Technique of influence NLP - methods of influence on a person that allow you to succeed at work and be successful in your personal life. This is help in establishing contact with another person, a little manipulation for your own benefit.
NLP helps to establish effective contact with people
What is NLP
In the modern world, success is associated with well-being. The ability to achieve set goals, aspirations, victory over competitors - success in business depends on such factors. Secret techniques are used in companies whose earnings are directly dependent on customer compliance. Network marketing, stores and retail outlets use simple psychological manipulation to get rich.
NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is a simulation of success. Technology that helps you excel in any field without innate inclinations. Basic methods are useful for men and women of different ages and social status. NLP is a small manual, a collection of techniques that allow you to improve your own situation - to attract the right people, to achieve more at work.
On the Internet or in a bookstore, you can find several NLP publications for beginners. Author Danny Reid reveals the simplest and most necessary techniques that make it possible to correct the behavior of people from the close environment. His book "Secret Techniques" is very popular all over the world.
How NLP can help
- improving communication skills;
- understanding your own thinking, awareness of your nature;
- solving lingering problems;
- control over your own state;
- setting goals and achieving them without barriers;
- improved intuition - it will be possible to better understand which people will help and which will only harm;
- increasing concentration of attention, working capacity, labor efficiency;
- promotion.
The essence of programming is in modeling someone else’s success: it’s not stealing someone else’s achievements, but following rules that have already been tested in the experience of others. No special skills or talents are needed for this kind of programming.
The use of NLP allows you to improve communication skills: to establish relationships in a team or better understand loved ones. It is a technique of perception, but it does not necessarily spoil the life of another.
The benefits and harms of the technique
Even safe methods can hurt. Rumors that go around about the NLP technique can be misleading: manipulation is associated with violent influence on another. Before studying NLP, you should familiarize yourself with its main position: this is one of the areas of psychology that has been effectively used for more than a decade. This technology of influence is used by psychologists, psychiatrists, coaches, people who work to achieve a certain result, motivators. The technique is practiced all over the world and has many fans.
How can methods of exposure be dangerous? Any psychological manipulation is contraindicated for people with mental disorders: they have a distorted perception of reality, and they cannot objectively assess the situation. This type of influence is also dangerous for a fragile psyche that is just being formed. Internalization of wrong attitudes and beliefs can occur.
Promotion is one of the effects of using NLP
Manipulation techniques
Neuro Linguistic Programming is a practical psychology. The method of influencing another person increases the efficiency of work and helps in the treatment of difficult patients: useful methods of influencing a person are used to correct behavior.
The NLP technique is used for discussions, speeches, negotiations. Such an impact does not lead to serious consequences. The most popular manipulation techniques are:
- contribution trap;
- three "yes";
- mixed truth.
Any NLP technique is directed at another, but with a benefit to oneself. This is an increase in success due to the correct perception of the message and actions of the people around.
Even in a team of ill-wishers, such a technique can increase the efficiency of the employee or employees. Versatile techniques can be applied to colleagues, family members, or friends.
Contribution trap
Basic manipulation techniques are effective only under the right conditions. The "contribution trap" methodology is based on one psychological technique: if you force a person to invest strength, time, resources in any business, you can get his assistance in the future.
Subconsciously, such a person will feel involved in the business: he is part of the process, and in the future it will be very difficult for him to refuse to participate in it. The contribution to the common cause may be minimal, but it also obliges the assistant to further assistance.
The basic NLP techniques are simple and require a bit of trickery to do them. It is not so important in what way a person was involved in the case, if he started work, then he will remain in the project until its completion.
Three positive answers technique
NLP techniques allow you to get a positive response from an intractable person. The three "yes" method works flawlessly. How does it work:
- a person is asked several questions, to which he will most likely answer positively - these should be simple questions, without negativity or claims;
- Once the person answers the distracting questions in the affirmative, the main question for which the manipulation is being used can be asked.
The technique works in such a way that a person tunes in a positive way. He is pleased to answer questions that evoke a positive reaction in him. The three "yes" method works in most cases.
Problems with the technique can arise in cases where a person is aggressive or has a personal dislike for the interlocutor. In such cases, another manipulation is needed to obtain a positive response.
Mixed truth
A technique that can be used unconsciously - on an intuitive level. It is useful to use phrases or facts in your speech that are easily verifiable or widely known. During such stories, when the interlocutors already have confidence, you can add unverified facts (doubtful), and people will still believe in them.
In psychology, this effect is called induced unconditional trust. You can evoke favor with people who put pressure on others, because they are too demanding and biased. If you adjust to their pressure, they will start to trust.
Trusting interlocutors can be presented with untrue facts in which they will believe
Ways to influence NLP
Practical methods will be effective if a person creates additional conditions for the implementation of his plans: the possibility of professional growth or the prerequisites for achieving the goal.
In psychology, NLP techniques are used:
- reframing;
- "anchor";
- rapport and management;
- motivational;
- reinforcing.
Techniques are used to position people towards themselves. Examples where NLP techniques are used: negotiations with important partners, a date, a friendly meeting, a business conversation.
One or more techniques can be used to conduct constructive conversations. It is important that the interlocutor does not catch the manipulation, does not notice the purposeful suggestion.
Conversational reframing
Reframing is a different look at the situation, rethinking its main part. This method helps in dealing with difficult people whose words and actions are difficult to understand. Reframing of meaning changes the perception of everything that happens, as the emphasis shifts. It is used as one of the most effective NLP patterns (repetitive behavior).
The method of neurolinguistic programming will come in handy during a consultation so that its results do not seem negative: during negotiations, when a different view of the proposal is needed; for sales to re-evaluate the product and its value.
The results of the technique directly depend on how naturally a person makes a revolution in the meaning of what is happening.
For any phrase that needs to be reframed, you need an evaluative word - it is the brightest and most informative, it can come from the situation, and you don't have to invent it. After that, the word needs to be inspired: imagine in what situations it is most appropriate, what it describes, to whom it belongs. The general definition is being corrected, its emphasis is shifted to that which is needed by a person. This is how meaning reframing happens.
Anchor technique
Neurolinguistic programming techniques such as anchor are based on conditioned reflexes. As long as a certain stimulus is on, any desired result can be achieved from a person. The "anchor" technique helps in communication, in negotiations or when concluding contracts.
What is an anchor? This is a stimulus associated with a reaction - a conditioned reflex. With the help of this technique, you can control the behavior (your own and those of others). The method can be used selectively or constantly, introduce it into a useful habit.
Method steps:
- determination of the state that is needed at the moment;
- the challenge of this state is the creation of a suitable emotional background, memories;
- at the peak of the experience, a conditional anchor is established, which must be fixed in memory - it will be useful in the future;
- abrupt interruption of the state;
- examination;
- using an anchor.
The results of the method will be visible immediately. The brain is designed in such a way that at the peak of any state (negative or positive), a random situation is remembered most of all - this is a trigger that becomes an anchor. There are many such signals in psychological manipulation schemes. If the person experiences joy, the accidental touch will be the trigger. In the future, this gesture will be associated with the peak of joy and can be used to mitigate difficult conflicts.
The NLP-2 rules define the working conditions of the anchor - there must be an emotional peak and an unusual trigger. The stimulus is always inside a joyful state: the work with the subconscious is carried out especially carefully. The original trigger is selected. He is like a key that will make a person experience positive feelings again.
The anchoring technique is based on conditioned reflexes
Rapport and maintenance
The rapport characterizes the relationship of two people as trusting. This is a special bond that has developed over time. Such a pair forms a system: they are one whole and act as one organism. Rapport is a desire to follow a person, trust him, follow him without any questions. The subconscious mind perceives such a situation as unconditional trust.
The rapport is followed by the lead. These are related concepts: trust arises, followed by a person. Changes in one member of the system entail changes in the second. This technique has three stages that form a cycle: adjustment, rapport, guidance. If you build the system correctly (first follow the person), you can take control. Leadership is the main tool of influence, especially in close partnerships.
Behavior calibration is necessary when interactions are disrupted. People build a common system, and the one who manipulates must observe rapport - this is an important condition for successful manipulation.
People in one interaction must have constant contact, otherwise all harmony will be violated. This is the main difference between trust and psychological rapport.
Strong motivation
Motivation is a force that you can use to achieve your goals. Its principle is very simple: a person must perform a certain action now in order to receive additional encouragement, reward, benefit for this in the future. Motivation is the expectation of the good that generates the strength to work hard.
They use it only in relation to the close environment: people whose intentions and secret desires are known. If the motivation is not right, you will not be able to get the best out of it. Working with the subconscious in this case requires knowledge of the habits and aspirations of the person whose behavior needs to be corrected.
Reinforcement technique
Reinforcement is the foundation of reward. A stable energy message that needs to be reinforced so as not to reduce the effectiveness of the technique. Reinforcement is based on gestures, pleasant little things - these are things that remind you of how pleasant it is to perform the actions the manipulator needs.
Without encouragement, motivation is not enough for a long time: some of the NLP techniques are based on long-term interaction for the sake of obtaining benefits. It is necessary to select things for reinforcement individually, based on the desires and needs of the other.
Conclusion
Neuro-linguistic programming is a system of simple manipulation techniques that will come in handy in life. At work, at home, in complex negotiations, you can use the technique and win over the right person.
Techniques will allow you to achieve your goals, and motivation will help to improve family relationships. The selection of techniques depends on the wishes and goals of the manipulator.
8. NLP is hypnosis
There are indeed many things in NLP that are modeled after the great American hypnotist Milton Erickson. And NLP sometimes uses non-directive hypnosis techniques. True, many of these techniques are constantly used by most people in everyday life. Unconsciously.
9. NLP only removes symptoms
In NLP, symptoms are understood as outward signs of a condition. And if we change the state, then the symptoms must also change. That is, the effectiveness of the impact is determined by the symptoms in NLP. But in order to obtain such changes, it is necessary to carry out an internal restructuring of a person's thinking. What NLP helps to do.
10. NLP is programs that "invest" in the brain of other people
Yes, NLP is also about programming the brain. His and someone else's. This is directly and honestly reflected in the title: the letter "P" stands for "programming". But we all constantly program ourselves and others. As for something useful, and for all sorts of nasty things. And what psychologists and psychiatrists do is reprogram the brain (only they usually don't like to call it that). It's just that NLP can often do it faster and easier.
11. NLP is manipulation
Psychological manipulation is a hidden influence. It is considered something bad in psychology. But, firstly, most of us consciously or unconsciously manipulate or try to manipulate others. Look at politicians, negotiators, and wives with husbands. Second, the issue is not about manipulation itself. And the fact that the manipulator is trying to achieve his goals at the expense of others (apparently, if this is done openly, then everything will become normal and morally acceptable). In NLP, the principle of "win - win" is important - that is, creating situations in which both parties benefit. Just as mentioned above, the result should be useful and environmentally friendly for the client. And implicit influence, in this context, can be very useful. Simply because if a person has not yet been able to solve the problem on his own, his current style of thinking (conscious) does not work. And one of the solutions is to communicate with the unconscious, which can help solve the problem. And since the consciousness is sensitive to its supremacy, it has to be done secretly - that is (oh horror!) To manipulate.
So yes, NLP uses manipulation. This often allows you to get the result faster, more acceptable and more environmentally friendly for the Client.
12. Only coaches make money on NLP
All other NLPers make money by applying NLP in the areas they need. Someone in business, someone in therapy, someone in training, etc.
13. NLP is a pickup truck
NLP has been brought to Russia in several geographic locations and in several social contexts. One of the contexts was indeed the pickup, which itself arrived around the same time. Also, the pickup was the noisiest and most controversial of the contexts of the application of NLP, which is why there is still a myth that NLP = Pickup. Despite the fact that the most famous Russian pick-up artists are already disowning NLP (many while continuing to use it).
14. Sects use NLP
Sects use not so much NLP as the principles of the human mind. Which NLP describes. And other areas of psychology. And neurology. And many other human sciences.
15. In NLP, any problem can be solved in 15 minutes.
In NLP, there really are techniques and techniques that allow you to cope with some problems very quickly. Even faster than 15 minutes. But not with everyone and not always. Often times, work can take much longer: it can take hours and days to gather information, understand the structure of a problem, and help a person change.
Gregory works as a salesman in the electrical goods department. An elderly woman came to his department. And she began to carefully examine the display case with electric kettles.
He closely watched the actions of the customer. She walked around the entire display case, examined several teapots. At that moment, when she lingered about one sample, he slowly approached her. And he asked: "Does she like this model?"
The woman looked up at him. Holding the kettle in her hands, she answered: “I don’t like the kettle, its body is made of too thin plastic”. Grigory looked at her sympathetically and said: "As I understand it, you want to buy a kettle, the body of which will last a long time?"
"Yes!" - she answered in the affirmative.
Gregory lightly took the customer by the elbow and, directing the movement, led her to other models. Said, “Pay attention to these teapots with a metal body. Exactly the same kettle I have at home for four years now. Works great".
He noticed a certain alertness in his gaze and her elbow, which was in his hand, tensed. Gregory realized that this model was too expensive for the client.
He calmly removed his hand, stepped forward a little and loudly so that his voice was well heard, said: "I can offer you this model."
The customer, having heard the voice of the seller, approached the new sample. And Gregory, without wasting time, said: “True, his case is plastic, but the price is lower, and most importantly, the manufacturer gives a guarantee not for 1 year, but for 3 years. The goods must be replaced free of charge within three years. "
After waiting a few more minutes, he asked: "What kind of kettle would you buy - with a metal case or the one that you watched last."
Result: the woman bought a teapot with a three-year warranty in a plastic case and was very pleased!
To change the buyer's mind in his favor, the seller used the NLP technique.
What is NLP? Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a model of communicative interaction between people based on the modeling of their experiences.
The "neuro" particle is associated with the processing of information that enters the brain from the senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch).
The term "Linguistic" defines the connection with linguistic systems (verbal and non-verbal), their use for understanding ideas about the world and communication.
"Programming" - information processing. Psychological software changes thinking and actions as a result of a reboot (uninstall, install, update).
NLP is a young science. It appeared in the second half of the twentieth century thanks to the scientific psychologists Richard Bandler and John Glinder. Observing the ways of thinking, perception, motivation of actions, they identified common features in the processes of thinking and perception. Developed a model based on the relationship between information perception and behavior. They proved that the degree of information perception can change human behavior.
The typical model formed the basis for the creation of effective, positive forms for controlling thoughts, changing and correcting them. The newly formed thought-forms create new beliefs and make them take the necessary actions to advance towards the set goals.
The essence of persuasion technique
When choosing an action, a person is helped by views and beliefs. For example: an important belief is to improve your own qualifications. Therefore, a person reads special articles and monographs, goes to the library, attends seminars. The belief in the need to communicate with children makes parents devote more time to them.
Changing beliefs also changes the behavioral foundations of the individual. A sweet and harmless child in childhood, a person changing beliefs in the direction of radicalism can kill another person. Piously believing that his actions are beneficial.
Thus, in order to change a person's behavior, it is necessary to change his beliefs.
Changing beliefs is a delicate process. You can't just take and convince someone to give up one action in favor of doing another. You can force from a position of strength. From the standpoint of reason - no.
When beliefs change, the brain corrects the reaction to a familiar situation, and the behavior changes. The following factors contribute to a change in beliefs:
- interaction of people with each other;
- communication process;
- time (age periods);
- acquired life experience;
- world outlook.
For example, in childhood everyone believes that Santa Claus exists. In my youth, that this is the love of my life. These beliefs seem ridiculous today. This process is inevitable. In the process of life, beliefs are revised. People have convictions in all spheres of life, some they would like to change. Changing beliefs with the help of NLP is one of the ways to self-know yourself and change for the better.
NLP Applications
The NLP technique is used in different areas of professional activity:
- educational;
- advertising;
- psychotherapeutic;
- psychological;
- in the field of sales;
- in the activities of special services.
Know the techniques of NLP should: psychiatrists, psychologists, managers, educators, PR specialists, marketers and employees of special services.
NLP techniques are widely used in psychotherapy when solving the following problems:
- various phobias;
- suffered psychotrauma;
- conflict situations;
- psychosomatic syndrome.
Advantages and disadvantages of the technique
Ten Ways of Neurolinguistic Programming - Language Tricks
Beliefs are the rules of human life. They determine the behavior of a person, his position in life, prohibitions and permissions. Along with useful necessary rules, there are senseless ones that hinder the development of the advancement of the individual. The speech method - language tricks - will help to get rid of or change them. Changing beliefs with the help of NLP is quite rapid and productive. The scope of application of the tricks of the language is wide:
- negotiation;
- therapy;
- "Elimination" of an unnecessary client;
- A "rift" in a limiting belief;
- consolidating an expanding belief.
Let's look at 10 ways to change beliefs.
- Intention. The method of switching attention. The focus of attention is not on the belief, but on the task or intention.
- Overriding. The inclusion of a word containing a different connotation in the belief.
- Effects. Attention focuses on the consequences of beliefs.
- Analogy. An analogy is sought that gives a different meaning.
- Resizing the Frame. We change the meaning of beliefs or bring them to the point of absurdity.
- Another result. The focus is on other results or criteria.
- Model of the world. Reassessment of beliefs through correlation with another model of the world.
- Reality strategy. The basis for the reassessment of beliefs are the events that led to their appearance or internal perceptions.
- An opposite example. Generalization is challenged.
- Application to yourself. The person communicates the rules (beliefs) addressed to other people, you need to apply them to the author.
The introduction of new beliefs will be effective if there is complete confidence that they will benefit the person.
Do you need NLP in everyday life?
For some, NLP is a tool with which you can: stop fighting with your girlfriend, move up the career ladder, improve relationships with loved ones. In this case, we are talking about the development of abilities.
Changing life principles is the foundation of the NLP technique. Working with the beliefs, values of a person within the framework of technology presupposes the formation of a highly integrated personality. The person becomes effective. His forms of embodiment, forms of behavior, principles and beliefs are of a creative nature, expanding and developing experience.
NLP contributes to a better understanding of other people, comfortable delivery of information to opponents. Teaches you to hear, see and feel the interlocutor, speak with him in his language. Helps to protect against aggressors and manipulators, forcing us to do what we don’t want.
By changing beliefs, NLP contributes to the acceleration of human development and forms the ability to sort perception, which allows you to learn the accuracy of decision-making.
Thus, using NLP techniques, it is possible:
- normalize relationships in the team;
- develop self-confidence;
- increase self-esteem;
- activate motivation;
- concentrate the body's resources;
- learn to understand human behavior;
- change the thoughts and behavior of others.
To do neurolinguistic programming or not? The answer to this question lies within the person himself, it is tied to his values and beliefs.
If a person is not satisfied with his current image. If it is ready for change, then NLP is one of the proven working tools.
In recent years, all over the world, in various spheres of social activity, such a method of influencing the human psyche as neuro-linguistic programming, or NLP, has been increasingly used. The theoretical and practical foundations of NLP are presented in various monographs.
NLP methods widely used in business, politics, education, medicine, advertising and other spheres of public life use various techniques designed to change the chain of mental processes leading to a particular form of behavior, to change the strategy of human behavior. For this, a rich arsenal of means is used to penetrate the unconscious of a person, designed to ensure good contact during work, in particular, to "merge" with him, making, if possible, a single whole with this person. These actions are called synchronization or adjustment in NLP.
However, long-term practice has shown that various specialists who use NLP methods in their work, much more often themselves experience serious changes in well-being, depression often occurs, and fatigue appears. Clients also frequently experience changes that cannot be triggered by the methods used. It is clear that people interact according to parameters unknown in NLP. Experience suggested that this could be a bioenergy information exchange.
It is known from physics that when adjusting, when two or more objects are synchronized, they enter into resonance and form a single system in which the energies are "aligned". And this, in the case of people, leads to the transfer of the emotional, mental and physical state from one person to another, which is already a serious danger to the health of these people. And studies were given to assess the degree of danger of using NLP methods for all participants in this process. Research methodology
The study consisted in registering changes in the electromagnetic manifestations of the biological field (aura) of a person using the Kirlian method. The principle of this method is that the radiation of the biological field, depending on the mental and physical state of a person, has a different intensity and spectrum of radiation. This radiation is recorded on photo or film and carries information about the functioning of both individual organs and mental and physicochemical processes of the body. Observing in dynamics the change in the radiation of the human field when interacting with external factors from Kirlian photographs, one can judge the degree of their influence on the body of this person.
The condition of the specialists and their patients was recorded before, during and after the adjustment. The specialists were mainly psychoanalysts, psychotherapists, teachers, and their patients were alcoholics, drug addicts, people with serious mental and physical health problems. Some of the patients were people who did not have serious health problems, but who applied for stuttering, weight correction, or, for example, for advice. Also, studies were carried out on the changes in the mental state of consumers under the influence of television programs and films. Registration of their state was also carried out before, during and after the session.
While the patient's radiation becomes similar to the radiation of a healthy person, the therapist's powerful and light energy begins to resemble the aura of a very sick person. That is, after the adjustment and formation of a unified system, the energy of the specialist and his patient merges. Having become a single whole, they take over the mental and physical state from each other, there is an energy exchange of all vital functions. Moreover, the higher the body weight of one of the sides, the more pronounced the changes in his aura and the longer this person is in the current state, the more energetically he affects his counterpart. That is, its energy potential depends both on body weight and on the “length of time” of the disease. It fits into the laws of physics.
Figuratively speaking, the human body is like a battery or a capacitor. The more its capacity and the longer the charging time, the more changes it will cause when connected to any system. It follows from this that the child's condition can be changed much faster. A psychotherapist, having worked, for example, with a drug addict and adopting his condition, can transfer this state to a teenager who comes for advice, who has every chance of becoming a drug addict. Additional studies have shown that drug addicts have such a strong deformation of energy structures that people who are in close contact with them (what is not a fine-tuning?) - relatives, friends, co-workers often experience the same changes in well-being as drug addicts themselves. And, trying to overcome these changes, they are often simply forced to turn to drugs for help.
Even C.G. Jung wrote about his observations in the clinic: The impact that a doctor or nurse is exposed to can be very profound. I am aware of cases where, when dealing with borderline cases of schizophrenia, brief periods of psychosis were indeed "taken over", while patients during these periods felt better than usual. I even had to deal with a case of secondary paranoia from a doctor who was testing with a woman who was experiencing the early stages of latent persecution mania. There is nothing surprising here, since some mental disorders can be extremely contagious if the doctor has a hidden predisposition of a similar orientation.
So, to create a hidden predisposition of a similar orientation, it is precisely the techniques of adjustment and guidance that are used in NLP.
And not only mental disorders can be contagious. Observations have shown that many diseases are transmitted in a similar way, including oncology (deformation of energy structures in cancer patients is often even stronger than, for example, in drug addicts), and various life circumstances - everything that is usually called fate. That. not only a doctor, but also, for example, a businessman who uses NLP techniques as a means of communication and persuasion of partners, can easily take over not only diseases, but also a "black line" in business from their less successful colleagues.
Concepts such as TRANSFER and INVOLVEMENT are familiar to everyone who was interested in at least the basics of analytical psychology, and mean the same phenomena that are described above. However, even the authors of psychoanalysis S. Freud and C. Jung, not to mention their followers, have always considered these phenomena extremely undesirable and fought them in every possible way. And they are still fighting. The creators of NLP and their numerous supporters, in order to obtain a quick result and immediate benefit, not only turn a blind eye to these phenomena, but even elevated them to the rank of the Law. And although they then check their work for environmental friendliness, many changes in the body appear only long after, so such an environmental test is often just a meaningless formality.
Like a latent infection, NLP methods are the transmission link of many ailments and serious illnesses, and any person, be it a businessman, politician, or teacher, who uses these methods in his work, risks himself greatly and bears a serious danger to the mental and physical health of the people around him. The greatest danger is precisely those people who actively use these methods in their work.
Have you ever wondered why some people have everything and others nothing? Why are some happy in relationships, while others can't find a mate? Why do some people easily achieve their goals, while others do not? NLPers argue that everything that happens in life is a reflection of our deepest beliefs and self-identity. And this means that changing beliefs with the help of NLP can dramatically affect relationships with people, self-realization and the quality of life in general. And mastering NLP methods of influencing people, including language tricks, will help you get what you want from others.
The power of conviction
In NLP, beliefs occupy one of the highest logical levels of the mind. These are deep, not always realized values of a person, his internal motivation. The main question related to beliefs is "Why?" For example, you ask a person: "Why don't you quit this hateful low-paying job?" And his conviction answers you: “Where am I going? I can’t do anything else. ” The impact of limiting beliefs on our lives is hard to overestimate. We refuse the best opportunity because “I will never succeed”, we live with an unloved person, because “it’s better than alone”, we live in a dilapidated apartment, because “mortgages are evil”. We tend to convince people and ourselves that all our problems are related to external circumstances and other people. However, in reality, the problem is hidden in our subconscious, and the only solution is to change limiting beliefs to constructive ones.
The human brain can convince itself of anything. With the help of NLP, you can do this if you set a goal. Robert Dilts even wrote a book about it, which is called "Changing Beliefs with NLP." Remember the famous phrase from the movie: “I am the most charming and attractive”. Isn't it an NLP belief change technique? It seems that it could be easier than forming new positive attitudes in oneself. However, before attempting to change beliefs with the help of NLP, it is necessary to identify those of them that are destructive, limiting. Many beliefs are formed in deep childhood and are manifested unconsciously. The experience of past failures makes people lose faith in their abilities. Just try to observe yourself from the sidelines, noting the most common speech phrases. Speech reflects the structure of thinking, so by observing it, you can discover what limits you in life.
Influence technologies
If you can use neurolinguistic programming to influence your own thinking, learn to control yourself, then why not apply NLP methods to influence another person? You must admit that the ability to convince, to influence people is a very valuable skill. A person who is supposed to manage people by position, as well as a successful sales manager, is generally difficult to imagine without such skills. It is for marketing purposes that neurolinguistic programming is often used as a technology for influencing a potential buyer of a product or service. Many people believe that NLP is simply a collection of techniques for covertly managing people. Therefore, they are wary of this area in practical psychology. Who wants to be manipulated?
One of the simplest techniques for influencing the interlocutor is adjustment. The ability to adapt to the representative system of a person, his way of perceiving the world makes it possible to receive subconscious approval from him. Adjustment to gestures, posture, manner of speech allows you to become “your own” from the first minutes of the conversation. And if at the same time you learn to recognize the psychotypes of others, NLP techniques will work even more effectively.
Influencing a person through NLP techniques is not just the methods of covert control of people, which are used by the media to manipulate the masses. Rather, these are certain speech tricks that allow you to establish contact with the interlocutor, trusting relationships and achieve the desired results from communication with him.
Some tricks of the tongue
The use of NLP mind manipulation techniques can be compared to the performance of an illusionist, when bright costumes, the play of light and shadow distract the viewer from the essence of the focus. This is how the tricks of the language work. You listen to a stranger, and it seems that there is nothing special in him, but an invisible trust in him arises, and you are already ready to fulfill his request, agree to his proposal. An example of covert human control through NLP in action can be seen in famous advertising slogans. For example, “the new generation chooses PEPSI”. This phrase touches on the level of identity. A person who identifies with the new generation will subconsciously buy this particular soda. NLP manipulation techniques are a kind of hidden speech commands. Here are some language tricks that make it easier to manage people as an example:
- Socrates method or three agreements. The technique is based on the inertia of the psyche. The bottom line is that before you ask an important question to which you need a positive answer from the interlocutor, ask two or three questions to which he will unequivocally answer “yes”. Then, by inertia, he will continue to agree with you.
- The illusion of choice. This technique is very good for parents. The point is, on the one hand, to offer the person a choice, and on the other hand, to stimulate him to do what you need. Example: “Will you do your homework before dinner or after?”, “Will you buy the whole set or just one product?”. That is, the question of whether to do it or not is not worth it at all.
- Trap words for consciousness “you know”, “you understand”, “you are aware”. Example: "Do you realize that you become much more confident after our classes?" It doesn't matter that you didn't actually notice it at all, your consciousness is already trapped.
- The speech technique for manipulating people is "truism". A statement of reality that is taken on faith. As is the case with PEPSI. Examples of truisms: “all women prefer natural cosmetics”, “everyone says that…”, “people want to feel protected”, “Real men choose…”, etc. Do you recognize the ad headlines?
- Commands enclosed in questions. Instead of saying, "Make the music quieter," you say, "Could you make the music quieter?"
- The speech turnover "what ... so." A bunch of what is really happening with what the manipulator needs: "The longer you listen to our lecture, the more you understand the need to sign an insurance contract."
These are just some of the tricks of the language for NLP manipulation. The use of such techniques, along with adjustment, allows you to manage other people's thoughts and decisions, to receive what you want from others. The question is, is there any protection against such manipulations, how can you get rid of NLP influence? There is one simple tip that can help. Before agreeing to a deal, purchase, or offer, ask yourself the question: “Do I really need it right now?”. If a decision does not need to be made urgently, just postpone the question. Over time, your consciousness will wake up and your decision will be more conscious.
NLP for love and relationships
Many girls are interested in NLP technologies on the topic: "How to fall in love with a man?" Representatives of the stronger sex also often seek to arm themselves with NLP methods of influencing a woman. And NLPers are ready to teach this. NLP technologies and techniques for women are attracted, first of all, by the fact that they allow them to manipulate men. How effective is it? Most of the modern literature of this kind cannot be called serious works on NLP. Various brochures, brochures and books like “NLP for Happy Love” by Eva Berger describe basically the same thing and look more like recipes for self-improvement. All techniques of seduction and manipulation in them are based on a woman's ability to love and respect herself, to be confident in her own exclusivity and irresistibility. Basically, the described NLP techniques for happy love are more like games for housewives with nothing to do.
However, there are also useful exercises. For example, how to get rid of various addictions, forget past love and move on. To get rid of attachment to the former partner will help the technique "sucking". This is one of the NLP methods for removing feelings. The bottom line is to find the values that you associate with this person and mentally take them for yourself, in other words, untie these values from the former partner so that they belong only to you.
It is not entirely clear why women are interested in the topic of how to fall in love with a man using NLP. After all, every lady will surely have her own chips in her arsenal to seduce the guy she likes. Rather, men need more help in the question of how to fall in love with a girl. All known techniques are suitable for NLP seduction: adjustment, anchoring on happy moments, scrolling through the history of relationships with a happy ending in your head, visualizing yourself as an irresistible and sexy Hollywood star. NLPers also offer such a technique as "closer farther", arguing that in this way you can firmly tie a man or woman in love to yourself. Its essence is that as soon as signs of increased interest in you appear from the partner's side, you should move away a little and stay at a distance from him for some time. The lack of contact with the object of desire binds to it even more. You can use this technique several times. However, the main thing is not to overdo it, otherwise such an emotional swing and long-term retention of a man at a distance can play a cruel joke on you.
Is the game worth the candle?
How much NLP helps in love, happiness and other aspects of life is difficult to judge. Success depends on the person who uses the techniques. This is perhaps more a matter of faith and perseverance. If you once try some technique, do not get the result and immediately rush in search of other “pills of happiness”, nothing will help you at all. But if you really believe in the capabilities of your brain, you will practice the technique constantly, you will probably notice changes over time.
And instead of looking for magical NLP techniques for manipulating a man or a woman, you should think about whether such a relationship is needed at all, where we manipulate a person in order to bind him to ourselves? Why waste life energy on an alliance in which a simple request needs to be clothed in a set of verbal techniques? In fact, it will always be easy and simple to reach an understanding with a man if your values coincide with him. If in a relationship there is nothing but a sense of duty, there is no spiritual closeness, then no NLP methods of influencing a man will help. Artificial NLP manipulation is not able to maintain relationships that have simply become obsolete.
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