Who can be godfather? How to choose the right godparents for a child

Many people think that choosing godparents for their baby is very simple, but it seems so only at first glance. In fact, everything is not like that.

You need to understand that godparents must be responsible for their godson before God. They are responsible for his morality and spiritual education. God-parents- it's not only Good friends, relatives or financially well-off acquaintances - these are the people whom you trust to raise your child, these are the people who can gain authority from the child and can become for him good example, spiritual parents. Godparents are the people you can always rely on in difficult times.

The sacrament of baptism occupies a very important place in a person’s life, since it is the second birth of a person, his spiritual birth. Godparents are entrusted with a very great responsibility, responsibility for the spiritual education of their godson (adoptive). For this reason, when choosing godparents, one must be guided by the fact that these people are believers and have high moral qualities.

Godparents for a child cannot be:

• Parents of the child himself, as well as people who are related to each other by blood;
• Nuns and monks;
• Non-believers;
• Gentiles, and not only non-Christians, but also heterodox;
• Minors (girls under 13 years of age, and boys under 15).
• Persons who are married or persons who are going to get married, since in the future the godparents of one child cannot have each other intimate relationships, because they are spiritually related.
• Mentally ill people and people who have fallen morally.

What are the responsibilities of godparents?

The responsibilities of godparents are not at all what they imagine them to be. Many godparents believe that their duty is to give gifts to the child on Angel's Day, birthday and other holidays, to visit their godson (goddaughter) from time to time, to support a good relationship with the baby's parents. Of course, all this should also be present, but this is far from the most important. Godparents need to spend time with the baby reading, playing, talking about morality, love, and kindness. They must teach their godson moral values which every believer should have. Before choosing godparents for your child, ask yourself the question: “will this person pray for my baby?” Yes, after all, prayer for the godson is the main responsibility of the godparent. It is best to choose godparents among close people or among relatives; these should be people who have been tested for years, so that after the christening ceremony they do not disappear for a long time. Godparents must realize that they have great responsibility upon themselves; care and guardianship of the godson must be their desire.

Godparents must be Orthodox believers; they must take their spiritual life seriously. Their calling is to ensure that the child attends church, receives communion, and fasts.

How many pairs of godparents can a child have?

The Christian Church says that a child must have one recipient, but always of the same gender as the person being baptized. A girl must have a godmother, and a boy must have Godfather. But most often the child has both godparents. Also, one child can have more than one pair of godparents. But parents must understand that the fewer godparents a child has, the more responsible and serious they will take their responsibilities.

What godparents need to have during the baptism ceremony

• The godmother must have baptismal clothes, which she buys in advance;
• A godfather must have pectoral cross, he is also supposed to pay for the ceremony;
• Godparents must have a pectoral cross on themselves, since without it they will not be allowed to the Sacrament;
• Godparents must know the prayer “I Believe” (preferably by heart, but if not, then at least be able to read it).

How many times during a lifetime can a person be a godfather?

The Orthodox Church does not have a clear definition on this issue. The most important thing is that the person who agrees to be a godparent remembers that he takes on great responsibility and is responsible for his godson before God. The measure of this responsibility can determine how many times during his life a person can take on such a responsibility. This measure is individual for each person.

They say that if you cannot refuse the offer to become godparents. For this reason, in order to avoid an unpleasant outcome, it is best to first ask the prospective candidate if there is a desire to baptize your baby.

How to choose the right godparents for a child, and who cannot become a godfather? What requirements does the Orthodox Church place on them, and what do godparents need to know before the ceremony? How not to make a mistake when choosing spiritual mentors for a child? Let's figure it out.

Baptism is not an ordinary tradition passed down through the centuries. This is a sacrament, a special rite that marks the second, spiritual birth of a person. It is believed that grace descends on the one who receives baptism, and from that moment on, the Christian gains a guardian angel, under whose protection he will be for the rest of his life.

Who are godparents?

Baptism like others Orthodox rituals, requires compliance with certain rules, the main one among which is the choice of godparents. Many try to baptize a child in infancy. Usually the ceremony is carried out after 40 days have passed since birth, but for sick or weak babies the church makes an exception and allows them to be baptized at any time.

Only those who have turned 18 years old can undergo the sacrament of baptism without godparents; this is not prohibited by the church. But for children under this age they are required. Godparents become the child’s spiritual mentors, taking on the obligation to be close to the godson and support him throughout his life. If the blood parents pass away, it is the godparents who must take responsibility and care for the child. How to choose correctly those who can be entrusted with such serious responsibilities?

Baptism of a child: who cannot be appointed godparent

When choosing from friends or relatives the one who will accept this honorable duty, it is necessary to take into account the rules adopted by the Orthodox Church, which do not allow everyone to participate in the rite of baptism.

1. There is a decree Holy Synod, according to which a girl over 13 years old can become a godmother, and a young man who is 15 years old can become a godfather.
2. Spouses cannot become godfathers and godmothers.
3. Such responsibilities cannot be delegated to non-believers or people of other faiths.
4. It is unacceptable for those leading an unrighteous lifestyle to become godparents: alcoholics, drug addicts, riotous women, insane individuals.
5. Real parents cannot act as godparents.
6. By folk beliefs They do not take pregnant women as godmothers, although the Orthodox canons do not prohibit this.
7. Another popular sign is that the godson and godfather should not have the same name.

Ideally, everyone should have two successors. But if it happens that it is impossible to choose a couple, then it is allowed that there will be one godfather: the girl has a woman, the boy has a man. According to the signs, unmarried girl It is better to baptize the boy first.

The people chosen for these responsible roles must be very close to his real parents, and the degree of their relationship is not important. Grandmother, grandfather, aunt or uncle - all of them are not prohibited from baptizing a relative. But siblings are most often not assigned to this role.

It is believed that one cannot refuse the title of godfather, therefore, before offering to accept this role at a christening, it is better to find out whether the applicants themselves would like to take on the honorary duty.

Responsibilities of godparents

They not only have to participate in christenings, their main duty is to help the godson throughout his life, not just meet him periodically and give gifts, but also teach him goodness, morality and love.

After the completion of the ceremony, the godparents receive a certificate-memoir, which states that they should become godsons or goddaughters’ assistants, teachers and mentors.

If godparents do not have the opportunity to often meet with their godson or daughter, they should pray for the child. Ideally, Orthodox successors should attend churches, live church life and fast, but this condition is by no means obligatory.

What should godparents have during a christening?

After the future godparents have been determined, the child must choose church name, date of christening and temple. Usually children in church are baptized on Saturdays, but this can be done on any other day; fasting also does not prevent baptism from taking place.

Before baptism, the godparents come for the godson and “take” him. Before this, they should not sit down in the godson’s house. Everyone goes to church together: parents with the baby and godparents.

Before the baptismal ceremony, godparents buy things for the baby, a list of which is usually given in the church:

1. a traditionally shaped pectoral cross – bought by the godfather;
2. an icon, preferably (but not necessarily) of the saint whose name the child will be baptized - bought by the godmother;
3. The godmother also buys kryzhma - the material necessary for the sacrament, maybe with decorations, but more often ordinary white fabric;
4. a baptismal shirt, and for the girl a scarf or cap - it is not necessary to buy, you can replace it with a clean vest and scarf from your existing wardrobe.

TO appearance There are no special requirements for godparents during christenings; the usual rules for visiting church are followed. Both godparents must wear crosses, the man without a headdress, and the woman with a covered head, covered shoulders and elbows, and a skirt or dress below the knees.

Comment on the article "How to choose the right godparents for a child"

Based on the fact that a spiritual relationship is established between godparents and parents. But it’s only about what spouses are not allowed to do, and I’m not going to invite my wife to church, well, that is, he...

Discussion

We were allowed without any problems :) I’m very happy, now my girls are baptized and I’m their mother!

We will only have a baptism, I choose from my parish. They are all believers and will provide guidance if they can help, but the main criterion is that God forbid, what happens to us, so that they can take the child for themselves and prevent him from staying in the child care center. If the godfather, in principle, is not ready for this, then I don’t see the point in such a godfather.
For those to whom I am godmother, God forbid, I will take it away right away, this is a definite obligation, so I agreed to be godmother only 2 times in my life.

What do godparents have to do with it? After all, godparents are responsible for spiritual education) By the way, it is important for the Church that godparents are not couples with each other (for example, husband and wife)...

Discussion

Eldest daughter I was baptized by an institute friend and a family friend who was a witness at our wedding. WITH godmother our paths diverged, we haven’t seen each other for five years, although we live in the same city. The godfather is not a churchgoer, but he takes an active part in his daughter’s life; he and she are good friends. He doesn’t have his own family, so our daughter is very dear to him.
The youngest were baptized this weekend. They became my godparents brother and his wife, as well as my friend, whom I have known since first grade at school and a family friend. All godparents simply adore the kids and actively participated in their lives without knowing that they would be godparents. This active help of theirs gave me the idea to make them godparents. My husband and I are not particularly religious people and we don’t have any hopes for the active churching of our children by their godparents. It is important for us that they love them as our own or almost as our own, and that will be enough.
I approached the place of baptism thoroughly and we baptized the children not in the city, where it is clearly felt that money is important there. We baptized outside the city in monastery, everything is very poor, simple, but the atmosphere is such that even I, a person far from the church, was inspired. Father is wonderful a kind person, throughout the baptismal ceremony he smiled at the girls, and they smiled at him, it was all very touching.
Below I give a link where I read about the rite of baptism, everything is very accessible, there are prayers and explanations for them, read it.

“And it’s important for me that godparents be part of my children’s lives. That they are part of the family. And they want to be them.”

As pompous as it sounds. And should expensive people give gifts?
I liked the answer of one priest - “Godparents should pray for the godson. That’s all.”

All my friends chose according to the principle “To be richer” - expensive gifts are needed.
And so many claims and demands for godparents are terrible. They must buy everything for baptism and give gold crosses, otherwise the parents will face a sour face - “They are godparents!!! THEY MUST!”

Tell me about choosing a godfather. My husband and I just can’t choose a godfather, I’ve already found a godmother, she’s my close friend, she loves Grisha, she’s a believer (of course, without fanaticism)...

Discussion

and to what extent is he a believer - a friend of his husband? Godparents are needed to take care of the soul and spiritual education of the baby! mention your godchildren in your prayer.
For example, I cannot visit my goddaughter, since I live in another country, but I always mention her in health notes in church and light candles

If only I had at work good friend and I _decided_ to call her godmother, and my husband would have told me that he did not agree... I would not have understood my husband.
On the other hand, I am my godmother in last time I saw it when I was ten (it was my mother’s friend).... that’s why my children’s godparents are all relatives :)

God-parents. Christening. A child from birth to one year. Care and upbringing of a child Before a question to them: how do you choose godparents for a child and what from them in the future...

Discussion

I'm not expecting anything. I treat them as a mandatory part of the program :)
I myself am the godmother of a friend’s daughter’s daughter, and this became terribly stressful for me, because the friend, it turns out, assumed that I would play some special role in their life, and, to be honest, I have enough entertainment with my two girls. so I see my goddaughter once a year and I’m a little upset for my friend that she made a big mistake in choosing her godmother (i.e. me).

I'll tell you.
The eldest, when he was young, called his good friends.
For me, the association with my godmother is a pleasant person with gifts, who, even after many years, always comes to the rescue. Feeling of a reliable rear. That will always help and advise.
I dreamed of the same thing for my child.
Bottom line: the godfather said - I don’t understand anything about this. Doesn't wish you happy birthday. No need for gifts. You can call by phone.
The godmother seems to be a believer, but she learned from the priest that the godfather is more important for the boy and... she also disappeared. She called me with this good news and that’s it - not a phone call, nothing.
Very disappointing.
I want to sit down with Temochka one of these days and sign postcards for them with New Year’s Eve, let him draw something there, and we’ll write a few words together.
That’s why I called my sister to be Sofiushka’s godparents - they only became closer. But she didn’t call her godfather; for some reason she was categorically determined that only her own people were needed. Although now I think that I could have called someone.
Such a story.
I expect from godparents that my child knows that there are other people in the world besides his parents to whom he can turn.

Godparents - how are they chosen? My understanding is that not only should people be close to me (mom and dad), but they should also love the child, right?

Discussion

It’s really not a good idea to take a husband and wife as godparents at the same time, because this is prohibited by church regulations. They will tell you this in any Temple. All your other questions are from the area folk signs, but if you are interested in this, then it is believed that: a woman should baptize a boy first (because if she baptizes a girl first, she will give her her woman's happiness), and the man must baptize the girl first; As for the fact that godchildren should alternate, this is the first time I’ve heard, in my opinion, it doesn’t matter; Regarding close relatives, when I baptized my children, the priest in the Temple told me that close relatives will always love a child more than strangers, even very good friends, so it is DEFINITELY POSSIBLE to take close relatives as godparents; As for the number of children to whom you can become godmother, there are no restrictions: 3 or more or less. It’s just that if a person has many godchildren, then it is unlikely that he will be able to fully fulfill his duties as a godfather. From this point of view, you need to have as many godchildren in the fate as you can actually take part in (this participation, of course, does not include birthday gifts, etc.). From this moment on, you are responsible before God for the soul of the child; by becoming a godfather, you take upon yourself the responsibility of helping the parents raise the child in the spirit of Orthodoxy. The godfather is responsible for each of his godsons before God, so it is better to have one godson, but fulfill his duties fully, than several, but besides gifts and congratulations, do not burden yourself with anything else. If a person is not sure that he can cope with the role of a godfather, then it is better to refuse than to become a godfather just for show. Sorry it's long. If you have any other questions, you can ask by email.

05/14/2006 01:50:41, Mia

Baptism is one of the important events in the life of an Orthodox person. It is believed that he receives some kind of pass into the Kingdom of God. This is the moment of a person’s spiritual birth, when his previous sins are forgiven and his soul is cleansed. Particular attention should be paid to the choice of godparents for the child, since they have an influence on the spiritual life and salvation of the believer. Therefore, the godfather, whose duties and responsibilities include all of the above, must be worthy.

The role of a godfather in a child's life

Now let's take a closer look at what role the godfather plays in Orthodoxy, whose responsibilities include not only gifts for holidays. The most important thing he must do is to provide assistance in the spiritual life of his godson. So, let's look at the responsibilities in order:

1. Show for him worthy example with your life. This means that in the presence of a godson you cannot drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or speak swear words. You need to be noble in your actions.
2. Prayers for your godson are obligatory, especially in difficult moments.
3. Visiting a temple with your child.
4. Spiritual education of the godson is mandatory (stories about God, teaching the Bible, etc.). If there are problems in life situations, then provide all possible assistance.
5. The duties of a godfather also include material support if necessary (if parents a difficult situation with money or work).

What do you need to know to choose godparents?

So, how to choose a godfather or godfather? What should you be guided by? Firstly, you should know that in the spiritual life of a child, the most important thing is a godfather of the same sex (for a boy - a godfather, for a girl - godmother). However, according to established tradition, two are chosen as godfathers.

Of course, the decision about who will be the child’s spiritual educator throughout his life is made at the family council. If there are any difficulties when choosing, then consult with your priest or spiritual father. He will probably suggest a suitable candidate, because this is quite an honorable duty.

It is very important that godparents do not get lost in life, that they continue to spiritually care for the child throughout his life. Both the godmother and the godfather, whose duties and functions are described above, have their own responsibilities before the Lord.

Based on all this, Christians who are over fourteen years old are suitable for the role of spiritual parents. They take responsibility for the future spiritual life of the child, praying for him, and then teaching him to live in the Lord.

Who can't be a godfather?

When choosing a godfather or mother, you need to know who cannot be for your child:

• Those who are going to become spouses in the future or are already such in the present.
• Parents of the baby.
• Those who accepted monasticism.
• Unbaptized people or non-believers in the Lord.
• You cannot take as godparents people who have mental illness.
• Those who profess a different faith.

All of this should be taken into account before a godfather is chosen. His responsibilities are quite extensive, so the person who agreed to be him must be clearly aware of everything.

Necessary items for the ceremony

You should talk in more detail about what items are needed for this ritual:

• Kryzhma. This is a special towel on which a cross is embroidered or simply depicted. A child is wrapped in it during anointing, as well as when prayers of prohibition are read. Sometimes the baby's name and the date of his baptism are embroidered on such a towel.
• Baptismal swaddling cloth. This is not an entirely necessary attribute, but it should be there when it’s cold. This diaper is used to wipe the baby after dipping into the font, and then wrap it again in the kryzhma.
• Clothes for baptism. It could be baptism set(dress) for a girl or a special shirt for a boy. It is advisable that these clothes be purchased as a gift by the baby’s successor.
• It is necessary to have a pectoral cross with you for a future Christian. Usually it is acquired by the godfather. Responsibilities at baptism for him, of course, are not limited only to this acquisition, but they will be written about them below.
• It is necessary to take with you an envelope for the baby's cut hair.
• You should also purchase icons for the child and make a donation to the temple (this is an optional condition).

Is there any special preparation for recipients before the ceremony?

You should also pay attention to preparing for christening. The most the right step there will be an appeal to a confessor or priest for advice. However, you should know that usually before the sacrament it is necessary to confess and receive communion. Before this, you need to fast (the priest should tell you about the number of days). You may need additional actions, such as reading prayers, spiritual literature, etc. It is also advisable not to attend noisy parties, various entertainment venues, or watch TV at this time. All free time It is advisable to devote time to prayer.

If this is your first time in the role of godfather, then it is advisable to familiarize yourself with how the sacrament is performed, what prayers are read, and what the order of chants is. This is necessary because when you become a spiritual educator little man, you need more than just a formal presence. Sincere prayer is necessary, which should not stop even after the completion of the sacrament, because this is the essence of becoming a godparent.

More details about what responsibilities the godfather has during this ritual will be discussed below.

Present

Considering the question of the duties of a godfather at a christening, it should be said that on this day it is customary to give gifts, both to the baby and to the godfather. If desired, you can give a gift to your parents.

It is appropriate for a child to give both an educational toy and something more important for spiritual life, such as a Bible for children with pictures. By the way, the gift can be discussed in advance with the parents, because something else may turn out to be more important at this moment.

There is one main gift that his godfather must give the baby. The responsibilities during baptism are not only to hold the baby, but also to show the first example of honoring the Lord. After all, children understand everything from birth at the level of feelings. In addition to reading prayers, such a gift is a pectoral cross, which is baptismal. It must be bought and presented by the recipient.

For parents, especially for the mother of the baby, a good gift There will be a prayer book containing the necessary prayers for the whole family.

How were christenings celebrated in ancient times?

Previously, as now, christenings were very significant event in people's lives. This sacrament was necessarily performed no later than two months after the baby was born, and sometimes earlier, on the eighth day. This happened because there used to be a high infant mortality rate, so it was very important for loved ones to baptize the child before the irreparable happened, so that his soul would go to heaven.

The celebration of the little man’s joining the church took place with big amount guests. This was especially noticeable in large villages. Many people gathered for such a holiday, who came with gifts and Best wishes baby. At the same time, they brought mainly various pastries - kulebyaki, pies, pretzels. In the house where the little man lived, a sumptuous table was laid for the guests, and there was practically no alcohol (there could only be red wine in very small quantities).

There were traditional holiday dishes. For example, a rooster baked in porridge for a boy or a chicken for a girl. There were also a lot of shaped baked goods, which symbolized wealth, fertility, and longevity.

It was customary to invite the midwife to the table, who would receive the baby. They could also call the priest who performed the baptismal ceremony. During the celebration, numerous songs were sung, thus wishing the child all the best. They saw off all the guests, presenting each with sweets.

How is baptism performed? Responsibilities of a Godfather

Now let's look at how the ceremony itself takes place, what should be done at this time and what responsibilities each of those present has. In our time, this sacrament usually occurs on the fortieth day after birth. Parents or future godparents must go to the chosen temple in advance and sign up for the chosen date, as well as agree on the process itself. After all, you can hold individual christenings or general ones.

The responsibilities of the godfather during the baptism of a girl are the same, and that of a boy are different (although they differ slightly). If the child is not yet a year old and cannot stand on his own, then he is held in his arms all the time. For the first half of the ceremony (before immersion in the font), boys are held by their godmothers, and girls by their fathers. After the dive, everything changes. Since the main thing for a boy is the father, it is he who accepts the child, and the mother accepts the girl. And this continues until the end of the ceremony.

The service itself lasts about forty minutes (more time is required if there are many people). It begins after the celebration of the liturgy. The performance of the sacrament begins with the laying on of hands on the person being baptized and the recitation of a special prayer. After this, you should renounce Satan and his works. Adults are responsible for a child who cannot speak.

The next step in the ritual will be the consecration of the water in the font. Before immersing the person being baptized into it, he should be anointed with oil (back, chest, ears, forehead, legs and arms.) Only after this does immersion into the font occur. The priest reads prayers. This action symbolizes dying to the world and resurrecting to the Lord. This is how a kind of cleansing occurs.

Then the child is handed over to the godfather, he is wrapped in kryzhma (as mentioned above, the boy is handed over to the father, and the girl to the mother). Now the baby is anointed with myrrh.

So, now you know the responsibilities of a godfather when baptizing a boy and a girl. As you can see, they are slightly different.

Baptism at home

In addition to baptism in the temple, it would not be reprehensible to perform this sacrament at home, with your family. However, it is better to do it in the right place. This is based on the fact that after baptism, boys must be brought into the altar (girls simply venerate the icons).

After the ceremony is completed, the little man becomes a full member of the church. This can be felt most strongly only in the temple. Therefore, home christenings are possible only if the baby is unable to withstand the ceremony in church. They are also committed when the child is in mortal danger(illness, etc.). If the whole sacrament takes place in home environment, then the godfather has the same responsibilities for baptism as if the ceremony were performed in a temple.

Church life of new Christians

You should know that after baptism, a person’s spiritual life just begins. First acquaintance with church rules starts with prayer dear mother and godmother. This is how, invisibly, the word of God is instilled in the baby. And in the future, when he sees everything for himself, you can slowly introduce him to family prayer, explaining its value.

Special mention should be made about baptismal accessories. Kryzhma and special clothing (if you purchased it) should be stored separately and not used in everyday life. A christening shirt (dress) can be worn when a child is ill (or simply wrapped in it). The icon that was used during the sacrament should be placed near the baby’s crib or on home iconostasis(if there is one). The candle is used in special cases and they also keep it for life.

The responsibilities of a godfather at baptism are just beginning. In the future, when the child grows up, he will need to go to church, receive communion and attend services. Of course, this can be done with parents, but it is better if it is a godfather. By the way, you need to take your child to church from an early age. It is there, in the bosom of the church, that he will be able to realize all the greatness of God. If he doesn’t understand something, you need to patiently explain the difficult moments.

This is how addiction occurs and has a beneficial effect on the human soul. Church chants and prayers calm and strengthen. As you grow older, difficult questions can arise. If godparents or parents cannot answer them, then it is better to turn to the priest.

Conclusion

So now you know what the responsibilities of a godfather are. They need to be taken seriously from the very beginning, as soon as such an offer is made to you. If necessary, consult with the priest about what you should do for your child, how to educate him in the spiritual life and what support to provide. Be careful, because from now on you and your godson are spiritually connected forever. You will also be responsible for his sins, so upbringing should be treated with special importance. By the way, if you are not confident in your abilities, then it is better to refuse this.

Godparents: who can become a godparent? What do godmothers and godfathers need to know? How many godchildren can you have? The answers are in the article!

Briefly:

• The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main responsibility godfather - to help the child grow in the Orthodox faith.
• There must be a godfather church man , ready to regularly take his godson to church and monitor his Christian upbringing.
• After baptism has been performed, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed greatly for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
• Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents of both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
• Godparents the child's father and mother cannot be, and husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

Many of us were baptized in infancy and no longer remember how it happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or perhaps even more joyfully - our own child is born. Then we think once again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents to someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.

Answers from Rev. Maxim Kozlov on questions about the responsibilities of godparents from the “Tatiana’s Day” website.

– I was invited to become godfather. What will I have to do?

– Being a godfather is both an honor and responsibility.

Godmothers and fathers, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Godparents, of course, should be a person who also has some experience of church life and will help the parents raise the baby in faith, piety and purity.

During the celebration of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ. Read more about the procedure for performing Baptism.

The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes an obligation is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help the one received from the font to grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity only to the fact of Baptism. According to the teachings of the Church, for the way we took care of fulfilling these duties, we will also be asked to do the same on the day last trial, as well as for raising our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very great.

– What should I give to my godson?

– Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, and it doesn’t matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross should be of the traditional form accepted in Orthodox Church.

In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - a silver spoon, which was called a “tooth gift”; it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he began to eat from a spoon.

– How can I choose godparents for my child?

– Firstly, godparents must be baptized, church-going Orthodox Christians.

The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of godfather or godmother is whether this person will subsequently be able to help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not just in practical circumstances. And, of course, an important criterion should be the degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child’s church teachers or not.

– Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?

- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.

– If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to carry out the ceremony without him, but register him as a godparent?

– Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godparents, but it was applied only to persons imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand-ducal favor, agreed to be considered the godparents of this or that baby. If we're talking about about a similar situation, do so, and if not, then perhaps it is better to proceed from generally accepted practice.

– Who can’t be a godfather?

- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on - cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends the child’s parents are and no matter how pleasant people they are to talk to.

An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are confident in the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian denomination: Catholic or Protestant.

According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become adoptive parents.

– Which relative can be godfather?

– An aunt or uncle, grandmother or grandfather can become the adoptive parents of their little relatives. You just need to remember that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it’s worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child and help us raise him. In this case, aren’t we depriving the little person of love and care, because he could have one or two more adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important during the period when the child seeks authority outside the family. At this time, the godfather, without in any way opposing himself to the parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his loved ones.

– Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or baptize a child for the purpose of normal upbringing in the faith?

– In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either godparents, or his natural parents, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.

As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling away into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, atheism, a blatantly ungodly way of life - essentially speaks of that the person failed to fulfill his responsibility as a godfather. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered dissolved by the godmother or godfather, and you can ask another church-going pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to take care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.

“I was invited to be the girl’s godmother, but everyone tells me that the boy must be baptized first.” Is it so?

– The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by.

– They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?

– On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who received a girl from the font will either not get married herself, or this will affect her fate some kind of imprint.

On the other hand, one can see a certain kind of sobriety in this opinion, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) are chosen as godparents for the baby who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, who have something to share with physical parents baby. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.

– Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

– Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for to your own child with love for the adopted baby, will you have time left to take care of him, to advise the baby’s parents, to sometimes pray warmly for him, to bring him to the temple, to somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, but in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting once.

About godparents

Natalia Sukhinina

“I recently got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even got into an argument. She argued that godparents, like father and mother, are obliged to raise their godson. But I don’t agree: a mother is a mother, whoever she allows to interfere in the child’s upbringing. I also once had a godson when I was young, but our paths diverged long ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? I can’t believe it..."

(From a letter from a reader)

It so happened, and my life paths veered in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. I couldn’t even remember their names; I was baptized a long time ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they themselves don’t remember, they shrugged their shoulders, they said that people lived next door at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.

Where are they now, what are their names, do you remember?

To be honest, for me this circumstance was never a flaw, I grew up and grew up without godparents. No, I was lying, it happened once, I was jealous. A school friend was getting married and received a gossamer-thin gold chain as a wedding gift. The godmother gave it to us, she boasted, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I became jealous. If I had a godmother, maybe I would...
Now, of course, having lived and thought about it, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who are not even in my mind, that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler on the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. We must answer for the godsons and goddaughters who have fled from their parents’ nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.

Who doesn't know this picture?

Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, they pass him from hand to hand, go out with him, distract him so that he does not cry. They are waiting for the christening. They look at their watches and get nervous.

Godmothers and fathers can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially focused and important. They are in a hurry to get their wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle with bags of baptismal robes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, gawking at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him,” among which the godfather’s face is one of many. But when the priest invites you, it’s time. They fussed, became agitated, the godparents tried their best to maintain importance - but it didn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s exit to God's temple- a significant event.
“When was the last time you were in church?” the priest will ask. They will shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, you can still easily determine from the awkwardness and tension that the godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the arches of the church. Father will ask questions:

- Do you wear a cross?

- Do you read prayers?

– Are you reading the Gospel?

– Do you honor church holidays?

And the godparents will begin to mutter something incomprehensible and lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly reassure you and remind you of the duty of godfathers and mothers, and of Christian duty in general. The godparents will hastily and willingly nod their heads, humbly accept the conviction of sin, and either from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into the heart the main thought of the priest: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now and forever. And whoever remembers will most likely misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to contribute what he can to the well-being of his godson.

The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp, solid bill - enough for a tooth. Then, for birthdays, as the child grows older, a luxurious set of children's trousseau, an expensive toy, a fashionable backpack, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold chain, to the envy of the poor, for a wedding.

We know very little. And it’s not just a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the temple as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us, how best to prepare for it.
Godfather is a godfather in Slavic. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest transfers the baby from his own hands to the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By acceptance, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission of leading the godson along the path of ascension to the Heavenly inheritance. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember in the Gospel of John: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God.”

The Church calls its recipients with serious words – “guardians of faith and piety”. But in order to store, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who went to church for the first time with the baby being baptized. Godparents must know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again...”, they must know the “Creed”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, wear a cross, be able to be baptized.
One priest told me: they came to baptize a child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on the cross, but he can’t, he’s unbaptized. Just a joke, but the absolute truth.

Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But faith and repentance cannot be demanded from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called upon, having faith and repentance, to pass them on and teach them to their successors. That is why they pronounce, instead of babies, the words of the “Creed” and the words of renunciation of Satan.

– Do you deny Satan and all his works? - asks the priest.

“I deny,” the receiver answers instead of the baby.

The priest is wearing a light festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, and therefore of spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, and everyone standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby into the font three times and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, the servant of God, will hand him over to the hands of his godparents. And he will be dressed in white robes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a robe of light, dress in light, like a robe...” Accept your child, successors. From now on, your life will be filled with special meaning, you have taken upon yourself the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you will now have to answer before God.

At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become successors for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl needs only a godmother, a boy only a godfather. But life, as often happens, made its own adjustments here too. According to ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. Of course, you can’t spoil the porridge with oil. But even here you need to know very specific rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as a child’s parents cannot be his godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.

... The baby's baptism is behind us. Ahead of him big life, in which we are given a place equal to the father and mother who gave birth to him. Our work lies ahead, our constant desire to prepare our godson to ascend to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the very beginning. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked off their feet by the worries that have fallen on them. They, as they say, don’t care about anything. Now is the time to give them a helping hand.

Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in church, order prayer services, constantly, like your own natural children, remember them in home prayers. Of course, there is no need to do this edifyingly, they say, you are mired in vanity, but I am all spiritual - I think about high things, I strive for high things, I take care of your child so that you can do without me... In general, the spiritual education of a child is only possible in case if the godfather is his own person in the house, welcome, tactful. Of course, you don’t need to shift all your worries onto yourself. The responsibilities of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this you cannot justify yourself before the Lord.

This is truly a difficult cross to bear. And, probably, you need to think carefully before placing it on yourself. Will I be able to? Do I have enough health, patience, and spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for the honorary post. Which of them will be able to become a truly kind assistant in education, who will be able to bestow your child with true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but they are not at all necessary.

If there is trouble in the house, there are different criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers and unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. Such stories are as old as time and banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the Epiphany font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can move mountains. Possible good is also good. We are not able to discourage a foolish man from drinking half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter, or to sing “put up, put up, put up” to two frowning halves. But we have the power to take a boy who is tired of affection to our dacha for a day, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there and pray. The feat of prayer is at the forefront of the godparents of all times and peoples.

The priests well understand the severity of the feat of their successors and do not give their blessing to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.

But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are right from there, from childhood loneliness, childhood sadness. From a big childhood misfortune.

This man’s name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children’s Rehabilitation Center, or more simply, an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, gets funds for classroom equipment, selects personnel from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his charges from the police, collects them in basements.

Like a godfather, he takes them to church, talks about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. He prays a lot, a lot. In Optina Pustyn, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveyevo Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He gets very tired, this man, sometimes he almost falls from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is rare heart, and the priest, realizing this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in action say about him. Godfather from God - can you say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.

For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and towns, his service to children is an example of true Christian service. I think that many of us will not reach its heights, but if we are to make life from anyone, then it will be from those who understand their title of “successor” as a serious and not an accidental matter in life.
You can, of course, say: I am a weak person, a busy person, not much of a church member, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It’s more honest and simpler, right? Easier - yes. But more honestly...
Few of us, especially when the time has come to stop and look back, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, good mother, I didn’t owe my own child anything. We owe everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them back anymore. The children have grown up and are doing without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents have grown old. But conscience, the voice of God, itches and itches.

Conscience requires an outburst, and not in words, but in deeds. Couldn't bearing the responsibilities of the cross be such a thing?
It’s a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of my daughter was a great and unexpected gift for me. childhood friend. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself a big joy, and the feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. We sat down, poured the wine, and waited for the toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the bride’s parents let the groom’s parents go ahead with the speeches, and they do the opposite. And then the tall one stood up and handsome man. He stood up somehow very businesslike. He raised his glass:

– I want to say, as the godfather of the bride...

Everyone became quiet. Everyone listened to the words about how the young people should live long, in harmony, with many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulka, and from under her luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.

Thank you godfather, I thought too. Thank you for carrying love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding candle. Thank you for reminding us all of what we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How much - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.

They are usually chosen from their closest friends or relatives.

Godparents should not be between husband and wife, or bride and groom. After baptism, a spiritual relationship arises between them (the funny words “godfather” and “godfather” are now about them!), and every sex life this is excluded.

Traditionally, they are asked to bring either two godparents of opposite sexes or a godparent of the same gender as the child. But this is just a tradition that goes back to the times when people were baptized as adults and naked, and there was something to be ashamed of.

In principle, a godfather is needed to instruct his godson in spiritual life, and he may well be of a different gender than the child.

Godparents: training

Some dioceses require that godparents, who have not regularly attended church before this mission, take short-term courses - nothing like an educational program for novice believers. Otherwise, what can they teach their godson or daughter?

As a rule, these are 2-3 classes conducted by the priests themselves or the most well-read parishioners, and during these classes you can ask any questions about the faith. Some churches limit themselves to issuing small books about the Sacrament.

There is no need for classes with church-going godparents; the priest will simply ask them if they know the commandments and ask them to read a few prayers.

In any case, you must agree that the person who takes responsibility for your baby must understand at least what it consists of. And in any case, the recipient must know the Creed prayer by heart in order to read it at the appropriate moment.

Godparents: rules

On church language godparents are called godparents. They serve as guarantors of the infant's faith, and they are responsible for the child's spiritual upbringing. Subsequently, when the child reaches conscious age, they must explain to him the basics Orthodox faith. Only one godfather is considered necessary - a godfather for a boy and a godmother for a girl. However, according to long-established tradition, two godparents are often chosen for the baby - a man and a woman.

Godparents cannot be:

• Children (boy under 15 years old, girl under 13 years old)
• Natural parents of the baby
• Non-believers or people professing other religions.
• The godparents of the baby should not be married to each other or plan a union. But at the same time, the husband and wife are allowed to be the successors of different children of the same parents, but at different times.

What should godparents do?

Many mothers believe that godparents are now responsible for supporting the family economically. This is wrong. According to the canons, godparents are obliged to take care of the child’s upbringing. For example, godparents can refuse to buy an expensive toy or pay for a trip to the south, but they cannot refuse to help a mother travel with her child to church on the weekend. It is believed that for education godchild a person will be asked the same as for raising a relative.