Sooner or later, every person experiences the sensation heartache. It may come by various reasons, and some immediately manage to cope with the apathy that has arisen, while others plunge into depression for a long time. How to avoid the second option and help yourself?
What to do if you feel sad for no reason
If no grief has recently occurred in your life, you have not lost loved one and did not fall ill with a serious illness, then it is possible that you are really sad for no reason. In this case, it will be easier to get out of this state:- Thank your fate for the fact that now you are really sad for no particular reason, but it could have been completely different! You are healthy, not hungry, you have friends and loved ones - isn’t this a reason to get out of the blues? Maybe it’s that you are just very tired of some of your responsibilities (work or household) and you just need a good rest for a long time. Consider devoting a few days to self-care, minimizing your usual worries. If you work, take a vacation and at least a couple of days rest as you want. Often people get tired of the same type of days and begin to feel sad because of the lack of sensations. Perhaps this is your case? Then provide yourself with new emotions, and the easiest way to do this is by doing something you haven’t done before. This could be a horseback ride, an individual dance lesson, going to a concert and much more. Allow yourself to break out of your daily routine and experience something new! Loneliness can often make you sad. If you suspect that this is why you are sad, then find some company! Surely, you have a friend or girlfriend whom you can invite to the cinema or for a walk. If it so happens that you have no friends, then it’s time to make them - for example, on the Internet through forums on this topic. Also, your circle of acquaintances can expand significantly if you sign up for some interesting courses.
What to do when you feel really bad because of someone
It’s hard and you want to cry from loss (breakup, divorce, death of loved ones)
The death of a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences in life. No matter how difficult it is, it is important to understand that you just need to survive this period. The first days after a grief event, a person usually experiences shock and cannot fully comprehend what happened. A week after the tragic news, a person begins to understand what kind of loss he has suffered, which turns into acute emotional and sometimes physical pain. Mood swings, melancholy, aggression - all these symptoms are characteristic of the first year of loss. Then it gets easier. It’s stupid to recommend being distracted by something else - in a state of strong feelings You are unlikely to have the desire to do yoga or dance. However, still try not to plunge headlong into your grief. Realize that there are people who care about you and who need you. If you don't want to fall into deep depression... long years or even go to the hospital, then pay attention to the people who need you now. Get deep into your work family matters, return to a once-forgotten hobby - do at least something that will help you ease the pain of loss a little. Divorce is easier to cope with than the death of a loved one. It may now seem to you that your life is over and there will be no more light, but this, of course, is not the case. In your case, you can and should distract yourself from thoughts about divorce. Come to terms with the idea that if there was a separation, then not everything was smooth in your relationship - someone was fundamentally not happy with the other. There will still be a person in your life with whom you will be suitable for each other in all respects. Most likely, later, when you are happy, you will regret the days spent worrying about a person who is not meant for you. If you are not yet ready for a new romance and meeting other men, then just bring new emotions into your life and paints. Surely, the period of divorce distracted you from many current problems and your own appearance. Make an appointment with a cosmetologist for several procedures, visit a hairdresser, update at least partially your wardrobe. Meet with friends more often, be alone less. If you have few friends or regular meetings are excluded, then expand your circle of acquaintances by signing up for some trainings and the like.Problems in love relationships
If love relationship bring you pain, then you should think about breaking them off. Of course, parting will be a difficult stage for you, but even now it’s not easy for you. Wouldn’t it be better to get over a breakup with a guy and start moving on, rather than suffer in a relationship with him? Share your experiences with your lover, tell us what worries you, and what developments you see next. The relationship remains the same and you still suffer. Parting is the only thing the right decision for you.
6. Appearance. You pay less and less attention to your appearance. It all started with the fact that you started skipping visits to your hairdresser or cosmetologist, and now you don’t always adhere to basic hygiene rules - sometimes you’re too lazy to wash your hair (despite the fact that it clearly already needs it), renew your manicure and things like that. You take care of yourself and dress automatically, losing interest in applying makeup, choosing a wardrobe and various cosmetic procedures. 7. Lack of sexual desire. If you are in a close relationship with a man, then sex with him has ceased to please you. You do not show initiative and are reluctant to become intimate with him. You are not even in the mood to feign passion, and it seems to you that if your lover leaves you, then perhaps it will be even easier for you. 8. Apathy. You don't care about anything. You are not interested in what's new in the lives of your friends, you don't care what you'll have for dinner today, you don't care whether you look good, and many other things have also stopped bothering you.
Calm your soul with prayer
Some people note that prayers not only calmed them down, but also helped them look at their problem differently. You can just go to church and pray there. Many admit that the atmosphere of the temple sometimes has a special effect, and they leave the temple as if “renewed”. You can also find a suitable prayer on the Internet and read it in a calm atmosphere, pondering the words. It is possible that this is what will bring you long-awaited peace.Treat your soul with new sensations and acquaintances
Even if you don’t want any new experiences or acquaintances right now, depression is a case when you need to force yourself to experience new positive emotions. It is clear that now you don’t want anything at all, you are ready to wrap yourself in a blanket and never leave your room. But you deserve bright interesting life, and you will have to go to it in small steps:1) Choose a profitable and interesting tour, and go on it in the company of a friend or alone. Choose what you liked best before, do not focus on your current state. Did you previously like to go on excursions to museums and attractions of foreign countries and cities? Take a tour that includes this item. you loved more beach holiday? Go to hot country To warm sea! Undoubtedly, the trip will bring back your old emotions! 2) Don't refuse dates if men take the initiative. Perhaps one of these meetings will turn into happiness for you in your personal life! 3) Don’t avoid meeting people, but on the contrary – strive for them! Go to crowded places that involve communication - parties, exhibitions, trainings. It might make sense to take some fun courses where you can meet other people. Often public organizations They organize interesting meetings, including skydiving, ATV riding, launching night lanterns, and kayaking. If you don't have a lover, then don't neglect any opportunity to meet him - including dating sites. Register on the resource that will arouse your greatest interest, even if you were previously skeptical about such methods of communication. Bring more spontaneity into your life and depression will go away!
Before reading this text, I must warn you: deterioration in life does not occur overnight, they are the result of gradual and sometimes imperceptible processes for the brain deceived by illusions. It doesn't happen that way! and everything in life became dramatically worse. A person himself prepares the ground for this - he strengthens inadequate realities and unviable attitudes with faith, makes strategically erroneous decisions, ignores facts, etc. and so on.
First you need to understand and accept as an axiom one simple thing, which is that There are no unsolvable problems, there are unpleasant solutions. It is difficult to accept it, because in the minds of many people, a woman’s attitude toward the perception of reality, “what is true is pleasant,” “I close my eyes and all the bad things will disappear,” dominates in the minds of many people. It is with its elimination and eradication that the process of getting out of the ass into which a person has driven himself begins.
Next step– this is a sober look at reality. You cannot correct a situation / solve a problem without recognizing the facts. This is usually made difficult by the fact that the individual is accustomed to lying to himself. Freud also proved that most of our words and thoughts serve to hide the truth. First of all, from ourselves. It’s difficult to figure out your own lies and false interpretation of facts on your own, so smart people turn to those who know how to separate reality from bullshit for help.
In fact, after this step, we can consider that half the path has already been completed. Because an honest and conscious look at reality automatically puts everything in its place and a large (if not most) part of the problems falls off by itself. By the way, Allen Carr’s methods for overcoming drug addiction("most easy way quit smoking” and others).
Third step is decision making. It seems like a simple action, but it stalls in the swamp of childish infantilism generated by a woman’s upbringing. The average representative of society does not have the desire and ability to live independently, that is, to live freely - he is accustomed to others deciding everything for him: first his parents, then the school and college, then the authorities with the government and money, which the moneyphile-bred man in the street perceives as “universal.” problem solver,” they say, I’ll take it where it needs to be, I’ll pay and there’s no need to strain myself.
And this is where the mistake comes in, because active, that is, subjective life position ALWAYS involves the application of effort, and any effort requires a certain amount of tension. Otherwise it turns out as in vulgar joke: “And what did you understand, Vovochka? - Don’t relax, otherwise you’ll #boot!” True, you also need to strain yourself mentally, and not like the horse Boxer from Animal Farm, who, in the situation of the onset of another ass, constantly said the same thing: “I will work even harder.” As you know, the horse ended badly - he was sent to a slaughterhouse and soap factory. Yes, you have to work not 18 hours, but with your head.
The degree of tension, by the way, directly depends on the steepness of the solution. You won’t have to work hard to fix or even slightly tint a leaky fence, but the result won’t be particularly beautiful and won’t be very durable. But for a small person with small goals, in general it is quite acceptable. To completely reconstruct a dilapidated house (if everything is really bad in life), all forces and resources must be concentrated into a fist. Well, of course, you need to know WHAT EXACTLY do. Since, as the classic bequeathed, “a specific analysis specific situation“This is the very essence, the living soul of Marxism.”
In fact, the development and assistance in implementing a detailed strategy for overcoming the crisis is the subject of coaching and consulting work. Since this requires operations that are very problematic to do alone - take an honest look at yourself and your life from the outside, clarify your true goals and desires (understand your real, not fictitious purpose/vocation) and discard false ones, subject to critical analysis and revision of beliefs and the attitudes that previously guided me in life and which ultimately led to my ass (after all, our fate is neither more nor less, but the deployment over time of our unconscious attitudes and “game packages”). Well, and various other important things.
“Deceive the Emperor and cross the sea”
Another dissatisfied reader will grumpily say: so, they say, everything is bad, there is no health, life is not going well, debts, loans, no home, no work, in general, I don’t want to live, and then I have to spend a lot of money on the help of a trainer-consultant. I would like some free, effective advice.
But, unfortunately, there is no such thing as free and effective advice. For everything in life you have to pay. And often not with money (a virtual and renewable resource), but with much more expensive resources - time, energy, health...
There is this thing that I called "the theory of last money" and which has numerous confirmations in world practice (for example, the biography of the former poor man Peter Daniels or Edison Miranda, a homeless man who became a famous boxer). Its essence is to put yourself in a hopeless situation when “it’s either hit or miss.”
The fact is that any person always has money, even if he thinks that he doesn’t have it (here, as a rule, we are dealing with a perverted form of lying to oneself). The question is priorities. If survival is a priority, then all the money is spent on it. And a person will do only one thing all his life - survive. If the priority is a leap forward and development, then all his actions will be subordinated to these goals. Therefore, when a person invests all his money in himself, then he has no other acceptable options except to win.
The problem, however, is that the vast majority of people by upbringing have an unconscious ban on winning (hence the life-survival "victim philosophy"). But this can also be treated. The main thing is to step over own fear. Fear of finally becoming yourself, strong and free!
Date: 2015-06-02
Hello site readers.
“Why is everything so bad?”- this is the question that almost every person asks in his life. There are days, weeks, months and even years when you look at your life from the outside and see that everything in it is not as you would like. And I want to find a way out of this situation as soon as possible. This article will help you do this. Forward.
The most important thing is the beginning. The beginning will be your question that you ask yourself. Most people ask themselves: “Why is everything so bad?”. This question does not solve the problem. Everything remains the same as before or gets worse. The title of our article is What to do if everything is bad in life? And this question sounds right. If you came to this page by typing this question in a search engine, it means you are acting and thinking correctly.
A lot depends on the question. After all, when you ask a question, your brain automatically begins to look for answers. And try to feel the difference by first asking: “Why is everything so bad?”, and then . In both cases, you will find that your brain begins to think. In the first case, he will begin to look for reasons, in the second case, answers.
Here's your first task: identify the reasons why you're doing poorly with the first question, and then ask the second question to get the answers. Identifying the causes will help you solve the problem faster.
The next step is absolutely necessary. Your mind must be cool. Problems are poorly resolved when a person is angry. For some reason, we are designed in such a way that we do not see the solution behind emotions. They seem to block the view. Therefore, remember the main thing: the problem is solved much faster and more efficiently when you are calm. Under influence negative emotions You are unlikely to see a solution.
Having calmed down, you now need to start thinking about the good, that is, you need. It is no longer a secret to anyone that we attract into our lives what we think about. If you think about bad things, you attract negativity; if you think about good things, you attract positive things. Perhaps you previously constantly thought about something negative. That’s why we now find ourselves in such an unpleasant situation. It's time to fix it. I know it's hard to think about something bright when everything is bad. But if you continue to think negatively, it will only get worse.
In no case . Unfortunately, this is a problem for most Russians. For some reason, we are used to looking for a solution to a problem in a bottle, but it’s not there. When everything is bad in life, your head must be sober and cool (freed from negative emotions). This is the only way you can take your life to a new quality level. You won't be able to do this with a bottle in your hand. Alas, this is the truth.
Now you should understand that all life consists of white and black stripes. There is also a gray stripe. If you think that you are the only one of your kind who has no problems, then you are definitely mistaken. We all have bad luck sometimes, but sooner or later life gets better and sometimes it happens by itself. You shouldn't kill yourself right here and now. Better think about what you can do today to make your life better tomorrow. For example, stop drinking alcohol, start going to the gym, start looking new job and so on. By taking such small steps, you will notice how your life will soon change for the better.
There is a rare category of people who perceive failures as an opportunity to grow. For them, any unsuccessful situation is a springboard. And it will be very cool if you become just like them. This habit will make you a superman. No matter what happens in your life, you will always understand that you can only grow and move forward.
Repeat two affirmations: "Everything will be fine" And “Everything that is not done is done for the better”. These statements help you tune in to the right wave, namely the wave of luck. In addition, you feel better psychologically. Start saying these two affirmations out loud right now.
Finally, I will tell you something. I can see the future. And now I see your future. It’s wonderful, there’s a lot of joy and positivity in it. Everything you want now will definitely come true, because now you know how to behave if everything is bad in life. Ask your questions in the comments. All the best to you.
What to do if everything in life is bad
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What to do when everything is bad - what to do in a difficult period of life, when it seems that everything is falling apart
Everyone has periods in life when everything falls apart, falls out of hand and everything only gets worse.
Doors close in front of you, friends turn away, life turns into hell. And it seems that nothing good can simply happen. It can only get worse. What to do and how to behave during this difficult period of “dark streak”?
What to do when everything is very bad
Step 1 - Don't panic or get discouraged
The more we panic, the more mistakes we make, worsening our situation. Despondency and depression take away the strength to fight circumstances. Keeping a cool head is difficult, but it is the best course of action under the circumstances.
Step 2 - Don't argue with anyone
During such periods, everyone’s nerves are usually on edge and it’s easier than ever to lash out at someone. But so as not to stay in hard time One thing, it’s better not to quarrel with your friends and loved ones if possible, they will be very useful to you. You shouldn’t quarrel with people you meet on the street on a bus, etc., they just respond to your negative attitude to life. Treat people as condescendingly and with understanding as possible. This will protect you from large quantity unpleasant moments.
Step 3 - Keep Smiling
Of course everything goes to hell, but this does not mean that life ends. It just happens, something that needs to be experienced. A smile, even the most artificial one, will help you cope with your emotional state. The fact is that the position of the facial muscles is interconnected with the release of certain hormones in our body. That is, when serotonin is produced in our body, we involuntarily begin to smile, no matter how hard we try to restrain ourselves. You can also achieve the opposite success. If you put on even the most artificial smile on your face and maintain this position for 5-10 minutes, you will notice that your mood will improve significantly. This may not make your situation clearer, but it will obviously make it easier to think.
Step 4 - Believe that everything will get better
No matter how strange it may sound in our materialistic times, faith is half the way to success. Believe me, it’s not little either. By believing in something, without noticing it, you form a certain energy impulse that is released into external world. This impulse will definitely return to you in the form of a random decision, advice or assistant. This is how the special energy of our consciousness works, since the world is a huge organism in which everything is interconnected and mutually attractive.
Step 5 - Humble yourself and accept what is happening for granted
Sometimes it is very difficult for us to understand what is happening in the right light. We simply cannot know why what we basically liked and were comfortable with is collapsing. Why are such drastic changes happening? However, in order to build something stronger and larger, you must first destroy the old, no matter how unpleasant this fact it didn't seem to us.
Think back to your youth. How we wanted something and how angry we were when we couldn’t get it or do it. Remember how grateful you were later when you realized what consequences all this could lead to. But this realization does not come to regret right away. It takes time and patience. Therefore, no matter how difficult and bitter it may be for you now, just know that there are logical reasons for this.
Even after terrible storm The sun is sure to come out. The main thing is to remember this and not forget during the very middle of the abyss of unpleasant events.
Everything will definitely get better!
Obstacles and difficulties are an integral part of life. It’s bad when life itself turns into one continuous nuisance. Some people compare this state of affairs with a funny computer game. Others say that if everything were different, our existence would be boring and uninteresting.
True, sometimes, raising your head for a second from under the pile of problems that have piled up and looking around, it seems: without all these troubles, life would not be more boring, but simpler and calmer. When trouble knocks on the door, a person will least of all perceive it as fun. Usually the first thing we have to deal with in our reality is who is to blame and what to do. If in life, a person would rather dream of boring and “uninteresting” days in which there is no room for problems.
Of course, for one person, certain events will be perceived as more complex and difficult; to others it will seem like a small thing. But life on earth is not easy for anyone - all because in the depths of everyone’s soul there are hidden desires, eager to come out and thirsting for fulfillment.
And, as usually happens, the more we want something, the more painful the disappointment is in case of failure. Perhaps this is a form of torture - wanting something with every fiber of your soul and constantly being refused.
They say it is in moments like these that a person's willpower is tested. But even if you decide to test the strength of almost all life events, we suggest you consider following methods coping with these challenges. Let's see what those people do whose willpower gets an A on the life test.
After all, even powerful of the world This circumstance sometimes develops contrary to their wishes. Their dreams go to hell no less often than those of the common man in the street. Sometimes this happens due to random circumstances, sometimes the reason is competitors, neighbors, work colleagues, family members, in the end. Do you think that strong personalities tear and rush? Perhaps in the first five minutes. So, how can you follow their example if everything in life is against you?
- Take a break. Most people who have trouble in their lives would rather do the exact opposite - they will think about the problem, trying to carefully consider its aspects from all possible angles. They will begin to get more and more entangled in this endless tangle of thoughts and reasoning. Every second they are usually haunted by the feeling: a little more, just a little more, it’s worth thinking about this issue, and the solution will come... Alas. Problems are almost never solved by grinding the same issue over and over again. It only brings headache.
The harsh truth is that it is very difficult to get an accurate picture of what is happening while in the thick of it. Therefore, in order to understand what is really happening, you need to take a step to the side. The most important decisions require huge attention– but attention to the essence of the problem. The difficulty is that, being too involved in what is happening, we may not notice most important points. We find ourselves unable to pay attention to Possible Solution our problems. This is why distraction is so important.
Sometimes people forget that any life situation you can pause it, stop thinking about it, and thereby waste your precious mental energy. After all, everyone knows about words of wisdom which were written in back side rings of Solomon: “Everything will pass, and this too will pass.”
- Pay attention to what is within your capabilities. When a person is beset by problems on all sides, it can be a huge relief to solve at least some of them.
But it's not so easy difficult situation deal with those difficulties that seem minor. People who ask themselves and others “What to do when everything is bad in life?” are more likely to act in obedience to their momentary impulses. This is dictated by the instinct of self-preservation, which requires immediate action. But often, to solve many of life’s difficulties, a completely different approach is needed: sometimes, on the contrary, you need to stall for time; sometimes switch attention to other issues; and sometimes even let go of the situation altogether.
To life difficulties didn't turn into snow avalanche, it’s worth thinking about: what is in my power now? What can be done to ensure that at least some of the troubles are neutralized? Sometimes we tend to underestimate problems that are not in the foreground at the moment. However, regardless of our attitude, the algorithm for the development of troubles has one common pattern: it is easier to destroy them when they are still in their embryonic state. Let this statement be illustrated by an example from family life.
Let's imagine a woman who, for some reason, is completely absorbed in an event such as separation from her husband. Of course, such a life restructuring takes away almost all her emotional strength, and against the background of this event, everything else seems insignificant. Let's assume she can't get a divorce already for a long time, and this sluggish separation has long since exhausted the entire limit of her strength.
However, no matter how cruel life may seem, if this woman does not change her tactics and stop focusing solely on one problem, her situation may become even worse. Suppose our imaginary heroine has another difficulty that does not seem so important to her yet. For example, she may have a daughter adolescence, experiencing at this time certain psychological problems.
If you don't give her enough attention now, your daughter may drop out of university, start abusing alcohol, or even turn into a teenage single mother. As we see, the results of ignoring so-called “minor” problems can be very far-reaching.
- Bring other areas of life (at least one) to shine. This recommendation is similar to the previous one, but has a more positive basis. In this case, your actions should not concern solving problems - major or minor - but improving a certain area. In order to stay afloat during life's storms, it is necessary to perfect condition there was at least one area of your activity.
In other words, having an area of your life that is not cluttered will allow you to counter negative thoughts and emotions about another area. To create such a “shelter” for yourself, you need to determine the plane that can be least affected by your pressing problems, and start working on it tirelessly. It could be your health physical form, hobby, spiritual life, and so on.
When you see the fruits of your efforts, your mind will finally question the idea that life is a complete failure. This will help you feel like a much stronger person.
- Get rid of the position of a victim of circumstances. When everything is bad, such an attitude towards the situation will lead to nothing but its deterioration. Sometimes you need healthy cynicism, sometimes you need a sense of superiority over people and events, but the role of the victim and the behavior that accompanies it will only lead to aggravation of the situation. No matter how it turns out, we always have a choice - not recognizing it means taking the position of a victim.
If you constantly attract the same people and circumstances to yourself, you need to eventually stop implementing this type of behavior. To begin with, you can try to find role models. This will serve as a good workout. Spend time with people for whom a situation like yours is not worth a damn. Study their behavior and start following their example.
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