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Miscalculation memorial days

*the first day is considered the day of death

How to behave at the funeral of loved ones

February 20, 2018

Sooner or later, a person faces the death of relatives, close friends, colleagues. A funeral is not just the process of burying a coffin with the deceased in the ground, but an entire ritual that requires strict adherence to certain rules.
Seeing off the deceased in last way cause many people panic fear and even horror. And this is understandable, because the mourning procedure is shrouded in numerous mysterious and mystical rules and signs.
Elderly people believe that mistakes made during a funeral can doom the soul of the deceased to suffering, as well as bring grief to the living. That is why every person should know how to behave correctly at a funeral and how to avoid the most common mistakes.

Behavior at a funeral

In most cases, the funeral ceremony takes place on the second or third day after the person's death. Before this, the body of the deceased must be prepared. Main stages of the preparatory process:

  • ablution;
  • changing clothes;
  • funeral lithium;
  • funeral service

The deceased must be washed clean water, then wipe dry. This is done so that a person gets to heaven perfectly clean. This is followed by changing clothes - the deceased is dressed in new, smart clothes.

An obligatory part of an Orthodox funeral is a funeral lithium and funeral service. Approximately 1-2 hours before the body of the deceased is removed from the premises, the priest conducts a funeral service and sprinkles the deceased with holy water. The funeral service is held immediately before the burial and consists of several chants and prayers. It is believed that only after this the deceased is ready to appear before God.

How to behave at a relative's funeral

How to behave at a funeral loved one? This question often arises for people who have not attended farewell ceremonies for a long time. This period is the most difficult for close relatives, since they face not only great grief, but also by organizing the burial of the deceased. They need to contact the relevant authorities and obtain a death certificate.
Fortunately, today there is great amount funeral services that will take care of all stages of preparation for the funeral, eliminating this need for relatives. Ritual service is organizing not only the farewell ceremony, but also the memorial dinner.

Important rules to follow when burying a relative:

  1. One of the relatives or friends must remain near the coffin with the deceased; the deceased should not be left alone in the room.
  2. After the death of a person, it is necessary to cover all the mirrors with thick fabric - it is believed that the soul of the deceased can fall into the looking glass.
  3. Chairs or other pieces of furniture on which the coffin rested should be turned upside down and left in that position for 24 hours after the funeral.
  4. The water with which the deceased was washed should be poured out in a deserted, deserted place.
  5. A comb, soap and other items that were used to wash the deceased must be placed in the coffin.

Close relatives must wear exclusively black clothes and shoes to the funeral ceremony. Women are required to cover their hair with black scarves. Traditionally, during a funeral, close relatives should be on the left side of the coffin, and friends and acquaintances should be on the right. After the funeral ceremony, relatives are the first to present wreaths and flowers, and only after them do others present.

How to behave at the funeral of a loved one


When going to a funeral, you should pay special attention to your clothing. The best option things will become traditional black, which has long been a symbol of mourning and grief. Black can be replaced with other dark shades - brown, blue, green.

Of course, a funeral ceremony is not the most the best place for bright colors, deep necklines, high slits or short skirts. Such clothing will be offensive to the relatives of the deceased. Similar restrictions apply to makeup, which should be as natural and neutral as possible.
It is customary to come to a funeral with a bouquet of fresh flowers, which should be even number or a wreath with a mourning ribbon. It is imperative to approach the loved ones and relatives of the deceased and express condolences.

During the funeral, it is prohibited to talk loudly, laugh or discuss anyone around you. If a relative of the deceased or another person becomes ill, it is imperative to support him and provide assistance. Therefore, it is best to have a few extra handkerchiefs and a sedative with you.

When answering the question of how to behave during a funeral, you should remember that organizing a farewell ceremony falls on the shoulders of close relatives and friends of the deceased. Therefore, it would be right to help with the organization of the funeral, including providing all possible financial assistance.

How to behave at your mother's funeral

The death of a mother is a difficult loss for children, regardless of their age. But children need not only to experience the bitterness of loss, but also to organize a farewell to their mother. Traditionally, farewell is divided into three main stages:

  • preparation for the funeral ceremony;
  • funeral;

Children can organize their mother’s funeral on their own or seek help from a funeral agency. Relatives and friends are informed about the date and time of burial by telephone.
The basic rules for holding a parent's funeral are no different from a regular funeral ceremony. Before taking the coffin out of the house, it is best to ask one of your relatives to take ammonia, validol or another sedative with them.

After the mother’s funeral, it is the children who invite everyone gathered to a funeral dinner, having previously taken care of the availability of the necessary transport. After lunch, children can pass food from the table to relatives and friends who were not present at the funeral so that they honor the memory of the deceased.

How to behave at a friend's funeral

Relatives send news of a person’s death by telephone or mail. In case of death close friend It is believed that you can come to a funeral without notification, because grieving relatives could simply forget about one of their friends.

After arriving at the house of a deceased friend, you must definitely approach his relatives and express condolences, if desired, hug him and offer your help. A few rules of conduct at a friend's funeral:

  1. During the funeral ceremony, you must turn off your mobile phone.
  2. It is forbidden to shout or talk loudly.
  3. If desired, before the burial, you can say a few good things farewell words about the deceased.
  4. You should not hold back your tears - if you want to cry, you can give free rein to your feelings at the funeral.
  5. During the farewell ceremony, you cannot consume alcohol or any food.

The organizers of the funeral ceremony may ask a friend of the deceased to carry the coffin lid - in no case should you refuse, as this is considered disrespect for the deceased and his family.

Behavior at a funeral in a cemetery

There are several rules of behavior at the cemetery that must be observed during the farewell procession. For example, every person knows that it is strictly forbidden to cross the road on the street funeral procession. This is considered a harbinger of a bad event.

The coffin lid should only be hammered in the cemetery, but under no circumstances in the courtyard of the house. This threatens the death of another family member. For the same reason, it is forbidden to dig a grave that is too large.

It is not recommended to walk in front of the coffin, which is also considered bad sign. Relatives are prohibited from carrying the coffin lid; only friends, acquaintances and colleagues of the deceased can do this. You can enter the cemetery through a gate, but you can also exit through the gate.

Under no circumstances should you put coins, photographs or any other things into the coffin with the deceased. It is believed that this way dead a person can “draw” anyone from the living to himself. Before burial, the ropes with which they were tied must be removed from the hands and feet of the deceased, and then placed in a coffin. After the funeral, a memorial dinner is required.

Proper behavior during a funeral dinner

When answering the question of how to behave at a wake after a funeral, you need to remember that regardless of the status of the deceased person, the dinner should be as modest and restrained as possible, since it is a tribute to the memory of the deceased, and not ceremonial event. For the same reason, a wake should not be held in an expensive restaurant.
One of the closest relatives invites those gathered to the funeral dinner on behalf of the entire family. As a rule, the spouse of the deceased person is at the head of the table, with relatives, friends and colleagues on the sides.

Special attention is paid to table setting - it is best to use a plain tablecloth and tableware, without bright ornaments. Traditionally, during a funeral dinner, forks and knives are not used, only spoons. For this reason, instead of bread, pies or soft rolls that can be broken with your hands are served on the table.

Before starting the meal, the head of the family says funeral speech about the deceased. Among the dishes that must be present at a funeral dinner are:


The issue regarding alcoholic beverages is decided by the relatives of the deceased independently. It should be remembered that a funeral dinner is not a celebration; only simple, modest dishes should be present at it.

Signs at a funeral

There are special signs during a funeral that every person who comes to the funeral ceremony should know about. Old people claim that signs associated with funerals must be observed, as they can lead to disaster if not followed.

  1. Clothes for burial must be new and clean.
  2. The shoes of the deceased must be soft and have backs; they cannot be buried in sandals.
  3. The deceased must have a funeral service in the church.
  4. If a person dies in a hospital, he must be brought to his home before burial.
  5. After the funeral car leaves the yard, the floors in the house must be swept and washed, but not for relatives.
  6. The broom and other accessories used for cleaning must be thrown away in a deserted place.
  7. Children should attend the funeral ceremony only if absolutely necessary.
  8. Cats, dogs or any other animals should not be allowed into the room with the deceased.
  9. The handkerchiefs used to wipe away tears should be thrown into the grave.
  10. You need to be careful not to leave your belongings in the cemetery.

Signs in the cemetery must be observed, because this will help to avoid many troubles, especially if the person is superstitious.

Pregnant woman at a funeral


For many centuries there has been a belief that Pregnant women are prohibited from attending funerals. Mystical explanation of this rule due to the fact that pregnancy is the period of birth of a new life, and death is the time of leaving this world.

Plus the pregnant woman gets a huge load negative emotions during the funeral ceremony, which carries serious danger for the growth and development of the child.

What should you not do at a funeral?


Signs on the day of the funeral indicate what neither relatives nor friends of the deceased should do. It is strictly prohibited:

  • when taking the coffin out of the house, look in a mirror or window;
  • until the 40th day, distribute the belongings of the deceased;
  • flowers should never be taken from a cemetery or the house of the deceased;
  • While the coffin with the deceased is in the house, you cannot sweep;
  • After burial, you cannot drink alcohol in the cemetery.

A funeral is a whole ritual that requires strict adherence to special rules of conduct. They allow you to conduct with all honors and respect loved one on the last journey.

Any person at least once in his life is faced with the need to organize a funeral for someone. Each of us must be ready to take on such a difficult mission as burying a person. Procedure and general scheme registration of all necessary documents especially for you in our article.

What to do if a person dies?

In the event of a person's death, the first thing to do is call a doctor. The order of necessary actions when a person dies due to natural causes is as follows: first try to personally assess the condition of the supposed deceased, and then you should call a doctor from the clinic to establish the fact of death. Any ambulance team also has the authority to die and issue appropriate certificates. Attention: if you have even the slightest hope that the person is still alive, when calling doctors, give the reason “the patient is unconscious.” In this case ambulance will arrive faster, most likely, experienced specialists who can carry out

Having stated medical death, doctors hand over the relevant document to the relatives. Doctors are also required to arrange for the body to be delivered to the morgue and call the police. Accordingly, the answer to the question: “What to do immediately after the death of a person?” - like this: first of all, call a doctor.

Obtaining a death certificate

Depending on the circumstances under which the person died, the doctor who established the fact of death sends the body to the morgue for storage until the funeral or a forensic medical examination. A pathological examination is mandatory if the cause of death is murder or personal injury. In case of natural death, an autopsy is usually not ordered or this issue is discussed with the next of kin of the deceased. A death certificate is issued the next day after the fact of death is established. To obtain it, you must contact the registry office at the place of registration of the deceased with his passport and medical certificate.

But what to do if death occurred under unusual or criminal circumstances, how to bury a person? The procedure in such a situation may change slightly. Relatives will be able to receive a body for burial and a death certificate only with permission from the prosecutor's office. This document is issued after the cause of death has been established and all necessary research has been carried out.

Ritual agents and services

Very often, almost simultaneously with the doctors called to recognize the fact of death, funeral service employees arrive. Such ritual agents are often called “black” and openly criticized for high prices and excessive intrusiveness. It's difficult to stay calm immediately after the death of a loved one, but try to be as calm as possible. You are not obligated to agree to an agency employee's proposals just because he has already knocked on your door. Moreover, you can simply not start negotiations with a specialist whom you did not call.

Do you need the help of specialized agencies in organizing a funeral? This is an individual question. Firms working in this area can really take on all the troubles. Only you will have to pay for their services separately. If you want to avoid unnecessary expenses and you have enough strength to do everything yourself, you can do without cooperation with funeral companies. We hope that the instructions for the first steps when a person has died, and the tips for organizing a funeral collected in our article, will help you with this.

Funeral arrangements

Find the strength within yourself to notify all those closest to you about the person’s death as soon as possible. You should also promptly contact relatives from other cities or on business trips. Arranging a funeral begins with choosing a burial method and purchasing a plot in a cemetery/space in a columbarium. This should be done as soon as the day and time the body is released is known. The issue of conducting various funeral rites should be delicately discussed with the immediate family of the deceased. If you are planning to organize a funeral according to Christian traditions, you can contact the church directly or a specific priest with the question: “How to bury a person?”

It is better to write down the procedure on the day of farewell for yourself on paper. It is necessary to prepare clothes for the deceased in advance and take them to the morgue. There, if desired, you can order mummification and make-up services. A coffin and the necessary ritual accessories are purchased separately; you should also take care of organizing the transportation of the deceased and ordering transport for the funeral. According to old traditions, the deceased must spend the night in his home or church. Today, many people refuse to perform such rituals and, after taking the deceased from the morgue, they take him to the funeral service in the temple or directly to the cemetery/crematorium.

Is it necessary to organize a funeral?

Planning a farewell to the deceased should be based on the specifics of the current situation and the traditions familiar to your family. Try to decide at the initial stages of organizing a funeral how many people will accompany the deceased on his last journey. In such a situation, it is not customary to persistently invite someone or prohibit them from coming. The relatives of the deceased and friends are informed about the date and time of the funeral. It is appropriate to inform your work colleagues as well. In our country it is customary to organize a funeral. This is a lunch organized at the deceased's home or cafe/restaurant, which is held immediately after the burial. During the meal, the deceased is remembered in every possible way and a number of rituals are performed. It is not customary to give up completely. In the company of several close relatives, it would be more appropriate to arrange a symbolic wake. For example, just have lunch together, without organizing a magnificent multi-hour feast and performing only the most important rituals.

How to bury a person: procedure in Moscow to receive social benefits

Immediately after death close relative few people think about financial side question. And yet, within six months after these events, the person involved in organizing the funeral must submit documents to receive This payment is made by the employing organization for employed persons, Pension Fund for pensioners or authorities social protection for the unemployed and minors. If a serviceman or law enforcement officer dies, relatives will not have to think about how to bury the person. The procedure in this case changes, and funeral arrangements should begin by contacting the department where the deceased served/was employed. To receive funeral compensation for the death of civilians, you should contact the appropriate organization with the collected package of documents. You can apply for benefits if you have a death certificate in hand, work book and the applicant's passport.

Sooner or later, every person faces such a sad event as a funeral. Of course, you can dream that no one will ever die, but this simply does not happen. And there are a lot of all kinds of signs and superstitions associated with this event that must be observed. After all, if you do something wrong, you may soon encounter grief again.

Famous signs about the dead

The dead man looks with one eye - looking for a companion. Signs at a funeral are especially important, so they must be observed especially carefully. When the dead person's eyes are closed, you need to be careful and make sure that both eyes are completely closed. If one eye remains even slightly open, then the one on whom the gaze falls will follow.

If a girl dies, they dress her in all her wedding clothes.. A woman’s direct destiny is to become a wife and mother. If the girl died in at a young age and before she has time to get married, she becomes the bride of God. And she must appear before him precisely in wedding dress. That's why young girls are buried in a wedding dress.

Relatives do not carry the coffin so that the deceased does not think that his death is welcome. This sign actually sounds a little different. Relatives should not carry the coffin of the deceased in order not to follow. As they say, blood attracts blood. But for those who are not related by blood to the deceased, nothing will happen. But there is a warning for them too. Those who carry the coffin are required to tie a new towel on their arm. It is believed that in this way the deceased himself thanks these people for the tribute of respect shown.

When a person dies in the house, all mirrors are covered with thick cloth for forty days.. This is not even a sign, but a rule that must be strictly observed. The fact is that the mirror is a kind of door between our world and the astral one. But a mirror can also serve as a trap for a dead person. It is believed that the dead do not immediately leave this world. They walk next to us, watch how we worry, listen to what we say. Only on the fortieth day does the soul go to heaven. Old people say that if a dead person accidentally looks into a mirror, he will be captured and leave without help. knowledgeable person won't be able to anymore. To prevent this from happening, so that a person’s soul can calmly pass into another world, the mirrors are covered. And only after the fortieth day can the covers be removed.

The dead man's measure is placed with him. You cannot leave things in the house that came into contact with a deceased person. Therefore, both the measurement that was taken for the coffin and the ropes that tied the hands and feet of the deceased must be placed in the coffin. Of course, there are rituals in magic that use ropes from a dead person. Such things are not given away voluntarily, but a witch can steal these things. Grief-stricken relatives are unlikely to be able to keep track of everything, but good acquaintances or close friends should ensure that no one can steal these things.

Why do omens come true at funerals?

After removing the deceased, they throw away the old broom and wood chips from the coffin. After the coffin is taken out of the house, the last person to leave the house sweeps and washes the floors after the deceased. And they sweep the floors and wash them only from the threshold into the room. But usually all this is done the other way around. After the floors have been washed, the mop used to scrub the floor and the rag must be taken out of the house and thrown away. You cannot leave these things in the house, otherwise very soon someone will go after the deceased.

The comb used to comb the deceased is either thrown into the river or placed in the coffin.. The fact is that a comb used to comb is considered unclean. It is no longer possible to wash it off or reprimand her. If there is a river near you, then the best solution is to throw it into the river. You cannot throw it into the lake, the water must be running. They do this so that the feeling of death leaves your home sooner, so that new death don't expect in soon, and to make it easier for your soul to survive the loss. After all, it is known that the living continue to be killed for a long time because of the loved ones who have left them. If there is no river nearby, then it is enough to put the comb in the coffin. True, this will not help you get rid of mental anguish. But most importantly, it is necessary to ensure that one of the unintelligent children does not take such a comb and comb their hair. It is very important.

A handful of earth into the grave and the ghost will not frighten. Everyone knows about the tradition that before burying a dead person, you need to throw a handful of earth on the lid of his coffin. But not everyone knows why this is done. People say that if a person does not throw a handful of earth, the dead person will find weakness and will start to scare you at night. Whether this is true or not needs to be verified. But who would want to arrange such a check?

A funeral procession past the windows - wake up everyone who sleeps in the house. This sign should be taken especially carefully. Indeed, it is popularly believed that if you pass a house coming funeral procession , and someone is sleeping in the house, then the soul of the deceased can take with it the one who is sleeping. Therefore, it is imperative to wake up everyone sleeping in the house, so that God forbid you lose a person. You shouldn’t even feel sorry at such moments small child. It’s better to let him cry a little because he was woken up at the wrong time, than for something irreparable to happen to him later.

Don’t cross the road before a funeral procession - if a person dies of an illness, you will take that illness upon yourself . People really believe that you cannot cross the road in front of a coffin. Even if you are late, it is better to get a reprimand from your superiors than to take such problems on your own head. A person who does not know this or does not want to understand will definitely cause problems. The worst thing is that he will not only deprive himself of the opportunity to live his life the way he wants, but will also make his family and friends unhappy.

Signs at funerals and after them

When the grave is buried, take a glass and drink to the repose of your soul. It would seem impossible to object to this sign. Try to find a person in Rus' who will not drink to the wake of his soul. But there is such a sign that the souls of dead people move into birds. Therefore, it would be more appropriate to place a shot glass or drink vodka at the grave. But this can also be objected to. If during your lifetime you sat with a person at the same table, drank strong drinks and had a good time, then this person will not refuse to drink five drops with you even after death.

When you return from the funeral, touch the stove with your hand - so that there will not be a new deceased in the house for a long time. This sign is due to the fact that the stove is directly connected with. It's probably not even worth explaining. Old people say that if you hold on to the stove after the cemetery, then everything bad omens you'll burn it at the root. Therefore, it is imperative that after you return from the funeral, if you don’t hold on to the stove, you never know, maybe there is no stove, then be sure to light a candle. A candle is also a fire that can burn away all negative energies.

After the funeral there is a glass of water on the windowsill - the deceased comes and drinks from this glass. Firstly, a glass of water does not have to be placed on the windowsill. It is enough that you place it in any convenient place. And it’s best to put a glass where the deceased liked to sit and drink tea or any other drink. It is noticed that the water gradually decreases in the glass. Whether it evaporates or not, think for yourself, but it really is. Moreover, if before the fortieth day the glass is half empty, then water must be added.

Signs at funerals must be observed unquestioningly. Otherwise it can not be. A person is born, grows, lives - at every step we encounter signs. But if during life the consequences of failure to comply with the signs can be somehow corrected, then after death this cannot be done. Therefore, you need to be extremely careful, then you will be able to live longer and happier.

The topic of funerals is a very sad one, but everyone has to deal with it sooner or later. Many are lost from surprise, because death always comes suddenly. Even if a person was seriously ill, and death was inevitable according to all forecasts, the sad outcome is always perceived by others as tragic. At such moments, loved ones lose peace of mind, feel abandoned and helpless. With our sincere participation we can support them and alleviate their suffering.

Mourning etiquette requires especially tactful behavior with the relatives of the deceased, attentive attention to any, even the smallest details of the burial ceremony. In order not to upset anyone with inappropriate actions or words at such a difficult moment, you should inquire in advance about the rules of conduct at a funeral.

During the funeral service

If the relatives of the deceased order a funeral ceremony in a church, then it's up to you whether to attend or not. The most correct thing is to find out about this in advance and clarify what funeral rites are accepted in a particular religion.

For example, among Orthodox Christians, all those present hold lighted candles in their hands and, standing at the coffin, read prayers. In Jewish tradition, it is inappropriate to bring wreaths or flowers to a funeral. And Catholics send out written invitations to a memorial service - a mass.

At a memorial service, the first places at the coffin are always reserved for close relatives. Therefore, you need to sit or stand a little further away. In addition, if you are ignorant of rituals, it will be easier to navigate from there and repeat after others what everyone else does: bowing, laying a cross or repeating the words of a prayer.

If you adhere to a different faith and religious views, to you it is not necessary to perform the rituals of someone else's faith. You can simply stand or sit on the sidelines with your head bowed mournfully and thereby express respect for the deceased and everyone present.

The correct thing to do is turn off your phone or put it in silent mode. It is indecent and tactless to correspond by phone during the ceremony, as well as to film the ceremony without prior approval from relatives or the funeral director.

  • In the old days, the funeral procession moved on foot from the temple to the cemetery. Several people are required to carry the coffin with the body and the lid. Close relatives cannot carry the coffin. Traditionally, family and friends follow the coffin immediately. They also bear the first wreaths. Now this path is the distance to the hearse, and the accompanying people then follow to the cemetery by transport.
  • Mourning etiquette prescribes appropriate funeral rules. It must correspond to the atmosphere of grief and sadness. Clothes do not have to be black; calm tones are sufficient, preferably dark ones. For men, a dark classic suit is suitable.
  • If the farewell ceremony takes place in a church, then women need to cover their hair with a headscarf or scarf. It is inappropriate for a woman to wear trousers to a funeral. It is better to wear shoes that are as comfortable as possible on this day.
  • Since relatives on the day of the funeral are faced not only with grief, but also with a whole avalanche of worries, you, if you wish, will have the opportunity to help all possible help. By doing this you will not only ease their suffering, but will show respect and pay your last tribute.
    Take on what you can actually do. For example, helping with the table at a wake, looking after children, saving someone from an emotional breakdown, or driving people to the train station. The main thing is that your help is specific, and what it can be, you will see for yourself, depending on the circumstances.

Flowers and wreaths at funerals

Funeral wreaths have long had their own symbolism. They use evergreens, as guides to another world, as well as artificial and fresh flowers- a symbol of rebirth. The circle of the ritual wreath means continuity and cyclicity, eternal life through the death and rebirth of the soul.

The last offering to the deceased in the form of a wreath is prepared by relatives, friends, and colleagues. Ribbons with memorable inscriptions are woven into the wreath. It is not advisable to write anyone’s name on the ribbons; they usually indicate “From relatives,” “From colleagues,” etc. Wreaths are carried behind the coffin, and after burial they are placed on the grave. They are preserved for a very long time and decorate the grave with bright colors even in winter.

Funeral etiquette prescribes choosing certain varieties and colors of fresh flowers for funerals. During the ceremony, when saying goodbye, they are placed in the coffin of the deceased, and before burial they are taken out and laid out on top of the grave.

Red flowers, including red roses, as a symbol of love, can only be brought to the funeral by the closest relatives. However, according to some beliefs, roses are an inappropriate flower for funerals due to their thorns. Can be issued funeral bouquet with black ribbon of even number chrysanthemums, carnations, callas, lilies or even orchids.

At the cemetery

Some people prefer not to go to the cemetery, especially people who are not very close to the deceased. Funeral rules do not require mandatory attendance at all stages of the ceremony. After all the main objective those who came to the funeral - to express condolences to the family of the deceased and say goodbye to the person who has passed away.

If you decide to attend the burial, then a certain ceremony is observed at the cemetery.

  1. First they approach their relatives to say. You can also shake hands or hug, depending on your degree of relationship or familiarity with the deceased.
  2. During the funeral, relatives are accommodated left hand from the deceased, and acquaintances and friends - to the right. This is the emotionally most difficult stage of farewell, when the deceased is buried and the realization comes that it will no longer be possible to see him. So, when going to the cemetery, stock up on napkins, water and medicine - if not for yourself, then for those who find it much more difficult to survive this day.
  3. Men at funerals must remove their hats. In winter, in the cold, this must be done at least for a short time lowering the coffin into the ground. Relatives throw three handfuls of earth on the coffin as a sign of farewell and release - committing the body to the earth.
  4. Sometimes at the cemetery words of farewell are said over the coffin. This is a kind of civil funeral service. Everyone can speak out if they have something to say. It would be appropriate to thank the deceased and say goodbye. After all, about the dead - it’s either good or nothing. You shouldn’t say empty, banal phrases like “he’s better there” or “time heals.”
  5. After the burial and laying of wreaths, they usually linger a little at the grave in silence. Before leaving, it is appropriate to bow to the relatives of the deceased. After the cemetery, funeral participants go to a funeral dinner.

Wake after funeral

People who were invited there usually come to the wake. This is understandable, because lunch is ordered for a certain number of people. At the wake, over a quiet, unhurried conversation, they remember kind words deceased. You can make a speech for everyone present, or you can just talk with your closest neighbors at the table.

Usually a wake is held on the 3rd day after death, that is, on the day of the funeral. The Slavs believe that it is on this day that the soul of the deceased appears for the first time before the Lord. Therefore, the main and first dish at a wake is funeral kutia - a Slavic ritual dish. Kutya grains symbolize resurrection to a new life, and honey - the sweetness of peace in another world.

At a wake, loud jokes, noise, laughter and swear words are inappropriate. You can laugh if such an atmosphere arises on the initiative of the relatives of the deceased, when, for example, in a conversation they remember some funny incident related to him. This is a good memory that works no worse than prayer. It is not customary to drink alcohol at funerals.

At the end of lunch, you may be given pies, cookies or sweets to take home. You cannot refuse a treat; you can treat it to other people. After all, it is generally accepted that what more people will remember the deceased in a good way, the easier it will be for his soul to ascend to heaven and go to paradise.

After the wake, when saying goodbye, you need to once again approach your relatives and say simple words sympathy. Then you can leave. It would be very noble not to leave grief-stricken people unattended. You can call or stop by in the coming days to show that life goes on, and your communication will also continue.

Death is the most hidden part human life. People are born, live, then the time of death comes. There are many secrets associated with death, it cannot be otherwise, because it is beyond the conscious. The departure of a person to another world is a difficult time for family and friends, and the last thing that can be done is to see off the now deceased on their last journey. Any religion has its own rituals and funeral ceremonies, special burial traditions and beliefs that significantly distinguish it from other faiths.

Farewell to the last journey

In ancient times there was a certain list of persons who could not be buried in the cemetery:

  • suicides;
  • drowned people;
  • the killers;
  • actors.

A person of a different religion must be buried according to his traditions. If a person has previously been baptized, and before death accepted another faith, then they are buried according to the traditions of the real religion. Some religions imply that if you abandon the true faith, you must return. Thus, sins will be forgiven by the Almighty.

Suicide is considered a great sin and most religions refuse to perform funeral services for a suicide victim.

IN Kievan Rus there was a belief that drowning was a shameful death. People who saw their end in the river were prophesied to become aquatic creatures in another life. They, like suicides, drowned people, murderers and actors, were buried outside the cemetery.

Modern society has moved away from old beliefs to a greater extent. The burial of the deceased takes place exclusively in the cemetery and with a monument. The unbaptized are still considered a separate category. They are buried in cemeteries, but there is no funeral service.

Orthodox funeral traditions

Orthodox rituals clearly show a relationship with pagan culture. On the day of death, it is necessary to cover all mirrors in the apartment with black cloth, paper or other opaque material.

There should be no music in the house. This is a manifestation of grief and respect for the deceased, since the soul is still nearby, so it does not need to be disturbed.

You can learn from church ministers that the soul stays on earth for 3 days, and after that it goes off to study afterworld, up to 9. Hence the ritual that it is necessary to bury the body on the 3rd day. It is necessary to keep an icon in the apartment, and also a glass of water, if the spirit of the deceased wants to drink.

Farewell to the deceased

If a person dies in a hospital, his body is first taken to the morgue, where a protocol for examination and determination of death is drawn up, but farewell to the deceased still takes place at home.

IN modern society They don’t put much emphasis on some traditions. In megacities they do not leave the deceased in an apartment for 3 days, although this custom has been preserved in small towns and villages.

But the farewell traditions have not undergone major changes. On the day of the funeral, before the process itself, loved ones and relatives gather to say goodbye. The coffin is usually left open so that people can last time see a person.

Exceptions occur when a person’s face and body do not have a holistic appearance, that is, they are assembled in parts. In such cases, use closed coffin so as not to shock loved ones.

The coffin, which is also considered the “house of the deceased,” must be chosen carefully. The sizes depend on the height and build of the person. The last “home” should be comfortable and also have a harmonious appearance.

In the last century there was a tradition of photographing the deceased, but in the 21st century the popularity of such photographs has sharply decreased. A technically developed society is able to remember moments with a living person, but at the same time, in the 19th century such an opportunity was limited. It was necessary to wait for the moment in one position, so photographs from the funeral were valuable.

Things that are valuable to him are placed in the “house” of the deceased: things he liked to use, jewelry and simply frequently used items. Modern world, who is shrouded in electronics, often places mobile phones in the coffin.

Clothing and signs

Clothing must be selected according to the ritual. It is believed that the deceased must be pure when moving to another world. To do this, he is dressed in everything clean, new if possible. Slippers that fit properly are put on your feet. The deceased should feel comfortable going to the afterlife.

Unmarried women are often buried in wedding dresses. You just need to buy a new one, because if you put on a dress from a person who is still alive, it will negatively affect his health. Girls are dressed in light-colored dresses.

Young guys are given a suit with a white shirt. A ring is put on the finger.

Grandmother is buried in a dress. And a suit is being chosen for grandfather. Elderly people wear any comfortable shoes.

Signs, related to death, come with positive and negative consequences.

Funeral ritual

The coffin is taken outside or to a church, where the deceased will be mourned. Before this, wreaths and photos of the deceased are brought out . If so, medals and orders. It is necessary to spend time sitting on the chairs where the coffin stood.

Some take the coffin to the church where the funeral service takes place. On Sunday, if it falls on Easter, the funeral service is performed in a special way. Most people order a priest to the place where the farewell will take place. Relatives gather around the body, holding candles, while the priest reads a prayer. After reading the prayer, the candles are blown out and people walk around the coffin.

There is an absentee type of funeral service in several cases:

  1. If a person is a military man and is buried in a mass grave.
  2. There is no opportunity to have a funeral service (usually occurs in villages where there are no churches).
  3. Those killed in disasters.
  4. If you didn’t manage to sing the funeral service on time.

Burial procedure

Before the burial procedure, the deceased can be seen for the last time. At this moment, according to Christian traditions, they say goodbye to the deceased. The priest reads out all the person’s achievements, and loved ones say goodbye and kiss the deceased.

The coffin is lowered into the grave on towels. In some cases, candles and coins are sent along with the deceased. Each person throws a handful of earth, and then reads a prayer to himself so that the person’s soul finds peace.

What to prepare for a funeral

On the day of the funeral, after the burial, everyone goes to the wake. It is necessary to organize the funeral hall and discuss food in advance.

Kutya is a must-have dish. The first course is served with Russian cabbage soup or other varieties of soup. Bread should be on the table. For the second course, various cereals are used. In addition to them, they are served with meat or fish. Drinks include vodka for men and wine for women. For the third, use compote and flour products. Each of those present is given pastries and sweets for the journey in order to remember the deceased.

Funeral services must be done on days 9 and 40. At this time, prayer is ordered in the church.

It is necessary to bury a Christian correctly in order for his soul to find peace in the afterlife.