Is narcissism a mental illness or a trait? Is summer daffodil a diagnosis? You may be an introvert, suffer from hypersensitivity or anxiety

Surely each of us has encountered in life a person who sees nothing else but himself. We jokingly call such people “narcissists,” recalling the hero of ancient mythology. But few people realize that such behavior can sometimes be a sign of a disease called pervasive narcissism.

Pervasive narcissism - general characteristics

According to ICD-10, this disease is a specific disorder of personality and behavior. It is characterized by:

• Unreasonably high self-esteem.
• Lack of feeling for another person.
• Superiority over others.

Diagnosis of the disease is not based on specific criteria; it is enough for a specialist to see the signs of the disorder. Narcissism has a lot in common with sociopathy. But its main difference is that a narcissist strives to achieve his own success with all his might, while a sociopath is unable to adhere to a goal for a long time due to his immoral life.

The most dangerous person for others is a person suffering from perverted narcissism.

Such a person will be:

• Manipulate people.
• Turn any situation to your advantage.
• Avoid open conflicts.
• To impose on other people good opinion About Me.
• Appreciate only what concerns only their person.

Why does narcissism occur?

Experts cannot pinpoint the exact causes of the disease, but they identify several stimulating factors.

The first of them is an inferiority complex. Laid in childhood low self-esteem may be provoked by defective upbringing: permissiveness or excessive severity. In addition, narcissism can develop in children who are unfamiliar with parental praise and support or, conversely, who have grown up in the image of an idol for worship.

An important role in the development of narcissism is played by genetic predisposition, namely the degree of resistance to stress and temperamental characteristics.

Signs of the disease often appear in adolescents, but in this age period it rarely signals the development of the disease and goes away as the child grows older.

In some cases, narcissism is a symptom of a serious mental disorder, for example, schizophrenia. For some time, patients ceased to understand reality and began to perceive themselves as higher beings.

Narcissistic women stand out for their ambition. They often quarrel with their children because they set high expectations for them and are very disappointed when they do not get what they expected. Such a woman’s husband will most often be calm and caring, but she will not respect him. A couple will have an “interesting” union where both partners suffer from narcissism. In such a relationship, mutual rivalry and caustic criticism will come first, so this relationship will end quickly.

Diagnosis of pathology

Diagnosis of the disease and any of its forms involves a physical examination of the patient in order to understand the reasons for the presence of problems that provoked a personality disorder. If there are no such diseases, the specialist resorts to a structured interview. During this technique, he studies the patient’s words and behavior, draws appropriate conclusions and identifies typical symptoms of a psychological illness.

As practice shows, recognizing a narcissist is not difficult. Such people have problems in all areas of life, while the patient himself does not agree with this. Denial of disharmony in life - characteristic symptom narcissism. Another striking sign of the disease is an inadequate reaction to criticism: a narcissist will never be able to calmly listen to negative information about himself.

In addition to interviews, the specialist may use other psychological techniques.

Studying patients for perverse narcissism involves differentiating the disease from antisocial, borderline and hysterical disorders. Since the patient himself does not understand the problematic nature of his condition, a qualified medical assistance Most often, people from the narcissist’s inner circle come forward. From them the doctor can also find out useful information, facilitating rapid diagnosis of the disease and selection of effective therapy.

Psychotherapy shows a high therapeutic effect in the treatment of perverted narcissism. Classes are available individual and group. Conversations are held with patients to help them recognize and neutralize the illness that has affected them. They are taught to correctly evaluate themselves and accept rational decisions. At this stage, the psychotherapist is required to competently reveal the essence of narcissism as a disease. If he does not do this, the patient may resist treatment, arguing that it is a loss of personal dignity.

The use of special medications is advisable if the patient suffers from:

• Depression.
• Panic attacks.
• Phobias and similar mental problems.

In such a situation, a specialist can prescribe the patient to take tranquilizers, antidepressants and herbal medicines.

Pharmaceuticals can only minimize the symptoms of the disease, but not cure the patient from it.

Prevention measures

Since narcissism develops based on certain reasons, its development can be prevented if the child is raised as a normal person from childhood.

To do this, parents need:

• Instill in your child self-respect and independence from the opinions of others.
• Allow your child to cry if necessary.
• Be able to firmly refuse the baby’s whims and not give in to hysterics.
• Praise the child if he honestly deserves it. At the same time, experts advise not to praise his merits to others in the presence of the baby.
• Protect your child from family scandals.
• Raise a child with the idea that he is an important part of society, but those around him should not fulfill his every whim.

– a mental disorder that is manifested by a sense of one’s own “specialness” and grandiosity with a suppressed feeling of insignificance and inner emptiness. The development of narcissism syndrome is associated with the formation of a false “I” in childhood, is caused by an early assessment of the child’s feelings, actions and character in combination with excessive admiration or, on the contrary, coldness and neglect. The severity and external manifestations of the disorder may vary. The diagnosis is made based on a conversation with the patient and the results of special surveys. Treatment is psychotherapy.

Narcissism syndrome is pathological narcissism, a sense of one’s own grandiosity combined with inner emptiness, suppressed feelings of envy, guilt and shame. Narcissism syndrome is one of the most pressing problems of modern psychotherapy and clinical psychology. Mental health experts say that in last decades the number of daffodils has increased several times. Some Western psychologists even propose to reconsider the diagnostic criteria for narcissism syndrome, since signs previously considered pathological are now being detected in many young and middle-aged people.

It is assumed that the increase in the number of patients with narcissism syndrome may be associated with changed attitudes of society: the priority of external success, increased competition in all spheres of life, etc. Despite objective circumstances, this state of affairs cannot be considered the norm, since narcissism syndrome entails constant dissatisfaction personal and social relations, an increase in the number of lonely and unhappy people married couples, and also increases the risk of developing depression, alcoholism and drug addiction. Treatment of narcissism syndrome is carried out by specialists in the field of psychotherapy and clinical psychology.

Causes of narcissism syndrome

Experts believe that this disorder is inherited, however, such transmission is not due genetic characteristics, but psychological deformation as a result of close communication with a parent or other significant adult suffering from narcissism syndrome. The reason for the development of this pathology is the early assessment of the child, an explicit or hidden requirement to meet certain standards. Such evaluation can manifest itself in two main ways - in excessive admiration and in rejection and neglect.

In both cases, the impetus for the development of narcissism syndrome is the non-recognition of the baby as an individual, the non-acceptance of his character, temperament, abilities, feelings and needs. The expressed conditionality of parental love becomes the reason for the formation of a false “I”. The child feels an implicit (in case of excessive admiration) or explicit (in case of excessive demands) threat of rejection. Parents devalue his real personality, and the patient suffering from narcissism syndrome, trying to maintain love and intimacy, gets used to following his parents in rejecting and devaluing his “bad”, “wrong” part.

The “wrong” part is suppressed, deep down the patient with narcissism syndrome feels unhappy. Successes do not bring joy and peace because the patient does not recognize and satisfy his true needs. In place of suppressed feelings, an internal emptiness appears. The life of a patient with narcissism syndrome turns into a pursuit of external confirmation of his success, exclusivity and uniqueness. A pronounced external locus of control causes extreme instability of self-esteem. The patient constantly “swings” between insignificance and grandiosity.

Symptoms of narcissism syndrome

The main signs of narcissism syndrome are negatively expressed doubts, indicating narcissism, vanity, selfishness and indifference to others. Narcissists have a need for constant attention and adoration. They exaggerate their achievements, consider themselves special, unique and inimitable. “Ordinary”, “ordinary”, “like everyone else” in the eyes of a patient with narcissism syndrome looks like an intolerable insult.

Patients fantasize and set unrealistic goals. The subject of fantasies is usually incredible success in life, admiration, wealth, power, beauty or extraordinary love. To achieve their goals (both large and small, everyday) they use other people. Patients with narcissism syndrome are arrogant and incapable of empathy. They do not understand or do not recognize the feelings, needs and interests of others, and assume that other people must unquestioningly agree with their desires and point of view.

Patients with narcissism syndrome are sure that others envy them. They are easily vulnerable, extremely sensitive to criticism, insults and failures, and often show aggression for minor reasons. Shame in narcissism syndrome is unbearable. Failure to be aware and accept own feelings in combination with inflated demands on oneself and others activate the whole complex defense mechanisms. Patients with narcissism syndrome tend to judge themselves and others. They criticize, express contempt and regret, devalue or ignore. The basis of this behavior is suppressed envy, the need to destroy what others have and what the sick lack.

Other traits characteristic of the narcissism syndrome are perfectionism and disappointment. These are closely related methods of protection. On the one hand, patients with narcissism syndrome try not to become attached to anyone in order to avoid disappointment, since they consider any close relationship potentially traumatic. On the other hand, they create ideal images the future in their imagination, and then become disappointed by the discrepancy between reality and the ideal (they alternate between idealization and devaluation).

The internal experiences of a patient with narcissism syndrome are contradictory and extremely ambivalent. He feels either self-sufficiency and superiority over other people, or shame, envy, falsehood and emptiness. This phenomenon is associated with the lack of a full-fledged holistic image of the “I” in the syndrome of narcissism. The patient’s personality cannot simply be; it is viewed from opposite positions and is emotionally assessed in the categories of “absolute plus” (grandiosity) or “absolute minus” (insignificance).

In in a rare case When a patient with narcissism syndrome succeeds in achieving his goal, a grandiose outcome occurs. This outcome fuels a sense of uniqueness and gives you the opportunity to respect yourself for your achievements. In case of failure, a patient with narcissism syndrome is exhausted, “falls” into insignificance, a feeling of his own defectiveness. Throughout life, patients constantly try to protect themselves from feelings of insignificance, avoiding feelings and actions that may contribute to the awareness of their inadequacy and dependence on other people.

Diagnosis and treatment of narcissism syndrome

The diagnosis is made based on a conversation with the patient and test results using special questionnaires. Many patients with narcissism syndrome perceive the diagnosis as an accusation. Resentment, aggression and refusal of treatment are possible, so the doctor reports the diagnosis carefully, with extreme caution, focusing on acceptance and lack of judgment. Treatment of narcissism syndrome is carried out on an outpatient basis by a psychologist or psychotherapist. Long-term consistent work is required to recognize suppressed feelings of envy, shame and fear of being ordinary, “like everyone else.”

If there are relatives suffering from narcissism syndrome, relationships with a significant adult are studied, during which the patient learns to identify manifestations of the disorder in a relative. He becomes aware of his feelings about judgment, manipulative behavior, and other problems that arise in people who have to deal with a narcissist, and then develops new, healthier ways of responding. Over time, the patient learns to monitor manifestations of narcissism syndrome not only in a relative, but also in himself. This, along with awareness of envy, shame and other negative feelings, provides resources and opportunities for behavior change.

Transactional analysis and Gestalt therapy are considered the most effective psychotherapeutic techniques for narcissism syndrome. It is possible to use other long-term techniques, for example, classical psychoanalysis or Jungian depth psychotherapy. The prognosis depends on the severity of the disorder, the age of the patient with narcissism syndrome and the level of his motivation. With constant active cooperation with a psychologist or psychotherapist, it is possible to significantly reduce narcissistic manifestations and improve the quality of life.

You're more likely to find a narcissist in a well-known company's office than on the street, a new study suggests. That's because the personality traits that make narcissists difficult for most people to deal with (including the constant need to test others, the willingness to control people, the ruthlessness of demanding their own needs be met) make them extremely effective at climbing the career ladder.

Do you consider yourself or someone around you to be a narcissist? Here general signs narcissism that will allow you to test it.

You are a bad athlete

Some narcissists turn out to be bullies, and one of their most difficult character traits is their tendency to misperceive both failures and victories.

For example, when they lose in a sporting competition, they may try to humiliate the referee. When they win, they may gloat excessively or insult the losing party.

You constantly feel underappreciated

People who can be called “grand” narcissists are always resentful of the world. They tend to feel entitled to something better and think they don't get the recognition they deserve from others.

You may be an introvert, suffer from hypersensitivity or anxiety

Psychologists talk about “the two faces of narcissism.” On the one hand, there is the hyper-aggressive, super-loud type. But there is also a milder form of narcissism. This is “secret narcissism”, which is indicated by introversion, hypersensitivity, defensiveness and anxiety.

Both shades of narcissism have common ground- this is arrogance, arrogance and the tendency to pay attention only to one’s own needs and not to take others into account.

Many narcissists are know-it-alls and find it very difficult to argue with colleagues and friends because they refuse to believe that they could be wrong about anything.

Such narcissists have a strong sense of superiority over others and take only their own opinions into account when making decisions.

Do you really like to argue with people?

People who are prone to narcissism are more prone to discussions and arguments than others. They also tend to use more explicit language.

You're smug

Narcissists often believe that their views are inherently superior to those of other people. But what really matters is the attention they receive in response to expressing these views.

For example, a narcissistic person may believe that he has a closer connection with God, but it is more important to him when other people recognize this connection and admire his deep spirituality.

You feel entitled to be vindictive

Narcissistic people usually know that vindictive or antisocial behavior is not acceptable. But they feel entitled to act this way because they constantly feel that they have been wronged. What's more, they often get offended for no particular reason, which means they constantly hear other people say, "That's not what I meant!"

You get pleasure from telling others what to do.

Narcissists tend to use their leadership position to dominate others and force them to comply with their own demands.

You hate your own emotions

The very act of showing emotion in the presence of another person suggests that you may be emotionally moved by friends, family, partners, random tragedy or misfortune. This is why narcissists try to avoid any emotional expression.

The presence of emotions challenges the narcissist's perfect autonomy.

As a result, the narcissist usually tries to change the topic of conversation if it affects feelings - especially his own.

You are probably a young man

After conducting interviews with 34,653 people, psychologist Frederick Stinson found that men tend to be more narcissistic than women. Narcissism is believed to reach its peak in adolescence and decreases with age.

You are considered attractive and dress better than others

Narcissists tend to be rated by others as more stylish and physically attractive, according to a study conducted by psychologists at the University of Washington.

Instead of listening, you wait to talk.

Narcissism in communication usually manifests itself in the fact that a person tries to talk only about himself, gesticulates, talks loudly, brags and shows disinterest when others are talking.

You are extremely romantic

Narcissistic people tend to fall in love quickly and easily, often with people they barely know. They think their partner is absolutely perfect (in addition to their own perfection) until they have to face reality. When narcissists realize that their partner is flawed, they end the relationship.

You are cheating in relationships

Narcissists most often deceive their partners when they themselves think that they are committed to them.

Partners dump you after dating for four months

The four month mark is the visible peak of satisfaction in any relationship. As a rule, this is how long it takes for the partner of a narcissistic person to see him in his true light.

You put some people on a pedestal

The logic of a narcissist is as follows: “If I find ideal person and I will become closer to him, perhaps his perfection will affect me, and those around me will perceive me the same way.”

In their search for such perfection, narcissists admire people they perceive as perfect - be it a colleague or a partner - and then become extremely disappointed when that person turns out to be less than perfect as they imagined, because to the narcissist, everything has to be perfect.

You enjoy humiliating other people

Narcissistic people deliberately put others down in order to maintain their own positive image. Ultimately, this becomes increasingly difficult to achieve because others do not always readily applaud them. This means that narcissists should always be looking for new acquaintances from whom they will receive their next dose of admiration. This also explains why narcissists usually only maintain weak relationships.

Your parents ignored and adored you at the same time

According to Sigmund Freud, the combination of parental rejection and excessive admiration is more closely associated with narcissism in adulthood than if they only pursued one tactic. Parents' inconsistency in their treatment of their children will ultimately lead to a "deep thirst for admiration." A narcissist spends his life seeking fleeting approvals that boost his ego.

Narcissistic men and women choose their friends differently. Women choose male friends with high social status, next to whom they could feel a sense of self-worth. Men choose friends who can be wingmen.

You have to control everything

Just as narcissistic people hate talking about their feelings, they also cannot afford to be at the mercy of other people's preferences. It reminds them that they are not invulnerable or completely independent.

That's why they want to control everything. In the case of a romantic relationship, the narcissist tries to control a partner who has different views, tries to change his plans. This allows the narcissist to undermine other people's ability to make choices. By doing this, the narcissist maintains his sense of complete autonomy, which he so desperately needs.

Are you willing to tolerate other people's narcissistic traits?

Turns out, best friends tend to show similar levels of narcissism. The greatest similarities were found between male friends who are extremely narcissistic.

One of many possible reasons This phenomenon is that narcissists are less put off by other people's narcissism because they only pay attention to themselves.

Narcissism syndrome has become widespread among people, regardless of their age and gender, and is also among the most pressing problems in the field of psychology and psychotherapy. This phenomenon is caused by a personality disorder and can be corrected through preventive measures and targeted treatment using various tactics.

Narcissism - what is it?

Narcissism is a manifestation of human character in the form of excessive narcissism and overly inflated self-esteem. Those with this syndrome have a strong and changeable emotional background and an unrealistic perception of themselves. In view of this, there may be increased attention or pathological self-love, a desire for superiority in everything and among everyone.

Narcissists are selfish and envious, unable to sympathize and empathize, and need praise and recognition from others. But despite everything negative sides, people with this syndrome try to hide their helplessness, uncertainty and insecurity, and protect their fragile self-esteem from external influences. So, how to recognize narcissists in society?

Signs of Narcissism

Symptoms of narcissism are varied in nature. In this regard, they highlight the most common signs of the syndrome:

• An exaggerated sense of one’s importance (importance).
• Demanding increased admiration from others.
• Zero or strong reaction to criticism.
• A passionate desire to gain wealth, power, beauty, coolness and love.
• Confidence in one's own uniqueness and specialness.
• Lack of compassion and guilt.
• Envy and a contrived feeling of envy from others.
• Demonstration of non-existent achievements and success (boastfulness).
• Excessive self-confidence.
• Taking a defensive position.
• Arrogant attitude (behavior) and ambition.
• Sometimes malicious banter and insults.
• Showing anger and rage in controversial situations.
• Pursuit of mercantile interests.
• Fear of one's own inferiority.
• Disguising one's own negative aspects, and focusing on the shortcomings of others.

Note! We can talk about narcissism only when a person exhibits 5 or more signs of the syndrome.

Causes

The emergence of narcissism syndrome can be due to three main reasons:

• Anatomical.
• Psychological.
• Children's.

Anatomical reasons characterized by the following changes in the brain:

• thickening of the cortex;
• thickening of the outer shell;
• low activity in the place where empathy is formed;
• reduction of gray matter in the area responsible for compassion.

Additional Information. Physical abnormalities in the brain that indicate signs of narcissism can be detected through MRI.

Psychological reasons are:

• low self-esteem;
• presence of a mental disorder (schizophrenia or similar);
• changed value system (media influence, etc.);
• unhealthy fanaticism, passionate idol worship;
• dependence on other people's opinions;
• psychological trauma;
• excessive care and cultivation of a sense of uniqueness.

Children's reasons occurrence of the syndrome (provoked by parents):

• inappropriate upbringing in childhood (permissiveness, pampering, idealization and frequent praise);
• lack of discipline in the child (what is not allowed and what can be done);
• parents’ refusal to develop healthy self-esteem in their child;
• lack of approval and support from parents (the child tries to earn it);
• standards of behavior imposed by parents through distortion of facts, due to which the child develops denial and defense mechanisms.

Important! Most often, narcissism syndrome develops in those who were deprived of parental approval and support in childhood.

Narcissism in psychology

Due to a damaged ego and impaired self-identity, narcissists often have difficulty communicating with other people, which leads to problems in their personal lives. It is difficult to cooperate, make friends and build love with those with the syndrome. According to psychologists, people with narcissistic tendencies are divided into 2 types:

• Classic narcissists (narcissists). Convinced of their own irresistibility, importance and genius. They do a favor by treating everyone condescendingly - allowing them to be admired, unrequitedly cared for and served.
• Insecure narcissists. They feel special and at the same time doubt everything constantly. They need regular attention and admiration from others. This type of narcissist most often includes stars who are trying to get rid of feelings of uselessness and lack of demand.

Endowed with narcissism syndrome, a person received in the past psychological trauma and mobilized internal resources to form a kind of halo around one’s person in order to create a false impression of importance and superiority.

Often people suffering from narcissism have an unkind attitude towards elders, children, animals and other animate objects that have the ability to concentrate attention on themselves. At the same time, those with the disorder can skillfully mask their attitude towards the above-mentioned creatures, but they will not help them - this will reveal the narcissist.

It's important to remember that narcissists rarely care what they think. He is perceived exclusively as a gray mass, capable of listening to the narrator with interest. Carriers of the syndrome monitor their health with particular trepidation and demand a similar attitude from others.

Narcissism syndrome: how is it formed? (video)

The video talks about narcissism syndrome. What he really is. For what reasons does it occur? How does it manifest itself? And how to deal with this disorder.

Manifestations of narcissism in men and women

Features of the narcissistic syndrome manifest themselves differently in men and women.

Men with such a disorder they try to mobilize their strength to achieve only one goal - to become significant in their eyes and to others. This desire will help you achieve success in your career and gain material goods- Satisfy your ambitions. Having achieved the desired result, narcissistic men do not rejoice for long. After some time, they are faced with emptiness. As a result, desires and aspirations begin to grow exponentially.

It should be noted that up to 35 years of age, men with narcissism syndrome do not experience much anxiety due to the constant addition to the list of goals and tasks that require implementation. It’s just that with age they begin to feel more and more unhappy. Problems related to building relationships with other people, including family members, come to the fore. Outbursts of aggression may occur. Such a man acquires the title of domestic tyrant.

Narcissistic women They are also ambitious. Problems may arise in establishing contact with children due to excessive demands. Disappointment is also inevitable due to the fact that the child did not live up to expectations. It is noteworthy that such women quite often choose a calm and caring man, whom they do not consider necessary to respect.

The situation is most complicated when each spouse is a carrier of the syndrome. In this situation, they will not be able to avoid the constant struggle for the title of the best of the best. Frequent sarcastic remarks and harsh criticism will quickly destroy the relationship between spouses, putting an end to the marriage.

Note! Narcissism syndrome occurs more often in men than in women.

Diagnostics

Narcissism syndrome does not pose any serious danger, although it does cause some discomfort to others. If the disorder causes a lot of problems for the carrier, it is necessary to contact a psychotherapist for diagnostic measures. This will allow you to quickly begin to eliminate the disease.

Regardless of the causes of narcissism, first specialists conduct a physical diagnosis - they try to identify pathologies. If there are none, the specialist interviews the patient. Answers to questions and accompanying behaviors will help identify signs of the syndrome. Symptoms of narcissism can also be identified through special questionnaires or tests.

Most often, narcissism is quite easy to identify. Those with the syndrome are unsuccessful in many areas of life, and denial of the existing disharmony only strengthens the doctor’s suspicion. When communicating with patients, you should take into account their unique and harsh attitude towards criticism. In most cases, it is not the owner of the disorder who seeks help, but his relatives. Their detailed descriptions help the doctor form a picture of the patient.

A mandatory point when diagnosing narcissism syndrome is the exclusion of other disorders:

• antisocial (presence of alcohol, drug addiction);
• hysterical (using others and uncompromising manipulation);
• borderline (presence of anxiety and suicidal tendencies).

Treatment of narcissism syndrome

Before starting treatment, it is necessary to find an approach to the patient. Patients often take a defensive position when communicating with a doctor and demonstrate in every possible way control over the narcissism syndrome. Only a worthy specialist with a reputation and impressive appearance, and who also works in an elite clinic, can win them over. The arrogant attitude towards other employees of the institution will continue.

Another approach to treatment is that the doctor accepts the patient's superiority, but does not show leniency towards him. The specialist’s task is to regulate the patient’s self-esteem. The medical staff is guaranteed to show the necessary attention and respect.

Therapeutic measures to eliminate the disorder are determined by the doctor in each specific case. Distributed the following types treatment:

• Individual.
• Group.

Individual therapy – work of a specialist with a patient one on one. The doctor must be able to recognize the signs of narcissism and be savvy in psychology. It is necessary to exclude criticism of the patient and recognize his importance in order to avoid injury to self-esteem. The doctor's expression of sympathy is inappropriate.

Group therapy is aimed at developing healthy self-esteem in patients and recognition of others as individuals. First, the therapist teaches the patient how to show empathy for other group members. With this treatment option, the specialist seems less authoritative - the patients’ anxiety and aggression begin to be controlled. The doctor’s task is to reveal the essence of the disease, and the patient’s task is not to leave the group during the revelation.

Hello, dear readers. Today we will talk about what narcissism is in men. You will become aware characteristic features this condition. Find out the reasons for its development. Let's talk about ways to get rid of narcissism.

Definition of the concept and classification

Narcissism is the manifestation of a person’s character traits in the form of extremely inflated self-esteem and excessive narcissism. Such people have changeable emotions and incorrect perceptions of their own person. There is excessive self-love and increased attention, the desire to surpass everyone in everything. Narcissists are selfish individuals, capable of empathy and sympathy, feeling the need for recognition and to be praised. Despite negative traits character, narcissists try to hide their own insecurities from outside influence.

There are classic narcissists, as well as insecure ones:

• the first ones feel their irresistibility, feel important - they treat everyone condescendingly, allow them to take care of themselves;
• the latter feel their specialness, while constantly doubting. Such individuals need admiration, they need the attention of other people.

Among narcissists, four types are conventionally distinguished.

1. Two-faced individuals. They surround themselves with people who idolize them and believe in exclusivity. If a person appears in a social circle who treats them with disdain, such an individual is no longer noticed and is removed from sight. They can show aggression towards people who begin to criticize them.
2. Individuals who want to shine. He needs universal recognition, craves fame every minute. Confidence in one's irresistibility borders on delusions of grandeur. If you begin to communicate closely with such an individual, you understand that, in fact, he is nothing, a lack of self-sufficiency, anxiety, emptiness, and self-doubt are hidden inside. Inner world this individual is full of experiences. This behavior is a protective reaction of the body. His biggest fear is that others will find out about his vulnerability. At times he himself forgets about his true self, connecting with the image of a narcissist. For such an individual, it is important not to merge with the others, not to become part of the gray mass. Such a person will not admit his problems. He doesn't care if he is mistaken for a madman, as long as he is not considered a failure.
3. Consumers of love from women. Such individuals can be sure that they do not need to communicate with ladies, but they fade away without love. Such individuals cannot cope without female attention and care. Thanks to this, they have the opportunity to fill the inner emptiness. They cannot truly love, even themselves. Such individuals are absolutely confident in their abilities. Emotional dependencies cause great fear, which is why such individuals avoid serious relationships. They constantly keep their distance, control their feelings, this is what makes them attractive in the eyes of a representative of the opposite sex. Relationships can end easily and without explanation.
4. Detached seducers. Such a person has no interest in the people around him, he treats everyone with disdain, and is unable to remain alone. For such an individual, it is important to be admired and applauded. This allows you to fill your body with energy. Such a man will definitely shower you with compliments, show his generosity, and do crazy things. Such individuals manipulate other people, are able to abruptly change the topic of conversation, and constantly demonstrate that only they are worthy of everyone’s attention.

There is also such a thing as perverted narcissism in a man. It manifests itself by seducing a woman, gaining power over her, and manipulating her. Such a person easily misleads his victim and behaves prudently.

Possible reasons

In total, three main groups of factors influencing the development of narcissism are considered.

Anatomical factors include:

• changes in brain structure;
• a decrease in the amount of gray matter in the part of the brain responsible for feelings of compassion;
• low activity in the area of ​​the brain where the feeling of empathy is formed.

Children include:

• improper upbringing, in particular, pampering, permissiveness;
• failure of parents to promote the development of healthy self-esteem in the child;
• lack of discipline - the child does not know what is possible and what is not;
• lack of support and approval from parents;
• imposing a certain model of behavior by parents on a child by distorting facts.

Psychological factors include:

• a changed value system under the influence of the media;
• dependence on the opinions of other people;
• low self-esteem;
• mental disorder, in particular schizophrenia;
• fanaticism, presence of an idol;
• excessive care.

Characteristic manifestations

1. The narcissist tries to appear different from who he really is. He wants to be smarter and more beautiful. Often used cosmetical tools to improve your appearance. Going into social media, upon stumbling upon the narcissist's account, you can see photographs demonstrating successful life. Although this is not true. At the same time, he will definitely edit his photos using special programs to improve your appearance. He tries with all his might to impress people, and often ends up deceiving him. Over time, the narcissist himself begins to believe in the invented image and does not agree with the reality of what is happening, which is a manifestation of schizophrenia.
2. Bombast. He behaves like a sublime being and treats others like servants. Tries to stand out from other people in any way.
3. It is his habit to humiliate. In this way, he increases his own self-esteem, his mood improves by humiliating others.
4. Such a person is afraid to show his emotions, because he believes that this is the limit of weaklings. A narcissist may show some feelings, but do it for show, in order to increase his importance.
5. Lack of ability to be a good listener. If a person knows how to listen, then he can sympathize and show patience. Narcissists do not have these properties. Such individuals interrupt the interlocutor when communicating, want to remain in the center of attention, and “me, me, me” is constantly heard in the conversation.
6. Such an individual often exaggerates his achievements. He passes off even the smallest victories as the result of long work. Such a person does not mind boasting, and often boasts of external attributes that he did not even earn.
7. Blaming other people. Such individuals do not resort to self-criticism. Therefore, at the slightest failure, they will blame everyone around, but not themselves.
8. Obsession with power and success. When we talk about success, in this case the conversation is not about working on oneself, self-development, there is an external gloss. Such individuals will not be on an equal footing with other people, much less obey anyone.

We can conclude that such individuals are characterized by the presence of the following manifestations:

• exaggerated sense of self-importance;
• preoccupation with fantasies of power, beauty, success, superiority;
• the expectation that he will be recognized, while no effort is made;
• the need to be constantly admired;
• using people to achieve their goals;
• exaggeration of achievements and talents;
• the need to be treated in a special way, to unquestioningly carry out his orders;
• unable or unwilling to recognize the needs of anyone other than oneself;
• arrogant, arrogant behavior;
• envy of others, confidence that everyone envies him;
• heightened response to critical statements;
• complete confidence in your uniqueness;
• there is no compassion, the object does not feel guilty;
• expression of anger during conflict situations;
• fear of one's inferiority;
• boastfulness, demonstration of success;
• characterized by the presence of mercantile interests;
• focusing on the negative traits of other people, masking one's shortcomings.

How to behave around a narcissist

A man, a narcissist, can appear in a girl’s life at any moment. She may run into him in the park, in a cafe, or even at work. Such a young man looks so attractive that a rare young lady will be able to pass by and refuse to communicate.

1. If a woman decides to have a relationship with such a young man, she should think about her own safety. We must remember that in such a situation a girl is capable of forgetting and submitting to a man. The narcissist more often chooses a partner who has a pronounced sense of guilt; such a young lady is easier to manipulate. Due to female insecurity he increases his self-esteem.
2. If you are going to communicate with a narcissist, you need to set conditional boundaries in your mind and not allow the man to control you.
3. If you get the feeling that a young man is trying to break you, you need to break up with him immediately. You need to be prepared for the fact that such a partner will not change his lifestyle and few will be able to correct it.
4. Have fun with the narcissist, but don't plan a future with him. serious relationship. You shouldn't think about starting a family.

Ways to combat narcissism

First of all, the specialist must find the right approach to the patient. Often the patient begins defensive actions. I talk to the doctor, he is trying to prove that he controls his condition. It is necessary that the doctor either show his importance, high reputation, excellent external data, or that the doctor allows the patient to feel his superiority over him, but at the same time he cannot remain condescending.

The task of a psychologist or psychotherapist is to regulate the patient’s self-esteem. In each individual case, the need for therapeutic measures will be determined. Group and individual therapy can be used in this way.

1. The basis of group therapy is the development of a person’s correct self-esteem, the awareness that there are equally significant individuals around him, the correct attitude towards them, and the development of empathy.
2. Individual therapy. The patient and the doctor are left alone. A specialist must be able to recognize manifestations of narcissism. It is important that the patient does not succumb to criticism from the doctor, and that the specialist recognizes his importance. It is necessary to develop empathy. There must be an awareness that you need to listen and strive to satisfy not only your own interests and needs, but also other people. A person must understand that there are other people besides him who may need his help and support.

Precautionary measures

If your future man, then it is now necessary to take care of the rules of upbringing in order to avoid the young narcissist growing up.

1. It is important that the child knows how to respect other people, as well as himself. It is necessary to rid him of excessive modesty and shyness, uncertainty in his own person.
2. It is unacceptable to brag about his achievements to other people in the presence of a baby.
3. Do not allow other relatives to praise your child too often.
4. It is necessary to remind your baby as often as possible how much you love him.
5. Teach your child what “no” and “no” are, even in situations when he begins to cry and be capricious.
6. Both parents must respond correctly to their son's behavior, and their reactions must be the same.
7. It is necessary to praise the baby only if there are actual achievements.
8. Avoid quarrels and conflicts in the presence of a child.

Now you know what the signs of narcissism are. As you can see, such a person is obsessed with his person and appearance, in fact, he may not notice who is next to him. If life has brought you closer to a narcissist, do everything to change him or be content with the time spent with him without making plans for the future.