There is probably nothing in our lives that is more mythologized and saturated with superstitions than the death of a person and the ritual of his burial.

The Orthodox perception of death and burial of the body of the deceased is radically opposite to the perception that, unfortunately, exists in our post-Soviet country among yesterday’s atheists who overnight became “Orthodox”, i.e. resorting to the Church in extreme cases of birth (baptism), illness and death of a person. These “raids” on the Church are so massive that they gave rise to their own “funeral” tradition, which is now widespread in the popular consciousness.

From an Orthodox point of view, the death of a person (a believer, a church member, of course) is “dormition”, falling asleep, hence “deceased”, falling asleep. Death is a transition to another world, birth to eternity. Our deceased is dear to us (after all, he did not disappear, was not destroyed, he fell asleep with his body, but with his soul he went to long journey, to meet God), he really needs our prayers, church funeral services, alms, good deeds done in his memory.

Human body in Orthodox tradition understood as temple of the soul(“Don’t you know that you are the temple of God, and the Spirit of God lives in you?” ( 1 Cor.3:16)). The reverent attitude towards the body of the deceased is directly related to the main dogma of Christianity - dogma of the resurrection. We do not believe that our souls will be resurrected (we know that the human soul is immortal), we believe that at the Second Coming of the Savior our bodies will be resurrected (wherever and in whatever state they are) and united with our souls, and we will we are whole again.

That is why it is accepted in the Church carefully prepare the body for burial: wash, dress in clean clothes, cover with a white shroud, and bury in the ground as in a bed where the body sleeps, waiting for the voice of the Archangel trumpet. Thus, by taking care of a person’s dignified burial, we express our faith on Sunday. Therefore, the priest puts on white vestments for the funeral service, showing the Church’s faith in this dogma.

Outside the Church, the attitude towards death is completely different. The death of a person is a catastrophe, disaster. I have heard this: “Our grandfather died suddenly, unexpectedly! He was 80 years old...” Despite turning to the Church for a funeral service, in reality the relatives of the deceased do not believe that he is “deceased”, “deceased” (i.e. one who is “at peace”, “at rest with God”). For them, a dead person is a corpse, a dead person. Ideas about the soul are the most vague. They talk about the soul, but more because “it’s so accepted”; in fact, no one believes in the posthumous existence of the soul.

And since there is no faith in eternity and Sunday, that is panic fear before death and everything connected with it. Death for unbelievers is a bony old woman with a scythe who comes for her prey, and at the same time does not miss the opportunity to scare the living with her hoarse laughter and the fire of her empty eye sockets. What remains alive? To quickly throw her victim into her mouth and pay off with something (“what is required”), just not to think about her evil grin.

Where there is no faith in the Risen God, there is a desire to push death (or rather, thoughts about it) to the periphery of consciousness. The fear of death in society is reflected throughout culture: in literature, art, cinema, etc. Please note that In a society where they are afraid of death, they are very fond of humorous programs, comedy and adventure films. In literature, “life-affirming” genres are valued: novels about love, about sex, detective stories. But all motives that make one think about the meaning of life and death are being squeezed out of culture. Try inviting someone to read Dostoevsky - a litmus test by which you can check whether a person takes the problem of life and death seriously, or is trying to hide from it (“screw your Dostoevsky, mortal melancholy!”).

When death does come, and a dead person appears in the house, the relatives begin to look for ways to “correctly” see him off. last way. The neighboring grandmother (who knows “everything” and has been going to church for three hundred years) explains “how” and “in what sequence” one must act. Here are some "grandmother's" tips...

Of course, it is impossible for me to know all the variety of grandmothers’ advice (there are many grandmothers and they live long). I will cite just a few that I myself have encountered.

So when a person dies, what is the first thing they do? Right: they cover the mirrors. For what? So that the soul wandering around the apartment until the 40th day (remember: not until the third, but right up to the fortieth! Poor relatives, at least move out of the apartment for a month and a half...), does not see itself in the mirror. He will probably faint, or be embarrassed by his unsightly appearance...

This superstition works one hundred percent. In four years of priesthood, I have never seen a single apartment where this was not done. Golden Rule funeral When asked: “why and why” - everyone shrugs: “that’s how it should be, grandma said...”.

True, there is also positive point in this golden rule. Some people also turn off the TV and don’t watch it for 40 days! Commendable zeal, we should only advise not to remove the curtain from the TV box for another year - just in case. Whoever knows her, this soul, suddenly hangs around - maybe he’ll be scared of the news from NTV...

The following immutable rule: a glass of vodka (for a man) or water (for a woman) and a piece of bread (add some candy and cookies). The soul, therefore, not only walks around the apartment, it also wants to eat. True, it is not clear why so little? Then all three dishes, and with a bottle... (At a wake, by the way, there is always a plate of borscht for “our dear...”).

One priest told the following episode: they called him to a funeral service. He sits and eats a pancake. Suddenly he feels that everyone is looking at his mouth... He felt uneasy, he sat there, choking... When he finally finished eating, everyone breathed a sigh of relief - it turns out that if Father will finish the pancake to the end, then everything will be fine for the deceased there...

The ancient pagans, when performing funeral feasts, were still more consistent than our contemporaries: at least they clearly knew why they were performing this or that ritual; everything had a symbolic meaning. Modern “Orthodox pagans” are distinguished by their extreme lack of intelligence when this seemingly simple question arises: “Why, citizens?!”

An important point is the question after removing the deceased: from what (from the door or from the window) "wash" the floors? Do not know? Okay, I’ll answer: the floors, citizens, need to be washed of dirt!

Well, there are also small tips about what should be distributed after the deceased cups with spoons; bring a soup set for him to church; distribute the deceased's belongings. If you dream of a dead person with requests, then you need to fulfill these requests literally: he asks you to dress him or take some junk to church. He asks for something to eat - to bring tea and a loaf of bread for the eve... But why doesn’t anyone want to see in these requests a call to pray, to improve their lives, to become closer to God, so that prayers for the deceased can reach them as quickly as possible? Why is everyone trying to pay off a dead man? The answer is simple: because there is no faith in heaven and hell, and there is no love for the deceased.

Yes, I recently learned that there is another important ritual farewell to the soul on the fortieth day. You need to read something, go to the gate with a candle, open the door, in general, perform mysterious actions that unambiguously hint to the soul that, they say, it’s time to know the honor, get lost... (Another option for seeing off: it is necessary on the fortieth day at 9 pm open the window so that the soul floats smoothly towards the cemetery...)

The saddest thing is that these superstitions are so tenacious that one gets the impression that few priests fight them. I almost always hear from people at funeral services: “Father, this is the first time we’ve heard this from you!” Priests do not preach at funeral services and do not explain to people that these are not harmless folk traditions, and traditions that contradict Orthodox faith. But many priests prefer to remain silent and not get involved. And some themselves also contribute to the spread of obscurantism, there’s no other way to describe it.

The story of one bishop: “The other day I received a denunciation: parishioners are complaining about their rector, accusing the priest of the most terrible sin that can be... They write that they Father did not let my soul into heaven. They created a commission and sent it to investigate. It turned out that until that time a priest had served in this parish with Western Ukraine, quite artisanal in his work. Under him, the following tradition was formed there: after the funeral service, the deceased is taken out of the church, placed in the church yard, the gate leading from the temple grounds to the street is locked, a glass of vodka is taken out, and the priest must drink this vodka, and then throw the glass into the iron gate with the words : “Oh, my soul has gone to heaven!” After this, the gates swing open and the coffin is taken to the cemetery. But the new priest, young, after seminary, turned out to be very literate - and did not do this. The parishioners were offended and wrote a denunciation...” (Deacon Andrey Kuraev. Non-American missionary. Saratov, Saratov Diocese Publishing House, 2006.)

It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Is it any wonder that normal thinking people, young people walk a mile away from churches where the dark, suffocating spirit of “Orthodoxy from Baba Yaga” lives...

One of the vicious pieces of advice coming from priests is the persistent advice to bless the apartment after the deceased, to “clean”. Of course, it’s understandable to want to earn an extra hundred on people’s grief... But in this way, the pagan teaching is created that a dead person is a filth, a muck, after which the home must be sanctified. The relics of saints lie in crayfish in churches and exude currents of healing and grace, and the relics of our Orthodox departed are, for some reason, a desecration of our homes! This is very important question and, I think, it would be worth applying strict disciplinary measures to such priests who spread “Orthodox” paganism.

One “zealous” priest (who served in the priesthood for 30 years!) even demanded from the young abbot that he “sprinkle Epiphany water benches on which the coffin with the deceased stood, so that those who would later sit on these benches would not get sick”! And then we still wonder why our people are so superstitious... Such is the parish.

Where did the burial soil come from?

Conversation in the temple: “Our grandmother died. We were told that she should be handed over to the countrywoman. Can I buy land from you?..”

Do you think it’s impossible? As much as possible! In some churches it is already stored in piles, waiting for its deceased. The main thing is to pay the money, and they will immediately silently give you “consecration to the earth.” And you can go with a feeling of accomplishment...

Isn't it a common situation? But do people (and even the priests themselves who practice this kind of thing) think: why is this land needed?

Where did this “land” ritual come from?

In Russia, before 1917, almost every cemetery had a church; it was quite common for an Orthodox person to have a funeral service in such a church. After the funeral service, the priest walked with everyone to the grave, and when the coffin was lowered into the grave, the priest took earth with a shovel and threw it on the coffin, reading the prayer: “The earth is the Lord’s, and the fulfillment of it, the universe, and all who live on it.” Thus, this symbolic action showed everyone around us that we were created from the earth and are returning to the earth. That is: think about the frailty of your existence. All. There is no other meaning other than a symbolic reminder to the living of death.

IN Soviet time the situation became more complicated. With temples, and with everything else related Orthodox burial, has become problematic. Arose funeral service in absentia, after which consecrated land was given out so that believing relatives could perform this symbolic rite themselves, reminding themselves of the fate awaiting us all.

But later, due to the catastrophic decrease in both believers and literate priests, this action turned into self-sufficient, broke away from its edifying, pedagogical symbol, and became meaningless and harmful. The land itself began to be considered the main moment, replacing even the funeral service.

For example, in a modern brochure published Sretensky Monastery, we read:

“Eternal memory is proclaimed over the coffin.” The priest sprinkles earth in a cross shape on the body of the deceased, saying the words: “The earth is the Lord’s, and the fulfillment of it, the universe, and all who live on it.” The rite of interment can be performed both in a temple and in a cemetery, if the deceased is accompanied there by a priest. (p. 26)

(..) Nowadays, it often happens that the temple is located far from the house of the deceased, and sometimes is completely absent in the area. In such a situation, one of the relatives of the deceased should order an absentee funeral service at the nearest church, if possible on the third day. At the end of it, the priest gives the relative a whisk, a sheet of paper with a prayer of permission, and soil from the funeral table.

(..) But it also happens that the deceased is buried without a church farewell, and after a long time his relatives still decide to perform a funeral service for him. Then, after the funeral service in absentia, the earth is scattered in a cross shape on the grave, and the aureole and prayer are either burned and also scattered, or buried in the grave mound (pp. 26-27).

(..) If the funeral service takes place before cremation (as it should be), then the icon must be removed from the coffin and the earth scattered over the coffin. If the funeral service is held in absentia and the urn is buried in the grave, then the earth scatters across it in a cross shape. If the urn is placed in a columbarium, then the burial soil can be scattered over any Christian grave, as usual, with the reading of the Trisagion. The chaplet and the prayer of permission are burned along with the body (p. 32).” (“On the path of the whole earth.” M., Sretensky monastery, 2003).

That's all. Not a word explaining the meaning of these land movements. Reading this text, I can only draw one conclusion: the main thing is land and witchcraft with “burning” and “burying”. The advice to scatter earth on other people's graves looks especially wild! Well, why?! Who needs this? To the deceased? Deeply doubtful. Relatives who will stupidly dig into other people's graves, scattering ashes and thinking that they are performing surprisingly reasonable actions? Or priests who receive income from the land trade and do not want to explain to people that the deceased only needs our prayers and good deeds, the correction of our lives, our approach to God?..

And yet, one can ask: what to do, how to break the established false tradition? Preaching, tirelessly explaining to people (both at the funeral service and outside it) that the main thing is spiritual (prayer, repentance, correction of life), and everything material (earth, aureole, shroud, candles, etc.) is secondary, has only symbolic, pedagogical meaning, and becomes meaningless in isolation from a reasonable understanding of this action.

Where is the funeral service?

In the Orthodox pre-revolutionary Russia this question was not even raised. Any Orthodox Christian had a funeral service either in his parish church, to which he had been assigned all his life (that’s why they were full of such deep meaning the words of the prayer of permission said by the confessor of the deceased: “Son, your sins are forgiven you”; and that is why they are so meaningless now, when the priest sees a person for the first time already dead) or in a cemetery church. The refusal of relatives to perform the funeral service for the deceased in the temple could be regarded as an act of renunciation of their faith. Funeral services in absentia were possible only in connection with the death of a person “in a distant country” (at sea, in war).

In Soviet times (especially pre-war), of course, the main way of performing funeral services for believers (and non-believers were not buried) due to persecution was the funeral service in absentia, in best case scenario- in the apartment.

But by the time of perestroika and by our times, the situation had seriously changed. They began to hold funeral services for everyone, according to “tradition” (as long as they were nominally baptized), and the dying believing grandmothers were mostly left with non-believing relatives. And now, when church life has stabilized, many difficulties arise with the funeral service.

A man dies. Relatives have a problem of choice: how and where to have a funeral service? There are options: in absentia (to go for a piece of land) - the simplest and most common option; calling the priest to your house is expensive, but respectable; taking you to a temple is an almost unrealistic option, especially thanks to the extortionate policies of funeral companies that charge huge sums of money for every minute of downtime.

In the Church there is now an attempt to revive the old traditions of funeral services only in churches, even more strictly: only in cemetery churches. This tradition in itself, of course, is legal. It's just dead. Such a tradition will really live only in an Orthodox state, where the vast majority of citizens recognize this tradition as their own. It turns out that we are imposing our tradition on non-believers. The deceased grandmother is a believer, and she would like to have a funeral service in the church, but we forget that the goal of her relatives is to get rid of the old woman quickly and, most importantly, without unnecessary expenses. Therefore, they will follow the path of least resistance: either they will buy a piece of land, or the funeral home will bring upon them some “autonomous” defrocked priest, earning money on the religious illiteracy of the people. In the best case, they will still take the old woman to the cemetery church, where these old women have long been put on stream. (Cemetery fathers, don’t be offended, I’m not talking about everyone!).

Do you know how long a normal funeral service lasts, in full rite? About two hours. Usually the service is shortened - about half an hour. Have you ever seen a funeral service in twelve minutes? I have seen. I saw how a deeply religious deceased person was insulted (who died a few hours after the next communion), when the priest (what else can you call him?!), muttering something under his breath and literally running, fanned with a censer everything that seemed to him to need to be fanned . This was called a funeral service “in a cemetery.” This is the main problem with funeral services in cemetery churches: the complete indifference of the priest (not all of them, of course!) to the next (twentieth today) deceased. Such a “funeral service” only contributes to the rejection of people from the Church.

Therefore, in our current situation, funeral services at home seem to be the most realistic. On the one hand, this is an avoidance of buying land. On the other hand, non-believers will be able to touch the beauty of the Orthodox funeral service for at least half an hour at home in a familiar environment. And most importantly: preaching. It is at the moment of seeing off the deceased that people are most open to the priest’s words and are most able to think about the frailty of their lives. We must not deprive them of this opportunity. They do not yet have the strength to cross the threshold of the temple, and the priest, as a missionary, legal rights will come to their house and say something about the salvation of the soul.

Of course, it’s wonderful when people understand the need for a funeral service in a church, but when this is not the case, then it is better to meet them halfway (them, not their land superstitions!), enter their house and show that the priest is not an appendage of ritual services ( many are sure of this), but a person appointed by God to comfort the sorrowing and admonish the lost.

Conclusion

Once, at a funeral service, I preached a sermon for a long time, talking about the importance of everything spiritual for the deceased (prayer, good deeds) and the unimportance of everything external (countries, hanging mirrors, etc.). He explained what the meaning of “countryman” is. In response, one intelligent-looking aunt remarked to me:

– Of course, what you say is correct, okay. There’s only one thing that’s not good: you shouldn’t have brought the land into the house, it’s not supposed to.

And to my question:

“Where did she get such deep knowledge of theology?” she answered without embarrassment:

- Where from? From the church, of course, that's where we heard it!

What could I answer her? Yes, to our misfortune, people bring superstitions from our temples. Of course, it is not often the priests themselves who are to blame for the spread of ignorance (although it does happen); it is most often the grandmothers who are “in charge of candlesticks” and “correct” piety who are to blame. But where is the priest at this time, why is he not in the temple? Why, instead of dense pagan women, are there not young, knowledgeable guys on duty in the church who, in the absence of a priest, can explain to those who come in a clear and accessible form the elementary concepts of Orthodox life?

And, of course, I repeat again: preaching is very important, not only from the pulpit, but everywhere - at services, at public conversations, and just on a bench near the temple. And it is very important that all priests do this, because only then there is hope that our people’s faith will be Orthodox, and not “grandmother’s.”

Priest Alexy Pluzhnikov

Library “Chalcedon”

___________________

Priest Alexy Pluzhnikov: “May they rest in peace?”

There is probably nothing in our lives that is more mythologized and saturated with superstitions than the death of a person and the ritual of his burial.

The Orthodox perception of death and burial of the body of the deceased is radically opposite to the perception that exists, unfortunately, in our post-Soviet country among yesterday’s atheists who overnight became “Orthodox,” i.e., resorting to the Church in extreme cases of birth (baptism), illness and death of a person. These “raids” on the Church are so massive that they gave rise to their own “funeral” tradition, which is now widespread in the popular consciousness.

From the Orthodox point of view, the death of a person (a believer, a church member, of course) is a “dormition”, falling asleep, hence the “deceased”, falling asleep. Death is a transition to another world, birth to eternity. Our deceased is dear to us (after all, he did not disappear, was not destroyed, he fell asleep in body, but in his soul went on a long journey, to meet with God), he really needs our prayers, church funeral services, alms, good deeds done in his memory.

The human body in the Orthodox tradition is understood as a temple of the soul (“Don’t you know that you are the temple of God, and the Spirit of God lives in you?” (1 Cor. 3:16)). The reverent attitude towards the body of the deceased is directly related to the main dogma of Christianity - the dogma of the Resurrection. We do not believe that our souls will be resurrected (we know that the human soul is immortal), we believe that at the Second Coming of the Savior our bodies will be resurrected (wherever and in whatever state they are) and united with our souls, and we will we are whole again.

Therefore, it is customary in the Church to carefully prepare the body for burial: wash it, dress it in clean clothes, cover it with a white shroud, and bury it in the ground as if in a bed, where the body sleeps, waiting for the sound of the Archangel’s trumpet. Thus, by taking care of a person’s dignified burial, we express our faith on Sunday. Therefore, the priest puts on white vestments for the funeral service, showing the Church’s faith in this dogma.

Outside the Church, the attitude towards death is completely different. The death of a person is a catastrophe, a natural disaster. I've heard this: “Our grandfather died suddenly, unexpectedly! He was 80 years old...” Despite turning to the Church for a funeral service, in reality the relatives of the deceased do not believe that he is “deceased”, “deceased” (i.e. one who is “at peace”, “at rest with God”). For them, a dead person is a corpse, a dead person. Ideas about the soul are the most vague. They talk about the soul, but more because “it’s so accepted”; in fact, no one believes in the posthumous existence of the soul.

And since there is no faith in eternity and Sunday, then there is a panicky fear of death and everything connected with it. Death for unbelievers is a bony old woman with a scythe who comes for her prey, and at the same time does not miss the opportunity to scare the living with her hoarse laughter and the fire of her empty eye sockets. What remains alive? To quickly throw her victim into her mouth and pay off with something (“what is required”), just not to think about her evil grin.

Where there is no faith in the Risen God, there is a desire to push death (or rather, thoughts about it) to the periphery of consciousness. The fear of death in society is reflected throughout culture: in literature, art, cinema, etc. Please note that in a society where they are afraid of death, they are very fond of humorous programs, comedy and adventure films. In literature, “life-affirming” genres are valued: novels about love, about sex, detective stories. But all motives that make one think about the meaning of life and death are being squeezed out of culture. Try inviting someone to read Dostoevsky - a litmus test by which you can check whether a person takes the problem of life and death seriously, or is trying to hide from it (“screw your Dostoevsky, mortal melancholy!”).

When death does come, and a dead person appears in the house, the relatives begin to look for ways to “correctly” see him off on his last journey. The neighboring grandmother (who knows “everything” and has been going to church for three hundred years) explains “how” and “in what sequence” one must act. Here are some "grandmother's" tips...

“Grandmother’s” and “father’s” advice

Of course, it is impossible for me to know all the variety of grandmothers’ advice (there are many grandmothers and they live long). I will cite just a few that I myself have encountered.

So when a person dies, what is the first thing they do? That's right: they cover the mirrors. For what? So that the soul wandering around the apartment until the 40th day (remember: not until the third, but right up to the fortieth! Poor relatives, at least move out of the apartment for a month and a half...), does not see itself in the mirror. He will probably faint, or be embarrassed by his unsightly appearance...

This superstition works one hundred percent. In four years of priesthood I still not in any apartment I haven't seen this not being done Golden Rule funeral When asked: “why and why” - everyone shrugs: “that’s how it should be, grandma said...”.

True, there is a positive aspect to this golden rule. Some people also turn off the TV and don’t watch it for 40 days! Commendable zeal, we should only advise not to remove the curtain from the TV box for another year - just in case. Whoever knows her, this soul, suddenly hangs around - maybe he’ll be scared of the news from NTV...

The next unshakable rule: a glass of vodka (for a man) or water (for a woman) and a piece of bread (add candy and cookies). The soul, therefore, not only walks around the apartment, it also wants to eat. True, it is not clear why so little? Then all three dishes, and with a bottle... (At a wake, by the way, there is always a plate of borscht for “our dear...”).

One priest told the following episode: they called him to a funeral service. He sits and eats a pancake. Suddenly he feels that everyone is looking at his mouth... He felt uneasy, he sat there, choking... When he finally finished eating, everyone breathed a sigh of relief - it turns out that if the priest finishes the pancake to the end, then everything will be fine for the deceased there...

The ancient pagans, when performing funeral feasts, were still more consistent than our contemporaries: at least they clearly knew why they were performing this or that ritual; everything had a symbolic meaning. Modern “Orthodox pagans” are distinguished by their extreme lack of intelligence when this seemingly simple question arises: “Why, citizens?!”

An important point is the question after the removal of the deceased: from what(from the door or from the window) “wash” the floors? Do not know? Okay, I’ll answer: the floors, citizens, need to be washed from the dirt!

Well, there are also small tips about handing out cups and spoons after the deceased; bring a soup set for him to church; distribute the deceased's belongings. If you dream of a dead person with requests, then you need to fulfill these requests literally: he asks you to dress him or take some junk to church. He asks for something to eat - to bring tea and a loaf of bread for the eve... But why doesn’t anyone want to see in these requests a call to pray, to improve their lives, to become closer to God, so that prayers for the deceased can reach them as quickly as possible? Why is everyone trying to pay off a dead man? The answer is simple: because there is no faith in heaven and hell, and there is no love for the deceased.

Yes, I recently learned that there is also an important ritual of seeing off the soul on the fortieth day. You need to read something, go to the gate with a candle, open the door, in general, perform mysterious actions that unambiguously hint to the soul that, they say, it’s time to know the honor, get lost... (Another option for seeing off: it is necessary on the fortieth day at 9 pm open the window so that the soul floats smoothly towards the cemetery...)

The saddest thing is that these superstitions are so tenacious that one gets the impression that few priests fight them. I almost always hear from people at funeral services: “Father, this is the first time we’ve heard this from you!” Priests do not preach at funeral services and do not explain to people that these are not harmless folk traditions, but traditions that contradict the Orthodox faith. But many priests prefer to remain silent and not get involved. And some (especially “Soviet”) priests themselves also contribute to the spread of obscurantism, there’s no other way to describe it.

The story of one bishop: “The other day I received a denunciation: parishioners are complaining about their rector, accusing their priest of the most terrible sin that can be... They write that their priest did not let their soul into heaven. They created a commission and sent it to investigate. It turned out that until then a priest from Western Ukraine served in this parish, and was quite skilled in his work. Under him, the following tradition was formed there: after the funeral service, the deceased is taken out of the church, placed in the church yard, the gate leading from the temple grounds to the street is locked, a glass of vodka is taken out, and the priest must drink this vodka, and then throw the glass into the iron gate with the words : “Oh, my soul has gone to heaven!” After this, the gates swing open and the coffin is taken to the cemetery. But the new priest, young, after seminary, turned out to be very literate - and did not do this. The parishioners were offended and wrote a denunciation...” ( Deacon Andrey Kuraev. Non-American missionary. Saratov, Publishing house of the Saratov diocese, 2006.)

It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Is it any wonder that normal thinking people, young people, go a mile away from churches where the dark, suffocating spirit of “Orthodoxy from Baba Yaga” lives...

One of the vicious pieces of advice coming from priests is the persistent advice to bless the apartment after the deceased, to “clean it up.” Of course, the priest’s desire to earn an extra hundred on people’s grief is understandable... But in this way, the pagan teaching is created that a dead person is a filth, a muck, after which the home must be sanctified. The relics of saints lie in crayfish in churches and exude currents of healing and grace, and the relics of our Orthodox departed are, for some reason, a desecration of our homes! This is a very important issue and, I think, it would be worth applying strict disciplinary measures to such priests who spread “Orthodox” paganism.

One “zealous” priest (who served in the priesthood for 30 years!) even demanded from the young abbot that he “sprinkle baptismal water on the benches on which the coffin with the deceased stood, so that those who will then sit on these benches will not have illnesses”! And then we still wonder why our people are so superstitious... What is the pop - such is the parish.

Where did the burial soil come from?

Conversation in the temple: “Our grandmother died. We were told that she should be handed over to the countrywoman. Can I buy land from you?..”

Do you think it’s impossible? As much as possible! In some churches it is already stored in piles, waiting for its deceased. The main thing is to pay the money, and they will immediately silently give you “consecration to the earth.” And you can go with a feeling of accomplishment...

Isn't it a common situation? But do people (and even the priests themselves who practice this kind of thing) think: why is this land needed?

Where did this “land” ritual come from? In Russia, before 1917, almost every cemetery had a church; it was quite common for an Orthodox person to have a funeral service in such a church. After the funeral service, the priest walked with everyone to the grave, and when the coffin was lowered into the grave, the priest took earth with a shovel and threw it on the coffin, reading the prayer: “The earth is the Lord’s, and the fulfillment thereof, the world, and all who live on it.” Thus, this symbolic the action showed everyone around us that we were created from the earth and are returning to the earth. That is: think about the frailty of your existence. All. There is no other meaning other than a symbolic reminder to the living of death.

During Soviet times the situation became more complicated. With churches, and with everything else related to Orthodox burial, it became problematic. A funeral service in absentia arose, after which consecrated land was given out so that believing relatives could perform this service themselves. symbolic ritual, recalling to myself about the fate awaiting us all.

But later, due to the catastrophic decrease in both believers and literate priests, this action turned into self-sufficient, broke away from its edifying, pedagogical symbol, and became meaningless and harmful. The land itself began to be considered the main moment, replacing even the funeral service.

For example, in a modern brochure published by the Sretensky Monastery, we read:

“Eternal memory is proclaimed over the coffin.” The priest sprinkles earth in a cross shape on the body of the deceased, saying the words: “The earth is the Lord’s, and the fulfillment of it, the universe, and all who live on it.” The rite of interment can be performed both in a temple and in a cemetery, if the deceased is accompanied there by a priest. (p. 26)

(..) Nowadays, it often happens that the temple is located far from the house of the deceased, and sometimes is completely absent in the area. In such a situation, one of the relatives of the deceased should order an absentee funeral service at the nearest church, if possible on the third day. At the end of it, the priest gives the relative a whisk, a sheet of paper with a prayer of permission, and soil from the funeral table.

(..) But it also happens that the deceased is buried without a church farewell, and after a long time his relatives still decide to perform a funeral service for him. Then, after the funeral service in absentia, the earth is scattered in a cross shape on the grave, and the aureole and prayer are either burned and also scattered, or buried in the grave mound. (p. 26-27)

(..) If the funeral service takes place before cremation (as it should be), then the icon must be removed from the coffin and the earth scattered over the coffin. If the funeral service is held in absentia and the urn is buried in the grave, then the earth scatters across it in a cross shape. If the urn is placed in a columbarium, then the burial soil can be scattered over any Christian grave, as usual, with the reading of the Trisagion. The chaplet and the prayer of permission are burned along with the body. (p.32).” ("On the path of all the earth." M., Sretensky convent, 2003).

That's all. Not a word explaining the meaning of these land movements. Reading this text, I can only draw one conclusion: the main thing is land and witchcraft with “burning” and “burying”. The advice to scatter earth on other people's graves looks especially wild! Well, why?! Who needs this? To the deceased? Deeply doubtful. Relatives who will stupidly dig into other people's graves, scattering ashes and thinking that they are performing surprisingly reasonable actions? Or priests who receive income from land trade and do not want to explain to people that the deceased only needs our prayers and good deeds, correction our life, is our getting closer to God?..

And yet, one can ask: what to do, how to break the established false tradition? Preaching, tirelessly explaining to people (both at funeral services and outside of it) that the main thing is spiritual (prayer, repentance, correction of life), and everything material (earth, aureole, shroud, candles, etc.) is secondary, has only symbolic, pedagogical meaning, and becomes meaningless in isolation from a reasonable understanding of this action.

Where is the funeral service?

In Orthodox pre-revolutionary Russia, this issue was not even raised. Any Orthodox Christian had a funeral service either in his parish church, to which he had been assigned all his life (that is why the words of the prayer of permissiveness pronounced by the confessor of the deceased were full of such deep meaning: “Son, your sins are forgiven you”; and that is why they are so meaningless now, when the priest sees a person already dead for the first time) or in a cemetery church. The refusal of relatives to perform the funeral service for the deceased in the temple could be regarded as an act of renunciation of their faith. Funeral services in absentia were possible only in connection with the death of a person “in a distant country” (at sea, in war).

In Soviet times (especially pre-war), of course, the main way of holding funeral services for believers (and non-believers were not buried) due to persecution was the funeral service in absentia, at best in an apartment.

But by the time of perestroika and by our times, the situation had seriously changed. They began to hold funeral services for everyone, according to “tradition” (as long as they were nominally baptized), and the dying believing grandmothers were mostly left with non-believing relatives. And now, when church life has stabilized, many difficulties arise with the funeral service.

A man dies. Relatives have a problem of choice: how and where to have a funeral service? There are options: in absentia (to go for a piece of land) - the simplest and most common option; calling the priest to your house is expensive, but respectable; taking you to a temple is an almost unrealistic option, especially thanks to the extortionate policies of funeral companies that charge huge sums of money for every minute of downtime.

In the Church there is now an attempt to revive the old traditions of funeral services only in churches, even more strictly: only in cemetery churches. This tradition in itself, of course, is legal. It's just dead. Such a tradition will really live only in an Orthodox state, where the vast majority of citizens recognize this tradition as their own. It turns out that we are imposing our tradition on non-believers. The deceased grandmother is a believer, and she would like to have a funeral service in the church, but we forget that the goal of her relatives is to get rid of the old woman quickly and, most importantly, without unnecessary expenses. Therefore, they will follow the path of least resistance: either they will buy a piece of land, or the funeral home will bring upon them some “autonomous” defrocked priest, earning money on the religious illiteracy of the people. In the best case, they will still take the old woman to the cemetery church, where these old women have long been put on stream. (Cemetery fathers, don’t be offended, I’m not talking about everyone!).

Do you know how long a normal funeral service lasts, in full rite? About two hours. Usually the service is shortened - about half an hour. Have you ever seen a funeral service in twelve minutes? I have seen. I saw how a deeply religious deceased person was insulted (who died a few hours after the next communion), when the priest (what else can you call him?!), muttering something under his breath and literally running, fanned with a censer everything that seemed to him to need to be fanned . This was called a funeral service “in a cemetery.” This is the main problem with funeral services in cemetery churches: the complete indifference of the priest (not all of them, of course!) to the next (twentieth today) deceased. Such a “funeral service” only contributes to the rejection of people from the Church.

Therefore, in our current situation, funeral services at home seem to be the most realistic. On the one hand, this is an avoidance of buying land. On the other hand, non-believers will be able to touch the beauty of the Orthodox funeral service for at least half an hour at home in a familiar environment. And most importantly: preaching. It is at the moment of seeing off the deceased that people are most open to the priest’s words and are most able to think about the frailty of their lives. We must not deprive them of this opportunity. They do not yet have the strength to cross the threshold of the temple, and the priest, as a missionary, will legally come to their home and say something about the salvation of the soul.

Of course, it’s wonderful when people understand the need for a funeral service in a church, but when this is not the case, then it is better to meet them halfway (them, not their land superstitions!), enter their house and show that the priest is not an appendage of ritual services ( many are sure of this), but a person appointed by God to comfort the sorrowing and admonish the lost.

Conclusion

Once, at a funeral service, I preached a sermon for a long time, talking about the importance of everything spiritual for the deceased (prayer, good deeds) and the unimportance of everything external (countries, hanging mirrors, etc.). He explained what the meaning of “countryman” is. In response, one intelligent-looking aunt remarked to me:

Of course, what you say is correct, okay. There’s only one thing that’s not good: you shouldn’t have brought the land into the house, it’s not supposed to.

And to my question: where did she get such deep knowledge of theology, she answered without embarrassment:

How from? From the church, of course, that's where we heard it!

What could I answer her? Yes, to our misfortune, people bring superstitions from our temples. Of course, it is not often the priests themselves who are to blame for the spread of ignorance (although it does happen); it is most often the grandmothers who are “in charge of candlesticks” and “correct” piety who are to blame. But where is the priest at this time, why is he not in the temple? Why, instead of dense pagan women, are there not young, knowledgeable guys on duty in the church who, in the absence of a priest, can explain to those who come in a clear and accessible form the elementary concepts of Orthodox life?

And, of course, I will repeat again: preaching is very important, not only from the pulpit, but everywhere - at services, at public talks, and just on a bench near the church. And it is very important that all priests do this, because only then there is hope that our people’s faith will be Orthodox, and not “grandmother’s.”

2008

2 The Russian language is simply a storehouse of all kinds of catchphrases and aphorisms, the origin of which should be sought in the depths of history. Probably every person will definitely attend a funeral at least once in his life; if not someone else’s, then he certainly won’t ignore his own. Do you know what the most popular phrase comes to mind when you start thinking about this sad event? Usually, an individual repeats a hackneyed proverb covered with the dust of generations " May he rest in peace", the meaning of which he does not fully understand. To decipher these and many other expressions, we have created a website, so add this resource to your bookmarks, we have useful information almost every day.
However, before I continue, I would like to show you some more popular news on the topic of sayings and proverbs. For example, what does it mean to rest in God; how to understand Wet the crusts; which means God protects the one who is taken care of; the meaning of the expression Sprinkle ashes on your head, etc.
So let's continue what does rest in peace mean??

Rest in peace- this expression usually ends a funeral speech

May he rest in peace is a synonym for the expression " The Kingdom of heaven", and sometimes these two phraseological units are used in conjunction, although this is fundamentally wrong

Origin" May the earth rest in peace to you"has pagan roots. This phraseology first began to be used during the times Ancient Rome, and sounded like this: " Sit tibi terra levis". The quote itself was borrowed from the Roman author Mark Valery Martial, famous in narrow circles - “Sit tibi terra levis, molliquetegaris harena, Ne tua non possint eruere ossa canes”, which can be translated as “May the earth rest in peace to you, And softly cover sand so the dogs can dig up your bones."
Some historians believe that this is a kind of ancient Roman curse, for example, if the deceased has greatly annoyed you with something. After all, no one wants dogs to eat the meat off your bones.
However, most philologists are convinced that this is not an entirely correct interpretation, because this phrase was used long before this famous poet.

If we “dig” deeper, we can find out that ancient tombstones with the letters “engraved” have survived to this day. S·T·T·L", as you already understood, this is an abbreviation for the expression "Sit tibi terra levis." Although there were several versions of such epitaphs, their meaning boiled down to one thing - "Rest in peace."

Anyone who played with old toys probably noticed that after the death of the hero, a gravestone appeared with the abbreviation " R.I.P.“(Rest In Peace), which means “rest in peace.” In fact, this is an analogue of the ancient epitaph that was used in the Roman Empire.
Based on the above, we can conclude that this phrase contains deep religious motives, and far from Christian.

So why did people want The earth rest in peace? The fact is that in those days, humanity was quite wild, and believed in all these pagan ideas about the world around us. At that time, it was believed that the soul of a person continues to remain in the body after death. And if the deceased is uncomfortable or something causes discomfort, he will be able to get out of the grave. It is because of these beliefs that people are still afraid to disturb the peace of the dead, and they even make films about the rise of the dead from their graves.

True, if you hear a grief-stricken wife talking about her late husband - “May he rest in peace,” then this is clearly not the moment when she needs to be guided on the right path. If you still want to tell the person what true meaning“Rest in peace,” then you need to find time and explain that Orthodoxy does not use this phraseological unit.

After reading this article, you learned what does rest in peace mean?, and now you won’t get caught again

Hieromonk Job (Gumerov) answers:

From the very beginning of His sermon, our Lord Jesus Christ gives first place to the Kingdom of Heaven: repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand(Matthew 3:2). To achieve eternal bliss in it is the ultimate goal of our life.

Word kingdom(Heb. Malchut; Greek Basileia) in the biblical books has two meanings: “rule of the king” and “territory subject to the king.” The Evangelist Matthew uses the expression 32 times Kingdom of heaven and 5 times Kingdom of God(6:33; 12:28; 19:24; 21:31, 43). The evangelists Mark, Luke and John have only Kingdom of God. Comparison of parallel places convinces that these expressions are synonymous. The Kingdom of God represents the absolute power (dominion) of God over the visible and invisible world: The Lord has set His throne in heaven, and His kingdom rules over all(Ps. 102:19). Some passages of the holy books show that the concept of the Kingdom of God has another meaning: the dominion (power) of the Lord God, to whom we submit ourselves of our own free will and to whom we voluntarily and joyfully serve. With this understanding, the meaning of asking for prayer is revealed to us. Our Father: Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven(Matt. 6:10). The Kingdom of God only becomes real for each of us in earthly life when we strive to fulfill the will of the Lord. If people live willfully and work in sin, then only the kingdom of the devil is real for them. Only when the Lord deprives Satan of his power over us (if we consciously strive for this) do we again find ourselves at the invisible, but real, gates of the Kingdom of God. Where Christ is, there comes His Kingdom, which is not of this world (John 18:36). This is the most important point of disagreement between Jesus Christ and the Jewish leaders who expected an earthly king in the person of the Messiah. They thought that he would overthrow and abolish all the then kingdoms on earth, and would form a single power from the entire human race, in which the Jews should take first place. Jesus Christ undoubtedly responded to such expectations: My kingdom is not of this world; If My kingdom were of this world, then My servants would fight for Me, so that I would not be betrayed to the Jews; but now my kingdom is not from here(John 18:36).

During His earthly ministry, the Savior gradually revealed the secrets of the Kingdom. Only one who is born again of the Spirit can see it (John 3:1-8). It is not exclusive to the Jews: many will come from the east and west and lie down with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the Kingdom of Heaven(Matthew 8:11). All believers in Jesus Christ receive it as a gift by responding to the call of the Lord (1 Thess. 2:12): I bequeath to you, as My Father bequeathed to Me, the Kingdom(Luke 22:29). It increases like mustard seed(Matthew 13:31) and similar sourdough changes lives (Matt. 13:33). For those who believe in the Gospel and repent, the Kingdom of God is already manifested in the present, but will come in its entirety in the future. When the dates are fulfilled and the Second Coming of our Lord Jesus Christ takes place, the Kingdom of God will be established in power and glory: And the seventh angel sounded, and there were loud voices in heaven, saying: The kingdom of the world has become [the kingdom] of our Lord and of His Christ, and He will reign forever and ever.(Rev. 11:15).

The Lord determines the life and condition of those who will enter the Kingdom of Heaven with a word bliss (Sermon on the Mount. – Matthew 5:3-12). The Kingdom of God is within you(Luke 17:21). Greek the preposition entos means inside, but with nouns and pronouns plural can be understood and how by (among). Modern researchers try to explain this verse in words in the middle of you(See The Gospel of Luke. Commentary on the Greek text, M., 2004, p. 196). However, in patristic exegesis, starting with Origen, this place is understood as an indication of a special grace-filled spiritual state that a righteous person can acquire. This theological understanding is entirely consistent with the preceding verse: Having been asked by the Pharisees when the Kingdom of God would come, he answered them: The Kingdom of God will not come in a noticeable way.(17:20). Rev. John Cassian the Roman writes: if the kingdom of God is within us, and this kingdom is righteousness, peace and joy, then whoever has them is, without a doubt, in the kingdom of God(First interview. Chapter 13).

The saints are already here joining the Kingdom of grace. ON THE. Motovilov talks about a conversation with Rev. Seraphim of Sarov: “And when I looked into his face after these words, even greater awe fell upon me. Imagine in the middle of the sun, in the most brilliant brightness of its midday rays, the face of a person talking to you. For example, you see the movement of his mouth and his eyes, a change in the very outlines of his face, you feel that someone is holding your shoulders with their hands, but you do not see not only his hands, but neither yourself, nor him, but only one the most dazzling light, extending for several fathoms all around...” (Notes of Nikolai Aleksandrovich Motovilov..., M., 2005, p. 212). How is this achieved? According to St. Seraphima: So the acquisition of this Spirit of God is the true goal of our Christian life, and prayer, vigil, fasting, almsgiving and other virtues done for the sake of Christ are only means to acquire the Spirit of God.

REMEMBRANCE OF THE DEAD: FEATURES OF REMEMBRANCE IN GREAT LENT

During Lent, there are Saturday days of special prayer commemoration of the dead - Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of the Holy Pentecost.

Christian love prompts us to pray for the dead, by which we are all mutually united in Jesus Christ and constitute spiritual wealth. The deceased are our neighbors whom the Lord commands to love as ourselves. God does not say: love your neighbors while they live.

On Holy Pentecost - the days of Great Lent, the feat of spirituality, the feat of repentance and charity to others - the Church calls on believers to be in the closest union of Christian love and peace not only with the living, but also with the dead, to perform prayerful commemorations of those who have passed away on designated days. real life. In addition, the Saturdays of these weeks are designated by the Church for the remembrance of the dead for another reason that on the weekdays of Great Lent no funeral commemorations are performed (this includes funeral litanies, litias, memorial services, commemorations of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days by death, sorokousty), since there is no full liturgy every day, the celebration of which is associated with the commemoration of the dead. In order not to deprive the dead of the saving intercession of the Church on the days of the Holy Pentecost, the indicated Saturdays are allocated.

In pre-revolutionary times, each family had a list of the names of all deceased members of this kind- “Commemoration.” Thus, they even prayed for those whom the oldest living family members did not remember. Now this tradition has been lost by most families, and even when making a memorial, many believers do not know how to properly remember their deceased loved ones.

Priest Andrey Bezruchko, rector of the St. Nicholas Church in Voskresensk, clergyman of the Church of the Resurrection of Christ in the village of Voskresensk, answered questions regarding the commemoration of the departed.

Why does the Orthodox Church introduce special days of remembrance - parental Saturdays, since commemoration, therefore, is performed at the liturgy?

The fact is that liturgies are not celebrated in parish churches every day; there is no such thing, speaking modern language, technical feasibility. In order to perform the liturgy, it is necessary that in addition to the priest there are chanters, sextons and, of course, praying people. Therefore, during the week, not every church holds a service, namely, a liturgy. But on Sunday, liturgies are celebrated in every functioning church. This is not enough to commemorate the dead, because this day occurs only once a week. Therefore, for special commemoration, parental Saturdays and days of remembrance of the dead are set aside, on which special prayer about the deceased.

During Lent, the full liturgy cannot be celebrated during the week, therefore, there cannot be commemoration of the dead on these days. From Monday to Friday (weekdays) of Lent, the full liturgy is not performed in any church - it is not required, it is performed on Wednesdays and Fridays or on major holidays Liturgy Presanctified Gifts. At this liturgy there is no commemoration of health or repose, because the days of fasting are days of repentance, days of special prayer, when a person goes deep within himself and the church structure of the service itself does not leave time for long remembrances of the deceased, except for a short funeral litia, which is scheduled after the 1st hour. And, therefore, in Great Lent the 2nd, 3rd, 4th Saturdays are designated, which are called the days of remembrance of the dead - on these days special time is allocated for prayer for the departed. The day before, the 17th Kathisma is read (this is when they pray for the departed). It talks about reward to the righteous and sinners from God, about their answer to God for their deeds, and therefore, this Kathisma in the Psalter is the most appropriate on this day and the Church Charter determines it to be read on the eve of Saturday. And already on Saturday itself, the day of remembrance of the dead, a liturgy and requiem service are performed, like a funeral prayer, where the dead are remembered.

When are parental Saturdays on the calendar, and what other ones? Orthodox Church Are there special days for remembering the dead?

- Parents' Saturdays are called a few days in church calendar: Myasopustnaya, Troitskaya And Dmitrievskaya parent Saturdays. The remaining days in the Church calendar are days of remembrance of the dead. Although, on all these days they remember the parents of the deceased, and close and acquaintances of Orthodox Christians, Orthodox killed warriors, but the names differ in the structure of the service itself, that is, in the name of the days of remembrance of the dead, it determines the very structure of this funeral prayer taking place. For example, if it is parental Saturday, Trinity Saturday, Meat Saturday and Demetrius Saturday, then on these days the service is more filled than on other days of remembrance of the dead, with lengthy prayers, including troparia, stichera, and canons.

In addition to the usual days of remembrance of the dead: three parental Saturdays, the 2nd, 3rd, 4th Saturdays in Lent, there are other days of remembrance of the dead - Radonitsa (Tuesday of the second week after Easter), since during Easter week itself there are no large funeral prayers, there is only a secret prayer that takes place in the altar, and there is no general funeral prayer. They are transferred to Radonitsa, although the service performed on this day is not so abundantly filled with funeral prayers.

The days of remembrance of the dead are September 11, on the day of the beheading of the head of John the Baptist the remembrance of the dead is also performed, the date came historically - on this day it is customary to commemorate Orthodox warriors, died in Patriotic War 1812, on this day they commemorated and so this day remained for remembrance, and not only of deceased soldiers.

Also today, on May 9, deceased soldiers in the Great Patriotic War are commemorated. On this day, warriors are remembered, although other deceased relatives can also be remembered.

Another day of remembrance of the dead is the day of remembrance of the dead who died during the years of persecution for the faith of Christ, repressed people in the 30s, in godless times. Among the millions of those shot there were many Orthodox Christians, all of them are remembered in a special prayer on the day of the New Martyrs and Confessors of Russia - this is the last Sunday of January (after January 25). On this day, after prayerfully commemorating the saints, we ask for the repose of the souls of the departed.

There are other days of remembrance of the dead, they are not in the church calendar, but with the blessing His Holiness Patriarch they are being accomplished. For example: about those killed in road accidents, about dead liquidators Chernobyl nuclear power plant and etc.

- What should I do in parent's Saturday a believer in order to remember deceased loved ones?

First of all, prayer for them, prayer in church, prayer at home, because there are people who, for good reason, cannot attend church on this day. Therefore, they can pray fervently and heartily at home for their departed relatives - in private home prayer. In the usual Prayer Book there is a “Prayer for the Dead.” The day before, you can give notes with the names of the deceased to those who go to the temple on this day. You can visit a church shop the day before and pass a note so that they will remember you on this day and light a candle, because a burning candle is like a symbol of combustion human soul during prayer. We pray for the departed, and they feel our prayer and their afterlife becomes better from our prayer, becomes blissful. Of course, this depends on the strength of our prayer, and although we cannot make such a prayer as the saints did, so that overnight, through our prayer, the departed would immediately be in heaven, but to the best of our ability in prayers we remember them, make their afterlife easier .

- In the “Prayer for the Dead” there are words “Rest, O Lord, the souls of your departed servants: your parents...” , what words should be spoken if the parents of the person praying are alive?

You can say ancestors, these include grandfathers, great-grandfathers, all deceased members of the clan, which is why Saturday is called parental Saturday, because we pray for the deceased of our clan.

- How to write names correctly in notes if the names of those being remembered are Yuri, Svetlana and Eduard?

All names in the notes must be given in church spelling, for example, George, not Yuri, Fotinia, not Svetlana. Some people pronounce the name on Greek, they can calmly pronounce it in Russian; for some names there is no barrier between languages. But, nevertheless, you need to be guided by the local charter: if they are accepted in the temple with that name, apply, if not, then it’s okay if you correct the name.

But there is rare names, which have no interpretation in church calendar, for example, Eleanor, Edward, Rubin, etc... Therefore, you should write the name given at Baptism, and if it is unknown, resolve this issue with the priest.

- On Parents’ Saturday or on All Souls’ Day, should a person think about afterlife?

A person needs to think about the afterlife not only on this day, but every day of his life. The Proverbs of Solomon says: “In all your deeds remember your end, and you will never sin...”- this is the path to a sinless human life. If we think that we have to appear before God and give an answer for our deeds, then we will try to spend every day of our lives piously and commit fewer sins.

On the days of remembrance of the dead, you need to think about both your afterlife and the afterlife of your deceased relatives. Of course, all these thoughts normal person who understands his spiritual path, follows it, strives to climb the hierarchical ladder of virtue.

- What is the point of a funeral meal?

Those present, eating at the meal, remember their departed relatives, for whom this meal is being prepared. This important point because there is a saying “The well-fed cannot understand the hungry.” When we are full, we don’t think that there are people who are hungry and need to be fed. Often, when there is a funeral, many people come there to eat - there is no opportunity to eat at home. Therefore, being present at this meal, they will remember our deceased relative with prayer. The meal itself is alms done for deceased relatives, because the expenses spent on it are a sacrifice.

Question about those present. This should not be a circle of people who interest us for profitable purposes in order to benefit from them. Therefore, we should invite poor people to the funeral who need to be fed.

Of course, the main thing in commemoration is prayer, but, nevertheless, the memorial meal is a continuation of this prayer. The meal in the church charter is a continuation of the divine service, its integral part. Therefore, by attending a funeral meal, a person is attending a divine service.

- Are funerals allowed with the consumption of alcoholic beverages?

The church charter does not prohibit the consumption of alcoholic beverages at a funeral meal. But sometimes wakes turn into drunkenness, and from commemoration into sin. Therefore, everything should be in moderation. Drinking alcoholic beverages is possible, but I advise those who abstain not to drink, and for those who want to drink, do not remember with alcohol, but remember with a meal, and wash it down with alcohol, so that they do not raise their glasses in memory of a deceased friend.

Is it right to leave candy, cigarettes (if the deceased was a smoker) or even glasses of alcohol in the cemetery?

Some people think that if the deceased smoked during his lifetime, then after his death cigarettes should be brought to the grave, then, following this logic, if a person liked to drive a car, then he needs to bring a car to the cemetery. What else did you love? Dance - let's dance on the grave. Thus, we return to paganism, then there was a funeral feast (rite), whatever happened there. We must understand that if a person had some kind of earthly addiction, it remains on earth, but eternal life this is not the case. Of course, it is inappropriate to put cigarettes or glasses of alcohol. You can leave sweets or cookies, but not on the grave, but on a table or bench, so that a person will come and remember this person. And scold, for example, children for that. It’s not worth it for them to collect sweets - they are put there to remember.

The grave must be kept clean, and nothing needs to be placed on the grave itself. In the absence of a person, birds sit there and shit, and it turns out that the grave is well-groomed, the fence is painted, and the birds or dogs disturb the order - scatter candy wrappers, etc.

The best way out: distribute candies and sweets to those who need them as alms.

- How to speak correctly"Rest in peace"or?

An Orthodox Christian will always say: "Rest in peace", and the atheist says: "May he rest in peace", because he does not believe in the Kingdom of Heaven, but, although, wanting something good, let him still say so to his relative. But Orthodox Christian you need to say correctly: "Rest in peace".

- Which people should not be commemorated in the temple?

- Suicides and unbaptized people are not commemorated in the church. by name. IN common prayer When we come to church to pray, we can present any petitions to the Lord God in our hearts, in our minds. Of course, when a person has deceased who have not been baptized, or deceased who have committed suicide, one cannot forbid turning to the Lord in mental prayer - the Lord himself knows whom and how to determine in the afterlife.

There are cases when suicides are blessed to have a funeral service in absentia. And when the funeral service is performed in absentia, the Diocesan Administration, after commemorating the deceased, says that commemoration in the church of this person is at the discretion of the rector of this church.

In the Church Charter for the decision controversial issues there is an expression “If the abbot pleases”, and this is understood in such a way that if the abbot allows it, you can submit notes, if not, then the priest is guided by the statutory principles.

- Is it possible to remember them with home prayer?

No one limits prayer, although one must understand that the Lord himself will judge Last Judgment. At home we can pray about everything, not only about people, but also about the arrangement in the family and affairs.

- If a person dies during Lent, how can he be commemorated during the week?

During Lent there are some deviations from the rules of ordinary commemoration. The church charter says that if a person dies during Lent, then during the week, neither on the 9th nor on the 40th day, they are not remembered, but a commemoration is held, either on the proper Saturday following this day or on the previous Sunday . For example, if you need to celebrate 9 days on Tuesday, then it is better to collect the commemoration on the previous Sunday.