The death of a person is always a difficult event for those who knew him. For family and friends, this is a particularly painful loss. Funeral services take place on the third, ninth and fortieth day after death. In order to carry them out correctly, you need to know what 40 days after death mean and how to remember the deceased. Typically, there are many traditions associated with this day that are necessary to help the deceased person.
This is the so-called “border” that lies between earthly and eternal life. This date is a kind of reminder to humanity that after death the soul appears before its Heavenly Father, and it is even more tragic than physical death.
Where is the soul of the deceased all this time? Often at first people feel the presence of the deceased, smells, sighs, steps. This can be explained by the fact that until the fortieth day the spirit does not leave its habitat.
40 days after death - what does it mean?
At first the soul is free and is usually found in places that are important to it. On the third day a memorial service is held.
Then she meets God, the saints and visits heaven, the entrance to which may be closed. That is why the spirit begins to experience anxiety and fear for the mistakes made during earthly life. On the ninth day, a wake and memorial service are held.
After the ninth day, the soul goes through predetermined tests and obstacles. All good and bad deeds are compared. On the fortieth day comes the Last Judgment, during which it is decided whether there will be eternal life in Paradise or Hell.
How to pray and remember the dead?
Every believer is obliged to remember the dead. Prayers should be especially diligent at the very beginning, because they make it easier to cope with an irreparable loss. And on the 40th day, prayer is said at home or in church. In the house, the female part of the family ties a scarf on their heads, and candles are lit in front of the image of the Lord.
When at a cemetery, liturgy or memorial service, postponing the commemoration is strictly prohibited. In other cases, if it is not possible to remember the deceased on the fortieth day, this can be done earlier.
On the 40th day, a memorial dinner is held, during which the deceased is remembered and prayed for his repose. The funeral dinner should include the following dishes:
- kutia made from rice or millet;
- rich pancakes;
- pies with various fillings;
- meat dishes;
- fish dishes;
- salads from lean products;
- the deceased's favorite dish;
- dessert (cookies, sweets, cheesecakes, pies).
To carry out a farewell ceremony with a loved one, it is customary to come to the cemetery on funeral days with an even number of flowers and a candle. It is forbidden to make noise, eat food or drink alcohol at the grave. As a treat for the deceased, you can leave a plate of kutya taken from home at the grave.
For forty days, it is customary to distribute cookies, sweets or pastries to people so that they can remember the deceased.
When do you need to order a memorial service for 40 days?
At this time, visiting the temple is mandatory. They pray there, order a memorial service and celebrate the magpie. The most important prayer is the one said at the liturgy. An obligatory bloodless sacrifice is offered to the Lord.
The memorial service is served before the eve - a special table on which gifts are left for the needs of the temple and in memory of the deceased. Litiya is held if a memorial service is not scheduled on the appointed day.
Sorokoust is carried out from the day of death until the fortieth day, and when this time ends, sorokoust is allowed to be repeated again. The timing of commemoration can be extended.
Traditions and rituals
Since ancient times, many different customs have formed regarding 40 days, but the church confirms only a small part. Well-known traditions are presented below:
- For forty days it is advisable not to pay special attention to clothes and not to cut your hair.
- When setting the table for a funeral dinner, cutlery in the form of knives and forks is strictly prohibited; spoons are placed with the notch down.
- The crumbs remaining on the table must be collected and taken to the grave - in this way the deceased is informed that there has been a wake.
- You can also take food from your home with you to the wake, for example, some pancakes or pies.
- Doors and windows must be tightly closed at night. It is forbidden to cry - because of this, the soul of the deceased may be attracted.
- On the bedside table or table you need to leave a glass, which is filled with vodka and covered with a piece of bread. If the soul drinks from there, then the amount of liquid will decrease.
- Until forty days you cannot crack the seeds. There are several explanations for this ban. Firstly, because of this, the soul of the deceased may be spit on. Secondly, those who violated the ban may later for a long time teeth hurt. Thirdly, in this way you can attract evil spirits.
- It is customary to distribute spoons for forty days. In ancient times, wooden spoons were distributed from funeral dinners, but now ordinary spoons can be distributed. Thus, while using this cutlery, a person will involuntarily remember the deceased. On the other hand, there is a superstition that it is impossible to distribute various dishes from a funeral for forty days - they act as a participant in the farewell ritual and can bring bad events or even death to a person.
Important signs for forty days after death
Exists a large number of superstitions that are associated with this date. However, it is worth mentioning and knowing the most famous of them:
- The house cannot be cleaned for forty days.
- The night light or candle should always be on.
- In various reflective surfaces, a deceased person may appear and take the living one with him, so until the fortieth day, everything that has mirror surfaces, for example, televisions, mirrors, etc., is covered with a cloth.
- During a wake, forty days after death, a place is allocated for the deceased, where they place a plate and a glass covered with a piece of bread.
- The widow's head must be covered with a black scarf all the time until forty days, otherwise the woman may incur damage to herself.
- Every day a towel and a glass filled with water are placed on the windowsill so that the soul has the opportunity to wash itself.
It is important to remember that the 40-day commemoration is not a celebration or celebration. This is a time of mourning, forgiveness. At this time, it is strictly forbidden to sing any songs, listen to music, or drink alcohol.
During the 1-2 hours during which the wake takes place, believers pray for the deceased and remember him. Only Christians should be present at the funeral dinner - they will help the family share this difficult time and provide it with spiritual support.
The question is of course very interesting to many, and there are two most popular views on it: scientific and religious.
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From a religious point of view |
From a scientific point of view |
| The human soul is immortal | There is nothing but the physical shell |
| After death, a person expects heaven or hell, depending on his actions during life | Death is the end, it is impossible to avoid or significantly prolong life |
| Immortality is guaranteed to everyone, the only question is whether it will be eternal pleasures or endless torment | The only kind immortality that you can receive - in your children. Genetic continuation |
| Earthly life is only a brief prelude to an endless existence | Life is all you have and is what you should value most. |
- - best amulet from the evil eye and damage!
What happens to the soul after death?
This question interests many people, and now in Russia there is even an institute that is trying to measure the soul, weigh it and film it. But the Vedas describe that the soul is immeasurable, it is eternal and always existing, and is equal to one ten-thousandth of the tip of a hair, that is, very small. It is practically impossible to measure it with any material instruments. Think for yourself, how can you measure intangibles with material instruments? This is a riddle for people, a mystery.
The Vedas say that the tunnel described by people who have experienced clinical death- this is nothing more than a channel in our body. There are 9 main openings in our body - ears, eyes, nostrils, navel, anus, genitals. There is a channel in the head called sushumna, you can feel it - if you close your ears, you will hear noise. The crown is also a channel through which the soul can exit. It can come out through any of these channels. After death, experienced people can determine which sphere of existence the soul went to. If it comes out through the mouth, then the soul returns again to the earth, if through the left nostril - towards the moon, through the right - towards the sun, if through the navel - it goes to planetary systems, which are below the Earth, and if through the genitals, then it falls into the lower worlds. It so happened that I saw a lot of dying people in my life, in particular the death of my grandfather. At the moment of death, he opened his mouth, then there was a big exhalation. His soul came out through his mouth. Thus life force leaves along with the soul through these channels.
Where do the souls of dead people go?
After the soul has left the body, for 40 days it will remain in the place where it lived. It happens that after a funeral people feel that someone is present in the house. If you want to feel like a ghost, imagine eating ice cream in a plastic bag: there are possibilities, but you can't do anything, you can't taste it, you can't touch anything, you can't physically move. When a ghost looks in the mirror, he does not see himself and feels shocked. Hence the custom of covering mirrors.
First day after death physical body the soul is in shock because it cannot understand how it will live without a body. Therefore, in India there is a custom of immediately destroying the body. If the body remains dead for a long time, the soul will constantly circle around it. If the body is buried, she will see the process of decomposition. Until the body rots, the soul will be with it, because during life it was very attached to its outer shell, practically identified itself with it, the body was the most valuable and expensive.
On the 3-4th day, the soul comes to its senses a little, disentangles itself from the body, walks around the neighborhood, and returns to the house. Relatives do not need to throw hysterics and loud sobs, the soul hears everything and experiences these torments. At this time, one must read the sacred scriptures and literally explain what the soul should do next. The spirits hear everything, they are next to us. Death is a transition to new life, death as such does not exist. Just as during life we change clothes, so the soul changes one body to another. During this period, the soul experiences not physical pain, but psychological pain; it is very worried and does not know what to do next. Therefore, we need to help the soul and calm it down.
Then you need to feed her. When the stress passes, the soul wants to eat. This condition appears the same as during life. Slim body wants to get a taste. And we respond to this with a glass of vodka and bread. Think for yourself, when you are hungry and thirsty, they offer you dry crust of bread and vodka! How will it be for you?
You can make it easier later life souls after death. To do this, for the first 40 days you do not need to touch anything in the room of the deceased and do not start dividing his things. After 40 days, you can do some good deed on behalf of the deceased and transfer the power of this act to him - for example, on his birthday, keep a fast and declare that the power of the fast passes to the deceased. In order to help the deceased, you need to earn this right. Just lighting a candle is not enough. In particular, you can feed the priests or distribute alms, plant a tree, and all this must be done on behalf of the deceased.
The scriptures say that after 40 days the soul comes to the bank of a river called Virajya. This river is teeming various fish and monsters. There is a boat near the river, and if the soul has enough piety to pay for the boat, it swims across, and if not, then it swims - this is the way to the courtroom. After the soul has crossed this river, the god of death Yamaraj, or in Egypt they call him Anibus, awaits it. A conversation is conducted with him, his whole life is shown as if on film. It is determined there further fate: in what body the soul will be born again and in what world.
By performing certain rituals, ancestors can greatly help the dead, make their future path easier, and even literally pull them out of hell.
Video - Where does the soul go after death?
Does a person feel his death approaching?
In terms of premonitions, there are examples in history when people predicted their death within the next few days. But this does not mean that every person is capable of this. Yes and oh great power coincidences should not be forgotten.
It may be interesting to know whether a person is able to understand that he is dying:
- We all feel the deterioration of our own condition.
- Although not all internal organs have pain receptors, our body has more than enough of them.
- We even feel the arrival of a banal ARVI. What can we say about death?
- Regardless of our desires, the body does not want to die in panic and activates all its resources to fight the serious condition.
- This process may be accompanied by convulsions, pain, and severe shortness of breath.
- But not every sharp deterioration in health indicates the approach of death. Most often, the alarm will be false, so there is no need to panic in advance.
- You should not try to cope with conditions close to critical on your own. Call everyone you can for help.
Signs of approaching death
As death approaches, a person may experience some physical and emotional changes, such as:
- Excessive drowsiness and weakness, at the same time periods of wakefulness decrease, energy fades.
- Breathing changes, periods of rapid breathing are replaced by pauses in breathing.
- Hearing and vision change, for example, a person hears and sees things that others do not notice.
- Appetite worsens, the person drinks and eats less than usual.
- Changes in the urinary and gastrointestinal systems. Your urine may turn dark brown or dark red, and you may have bad (difficult) stools.
- Body temperature changes, ranging from very high to very low.
- Emotional changes, the person is not interested outside world and individual parts Everyday life such as time and date.
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Death is grief and pain for the loved ones of the deceased. Natural consolation is the desire to help, to facilitate the deceased’s transition to other facets of existence. According to Christian religion, the 40th day is considered the most important of all memorial days, because during this period the soul says goodbye to the earth forever and leaves it. Many people organize funerals. What to say on this day and how to behave?
What is the meaning of a funeral ceremony?
It is important to know that the essence of the funeral rite is to make the transition of the soul of a deceased person to another world painless, to help the soul appear before God, to feel peace and tranquility. And this is achieved through prayers. All that will be said about the deceased person on this day: good words, prayers, good memories and speeches will help the soul endure God's judgment. Therefore, it is so important to observe all the traditions associated with this day and know
The main thing on this day is to pray. You can do this yourself, or you can invite a priest.
Christian traditions for day 40
The ritual of remembrance has been known since the very beginning of Christianity. The purpose of the ritual is to give the soul of the person who has passed into another world peace and tranquility, and to help to know the eternal heavenly Kingdom.
To do this, the friends of the deceased must also gather at the funeral table. When a wake is organized after a death, what should we say to those present? It is believed that what more people remembers the deceased in his prayers, the better it will be for the soul of the one for whom they are praying. On this day, it is customary to remember moments from the life of the deceased, focusing on his virtues and good deeds.
Life does not stand still; if earlier the wake was held in the house of the deceased, now it can be done in a restaurant or cafe. The traditions of Orthodoxy oblige to receive more people on this day than on the 9th day, because the soul leaves the earth, and not only relatives, but also everyone who wishes to do so must say goodbye to the person.
40 days after death, wake: what to say at the cemetery?
Visiting the grave of a deceased person is an obligatory part of the funeral ritual. You need to take flowers and a candle with you. It is customary to carry a pair of flowers to a cemetery; even numbers are a symbol of life and death. Laying flowers is the most The best way show respect to the deceased.
When you arrive, you should light a candle and pray for peace of mind, then you can just stand, be silent, remembering good moments from the life of a deceased person.
Noisy conversations and discussions are not allowed at the cemetery; everything should take place in an atmosphere of calm and tranquility.
Commemoration on the fortieth day in the church
Church commemoration is the mention of the name of the deceased during prayer during the Liturgy for the salvation of the soul and the eternal good of the person being remembered. The ceremony is carried out after the relatives of the deceased submit a note “On repose”. It is important to know that this note contains the names only of those who were baptized in the Orthodox Church.
For the relatives of the deceased best view donations will be a candle for the deceased. At the moment of installing the candle, you need to pray for the repose of the soul, asking the Lord to forgive the voluntary and involuntary sins of the deceased person.
According to the canons of Orthodoxy, funeral services (40 days after death) are not held before the established date. If, by coincidence of circumstances, it is necessary to carry out the ritual in a more early date, then on the weekend following the forties, you must definitely give out alms. On the same day, carry out church commemoration.
Organization of the funeral table
The purpose of a memorial dinner is to remember the deceased person, pray for the repose of his soul, provide psychological support to those in need, and thank people for their participation and help. You cannot throw a dinner with the aim of impressing the guests with expensive and gourmet dishes, boast of an abundance of dishes or feed to satiety.
The main thing is not food, but uniting in grief and supporting those who are having a hard time. It is important to take into account the main rules of Christianity: restrictions on admission alcoholic drinks, fasting and the presence of the simplest dishes on the table.
You should not perceive a wake as a feast. Large expenses in this case are unjustified; it would be much more useful to direct financial investments into charity.
If more than 40 days have passed since the death, a wake can be arranged later, if only the funeral table will be moved. It is necessary to pray for the soul of the deceased on the 40th day.
Main dishes of the funeral table
When setting the table, it is advisable to give preference Lenten dishes. At the head of the table there should be porridge cooked from whole grains, with the addition of honey, nuts and raisins. The dish represents the rebirth of the soul, symbolizes blessings eternal life.
The composition of the dishes mainly depends on the funeral being organized. Traditionally prepared: pancakes, pies, porridge, cabbage soup and jelly. Various snacks are acceptable: salads, vegetable or Among the first courses: borscht, noodles chicken broth, beetroot. Garnish - buckwheat, pilaf or mashed potatoes. The Church is against alcoholic beverages; in any case, their use should be limited.
If the wake coincided with fasting, then the meat should be exchanged for fish. For salads, vinaigrette is perfect. Let there be mushrooms, vegetables and fruits on the table. The main thing at a wake is to strengthen your strength in order to continue to tirelessly pray for the deceased.
How to prepare a funeral speech
No commemoration is complete without a funeral speech. Sometimes a presenter is invited especially for this occasion, who will help to correctly arrange the order of speeches. If the leader is absent, one of the close relatives should take on his role.
When a wake is held for 40 days after a death, the words spoken at the table should be distributed in a certain order of speakers. First, the speech is given by the closest relatives, then by friends and lastly by acquaintances.
Don't rely too much on improvisation. This is a sad event, and people who are in grief will listen to you. Brevity and accuracy are the main criteria for a funeral speech. Try to find time to practice at home so you can decide where to say nothing and what to add.
Usually all the closest ones come to the wake (40 days after death). A speech given at the table should not consist of a biography of the deceased person, because there will be people who already know well all the life stages of the deceased. It is very good to talk about some fact from life that will serve as proof of the virtues of the deceased.
When preparing a wake for 40 days after a death, poems dedicated to the mourning event can be more useful than ever. They will help you tune in to a lyrical-tragic mood, helping to create an atmosphere of a wake.
You can supplement your speech with a photograph of the deceased or an item that belonged to him, which will prove to those present how a good man was deceased. Avoid mentioning the deceased's mistakes, gossip and secrets. There is no place for such speeches at the funeral table.
Sample speech
Many people think when they organize a wake for 40 days after a death: “What to say?”... There is no established version of such a speech. The most important thing is to say the words from the heart. But there are still certain rules, using which you can prepare and speak correctly during the funeral ceremony.
You should start by greeting those present, followed by a story about who you are to the deceased. Say a few words about mourning and then go on to talk about good sides the person being remembered. If possible, remember the good moments you experienced together. It is very appropriate to involve other people in the memories so that your story is complemented by good memories. The speech ends with a promise to forever remember the one being remembered.
Still, you can remember a deceased person whenever you want. The main thing is to follow the basic rules of the memorial rite: prayer, alms and good memories of the deceased.
Asked by: Inna
Answered by: Site Editor
Hello! Please tell me how to remember 40 days correctly - day after day or can it be earlier/later? Thank you very much!
Dear Inna!
Home prayers and memorials must be performed on the 40th day, and the memorial table can be moved.
The pious custom of remembering the dead at meals has been known for a very long time. But, unfortunately, many funerals turn into an occasion for relatives to get together, discuss news, eat delicious food, while Orthodox Christians should pray for the deceased at the funeral table.
Before the meal you should perform a lithium - short rank funeral service, which can be performed by a layperson. IN as a last resort you need to at least read Psalm 90 and the “Our Father” prayer. The first dish eaten at a wake is kutia (kolivo). These are boiled cereal grains (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains serve as a symbol of resurrection, and honey - the sweetness that the righteous enjoy in the Kingdom of God. According to the charter, kutia must be blessed with a special rite during a memorial service; if this is not possible, you need to sprinkle it with holy water.
Naturally, the owners want to provide a tasty treat for everyone who came to the funeral. But you must observe the fasts established by the Church and eat permitted foods: on Wednesdays, Fridays, and during long fasts, do not eat fasting foods.
You must abstain from wine, especially vodka, at the funeral meal! The dead are not remembered with wine! Wine is a symbol of earthly joy, and a wake is an occasion for intense prayer for a person who may suffer greatly in life. afterlife. You should not drink alcohol, even if the deceased himself liked to drink. It is known that “drunken” wakes often turn into an ugly gathering where the deceased is simply forgotten. At the table you need to remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - wake). The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the table “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed in Orthodox families.
On the contrary, there are pious customs worthy of emulation. In many Orthodox families, the first to sit down at the funeral table are the poor and the poor, children and old women. They can also be given clothes and belongings of the deceased. Orthodox people can tell about numerous cases of identification from the afterlife about great help to the deceased as a result of the creation of alms by their relatives. Moreover, the loss of loved ones prompts many people to take the first step towards God, to begin living the life of an Orthodox Christian.
Since after death a person can no longer pray for himself, and we must do this for him. Therefore, memorial services and home prayer for the deceased are very useful, as are good deeds done in their memory - alms or donations to the Church. But it is especially useful for them to remember this Divine Liturgy. There were many apparitions of the dead and other events that confirmed how useful commemoration of the dead is. Many who died in repentance, but were unable to demonstrate it during their lifetime, were freed from torment and received peace. That is why prayers for the repose of the departed are constantly offered up in the Church.
Thus, one living archimandrite tells the following incident from his pastoral practice.
“It was during difficult times post-war years. A mother, tearful with grief, whose eight-year-old son Misha drowned, comes to me, the rector of the village church. And she says that she dreamed of Misha and complained about the cold - he was completely without clothes. I tell her: “Are any of his clothes left?” - "Yes, sure". - “Give it to your Mishin friends, they’ll probably find it useful.”
A few days later she tells me that she again saw Misha in a dream: he was dressed in exactly the clothes that were given to his friends. He thanked him, but now complained of hunger. I advised to organize a memorial meal for the village children—Misha’s friends and acquaintances. No matter how difficult it is in difficult times, what can you do for your beloved son! And the woman treated the children as best she could.
She came for the third time. She thanked me very much: “Misha said in a dream that now he is warm and nourished, but my prayers are not enough.” I taught her prayers and advised her not to leave acts of mercy for the future. She became a zealous parishioner, always ready to respond to requests for help, and to the best of her ability she helped orphans, the poor and the poor.”
Archbishop John (Maksimovich) speaks especially well about what we can do for the dead: “Everyone who wants to show his love for the dead and give them real help, Maybe the best way make this a prayer for them and especially a remembrance at the Liturgy, when the particles taken for the living and the dead are immersed in the Blood of the Lord with the words: “Wash, Lord, the sins of those who were remembered here with Your honest Blood, with the prayers of Your saints.”
We cannot do anything better or more for the departed than to pray for them, remembering them at the Liturgy. They always need this, especially in those forty days when the soul of the deceased follows the path to eternal settlements. The body then feels nothing: it does not see the gathered loved ones, does not smell the smell of flowers, does not hear funeral speeches. But the soul feels the prayers offered for it, is grateful to those who offer them, and is spiritually close to them.
Oh, relatives and friends of the deceased! Do for them what is necessary and what is in your power, use your money not for external decoration of the coffin and grave, but to help those in need, in memory of your deceased loved ones, at the Church where prayers are offered for them. Be merciful to the deceased, take care of their souls. The same path lies before you, and how we will then want to be remembered in prayer! Let us ourselves be merciful to the departed.
Immediately take care of the sorokoust, that is, daily commemoration at the Liturgy for forty days. Usually in churches where services are performed daily, the deceased who were buried in this way are remembered for forty days or more. But if the funeral service was in a church where there are no daily services, the relatives themselves should take care and order the magpie there where there is a daily service.”
Let us take care of those who have gone to another world before us, in order to do for them everything that we can, remembering that the blessings of mercy are such that there will be mercy (Matthew 5:7).
The passing of loved ones is always a tragedy. But for Christians who believe in eternal life, it is illuminated with the hope that the souls of their loved ones will move to the best place. Orthodox tradition requires remembering the deceased repeatedly, the first 40 days after death are especially important. What do they mean, and how to organize a funeral correctly in a Christian way? The article will provide answers to these important questions.
Death - the end or the beginning?
Many people are unaware of the fact that Christians did not celebrate birthdays in the past. Perhaps that’s why it didn’t reach us exact date when Jesus was born. The day of death was considered much more important - the transition to eternal life with God. We have been preparing for it throughout our lives, and this is what we should do now. In the first days, according to Orthodox teaching, the spirit is gradually preparing for its fate. But how can we find out what happens to the soul 40 days after death?
The holy fathers wrote a lot about this, interpreting the words from Holy Scripture. After all, we know that Christ has risen - this alone is quite enough for the Christian faith. But there are many other evidences shown in various Bible verses - Psalms, Acts, Job, Ecclesiastes, etc.
Majority Christian denominations confident that after death there is no possibility of repentance. But the soul remembers all its actions, feelings become more acute. This is what will cause suffering from what was done wrong in life. Hell is not iron frying pans, but the impossibility of being with God.
Let us remember the parable of the rich man and Lazarus - it literally describes how the cruel rich man suffered in hell. And although he was ashamed of his deeds, nothing could be changed.
That is why one must prepare for eternal life in advance, doing deeds of mercy, not offending others, and having “mortal memory.” But even after the death of a person one cannot give up hope. What happens after 40 days can be found out from the traditions of the Holy Church. Some saints received revelations about what would happen to a soul that passes into another world. They composed tales that are very instructive.
What's beyond?
The first days are especially important, when the deceased goes through ordeals - his soul is tormented by evil spirits who are trying to prevent the person from entering heaven. But he is helped by a guardian angel, as well as the prayers of loved ones. In one of the legends they are shown as weapons with which angels drive away unclean spirits. The deceased does not need a beautiful coffin, nor exquisite dishes, especially wine - he needs spiritual support. Therefore, it is very important to order prayers:
- magpie - commemoration at the Liturgy, a special rite symbolizing how the soul is washed by the blood of Christ;
- psalter for the repose - in monasteries they read psalms and special prayers If possible, you can order them for a year, this is not against the rules;
- memorial services - take place every Saturday, it is especially important to carry out this ritual 40 days after death, then on the anniversary;
- personal prayers - constantly, every day, for the rest of your life.
When ordering rituals, you must also include a personal prayer, at least briefly, but try to put into it all your faith, all your feelings for the loved one who has left you. Over time, a habit will develop, and even a need to communicate with God will arise; it is important to preserve it, develop it, and pass it on to children.
When 40 days have passed since death, it means that a preliminary decision has been made about where the soul will reside. Everyone has heard about the Apocalypse, the end of the world, Last Judgment. At this time, the general final judgment of people will be carried out. Until that moment, spiritual entities are waiting. In Orthodoxy it is believed that they are either with the saints or in a kind of hell. Many Protestant movements are of the opinion that during this period the soul “sleeps” and there is no point in praying for it.
What exactly is happening? Nobody knows this for sure. But Orthodoxy is unique precisely in its views on the posthumous fate. It is believed that prayer for 40 days after death can lighten the sentence that will be passed on the soul. It is necessary, of course, to arrange a wake, but with an awareness of what this ritual means in the Christian sense.
A worthy send-off
Grief is common when we're talking about about goodbye. But it should not be too deep; it is important to get together and provide prayerful assistance to your loved one. Tears will not bring back your loved ones, you need to use your time wisely. On the 40th day after death, it is customary to gather relatives and friends. How to commemorate, according to Christian traditions?
The meal should be simple if there is a post, it is necessary to comply with the regulations. Also, you cannot donate meat food to the temple. You can gather anywhere, be it a cafe, a cemetery or an apartment. If a person was a regular parishioner, sometimes they are allowed to hold a memorial in the church house immediately after the funeral service. For Christians, eating food is a continuation of worship, so everything must be worthy. You cannot put alcohol on the table and turn the ritual into unbridled fun.
What can you do for 40 days after death? Church commemoration is mandatory for baptized Orthodox Christians; before the meal, it is necessary to attend a memorial service in the church. Or bring a priest to the grave and pray there. For this, a larger donation is usually made than for a memorial service in church or commemoration during the Liturgy.
Even if it is not possible to call the priest, there is no need to be upset. You need to find the text of the memorial service for the laity and read it yourself. This must be done out loud so that all those gathered pray. You can light candles while reading.
After everyone has dispersed, you can also read the 17th kathisma, as it is written in the prayer books how to do it correctly.
The funeral meal on the 40th day after death is accompanied by speeches. What should I say? Since a person is gone forever, it is customary to remember only his best qualities or actions. All people are not without sin, but insults and reproaches do not alleviate the fate of the deceased; they only cause suffering to the living. We must sincerely forgive everything that happened; it cannot be corrected. You should start with who the speaker was to the deceased, what he had in common with him. Describe cases that will show the dignity of the deceased, his good traits. You need to prepare for your speech in advance by sketching it out on paper.
Who is prohibited from commemoration?
Particular grief is caused to their neighbors by those who die voluntarily or die absurdly while intoxicated (drowning in a river, getting poisoned carbon monoxide, die from a drug overdose, etc.). For such people, even 40 days after death, you cannot order a church commemoration. You can pray privately, that is, in person. There are even special prayers for this. It will be very good to give alms - in this case, you must ask the recipient to pray for relief from the eternal fate of the deceased.
Questions also arise when a baby dies, who simply did not have time to be baptized. In this case, the ruling bishop resolves the confusion. In any case, you can and should pray for your child. The Lord takes children for a reason. It is believed that He protects them from a more difficult fate that could await them in adulthood. It is important that parents maintain faith in God, His goodness and wisdom.
Situations are different, because life does not fit into patterns. Therefore, any questions should be resolved with the priest. And also hope for God’s mercy, pray for your loved ones, and do works of mercy.
Everlasting memory
40 days after death - important stage farewell to the soul loved one. Although inaccessible to people other world, it is necessary to believe that goodness and justice reign in eternity. Prayerful remembrance of the dead is a sacred duty of those who remember them. It must be constant, because it is unknown how much the deceased need our help. Absolutely for sure - not a single heartfelt prayer will be superfluous.
What happens to the soul 9 and 40 days after death
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