What is a mat?
First of all, it should be noted that the so-called curse words in the distant past were neither offensive nor prohibited - they were widely used in folklore, in colloquial speech, in literature. Some of these words are original Slavic origin, and initially they denoted quite decent things or actions. Other words were borrowed from the Proto-Indo-European language - these are mainly names for intimate parts of the body or actions - but, again, without any "dirty" meaning.
Mat as a phenomenon is inherent in many nations, although it is the Russians who have gained the reputation of being the most “tasty” (today even Europeans and Americans use it). But let's get back to the story... Eastern Slavs there was a pagan cult of fertility - belief in the mystical unity of earth and sky. Using obscenities, the pagans scared away evil spirits. During pagan wedding ceremonies, they sang so-called “corruption songs” containing insults to the groom, so that the wife would not have to scold him in family life. It was also believed that “swear words” helped against damage and the evil eye.
The ban on swearing appeared with the adoption of Christianity - and not at all because these words themselves were bad. The Church fought against any manifestations of paganism - magical spells, rituals, holidays, etc. The Slavic obscenity became “sinful” precisely for the reason that it was in conflict with the new confession, and that’s all. However, it never disappeared from everyday use and continues to be used to this day.
True, during the “persecution” it acquired new shades: modern Russian swearing carries a powerful emotional charge, and the main emphasis is on the “dirty” concepts associated with sexual life (in Spanish swearing, for example, the worst insult is “stupid” , that is, associated with mental abilities). For some modern people swearing is not even a weapon of defense (capable of bringing murderous emotions out and thereby freeing the human psyche) or attack (disarming the enemy psychologically), but simply dirt or verbal sloppiness caused by the poverty of the vocabulary.
In addition, all the wealth of obscene vocabulary that fits into a thick dictionary has not been used for a long time. Basically, only a few nouns are used, the same number of adjectives formed from them, and also no more than ten verbs, verbal forms and adverbs. Although some people know how to very inventively “give out” intricate and long curse words, known as “three-story swearing.”
The protective function of swearing
Why is there swearing in the language? For expression strong emotions speaker and for a sharp emotional impact on the listener. In short, for acute, difficult, dangerous situations. We can say that swearing in people is an analogue of growling in animals, a kind of warning signal: “I am unsafe.”
People swear more often when their need for protection increases. From the transcripts of the “black boxes” it is known: the last thing the pilots say, having managed to understand the inevitability of death, is not the word “end”, but its obscene analogue. In addition, swearing is used for teenage self-affirmation (it really works effectively), as well as by adults with low self-esteem (or who feel insecure in a certain way). difficult situation). Simply put, the more vulnerable a person’s position, the more inclined he is to swear, resorting to the external trappings of his importance.
Sociologists believe that the modern “surge in obscene activity” is associated precisely with the unstable and confused situation of people. Today, swearing permeates the entire culture, language, including public performance than it was 20-25 years ago. Apparently, this is the result of a gigantic social breakdown, as a result of which people in general are now scared. The old foundations of an acceptable life have been broken, and new ones have not only not yet been formed, they are not even visible on the horizon.
How does swearing affect quality of life?
Real trouble can start for those who are accustomed to using “obscene” language in everyday speech. It may be quite difficult for them to control themselves so as not to accidentally lose face in a conversation with strangers, at an interview, important meeting or a dinner party. In other words, speech culture is an essential element of image, and a person’s business and social success often depends on its quality.
The habit of swearing greatly affects a person’s ability to maintain meaningful communication with loved ones. But it’s not the swear words themselves that are to blame for this, but psychological reasons their use. That is, lack of confidence in oneself, in one’s surroundings, in the future as such. In such a state, a person is not able to listen to others, delve into their thoughts and feelings, imagine himself in the place of his interlocutor and sympathize. A person who swears is more negative towards others and household members, and is much less likely to offer help.
There are even rumors that swear words negatively affect human DNA, and that the seeds of plants over which such tirades are uttered do not germinate well. Of course, the point is not so much in the sound of swear words, but in the negative energy charge that usually accompanies them. Although, in general, no one forbids saying the same words calmly and even with a smile. In the same way, swear words remain neutral if they are repeated by a small child who does not understand their meaning. But we’ll talk about how to avoid this next time.
Star and persimmon. What do these two words have in common? A person who is clean from all kinds of foul language will most likely think that they cannot be connected in any way. But if you understand the meaning of the analogy, you are at risk. The risk of appearing uncultured in public due to the excessive use of obscene words.
Wherein problem of frequent use of swear words is very relevant in our lives. It has always been relevant - a hundred, two hundred, and a thousand years ago. Previously, people could even be executed for using foul language. Now, of course, society has moved away from radical methods, but everyone still knows that swearing is not good. But they still fight. So what is the reason for obscene language?
The reasons why a person uses swear words in speech can be very different. Of course, you should look for the “root of evil” in yourself, but the environment plays a lot important role. That’s why some individuals really want to throw in a couple of “strong words”:
Wants to seem like a leader
Most often, bosses find themselves in this situation. If the subordinate is a simple person, then, therefore, he will not understand otherwise. And he won’t be able to answer anything - the boss manages the jobs. Showing importance by intimidating innocent people (although often on the contrary) is a sign of weakness. Read about You can point out mistakes and scold a careless subordinate without swearing, using clever intricacies of words, which, by the way, is what the well-known Doctor Bykov from the popular TV series about interns uses. Notice - not a single swear word, but it’s offensive. But the problem is precisely that you need to speak calmly and to the point with your subordinates, without pretending to be an unapproachable giant despot.
I just got used to it
Relieves tension
It is unlikely that, after hitting a finger with a hammer or breaking a leg, a philologist will remember Pushkin’s language. This is a stressful situation from which the brain is trying to find at least some way out. By the way, American scientists conducted an experiment, thanks to which it turned out that shouting “good obscenities” significantly reduces the pain threshold. The person is just a little distracted from the problem. Or an extremely angry person “let off steam” in this way. In a word, there is nothing particularly bad about this, since the accumulation of negative emotions affects the psychosomatic background of the body. Some people swear when they are nervous. The main thing is not to transmit these negative emotions to another person. It's better to swear into the void. Whisper. Not in front of children.
Wants to stand out from the crowd
A typical teenager is a person looking for himself in this world, eager to try everything and find his niche. Except positive results There are also negative searches, such as smoking (we advise you to read about), drinking and, in fact, the use of obscene expressions. As the saying goes, " the Forbidden fruit sweet." Here only parental forces can influence the child. Just no assault.
From all of the above, it turns out that swearing is not always bad. But this impression is false. It is always bad to use foul language, as clergymen and philologists-linguists shout with one voice. And even scientists. Interesting experiment was held in Japan. The water, scolded, humiliated and insulted, was used to water wheat seeds. As a result, half of them did not rise. It follows from this that checkmate is negative energy, which under no circumstances should be splashed out on others, much less kept to oneself.
Using swear words in communication is bad form. Some people swear to boost their self-esteem or to prove they are right. But there is also a disease when children and adults swear completely involuntarily. It's called Tourette's syndrome and is a common disorder of the nervous system. And they treat it with neuroleptics.
A disease when a person swears
This syndrome is expressed not only in violation of speech ethics. Its main features are:
- Obsessive fears;
- Nervous tic;
- Speech problems;
- Anxiety and other psychological symptoms.
At the same time, the person simply does not realize what he is saying. Swear words come out of him for no reason and for no apparent reason. This is due to problems with concentration, irritability and other factors.
It is important to note that Tourette syndrome is often inherited. It can be received by children who were born to nervously ill parents or people who drink alcohol excessively.
How is Tourette's Syndrome treated?
This problem requires an integrated approach. By using medicines a person gets the opportunity to fight violations in nervous system. Sleeping pills are also used to create a comfortable sleep and suppress sudden mood swings.
The help of a psychologist also plays an important role. The specialist teaches a person to control his emotions and give an account of everything that is said. Eventually, acute symptoms manages to suppress.
This problem is completely controllable. If in childhood If you start to fight this, then a person can grow up to be quite full-fledged. Many people with Tourette syndrome have achieved great success V different areas. Therefore, you should not be afraid of such an illness.
Checkmate: illness or stupidity?
The disease, when people swear, manifests itself in childhood. It is clearly expressed in preschool and school age. Often teachers, parents and other adults believe that a child says nasty things out of stupidity, anger or because of a bad example.
Often, such children receive a good beating from their parents and suffer with the disease for the rest of their lives. But in addition to the swearing itself, a person can develop tremors (twitching of the limbs), psychosis, schizophrenia, paralysis, etc. So you shouldn't leave this disease without attention.
It is important to note that a sick person shouts nasty things arbitrarily. He doesn’t want to joke, argue with someone, etc. Often, such people themselves admit they are sick. And those around them can only provide them with qualified assistance.
I have Tourette's syndrome!
If you want to hide your foul language by feigning such deviation, then this will not work. After all, such a disease occurs 1 time in 2 thousand people. Moreover, only 30% of patients involuntarily swear. All other patients simply experience problems with nerves and nothing more.
The deviation in which people shout obscene words does exist. But this does not mean that every foul-mouthed person is sick. Therefore, it is worth separating lies from truth and paying more attention to your speech than to the directory of mental disorders.
- Starting a conversation about swearing, let us clarify that we are not talking about those people who can swear in their hearts once a year, but about those who season their entire speech with swear words. These people are clearly different from those who do not swear. What psychological reasons might push them to do this?
These psychological reasons are easy to understand based on our common experience. What is mat as a language institute? This is some kind of taboo part of the language, that is, a language that cannot be spoken. Strange: why should there be a language that cannot be spoken? It exists, but you can’t speak it. If you think about this contradiction, then purely logically it becomes clear: it is needed to show that I am breaking through this cultural barrier, I do not take it into account. That's how powerful I am, that's how cool I am, that's how independent I am!
This is a tool that regulates relationships. We can say that swearing in people is an analogue of growling in animals, a warning signal: I am unsafe.
People swear more often when their need for protection and self-affirmation becomes more acute. This is not due to lack of culture or excess strength. On the contrary, this is a spasm of self-doubt, this is a state in which a person especially greedily resorts to the external attributes of his importance. Simply put, than more people scared, the more they swear!
We are scared at the most various reasons. From the transcripts of the “black boxes” it is known: the last thing the pilots say, having managed to understand the inevitability of death, is not the word “end”, but its obscene analogue.
But you are asking about other people who swear for seemingly no apparent reason. In such cases, the reason is another fear, truly invisible and not recognized by the “foul-mouthed” themselves, but strong: this is the fear of one’s own lack of self-sufficiency, the unconscious fear that “I am bad” and that punishment awaits me for this.
There is another idea about why people swear: this is the idea of a “bad example” from which all parents want to protect their children. It seems that if a child hears “a lot of new words” from a friend, he will want to imitate him and will also start swearing.
This is a superficial idea. After all, this example of swearing (and any other aggression) is presented to more or less all children and adolescents in the world. But everyone follows it differently, everyone submits to it with different pliability. And people who lack self-confidence follow it with great enthusiasm. The less the feeling of self-sufficiency, the greater the desire to pass as one of your own.
- But there are examples of coolness and self-sufficiency of a completely different kind. There are intelligent, smart people. Why, out of all the examples of coolness, would-be swearers choose this kind of coolness?
Coolness is important for them precisely as physical external protection. After all, they are scared!
Once again let's return to the nature of swearing. What impression does this language make on us? First of all, the impression of increased aggressiveness. The distance from swearing to a blow is much shorter than from the correct phrase: “Well, Vasilich, you surprised me” (as in the famous joke). And so frightened people swear vigorously. Like, don’t touch me, otherwise I’ll hit you. And therefore for children who feel unprotected, subject to deservedly mistreatment of oneself, it is such a tempting shield.
- And it can be assumed that factors such as insufficiency influence vocabulary? The person does not know how to express his thought or emotion. And so he resorts to these words. The following connection is possible: a person hasn’t read enough books, so he doesn’t have enough purely expressive means?
No, there is no such direct connection. If a psychologically intact person does not have enough words to express some subtle feeling or describe some new reality, he may experience difficulties, may resort to interjections, “cursing and cursing,” but he will not have the need to swear. Moreover, swearing replaces voids in an emotional sense, but not in a semantic sense; it does not help the interlocutor better understand what the conversation is actually about.
In fact, there is a connection between lack of culture and swearing, but not direct, but, so to speak, indirect. The lack of words to express those very subtleties arises from the fact that the child simply does not hear these words. This is a child in whose family they talked mainly about specific material and economic topics. “Give me salt. It's already late. How many times should I tell you? But they didn’t talk about subtle feelings, didn’t admire beauty, didn’t sympathize with other people’s grief. This means that in that family they did not talk about the feelings of the child himself, and they did not sympathize with his experiences. This is how the child’s self-doubt, a feeling of rejection, is formed, which then provokes him to “foul-mouthed defense.”
- Do you mean an unfavorable environment in psychological and moral terms, or the fact that those around you swear, and it’s like an infection?
It is the same. Outwardly, it may look like the father is swearing, the neighbor is swearing, and therefore our patient is swearing. But this is not an infection that is transmitted by airborne droplets. This “infection” is transmitted differently. If the father swears, it means that he has increased aggressiveness (that is, as we understand, fear). And this, in turn, means that the father is not very accepting, he will not delve much into the condition of the child, and even his wife. Therefore, the child will feel unprotected and afraid. This will make him need to swear.
- How does the habit of swearing affect a person’s ability to maintain meaningful communication with loved ones?
It has a very strong influence, but not the swearing itself, but its origins. The same psychological reasons that provoke swearing spoil a person’s relationships with others.
For our loved ones, such communication is complete when we take part in them. When we really join them, imagine their feelings, focus on their circumstances. When we listen more than we speak.
Looking at relationships from this angle, you will immediately notice that sympathetic people swear much less than people whose participation remains mostly virtual. You will not see a person who is inclined to listen, focus on the interlocutor, and at the same time swear vigorously. These are some different images.
- That is, a person who swears experiences difficulties in close communication?
Yes. Not because he swears, but for the same reason he swears: because of lack of self-confidence. This makes him swear, and this also makes such a person less sympathetic. His own psychological discomfort is so great that it is difficult for him to focus on the discomfort of another person. Mat as a problem of speech reflects the problem of his mentality. Very rarely does a person accompany an offer to help with swearing. As a rule, swearing accompanies a refusal to help: “Fuck you... here and there.” A person who swears can be more negative for those around him, for his household.
There is another side to this problem. Life position the foul-mouthed person is close to the position of a fist fighter. But it must be said that people love or do not love themselves for exactly the same reason that they love or do not love those around them. Therefore, a fist fighter unconsciously does not love himself. He has, as psychologists say, negative self-acceptance. After all, none of us - neither intellectuals, nor notorious swearers - none of us loves a partner who stands in front of you in a fist-fight. Therefore, when a person lives in such a situation, he develops autoimmune aggression, he does not love himself.
“It has long been our custom to protect women from swearing, to say when someone swears: “What are you doing, there are women and children here.” Can you somehow explain this psychologically?
I think this is due to two reasons. The main thing is that swearing is really a prelude to a blow, to a push, to a negative physical impact. And women and children are the first to be taken away from this blow. Another reason is that the vocabulary of obscenities is 90% related to sexual realities.
- Now we see that young girls are often not embarrassed, but swear themselves. Can you comment on this somehow?
I can’t say for sure what this is connected with, I have two assumptions. One thing is that this is a natural consequence of the general feminist movement, which, in my opinion, is destructive for human culture and the human psyche.
And the second explanation is that now swearing in general permeates the entire culture, language, including public speeches much more than it was 15-20 years ago. And, if our logic is correct that frightened people swear, then this is the result of a gigantic social breakdown, as a result of which people in general are now frightened. The old foundations of an acceptable life have been broken, and new ones have not only not yet been formed, they are not even visible on the horizon. And people are lost, so they feel an acute need for self-affirmation.
- The person has different ways satisfy your needs. Healthy, not healthy. Here, swearing is one of the ways to satisfy the need for security and self-affirmation. Here is a man swearing. And what happens to his need?
Nothing good. It's a drug, not vitamin C.
- By the way, the word “drug” is very suitable, in the context next question. The question is how people wean themselves off this business. We know that it is very difficult to wean off the drug, and we have all met people who once swore, now they litter their tongue with some strange interjections, such as “la” (a piece of one obscene curse). This makes them some kind of clowns. You look, the person is mature, serious, but as soon as he starts “babbling”, the idea of him changes. Why can't they easily unlearn and speak normally?
You cite cases of purely mechanical getting rid of swearing. Mechanical, not substantive. That is, a person realized that it would be better not to swear, and begins to fight it at the level of vocabulary, and not at the level of reason. Then all sorts of euphemisms inevitably arise, one or the other. Sometimes these euphemisms look comical, sometimes quite cultural. For example, a person begins to endlessly say “as if.”
What is the meaningful fight against swearing as a drug? Indeed, this is a good analogy. Until the addict finds and feels for his correct, meaningful activity, no chemical or medical measures will be long-term. He will quickly roll back. It's the same here. Since swearing is provoked by a feeling of one’s own lack of self-sufficiency, this negativity is displaced by the search for one’s own sufficiency.
First of all, we're talking about about developing your compassion, about the skill of focusing on any person who appears in your field of vision. It's difficult. The more exhausted a person is, the more difficult it is, but overcoming this difficulty is his main salvation.
- Let's try to put ourselves in this person's place. He held on to the mat as if it were some kind of shell protecting him from outside world, he was like a bristling hedgehog. And suddenly he dropped these needles, he feels so naked and defenseless. He will probably be scared, “how am I like this without swearing, everyone can offend me”? And how will his compassion help him change his attitude towards people, help him feel that they are not a threat, but on the contrary, that they may need his participation, protection, and so on?..
It will probably be no secret to anyone that people very often swear quite obscenely. Swear words can be heard anywhere – at work, on the street, even at school. The question immediately arises: why do people swear? Is it impossible to resist this? Today we will try to find the answer to this problem.
Why do people swear - psychology
I want to seem more mature
Some people, especially young people, want to appear older than they really are. They look at grown men who often swear and think that this is an indicator of age. Many people start swearing in a very early age. Among peers this is considered normal. Then the child becomes serious, wants to be like an adult man, and parodies him.
Swear words are like a habit
When a person starts swearing early childhood, it may simply become a habit later. Sometimes the environment greatly influences a person. For example, if where he works they constantly use swear words, the person himself will begin to use such language. And this will not mean at all that he is a bad, evil or uncultured person, it’s just such a habit strong thing that it is difficult to get rid of it.
Showing anger
The next answer to the question of why people swear may be that they express their anger in this way. Especially aggressive people often do just that. They use swear words to express their superiority over other people. Using obscenities, they seem to be saying that their position is higher and they can prove this at any time, especially with the help physical strength.
Mat as a way to distinguish yourself
Some people believe that swearing will make them stand out from others. Supposedly, if society considers it uncivilized and a bad thing, we will do it our own way. Although in reality this is a very dubious way to distinguish yourself. Because today there are probably more people who swear. Based on this, it is easier to stand out in society when you communicate in normal Russian.
Think about why people use obscene language. Think carefully about why obscenities come out of your mouth. What is the reason for all this? After all, nothing happens for nothing, there is a reason for everything. But also remember that swear words will not make you better, will not set you apart from others in society. And in case of any problem, it will not become easier for you if you swear.
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