How to become a merciful person. How to be kind

Laws modern life dictate to us their own rules of survival. In conditions when everyone must literally fight for their place in the sun, qualities such as kindness, politeness, and compliance have faded into the background. It is believed that in order to develop yourself as an individual, you need to have business acumen, be assertive, stubborn and arrogant. A series of endless workdays, scheduled literally by the second, a large flow of negative information, the desire to “not miss out” - all these factors in the near future become a firm guarantee of apathy, nervous breakdowns and even depression. Is it possible, with such a rhythm of life, to remain a calm and balanced person without losing the most humane traits of your character? Of course it is possible, but with the right approach.

How to become calmer?

1. Create a schedule for your life.

We strive to do everything at once, often taking on an unbearable burden. We rush, we make mistakes, we miss opportunities. As a result, we have unfulfilled plans, dissatisfaction with ourselves and problems with nervous system. Way out? No matter how paradoxical it may sound, try to live slowly. Find time for proper rest, alternate mental and physical work, do not give up family traditions, keep in touch with family and friends.

2. Find yourself a hobby.

Doing what you love will help you take your mind off the hustle and bustle of everyday life, calm down, think and draw certain conclusions. Just don’t convince yourself in advance that you can’t do anything and nothing will work out. If you don’t like handicrafts, you can study the art of photography and enroll in courses foreign languages, encroach on the basics culinary arts. After just a few sessions, you will notice how much it helps you calm down and put your thoughts in order.

3. Filter information.

Don’t watch news broadcasts every half hour, refuse to communicate with people you find unpleasant, and don’t take criticism (especially unfounded) to heart. Focus on what is really interesting to you: watch good old films, visit exhibitions and concerts, go to a cafe with friends, go on picnics. Positive emotions contribute good mood and leave no room for unnecessary worries and fears.

How to become kinder?

1. Learn to give thanks.

Everything you have is because of other people. Learn to say a sincere “thank you” to people who helped you at a certain stage in your life.

2. Be more tolerant of other people's shortcomings.

There are no ideal people. You also have your shortcomings and not entirely positive features character, however, this does not prevent your family and friends from loving you and accepting you for who you are. Focus your attention on the positive, don’t dwell on old grievances, learn to forgive and let go.

3. Do good every day.

Do not be indifferent to other people's problems, try to help whenever possible, especially when you are asked to do so. Start small: help your neighbor's grandmother carry a heavy package to her apartment, feed a stray puppy, sign up for a charitable organization and provide all possible help those in need.

In order to remain a calm, kind person, you must first love yourself. Arm yourself with a positive attitude, don’t dwell on past grievances, and take the actions of others more easily. Love life, appreciate your loved ones, respect those around you, and your actions will soon return to you a hundredfold.

A person's life is filled with negativity. There is so much bad that sometimes it’s hard to breathe. And although people lack tenderness and kindness, few of them think about how to become kinder and calmer.

It’s hard to imagine how often you have to judge people, get angry and swear. At the same time, for everyone individual case justification provided. People consider the reaction to be justified. By defending a position, they hide the negative.

It’s better to help the people around us for free. How nice it is to walk along the streets of the city, rejoice at the new day and enjoy the singing of birds. And what pleasure do the rays bring? gentle sun.

If you found yourself on this page, you realized that you want to become kinder and are striving to do the right step towards happiness and joy. I assure you, advice and psychology will help.

Some people think that becoming a kind person is impossible. There is some truth in the statement. But, do not forget that in a person, regardless of physique, age and social status there is a seed of kindness.

I will tell you how to become a patient, attentive, affectionate and kind person. With the help of recommendations and step by step instructions you will change your life for the better.

• Help people with advice and action. If a stranger helped, express your gratitude. Believe me, he will be pleased to hear “thank you.”
• Don't judge the people around you. Even if you want to criticize someone, try to do it softer.
• Treat everything with understanding and avoid conflicts. Not everyone understands everyone, and not everyone will understand you. Wasting energy and time on useless quarrels is pointless.
• Give compliments. As for errors and shortcomings, do not notice them. Focus on the positive traits.

Video instructions

Don't forget that kindness is a whole concept. If you are kinder, the whole world will be kinder to you. And living in such an environment is easier and more pleasant than in an atmosphere of tension and stress.

Let's become kinder to people

If a person treats the people around him well, it is easier and happier for him to live in the world, and people treat him the same way.

Everything in the world is closely connected. Invested kindness sooner or later returns, increasing many times over. Therefore, everyone should have the knowledge of how to become kinder to people.

Life without goodness is boring and dull. It is accompanied by stress and negativity. In such conditions, it is impossible to find a guy or build a relationship with a girl. Therefore, if there is a lot of negativity in life and you do not want to live your life alone, take action.

1. If you think that you got everything you have on your own, you are mistaken. Believe me, other people also participate in building success, although their contribution is invisible. Thank people who help.
2. Express gratitude verbally. Warm feelings will appear in the hearts of friends who hear “thank you” from you. If you don't have the courage, express gratitude to yourself.
3. Look only for the positive in the people around you. Everyone has flaws, but that doesn't mean they're unworthy of love.
4. Strive to be a patient and understanding person. Everyone has a view of the world, concepts, and a value system. If a person is different from you, treat him with interest, since every meeting is an opportunity to complement, expand or change yourself.
5. Do not conflict under any circumstances. In a certain situation, you can shout and prove your opinion in every possible way, but it is useless. Remember, life does not stand still and instead of quarrels it is better to start creating bright and kind things.
6. Do good deeds every day: help grandmothers cross the road, express love to your mom, buy a friend a gift for February 23, or help dad in the garage. Giving warmth to the world, you will receive it back in more.
7. Be kind to yourself. How you treat your personality determines how people treat you. Only inner world along with harmony ensures a peaceful and harmonious life.

Video tips

Working on yourself will improve your life, fill it with colors and sensations. Take action and people will be kinder to you.

Becoming kinder to the guy

What could be better than strong and happy relationship? However, there are times when a man stops satisfying a woman. He irritates her greatly. Sometimes a small mistake is enough for verbal dirt or kitchen utensils to fly towards a man. The little things you fight about play into life last role. Everyone cultivates the attitude of people towards themselves.

Having familiarized yourself with the material, you will have a tactical advantage that will allow you to solve the problem. Additionally, relax and look at life from a different angle.

• Thank your fate that you have a boyfriend. Remember how many times he helped and supported. If you want to get married, don't forget about this.
• Don't be shy about saying thank you to your guy. If he helped in the kitchen or did something nice, say thank you. This is a trivial matter for you, but he will be pleased. The words will demonstrate that you value the relationship.
• Try to judge the guy less often. Undoubtedly, judging misdeeds and habits is interesting and exciting. But I don’t recommend doing this. Surely you did not want to be treated in the same way.
• Carefully “filter” criticism directed towards the guy. If necessary, please advise or point out an error. You will not become kinder by pursuing the goal of offending the guy and hurting his pride.
• Treat all things with understanding, even when something does not correspond to your opinion. It’s better if you understand the guy and put yourself in his position. As for conflicts, they will not bring pleasure and will leave deep wounds in the soul.
• Don't skimp on compliments. Believe me, every man, like every woman, is pleased to hear warm words addressed to him. Although, representatives of the stronger sex do not always show this. Therefore, do not ignore his fashionable hairstyle, clothes and things.
• Remember, the results will come if you are kinder to yourself. Don't blame yourself for mistakes and failures. Move forward.

I hope the recommendations will help make your relationship with your loved one strong and happy. Becoming kinder at home is not difficult. All you need is desire. And don’t forget to do good deeds every day, no matter how small.

Only a good deed makes a person beautiful. How exactly to develop, decide for yourself. Don't deceive yourself and build your own destiny. And how it turns out will be determined by the actions and attitude towards your loved one.

How to become kinder if you are a Scorpio

Every person born under the sign of Scorpio has repeatedly wondered how to become kinder. To achieve a goal, Scorpio needs to work hard. At the same time, the struggle has to be waged with character traits inherent in nature. And winning a battle is not easy.

As practice shows, Scorpios are not evil by nature. They are characterized by a cool mind, a penetrating gaze and a lack of secrets. I would like to note that Scorpio is a self-confident person who knows well what he wants. And she achieves this.

What is more important is the reaction of an outside observer to positioning. He considers this position arrogant and cruel. But the most unpleasant trait of Scorpio is considered to be directness. It often leads to conflicts and disagreements.

If you were born under this sign, check out techniques for becoming kinder at home. Otherwise, you will find yourself in a situation where the loved one with whom you wanted to build a good relationship, rushes away with tears in his eyes.

1. Do the right thing. Only in this case will others understand you.
2. The world of Scorpio is cozy and laconic, but for others it is strange because it is closed. Share ideas and experiences with friends and family.
3. Scorpio is a kind, fair and confident person, whose actions are aimed at the benefit of loved ones. True, Scorpios often forget to make sure that those around them understand this. And this is not without reason.
4. People give preference to the warmth of the soul rather than material evidence of friendship and affection. Considering that strange behavior Scorpio is combined with directness and touchiness, it becomes clear why many advise becoming kinder.
5. Master self-analysis. Others do not have such confidence and find it difficult to communicate with a person endowed with power. Scorpios repel people with their directness and courage. Work on it.
6. Analyze your thoughts and actions, because powerful power comes with responsibility. remember, that strong man obliged to protect the weak.

Scorpios are ready to reward their enemies with their poison at any time. As for other people, they do not wish them harm.

Every Scorpio is a kind person at heart, but is unable to show it. A modicum of self-control is required to achieve the effect.

Kindness makes the world harmonious. But do not forget that absolute kindness without its opposite will not lead to good things. Strive for balance.

MOSCOW, November 13 – RIA Novosti. It is easier for kind people to find friends, cope with stress and their own emotions, increase their own self-esteem, and improve the world around them, says Vera Bulygina, head of the psychological laboratory of the Serbsky State Scientific Center for Social and Forensic Psychiatry, psychologist, and family consultant. The day before world day Kindness Day, which is celebrated around the world on November 13, she shared some rules that help a person to be kinder.

In 1998, on November 13, the first conference of the World Kindness Movement opened in Tokyo. From this day on, the world began to celebrate World Kindness Day every year. In Russia, this day was first celebrated in 2009.

1. Remember that kindness is very beneficial and useful quality. For example, kindness gives you openness to many things: towards people, events, opportunities, chances. “Kindness gives you the opportunity to become better yourself and improve those around you,” she told RIA Novosti. Bulygina has no doubt that kindness increases a person’s self-esteem, adds energy, trains the soul, and makes it easier for kind people to cope with stress and find friends everywhere.

2. Don’t compare yourself with anyone, you can never fit a person to an ideal, there is also a fashion for ideals, and it changes quickly.

3. Avoid if possible evil people. “It’s best not to be in the same room with such people, but to cross the street to the other side.

The second point, if you are forced due to some circumstances, for example, due to work, to communicate with this category of people, then you need to take the time and learn some psychotechniques that will allow you to enter a different psychophysical state, not become infected with this anger and be induced,” said the doctor .

4. Train your psyche - learn to manage anger. “When you, first of all, describe your feelings for yourself, the anger goes away. That is, at such moments you need to say what the person is in this moment feels. For example, you can say that “this situation makes me very sad and angry,” the psychologist explained.

5. Always consciously choose the emotion you will experience. After all, these are only your emotions, and you yourself decide when to “turn on” or “turn off” this or that emotion. "Often a person experiences fatigue, irritation, contempt, fear, sadness, but not anger. If the person threatening you is weak and unable to harm you, then you are more likely to experience contempt than anger. If the person is clearly stronger than you, then you “You will probably experience fear rather than anger,” the psychologist explained. Being insulted or rejected by someone who commands little respect may cause contempt or surprise. “If someone close to you offends you, you may feel sadness,” Bulygina noted.

6. Avoid toxic feelings, they are poisonous. “Such feelings include, first of all, anger and resentment. These feelings take root very deeply in the soul, they worsen health, it is very difficult to fight them, they do not lead to any decisions,” Bulygina added.

7. Don't try to change the past. “In a feeling of resentment, a person seems to be looking for a way to destroy an injustice that has already happened,” the psychologist explained.

8. Follow the rules in life that make life more comfortable and peaceful. These rules include: “No one owes me anything.” “I provide my own happiness and success.” "No gratitude is expected for goodness."

9. Do good of your own free will and without self-interest.

10. There is never too much kindness, it does not devastate the soul, does not tire, does not humiliate.

Quiz about fairy-tale and cartoon characters familiar from childhood, who were distinguished by their friendliness towards others:

To become kinder you don’t need to study at university, complete a master’s degree or attend training, just read these 9 tips and start implementing them.

1. You should develop extremely good habit always be grateful for what you have given time! Most of us have long perceived everything that they have, themselves, their entire lives and all the benefits that it provides us, as a natural phenomenon... Have you ever tried to think about how life is for those people who deprived, for example, of sight, arms or legs? So try for at least ten or fifteen minutes a day to reflect on what you already have, regardless of your own efforts, and to whom or what you simply must be grateful for this!

2. Do not hesitate to always express your sincere gratitude! It is absolutely not necessary to retain those words of gratitude that were brought to life by someone else’s actions in yourself. Never forget to speak Magic word: "Thank you!". Standing in an underground passage and listening to a guitar playing like this one, or, for example, your friend gave you her umbrella with her, because suddenly it started on the street. heavy rain? Be sure to thank her for this: she should know how much you appreciate her caring attitude towards herself. After all, sometimes the simplest and sincere words gratitude, spoken with a smile, can easily become the reason for a wonderful and inspired mood both in you and in the person to whose address the words of gratitude were actually sent.

3. Get rid of it immediately bad habit discuss anyone! You have probably known this wonderful expression for a long time: “Judge not, and let ye not be judged!” Does it bring you pleasure to understand that you are being judged for some of your words or actions? Most likely no. Therefore, you yourself never rush to sharply condemn someone’s words or actions, of course, with rare exceptions, and in those cases when it is absolutely necessary, and in the end everyone will only feel more comfortable from this.

4. You should be very careful with words of criticism directed at someone! Of course, fair comments are sometimes absolutely necessary, but don’t get too carried away. Remember: “Everything is good in moderation!” In the case when the ultimate goal of all the words of your criticism is the desire to humiliate a person, and not to gently and tactfully, or even jokingly point out some of his mistakes, then in the end it turns out that this is not even criticism, but some kind of - what slander!

5. Strive to treat all the people around you with a certain degree of understanding. In principle, almost every person has his own opinion, as well as his own view of everything that happens in this world. However, this should not create any problems for you at all in order to carefully listen to any point of view that differs from yours and even try to understand and, perhaps, even accept it. It is this manner of communication and behavior with the people around you that will help you to always be sociable and will further expand your horizons. Only people who are too narrow-minded and even stubborn are simply afraid and cannot stand hearing an opinion that is fundamentally different from their own opinion!

6. Try to compliment the people around you as often as possible. Try to concentrate your attention on everything that you like at least a little about them. And, of course, you shouldn’t pay special attention or even notice those little things and any shortcomings of those around you that irritate you. In principle, you can mark exactly what you think worthy of attention and quite appropriate: new hairstyle, makeup, some interesting details clothes, a beautiful smile... Very often, someone’s especially pleasant compliments can inspire and even bring small miracles to life.

7. Try to do as many good deeds as possible! If you are driving a car, be sure to give way to pedestrians, give way to public transport to an elderly person. After all, having done something very pleasant to someone and heard words of gratitude in response or just a smile, you yourself will feel how your mood also noticeably improves!

8. Always and everywhere try to tactfully avoid any conflict situations. Naturally, at the same time, you must make it clear that you can always stand up for yourself and for your own opinion. The point is that you should not use your precious energy for such empty pastime: save it better for doing some of your business! And YOU will notice how much faster many of your plans and tasks begin to be solved and implemented faster and with better quality! Probably, sometimes it will be much more logical to accept and come to terms with the situation that there are people in the world who will never understand and accept you, just as you will not accept them. Take this for granted, and you will immediately notice how much more pleasant and easier your life has become.

9. And finally, as usual, the most important thought. Be sure to be kind to yourself first! After all, kindness is in fact such a holistic and even indivisible concept that the way you treat yourself is the same way you will treat the people around you. Love yourself, and then they will definitely love you too!

They say that it is kindness that will save the world. But is it possible to become kinder to people if your character is not a gift and does not come with a bow. You have to, otherwise life will force you, and not in the most pleasant ways. But kindness can actually be developed.

• Strive to develop empathy. Read other people's emotions. To do this, you can simply look into the person's eyes, or you can mirror his poses. It’s just that a person’s body speaks more powerfully than all words about his feelings, therefore, by taking a similar pose or adopting a person’s tempo, you will better understand his feelings. Express your sympathy. Just tell the person that you understand him. It may be mechanical at first, but over time you will learn to truly sympathize and empathize.
• Learn kindness from fairy-tale heroes and animals. Heroes folk tales- this is the standard of how to be kind. No matter how cramped the heroes were in the mansion, they were not greedy and calmly let their neighbors in. Perhaps this seems naive and unfashionable to you, but it is positive. You can learn to be kinder to people from your pets. So, cats are not herd creatures, so they teach you to love sincerely, and dogs love you just the way you are. And they must learn this from them. If you get yourself a pet, then you must learn to be kind: dogs cannot stand evil people by smell. In addition, a pet is a real school of care and kindness for both you and the child. He will teach you to restrain negative emotions and be more patient, because an animal cannot be beaten or offended.
• Step into the person's shoes. This should not be done all the time, but only when you want to say something nasty to a person, for example, in response to a harsh statement from a neighbor. Stand in this person’s shoes for a moment and try to understand his condition. Look at the situation from the outside, as if you were watching a movie. This will reduce your irritability and respond adequately, without aggression.
• Be kind to yourself. Well, how can you become kinder and calmer if you are your own Cerberus? Disable your inner critic- he is really cruel to both you and the people around you. He will tell you that there are only enemies around, that no one will help you, and many other negative things. Find antidotes for all his attacks. You can even make a list: negative words of the inner critic and, on the contrary, a phrase that denies this thought. To silence a critic, you can increase your self-esteem. In addition, you should allow yourself to be ideal person, but with yourself, the real one, albeit imperfect, but with its own value.

Don't forget about self-love: pamper yourself and learn to track your feelings. This will make it easier for you to understand your neighbors: who really needs help and who is manipulating. This way you will get rid of negativity towards others. All this will help you see the positive in everyone around you.

• In general, learn to think positively. How to become kinder and calmer if you perceive everything gloomily? It is very difficult to perceive everything in a positive way, but start by at least removing the part that is not from your thoughts and replacing it with other words. For example, say not that you don’t want to get sick, but that you will be healthy.
• Be kinder to your loved ones. You can be affectionate with distant acquaintances, but aggressive with those at home. And they need your kindness and love like no one else.
• Kindness = gratitude. Try to spend a little time thinking about what or who you are grateful to in life: parents who gave you excellent natural gifts and gave a lot during your upbringing, friends and enemies from whom you learned good things. Give thanks even for negative experiences. It is equally important to remember three people or three facts every evening for which you are grateful that day. It's easier than it seems.
• Learn to give compliments. This is very interesting activity: look at stranger, find the beautiful in it and say about it. Such a communicative gift for a person.

Be prepared for the fact that the reaction to such a gift can be completely different: they can even curse you. Take it for granted. And over time, you will learn to see the beauty in all people and the compliments will be more skillful and sincere.

• Help people. If today you managed to help only one person, this day has not passed in vain. You shouldn’t expect gratitude: it will come anyway, and even if it doesn’t, then you will show the person that there are good people and over time he will believe in it. By the way, over time you will enjoy helping people and it will become a good habit.
• Do something you really enjoy. Many people are angry because they are forced to do unloved job and often for very little money. And the secret is that if you do exactly what you like, it will bring you much more money (simply because you probably devoted a lot of time to it and know how to do it) and moral satisfaction. And this gets rid of any bitterness, if anything.
• Believe in the power of a smile. When you smile, you send a positive message to the world. It comes back to you and makes you kinder.
• Take up meditation. First, try to remember all the moments when you were treated with kindness and warmth. Remember all the cases, starting from childhood. Now we sit down and completely relax. Now we visualize all these situations and try to enter that state. It is important to breathe evenly and deeply. Work through a couple of these situations every day.
• Chat with kind people. Surround yourself with exactly these people. Learn kindness from them. If there are evil and aggressive people in your environment who humiliate you and constantly lower your self-esteem, you simply will not have the resource to be kind.

Kindness - innate quality which not everyone has. But anyone can become kinder. And it will make your life happier.