Forgive hard. For awareness of the problem and decisions, time is required, patience and courage. The forgiveness process of himself for perfect acts may be even more complicated. The path to forgiveness is very difficult. You will learn to forgive yourself when comprehending the self-awareness and awareness that life is a long journey, and not running for a short distance.
Steps
Practice to forgive yourself
- I feel so because of what I did?
- I feel so because I blame myself in a bad outcome of the situation?
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Please accept the fact that failures do not make you a bad person. Each person faces failures at a certain stage of his life. Do not perceive failure in work or relationship as something that makes you a bad person. Once Bill Gates said: "It is wonderful to celebrate success, but much more important to extract lessons from errors." Understanding your mistakes is the first step towards self-assessment.
Do not be afraid to start from the very beginning. To truly forgive yourself, do not be afraid to start from scratch. Learn to forgive yourself - this is not only learn to live with perfect mistakes. This is a useful experience. Take advantage of the experience gained to build a "best".
Learn to think in a new way, by aware of the mistakes of the past. One way to move forward is to adapt to new knowledge by making mistakes.
Let go of the past
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Realize the imperfection of each person. Perhaps you want to forgive yourself for action against others. First you must realize that you should not blame yourself for the actions of other people. All people make mistakes, and every person at least once in his life behaved at all right. Having accepted this step as the necessary, you will be able to start the self-describing process.
Do not dwell on the mistakes of the past. Although to make a lesson from the past mistakes will be the right step, but it is not worth loan to them, otherwise it will slow down the process of forgiveness. You will not be able to fully live in the present. Your life will stand still if you are obsessed with what has already done or did not. Instead, focus on the present and on what you can take in the future to make your life even better.
Start planning your bright future today and do not let the mistakes of the past inhibition of you. Look at this approach to life how to "correct errors and move on." If you are experiencing negative emotions because of the shocks in the past, you should focus on what you are able to control it right now.
Learn care. Awareness of your current actions can help heal in the future. If you begin to better understand yourself and accept how the valid you are currently accomplished, it will help build a better future and forgive your behavior and acts in the past.
Think about your actions in the past. You do not need to dwell on the mistakes perfect, but you have to realize them to move on.
Determine the situations in which you are experiencing strong emotions. This will help you to reveal, in which situations you feel uncomfortable. After that you can easily find a solution to the situation. Ask yourself:
- Do I feel anxiety or a sense of guilt when I come to my boss?
- Do I feel strong negative emotions when I speak with my half?
- Did I get angry when I spend time with my parents?
Goodbye yourself and your loved ones
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Impair people in your life. Derrid's philosopher once said: "Forgiveness is always an embarrassment due to the corresponding feelings: apologies, regret, forgive, with conclusions, and similar emotions." .
- Forgiveness is a bilateral street. You will not be able to forgive yourself if you do not learn to forgive others. Perhaps you will need to let in your life of other people who will help you forgive yourself.
- Communicate with close people and get their support at that time of your life when you are trying to forgive yourself.
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Note a solution or action plan. For forgiveness, you need to understand what exactly you should get forgiveness. A detailed painted plan of step-by-step actions will help focus on important things, with which you can forgive yourself and others. Take into account the following principles that will help you learn to forgive.
- Ask forgiveness with simple words. Do not go around yes about. Tell me right: "I apologize" or ask: "You sorry me?". Your words should not seem insincere or ambiguous.
- Think about how you can correct the situation. If you ask for forgiveness, ask how you can make your guilt. If we are talking about the forgiveness of yourself, then you should think about the fulfillment of the necessary actions, after which you can move on in life.
- Promise yourself and others strive to become better in the future. Apologies will be empty if you do not try to become better. Remember your mistakes and never repeat them.
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Ask for forgiveness from others. You will feel much better if you apologize to another person.
Bear responsibility for your actions
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Be honest before yourself. You must realize the wrongness of your actions before I forgive yourself.
- Useful will record all your feelings on paper. This will help determine the reason for such a negative attitude towards himself.
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Stop rationalize and justify your actions, and start response for your words and actions. This is a great way to be honest with yourself, which will help take responsibility for the consequences of their actions. If you said or did something wrong, then before forgiveness you need to realize the deed.
- Removing stress is one way to do it. The more stress accumulated in you, the more harm you apply yourself.
- Stress can lead to an emotional explosion that people hurt and others around you, but anger will leave and everything bad will remain in the past, if you can forgive yourself. As a result, you will become more concentrated on positive things.
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Think about why you must forgive yourself. When aware of the responsibility for the deeds you feel the feeling of guilt and need for forgiveness. Memories of certain situations can cause you negative emotions. To understand why you are experiencing such emotions, you should ask yourself:
Today I would like to continue the theme of forgiveness and write about the most difficult form of forgiveness - about the forgiveness of myself.
Why forgive
Forgive yourself. A person who cannot forgive and forget his past mistakes, drags the load of worries and offend, not allowing himself to go ahead. Looking back, blocks new channels.
To pour into a glass of clean water, it needs to be empty, wash, dry, but only then pour a new, clean, key water. And then it will be clean. And imagine if pour into the dirty glass of clean water, what will happen to water? And if there is already water in this glass, we will not pour anything at all.
Also, our soul is a vessel that we just need to be cleaned regularly, dry and fill with clean, key water. The only way!
Frequently asked the question: "I can not forgive what to do?", "It's hard to forgive, how to be?". I want to answer by the words of my respected Teacher of Radislava Gandapass: "Do not do anything, stay in the ass!"
So after all it turns out. People come for advice, ask for help, and when you say: Forgive yourself, let me go this mistake, forget that period - nagging begins. So why do you come and ask for help? Decide and further your problems as you solved them before.
It is impossible to move forward differently. No happiness without love, but there is no love without forgiveness!
No one said that they forgive, especially himself and their mistakes, is easy. I did not promise this to you. Forgive hard, difficult, sometimes even too. BUT. "If you suffer long, everything will definitely work out!"
So go ahead, suffer! As they say: "Through thorns to the stars!"
How to forgive
In order to learn to forgive yourself or any other person, you need to learn to understand others. To understand - it means to forgive!
You need to get off, knock yourself into my head and cut down on the nose: at that moment you did everything you could! At that moment you were in this state and in this spiritual location, and you did everything possible!
You did not want anyone evil, but even if you wanted, they could not differently. Well, you lacked your knowledge and wise at that time, understand it!
This is the most important understanding of the path to forgiveness.
I forgated myself for a long time, and sometimes there are moments for which I still forgive.
It is important to desire, burning desire to forgive himself, get rid of the insult of yourself. When there is a desire, you will use all the methods, all the features and all resources, just to forgive yourself. And you will learn to forgive. The main thing is to learn this!
I have several methods that I once used:
1. Write yourself a letter.
I will not stop in detail. She wrote about it. I can only say that the letter can be written in any form, the main thing is that you wrote by hand, and not on the computer. Re-read, and better rewrite it until you feel relieved in the whole body.
I once wrote a letter about 20 times.
2. Listen to meditation forgive yourself!
You can find on the Internet, but you can write it yourself. A small audio file, a duration of 20-25 minutes, calm music and words contributing to forgiveness. It is necessary to listen to it, too, until it comes to relief, and in the soul will not pass the feeling.
3. Conversation with yourself.
Every day, in the occurrence of unpleasant sensations in the chest, tell yourself the words I wrote above. Your task is to convince the inner criticism that you did the best at that time. You are not guilty of anything, everything happened as it happened. Everything happened for the better, because it was that the situation was able to teach you this, show you this and give you something.
4. Hoponopono.
This technique is universal and very effective. When you memorize any unpleasant event, for which you can't forgive yourself, repeat four phrases: "I am very sorry!" "Forgive me!" "I thank you!" "I love you!"
I added these phrases from myself, because it was important for me
forget and let go of the situation of past life: "I forgive myself!" "I accept myself!" "I approve yourself!" "I let go myself!" "I love myself!"
There were moments when this phrase did not just flew out of my lips, but screamed with all my internal state. After these phrases and repetitions, they were 10-20-50 times at a time, I felt much better, and then I understood that there is no more feeling in my soul in relation to this situation.
So I was able to defeat almost all my resentment!
Take a good resentment! Forget the resentment! Clear offend! And go ahead with a clean heart, a light spirit and an open soul!
P.S. I forgot to say that before the forgiveness procedure, you need to get a handkerchief. Tears will be the sea!
Those emotions and feelings that are unpleasant to us, we want to delete, forget, destroy in your memory and life, drive out of our consciousness, in one word, hide away. It is this struggle that creates internal conflict, tension, complexes, depression and neurosis. It will be about fault as Learn to forgive yourself, Following some rules.
You can learn to forgive those people who offended you, did pain. But forgive yourself - difficult. When some blame, besides himself, sticky and oppressive feeling of guilt covers with all its destructive power.
Consider how to get rid of the destructive feeling of guilt? How to heal yourself? The article will help to realize that wines in the past, the bad has already happened and nothing can be returned.
You will learn, how to improve the quality of your life and live, full and harmonious life. Let's learn how to forgive yourself based on the following principles:
1.Learn to take everything you do. When you take your actions and actions, your individuality, you begin to understand and believe that you do not need to seek approval from people. You yourself for yourself authority. You do not need to apologize to anyone for your feelings. You may not be perfect, but you are you. It is all that matters.
2. Do not be an enemy. Believe that you deserve to forgive. All people, and all make mistakes. No need to constantly punish yourself, engage in self-vacation for the actions that you have committed once. You deserve to be happy, and do not torment yourself for the past the rest of your life.
3. If someone constantly shifts the guilt on you or "saw", then learn to miss past ears Everything that this person tells you. No need to be a victim, which he wants to do you. Prove people and ourselves: you are capable of forgiveness, no matter what.
You need to change yourself in order to become better. Do not give such fun to manipulate you. You are a strong and self-sufficient person, and you know that you can cope with attacks.
4. Do not try to be perfect Because you will never be. You have our strengths and, it already distinguishes you from other people. Just enjoy your individuality. Do not look at life as a permanent struggle: who is richer, known. Do not compare yourself with anyone. The disadvantage is a disadvantage when you compare yourself with anyone.
5. Openly express your feelings and thoughts. People need to know what you really feel and want. You do not have to work to enjoy people, you will not need to pull an artificial smile that takes a lot of energy. Understand, you should not like everyone. Learn to understand and take those emotions that do not like you in yourself, and are not approved by society, family, friends.
6.Be aware that it would happen if you do not forgive yourself. Perhaps you will not be able to let anyone in your life, but you will live, getting up with your sufferings and grief. You will grow old alone, and no one will take care of you. Perhaps even die before, due to the big emotional load, which you have to wear. You will always live last, without letting yourself a chance to start all over again.
So, do you want it to be so in the future? Think about it.
7. Know how important forgiveness. Forgiveness allows you to fully cure. The path to forgive will make you live in the present and look into the future.
8. Take into account your success. As mentioned earlier, it is impossible to forgive himself quickly. You need to work on this day day to achieve what you want. You can keep a diary where you can see that your life gradually becomes better.
It is important to understand the key idea: you should forgive yourself for yourself, because it leads to getting rid of guilt.
9. Each day, make small victories, fix the results achieved. Every day you will get better, more comfortable, while you believe in yourself. Learn to enjoy the process that will allow you to learn more about you as a person. Undoubtedly, you will never regret it.
So, take time to work on your inner world. Contact your friends. You are not alone, and need support on this path. If you forgave all your enemies, you can make forgiveness and yourself. It is not easy, but believe me, possibly.
Memories will pop up periodically. However, after you completely forgive yourself, they will not be able to touch you for the living, you will treat them as the lessons presented to you life on the road to self-improvement.
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