Despite the fact that church marriage is not mandatory in Russia and the CIS countries, many couples decide to take this important step. And if some families sincerely want to make their marriage in heaven as a sign of confirmation pure love and faith in God, then others simply follow fashion, including the sacrament in the wedding plan.
For whatever reason you decide to get married, the wedding portal site reminds: be sure to follow church rules preparation for the sacrament!
Before the wedding: will there be a sacrament?
Before you start preparing for the wedding, you need to find out whether the church will allow your couple to get married in a church. After all, there are prescribed taboos to the ritual.
The wedding will not take place if:
If at least one of the above points occurs, alas, the church will not be able to bless your union.
Are there any obstacles to the sacrament? Then we offer you a little instruction in preparing for the wedding:
Wedding ceremony in Orthodox Church is carried out only if the couple has officially formalized the relationship. It doesn’t matter whether you decide to seal your union directly on the day of the celebration or years later, the church may ask you to provide a marriage certificate.
Confession and Communion before the wedding
The decision to get married should not be made spontaneously. Everyone in a couple must be sincerely confident in their intentions. Important role dedicated to the purification of the soul through prayers, Confession and Communion.
Maximum detailed information The church will definitely tell you how to prepare for the rituals. Do not hesitate to ask questions, because this will help avoid awkward situations directly during the rituals.
Before Communion and Confession, one should fast. During three days the newlyweds read prayers (the priest will tell you which ones), visit evening services, refuse for this period from sexual relations. Eggs, meat and dairy products will have to be excluded from food.. All this must be observed before the preparatory rites for the wedding.
One of the main tasks of the church is to help a person improve his own soul. Church teachings call to get rid of evil thoughts, empty and swear words, accept everything humbly and calmly.
As a rule, Confession and Communion take place immediately before the wedding. But this is not a mandatory requirement. The bride and groom can attend church the day before and separately.
Every church ceremony is aimed at healing human soul. And if you really decide to seal your relationship with a Church marriage, then both should want this. And the groom. And the bride.
The portal Svadbaholik.ru advises only those couples who are confident in the strength and purity of love in the family to go to church. This may take years, even decades of married life. But only then will you be able to fully appreciate the depth and significance of the sacrament of marriage. And you will treat the question of how to prepare for a wedding with maximum responsibility.
A wedding in a church is a sacred rite that gives a husband and wife a church blessing for a happy family life, birth of children. Many couples decide to celebrate this beautiful and touching event. But in order for the ritual to be not just a tribute to fashion, but to become a serious, deliberate step, it is worth knowing its features.
Important conditions for a wedding
It is allowed to get married on the wedding day or after a period of time: a week, a month, years. The main thing is that all conditions provided by the church are met.
Who can get married?
An important condition for the ceremony is the presence of a marriage certificate. In addition, spouses must be baptized Orthodox Christians. However, in some cases, a wedding may be allowed if the spouse is a non-Orthodox Christian, provided that children born in marriage will be baptized in Orthodoxy. Compliance with the marriageable age is also important: the bride must be 16 years old, the groom - 18. There is no need to be afraid of refusal if the wife is pregnant, since, according to the church, children should be born in a married marriage. The wedding can be held even if the spouses have not received a parental blessing, since it can be replaced by the blessing of the confessor.
There are not many restrictions on the sacrament of marriage. The Church will not approve of the ritual between unbaptized, atheists, blood, and also spiritual relatives, for example, between godparents of the child, between godfather and godson. This ceremony is allowed to be held no more than three times. It is also prohibited to get married if this is already your fourth officially registered marriage.
When is the ceremony allowed?
Often newlyweds decide to get married on the day with the official registration of marriage. But, considering what the sacrament of Orthodoxy is, quite serious step, there is no need to rush into the ceremony: it can be postponed until the birth of the child or carried out after several years of official marriage.
This ritual is not performed every day. Newlyweds are married 4 days a week on Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. However, it is worth considering that there are 4 fasts throughout the year, during which church marriages are not celebrated:
- Rozhdestvensky - lasts November 28 - January 6;
- Great - seven weeks before Orthodox Easter;
- Petrov - depends on the date of Easter, lasts from 8 to 42 days;
- Uspensky - lasts from August 14 to August 27.
The church will also refuse to hold weddings on significant days:
- September 11 - Beheading of John the Baptist;
- September 27 - Exaltation of the Holy Cross;
- from January 7 to January 19 - Christmastide;
- on Maslenitsa;
- on Bright Week (the week after Easter).
Even if the day you choose does not fall on the listed dates, it is still better to go to church to clarify everything with the priest. In addition, the bride must calculate so that on the chosen date there will be no “ critical days", since it is impossible to appear in church at this time.
What should precede the wedding ceremony?
It is necessary to prepare spiritually for this ritual. This means that before the wedding the bride and groom need to pray, confess, take communion, and undergo a three-day fast (it is necessary to abstain from food of animal origin). Newlyweds should not enter into carnal relations before marriage, and this condition also applies to a couple who decide to get married a few years later life together. They need to refrain from intimate relationships for several days before the ceremony.
Preparation for the sacrament of wedding
Choosing a church, communicating with a priest
To decide where to get married, you can go through different temples and choose the church where you feel most comfortable. For a magnificent, solemn ceremony, a large cathedral is suitable, for a quiet, secluded ceremony - a small church. Because the priest is important actor ritual, it is worth taking a responsible approach to its choice.
You must register for the wedding ceremony in advance (several weeks in advance). It is also worth discussing with the priest in advance all the issues: the duration of the wedding, what you need to bring with you, whether photography can be carried out, etc. It is worth considering that this is a paid ceremony, but in some churches its exact cost is established, in others voluntary donations are provided. This issue should also be discussed with the priest. Moreover, they often provide “ Additional services", for example, bell ringing, church choir.
Selection of guarantors
Two guarantors (witnesses) are usually chosen from close relatives. It is worth considering that they must be baptized. It is not allowed to take divorced spouses or a couple living in an illegal, “civil” marriage as guarantors. Their spiritual responsibilities are similar to those of godparents: they must spiritually guide the family they are creating. Therefore, it is not customary to invite young people who are not familiar with the married life, of people. If difficulties arise when searching for witnesses, it is possible to carry out the sacrament of wedding without them.
Choosing an outfit
- Bride
The bride's wedding dress should not be higher than her knees, should cover her shoulders and preferably her arms, and should not have a deep neckline (you can use long gloves, a cape, a bolero, an openwork shawl, a stole, etc.). It is advisable to give preference to light colors along with dark and bright ones (purple, blue, black) should be abandoned. Sundresses and pantsuits. The bride must cover her head. Considering that during the ceremony the newlyweds wear church crowns (crowns), you should not cover the bride’s head with a large hat, as it will look inappropriate.You can wear any shoes, but when choosing them, you should take into account that you will have to stand in them for quite a long time, so it is better to avoid uncomfortable high-heeled shoes. To decide on a hairstyle, it is advisable to check with the priest in advance whether the crowns will be placed on the head or will be held by guarantors. The bride's makeup should not be too noticeable; it is also worth remembering that it is forbidden to kiss a crown, cross, or icon with painted lips.
It is believed that a wedding dress cannot be given or sold. It must be stored together with baptismal shirts, wedding candles, and icons.
- Groom
For a wedding, the groom will wear a formal suit. There are no special prohibitions regarding the color of the suit. You should not come to church in casual, denim, or sportswear. The groom should not have a hat.
- Guests
Guests entering the temple must comply with the requirements for all parishioners: for women - closed clothing, hats, trouser suits are not recommended, for men - formal clothing, without a headdress.
In addition, all participants and those present at the wedding ceremony: the bride, groom, guarantors and guests must wear crosses.
What to prepare for the ceremony
For the wedding you will need:
- rings that must be given to the priest before the ceremony for consecration;
- wedding candles;
- wedding icons(images of Christ and the Virgin Mary);
- a white towel (the newlyweds will stand on it during the ceremony);
- two scarves (to hold candles).
The towel on which the bride and groom stood during the wedding in the temple symbolizes the path of life, so it must be kept and not given to anyone. You should also store wedding candles that can be lit when difficult birth, diseases of children.
Photographer's choice
It is important to note that making a video or photographing a wedding ceremony is not allowed in all churches. Therefore, it is worth discussing this issue with the priest in advance. Considering that the lighting in churches is specific, it is advisable to choose a professional photographer who will take into account the nuances of shooting, will be able to choose the right angles, and high quality pictures, conveying the atmosphere of the temple and the grandeur of the wedding ceremony.
Wedding ceremony
This ritual includes engagement and wedding. It is worth considering that during the ceremony the priest must call the newlyweds by the names that were given to them at baptism (sometimes they differ from the names “in the world”). Engagement passes at the entrance to the church. The bride should stand to the left of the groom. The priest blesses the newlyweds and hands over lit wedding candles, which must be held until the end of the service. After prayer he changes three times wedding rings from a man's hand to a woman's hand. After this they become the bride and groom.
Wedding is held in the center of the temple, where the bride and groom will stand on a white towel. During the ceremony, the priest reads prayers, and the guarantors hold crowns over the heads of the newlyweds. After answering the priest’s questions, “Is the wedding performed of one’s own free will?” “Are there any obstacles?” and reading prayers, the newlyweds become spouses before God. Now they can kiss their crowns and drink wine from a cup in three doses, which symbolizes family life with joys and sorrows. After the priest leads them around the lectern and leads them to the Royal Doors, the husband kisses the icon of Christ, and the wife kisses the Mother of God. Now guests can congratulate the newlyweds.
Remember that a wedding is not just a memorable, bright holiday, but also a very important step that should be taken once in a lifetime. It is possible to divorce (debunk) spouses only under serious circumstances, with the permission of the diocese. Therefore, the union of one’s life before God and the sacrament of wedding itself should be approached seriously, with understanding and taking into account all traditions and rules.
Starting a family is a responsible and extremely important step in the life of every adult. Having decided to get married, a young man and a girl thereby confirm their spiritual maturity, recognizing the complexity of the tasks that will radically change their lives in the future. Therefore, future spouses often ask the Lord God for help and support, which he invisibly sends sacrament of wedding. How to properly prepare for a wedding to be worthy God's grace? Sincere faith and adherence to church rules are the two main pillars of those getting married.
Spiritual cleansing is the most important principle before marriage
Future spouses may be churchgoers, but this is not necessary. The most important thing is that they realize the need to receive the blessing from above that is sent by the sacrament. What should you do in preparation for your wedding?
- The bride and groom accompany spiritual cleansing with physical cleansing. That's why Before the wedding it is necessary to fast for several days. Meat, dairy dishes, and products containing eggs are excluded. This will help change the direction of thoughts and give purity to thoughts. You should also renounce sexual intercourse and repent in confession if it occurred;
- On the eve of the wedding, future spouses must attend vespers and then confess to their spiritual father. Participle the newlyweds receive it in the morning, on the wedding day. A few days before the wedding, the priest holds a confidential and instructive conversation with the newlyweds, in which he outlines the most important canons Christian family. There may be several such conversations if the priest sees a need for them;
- Prayer and repentance– the most important stages preparation for the sacrament. After all, when getting married, young people should be as pure and open as possible before God. Of course, no one will be able to discover any deception for the time being, but our Heavenly Father knows everything. We are all sinners, therefore, sincerely regretting our actions (whether fornication, premarital cohabitation, sinful acts), asking forgiveness from God, through his servant, the holy father, we receive forgiveness, peace and grace;
- It is unthinkable to hide anything during confession, because the Lord knows everything. And you should not be afraid to open your soul, because the Lord God knows his children and rejoices more over one lost but returned sheep than over nine that are saved;
- If newlyweds are not familiar with the Bible and prayers, they should definitely learn the Lord's Prayer "Our Father" and "Creed", try to understand their spiritual essence. It will be very good if young people read at least the Gospel of the Apostle Mark.
The trepidation and excitement that future spouses experience before the wedding ceremony is quite understandable. During this period, they are overshadowed by the holy spirit, which helps to cleanse their soul and body before the sacrament. Therefore, sincere daily prayer about sending down prosperity in the family being created.
Some material and official aspects of the wedding
What clothes should be, what should you purchase before the wedding? The church-going sisters or the priest himself will tell you about this. We will also tell you about this:
- Bride's clothes should not be provocative. So, the dress should be purchased closed; a large neckline, bare back and arms are not allowed. A veil and headdress in the form of a wreath or hat are required. If the dress is open, you can cover your shoulders and back with a veil. The length of the wedding dress should not be above the knee. Important rule: this dress must be kept in the family after the ceremony, so you cannot rent it;
- According to church canons, the husband should wear at the wedding Golden ring , since it symbolizes the sun, as the main luminary in the family, for the wife - silver (as a sign of a lesser luminary - the moon). But this old rule, now wedding rings for both husband and wife are usually made of gold. What rings to buy for young people is up to them to decide;
- Before the wedding you should purchase icons of the Mother of God or Father Pantocrator(unless there is a family heirloom at home that can be passed on through generations). They are placed on the throne and after the wedding become a home shrine of the newly created family;
- About wedding candles, a bottle of church wine or Cahors, a snow-white dress, which the newlyweds will become, also needs to be taken care of in advance. They can be bought in icon shops at churches or in special stores that sell properly consecrated products.
There are some official rules that may prevent a wedding. Future spouses should know them:
- In most churches, the wedding does not take place until the ceremony is concluded. civil marriage. By this the Church shows respect for state laws;
- If one of the couple admits to being an atheist, saying that he came to church at the insistence of his parents or significant other, the wedding will not take place;
- It should be noted that marriages between relatives up to the fourth generation are also unacceptable, according to church canons. If one of the couple has even been in a civil registered marriage three times already, the church refuses to marry such people;
- If the bride and groom are not baptized, then there is nothing to worry about: they can go through the sacrament of baptism at any time, listen to several spiritual conversations - and then get married.
All questions that arise before the wedding must be agreed upon with the rector of the temple where you plan to unite yourself. marriage ties. There are no unsolvable issues, so your spiritual father will always come to your aid by prescribing repentance or fasting. The main thing before the wedding: go down the aisle with faith in a pure heart, the desire to create happy family, firmly and unwaveringly fulfill your marital duty until death do you part.
IN Soviet years in our country, some functions that were previously performed by the church began to be performed by registry offices. State institutions registered acts of civil status, including marriages, and the sacred rite of consecration of the union between spouses, which was carried out in churches, was forgotten.
In those years, people who got married in church were expelled from the party and Komsomol, and sometimes even fired from their jobs. It is not surprising that few people decided to take such a step. Over time, these prohibitions were lifted, and the ancient tradition of consecrating relationships loving people in our churches it is beginning to revive.
Some couples decide to enter into such a union several years after registering the marriage in the registry office. What are the requirements for those getting married in a church if they are already married? There is no difference in the rules of the church charter for people who have been married for a long time or recently.
What do you need for a church wedding if you are already married?
In any case, you are required to bring documents to the church confirming registration with the registry office.
According to the rules, spouses who want to sanctify their union in church must be baptized Orthodox Christians, not related to each other by blood (up to the fourth degree), not godfathers of each other, or godparents and godchildren.
In some cases, weddings with Christians of other faiths (Catholics, Lutherans, Protestants) are allowed, but this ceremony is not performed if one of the spouses is not baptized, is a Muslim, a Buddhist, or adheres to another faith.
You should also know that the church does not recognize all marriages concluded in accordance with civil norms. It does not allow marriage more than three times, although in accordance with the legislation in our country subsequent – fourth and fifth – marriages are allowed.
If one of the spouses has already been married before, he must obtain permission from the bishop to dissolve the previous marriage.
How do those who are already married prepare for a wedding?
You need to choose a temple where this ceremony will take place, set a suitable date in accordance with church calendar and negotiate this with the priest. According to the church charter, weddings are not held:
- on days of multi-day church fasts (Rozhdestvensky, Great, Petrovsky and Uspensky),
- on Cheese and Easter weeks,
- during the period from the Nativity of Christ to Epiphany (Svyatka),
- on the eve of the twelve, great and temple holidays,
- in days church holidays(for Candlemas, Ascension of the Lord, Trinity, Beheading of John the Baptist, Christmas Holy Mother of God, Exaltation of the Holy Cross, Protection of the Holy Virgin),
- on Saturdays, as well as on Tuesdays and Thursdays - on the eve of fasting Wednesday and Friday.
In order to have time to prepare everything you need, it is better to set a wedding date 2-3 weeks before the event.
What else do married spouses need to prepare for the wedding ceremony? On the eve of this ceremony, the spouses need to fast for three days, confess and take communion.
If you are not very familiar with the procedure for conducting church rituals, do not worry - the priest will tell you everything. Before giving you his blessing, he will offer to read certain prayers, attend a church service, etc.
Keep in mind that on the eve of communion and weddings you should not drink alcohol; It is also recommended to abstain from intimacy. These days they do not need to be angry, quarrel, allow idle talk, unkind thoughts, they should be more humble and meek.
What is required for a wedding ceremony in a church?
To perform this ritual you will need:
- two icons - the Savior and Mother of God, with which the clergyman will bless the spouses during the sacrament,
- rings: gold for a man and silver for a woman, although only gold or silver can be used,
- church candles and two small scarves with which you will wrap the candles so that during the wedding the dripping wax does not burn your hands,
- towels, one of which is used to bandage the wedding couple’s hands, and the other is placed under their feet (these can be elegant white towels or towels decorated with wedding symbols),
- red fortified wines "Cahors" or "Sherry".
The wedding set will be available for purchase at the church store. The wedding ceremony itself is carried out free of charge, but there is a tradition of leaving a donation in the temples. Its size, which is discussed individually, is usually 500-1500 rubles.
Video filming in the temple is possible only with the prior permission of the priest. Some churches prohibit filming, while others only allow filming from certain locations.
How to prepare for a wedding in a church?
Take your choice of witnesses seriously. According to the rules, only baptized Orthodox believers can act in this capacity. It is desirable that this be a married couple, married and with children.
Witnesses will have to not only be present in the church and hold crowns over your heads during the ceremony, but also maintain close contact with you later, help in establishing a family and, if necessary, provide moral assistance.
The spouses' outfits should be formal and at the same time modest. You should not wear casual, sports or too revealing clothes to your wedding. The bride's dress should not have a deep neckline or slits and should not be longer than the knees.
If it is too open, you need to take care of a scarf or cape that is thrown on top. The heads of all women present at the wedding must be covered with scarves or hats. Also, during the ceremony, the spouses must wear crosses. This also applies to other people present at the wedding ceremony.
It remains to say that the wedding ceremony takes quite a long time - at least 40 minutes, and it is better for the bride to choose comfortable shoes that are not too tight. high heels so that nothing distracts her during the ceremony.
We hope that in this article you will find the answer to the question of what is necessary for a wedding in a church for those couples who have already been married. We advise you to treat this sacrament with all seriousness and responsibility, because dissolving a church marriage, unlike a civil one, is extremely difficult.
Date of publication or update 11/01/2017
How to prepare for a wedding according to Orthodox traditions?
In various spheres of our life, such a concept as fashion operates. It concerns not only clothing or interior items. IN different time fashion can have a variety of manifestations, and in many ways, its legislators are famous and public people. For example, in certain circles Today it has become very fashionable not only to get married in the registry office, but also to perform the wedding ceremony. Moreover, preferably in front of a large crowd of people, with the obligatory invitation of journalists and television.
Such hype around this ritual sometimes leads to the fact that many newlyweds believe that a wedding in a church is just another wedding ritual, nothing more, akin to the custom of ransoming the bride or going on a wedding walk. And they include a wedding in the list of wedding events, sometimes without thinking about it. in a deep sense this ritual.
You should not assume that getting married in a church is the same as, for example, connecting to MTS in Moscow: it is just as simple and, in essence, does not oblige you to anything. It is no coincidence that the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox tradition is called a sacrament, and its implementation is accompanied by a number of requirements and restrictions.
Only people who have really decided to connect their lives with each other and are confident in the sincerity of their feelings can get married. And they understand what obligations this church ceremony performed on them imposes on them Orthodox priest according to established canons. Only by realizing the importance of this step can you decide not only to perform a civil ceremony in the registry office, but also to seal yourself in marriage in the face of God. If this decision was not just a tribute to fashion, but a truly responsible step, then all preparations for the wedding will be carried out sincerely, with a joyful soul, and will not cause misunderstanding.
So, what day should you schedule your wedding? There are no strict restrictions here; the wedding can, if desired, take place several years after civil registration. Currently, many newlyweds prefer to get married immediately after the ceremony in the registry office. But when planning your wedding events, you must keep in mind that not every day a wedding ceremony is performed in the temple. It is best to ask the priest in advance if he can marry you on the day of your choice. Among the main restrictions are the following: according to Orthodox canons, weddings are not performed on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, during Lent, Easter and Maslenitsa week, and during other church holidays.
There are no strict restrictions on choosing a temple for a wedding. Each couple is free to decide this issue in their own way: you can give preference to a modest small church or the main temple of the city, where the ceremony will most likely take place in front of a large crowd of people.
It is important to properly prepare for the wedding, and during the ceremony have everything necessary for it. It is best if the ceremony is preceded by a conversation between the newlyweds and the priest, in which they will talk not only about organizational issues, but also about the spiritual essence of the ceremony. Most likely, the priest will recommend that the newlyweds keep a short fast and read special prayers before the wedding. As a rule, on the eve of the wedding it is recommended to attend a service and take the sacrament. But these requirements are not strict or mandatory, and they can be waived if the newlyweds do not consider it necessary. But the main condition for a wedding cannot be neglected: both the bride and groom must be baptized. And also witnesses, if they will be present at the ceremony.
For the wedding ceremony, you need to have certain items - what it will be and in what quantity, you must find out from the priest in advance. Passports that already have a marriage registration stamp are required: modern practice Orthodox wedding requires that it must take place after the official marriage. This must be kept in mind when planning the course of wedding events: the temple after the registry office. Be sure to also wear pectoral cross, both the bride and groom and their witnesses. Typically, newlyweds need to purchase icons of the Savior and the Virgin Mary, pre-consecrated, and two special wedding candles. Usually both are purchased in advance. You should also have a white cotton or linen towel with you. A pale pattern on the towel is allowed. To hold candles during the ceremony, it is best to stock up on new white handkerchiefs. And, of course, the newlyweds need rings to carry out the ceremony.
If you plan to film the ceremony, the appropriate permission must be obtained from the priest in advance. In some temples, filming is prohibited, in others it is allowed only with specific place, so you definitely need to take an interest in this issue.
If you want the wedding certificate to be preserved on long years, you can purchase special “crusts” for it - they are usually offered in the church shop.
As a rule, the wedding takes place on the wedding day, and the newlyweds, as well as guests, come to the temple in their wedding attire. This point must be taken into account when dressing for a wedding, because in churches there are certain requirements for appearance parishioners So, for a bride, too deep a neckline and open shoulders, as well as bare head. Therefore, if the dress is open, when ordering a wedding dress, be sure to take care of a cape or scarf, which will be made in the same style as the dress and will not spoil wedding photos. The bride should have a scarf on her head - it is better to think about the way of tying it, taking into account the hairstyle, in advance so that the scarf does not fall off during the ceremony. It will be very difficult to correct it.
During the ceremony, crowns are placed on the heads of the newlyweds. It makes sense to ask in advance whether they will be worn or simply held over the heads of young witnesses. If crowns are to be worn, it is better that the bride's scarf is made of cotton fabric, as it will slip on silk or synthetic fabric.
Since during the ceremony the bride will have to kiss the crowns and icons, it is better to wipe off the lipstick before the wedding. Of course, the bridesmaid will have a cosmetic bag with everything she needs to touch up her wedding makeup after the ceremony.
There are no strict requirements for the groom's suit, and he will not have to make virtually any changes to his wedding dress. You just need to remember that a man in church is with his head uncovered, which means he must have an appropriate hairstyle. Eg, long hair It's better to put it in a ponytail.
Of course, a wedding, or, according to Orthodox traditions, marriage in church is an important and exciting step, a spiritual sacrament, the significance of which in the life of true believers of the bride and groom is very great. But thinking about the spiritual does not exclude a purely practical approach to preparing this important event. After all, for example, when planning to connect direct MTS numbers, you receive all the information in advance necessary information, and choose for yourself Better conditions according to tariff plans. Awareness will also help if a wedding ceremony is planned. Having prepared everything necessary for it, having an idea of how it will take place, the bride and groom will be able to focus on the essence of the ceremony, and fully feel that they are connected not only by official, but also by divine ties.
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