How to calm down when you're nervous. Defense mechanism or hindrance. Strengthening the nervous system

Chronic nervous tension is a companion of our time. We are constantly nervous and worried about something in our lives: about ourselves and our future, about loved ones, relatives, about children, about work, about money and many others, not always important things. Many anxious thoughts run through your head every day, causing constant stress. Many people are in nervous tension without even realizing it. the real reason your anxiety. Therefore, in this article we will talk about how to calm down when you are very nervous, how to find harmony and inner peace.

Worry and anxiety are a natural, and even useful, tool with which our body informs us about external threats. This is why the fight against stress is often ineffective. Unfortunately, there is no one universal technique or “don’t be nervous” switch. What works great for helping some people stay calm is completely ineffective for others. Therefore, try and choose exactly the method that will help you calm down and not be nervous.

Square breathing exercise

Helps cope with anxiety and excitement, easily move from negative to neutral, calm state. The square breathing technique can be used if you are very nervous before meetings, important negotiations, public speaking, or exams. The exercise is very simple, anyone can do it, and does not require special training, it is performed in 4 steps:

• take a breath and at the same time count to yourself: “one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...” (as is more comfortable)
• hold your breath for the count of one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...
• now exhale to the count of one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...
• now hold your breath again, counting to yourself one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three, one thousand four...

Square breathing pattern: inhale (4 sec) – hold your breath (4 sec) – exhale (4 sec) – hold (4 sec) – repeat from the beginning. Moreover, the duration of inhalation and exhalation can be selected individually, it can be 4 seconds, maybe more - 6-8 seconds, or less, the main thing is that it is comfortable to perform the exercise.

Diaphragmatic breathing

When a person is excited or nervous, his breathing becomes rapid and intermittent (the person breathes through his chest). A little explanation: there are several types of breathing. Most people expand when breathing middle part sternum. This is chest breathing. If breathing is carried out top part sternum – high costal breathing. However, more useful and effective for calming and relaxation is diaphragmatic breathing, that is, breathing with the participation of the diaphragm, breathing with the stomach. In order to calm down and get rid of stress, we take a deep breath, absorbing a large volume of air, and then exhale it slowly. This is called very deep breathing. This will be the case for many effective tool with excitement and nervousness. In order to learn to breathe with your diaphragm, you must adhere to the following recommendations:

1. Lie on your back and place a book on your stomach. You need to breathe so that the book rises with your breath.
2. Sit in a comfortable position, straighten your posture and lower right hand on your stomach, and place your left chest on your chest. Breathe in such a way that only your right hand moves.
3. It is desirable that the inhalation and exhalation be equal in time. To do this, it is most convenient to count the beats of your heart. Inhale 4-6 beats - exhale the same amount.
4. To enhance the effect, you can repeat the affirmation to yourself: “With every breath I relax, with every breath I smile.”

"Byaka-zakalyaka"

The technique is simple, but very effective in combating not only anxiety, but other negative emotions and experiences. It can be classified as art therapy, and it takes from 5 to 15 minutes to complete. Instructions:

• take a pen or pencil, a sheet of blank paper, or better yet several at once, because when strong emotions one may not be enough.
• As a rule, excitement is physically felt in a specific part of the body: in the chest, in the stomach, in the head, in the form of spasms, clamps, or simply vague unpleasant sensations, i.e. you need to determine the localization of your destructive emotion;
• mentally set yourself that all the excitement comes out onto paper through your hands, leaves your body, and never returns; There are no strict recommendations here, everything is done in any form, as you like best;
• you just start moving a pencil or pen across the paper without controlling your movements. If you do everything correctly, your hand itself will begin to draw all sorts of lines, “scribbles”, write out all sorts of pretzels; do it until you feel relief, until you feel that enough is enough (if you have hardened one sheet, feel free to take the next one);
• Next you need to get rid of the drawn “masterpiece” using any in a convenient way: you can tear it into small pieces and flush it down the toilet, you can burn it and scatter the ashes to the wind, crush it, trample it and throw it in the trash, or come up with your own way - the main thing is to get rid of your “negative creation”.
• Enjoy the relief, it usually comes fairly quickly.

This technique is quite universal; it can be used to relieve anxiety, irritation, resentment, worries, and any stress. For a longer lasting effect, you need to repeat it more often.

Contact with water

One of the simplest and available ways calm down, especially if you are very nervous and worried - this is any contact with water. Scientists have long noted that the sound and contemplation of running, running water, the sound of waves calms, relieves fatigue, and promotes deep relaxation. So, if you need to calm down quickly, you need to:

• Drink a glass of plain water in small sips - incredible, but it helps;
• go to the bathroom, turn on the water, hold your hands under running water for as long as possible;
• wash the dishes, the floor, something else;

When you have a little more time:

• take a shower, contrast is most effective;
• take a hydromassage bath, if possible;
• go to the pool, lake, swim (double effect: the calming effect of water + physical activity);
• go out into nature, sit by a stream, by a river, look at the water.
• walk in the rain without an umbrella; It is not suitable for everyone, since there is a danger of catching a cold, but the effect is amazing. Anyone who has accidentally gotten wet in the rain knows that then you come home, and your soul is happy, it’s unclear why, problems fade into the background, just like in childhood, when you got ankle-deep into a puddle, and you’re happy...

During physical activity, the body releases certain chemical substances, which explains the usefulness of physical activity for a person’s mental state. These substances include endorphins. Their action is similar to that of opiates - they dull painful sensations and induce a state of calm and tranquility. Another substance, dopamine, is an antidepressant and is also produced by the body during physical activity. Improvement in psychological well-being due to physical activity is based on a physiological basis, and this is a scientific fact.

The positive effect persists for several more hours after “physical exercise,” or rather, after “after physical exercise.” The most available types motor activity:

• general cleaning of the apartment;
• washing by hand, washing floors, windows;
• dancing;
• yoga class;
• walking, running, cycling.

Meditation

Meditation techniques are the most popular and accessible to master. They have been sufficiently studied from the point of view of relaxation and positive influence on physical and psychological health.

Many people think that meditation takes a lot of time and don't even try it. effective method. Here are some of the shortest and effective meditations, which will help you quickly calm down and not be nervous.

Exercise: Track your own thoughts

Find a quiet place where no one will disturb you, close your eyes. For 5 to 10 minutes, simply observe the thoughts that come to your mind. In this case, the main thing is not to do anything, not to strain (even mentally) - you just need to observe. Allow your thoughts to simply come and go, without any judgment about what is happening. Most likely, there will be complete confusion and chaos in your head, a pile-up of sensations, memories, situations, assessments, your own and other people’s statements. This is fine.

After the first minutes of this exercise, you will notice that your thoughts slow down and you become calmer. At a certain point, you abstract from everything, you become just an observer. After some time, you will begin to notice that small pauses appear between thoughts. During these periods of thoughtlessness, you will be able to feel true peace and tranquility.

Calming reflex technique

This technique was proposed by psychologist Charles Strebel. The author claims that this technique allows you to relax very quickly, with systematic training in 6 seconds. So, the technique itself:

• Focus on what worries you.
• Smile to yourself. This will help relieve tension from the facial muscles.
• Tell yourself: “My body is relaxed and my mind is actively awake.”
• Inhale lightly and calmly.
• As you exhale, relax and lower your lower jaw - if done correctly, the upper and lower teeth should not touch
• Imagine how heaviness and warmth spread throughout your body from head to toe.

“Instant Calm” technique

1. Continuous breathing. Despite the appearance of excitement, continue to breathe calmly, evenly and deeply.
2. Positive facial expression. As soon as you feel yourself starting to get nervous, smile slightly.
3. Appearance. Imagine that you are being lifted by a thread - straighten your chest, stretch your neck, lift your chin.
4. Release a wave of relaxation to tense parts of your body.
5. Soberly assess the situation, tell yourself: “Everything that is happening now is real, and I will find the best solution.”

Meditative breathing: basic exercise

The technique of pure observation of your breathing is simple and effective at the same time, does not require special skills, a state of relaxation and calm occurs quickly, within a few minutes. Close your eyes, get comfortable, and just watch your breath. You should not strain, try to influence the rhythm or depth of breathing - just observe. Concentrate on how the air enters the lungs through the nostrils and then comes out again. Inhale - exhale. This is the most simple technique, applicable in almost any situation. After some time, you will be able to notice how your breathing becomes slower and calmer. The more consciously and carefully you observe your breathing, the faster you will feel calm.

It happens that we are looking for complex ways to improve the quality of your life. And in moments when we are stressed or someone has pissed us off, we begin to actively think about how to calm down. Psychotherapists offer their help, yoga schools offer theirs. But there are ancient methods that can help you get yourself in order much faster than other means that require a lot of time or money. We have prepared 12 ways for you to help yourself calm down and stop being nervous.

Method 1: Get distracted by something

This method of relieving emotional stress is suitable in cases where you are trapped, driven into a corner and cannot escape anywhere. For example, sit at a planning meeting and listen to your boss, internally boiling. You can’t escape, but... Distraction at the same time by contemplating something extraneous, neutral and being carried away by this extraneous thing is the best way not to overthink yourself over trifles.

For example: “What is Masha’s manicure like... I wonder how she did it?”

This only works if you yourself understand the benefits of such a strategy - don’t look at the nasty, don’t listen to the nasty. If you like to fume and get into arguments, that’s your right.

Method 2: Leave the annoying situation (aka the emotional zone)

Did something make you sad at someone else's birthday? On a picnic? You can’t stand some group, public page, page social network? Do you dream of removing an unpleasant person from your friends list?

So, we quickly left the group forever. They banned an argumentative provocateur, a troll, a boor, a fool. Deleted your profile, if that happens.

Quickly call a taxi (don’t squeeze, don’t squeeze), kiss the hostess and rush home - away from the party, away from the barbecue, away from the irritating, emotional zone.

Method 3: Drink some water

This is already the signature recipe of all brilliant therapists who do not sell dietary supplements from pharmaceutical corporations.

A glass of water, drunk slowly, stops everything famous sciences seizures. The first thing they offer a person who has suffered something terrible is a glass of water. Drinking water triggers the body's self-rehabilitation mechanism. Most often, people feel ill for two reasons:

hysteria (sympatho-adrenal crisis in another way),
dehydration of the body that was not noticed in time.
Since we don’t listen to our body and don’t teach healthy lifestyle, we drink tea, coffee and soda all day - we all have dehydration, and you have it too. Go drink a glass of water right now, and then read on.

Method 4: Get involved in an exciting, interesting activity

This method is suitable in a situation where you cannot be “let go.” You need to break the stuckness of chewing “And they, And I, And fuck them all” with something cool, even if it’s stupid and tasteless. Reading a detective story. Computer game. Hunting and gathering. Surveillance and tracking. An attempt to reveal someone's secret. Even by spying and eavesdropping, damn it.

You must be involved in the intrigue, in the detective story, in the rapid development of events, in the hunt, in the game, in courage, in flight. Your ears should lift and your tail should twitch.

You yourself know what can captivate and amuse you. Everyone has their own, individual thing. Just don't get carried away with this surveillance. Don't harm anyone.

Method 5: Physical release

Everyone is familiar with this method firsthand, but, as usual, no one cares. And I remind you once again that rapid physical discharge, which includes:

walking,
- swim,
- general cleaning of the apartment (possibly someone else’s),
- sex,
- destruction of trash,
- work in the garden,

- mopping floors and washing by hand
relaxes twisted muscles and relieves stress and frustration fantastically effectively. General washing by hand even helps to cope with grief - again the advice of the old doctor, which I share with you.

Method 6: Come into contact with water

Washing dishes is a free session of hypno-psychotherapy. The sound of clean running running water relieves our fatigue and takes away with it all the “dirt,” not just household dirt.

In addition to washing dishes, there is a well-known classic: take a bath, take a shower, go to the sauna, go early in the morning or in the evening - swim in the sea, in the river, in the lake, in the spring. Refresh yourself, in short.

Method 7: Positive Reframing of a Stressful Event

So much has been written about positive reframing (including by me) that I don’t want to repeat myself. I'll just give an example:

“It’s so good that it turned out that I won’t go anywhere this summer! I'm finally taking classes in English, for fitness and also for self-development courses! When else would I allow myself such a “useless” luxury? And in the summer there is low season everywhere and there are only discounts around. So I’ll save money too!”

Method 8: It could be worse, it’s even harder for others

Are you not satisfied with the outcome of the event? Imagine that there could have been a worse outcome. Imagine how bad it is for some people around you. If you master this art and stop turning your nose up at this strategy, then you will not need any psychotherapy at all.

Method 9: Laughter kills everything scary and terribly important

Ridiculing, reducing, vulgarizing something inflated and important - old recipe human culture starting from the Neolithic. Thanks to grandfather Bakhtin for his term “carnival-laughter culture.” Read it, take an interest.

Or watch one episode about the adventures of SpongeBob Square Pants. When he was terrified of speaking at a school seminar, a smart squirrel gave him super glasses. Wearing these glasses, SpongeBob saw all the students and the teacher... in their underpants. That was funny! True, out of laughter, he never read out his report. And what kind of panties did the teacher have... Mmm...

Method 10: Counting to 10

Just read until ten. Slowly. Controlling your inhalations and exhalations. To myself, not out loud. This is the recommendation of doctors and sports trainers.

Method 11: Cry

Crying relieves stress. Those that leave the body with tear fluid toxic substances, which are formed under the influence of stress hormones. If you can’t cry about your own things, come up with a pitiful topic and specifically cry over it.

Method 12: Verbalize everything that’s on your heart

Pronunciation or verbalization - putting a vague “something” into clear words. However, great thing. Or better yet, write it all down on paper, write a long letter. Just don't send it anywhere.Keep these methods for yourself and use them to calm yourself.

Hello everyone, friends!

In this article you will learn how to stop constantly being nervous about any reason, about little things, trifles, at work and in everyday life at home. The methods described below will help you calm down and feel good.

Many people worry very often and strongly about various reasons: circumstances, events and problems that arise in their path. And it's not strange!

But at the same time Negative influence Nerves can have a huge impact on the body, leading to stomach ulcers, stroke and other serious diseases of internal organs.

And when old problems and difficulties are solved, a person begins to worry about others, which saves him from the full joy of life. And therefore you need to learn and control yourself in order to avoid the possibility of getting nervous about any reason.

Today you will learn not only how not to be nervous or stop doing it for a while, but also how to remove and eliminate this state in yourself as much as possible, so that in any difficult situation remain morally stable.

How to finally stop being nervous about anything?

1. Solve problems as they arise.

No matter how trivial this phrase may sound. I guarantee 100% that you do not use it all the time. Problems that need to be solved are those that require it in this moment otherwise you will simply burst apart! Never at any time have attempts to solve everything at once brought any results.

If you think about all the past troubles, defeats, and the fact that something might happen somewhere someday and worry too much about it, trying to influence, then you will only worsen your emotional state. Something has happened, there is no need to sit and be nervous, but it is better to concentrate your attention on how you can solve it.

2. Live in today's compartment.

There is no need to worry about what was and what will be. What is important is what will happen at this moment. I'm not saying you have to live one day at a time (although happy people that’s what they do), of course you need to make plans and strive to achieve them, but that’s not what we’re talking about now.

It is important to understand so as not to destroy your nerve cells, you need to give as much as possible today, and live it usefully and efficiently for yourself and those around you. And then there will be no reason to worry.

3. Collect all the facts and analyze them.

Each of us is nervous for our own specific reasons, in order to eliminate this, write down on a separate sheet of paper all the sources of anxiety, everything that worries you and gives rise to this feeling. After compiling detailed list analyze each item separately. Find the causes and roots of your anxiety.

And when you have found it, immediately begin to act towards solving the problem that makes you nervous, unless of course you can personally or indirectly influence them... If not, then...

4. Accept the inevitable.

It is also possible that there will be a situation, an event, an incident that you cannot influence in any way. And in this case, you just need to accept the situation as a given, as something that cannot be changed in any way.

For example, if you kept your money in dollars, and its value fell sharply, then unfortunately you will not be able to greatly influence it to rapidly increase in price, because this depends on a huge number of factors.

Or, for example, at the university you tried to pass the test with a 5, but you passed with a 4 and a retake was no longer possible, it was the last day. Or lightning struck your lawn at the dacha and completely destroyed your apple tree. Yes, all this is not pleasant, but nothing can be changed. The only way saving your nerves means accepting what has already happened or will happen as inevitable.

Remember: “If the water has flowed away, then it is no longer possible to grind grain with its help.”

5. Determine what the worst thing could be.

In a situation where it is difficult to somehow control yourself and not be nervous at all about what might happen, the best method will determine what could happen in the worst case scenario. And when you understand and accept it, most likely it will not be so bad and catastrophic.

For example, when I was still 19 years old, I first earned money that was quite serious for me at that time and decided to invest it in business.

And I understood the risk of my investments, and yet I decided (the amount was very significant for me, I will not disclose it, but I will say, to make it clear, I could live for 1 year without working and without denying myself anything).

And at that moment I said to myself: “The worst that can happen is that I will lose this money.” I invested, and the investment did not pay off, more than I lost it all. But if I had walked around and been nervous, it certainly wouldn’t have made me feel any better. And this technique helped me a lot to prevent this from happening. I advise you to use it too.

By the way, about that. I’ll write about how to control myself soon separate article and video, therefore, I advise you if you want to learn how to do this all the time.

6. Get busy.

Any task that is interesting, entertaining, or something that may need to be done around the house, for example, is good for calming and distracting from a stressful situation. If you find yourself in one, switch to some activity and it will help you stop being nervous.

7. Don't worry about other people's opinions.

Believe me, you shouldn't do this. Many people worry about what others will think of them. But in fact, the majority don’t care about you, they have enough worries of their own to think about you. So you can do what you want, within reason, of course. By the way, this helps yourself a lot, so use it and don’t worry.

8. Don't expect others to meet your expectations.

Often parents, relatives, friends, acquaintances, couples expect from each other exactly what they would like, those qualities that do not exist, those actions. which are not accomplished. In general, you don’t need to be angry with them because they are not what you would like them to be. After all, we are all different and you are not perfect either.

You shouldn’t find fault with little things and worry about the fact that something is wrong in a person, because you can’t change an adult... if... by the way, this is in a separate article... so if you want to find out how to make a person be like You want or do what you need, then stay tuned so as not to miss this and other interesting articles.

9. Don’t invent your own problem.

It happens that, in anticipation of some event, we begin to use our imagination strongly, overthink ourselves about what could happen, come up with the worst options and begin to get very nervous about them.

If you really can’t change this in any way, then stop worrying (remember the first tips). You have already done everything to get the result, or even not everything. then the action is completed! What will happen. it will be. You need to understand this and relax.

10. Accept that you are not perfect.

If you don’t like yourself, then this is only a disadvantage for you, because you will always find flaws in yourself - in height, weight, appearance, intelligence, character, etc. But you shouldn’t worry about this, because no one is perfect, neither you nor I, you need to agree and accept.

At the same time, no one forbids you to improve yourself, develop, improve external physical data and internal qualities.

Of course, this is not all the advice that I would like to give, and therefore in the following articles I will continue to talk about how to stop worrying, worrying and start living fully without worries, at least 10 more tips that you should learn about and that you They will also help, it’s already in my head.

I used to be very worried that before every serious event or performance I was so nervous that I would either fail everything, or forget something, say it in the wrong tone, or present it so brightly. People worry before a meeting, when applying for a job, when there is no response close person etc. You can’t list all the situations. However, universal methods of restoring balance exist.

When a person is nervous, he misses important events, worrying about little things. At this time he has:

• mental activity and ability to focus decrease;
• cognitive deterioration (which makes you even more nervous - a vicious circle);
• control over the situation is lost;
• performance decreases, fatigue increases, fatigue sets in.

Work on your life plan. This allows you to pay attention to important events, rather than worry about every little thing. Constantly remind yourself of your main goals and plans. Carry the list with you.

Causes of anxiety

First of all, you need to explain the reasons for concern, sort them out point by point. Determine not only the situation and your own, but also internal factors. For example, the excitement before public speaking- a consequence of poor preparation or fear of being ridiculed, shyness, ignorance of the topic.

A nervous state is usually accompanied by anxiety and... This is the body's natural reaction to a threat. It remains to be seen whether the threat is real. In the case of the previous example, think about what would happen if you made a mistake or someone didn't accept your presentation. Is it so dangerous and important for life?

But anxiety before flying on an airplane is completely justified. The potential threat always exists. But in this case, nothing depends on you, so you just need to accept all possible options.

So, identify specific emotions and feelings, the cause of anxiety, its object. Determine the influence of external and internal factors, your participation in the situation.

What to do

There is no need to deny and repeat “I am calm.” Accept, acknowledge the fact of nervous tension. After acceptance and analysis, proceed to active actions:

1. Inhale and exhale. Popular, simple and truly effective advice. relieve tension, restore blood flow and hormonal levels. Inhale deeply, hold your breath and exhale slowly. Concentrate on your breathing. Body and mind are one. Once you feel in control of your breathing, it will be easier to gain control of your thoughts. Try the “Five-Three” technique. Inhale for five counts, hold for three, exhale for five, hold for three. So ten times. Breathe with your stomach: inhale, inflate, exhale, draw in. Concentrate on counting and abdominal movements, this will distract you from anxious thoughts. Monitor your well-being. Breathing techniques are prohibited for colds and respiratory diseases.
2. Think about pleasant things. Remember the most delicious product that you ate, the most melodic music, the most beautiful picture, the most tender hugs. Remember the situation of success. They happen to any person, people just sometimes forget about it. Regain your positive attitude and self-confidence.
3. Nervous tension is... Calms the rise in blood glucose. To do this, eat something sweet or drink coffee. A quick surge of glucose will restore energy and physical strength body, will fill it with hormones of joy. You can’t systematically eat away stress, but in some situations, chocolate is a cure.
4. Tapping your fingers on the table, walking from corner to corner, rocking on your toes are the body’s subconscious attempts to calm down. What if we come up with the same thing, but more conscious and useful? Find an interesting but monotonous activity: someone embroiders, someone does crossword puzzles, or washes the dishes. Come up with your own ways to different cases: at home, at work, on the street.
5. The previous method is not suitable for everyone. If it didn’t help you, then try, on the contrary, to be active: do push-ups, run, jump, wave your arms, stomp your feet, curse. In a moment of stress internal resources are mobilizing. Energy is formed that asks for release. The languor that we experience is unspent power. Let her out. When stressed, physical strength is mobilized, mental processes fade into the background. Calm your body to bring your mind back.
6. Control your mind through your body. Forbid yourself from fiddling with your clothes, slouching, or looking at your feet. Straighten your back, speak loudly and confidently, look straight ahead, demonstrate confidence and calm.
7. Discount the situation. Will this be important in a month, a year? Does this affect your health, success, well-being? But stress and anxiety greatly affect health. Remember something disturbing from the past right now. Does this matter now? If the result had been different then, would it have significantly changed the current state of affairs? Were you able to clearly remember what you were worried about?
8. Keep a worry diary. Describe your experiences and see what comes true. You'll be surprised how much time and effort you spend coming up with ideas. Better get busy, fantasy is useful there.
9. Strengthen your nervous system. What is needed for this: healthy sleep, good nutrition, regular physical exercise, taking vitamins, hobbies, favorite work, meditation or yoga.
10. Read D. Carnegie’s book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.”

Make it a rule to sketch your fears and experiences. It is not necessary to have the relevant skills. Portray your fear (as best you can), look at it, get to know it, accept it. Now draw a funny hat or yourself next to it in the form of a knight. Perhaps your fear will take the form specific person. Or yourself. Why not?

Sometimes the causes of anxiety lie very deep, in childhood. Having once been rejected, a person is afraid of this all his life, and therefore often worries and worries. To eliminate it, visit a psychotherapist, as in this case advice will not help.

Nervousness as a personality trait

Psychology knows many types of qualifications. According to one of them (author Heymans - Le Senne), there is nervous type. It is characterized by emotionality, low activity and primacy. This kind of person:

• reacts violently to any little things, takes everything to heart;
• thinks for a long time before acting;
• easily succumbs to emotions, but just as quickly forgets about them (mood instability).

The nervous type lives by desires and impressions. He does not like boredom and monotony. If this is your case, then advice with monotonous actions will not work. On the contrary, you need to find numerous sources of different emotions. Main feature the thing we need to fight is suspicion.

The author of another classification, Karl Leonhard, singled out. He is characterized by uncertainty in his own actions, distrust of himself, suspiciousness, timidity, indecisiveness, fear of mistakes, an overly expressed sense of responsibility, and self-criticism.

Are you prone to fits of rage? Do you curse everything, kick things and shout obscenities, scaring away all the people around you? Do you ever feel like your blood is boiling when you're stuck in traffic, receive relatively minor bad news, or simply hear something you didn't want to hear? If this is the case, then you need to find a way to manage your anger before it controls your life. Dealing with chronic rage isn't easy, so it's important to learn how to calm down in the moment and in the long term.

Steps

Calm down in moments of anger

Go for a walk. Walking away from the situation helps you calm down and think things through. It's even better if you can go for a walk in nature, where you can take your mind off the problem and enjoy the beauty of the world around you. Walking will help you burn off some of it instantly. negative energy and move away from the question. If you're having a heated argument, there's nothing wrong with saying, “I'd better go for a walk.”

Resist the first impulse. If you are prone to fits of anger, then it is likely that your first impulse will not be very good. You might want to kick your car, punch a wall, or even yell at someone. Instead, ask yourself if this would be a good and productive action, and stop yourself if necessary. Stop for a moment to understand how you really should act, and think about what will best calm you down.

• Your first impulse can often be destructive and completely unreasonable. Don't make things worse for yourself by giving in to him.

1. Dance. You might think that the last thing you want to do when you're angry is dance, and that's exactly why you should do it. If you feel angry, turn on your favorite uptempo tune and start dancing and singing along loudly. This way, an external stimulus will distract you from negative thoughts.

   • If this method works for you, you can even choose a specific song to play whenever you feel angry.

2. Do a deep breathing exercise. Sit up straight in your chair. Inhale slowly through your nose, stretching it into 6 counts. Then exhale for a count of 8 or 9. Pause and repeat 10 more times.

   • Try to concentrate on your breathing, getting rid of thoughts about what upset you.

3. Count down from fifty. If you start saying the numbers out loud or even in a whisper, you can instantly calm yourself. Try doing nothing during this time so that the only thing you have to worry about is the numbers. Focusing on this simple and specific task will prevent you from becoming overwhelmed with anger and will force you to think about the problem with a fresh mind.

   • If you're still angry, repeat the exercise or even start counting down from 100.

4. Meditate. Meditation allows you to control your emotions. If you feel like you can't control yourself, help yourself with meditation. Try to physically distance yourself from the problem: go outside, onto the stairs, or even to the restroom.

   • Take slow, deep breaths. This will slow down your heart rate. The breaths should be deep enough to allow your belly to expand and contract.
   • Imagine how golden light fills your body with every breath, and your mind relaxes. As you exhale, imagine something black and dirty leaving your body.
   • If you train yourself to meditate every morning, even when you're not angry, you'll feel more calm overall.

5. Imagine something pleasant. Close your eyes and imagine your favorite place in the world, be it the beach you visited every summer as a child, or beautiful lake that you still remember from school days. It can also be an image of a place where you have never been before - a forest, a field of flowers or a beautiful panorama. Choose a place that instantly makes you feel calmer and more peaceful, and you will notice that your breathing normalizes.

   • Focus on every detail. The more details you see, the easier it is for you to distance yourself from angry thoughts.

6. Listen to calm music. Relaxing with your favorite performers will help you calm down and lift your spirits. Music has been proven to make us feel a certain way and bring back memories. It can calm angry or anxious people, even if they don't know where the anxiety is coming from.

   • Classical music and jazz are especially helpful in this regard, but you should find what works for you.

7. Turn on positive thoughts. You will be able to suppress your anger if you focus your attention on positive thoughts. Close your eyes, banish all the negative thoughts that come to your mind and think of at least three positive things. Positive thoughts can be positive aspects of a situation you're worried about, or simply thoughts about something else that you're looking forward to or that makes you feel happy. Here are some examples of positive settings:

   • This will pass.
   • I can bear it.
   • Difficult situations are opportunities for development.
   • I won't be angry forever, this is just a temporary feeling.

8. Learn to communicate productively. In a fit of anger, you may blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind, which will make you even angrier and anger your interlocutor. As a result, the situation will look much worse than it is. If something makes you angry, think about what made you angry, and then express your feelings.

9. Know when to ask for help. Many people can cope with anger on their own, but you may need professional help if:

   • Little things make you angry.
   • When you are angry, you behave aggressively: scream, scream, fight.
   • The problem is chronic and keeps recurring.

10. Join an anger management program. Such programs are quite effective. They help people understand the nature of anger, develop strategies for managing it, and learn to control their emotions. There are many options for such programs, and you can choose what suits you.

    • In your area, there may be individual classes for people of a certain age, profession or life circumstances.
    • To choose a program, look for information about such programs in your city on the Internet. Please clarify your request if you are interested in any specific topic.
    • You can also ask a doctor or psychotherapist to recommend such programs there.

11. Find the right therapist. The best way to remain calm is to understand where the cause of anger lies. A therapist can teach you relaxation techniques that you can use in situations that trigger your anger. Your therapist will help you learn to control and express your emotions. In addition, a therapist who specializes in issues from the past (such as parental neglect or childhood abuse) can help reduce anger caused by past events.

    • There are organizations that provide psychological assistance for free. For example, you can get it.