What is NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)? This is a fairly widely interpreted way of influencing people, which includes modeling behavior, programming thinking and mind control. And NLP is a specific area of psychology. In general, there is a lot to tell about this, but now it is worth focusing on the most interesting aspects of this topic.
History and prerequisites for the emergence of the method
Before going into details about what NLP is, it is worthwhile to turn to history. The direction itself was developed in the 60-70s by American scientists - linguist John Grinder and psychologist Richard Bandler.
Experts easily explain the principle of neurolinguistic programming. Scientists say that this method embodies the main idea of Alfred Korzybski, an American researcher and founder of general semantics. It sounds like this: all our models of the world and cognitive maps (images of a familiar spatial environment) are representations that are distorted due to the peculiarities of neurological functioning, as well as due to the limitations that are associated with it.
Scientists assure that after information enters the receptors of the five senses, it undergoes linguistic and neurological transformations. And before a person (more precisely, his brain, consciousness) himself gets access to it. This says only one thing - none of us experience objective reality. In any case, it is changed by neurology and language.
Method basis
Without studying it directly, it is rather difficult to understand what NLP is. The method itself implies, first of all, the study of the structure of subjective experience. That is, what only this or that particular person has experienced.
Neuro-linguistic programmers are primarily interested in how people pass reality through themselves and construct it. Scientists recognize that perhaps the notorious objective reality (the world that exists independently of a person and his consciousness) exists. But no one is given to know what she is, otherwise than through perception and consistently forming beliefs about her.
All books on NLP say that subjective experience has its own structure and organization. That is, for each person, his beliefs, ideas and perceptions are collected, according to the relationship between them. They are structured and organized. And this manifests itself both at the micro and at the macro level.
Scientists argue that all behavioral acts and communication (both verbal and non-verbal) reflect how a person internally structures the concepts and beliefs inherent in him. And an experienced observer is capable of working with these processes.
There is definitely some truth in this. The subjective nature of human experiences will never allow us to grasp the objective world. People do not have access to absolute knowledge of reality. All they have is a set of beliefs about her that is created over the course of life.
Principles of the method
Having studied them at least briefly, you can roughly understand what NLP is. And one of the principles sounds like this - no matter what a person does, he is driven by a positive intention, which is often not even realized. That is, the behavior shown by him at one time or another is the best available or the most correct. NLP advocates believe that finding new alternatives can be beneficial, as they help change behaviors that other people do not want.
Even in this topic, there is such a thing as rapport. It denotes a quality bond between two people. It is characterized by ease of communication, mutual trust, smooth flow of speech. In the field of psychology and psychiatry, special attention is paid to the rapports between doctors and patients. Since their presence affects the outcome of psychotherapy. Therefore, NLP specialists focus on what exactly constitutes rapport, as well as what factors allow it to be achieved and maintained in the future.
The third principle is: “There is no defeat. There is only feedback. " In NLP, communication is never viewed in the context of failure and success. Only in terms of efficiency. If the results turn out to be ineffective, then this is a reason for researchers not to be disappointed, but to seek feedback. It will determine the success of the performed actions. This principle, by the way, is borrowed from the information theory of the English psychiatrist William Ross Ashby.
The fourth principle: "Choice is better than no choice." Here's what is important for beginners to learn - NLP is aimed at recognizing "stagnation" and identifying new options for action in any situation. Proponents of the method say that an individual who is characterized not by strength, but by flexibility in the spectrum of manifested reactions, can more effectively influence something.
Fifth principle: "The meaning of communication is the received response." As mentioned at the beginning, NLP is manipulation of people in a sense. So, the main thing in communication is not the intention behind the message being sent, but the reaction caused by it in the opponent. If you start to be guided by this principle, then you can become more effective in communication. Indeed, according to the visual reaction of the opponent, one can trace how this or that information reaches him.
Mind and body influence each other
This is one of the rules of NLP. And it's hard to argue with its truth. When a person dances to his favorite music, his mood improves. If he takes a sleeping pill, the brain turns off. When a person is pushed in the back during rush hour on the subway, their central nervous system instantly reacts with irritation to this.
In all cases, what happens to the body affects consciousness. In the opposite direction, the principle also works. A person is preparing to perform in front of the masses - his heartbeat quickens. They compliment him - the cheeks turn pink, a smile arises. Bad news is reported - there is a pressure drop, tears.
What does NLP have to do with it? In the decoding of the abbreviation, there is the term "programming", which in this context means putting a certain function in the mind. So, in this case, a person must realize the power of his thoughts over the body. Put it in your mind, program yourself for this principle. And then he will understand how great his possibilities are.
Of course, many are skeptical about this principle. But NLP advocates believe that people who live by it can give orders to their bodies. Force yourself to lose weight or recover without pills, improve your mood.
Skepticism dispelled the placebo effect. There was an experiment: researchers gathered sick people and, dividing them into two groups, began to treat. Some were given drugs. Others - "dummies", placebo pills. But they did not know about it. The doctors wanted to find out what affects people - the chemicals, or their belief in the treatment they receive. According to the results of the experiment, it turned out that the "pacifiers" worked on a par with medications, and in some cases even turned out to be more effective than them.
Internal resources are limitless
This is the following rule of NLP. Each person possesses fantastic resources, but practically does not use them to the fullest. Why? Because of natural laziness.
Why read and educate yourself when you can get a smartphone and quickly google what interests you? Why try to master the skill of controlling your body, pressure and temperature when there is aspirin, antipyretics?
NLP is a field of knowledge and methods in which great attention is paid to precisely the latent potential. One of the main tasks is to find in the depths of the soul the necessary resources to achieve certain goals, find talents, and quickly master skills and knowledge. In general, all that can make life easier.
And here is the NLP rule for every day: you need to train yourself to pay special attention to people whose abilities you admire. This is the easiest way to discover and develop your hidden talents. After all, a person notices in others those qualities that are characteristic of himself! Only he sometimes does not know about it. NLP supporters are sure: if a person noted someone's giftedness or ability, was happy for its owner, it means that he has the same inclinations. He simply did not allow himself to manifest them earlier.
But this also applies to the disadvantages. A person accuses someone of envy, meanness, anger, meanness? Aren't they peculiar to him too? Probably yes. Especially annoying are those qualities that people subconsciously do not accept in themselves.
Who to be in this world is an individual decision
Probably everyone has heard phrases like: "Everything depends on us" or "You are the master of your life." But, as it usually happens, few people ponder such words, realize their meaning. And in NLP, one of the key rules sounds exactly like this: "Who a person will be - a winner or a loser - depends only on him."
Everyone is the creator of their own universe. Ruler of his own Destiny. One who can "order" himself wealth or poverty, health or disease, good luck or failure. Sometimes "orders" are made unconsciously.
Some will grin skeptically, others will find hundreds of refutations and arguments against this statement, the rest will ponder. But you need to remember that we are talking about NLP - a technique for manipulating people and their own consciousness. Sometimes, some people start to arrange their lives so recklessly and even aggressively that the phrase "I can!" becomes their hourly motto. And they are achieving truly amazing results.
Because these people believe in their own strengths and in themselves, take responsibility for their Destiny upon themselves (realizing that they do not create it, but not karma, bosses, higher powers, government or circumstances), and also are engaged in the disclosure of their inner potential. They carry out major work on themselves every day. NLP does not need to be viewed as a pseudoscientific technique. These are motivations, attitudes, the study of one's consciousness, a constant process of self-improvement. This is where strength is needed.
Technique # 1: creating an anchor
Many people are addicted to NLP and manipulating their own minds. Mainly because they want to be ... happy. People come to neurolinguistic programming with the hope that they will be able to "tune" themselves for a good life. And it is possible.
The vast majority of us have / have moments when we are absolutely happy. The pinnacle of bliss, so to speak. Life goes on like clockwork, everything works out, there are no obstacles, desires are fulfilled. It is a pity that this is not always the case. But what prevents you from remembering this state, and constantly returning to it mentally?
This is one of the key techniques in NLP. We must remember our blissful state, called "resource", imagine the range of feelings experienced at that moment. When they become as bright as possible, you need to anchor. It can be anything - a snap of your fingers, a slight pull on the earlobe, a gentle squeeze with the palm of the shoulder. In general, the main thing is that it is a gesture available for implementation in any situation.
The exercise must be repeated. It is blissful to remember your feelings and to set the chosen "anchor" at the peak. Here the goal is simple - to form a certain conditioned reflex. When it is possible to achieve it, then the person, with the help of his anchor, will experience the whole gamut of those emotions and feelings. And this skill really improves the psychological state under dreary, sad, unfavorable life circumstances.
By the way, the "anchor" can be replaced with an object. The reflex is additionally developed on the basis of associations. But then you will need to carry it with you constantly.
Technique # 2: impact on others
Many people want to master manipulation with the help of neurolinguistic programming. There are many NLP techniques to help influence others. But they are all based on the specifics of speech, the construction of sentences, address, attitude towards a person. So, here are just some of the NLP techniques to help influence people:
- The three consensus method. It is based on the inertia of the psyche. The principle is as follows: before you voice an important question, to which you need to get a firm "yes" from the interlocutor, you need to ask him three insignificant, light, one hundred percent implying a positive answer. Having agreed several times, he will continue to do it inertially.
- The illusion of choice. A tricky NLP manipulation technique. On the one hand, a person offers a choice. On the other hand, it encourages the respondent to do what he needs. For example: "Will you buy the whole kit or part of it?"
- Trap words. They tenaciously "catch" the consciousness of almost every person in the network. For example: "Do you feel confident after our classes?" And it doesn't matter at all that the person did not notice it. His consciousness had already fallen into a trap, and he thought, began to seek confirmation of the question asked.
- Affirmation of a positive reality taken on faith. For example: "Well, you are an intelligent person, you will agree with this." And the opponent is no longer interested in arguing, since by this he will question the fact that he is smart.
- Command questions. Something that few people will reread. For example, not “Turn down the music”, but “Does it make it difficult for you to slightly muffle the sound?”. The first option sounds more honest, but it looks like an order. When voicing the second, the illusion is created that the person takes into account the opinion of the opponent, since he asks him in a polite manner, and does not force him. This cannot be denied.
- Turnover "what ... so ...". A bunch of what the manipulator himself needs. For example: "The longer you drive this car, the more you realize that you want to become its owner."
And these are just some of the effects that NLP techniques have on a person. But all of them can be resisted by a person who understands this topic, and who knows that manipulators are everywhere. It is enough just to ask yourself the question: "Do I really need this?" Consciousness will immediately react with arguments.
Advertising sphere
It contains tons of examples of NLP. Good videos, slogans, billboards evoke such a reaction from the consumer: I see à I want à I buy. They can be based on values - that which represents holiness to the target audience. Images of elderly parents, grandparents, family, lovers, home comfort ... all this puts pressure on the consumer's sensuality.
Submodalities are also one of the foundations of NLP advertising techniques. The emphasis is on kinesthetic, auditory and visual perception. Everyone knows these videos. Well-chosen angles, the effect of distance and approach, dynamic development of the plot, exciting music ... everything is used to make the consumer feel like a part of the advertisement. Such a context easily awakens the appetite, calls for action, makes you feel like the owner of the advertised thing in reality.
Another effective technique is truism. What is taken from reputable sources can be said. Something that will not cause distrust. For example: "Approved by the World Association ...", "Doctors recommend ...", "Made in Germany", etc.
Setting goals for SMART
This method is also directly related to NLP. The abbreviation SMART reflects the criteria that must be met by a person's goal to achieve. So this:
- S - specific.
- M is measurable.
- A - attainable.
- R - relevant.
- T - time-bounded (relationship with specific terms).
A person, writing out a goal for SMART, programs himself in the most direct way. Here's an example of what a thoughtful mindset might look like: “What do I want? Own business, open your own establishment. What is needed for this? Earn start-up capital, draw up a plan, possibly take out a loan for development. What are my options for this? Ambition, promising work and early success - this means that you can set a goal above the limit of possibilities. Why do I need my own business? This is an old dream, and desires must come true, plus everything, I will work for myself, and have the prospect of developing the sphere in the future. How much time do I have to prepare? 2 years".
This is just one example. In any case, the compliance of the goal with these criteria will increase the likelihood of its implementation. In simple terms, in order to change something in life, you need to have a clear idea of what you want specifically.
By the way, it will not be superfluous to read some books on NLP. In particular, those that were written by the founders of the method. It is recommended to read their work entitled "The Structure of Magic" in two volumes (1975 and 1976). You can also read the book "Changes in the Family", written jointly with the American psychologist Virginia Satir.
Also worthwhile is the NLP Practitioner. Written by Bob Bodenhamer and Michael Hall. This book is interesting both for beginners in the topic of NLP, and for people with skills in this area who want to improve them.
Modern psychology can help any woman in establishing emotional contact with a man, and some of her methods even allow men to fall in love with herself and make them learn how
Note: Material from this article at first It may seem difficult to understand, but after reading it again, you will understand that there is nothing complicated in these methods.
NEUROLINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)- a rapidly developing area of applied psychology, offering simple and affordable ways to influence the subconscious that any average person can master. More recently, NLP methods were classified and used only by special services, now these techniques are available to everyone. The use of NLP makes it possible to effectively interact with other people, influence them, understand and accept their vision of the world around them.
Rapport
In our hectic time, people have become emotionally closed, and communication has become a formal process, often leading: either to the "use" (material, sexual) of one person by another, or to unsuccessful attempts to "use" each other. The consequence of this is the emergence of an atmosphere of mutual distrust and vigilance, which had a detrimental effect on the personal lives of both women and men.
How to return richness to communication and depth of feelings? How can you ensure the mutual understanding and trust that are essential for the development of a relationship? How in a short time to create a favorable opinion of yourself and establish emotional contact, allowing you to get to know a man well and get closer to him so that an ordinary acquaintance can develop into something more?
NLP gives the following answer to all these questions: it is necessary to consciously build a "bridge" that harmoniously and equally connects the subconscious of a man with your subconscious. It is the harmonious connection of the unconscious partners that gives those feelings of deep trust, understanding, closeness, unity, mutual sympathy and responsiveness, without which there is no full-fledged communication.
In NLP, this connection is called "rapport" ("Rapport", translated from English, means "agreement", "harmonious relationship", "mutual understanding." In terms of professional hypnosis, rapport is called the connection between the hypnotist and the hypnotized).
A rapport is a way to explain to the subconscious of another person that you share his thoughts, experience similar feelings, take into account his interests and understand his state. At the same time, you remain an integral person, observing your own interests.
The rapport is very important for making a good impression. It gives lightness, openness and naturalness to communication. Relationships with rapport elements are distinguished by mutual respect, mutual agreement, and deep mutual affection.
Accession
A good way to establish rapport is the process of "mirroring", which is the alignment of certain details of your behavior (body position, rhythm of movement, breathing, voice) with similar details of the interlocutor's behavior. In NLP, this action is called “joining” or “tweaking”. Moreover, "adjustment" is not a primitive imitation, but a sensitive, not striking, reflection of the partner's behavior.
By adjusting to posture, body language, breathing, speech, and tone of voice, you can establish rapport with almost anyone. You can also join through feelings, showing interest, participation, tolerance, respect for the experience, knowledge and qualifications of the interlocutor, and his character traits.
An explanation of the reasons for the occurrence of the phenomenon of adjustment lies outside the scope of this book, and we will not go into them (by adjusting to your interlocutor, you, in fact, enter into a kind of resonance with him). The adjustment "works" - and this is the main thing!
Reflection of body position. You sit down or stand just like your interlocutor. The reflection of the pose can be direct (i.e., mirror) and cross (if your interlocutor has his right leg thrown over his left, then you do the same). You can also adjust to the distribution of body weight.
Replaying the person's pose is a simple and straightforward adjustment technique. And yet, despite the availability, this method requires some skill. A primitive and explicit “mirror image” can lead the other person to pay attention to him and think that you are mimicking him, and this will lead to a loss of contact.
Matching the rhythm of movements. You can blink with the same frequency as the interlocutor blinks, nod with the same frequency as he nods, swing your foot in the same way as he does, walk in step with him, etc. to the rhythm of the interlocutor's movements, any movement of its own is performed. For example, by moving your partner's hand, you can adjust with weak movements of your hand, and respond to the movement of his body with a movement of his head. Whenever your interlocutor strokes his forehead, you can lightly tap your finger or pen on the table, or in response to any movement of the interlocutor, indicate the beginning of a similar movement. Such an indirect adjustment must be performed correctly and almost imperceptibly.
Respiration adjustment. In its direct form, it consists in "adjusting" the speed or frequency of one's breathing to the breathing of a partner. It is a very effective method of influence.
If the other person's breathing rate is very different from yours, you can:
When he breathes very often - for every two of his exhalations, do one of his own;
When he breathes too rarely, try to fit his two breathing cycles into one of his, while every second exhalation of yours should coincide with the exhalation of your partner.
It happens that direct connection to the breathing of the interlocutor is fraught with difficulties caused by different types of breathing in men and women (for many men it is abdominal, and for most women it is pectoral). In this case, you can use indirect attachment, for example, moving your finger to the beat of breathing, shaking your leg or head.
An interesting way to reflect the movement of your partner's breathing is to adjust your speech to match his exhalation. The fact is that a person always speaks as he exhales, and any phrase uttered by you at the moment when the interlocutor exhales will be perceived by him almost as an analogue of his own speech, and he subconsciously will accept what you said much more favorably. This technique is used with success by many hypnotists.
Adjustment through speech. Adjusting the tempo, rhythm and speed of your speech, the timbre and volume of your voice to the person you are talking to and listening ability is another method of establishing rapport. This is also facilitated by the repetition of words, expressions and professional terms that he most often uses in conversation (the use of the same words always strengthens trust and mutual understanding, since a man begins to think that you and him have the same views of the world around him).
Do not speak faster than the other person can listen - this hinders the establishment of mutual understanding.
Other methods. Attachment methods are very effective, using the movement of the pupils of the eyes and taking into account the type, the so-called representative system of the interlocutor (representative systems are the ways in which a person receives, stores and encodes information in his brain: pictures, sounds, sensations, smells and tastes). We will not cover such sophisticated tuning methods due to their relative complexity. If you are interested, we recommend that you refer to the specialized literature on NLP.
Do not use a large number of adjustment methods, as this will require a large expenditure of your attention, and it is necessary for the correct conduct of the conversation. Sincere (!) Interest in your interlocutor and genuine (!) Attention to him is the simplest and, at the same time, the most reliable way to establish trust and mutual understanding!
Maintaining
The rapport assumes an equal interaction of the subconscious partners, but since it was caused by you consciously and, therefore, can be controlled by you, then you are in a stronger position than a man. This advantage should be used.
Beforehand, you need to make sure that the attachment to the partner (by breathing, posture, movement, or something else) has happened. To do this, change the position in which you are sitting or standing. If your partner has involuntarily adjusted to this change, then you should change the rhythm of your breathing or gestures and see how the man reacts to these changes. If there is an obvious "mirroring" (that is, the partner began to automatically adjust to the rhythm of your breathing or your gestures), then you have joined securely, and you can "lead" your partner (lead is one of the main terms in NLP).
The fact that you are able to "lead" a partner indicates interest in you, sympathy on his part and a subconscious tendency to accept your actions and your point of view without any criticism or resistance. In other words - "Mirroring" by a man of your postures, movements, speech features speaks of his agreement with your behavior, your ideas, desires and assumptions. You have, in fact, hypnotized your partner and you can carry out your intentions for him!
Using anchors
Probably, every person has moments when, having heard a certain melody, he begins to experience positive emotions associated with memories of pleasant moments in life, during which this melody sounded. So, for example, you can remember a date with a loved one that happened many years ago and was accompanied by memorable music. And now, hearing this music again, you remember everything that happened then, the forgotten feeling of falling in love and romantic thoughts come back to you - the associative mechanism, which in NLP is called an "anchor", has been triggered.
An anchor is one of the elements of a physical and emotional state, which can subsequently act as a stimulus that causes a similar state. An anchor can also be any external influence on a person who is in any special memorable physical and emotional state, which, being rendered again, can cause a repetition of this state.
Anchors can be formed naturally, or they can be installed on purpose. They are:
auditory (a sound signal, some special words or phrase of a loved one, a catchy melody, etc.);
visual (photography, certain linen, gesture, chocolate packaging, etc.);
kinesthetic (touching, stroking, etc.).
In addition, a specific taste or smell can act as an anchor.
Anchors are formed:
By repetition. When something is experienced by the subject at a low emotional level, it takes a lot of repetitions to associate the anchor with that “something”. Moreover, the less emotions the subject experiences, the more repetitions are required for memorization. For example, a mother will have to spend a lot of time for a small child to understand that a red traffic light means danger.
Through emotional involvement. When the emotions are strong enough, it is often enough once to set the anchor. (The child runs into a red light and almost gets hit by a car. The horror he experienced will instantly and permanently write down in his subconscious mind what his mother tried to instill for a long time.
Exactly this "Anchoring"(at the moment of the highest experience of emotions) is used in NLP. If you learn how to correctly capture and track the emotional states of people (in NLP this is called calibration), then it will not be difficult for you to apply this technique. By the way, using "anchoring", anyone can "capture" their own emotions. For example, being in a state of elation, you can clench your fingers in a certain unusual way and, subsequently, exactly repeating the same clenching, get a similar state.
The technique of "anchoring" requires a subtle and graceful approach, since the installation of the anchor should be completely invisible to the person in relation to whom it is being carried out. In addition, at first it is rather difficult to determine the true emotional state of the subject (the use of adjustment can help in this). Therefore, it will take some time to fully master the "anchoring". However, it makes sense to spend this time, since the use of this technique allows at the right moment to evoke the necessary emotions in the man in whom you are interested.
Here is a typical example of an anchor setting technique:
You come to work, and a male employee for whom you have certain feelings is in high spirits because of the victory of your favorite football team yesterday. You congratulate him and, at the moment of congratulation, gently squeeze his elbow (put a kinesthetic anchor). Subsequently, it will be enough for you to repeat the same compression, and it is quite possible that the man will experience similar feelings of joy, and since all this will happen in your presence, he will subconsciously connect his positive emotions with you.
Similarly, you can apply this technique to anchoring your loved one’s sexual experiences. For example, at the moment of your partner's orgasm, put a kinesthetic anchor (you can, for example, squeeze his wrist), and if you suddenly notice that your beloved has begun to cool towards you, use this anchor. The result will be in your favor!
When you feel that sexual contact can be especially intense (your desire is great and your partner is extremely sexy today), put on some special, memorable underwear - let it become a visual anchor for your partner. Repeat this several times, and, subsequently, the very sight of this underwear will greatly arouse your partner.
TRANSFER METHOD
The human brain is able to retain sets of memories of those individuals who in the past have had this or that influence on us. Subsequently, the perception of any new person is consistent with these memories. This happens, for the most part, on an emotional level. For example, if in the presence of a new acquaintance you feel negative emotions, similar to those that you experienced earlier in the presence of other people unpleasant for you, then you subconsciously begin to consider this person as “bad”. You kind of transfer your attitude, which you showed towards those unpleasant personalities for you, to a new object.
Transfer Phenomenon
Transference (transfer) is a spontaneously arising attitude towards a person, characterized by an unconscious transfer to him of feelings that once arose towards other people.
Even Freud noticed that in some cases the patient transfers to the physician's personality feelings for people and events, experienced earlier, or experienced at a given time. Freud put it this way: "... we notice that the patient, who should be looking for a way out of his painful conflicts, shows a special interest in the personality of the doctor ..." (Sigmund Freud, "Introduction to Psychoanalysis", lecture no. 27).
Freud found that his patients fell in love with him or began to hate him when they shared their thoughts and feelings, and he listened to them, deliberately questioning and not objecting. Such a transfer took place even if these feelings had subsided long ago. Freud called this transference, and considered this phenomenon as a phenomenon inherent in any human relationship and manifested not only in a psychotherapeutic session, but also in everyday life. In fact, the doctor himself becomes a kind of "anchor" for the patient. It is enough to conduct several sessions, in which the patient is immersed in his love experiences, and now the very personality of the psychoanalyst is associated with these experiences in the patient, and he begins to experience certain feelings in relation to the doctor.
Using the phenomenon of transference, you can improve your relationship with a man, or even make him fall in love with you. To do this, you just need to become a psychoanalyst of your friend and encourage him to talk about his hobby, while trying to make the man feel all the positive emotions associated with his love. This will lead to the fact that he will transfer to you a significant part of his love experiences (Warning! Do not fall into the trap of negative transference, in which negative emotions associated with the man's former (current) beloved will be transferred to you - talk only about the good!) be afraid that your pride will suffer, as the effectiveness of the method pays for all the moral costs associated with it!
Some people avoid such a conversation, because they think that they will also have to talk about their previous love affairs. This is a delusion - in this situation it is much more important for a man to pour out his own soul. Than to fit into yours.
Falling in love transfer technique using neurolinguistic programming
Create an environment conducive to seduction (soft lighting, appropriate music). Make sure that no one bothers you and cannot interfere (be sure to turn off the phone and the doorbell). Try to keep the intimate setting not too artificial and obvious. Your clothes should also not hint to a man about possible intimacy.
Immerse a man in an atmosphere of trusting and benevolent communication - create rapport. To do this: show genuine interest and genuine attention to him, adjust to his posture, breathing, movements, etc.
Encourage the man to talk candidly about his past or present love. Conduct a conversation in such a way so that the state of love associated with the former (current) lover returns to him... Focus the man's attention exclusively on the positive aspects of this experience - speak only good things about his beloved and his feelings for her!
Try it adjust to his state of love - listen to the man with warmth and empathy.
Begin to gently and quite “harmlessly” touching the man, gradually expanding the touch zone and making them more intimate (but not too much!). At the same time, do not forget to sincerely admire him, linking this admiration with his beloved. If she does not share the feelings of a man, then you can say something like this: “You are so strong (beautiful, sexy, etc.). What pleasure she would have experienced with you ... ". When saying this, you must be as sincere as possible! Try to get a feel for everything you say!
When you see that you have securely "joined" your partner and can "lead" him, use the situation as you see fit!
As soon as the man's positive emotions associated with his ex or current lover reach a maximum, set a kinesthetic anchor: hold him by the elbow, touch his wrist, or stroke his head, arm, leg in a certain way. Subsequently, when you find yourself in a suitable situation, use the anchor, and your partner will automatically enter a state of pleasant experiences, captured by the anchor, but this state will no longer be associated with his past or present love, but with you!
In the future, the very recreation of the environment in which the man told you about his beloved (with the same music, which is actually an auditory anchor, the same lighting, etc.) will lead to a positive result for you.
REINFORCED TRAINING
Reinforcement learning (RP) is an effective method of shaping the behaviors you want. Its correct application leads to the fact that the man is happy to do what you are interested in, because he knows that you will somehow reward him for it.
The OP method is a modern version of the well-known "carrot and stick" method, which, by the way, is used by most people completely incorrectly. Many "educators" use only the "stick", completely forgetting about timely encouragement, although the use of the "carrot" as the predominant instrument of influence is more reasonable and much more effective than the use of the "stick". This is largely due to the fact that the reward immediately forms the desired behavior, and the "whip" does not even hint at how to behave. In addition, almost all educators act as "carrots" and "sticks" out of time, encouraging or punishing only after something is done. The correct punishment will be at the very beginning of the action, which must be stopped and the immediate encouragement of the desired actions.
Reinforcement. Reinforcement is a signal that tells the student that he is on the right track, or that he is making a mistake. (This signal can be perceived by the "student", but can only be perceived by his subconscious). Experts distinguish between positive reinforcement (PP) and negative reinforcement (RP).
PP is something pleasant (smile, affection, sincere praise, delicious food, etc.) added to the situation immediately after the subject being trained has done or has done what you want. The PP activates the pleasure center of the brain, in which information is instantly recorded about why the subject receives this pleasure.
OP (not to be confused with punishment) is what the student would like to avoid (your grief, disapproving facial expression, irony, inattention). It shows that unwanted behavior needs to be stopped right now at this point in time. Experiments have shown that a weak OP works much better than a strong one. A very effective OP is depriving the subject of something pleasant (for example, a child is deprived of sweets). Do not deprive a man of sex - this will no longer be negative reinforcement, but a punishment that can return like a boomerang to you.
Variable (variable) reinforcement. If a dolphin is encouraged by a fish for every jump it makes, then it will become lazy and will not jump high. To prevent this from happening, trainers use variable reinforcement (VP), which means that not all jumps are encouraged, but only the best, and even then, not all.
In the relationship between a man and a woman, the EP “works” very well. For example, the main secret of the attractiveness of any "bitch" is her intuitive ability to variably reinforce the actions of men. An intelligent representative of this category of women first lures the "dolphin into the pool" with a large portion of "fish" (that is, she binds to herself with special sexuality, affection, attention, "warmth", etc.), and then very skillfully doses the "feeding", seeking from the "dolphin" (ie from the man) what she needs, actually doing emotional and (or) material "gutting."
To control a man's behavior, it is not at all necessary to demonstrate bitchiness (a bad "smell" always comes from her), you just need to master the technique of the correct supply of reinforcement. It's very simple. 
First, you show some warmth towards a man, expecting signs, attention from him and a little encouragement for them, then the encouragement becomes more significant (depending on his behavior), then the usual encouragement becomes variable (obviously encouragement-indifference). (Female coquetry is actually a kind of variable reinforcement.)
It should be noted that in a large number of happy married couples there is a variable reinforcement of the relationship between spouses that supports this relationship.
in a constant "tone".
Unfortunately, the length of this manual does not allow for a comprehensive presentation of the reinforcement learning methodology. For a more detailed study, you should refer to the excellent book Karen Pryor "Don't growl at the dog").
Gregory works as a salesman in the electrical goods department. An elderly woman came to his department. And she began to carefully examine the display case with electric kettles.
He closely watched the actions of the customer. She walked around the entire display case, examined several teapots. At that moment, when she lingered about one sample, he slowly approached her. And he asked: "Does she like this model?"
The woman looked up at him. Holding the kettle in her hands, she answered: “I don’t like the kettle, its body is made of too thin plastic”. Grigory looked at her sympathetically and said: "As I understand it, you want to buy a kettle, the body of which will last a long time?"
"Yes!" - she answered in the affirmative.
Gregory lightly took the customer by the elbow and, directing the movement, led her to other models. Said, “Pay attention to these teapots with a metal body. Exactly the same kettle I have at home for four years now. Works great".
He noticed a certain alertness in his gaze and her elbow, which was in his hand, tensed. Gregory realized that this model was too expensive for the client.
He calmly removed his hand, stepped forward a little and loudly so that his voice was well heard, said: "I can offer you this model."
The customer, having heard the voice of the seller, approached the new sample. And Gregory, without wasting time, said: “True, his case is plastic, but the price is lower, and most importantly, the manufacturer gives a guarantee not for 1 year, but for 3 years. The goods must be replaced free of charge within three years. "
After waiting a few more minutes, he asked: "What kind of kettle would you buy - with a metal case or the one that you watched last."
Result: the woman bought a teapot with a three-year warranty in a plastic case and was very pleased!
To change the buyer's mind in his favor, the seller used the NLP technique.
What is NLP? Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a model of communicative interaction between people based on the modeling of their experiences.
The "neuro" particle is associated with the processing of information that enters the brain from the senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch).
The term "Linguistic" defines the connection with linguistic systems (verbal and non-verbal), their use for understanding ideas about the world and communication.
"Programming" - information processing. Psychological software changes thinking and actions as a result of a reboot (uninstall, install, update).
NLP is a young science. It appeared in the second half of the twentieth century thanks to the scientific psychologists Richard Bandler and John Glinder. Observing the ways of thinking, perception, motivation of actions, they identified common features in the processes of thinking and perception. Developed a model based on the relationship between information perception and behavior. They proved that the degree of information perception can change human behavior.
The typical model formed the basis for the creation of effective, positive forms for controlling thoughts, changing and correcting them. The newly formed thought-forms create new beliefs and make them take the necessary actions to advance towards the set goals.
The essence of persuasion technique
When choosing an action, a person is helped by views and beliefs. For example: an important belief is to improve your own qualifications. Therefore, a person reads special articles and monographs, goes to the library, attends seminars. The belief in the need to communicate with children makes parents devote more time to them.
Changing beliefs also changes the behavioral foundations of the individual. A sweet and harmless child in childhood, a person changing beliefs in the direction of radicalism can kill another person. Piously believing that his actions are beneficial.
Thus, in order to change a person's behavior, it is necessary to change his beliefs.
Changing beliefs is a delicate process. You can't just take and convince someone to give up one action in favor of doing another. You can force from a position of strength. From the standpoint of reason - no.
When beliefs change, the brain corrects the reaction to a familiar situation, and the behavior changes. The following factors contribute to a change in beliefs:
- interaction of people with each other;
- communication process;
- time (age periods);
- acquired life experience;
- world outlook.
For example, in childhood everyone believes that Santa Claus exists. In my youth, that this is the love of my life. These beliefs seem ridiculous today. This process is inevitable. In the process of life, beliefs are revised. People have convictions in all spheres of life, some they would like to change. Changing beliefs with the help of NLP is one of the ways to self-know yourself and change for the better.
NLP Applications
The NLP technique is used in different areas of professional activity:
- educational;
- advertising;
- psychotherapeutic;
- psychological;
- in the field of sales;
- in the activities of special services.
Know the techniques of NLP should: psychiatrists, psychologists, managers, educators, PR specialists, marketers and employees of special services.
NLP techniques are widely used in psychotherapy when solving the following problems:
- various phobias;
- suffered psychotrauma;
- conflict situations;
- psychosomatic syndrome.
Advantages and disadvantages of the technique
Ten Ways of Neurolinguistic Programming - Language Tricks
Beliefs are the rules of human life. They determine the behavior of a person, his position in life, prohibitions and permissions. Along with useful necessary rules, there are senseless ones that hinder the development of the advancement of the individual. The speech method - language tricks - will help to get rid of or change them. Changing beliefs with the help of NLP is quite rapid and productive. The scope of application of the tricks of the language is wide:
- negotiation;
- therapy;
- "Elimination" of an unnecessary client;
- A "rift" in a limiting belief;
- consolidating an expanding belief.
Let's look at 10 ways to change beliefs.
- Intention. The method of switching attention. The focus of attention is not on the belief, but on the task or intention.
- Overriding. The inclusion of a word containing a different connotation in the belief.
- Effects. Attention focuses on the consequences of beliefs.
- Analogy. An analogy is sought that gives a different meaning.
- Resizing the Frame. We change the meaning of beliefs or bring them to the point of absurdity.
- Another result. The focus is on other results or criteria.
- Model of the world. Reassessment of beliefs through correlation with another model of the world.
- Reality strategy. The basis for the reassessment of beliefs are the events that led to their appearance or internal perceptions.
- An opposite example. Generalization is challenged.
- Application to yourself. The person communicates the rules (beliefs) addressed to other people, you need to apply them to the author.
The introduction of new beliefs will be effective if there is complete confidence that they will benefit the person.
Do you need NLP in everyday life?
For some, NLP is a tool with which you can: stop fighting with your girlfriend, move up the career ladder, improve relationships with loved ones. In this case, we are talking about the development of abilities.
Changing life principles is the foundation of the NLP technique. Working with the beliefs, values of a person within the framework of technology presupposes the formation of a highly integrated personality. The person becomes effective. His forms of embodiment, forms of behavior, principles and beliefs are of a creative nature, expanding and developing experience.
NLP contributes to a better understanding of other people, comfortable delivery of information to opponents. Teaches you to hear, see and feel the interlocutor, speak with him in his language. Helps to protect against aggressors and manipulators, forcing us to do what we don’t want.
By changing beliefs, NLP contributes to the acceleration of human development and forms the ability to sort perception, which allows you to learn the accuracy of decision-making.
Thus, using NLP techniques, it is possible:
- normalize relationships in the team;
- develop self-confidence;
- increase self-esteem;
- activate motivation;
- concentrate the body's resources;
- learn to understand human behavior;
- change the thoughts and behavior of others.
To do neurolinguistic programming or not? The answer to this question lies within the person himself, it is tied to his values and beliefs.
If a person is not satisfied with his current image. If it is ready for change, then NLP is one of the proven working tools.
Psychology is developing rapidly, and today you can even find methods of influencing an NLP man. With their help, a woman can make a man fall in love with herself and establish an emotional connection, which is extremely important and useful in a relationship.
Neuro-linguistic programming will help a woman fall in love with a man and establish an emotional connection with him
Practical Psychology Methods
Neuro-linguistic programming is a progressive direction in practical psychology. It explains how you can influence the subconscious of a person in order to change the situation and his attitude.
There is a tendency according to which, in most cases, communication between people is of a formal nature, and people themselves are emotionally closed from other people and the world around them. In such an environment, relationships begin to take on the character of "using" a person - both material and sexual. This leads to the fact that the personal life of both women and men develops in an atmosphere of tension and mistrust.
For this reason, the girl begins to torment a whole series of thoughts and riddles. This range includes the following:
- How to make communication in a new way rich?
- How to restore the former depth of feelings?
- How to ensure mutual understanding and trust, which are extremely important for happy love?
- How can you leave a good and favorable opinion about yourself in a short period of time?
- What is the way to establish emotional contact with men and develop a simple acquaintance into something more?
NLP provides a clear answer to all of these answers. The solution to most of the problems that arise during a pickup and the development of relationships is to build a kind of "bridge" through which the partners' subconsciousness is evenly connected. Only such a harmonization of the unconscious in both partners gives all the feelings and emotions that are necessary for the full-fledged communication of people.
This kind of connection in NLP is called rapport. Translated from English, this concept is interpreted as "consent". Synonyms for the definition can be called "mutual understanding" and "harmonious relationship".
With the help of rapport elements, you can not only leave a good impression of yourself, but also make a man fall in love with you. In communication, there is ease, naturalness, openness and mutual affection.
Neuro-linguistic programming helps a woman leave a good impression of herself and bring ease, openness, and mutual affection into communication
Accession
A good and extremely effective method of establishing rapport with a partner. In NLP, it is interpreted as a kind of "mirror image", which subsequently leads to the use of certain behavioral details in accordance with similar details of the partner. For this method to work and not provoke a backlash, you need to proceed with caution, sensitivity and almost imperceptibility. Otherwise, joining will be no different from primitive imitation.
Joining can be done in many ways, adjusting your behavior to various subtleties and features of the behavior of the man with whom the dialogue is being conducted. Each of them has its own subtleties of execution and features that should be taken into account.
Reflection pose
The main task of a person is to take the same body position as the interlocutor.
In this case, you can reflect the pose both directly and crosswise. An example is the cross-legged pose. If the interlocutor throws his right leg over his left, then the person applying the reflection can do the same by applying the cross reflection of this pose.
These techniques are fairly straightforward and simple. However, their implementation requires a certain skill. If you make the adjustment too explicit and primitive, you can lose contact with the interlocutor. He will think that he is just being mimicked, and this will cause a repulsive reaction.
Correspondence of the rhythm of movements
This method of matching to the partner offers a wider variety of application options that can be used to make the rapport process itself less explicit.
The most common examples of such adjustments are:
- Blinking frequency.
- Head nod frequency.
- Swaying your legs.
You can also mirror your partner's movements with your own. For example, the response to stroking your forehead is to tap your fingers or any other movement. This adjustment is called indirect. As in the case of adjusting the posture, it is necessary to act correctly and almost imperceptibly, so as not to draw undue attention of the partner to their actions during communication.
Breathing adjustment
In the literal sense, it is the adjustment of the frequency or speed of your breathing to the breathing of the interlocutor. Techniques like these are extremely effective at forging an emotional connection in relationships that are just getting started.
Breathing tuning is an effective technique for forging an emotional connection in relationships that are just getting started.
If the difference between the breathing rates is too large, you can use one of two options:
- With frequent breathing of the partner, it is necessary to make one exhale for two of his exhalations.
- If it is too rare, try to fit two of your own breathing cycles into one cycle of your partner, combining exhalations.
This method is difficult to apply due to the physiological characteristics of breathing. Breathing in men is more related to the stomach, while girls breathe in their breasts. If the breathing does not work out, you can use alternative versions of this rapport setting, the effectiveness of which is no less high.
One of the methods of seduction by NLP is to adjust your speech to the exhalation of the interlocutor. People speak during exhalation, so the phrase said on his exhalation will make the person perceive information more openly. The reason for this is the perception of the spoken words as analogous to their own speech.
Speech adjustment
These methods of establishing rapport with men consist in the fact that the girl adjusts the basic characteristics of speech to her partner. When certain characteristics change, attention and favor can be obtained from a partner, which has a positive effect on the establishment of an emotional connection.
When applying this adjustment, changes are most often subject to:
- Rate of speech.
- Rhythm and speed.
- The timbre of the voice.
- Volume.
It is equally important to show the art of listening to your interlocutor. Such techniques can work if, during the conversation, the girl is not embarrassed by the use of the same words, definitions and terms that the young man uses. This will indicate that the interlocutors share similar considerations and positions, which will help to establish contact.
There are other, more complex NLP techniques in love. But you need to be very careful with their use, since they require much more skills, knowledge and skills than those described above.
You should not use several techniques at once. When communicating, it is important to pay sincere attention to your partner. And numerous techniques will scatter this attention. The easiest way to show genuine interest in the person himself and the conversation, trying to keep the conversation going without unnecessary distractions, than just 11 programming techniques.
Maintaining
Leading techniques are the next step in techniques for influencing men. Before starting to "lead" your partner in the right direction, it is worth making sure that the rapport is reliably established. This is easy to do. Having changed the position, you need to observe the reaction of the man. If the young man begins to mirror the movements of the girl, this indicates that the attachment was successful, and you can begin to "lead".
The ability of a woman to carry out this technique is evidenced by the interest and sympathy shown by men. This also indicates that a person is subconsciously inclined to accept the point of view of his interlocutor without complexes and special contradictions.
- Formation of anchors.
- Transfer of emotions and emotional states.
- Reinforcement learning.
The competent application of these tricks allows not only to fall in love with a man, but also to maintain a relationship with him in good shape for many years. Love that is properly maintained and rekindled does not die out for a long time, but flares up even more from time to time.
Conclusion
NLP for happy love can help girls solve their problems, overcome insecurities and complexes.
Simple yet powerful ways are used to get attention, get the right attitude, and even model your partner's behavior.
This harmless way of manipulation will not only allow you to get the attention and love of a man, but also teach girls how to properly maintain their relationship in good shape. If you want to be happy without breaking a man, use NLP for men with skill and true feminine grace. This technique is multifaceted, exciting and powerful in all circumstances.
NLP or neurolinguistic programming is a subdivision of practical psychology, the main task of which is to create techniques and methods of influencing people.
Today it has become quite popular to learn how to influence others. There was a need to study new directions that would effectively influence a person, but NLP arose, first of all, as a way to enhance the influence of a psychotherapist on a patient.
Probably, the question involuntarily arises: what about the aesthetic side of this technique? Of course, the techniques and methods of NLP allow many to improve the effectiveness of their own performance. But, if you are fluent in NLP and use the achievements of this science to suppress another person, there will be no excuses for you.
Manipulation techniques
A technique called the "deposit trap". This method has become very popular due to its effectiveness. If you force a person to invest their own strength in a certain type of activity, then later it will be difficult for him to quit this activity.
Reception of three "yes". If you ask a person questions to which he definitely wants to answer positively, then after your unexpected question, the answer to which you also expect in the same, affirmative way, there is a high probability that you will get consent.
Reception of "mixed truth". Most people who are not familiar with NLP use this technique intuitively. Include in the conversation the theses, the veracity of which is easy to prove or verify. In the conversation, you can add a little bit of a few insignificant facts, which will also be taken on faith with a high degree of probability. You can try to adapt to the interlocutor, in this case, the person will begin to feel more trust in you.
Techniques of influence with the help of speech
To gain confidence in the interlocutor, you should start a conversation with a common truth that has a neutral connotation. Your opponent must completely agree with her.
If your goal is to point the person to a certain action, then do not name the task directly, but simply link it with what the interlocutor already intends to do in the future. If your son doesn't want to take out the trash, just program him by telling him that after the walk he will take the trash can and go with it to the nearest container.
The interlocutor should be given the illusion of choice. If you want to get agreement, pose the question as if your opponent has already answered in the affirmative.
If you do not want to engage in a discussion of an unpleasant issue in a circle, install a block on this topic. You may notice that you have discussed the question completely, so do not drag out the conversation.
NLP and human impact
Remember the basic principles, without which it is impossible to understand human nature. Everyone has the resources to get things done. If the desire is huge, and the perseverance is strong, you can achieve the result on the first try.
Communication entails an increase in the number of future alternatives, and we strive to choose the best one for ourselves.
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