Surrogacy. There is an opinion that such methods of solving the problem of infertility are unnatural. On the other hand, is it more natural to remain a childless woman all her life? The doctor of medical and theological sciences, head of the Society of Orthodox Doctors of St. Petersburg, rector of the Church of the Icon reflects on this topic Mother of God"Sovereign" Archpriest Sergius FILIMONOV.
A good deed will not be called a surrogate
A good business will not be called a surrogate. After all, what is a surrogate? A surrogate (Latin surrogatus - put in place of another) is a substitute that has only some of the properties of the replaced item; forgery, falsification. The Council of Bishops in 2000 examined the issue of surrogacy and clearly determined that the Russian Orthodox Church does not accept surrogacy, since such a solution to the issue of infertility is completely unnatural and sinful. Why? Let's figure it out.
The first option of surrogacy. The wife's egg and the husband's sperm are taken, and the baby is born in the womb of a stranger. It turns out that the husband is as good as sinning with someone else’s woman; simply put, he is a bigamist...
Second option. If a husband is infertile, his wife’s egg is taken, donor sperm from other men is taken, and all this is planted in the womb of a certain woman. It turns out that genetically this is a completely alien child, raised in a foreign organism. And if you trace such surrogacy along the chain, then it is possible that the child has three fathers and two mothers at the same time... Then who are his biological parents? - the one who carried it, or whose biological material it carries within itself? After all, he also carries the genetic information of his surrogate mother, since he feeds through her blood. It turns out to be terrible incest, in which up to five people can take part.
Third option. If a woman is infertile, it means that her husband’s sperm and the surrogate mother’s egg are used. And it turns out that the husband has a child from his mistress. That is, the very birth of a child is sinful, he is illegitimate. By the way, this method was used even before the revolution. A barren wife sent her husband to a healthy young girl. The girl conceived, and then the born child was bought. But how many cases are known that men then left their wives and married a woman who bore them a child? Consequently, families collapsed, and this is a sin.
The psychological aspect must also be taken into account. There are many cases of litigation when a surrogate mother does not want to part with the child she carried. According to the law, it is taken away by force, and the woman begins to have nervous disorders, because the child that she had managed to love was taken away from her: from the moment of conception to the moment of birth, the child is fixed in her mind as her own.
Fourth point. Surrogacy increases the risk of mixing genetic material. After all, it is impossible to find out whether your chosen one (bride or groom) is a blood relative. A child born by a surrogate mother can marry the natural child of his surrogate mother or a child born from the same biological donor father. In essence, brother and sister are getting married. As a result, physical and spiritual deformities may be born. It is not for nothing that the Church observes the rule that marriage between blood relatives is inadmissible.
Take the breviary of Metropolitan Peter Mogila: half of the breviary is devoted to diagrams and calculations of blood relationships, so that, God forbid, this blood intersection does not happen anywhere. This was the 15th century, but even then they already knew that incest leads to the degeneration of a nation. For example, the former Samaritan peoples who lived in Israel. Now there are about 200 of them left, because they have developed incest and incest. Thus, life itself showed how incestuous people degenerate. Here in Old Testament We read about Lot’s daughters: “And the eldest said to the younger: Let us therefore make our father drink wine, and sleep with him, and raise up a descendant from our father... And both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father” (Gen. 19.31,32,36 ). But even there they already talk about the dangers of this. Alas, now we often have to face the fact that cousins they marry cousins, uncles marry nieces. But if a couple comes to get married, the priest first of all asks: are the bride and groom related? And if it turns out that they are blood relatives, they are denied a wedding.
Fifth point. Not long ago, a terrible incident occurred in Brazil. The woman could not give birth to a child, and then her mother took the genetic material of her daughter’s husband and became a surrogate mother. It turns out as if a son-in-law sinned with his mother-in-law. And here’s the question: who is this child for her - a granddaughter or a daughter? And the child himself ends up with two mothers, one of whom is also a grandmother... Absurd! Therefore, of course, the Church cannot bless incestuous methods of resolving infertility.
In addition, surrogacy is performed for money, the subject of sale is a person, which in itself is a crime.
Childlessness is a cure for evil
- But is it natural for a woman to remain an empty flower?- Holy Bible says that this is completely natural. Remember the words of the Apostle Paul: “To the unmarried and to the widows I say, It is good for them to remain as I am; But if they cannot abstain, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to become inflamed” (1 Cor. 7.8,9). But the first is higher than the second. If a woman remains childless or has lost her husband, this must be accepted as a vital cross, which is saving for this particular woman. St. Nicholas of Serbia in his “Thoughts on Good and Evil” has golden words: “God is fair to every person, knowing the properties of the fog that covers his soul. He puts everyone in a position in life in which that fog can most easily be dispersed by light. If that fog represents a tendency towards pride, God will place the newborn soul in a very modest life so that the soul gets used to humility and is thus cured of impending pride. If that fog represents self-love, God will put you in a position in which there is more opportunity to sacrifice yourself for the good of other people. If the soul is prone to despair, God will place it in the midst of the most intense work, where it is difficult to give way to despair. If a soul is born with a tendency toward carnal lust, God will put it in a position in which lust cannot be easily satisfied." That is why it so often seems in this world that no one is in the right place. And the Lord offers His grace-filled medicines for every created soul , curing evil. Therefore, childlessness is not evil, but a position in which the Lord puts a person to be cured of his inner evil. But if people show dissatisfaction with what God has intended for them, they repeat Adam’s sin of disobedience.
But the husband will leave a childless woman, i.e. will commit a sin by destroying the family. He will look for someone who can bear him children. What about an abandoned wife? Should one eyelid croak?
It is in such a situation that human loyalty and love are tested. And if the spouses are married, this test will be proof of their humility and trust in God. Therefore, the Council of Bishops says that spouses must accept childlessness as a life cross and take care of the adoption of someone else’s child... For example, parents died in a car accident, the child was orphaned. Then the Lord allows that a certain family will not have their own children, but will take in an orphaned child. By the way, I know many cases when married couple Having adopted a child, after a while she gave birth to her own. This is a gift from the Lord for their mercy.
- But it also happens that after the birth of a natural child, the adopted child becomes unnecessary, interferes and irritates.
- Yes, in non-church families, it happens that people take for adoption only to expand their living space, or as a free nanny for their children. And they receive good money every month for foster children... But such cases do not happen often, and we are not talking about such people now. But cases when the Lord rewarded people with his own abundant offspring for adopting an orphan are not uncommon. This is how people need to be educated. And then in our country there will be no abandoned children and no families left where no one can hear children's laughter, little feet don’t stomp, the words “mom” and “dad” don’t sound.
Questions were asked by Irina RUBTSOVA
http://pravpiter.ru/pspb/n194/ta012.htm
St. Petersburg resident Natalia Klimova alone raises Yegor, who was born a year after the death of his father.
Six-year-old Egorka calls Natalia Klimova mom. And she is actually his grandmother. But on the child’s birth certificate, a 50-year-old resident of St. Petersburg is officially recorded as his mother. There is a dash in the “father” column. Although it is known that the child’s biological father is Klimova’s son Artem. Egorka was born a year after his death. A surrogate mother carried and gave birth to a boy, and biological mother The baby became an anonymous egg donor.
Lost all my loved ones
Modern medical achievements seem fantastic: new program posthumous reproduction allows you to obtain offspring from a person who is no longer alive. In Russia, children conceived and born after the death of their fathers can be counted on one hand. Egor Klimov is one of them.
“I was a very successful and wealthy person,” Natalia Klimova told KP. — Managed a large international business, was involved in politics, social activities. I was pushed to such a crazy intense life not only by ambition, but also by a series of tragedies. I buried my mother and the grandmother who raised me. My brother was killed in a car accident. My husband died of lung cancer. Then I lost two beloved men, both were killed in the dashing 90s. All this did not break me. But fate sent me a test that was already beyond my strength. My The only son died of cancer at 21. This loss turned my life upside down. I was left completely alone, without a single close relative. The question “Why live, for whom, and for what is all this previous fuss of “money-power-career”?” has become more relevant than ever.
Two years of fighting cancer
Natalia believed until the very end that her son would be saved. In 2007, a 19-year-old medical student was diagnosed with an oncological tumor - Hodgkin's lymphoma. The disease progressed rapidly. Artem was treated by the best doctors, Natalia even turned to Professor Volker Diehl, who invented chemotherapy, which is used to treat the whole world today. By 2009, Artem had undergone two stem cell transplants, but the disease did not subside. The last donor bone marrow transplant was at the Center. Raisa Gorbacheva, but a strong reaction of rejection began.
“When his heart stopped and I saw a straight line on the monitor, my first thought was: I will definitely continue my son’s life!” - recalls Natalia Klimova. - I had such an opportunity.
On the advice of doctors, Artem donated biomaterial to a sperm bank before starting chemotherapy. Doctors warned that after chemotherapy, sperm may become non-fertile.
A few days after the death of her son, Natalia turned to geneticists to get a grandson of her own blood. There were four unsuccessful attempts to transfer embryos with different surrogate mothers. And with an egg, everything is not so simple. Natalia wanted the child to be like her son. And such an egg donor was found. For each such procedure, Klimova paid a tidy sum. Hope was fading: with each attempt, the son’s biomaterial decreased. When there was only one, the last embryo left, it was he who took root.
“The gynecologist looked and said: “The baby should be born on October 27,” says Natalia. — And October 27 is the anniversary of my son’s death!
Father's copy
And yet the child was born a month earlier than the fateful date. There were difficulties with its registration: the registry office of St. Petersburg refused to issue a birth certificate to a boy whose only relatives were his grandmother, his mother was an anonymous donor, and his father was no longer alive. The problem was resolved through the courts. And although there is a dash instead of the father’s name on the birth certificate (according to the law, it is impossible to recognize as a parent a person who died before conception), the boy bears his last name and patronymic - Egor Artemovich Klimov.
Natalia Yuryevna is amazed at how much Yegorka is a copy of her dad. For her, this is both joy and misfortune. At the age of six months, the boy was diagnosed with a huge cyst, which was located exactly in the place where his father’s tumor was. Fortunately, everything worked out fine.
“Egor had two thirds of his right lung removed, the operation lasted five hours,” says Natalia.
A year ago at the Institute of Neurosurgery named after. Burdenko Yegor had a brain cyst removed. And every time Natalia’s heart breaks in anticipation of a diagnosis: is it a tumor?
The boy grows up smart and inquisitive. He goes to kindergarten, studies in classes, and vacations with Natalia abroad.
“Egor is the meaning of the rest of my life,” Natalia admits. “I love him madly, and I don’t even think that I’m his grandmother.” Of course, I'm his mother, I feel that way. But... After the death of my son, I found myself in total loneliness. When Artem passed away, I moved away from all my previous activities. Opened my charitable foundation and I help children with cancer, I am raising Yegor. I have no relatives left. My friends fled, in fact, they simply betrayed me. There are no financial opportunities that I had, being far from a poor person. I was forced to leave the environment in which I was (where you are a friend while you are connected by something, and you are nobody when interests diverge), a complete vacuum in communication was created. I didn't expect to find myself in all alone- both physical and psychological. Half the city attended my son's funeral. From the next day - not a single call. Still. And I cut these people out of my life.
"My mom died"
Natalia Klimova did not immediately come to the idea of looking for a grandmother for her grandson. An incident prompted this decision.
“My son and I came from kindergarten, I opened the door to the apartment and... I woke up in a hospital room. I ask the nurse: “Why am I here?” She replied that I had an operation. I ask: “Where is my son?” Nobody knew anything. I thought I was going crazy. Where and with whom was the child all this time? And this is what happened. I passed a kidney stone and lost consciousness. The child began to shout: “My mother has died,” the neighbors ran out and called an ambulance. And then they took their son into the apartment, told him to go to bed, and left. When Yegorka got scared at night and ran out onto the site again screaming for help, the neighbors took him to the concierge. No one felt compassion for those left in trouble five year old boy. Nobody wanted to take him in for a while. The entire time I was in the hospital, Yegor sat in the concierge’s closet and ate nothing but crackers and tea.
“Couldn’t anyone feed him properly?”
“I then asked the concierge: why didn’t they feed the child a normal lunch?” She replied that she did not know if I would reimburse her for expenses.
Then Natalia decided: since they have no friends and relatives, Yegor should have a grandmother. Not by blood, but by spirit.
“I’m ready to invite, essentially, a stranger’s woman and invite her to become a member of our little family, a grandmother to my child,” she says. - I take this woman to full content. I composed a message and posted it on the Internet. There are 20 - 30 responses to the ad a day, but all of them are from lonely people who have lost themselves in this life, who have nowhere to live, nothing to eat and for whom everything is bad. But I'm not ready to invite any single woman. I suggest interesting life and a family for a worthy and interesting woman. A woman who is ready to realize herself in her old age by raising a wonderful boy.
Offended on a TV program
To convey your idea to large audience, Klimova decided to go on television.
“The editors of the program needed a scandal and dirt, which they are used to discussing on talk shows, but in my story there was neither one nor the other, so they were invented,” Natalia Yuryevna is indignant. - “Natalia Klimova’s plan has cracked, and she is no longer able to raise a child” - this was the announcement of the program. I was ready to sue this TV channel. During the filming, a question was even asked: don’t I want a lesbian family and isn’t that why I’m looking for a grandmother?
We live wonderfully, baby happy childhood. The psychological difficulties associated with the loss of loved ones did not affect him, I protect Egorka from this. What does it mean to be “unable to raise a child”? I’m not just a mother, I’m a psychologist who advises other mothers on how to build relationships with their children and get out of difficult situations. Yes, my own situation is rare and difficult. But I had the strength not to break.
- You are still a young and attractive woman. Maybe it’s better to look not for your grandmother, but for your husband?
“Everything is possible, but this is not the priority.” I don’t think about myself yet, my only task, meaning and aspirations are my son. I know that we need a grandmother. Read my message and you will understand.
VERBATIM
Message from Natalia Klimova:
The child needs a friend. I'm an insurer
I appeal to women over 50 years old who are single or not connected to a family, want to change their lives, move to St. Petersburg and become a full-fledged member of another family (for a long time), consisting of an older mother (50 years old) and a 6-year-old boy. Don’t be a service person, don’t work like a draft horse, but just live peacefully and help mother and child in everything that is needed in the process of life, while finding a caring family, great amount free personal time and space, and being fully supported as a family member.
Imagine that you became a grandmother in another family, and another family became your own. This is very different from working as a nanny or housekeeper. This is not work at all.
Everything is great with us, our son goes to kindergarten, we lead an interesting active lifestyle, social status— seriously above average. One problem - at the age of 50 I was left absolutely alone, without a single relative, and I am raising a 6-year-old wonderful baby. Loneliness is not the most pleasant companion in life, especially when you are no longer young, there are no relatives nearby in the form of a shoulder, but there is a little man for whom you bear enormous responsibility. Aliens people coming I don’t want to come into the house (we still have nannies and housekeepers, but there is no work for them, the child is in kindergarten all day, and on weekends we all spend time together, so there is no work here, it’s just LIFE for company with mom and boy) . I would like to have a GRANDMOTHER, but not one who comes to work, but who becomes a member of the family. It would seem that I am not offering anything special, just living, and even in someone else’s family. But if you and I become friends, you will find in us not only family and loved ones, but also peace of mind, security, a different standard of living, i.e. an ordinary life, but of high quality and dignity, without the need to run around to different jobs and look for income, with a guarantee that all your problems will be solved.
This is not a search for a free assistant. I take this woman for full maintenance. This is sometimes many times more than a nanny can afford on her salary. Maybe it sounds rude, sorry, then I’ll try to decipher: the essence is important - you are a member of our small family, whom we will treat with care and love, who does not need to worry about anything and earn a living. This means that we live together, and you don’t need to spend money on anything - I provide not only food and household needs, but also treatment, buying clothes, going on vacation, etc. living expenses. Think about it, this is exactly what you are looking for to earn money for, you just don’t immediately realize this, but I provide all this for you, and for a sufficiently high level, plus you are not alone and live in a very comfortable conditions without overexerting yourself and having a lot of free personal time. We travel together, we rejoice and worry together, we live and raise a child together, we do household chores. It’s not the salary here, this is important, because I’m not looking for an employee, but a family member. Unfortunately, this is not clear to those who are looking for work, work and more work, as it turned out from some angry responses. My proposal simply infuriates such seekers embittered by life. Apparently, they no longer believe in sincerity. Well, sorry. But I hope that not everyone is still embittered by the failures of life and in search of money and only money, that there are still women in retirement age, who, just like me, miss their family. And further. Content is not a bowl of soup, as these evil women write. I will not repeat myself, I have already deciphered what I mean by this. Read above carefully.
Of course, I will not offer this to any lonely aunty who wants to live with us. And believe me, there are a lot of people willing, I don’t even have time to respond to all the responses. However, I don't need ANY grandma. Grandmothers are different and understand their purpose in different ways, generally believing that the main thing is that the child is well-fed, shod, dressed and fed delicious pancakes. Such grandmothers, unfortunately, are not our option. We are a modern, albeit small family, I take the upbringing and development of my son very seriously, and I would like for us to have a grandmother who is the same. I would like you and me to make the child’s life interesting and eventful; in this sense, I am very diligent, active and knowledgeable mother. Just Great love, even from a grandmother, is not enough today; children need to be developed and raised (together with their mother, of course). Our grandmother is not a decrepit old lady, but an “energizer.” I'm not looking for a sweet, kind granny to hug and caress the baby. He is well-loved, and he is okay with that. I'll be happy to invite you INTERESTING woman. Because we ourselves are like that, both me and my child. I don't need a Grand Dame with a serious face. My son and I are interested in light, non-standard, emotionally liberated aunties, “with childhood in the butt.” You are not required to have knowledge of pedagogy and developmental activities, the child is quite busy in this sense, but living together means fitting into our atmosphere, and uninteresting, unemotional people with a very narrow outlook simply will not fit into our lives. Quiet, silent, very shy, slow, white-handed people with stone faces will not get along with us. They often tell me: “Well, look for a teacher.” No, dear ones, education has nothing to do with it. What matters is what you are like inside, what you are filled with, what you have learned in your life. previous life(except for discussing who is better, who is worse, who got the money from where and who got pregnant from whom...), what can you convey (as an adult) to a little person, even how you say (quietly and monotonously or colorfully and emotionally.), what kind of Your energy and whether you have that same energy that infects and pulls you along. I’m not talking about teaching a child, I’m talking about the style of communication, and this has nothing to do with your education. . But in order to be a friend to my small, but very smart, intelligent and inquisitive child, I need to be able to captivate him and lead him with some useful and interesting thoughts and deeds. He grew up in this (“always interesting, colorful and emotional”) and this makes him different from his peers. If you communicate with a child according to the principle “what do you love, what do you want” and do only that, then you are not our person. If you share the principle that you need to be an initiator with your child and invite him to experience the game different situations, master it (on your initiative, without unnecessary stupid questions) something new - you will definitely join our family. If you recognize yourself in my description, you will really like it with us. Although it's difficult, I understand living together different people. But I, as a very lonely person, am open with all my soul and will still try, maybe there will be a woman with whom we could live quite comfortably together, raise a boy and be useful to each other on the same territory.
The child is in kindergarten from 8 to 18, so you can spend this time as you want. You won’t believe it, but you are actually free and left to your own devices all day long. Before the child arrives from kindergarten.
At the same time, I am not looking for a girlfriend (please pay attention to this). For some reason, many see in my message a cry from the heart about finding a girlfriend, as if I was dying here of melancholy and loneliness and begging for a girlfriend to appear in my life. No, dear women. I just wrote that I have no relatives. I was suddenly left completely alone, lost my whole family, all my relatives, and recently buried my son. But I never even hinted that I was dying of boredom without girlfriends and was waiting for you to come and entertain me. The meaning is completely different. I'm looking for a grandmother and a family member, I want the child to have at least one more soul mate. Yes, and I need safety net, the age and health of a young mother is no longer, a common cold when there is no one around - and the child remains out of work. That is, I need a person who would move in with us and devote himself to our family, the life of my baby, and help with the housework. Now we have an hourly nanny, but her work is scraped together for 2 hours a day. What kind of nanny is interested in this? Yes, because the child is not at home for a whole week from morning to evening. ON WEEKENDS I MYSELF am free and we all spend time together. That is, there is no work at specific hours and specific days (which is a prerequisite for hourly nannies), or you need help with breaks during the day, which nannies are also not happy with. And paying just a stranger for being in my apartment regardless of time and without a specific occupation is ridiculous, isn’t it.
And not only this is the point, the point is the reluctance to have strangers temporarily staying in the house. . I have a different life situation. In short, there are no jobs here for hourly nannies. We need to live here and simply participate in the affairs of our little family as needed. Sincerely and from the heart. When needed, no specific hours. If you don’t need it, don’t participate, but still live with us. The child needs a friend. The child, not me. You are free all week, grandmother YOU are in the evenings, like in any ordinary family where there are grandmothers. This usual life in the family, with the appropriate attitude as to a grandmother. I’m not very interested in offers from people who want to just move in with me and be my girlfriend, that’s not what I’m looking for. I'm not some poor, unhappy aunt who needs to be supported morally, I'm enough strong man, although I have experienced so many tragedies that only God knows how I am still alive in this world. . For those who think that my message is connected with the lack of money, they say, they have nothing to pay their aunt, so they come up with fairy tales. I have to disappoint you: with solvency everything is fine. in perfect order, I already indicated my social status - seriously above average. But after the death of my son, husband, brothers and sisters, my mother, left in my sixties without relatives and family, I want to find a family again, only now for my baby, for me the principled position is that I am not looking for an employee, but a family member. Therefore, you definitely won’t need anything, but I don’t pay a salary (except for your personal so-called pocket money, of course). Otherwise, you immediately automatically become an employee. And the baby and I need a family.
I’ll say right away that in order for us to become one family seriously and for a long time, it is very important for me what kind of person you are “inside”; it is important for me that you have a core character. Quiet, inactive, too modest, constrained and pressed from everything new, unable to express and show her emotions, unable to be surprised like a child, laugh like a child - not our grandmother.
It is also important for me that you be adequate in life situations, not white-handed, capable and ready to help around the house, so that they know how and love to talk, especially with a child (silent ones will not get along with us.) Of course, I will not let ANY lonely person, any lonely woman into my house. Well, I hope that an adequate person can understand this without comment. I have lived a decent, interesting life, experienced a lot of tragedies and joys, so it is unlikely that we will make friends with a woman with no interests and very little education, who can only whine about her unfulfilled life.
I recently buried my son. Hard. But the baby has nothing to do with it, really. If you understand everything correctly and are ready to live in this context in our small but wonderful family, I will be happy to talk with you. Roughly speaking, if I am the mother in the house and I am the father, then we also need a grandmother with all the ensuing consequences.
My appeal is specifically to those women who do not have financial obligations to children, apartments, mortgages, or loans. When a person lived, worked as a teacher or educator, did his job, raised children, retired - and lives quietly as best he can. The pension is just worthless now, so life is hard - you need medicine, clothes, food, and a lot of utilities. I also don’t want to work like a horse after 55 (and being a nanny is not an easy job, although many people think it’s easy money). I would like to just live and enjoy life for my own pleasure, because I have already worked hard in my life. But the pension doesn’t give you much, you won’t enjoy it much. They don’t get a lot of jobs—they’re not the same age anymore. And there is still a lot of strength and energy. This is my proposal for such women. Become a grandmother. And the grandmother would be required to perform the usual functions of a grandmother - keeping the house comfortable and clean, and helping with the child. That is, I suggest that after retirement a woman begins (or continues) a normal full life, only in new family, at a decent level, where she will not need anything. I would like it forever (since, as you understand, I won’t have any more relatives). That's the point.
You will feel very comfortable and cozy with us. And my son lives a very interesting life - we go to theaters, water parks, go out of town, often go abroad on vacation, especially in the summer, we try to spend time usefully and interestingly. Sorry that I often repeat some phrases, but the experience of communicating with some respondents forces me to do this.
The child needs a friend. I need a backup assistant. The only problem may be the question psychological compatibility, this will become clear already at the first communication, I will understand it by the way you say “hello”, by your intonation, by your emotionality.
Become our grandmother and family member. For a long time. Perhaps forever. Our hearts are open for you."
WHO ELSE?
Natalia Klimova is not the only woman in Russia who found a grandson after the death of her child.
✔ Ekaterina Zakharova from Yekaterinburg became the first grandmother-mother: in 2005, a year after the death of her son, her grandson Georgy was born.
✔ In 2011, 58-year-old Muscovite Lamara Kelesheva, three years after the death of her son Mikhail, who died of cancer, became the grandmother of four surrogate babies. After the death of her son, Kelesheva waited two years to see when surrogate mother the embryos implanted, but five attempts at conception failed. Then the embryos were implanted into two mothers at once. Both carried and gave birth to a pair of twins each.
A sensational reproductive program, unprecedented not only for Russia, but also for the whole world, was recently completed in Moscow. In January 2011, an elderly Russian woman became the grandmother of 4 “surrogate” grandchildren, born exactly three years after the death of their genetic father.
In May 2005, her 23-year-old son Mikhail was diagnosed terrible diagnosis- acute leukemia. Before undergoing chemotherapy, he, as is usually done in such cases, cryopreserved several portions of his sperm. He felt better, but, as it turned out later, the improvement was only temporary. The disease progressed; to save him, doctors recommended an expensive bone marrow transplant. After the operation, his condition worsened, and after three endlessly difficult months, on January 26, 2008, the young man died. He was only 26 years old.
Mikhail dreamed of children and repeatedly told his mother about his desire to become a father. As a child, he, like many other children, lacked fatherly care and attention. As a teenager, he said more than once that he would never abandon his children and would devote all his time to them. During his illness, the young man dreamed of procreation and insisted that main value in life - family and children.
Shortly before his death, Misha even gave his mother a kind of “reproductive will” - a power of attorney to use his genetic material so that he could have a child. For some reason, Mikhail was sure that a girl would be born and even chose a name for her - Maria, named after the Mother of God, whose icon always stood at the head of his bed. He had no idea that by the will of divine providence - and the efforts of his mother - he would actually become a father - and at the same time have many children.
Immediately after the death of her son, it was as if the sun had darkened for his mother; she did not see or hear anything that was happening around. But suddenly it was as if inspiration from above had descended on her - she remembered the precious test tubes in which the fire glowed future life. The goal of her life was the birth of grandchildren, the living continuation of her son, the continuation of their lineage with her son. The only thing that helped her survive this loss was the thought that perhaps not everything was over yet, that perhaps her house would again be filled with children’s laughter.
The situation was complicated by the fact that, due to age and circumstances, a terrible diagnosis was made when young man was only 23 years old - Mikhail did not have time to start a family. The only chance for him to become a father, albeit after death, and for our heroine to finally see her long-awaited grandchildren, was the gestational surrogacy program - in combination with oocyte donation. It was necessary to find two women somewhere - an oocyte donor who was ready to sacrifice her cells, and a surrogate mother who would carry the unborn child.
The future grandmother's only wish regarding the oocyte donor was that the girl be smart. The rest, as they say, is from the evil one. So, not wanting to tempt fate, she entrusted the final choice of the donor to the doctors.
Since there was very little chance of success, wanting to play it safe, our heroine decided to use the services of two surrogate mothers at once.
You can’t imagine what she went through when she learned at the first ultrasound that each of her surrogate mothers was carrying twins! Cases of simultaneous pregnancy occurring in two surrogate mothers are quite rare, and even if pregnancy occurs, there is always a risk of spontaneous reduction, missed pregnancy, or simple miscarriage - it is very difficult to carry twins to term. But fate favored the future grandmother in everything - both girls carried their precious load without any problems, and in January, in one of the Moscow maternity hospitals, with a difference of two days, four babies were born at once - three boys and one girl, who, of course, was named just as her father wanted, Maria.
The joy of the newly-made grandmother is overshadowed only by the fact that she still has not managed to obtain birth certificates for her grandchildren - one of the Moscow registry offices refused her registration of four newborn Russians, citing the fact that only married couples can use the services of a surrogate mother in our country.
In accordance with current Russian laws our heroine has the unconditional right to be recorded as a mother on her birth certificate. This is confirmed by numerous decisions of various courts, which have always defended the interests of single people who want to become parents through surrogacy. This is how it should be in the case of a single woman who took advantage of the surrogacy program to become a mother. This is exactly what the first two “surrogate” grandmothers in our country decided to do - Ekaterina Zakharova and Natalya Klimova.
She also has the right to establish the origin of the children and the paternity of her son through the court and become the guardian of her grandchildren. In this case, the column “mother” in the birth certificate will remain empty. But the “mother-grandmother” does not want a dash to appear on her children’s birth certificate.
“I’m happy,” says our heroine. To all women who find themselves in the situation that I experienced, I wish only one thing - to find the strength within themselves to gain grandchildren after losing their children. God - and science - help them!
Looking at her reflection in the mirror, Tracey, 55, could see her baby kicking under her T-shirt. It was an unusual pregnancy. Most moms make a lot of sacrifices for their children, but Tracy definitely stood out among the rest. Her 32-year-old daughter Kelly endured several grueling IVF attempts, each time ending in miscarriage. Mother and daughter were close all their lives, and even in their youth, when other teenagers went out at night with friends, Kelly preferred to spend time with her mother. Tracy was a little worried that the beautiful young woman was not happy in her personal life, but her daughter ended up meeting her future husband at work. “She met Aaron at work at a hair salon. He was the brother of Kelly's colleague. I immediately realized that he was the One for my daughter.” Kelly and Aaron got married three years later, and Tracy was sure she would soon hear good news about pregnancy. Kelly tried to get pregnant for six months, but nothing worked. Then the couple went to the doctors, who said that their chances of conceiving naturally make up only 1%.
“It broke my heart to see poor Kelly go through IVF and two miscarriages. The doctors could not understand what was happening. It was incredibly painful for all of us when it happened the third time,” says Tracy.
The family took Tracy with them to their next doctor's appointment for moral support. “I told the doctor that I just couldn’t go through another miscarriage. The thought of losing a child is too difficult, so we asked about other options,” says Kelly.
Huge gift
The doctor mentioned surrogacy, and Tracy immediately asked if she might be a good candidate? She had never thought about it before, but suddenly she knew it was right. The doctor replied that this was possible after a series of clarifying tests. They returned home, invited Tracy's brother to visit and held a family council. “I desperately wanted to help and was not afraid for the condition own health, I just wanted Kelly and Aaron to have a baby. My pregnancy with Kelly and her older brother Kyle was seamless. I was healthy, I was ready to help,” says Tracy.Tracy passed all the necessary tests, and a month later the doctors gave the green light to start the experiment. Amazingly, even though Tracy was going through menopause, she was still able to carry and give birth to a baby if she used a donor embryo and received proper hormone therapy. “I couldn’t believe what was happening when my mother offered her help. Of course it is incredible deed and at first I was worried about her health, but after all the tests it became clear that it would not harm her. I was happy; she gave us an invaluable gift,” says Kelly. Tracy started taking hormones, and the embryo implanted after the first transfer.“I took a pregnancy test and immediately took a photo and sent it to Kelly. She called and we both screamed for joy. The realization that I was pregnant with my own grandson hit me hard,” says Tracy.
Perfect pregnancy
Kelly and Aaron went to all their doctor's appointments with Tracy, and a month into the pregnancy, Aaron came up with a name for the baby, Kelsey, whether it was a boy or a girl. It is a mixture of the names Kelly and Tracy. In the first trimester, the “surrogate grandmother” suffered a little from morning sickness, but later the problem disappeared and her stomach began to grow. Then the family announced the good news to everyone.“Everyone was so caring, they just wanted to make sure I was okay. By this point I felt great, my belly began to grow. At my age, feeling the life growing inside is... a real gift. It felt great and I was happy to let strangers rub my belly,” says Tracy. “When I felt Kelsey's first kick, I was on the phone with my daughter. Such a wonderful coincidence. Although we constantly talked on the phone, I told her about all my feelings,” Tracy recalls. Kelly also sought dialogue with her mother to support her. “I wanted to be with my mother all the time. Yes, from time to time I dreamed of carrying Kelsey myself, but if I can’t do this, then my mother best person in the world for this. She’s the only one I trust one hundred percent,” Kelly said.
It's a girl!
Kelsey was born on January 6, 2016 as a result of surgery C-section. The baby was immediately handed over to Kelly. The grandmother-mother recalls the first time she saw her daughter and granddaughter together. “When Kelsey was placed in my daughter's arms, I felt a huge sense of relief. Kelsey was healthy, I did my job, I brought her into the world and gave her to my daughter,” Tracy says. 
Today Kelsey is one and a half years old, a restless child who already knows that her grandmother raised her in her tummy. Tracy couldn't be prouder to carry her little granddaughter, and Kelly says she's forever indebted to her mom. “My mom and I have always been close, but the birth of Kelsey took our connection to a new cosmic level, I will always be grateful to my mom.”
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