Many people wonder what 1 year after loss loved one. And here it is important to create not only a delicious menu - the main thing is that it complies with church canons. After all, in Christianity it is believed that exactly one year after death the soul unites with the souls of its ancestors. From now on, the three-stage ritual of remembrance is considered complete. Now, in honor of the memory of a loved one, you can gather in a narrow family circle on special memorial days or some important dates related to someone who no longer exists.
General rules for holding funerals
If a person was baptized during his lifetime, then on the eve of the funeral in the church one must order a funeral Liturgy. It is performed specifically for commemoration when they sound special prayers about the deceased. In addition, you can write the person’s name on special notes that are compiled in the temple. Memorial services are not held for suicides.
If the commemoration falls during Lent, then it is moved to the next weekend.
You don't need to go to the cemetery. This is important for practical purposes: the grave requires care and improvement, the fence requires new paint. It will be symbolic to replace the temporary monument or cross on this very day. From a spiritual point of view, visiting your relative or friend is simply necessary, because on this day it is important to really remember the person, talk about him, pray for his soul, and give alms. It is recommended to treat those who need it - homeless vagabonds or those living in poverty. At the same time, it is not easy to name the person being remembered, but to briefly tell what he was like, remember his good deeds. After this, you can ask to pray for him. It has long been believed that the prayer of those who are deprived of earthly goods has more weight because such people are closer to God. They live in hope and faith, which means that their sincere request for the deceased will definitely be heard.
It would be right to bring flowers. At the wake they should only be alive.
There are several customs associated with this requirement. The first dates back to Ancient Rome, when in the spring graves began to be decorated with all kinds of flowers, and not special days, but in ordinary ones, in order to make the burial place more beautiful. After some time, the cemeteries turned into blooming gardens. As a result, the church forbade taking any floral paraphernalia to funerals, including wreaths, so that relatives could concentrate on prayers.
The Christian tradition preaches something else - the immortality of the soul. This is a kind of allegory that a person, like a flower, never dies. He receives resurrection and eternal life in another, better world, and the soul is constantly reborn. As for the wreath, it must have a cross. This embodies the spiritual depth of grief, a prayerful wish for the soul to find peace. Thus, fresh flowers, unlike artificial ones, symbolize eternal life, eternal love and eternal memory. Therefore, a tradition has developed to use funeral processions and elements of evergreen shrubs and trees.
Premises and appearance
We should also talk about the place. This is, of course, an individual question; it depends on the capabilities and desires of relatives. You can rent a special room and invite everyone or those who were close to the deceased. Then the need to think about the menu will disappear by itself, because public establishments have standard options for different cases. You just need to approve the existing menu or add some dishes to it. However, from a spiritual point of view, the place where a person is remembered should be connected with him, so many families spend memorable evenings at home.
As for clothing, everything is not as strict as on the day of the funeral. Welcome official style: suits, blouses, but there's nothing wrong with modest sweaters and jeans. The main thing is that the clothes are neutral shades. It doesn't have to be black, but a T-shirt with an eye-catching pattern would definitely be out of place. It is important to understand that deaths are an act of remembrance and respect. This is not an entertaining evening, but you shouldn’t turn it into a mournful one either.
According to church canons, you cannot grieve for a long time.
We need to believe and rejoice that our loved one went to better world. Those who are alien to this position should look at it differently - through the eyes of the one you want to remember. Would he like to see his entire family, friends and colleagues burst into tears? Or would he be pleased to hear the stories that connect you all? Would he be offended that you wore a red dress, or would he remark on your taste? Would he smile as his favorite songs were played, or would he prefer silence? As you can see, there is no universal answer.
Organization of a memorial meal
In memory of the deceased, it is necessary to symbolically allocate a place for him at the table: place a chair, cutlery, pour water into a glass and cover it with a piece of bread. The meal should be simple. This is a special ritual at a wake. It serves not to satiate, but to remember and unite the family. Its purpose is to maintain physical and mental strength. Therefore, the table should not be crowded with an abundance of dishes, so that the evening of remembrance does not turn into a noisy feast.
The tradition itself originated in pagan times when food was eaten at the grave of the deceased. U Eastern Slavs funeral rites were accompanied by songs, dances, and various competitions. It was believed that the louder, brighter and richer a person is seen off in last way, the easier it will be new life in another world.
According to Christian rules, what is important in a funeral meal is not food and surroundings, but modesty, humility and spirituality.
In addition, the church insists on the absence of alcohol, because under its influence the occasion of the event is forgotten. And the fact that alcoholic drinks themselves are considered to be fun makes their presence at funerals a repetition of pagan traditions. However, nowadays a funeral dinner is rarely complete without alcohol, so it is necessary to make the consumption symbolic. Sparkling and sweet drinks are unacceptable at such events, as is the common mistake of pouring alcohol on the grave soil. The Church considers this extreme disrespect for the deceased and considers it a sin.
What is required at a funeral table?
No matter how much time has passed since the death of a person - 9 days, 40 or one year - memorial meals in his honor should include dishes and products traditional for such events. These are kutia, pancakes, jelly and honey.
Kutya was used during rituals of worshiping the dead back in Ancient Rome. In Greece, boiled wheat with fruits and berries was served at funerals. She came into Christian life from pagan rites of a similar kind. The symbolism of kutya is that the grains represent life, death and rebirth. Getting into the ground, they give new breath, blossoming, food. The consumption of raisins, berries, and nuts is also associated with this. Honey in porridge symbolizes well-being, sweet and happy life. And if we remember that religion views death as a journey to a better world, then the appearance of this dish on funeral table takes on a deeper meaning.
Kutya is prepared simply. To do this you will need 0.5 kg of rice or wheat, dried apricots, honey, raisins and poppy seeds if desired. The grains need to be soaked in water for several hours and then cooked until tender. Sweet additives are added at the end.
Eating jelly today is more of a tribute to tradition. With the current variety of non-alcoholic drinks, jelly can be replaced with juice, lemonade, uzvar or compote. For the latter, both fresh and frozen berries and fruits can be suitable. In a large saucepan, bring water to a boil, then add the main ingredients and add sugar. All this is cooked until a rich color and pronounced aroma appear.
The compote served should be neutral - not sour, but not very sweet either.
Sample menu
At memorial gatherings, first courses are served. These are light soups, sometimes fish soup, but most often homemade borscht. Its preparation begins with meat broth on the bones, and after some time potatoes are added to it. At the same time, vegetables are sauteed in a frying pan, after which they are also sent to the pan along with shredded cabbage and spices. After 15–20 minutes, the borscht can be removed from the stove. Where there is a first course, there must be a second. This could be mashed potatoes, pasta, buckwheat or noodles. It is prepared from flour and eggs, boiled on chicken broth with spices.
Sandwiches, lavash rolls, casserole, cutlets, sliced sausage and cheese, jellied meat, fish, and fruit are used as snacks. You can also cook puff pastries. It’s much easier to make them with ready-made store-bought dough; all you have to do is choose the filling and put the dessert in the oven.
Thus, sample menu for a funeral meal can be presented like this:
- Kutya;
- borsch;
- herring;
- puree;
- cutlets or fried meat;
- sandwiches;
- fresh fruits and vegetables;
- pickles (including mushrooms);
- baked goods (buns, pancakes or pies);
- candies;
- compote, mineral water.
There is another unofficial tradition - to serve what the deceased liked. His favorite salads, baked goods, snacks can perfectly complement the list traditional dishes. If the wake falls during Lent, the menu should be different. It is necessary to exclude everything that contains animal products. You can serve lean borscht, kutya, potatoes with mushrooms, compote, carrot or cabbage cutlets, and salads. This could be a version of cucumbers and tomatoes or radishes and carrots, as well as a vinaigrette. It is prepared from boiled vegetables: carrots, potatoes and beets with the addition of pickles, green peas and onions.
Pancakes are ideal for a Lenten table. They also have symbolic meaning. We know about it from Maslenitsa traditions - it is a celebration of the sun, renewal, new pure life. You will need wheat or buckwheat flour, dry yeast, water and sugar. Mix everything, then add salt and vegetable oil. You need to bake pancakes in a hot frying pan. You can use mushrooms as a filling.
And again about prayer. Before eating food, the eldest representative of the family turns to God and says good words about the deceased. The meal begins with kutya - everyone should eat at least a few spoons.
Funeral words
reflection of grief and pain of loss
The death of loved ones, relatives, and friends is always a sad and tragic event in the life of every person. At such moments it can be difficult to find the right words to express all the sorrow and pain. How can you say that the deceased was dear? That he was the most wonderful person? State it clearly and clearly best qualities and not to go too far? A funeral speech at a funeral is a text that is pronounced not from a piece of paper, but from the heart.
Funeral speech - sample
First you need to say your name. Not everyone present at a funeral or wake knows you. It should be remembered that long, vague, vague phrases are suitable for political debates, but not for funeral speech. You should speak briefly and to the point. So, examples of speech at a wake:
“I’ll introduce myself for those who don’t know me: my name is (name). We have worked together with (name of deceased) for the past few years and I would like to say a few words in memory of him.
He was a true professional in his field, a specialist with capital letters. Many of our colleagues, young and not only, learned the basics of their craft from him and often used his advice and help. He was very patient and responsive, he could always listen to everyone who turned to him for support, advise something, help out, and never refused anyone’s requests. He could perfectly lift the spirits of anyone who was upset, confused or depressed about something. The countless stories he tells funny stories, toasts, jokes and anecdotes could amuse anyone. We will all greatly miss him at our dinner gatherings and corporate events, where he invariably shone at the table, lifting our morale. There is no other person like him in our team. And maybe in my memory it will no longer be
We will all miss him greatly. Until the end of his life, he will remain in my memory and the memory of all our colleagues as an example of perseverance, sparkling cheerfulness, activity and professionalism!
Rest in peace, dear colleague!”
“My grandmother was a wonderful person with a difficult but interesting fate. Her along with three younger brothers and her sister, her mother raised her alone in difficult post-war years. To say that they lived poorly then would be an understatement. She had to endure many difficulties and hardships, but she never lost her optimism and presence of mind, constantly helping her mother and taking care of the younger members of the family. And later, having married her military grandfather, she steadfastly endured all the hardships of service. In any circumstances, she always maintained exemplary order at home and taught all family members to do so. Grandma was sometimes strict, but fair. I am glad that I managed to learn from her neatness and order, the ability to organize my life. And her famous apple pies were simply incomparable, no one else could do them!
I will always remember you, my dear, beloved grandmother! Your warmth, love and care will remain with us forever"
How to choose the right words?
Based on the examples presented above, several basic rules can be identified:
- It is best to address the audience in the introduction. For example: " Dear friends and the relatives of our beloved (name) ... ".
- It is necessary to introduce yourself. What does it have to do with not only the name, but also the degree of your acquaintance, relationship: “My name is Alexey, (name) and I have been close friends (colleagues) for many (you can be more specific) years.”
- It would not be amiss to say a few words about your own experiences, about the pain that the announcement of death caused.
- The following words characterize the deceased. Here it is important to remember the old Russian proverb, which perfectly indicates what they say at funerals: “It’s either good or nothing about the dead.”
- In conclusion, condolences or standard, but still relevant memorial words are said: “May he rest in peace,” “Rest in peace,” and so on.
In general, we note that the speech at the wake differs from the one pronounced directly at the funeral. So, at the moment of farewell it is customary to speak very briefly. Here, words of condolences are mainly spoken to the relatives of the deceased.
The funeral speech on the day of the funeral should under no circumstances be a memorized text. A few words from the heart, imbued with sincere empathy, would be more appropriate. In the first days, the relatives of the deceased are unable to perceive reality. The grief they have suffered is too hard for them, so their feelings should be respected.
Memorial words for 40 days, for an anniversary can be more intense. Here they often remember the best about the deceased. But even after time, one should not remember insults, disagreements and quarrels. If you can’t overcome this in yourself, the best thing to do is to remain silent or limit yourself to a couple of standard phrases.
Funeral poems
It was already indicated above that poetry would be extremely inappropriate at a funeral. A memorial speech for 40 days, 1 year may contain a small poetic inclusion. These could be the words of great poets or lines from an epitaph. Memorial poems for the anniversary of death mostly contain warm words that can be attributed to the personality of the deceased, and to a lesser extent condolences and bitterness. Examples include:
When parents leave
The light in the window fades forever.
Empty Father's house and maybe
I dream much more often.
* * *
We know you can't be brought back
Your deeds are an eternal memory,
And only your pure soul is with us,
You illuminate our life path.
* * *
Sleep, my angel, peacefully and sweetly.
Eternity will take you into its arms.
You held yourself with dignity and steadfastness
Survived these hellish torments.
* * *
On this day full of heartache,
We sympathize with your misfortune,
Our life, unfortunately, is not eternal,
Every day we are getting closer to the line...
Our condolences... Strength of spirit
We wish you at this moment,
May the earth rest in peace to those close to you,
May the Almighty protect you from troubles.
* * *
When you left, the light went dark,
And time suddenly stopped.
And they wanted to live together forever...
Well, why did this all happen?!
* * *
May your sleep be serene
No one will ever disturb you,
Nothing can break it
Oblivion of eternal peace.
* * *
Thank you, dear, for being in the world!
Thank you for loving me.
For all the years that we lived together.
I ask you not to forget me.
* * *
We remember, dear, and mourn,
The wind blows coldly on my heart.
We love you forever,
No one will replace you for us.
* * *
How we loved - only the Gods know.
Only we knew how we suffered.
After all, we went through all the hardships with you,
But we could not step over death...
* * *
In that vicious circle– twist it, don’t twist it –
It will not be possible to find the end and the beginning.
Our role in this world is to come and go.
Who will tell us about the goal, about the meaning of the path?
* * *
There are no, Lord, sins and atrocities
Above Thy mercy!
Slave/slave of the earth and vain desires
Forgive the sins for his/her sorrows!
What was his life like? - Heavy sleep.
What is death? - Awakening from terrible dreams.
Woke up, he smiled -
And again, maybe the dream began there.
* * *
You left and it immediately began to snow.
May you have a good time there.
Let him cover himself with a soft white blanket
The land where you are no longer there...
* * *
Without chasing meaningless fame,
Keeping love in your heart,
He left, but managed to leave us
Eternal music bright motive
* * *
This order is unshakable.
The passage of time is eternal.
Let it be quiet and sweet
Your peaceful sleep!
Funeral poems are published in the newspaper as condolences. Words at the wake should not contain ambiguous phrases. Extremely clear and understandable lines for all those present will be the most appropriate and correct.
Funeral toasts
The funeral usually ends with a memorial dinner. While at such a table, you must follow the rules of mourning etiquette. It is not allowed to talk loudly or laugh. You should not interrupt the person making a speech at the wake. Often at the table, speech takes the form of a toast. Funeral toasts at a wake are significantly different from ordinary ones. They do not contain a call for fun, but Once again emphasize the bitterness and pain of loss.
They sit in the next world, in Paradise, souls at the table, talking, drinking, pouring more. One overturned his jug, but it was empty. “That’s it,” he said, “I’ve been forgotten on Earth.” So let’s drink so that the jugs of our departed loved ones do not become empty!
Blessed memory of those who have left us, Let us drink to this now. May our hearts, like granite, preserve the memory of loved ones who have passed away. Let all the good things that happened to them not be buried in a damp grave. As long as we preserve our memories, they will live with us for as long.
Toasts at a wake can be pronounced in poetic form:
The philosopher knew that everything has its time,
Fate cannot be deceived:
The poet has been lonely for centuries -
May the glorious one be completed...
There is no water in the funeral cup!
Let's not grieve:
The midnight star will rise -
We will meet again!
Let it pour from the righteous peaks,
Before the days are gone,
The melody of your soul -
Why be sad about her?
Christian wake
One of the most widespread religions is Orthodoxy. Orthodox funerals differ significantly from secular ones. So, for example, speeches at funerals are practically not spoken for 40 days, 1 year. Christians gather at the table these days and pray together for the soul of the deceased. It is also customary these days to go to church and submit memorial notes, a sample of which can be seen in the church shop.
In Russia, it is customary to celebrate important dates - during life these are birthdays, and after death - to remember the day of departure. This date is especially important for Christians. After all, they believe in the resurrection and subsequent eternal life with God. Therefore, the existence of the soul has no end for believers. How can one honorably, in a Christian manner, remember the deceased on the anniversary of his death?
Funeral traditions
In Orthodoxy, it is customary to remember the dead; the ancient Slavs also had such a ritual. It takes place on the day of the funeral itself, then 9 or 40 days later. On the anniversary of death, it is also customary to gather for a special meal. How to remember the deceased if he was a Christian? The most important thing is, of course, prayer. It is also necessary to refrain from heavy libations, or better yet, from alcohol altogether. Under no circumstances should ceremonial commemorations turn into riotous fun. This is very far from Christian traditions.
In addition to private prayer, on the anniversary of death in the church they order:
- a special commemoration during the Liturgy is the morning service, during which pieces are taken from the consecrated bread for the departed. It is customary to order the so-called “Sorokoust” - they will commemorate at forty services;
- memorial service - usually served on Saturdays, but you can arrange with the priest for another day. You can come to the funeral service weekly, but the anniversary is a particularly important day;
- Lithium is another type of funeral service, it is somewhat shorter than a memorial service. It is served at any time; you can bring a priest to the cemetery to perform it.
It is imperative that the family members and friends of the deceased themselves pray at any memorial. After all, the priest cannot convey the feelings and emotions that loved ones experience. He acts as a performer of the ritual. Of course, his prayer has power, but you cannot entrust everything to others. After all we're talking about about the posthumous fate of a loved one.
But this is not all that is ordered in the church. The Psalter is appropriate for the anniversary of death. Usually it is ordered from monasteries and is done for a long time. Depending on the donation for a month, six months or a whole year. Again, be sure to remember the deceased yourself every day. For this purpose in morning rule There are special short prayers.
Church shops sell special books where you can write down everyone who needs to be remembered. You can take this book to church so that you don’t forget anyone when submitting notes. When the deacon or priest reads the notes, be sure to pray yourself.
Other days of remembrance
There are both private funerals and special ones church holidays when is it customary to go to cemeteries? This is the so-called “parents day”, it is celebrated several times. On these days, we also need to remember the dead, regardless of when they passed away.
- The 2nd Tuesday after Easter is a moving day. In some Russian regions there is a tradition of visiting graves on the day Christ's Resurrection, although this is not officially approved - Easter is such a bright day that it is believed that there are no dead on this day.
Even if this is not the anniversary of death, the joyful words “Christ is Risen!” all the departed must hear. Title y memorable day the corresponding one is Radonitsa. For everyone there is hope for eternity with God, so this day is intended for shared joy - in heaven and on earth. It is customary to have a meal at graves, bring colored eggs, pancakes, and distribute the leftovers of the meal to the poor.
All the deceased are also commemorated on other days:
- Trinity Saturday is the Saturday before Pentecost;
- Meat Saturday - before the start of Lent;
- Saturdays during Great Lent - 2nd, 3rd, 4th.
The deceased person still remains a member of the universal church, so memorial services can be ordered constantly.
How to spend a sad anniversary
A dignified death is the crown of a believer’s life. IN daily prayers there are petitions that God will grant a shameless death. Orthodox Christians strive to confess and receive communion before meeting the Creator. There are special rituals that are performed on the dying person. After death they are no longer repeated.
In order for the anniversary of death to be celebrated with dignity, it is necessary to begin the commemoration in the temple. This could be a presence at the Liturgy, then at a memorial service, or simply a pre-ordered lithium. After this, go to the cemetery, perform a civil memorial service there, or read the 17th kathisma. After this, have a meal, remember the deceased, and clean the grave. Drinking vodka, especially pouring it on a grave, is not Orthodox custom, which will not help the deceased in any way!
It is better to bring fresh flowers to graves; this is in accordance with Christian traditions. There is never artificial greenery in churches, because God has no dead. At one time, the church even tried to ban the tradition of decorating coffins with wreaths with inscriptions, but it was not easy to defeat it. This custom is not so much caused by greed or paganism, but is aimed against vandalism, which, unfortunately, is often found in Russian cemeteries.
But you can and should abstain from drinking. The pain of loss is great, but we must find other ways to cope with it. It is unlikely that the deceased will be pleased with such behavior. It is better not to spend money on intoxicating drinks, but to distribute it to the poor as a way to commemorate the soul.
How to remember the deceased for a year after death at home
You can commemorate the death anniversary at home. It happens that it is impossible to go to the cemetery due to different circumstances. Then it is necessary to invite everyone who wants to participate to prepare a special meal. The customs of placing a device for the deceased and covering mirrors are not Orthodox.
Before sitting down to the table, you need to pray. One of the relatives must read the 17th kathisma, or the rite of requiem. Candles are lit during prayer. Then you can start eating. It must be held with dignity, conversations must be decent, jokes and laughter are inappropriate.
Pagan meals for the dead were held with great pomp. It was believed that the more expensive and magnificent the funeral feast, the better it would be for the newly deceased beyond the grave. Triznes were accompanied not only by copious libations, but also by dances, songs, and competitions. The meaning of Christian funerals and wakes is completely different. They must maintain the prayerful memory of a person who is not even considered dead, but has passed on to another world.
Special dishes are served at the table. Kutya is definitely one of them. This is wheat porridge, which is sometimes replaced with rice. But its main feature is that it is prepared sweet, seasoned with raisins, other dried fruits, and honey. It is advisable to consecrate this food during the service. The sweetness symbolizes the joy that awaits the righteous in heaven.
- Also a traditional funeral dish are pancakes, which are usually washed down with jelly.
- Table setting should be ordinary. You can put fresh ones on the table spruce branches, decorate the edges of the tablecloth with black lace.
- Each change of dishes should be accompanied by the prayer: “Rest, O Lord, the soul of Thy servant (name).” You should also pray after your meal. But it is not customary to thank the hosts for the funeral meal.
When all the necessary prayers have been read, someone can also read poems on the anniversary of death. There are no church prohibitions on this matter. Poems should remind of the virtues of the deceased, of his spiritual qualities. Of course, everyone has shortcomings, but Christians trust in God’s mercy, try not to remember them, but to pray for their sins to be forgiven.
It is customary to celebrate the anniversary of death not only in Russia. The deceased are also commemorated in Asian countries. Japan, Vietnam, Korea and China have their own traditions. Followers of Judaism commemorate deceased parents, brothers, and children. True, their anniversary date does not coincide with the generally accepted calendar. During the funeral, it is customary to fast, meat and wine are prohibited.
How to honor the deceased yourself
What prayers are read at home on the anniversary of death to remember the deceased? The Psalter is best suited; the reading instructions are indicated in every Orthodox publication. In this case, between the psalms there are special prayers where the names of the deceased are mentioned. This is the most the best option. You can also read akathists, but the Psalms were written much earlier. Also everyone Christian churches acknowledge their inspiration.
There are cases when the Church Charter prohibits commemorating the deceased at the Liturgy, ordering memorial services for them, or holding a funeral service. This applies to those who were baptized, but did not regularly go to church, that is, were not churched. A person who takes part in confession and Communion is considered to be a churchgoer; all others are considered “parishioners.”
True, in practice, deviations from this rule are often made. It all depends on the ruling bishop. In any case, it is necessary to clarify this issue with the clergy.
It is also clearly prohibited on behalf of the Church to commemorate those who took their own lives voluntarily. If a person died in war while protecting others, it is not considered suicide. In general, death in war is one of the most honorable. But death from a drug overdose is a type of suicide.
However, the holy fathers teach to hope in God's mercy. You are allowed to pray for such people in private; there is even a special akathist for suicides, compiled in the last century. You can also add something of your own, but you shouldn’t be too zealous either. We do not know all spiritual laws; such prayers can end in mental disorder for someone who wants to do a good deed.
Why remember the dead
When a person has finished his earthly journey, he does not need any lavish funeral, nor an expensive coffin or marble monument. Prayer is the main help we can provide to our deceased loved ones. This is not just a tribute to tradition, but a saving thread that can lead a person to the Kingdom of God. It is especially important to pray in the first days when the soul goes through ordeals. But even after a year or two has passed, this must be done.
After physical death a person remains in the memory of relatives and close people. Therefore, on the day of his death, they gather to remember him together. At the same time, there are certain rules that have become traditions. This is uttering heartfelt words, reading poems and prayers. This will be discussed in the article.
About some traditions of commemoration
- Commemoration (or commemoration) is a series of ritual actions to maintain the memory of the dead. Mainly by organization memorial days relatives are involved. If there are no such people left, then friends or other close people.
- Usually, funeral traditions are based on certain beliefs - paganism, Islam, Hinduism. Therefore different nations they are different. For Russians, the rules of remembrance are closely related to the Christian faith. Sometimes rituals taken from different religious movements and local customs are mixed. Often, certain rituals are created on this basis.
- In the Russian Christian tradition there are a number of basic rules, deviations from which rarely occur. For example, funeral and other prayers are read in church only if the deceased was baptized according to Orthodox rite. And also in churches they do not pray for those who independently committed suicide or preached heretical beliefs.
Memorial dates
- Orthodox Christians hold a wake immediately after the funeral.
- IN soon after death, the deceased are remembered three times: the first time - on the third day after death; the second time - on the ninth; the third time - on the fortieth.
- Subsequently, a wake is held every year on the day of death.
Funeral service after the funeral and on the year of death
The meaning of memorial days
Commemoration on each of these days has its own special meaning associated with the events Christian history.
The third day
The funeral meal on the third day is celebrated in connection with with the ascension of Jesus Christ into heaven on the third day after his crucifixion. The resurrection from the dead and the passage to eternal life is the main doctrine of Christian teaching. According to church tradition, after death human soul"wanders" before higher powers it will be determined where she will go before Last Judgment- to heaven or hell. For the first three days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, visiting the places of his life in the bodily shell and the people with whom the person was connected.
Ninth day
On the ninth day, the wake is celebrated as a celebration of the angels who ask God for mercy on the soul of the deceased. At this time, the soul of a deceased person flies around the heavenly abodes, getting acquainted with the forms of other life. On the ninth day, the closest relatives are invited to the funeral. A photograph of the deceased is placed near the table at which they dine. A glass filled with vodka is placed next to it, and a piece of bread is placed on it. It should be noted that the custom of placing a glass has its roots in pagan beliefs. For true Christians it is unacceptable.
Fortieth day
After nine days, the soul is presented with pictures of the torment of sinners serving their posthumous punishment in hell. This continues until the fortieth day. On this day, the Almighty finally determines where the soul of the deceased will be sent. Everyone is invited to the wake on the fortieth day, as well as those who were absent from the funeral.
How to conduct a memorial on the anniversary of death
Here are some rules observed at funerals on the anniversary of death.
What do they order in church on the anniversary of death?
According to Christian teaching, reading prayers for the souls of the departed is the duty of the living. Thanks to this, the lot of sinners is made easier. It is precisely to raise petitions to the Almighty for the forgiveness of the sins of the dead that the reading of funeral prayers in church is aimed. You can order a memorial service not only on the anniversary of death, but also on other days.
In churches there are special types of services for such prayers:
- Commemoration of the deceased during the Divine - main Christian worship.
- Funeral services.
- Lithium.
- Reading the Psalter.
How they are remembered during the Liturgy
This type of commemoration is the most significant. The names of the dead are mentioned:
One of the outstanding experts on church charter Saint Athanasius (in the world - Sakharov) notes that the reading of funeral prayers during the proskomedia and after the consecration of the holy gifts is the most important. He says that such prayers, although unspoken, cannot be compared in their strength and effectiveness with any other prayers or even deeds in memory of the departed.
Memorial service
Translated from Greek language literally a memorial service means night service . This name is used for prayer for the dead due to the fact that its structure is similar to one of the parts of the all-night vigil. And also because ancient Christians performed services at night. This was a forced phenomenon, since they were subjected to constant persecution. A memorial service is one of the most common services ordered to remember deceased relatives on the anniversary of death. In addition to the church, funeral services are performed both at home and at the grave. You can pray on it for one or several dead people.
Lithium
The everlasting psalter
- This prayer is read continuously for several days. Usually it is ordered in monasteries, where the monks read it while sitting, replacing each other. The Psalter is a collection of ancient psalms written primarily by the biblical King David. They have great power and are considered a great mercy for departed souls. After reading the Indestructible Psalter, sinful souls are purified, defeat demons and rise from the flames of hell.
- Since ancient times, the Indestructible Psalter, like other prayers, has been read at funerals of relatives and at home. To do this, there are a number of rules that must be followed. In order for prayers to have an effect, the rules must be followed with great precision. The relatives agree in advance on the order in which they will read the Unsleeping Psalter.
How to properly order a memorial in church
Rules for reading prayers at home on the anniversary of death
The rules for reading the psalter on the anniversary of death look like this.
- Having united in a group, relatives read the Indestructible Psalter in its entirety over the course of one day.
- Arriving at their home, each of them reads one of the twenty parts of the psalter, called kathisma (which means sitting), mentioning everyone who also participates in the ritual. This creates a feeling of unity among all those praying at this time for the soul of the deceased.
- The next day, the reading option is repeated by each relative at home, but with the reading of a different part of the psalter.
- In total, prayers must be repeated at least forty times.
In conclusion, it must be said that before starting the wake at the table, you need to select appropriate words for the anniversary of death so as not to offend relatives and the memory of the deceased. Sometimes those gathered read memorial poems on the anniversary of death. It is better if they contain warm feelings towards the deceased, and not just express the bitterness of loss.
Every person comes into this world to fulfill his destiny. But there comes a time when you have to leave earthly world and go to eternity. gives life, and he takes it away. In Orthodoxy there are basic customs and traditions on how to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death.
Wake. History of the ritual
A ritual such as a wake is carried out by the relatives of the deceased. It arose a long time ago on the basis of Christianity. Moreover, it combined several rituals from several religions. However, this rite can only be performed on those who have been baptized. The Church does not pray for those who have taken their own lives, the unbaptized, and people of other religions.
Orthodox Christians hold funeral services 3 times: on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day after death. The basis of this ritual is as follows:
- Relatives or friends are preparing a funeral table.
- Everyone who knew the deceased is welcome to come and take a place at the table.
- They eat and remember the deceased good words, they tell interesting cases from his life.
- The remaining food is distributed to all guests so that they still think about the deceased.
For 40 days after death, the soul is in search and ignorance. For the first 3 days, she visits all her native and familiar places, being close to those who were close during life. Until the 9th day, he gets acquainted with places called paradise. And until the 40th day he sees the suffering of people who are in hell.
On the 40th day God's judgment pronounces a verdict on where a person’s soul should find peace. The beginning of this eternal life is considered the anniversary of death.
The most invited to the anniversary Dear people. They try to call those whom the deceased would like to see during his lifetime. Preparation for the meal begins in advance.
How to prepare a funeral meal
First of all, you need to determine what day the anniversary of the death falls on. If it is a day of fasting, it is necessary to prepare meatless dishes. If it’s a normal day, you can include in the menu those dishes that the deceased loved. It is prohibited to place any alcoholic beverages on the table.
You definitely need to prepare kutya and consecrate it in the church. As a rule, Orthodox Christians prepare it from rice or wheat with raisins.
Much attention is paid to table setting. Everything should be modest; forks are not placed on the table on Memorial Day. They are seated at the table even number guests, the same number of devices are placed.
But the main point is reading prayers and saying kind words about the deceased. You need to light a candle or lamp, put a photograph in a mourning frame.
For the deceased, a glass of water is placed on the table, which is covered with a piece of bread, a spoon and a small cup of salt are placed next to it.
Visit to the cemetery
Before sitting down to the table, you must visit the grave of the deceased. If for some reason this cannot be done on the day of the funeral, you can come to the cemetery on another day. Just be sure to arrive at the burial site before noon.
You should take a candle with you, which you need to put and light in a special glass. Flowers will not be out of place: fresh or artificial, depending on the time of year. According to pagan rituals, many people bring food with them, leaving candy or what the deceased loved on the grave: apples, cigarettes, pies.
True believers remember the deceased only with prayers and the laying of fresh flowers.
The Christian faith believes that memory can only be honored through prayer. In this case, even the most grave sins can forgive. Therefore, you need to order a Memorial Service in the church. You can also order Sorokoust about the deceased, which will be recited for 40 days, 6 months or a whole year.
Be sure to light a candle for the repose of your soul. You can invite a priest to the grave, who will read the akafest and perform a litia.
Is the deceased remembered on his birthday?
In some families, it is customary to remember the deceased on the day he would have had a birthday. Is it correct? According to ancient beliefs, the birthday of the deceased ceased to have any meaning, since now the date of death is the date of birth of a new life. Therefore, our ancestors did not remember this day and did not go to the cemetery.
The priests believe that they can commemorate him at any time, including on his birthday on earth. Only this remembrance should occur in prayers and thoughts about the deceased.
How to remember a deceased person on the anniversary of his death if he voluntarily passed away or was unbaptized? The answer can be found in the letter of the Apostle Paul to the Colossians, who says that for God everyone is equal. Therefore, no matter how a person died, at least close people should remember him on his anniversary. After all, only prayers will help him cleanse himself from the sins of worldly life.
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