Stories from life. Two stories from family life

Hello, dear guests and blog readers. Many of us are often encountered in life with such situations in which you have to make completely unusual solutions that, in turn, end in unusual actions. The man did the right thing or not, ultimately be able to show only time, but to condemn, of course, can anyone who is aware of the act done.

Well, what if you make an act and about it and even the most reliable friends or friends never tell? Then he can stay secret for many years. So the woman thought, the story of the family relationship that shook the driver of an ordinary cargo car.

I will be with you, dear read, frank - the plot, which in this article I personally did not hear, but learning that in my blog "the relationship of a man and a woman. View of a man "I describe the stories of the relationship or family relations who behaved in me, one woman, to trust which I can 100%, told me the famous interesting story of a woman's life, to bypass which would not be correct. So, it was so ...

The history of family relations of one woman ...

There lived one young couple in the former Soviet Union. Everyone in their lives was well in addition to one - they did not work out to create a child. No matter how hard they try, but still nothing worked. At that time, it was not accepted about this, although it is possible that therefore a young couple did not decide to appeal to doctors and try to solve this family testing together.

And if you think about it a little and remember (of course, those who are older) a little past, then in the distant time in the USSR medicine in artificial fertilization probably only originated. But the essence was that at the request of the wife to go to the doctor, her husband reacted well not at all approvingly. The reason is understandable, because both in our time, and that, infertility for a man equates to the shame in a social environment.

After some time, the wife rides on a ticket to relax in the warm edges, which at that time often began and ended in the Caucasus. And during the rest, she decided to experience the sense of treason, in the name of a noble goal - to give birth to a child. We will not go into details, there, and the case has been done, the more men of Georgian appearance in the place of her rest grasidate.

It is difficult to say that it came to do it with a man of another, distinguished appearance of nationality, because if a child is not a Slavic appearance, then not to avoid family problems. But this is a decision of a woman, let it go and will remain a decision, and we will think that men of Slavic appearance wishing to help a woman in her hotel simply did not turn out.

Arriving home, she realized that she was pregnant. Speeches about abortion and could not be, because the child wanted both with her husband. And she decided that if a child of Slavic appearance would be born, she would not say anything to her husband, and if he looked like Georgians, he would have to admit everything to fate.

But you see in my life this woman did a lot of good, and they had a son, well, the autumn looks like a mother, they say that it should be, and the usual Slavic appearance. The woman sighed and naturally did not tell her husband. It is noteworthy that when her son grew, he had no signs of Georgian appearance.

Life continued and their son Ros, and finally grew up. It's time and he left away from Mom and Pope, and then fell in love and married. The new young couple was all folded well, and some time this woman had a grandson. And happy family life. Young couple continued.

But after half a year, Mom received a letter in which the Son reported that in his family scandal, and they were bred and his wife. But when mom called his son, he told her that his wife was walking and the child was not him, although his wife tried to prove with her husband with all their mights that she did not change him. But the son of a woman had a very good argument - his recently born her son looks like a Georgian ...

There was a situation that only one person could explain - Mom. She did not tell all the son on the phone, and reported only that he would come in a few days. She again did not tell her husband the truth, and a lot of years had passed, quickly gathered things, said goodbye to her husband, and went to visit her son. And on the road told this story to an unfamiliar man with the words: "I will tell them everything, as it was, I hope that they will understand and save their family and love for a newborn child, which is certainly not blamed."

Here is such a story of family relationships was told me. The woman did the right thing in his youth or not, I think it is entitled to solve only she. After all, it is unknown, as each of us would do in such a situation. But many say that the most expensive in the life of a person is children, and every husband and wife understand this perfectly, although they love each other.

But life alone and the child is a gift that brings parents, grandfathers and grandparents, many pleasant, sometimes restless, but filled with real human happiness days.

If you have questions, ask or share your opinion in the group, or in the comments to the article.

Inna Khamitova, a clinical psychologist, a systemic family psychotherapist, director of educational work of the Center for System Family Therapy.

History № 1.

Tatiana, married for 7 years, raises son 1.5 years

Problems in the relationship arose immediately after the birth of the child. We endlessly quarreled for any occasion: swimming, feeding, vaccinations, walking, dressing - every trifle brought us to screams. Even during pregnancy, my husband and I discussed different approaches to the upbringing and care of the child and in most cases they agreed with each other. I read a special literature, went to courses, then everything told her husband - and he agreed. He worked a lot, so most of the information perceived from my words. After giving birth, I tried to stick to those moments that I considered important, and thus cared for the baby. But the situation was complicated by the fact that in the first two months I had postpartum depression and some physiological problems. Therefore, I needed help. The husband is categorically against strangers in the house, so grandmothers were constantly arriving. And then my spouse as if replaced! He forgot everything we discussed, declared me "insane" and for each question called his mother. The fact that our mother-in-laws are diametrically opposed to mother-in-law, the husband perceived her opinion as the only true one. Now the child has been a year and a half, and during this time we traveled three times, but then converged again. Our relationship is more like the "Cold War": we live together, but we almost do not communicate, large quarrels are replaced by a short reconciliation ... He constantly presents me a claim for the care of the kid. For a year and a half of constant voltage and practically complete social insulation, I gained a whole "bouquet" of complexes, fears and uncertainty. But I love my husband and still hope to save the family.

Inna Khamitova:

In this story, this moment is immediately striking me: during pregnancy, all the information about the upbringing of the future child, the husband perceived with the words of Tatiana. Spouses purely theoretically simulated their future parenthood, but in this model the role of the lead, the most obvious woman was playing. Perhaps she had expectations that when a child is born, she remains the main expert in education, and the husband will be an auxiliary element. That is, it will behave in the same way as before childbirth, - to perceive information from her words. After giving birth, she tried to stick to these moments, but the first two months of Tatiana began problems, therefore, everything went wrong, she expected, and not as her husband expected. Perhaps some arrangements for these circumstances were broken. Once in the post-end depression, she certainly could not fulfill the role of the lead. Exactly, therefore her husband, who in this situation there was a state of increased anxiety, decided to rely on the fact that it is the most stable element - its parents. And when grandmothers begin to replace mom with dad, it always stands the question: and who is now the main parent here? Naturally, Tatiana did not like it. She had to give part of his mother's positions. And her husband, in turn, was between two lights: Mom and wife, - and this is a difficult conflict. It could also generate resentment - they and his wife were on different sides of the barricades. This gave rise to all increasing distance and misunderstanding, which led to the fact that they are now conflicted for any occasion. This is really a cold war that can be stopped, only sowing at the negotiating table. Now Tatiana sees only the enemy in her husband, but, it seems to me, it is very important for her to understand that and when he attracted her mother to the care of her mother, and when he was worried and offered his solutions to various issues, he really wanted to do as better. At that moment he had no other way out, because he himself could not cope with him, and his wife, which he counted as a lead, could not perform this function. They need to sit down at the negotiating table, based on the position that will never be as before. And to understand what each of them is willing to sacrifice the sake of saving the family.

History № 2.

Svetlana, married for 5 years, raises a daughter for 10 months

The first thing I encountered after the birth of a child, "the husband constantly" flew "from home. It came very late, on the weekend loved to have fun with friends. I naturally went crazy because I was waiting for it to help me. Care has been gained, I'm with a baby as a soldier: slept and filed, slept and filed. The time does not remain completely, you get tired and you begin to get angry. But now I see that the husband realized paternity! He is very pamping the baby, and I started experiencing real jealousy. I feel that I start to distance from my husband, as if I forget how to talk to him. More often than before, I break and start to "cut" it. Often everyone is dissatisfied. The only thing that saves in such situations is His sense of humor, and otherwise he would simply could not stand me. I used to be restrained. He could often be silent and stuck, and now it's hard to do. I constantly seems to me that I do not have time, because of this I am in a state of constant tension. And the conversation manner appeared appropriate. But when we went to relax for two weeks with the whole family, all began to improve! Somewhere by the tenth vacation day, I again learned to communicate with my husband, joke and laugh!

Inna Khamitova:

Before the birth of the child, they lived as a couple for a long time - and this is a very important point. And although the daughter was long-awaited, apparently, the husband felt that he lost his wife to which he was used. He felt unnecessary, looking for consolation with friends. She, in turn, needed his help and did not expect such "disappearances." And the fact is that he just needed more time to restruhane from paired relationships to triad. This process is very individual and depends on the characteristics of the person. For both spouses, the behavior of a partner became a surprise. And although now the husband realized her fatherhood and spends a lot of time with his daughter, she cannot forget those resentments that have accumulated from the first months after childbirth. These resentments do not give our heroin to speak normally with their husband. From time to time, she realizes that he behaves wrong, but then everything starts again. She writes that they and her husband spend little time together, as if her husband had time for her daughter, but for her no. Svetlana writes about his jealousy, because it was initially larger in the child, and now it seems to her that the baby is only her "property" and only she can count on bonuses. But Svetlana should be glad that her daughter has such a dad - after all, it has much more chances to grow happy. Everything suggests that this family is now moving from Diada - pair communication - to parent. But at the end of the letter it can be seen that when they went to relax for two weeks, Svetlana learned to communicate with her husband again. This is a difficult period of adaptation. Svetlana should look at her husband as a person who is also hard in this process. At first they adapted for a long time to parents, then they remembered that they were also spouses. They need to try to come up with rituals: how they play threesome and even once a week remain only together. It is important for them to learn how to maintain the balance between marriage and parent.

History № 3.

Alexandra, in marriage for 5 years, raises the son of 2.5 years

First month after childbirth, my husband and I remember very vaguely (it seems, on New Year's Eve, I cut Olivier, shaking the chaise lounge with a crying child). I had problems with breastfeeding, the baby did not sleep, was very restless. The husband was absolutely not ready for such developments of events and to my new state. I was very tired, while worked from home and even soap floors almost every day, "according to books". For some reason, there was no man who would not be a man who would explain the elementary things to me: Sleep along with the child, let's chest on demand, hire the assistant. I was annoyed that my husband does not want to change their usual lifestyle for himself. I just screamed: "I need help !!!" After that, little has changed, but he became more careful to me. By the end of the second month, we learned to live in our chart, and it became quite comfortable. By 6 months he could take himself for 30 minutes - it was a holiday! From 8 months I finally hired a home assistant. But the problems with her husband were still left: we practically did not have sex for six months, since I had physiological problems after childbirth. Second problem - the husband was extremely impatient. When the child shouted, he came into rage! He believed that the child specifically screams to bring it out. He does not understand why the child does not fulfill his teams, because he is older and stronger. At the same time, they play perfectly when both in the spirit, and may have half a day to hold the soul into the soul. In general, by the end of the first year of life, the baby is all beginning to be improved, but we were so hard with each other that we have seriously discussed the divorce several times.

Inna Khamitova:

Alexandra's letter suggests that she is a perfectionism, it is very important for her to do 6 on a 5-point scale. And this is a trap in which many perfectionists fall into. Because in the days only 24 hours, and the birth of a child is a very difficult process, and physically, and emotionally. By virtue of such characteristics of his personality, she was in a high voltage situation and instead of enjoying the child, only negative moments gathered. I think even the fact that the child slept poorly caused by the fact that her tension was transmitted to him. It turns out the more she strained, the more the child felt and became more and more restless. Finally, when the cup of patience was overflowed, Alexander realized that she needed help. She asked about it - and her husband also had to rebuild her schedule. And only then it became easier. They had sexual problems, but she went to the doctor only 6 months after childbirth! What does says that in concerns about the baby Alexander completely forgot about his own needs. They and her husband lived for a long time in a state of a lot of tension, and there was no junction for him, except for scandals. Of course, they really removed them. But here it applies the same rule that in the plane: first put on the mask on yourself, and then on the child. Alexandra had to think more about himself. After all, everything began to improve when she said to himself: Enough. When a child is born, there is a task not only to adapt to parent, but also not to lose marital.

One day my whole family involuntarily took part in curious history, it happened in urban transport. I do not know what I have more caused this story, awkwardness or laughter?

My son, five years old, had a long time at my mom. We finally purchased our apartment, but while they were shut-off in her, the son was in the village. There was no gas yet, on the balcony of the sixth floor, builders have forgotten a barrel with frozen mortar, a balcony door was not closed, the elevator did not work, but they were settled, the glad was their legal sixty square meters, the unfinished was actively eliminated.
They have been equipped, they brought the child. They were born on the day off in the circus, we climb the blame before the Date for the forced removal from parental duties, although, in the village it was quite good. I liked the boy there, when we came to visit him, he diligently hid at our departure, fearing to be taken into city life.

We sit in the tram three on one seat, good, the volume of our young bodies then allowed, the seat opposite was addressed to us. There is a son, looking at the adaptable cityscape outside the window, turns to me: "Grandma ...". Used, nothing terrible, but, looking, women who were sitting on the contrary, became interested in their eyes. "Babushka" was at that time twenty-seven with a little. Husband, thoroughly holding back laughter, turned away to the window. Then the question was facing her husband, but here the relative relations were marked correctly. Our father then worked, the grandson less with him communicated with her grandmother.

Passengers on the contrast are puzzled again: why is this unstaranty still a woman with a young man in this case, mom or mother-in-law? I note that I'm under my husband for four years. The tram, tapping, approached the desired stop, when the husband came to mind the thought to go before the outlined, so it seemed to him, it would be more convenient to move a carriageway. Others, he appeals to me by name, which is being subjected to even more confusion of those who were sitting on the contrary. A woman grandmother, a man, means, not a mother and not mother-in-law, once calls calls, and maybe .... I see, gentle, interest in the eyes is genuine. I am not inclined for your nature, it is not inclined to the cliff, all my life I live with a loaf of public opinion, and my husband, a lover of the drawing, gently takes my hand.

Finally, we finally, but I do not stand, turn around, intrigued passengers are watching the grandmother with grandson and dad with uncertain family relationships. We laugh, and son again: "Grandma, Oh, mom ...." I would have recovered before and women in the front seat calmly continued their way.

While our daughters were small, we had a tradition for the New Year and within ten days after January 1, put in the shoes of the girls put up for the New Year's Christmas tree, small gifts. Usually gifts in the New Year holidays there are many. But if they receive them all in one day - it is not so interesting, it turns out a kind of oversaturation and suggestion with gifts. Children cease them to notice and appreciate, and the gifts received are lying in one (or not one!) Big pile. We began to do differently. For ten days each time, let the small, but the present, mysteriously appeared under the Christmas tree. Therefore, our daughters, waking up in the morning, the first thing was fled to the room with the biggest Christmas tree. And each immediately looked into his shoe. With this family tradition, we even associated with one funny episode, which we still remember and laughing from time to time.

Once, on the next day of the school winter holidays, my husband and I haven't slept, the early morning hour, when for the biggest tree in our house it was necessary to put regular New Year's gifts in the girls' shoes.

Sunday. I jump up, I look at the clock and I understand that my daughters should be about to wake up, and the gifts in the shoes are not yet sublated. I say to my husband: "Volodya, rather, you need gifts to girls in shoes to put!" I get up, I start rumming in the closet in search of gifts of this day. The husband, too, asked, does not really understand what it is necessary to do, but obedient takes gifts and carries under the Christmas tree. Gifts under the Christmas tree, my husband returns, I calm down. Literally a few minutes later, we hear the hottest of children's legs. These are our daughters woke up and grumbled rushed to check their shoes. And here instead of ordinary joyful scrawls and exclamations, we hear the dead silence. What happened? Something is wrong? We go with my husband in the living room, where the main tree of our family is installed. Our girls are sitting having grown up, with horror stratifying their empty shoes. There are no gifts under Christmas tree! Shoes are empty! But gifts there must be necessary. After all, the winter holidays have not yet ended, which means that every day is a new small gift in a shoe. So it was already a few years. In a different way, it simply can not be! Children - in shock, I myself - in confusion, no one understands anything. And here suddenly our dad clarifies the situation. He says: "What if we check out another Christmas tree?" The fact is that we have always loved in each room to put on the Christmas tree, at least in a small, artificial, but without fail on a dressed Christmas tree in each room. So, as it turned out, my husband had fallen on the gifts not under that tree. We all go to another room together and see gifts not at the biggest Christmas tree, as it should have been, but under the middle tree. Children begin to rejoice, and I sigh lightweight.

Then alone I ask my husband, how did it happen. He explains to me that it simply fastened the tree, because Very rushing.

Later, when our daughters have already grown, we told them this case, and we all laughed merrily over it together. Since then, in our family, a joy has been fixed "put not under that tree", which means "to confuse something, to do something wrong, imagining, swelling." Now every time, uttering this phrase, we all laugh together.

Remember the funny cases and stories about your family and tell them to children. Or rather, tell me constantly - for a family dinner, or on the weekend, or on a holiday, or just like that - quiet family evenings ...

Get a simple and cute tradition in your family - telling funny phrases and stories from their childhood. Children simply love to listen about what they were small. From such stories everyone becomes warm, everyone is beginning to smile, and a surprisingly touching and spiritual atmosphere is installed in the house. And it turns out that of these unpaid stories you will have a family tradition of special purpose, and the psychological climate in your family house will become quite special and special.

Alina Bikeeva by books

Comment Article "Funny stories about my family. The story is the first"

Inspired the bottom theme. The 1st story: the affairs of the long-lasting days ... The great-grandmother had two daughters and the son of Nikolai, very younger than sisters. Lived together. Even after the death of great-grandmothers, they were friends with families. All holidays have noted together. And now celebrated 50 years ...

Discussion

I still know the story. Mamina's best friend was a cousin. His father was a military man, constantly moved, son when he grew up too, became a military man, father so wanted and proud of it. The Son of True loved the theater and wanted to the theater school, but did not want to offend the father. By 40, his parents died, he donkey in Moscow, and for some kind of affairs went to the city where his mother was born and grown. And at the same time, some kind of distant relative came there, he began to talk, he told her that they say the career, everything was successful, in the evenings, it happens to the theater amateur studio, I really like it. And the aunt is taking it and say that well, you're great, you are just like your mother, she was a good actress at one time. He was surprised, what actress, Mom teacher of geography worked. No, Aunt said, I mean the one who gave you, your parents took you monthly, and your real mother was actress, in the theater worked, her whole city knew. He then interviewed all relatives they knew or not, turned out to be the majority knew.

On the first story - horror, of course, how tactless people are. Even if a person knows why he is so presenting this story?! They say, washed away from that g ..., in which you found, and the man was good.
And on 4th history - anything happens.) We are adopted by the child, the mark is "re-". But all with new data. The record of the record remained the same, but the name and parents changed.
One "very smart" teacher at school took me with a classmate's girlfriend aside and asked so ingratiating, and why our parents had different names.)))) Also, probably, I thought that the receptions were.))) And everything is simple: Mom married the second time, and the child was decorated for the previous name. But for someone, it is abnormal and "something is wrong here")))
The story was impressed about the blood brother in the next chamber. That's yes, fate !!!
There are such cibbles when you think that parents simply cloned)))

Divorce. Family relationships. Discussion of family issues: love and jealousy, marriage and treason, divorce and alimony, relations between relatives. Unfortunately, this is a very real case of life, with real heroes and real emotional state.

Discussion

02/07/2017 13:43:50, sympathize

The fool is of course the one, but only you consider a fool. You are young and, as life showed, a strong woman. Learn, to work, engage in scientific activities, pull the house, husband and child, while getting only criticism - this is not Hukhry-Mukhra. Evaluate yourself real. Why do you need this man? What does he give you? What do you give him? What are the pros and cons of your life together? Based on the story, except finance and the presence of a male person near (and this is not a fact). Maybe there before you had something that was customary to call the family. But after his return, it is only a joint accommodation and management of the economy. Do not regret the past. It will not return. You became another, and he, too. Not a gift they say that in one river you can not enter twice. Throw to peel through the fact that it is impossible to return. Empty is the case and useless. Show the Little Men to the Same Male an example of power and at the same time fragility, and not smear. You know, psychologists have a good reception that I often helped me in my life: if you can't solve the problem, go for a circle of problems, look at it again and it will cease to be a problem. In this case, look at the sown's eyes that happened. Which of it could grow, stay this man with you, if he heard from the dad to Mom's address one negative. Believe me, nothing good. And so, a person will grow, having respect for you and the concept that pain, any, to hurt.
Good luck to you, forces, patience. Everything will work out if you try hard. Do not moor yourself, nothing to do. What happened, it happened. Live this moment and go beyond.

About freebies. Psychology. Family relationships. Hassed the story. Copy here is entirely, because in the design of the original site there is a mat. Discussion of the issues of the life of a woman in the family, at work, relationships with men.

Discussion

the disconnection of one of the similar drams now lies in a mental hospital, and even with exhaustion.
and the other me personally familiar died from hunger in the 90s

There is no one to help anyone. Always volunteers will have. And to drink how some say here they also need funds or those who will treat

Treason. Family relationships. It is difficult for everything in life, and unfortunately this situations that occurred a few years ago will repeat more than once in other destinies. About treason I remember in a smile. Because it is just such a stage from the family history.

Discussion

here we now have a happy insane, there is a lover, appeared after a while after the treason of her husband ... And what, I also have the right to happiness, but now the husband does not go anywhere ... And I