THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE.
Why is a wedding necessary when getting married?
In Christianity, the family is called the “small church.” From this point of view, relationships within the family are seen as not just everyday, everyday ones. The family is a Christian mystery, and it is not without reason that it begins with the Sacrament of Marriage; it exists through the grace of this Sacrament and draws strength from it.
In the Sacrament of Marriage, the Church blesses the bride and groom to live together, to give birth and raise children. The bride and groom must promise God that they will be faithful to each other throughout their lives.
After the priest three times pronounces the mystical words: Lord our God, I crown (them) with glory and honor and blesses the bride and groom, they become husband and wife. From now on they are no longer two different people, but “one flesh”, which no man can and should not try to separate or destroy. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder, we read in the Gospel (Matthew 19:6). Separation of spouses is a sin not only before the children who were born to them, but also before God and His Church
What does the Church say about the responsibilities of spouses?
The Church of Christ offers in the apostolic reading prescribed for marriage the true teaching about the mutual duties of husband and wife. The marriage union, according to the word of God, is a great mystery (Eph. 5:32): it reflects the spiritually grace-filled union of Christ the Savior and His Church.
A husband must love his wife as Christ loves the Church: love unfailingly until the end of his life, love until he is ready to suffer and die for her. A wife, along with love for her husband, must have obedience. Although, according to the teachings of the Church, the husband is given power, his primacy is not an advantage, but a duty.
Such love is able to endure all the hardships in life, is able to make amends for the dissimilarity of characters, the difference in external qualities, and various shortcomings.
“It is difficult to stand alone in a strong and saving union. The threads of nature are torn, but grace is irresistible. Arrogance is dangerous everywhere, especially here. Therefore, humbly, with fasting and prayer, approach the Sacrament,” St. Theophan the Recluse advised those intending to get married.
How to adequately prepare for the Sacrament?
On the wedding day, it is customary to serve a prayer service to the Lord Jesus Christ for the blessing of a good deed. Parents bless those preparing to get married: the groom with an icon of the Savior, the bride with an icon of the Mother of God.
On the wedding day, the bride and groom confess, pray during the liturgy and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ.
Is it necessary to get married after registration?
Since a church wedding is a Sacrament in which the power of Divine grace operates, and not just a beautiful ceremony, those entering into marriage must treat it consciously and responsibly. Based on this, the Church considers it necessary to make sure of the seriousness of the intentions of those entering into marriage and currently performs the sacrament of marriage only after the marriage is registered in the registry office. If registration and wedding are separated by some period of time, then until the church marriage takes place, one should abstain from marital relations.
Does the Church recognize civil marriage?
Marriage performed through state registration, Russian Orthodox Church considers valid (albeit insufficient for spouses professing Orthodox faith) and treats him with respect. If we're talking about about a relationship that is not secured by any state act, then the Church identifies these completely irresponsible relationships as prodigal cohabitation and considers them sinful.
Is it possible for spouses to get married already? for a long time those who are married, registered in the registry office, but unmarried?
The Church never refuses the grace of the Sacrament, even if the spouses are of advanced age. Often they take the meaning of the Sacrament more seriously, prepare for it more responsibly and make the decision to get married after a serious period: reviewing their lives, acquiring true faith and joining the church.
Does the Church allow a second marriage?
The Orthodox Church considers a marriage entered into in the Church to be fundamentally indissoluble. Only adultery (violation of marital fidelity) is a complete canonical basis for the dissolution of a church marriage, because adultery effectively destroys a marriage. It should be remembered, however, that this dissolution is not a “debunking”, that is, a sacred act opposite to a wedding, but only a recognition of the fact of the destruction of the marriage.
Divorce of a church marriage is a prerogative church court, which is headed by the diocesan bishop. Only after this the Church blesses the innocent spouse to enter into a second marriage.
Second marriages are allowed by the Church only out of leniency towards human weaknesses, which is why prayers of repentance are added to the order for second marriages.
What should you do with wedding candles after the wedding?
Pious Russian custom involves careful storage of wedding candles as memories of the Sacrament of Marriage. Sometimes they are placed in the icon case, which they received as a blessing from their parents for marriage. Wedding candles can be lit briefly during times of separation from a spouse or marital discord. The flame of a wedding candle will remind a spouse who has forgotten about love how happy he was on his wedding day, and will remind him of the need to preserve his family with all his might. According to ancient Russian custom, wedding candles are placed in the coffin of the spouse who died last.
It should be remembered: the wedding is not performed
- during all four multi-day fasts;
- during Cheese Week (Maslenitsa);
- on Bright (Easter) Week;
- from the Nativity of Christ (January 7) to Epiphany (January 19);
- on the eve of the twelve holidays;
- on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the year;
― September 10, 11, 26 and 27 due to strict fasting for the sake of the Beheading of John the Baptist and the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord);
- on the eve of patronal church days (each church has its own).
The sacrament of wedding is a serious, responsible step, one of the church rites that unites spouses in life and after death. You should prepare for it spiritually and physically, because this is a step towards family life until death separates the couple. However, in Lately some couples thoughtlessly decide to get married, without realizing the seriousness of this action. Such relationships are often short-lived. Unfortunately, marriages often break up. Divorce statistics in Russia are very disappointing - more than half of registered relationships end in divorce.
How to get a divorce if the spouses were married?
In practice, debunking does not exist. The spouses are divorced in the registry office, according to the laws, and live separately. If one of the spouses wants to get married again, then he needs to submit a petition to the bishop for permission to remarry.
This procedure is called “debunking,” although in fact it is receiving a blessing for a subsequent marriage
Thus, the answer to the question is it possible to get married a second time after a divorce - yes, it is possible, with the permission of the church. You can get married up to three times. But the reasons for divorce, according to church statutes, must be significant. An excuse like “they don’t get along” will not work.
12 Sep 2018 at 12:27 PDT
The Church has an extremely negative attitude towards any divorce, considering it a tragedy and a kind of death of the family. Especially if it's a wedding. But in any case, if family life turns out to be impossible for one or both spouses, then divorce is inevitable.
The consequences of this difficult decision may be difficult, but this is a matter of conscience for each spouse. The Church does not impose any contempt or punishment on divorced people - it's everyone's personal business, and they will answer to themselves and to God. Important question, which people who are planning to get a divorce should ask themselves - is it possible to save the family or is it impossible.
How does church divorce happen?
Since there is no such thing as a church divorce after a wedding, there is only the concept of obtaining permission to remarry, this issue should be considered from the point of view of receiving a blessing.
Reasons for for the church to declare the marriage invalid:
- betrayal of one of the spouses;
- change of religion of one of the spouses;
- entering into another marriage;
- abortion of a wife without the consent of her husband in the absence medical indications to termination of pregnancy;
- sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS, syphilis and so on;
- an attempt to encroach on the life of the other spouse;
- disappearance of one spouse for more than 3 years;
- inability to have children due to self-mutilation;
- severe form of drug addiction, alcoholism;
- if the spouse is sentenced to imprisonment for serious crimes.
Cause must be proven relevant document or other evidence or certificate.
Spouses must be divorced at the registry office before obtaining permission
To apply, you need to contact the local Diocesan administration, where they will tell you how to make a request correctly and in whose name.
The petition must be accompanied by a divorce certificate and other documents confirming the reason for the divorce. If the bishop considers the grounds for divorce to be compelling, he will give permission for a second wedding. However, if the spouse, through whose fault the divorce occurred - infidelity, entering into another marriage, and so on - wishes to get married again, then he will most likely be denied such a petition, since he is to blame for the collapse of his marriage. past family. You need to understand that They don’t just give blessings for a wedding.
If you are in doubt about what is best to do, you can always consult with your confessor or the same priest who performed the wedding ceremony. If this is not possible, you can go to a nearby temple and talk to the priest. Most likely, he will answer all questions and help with advice on what to do in the current difficult situation.
What to do with wedding candles after divorce?
The candles that the newlyweds hold in their hands during the wedding are called wedding candles. After performing their sacrament bring home and store along with the icons that were used to bless the newlyweds for marriage.
Wedding candles are not a shrine, so no special rituals need to be performed
Candles are possible burn for prayer or take it to the temple. It is not forbidden to leave them and store them in a box or next to the icons. You should not throw them away or give them to someone else. Although the signs and superstitions associated with candles are mostly fiction, it is worth finding a better use for them.
Rushnik (towel) You can also donate to the temple if it unpleasantly reminds you of a broken marriage.
Towel left after divorce
What to do with wedding icons after divorce?
Wedding icons are called paired icons with the image Holy Mother of God and Jesus Christ, with which spouses are blessed during the sacrament of wedding.
Icons can be donated to the temple, indicating that they are wedding icons. But icons do not depend in any way on when and under what circumstances they were acquired. Nothing prevents you from praying in front of them and lighting candles.
If wedding icons do not cause any sad associations, then let them remain in the house, along with other icons, if any
As for the wedding ring and dress, again, you can keep them or donate a ring to the temple, alter the dress or give it away, or maybe even throw it away. A dress, a ring - these are just things, memorable, but not possessing any mystical power. They do not in any way affect a person's life after a divorce.
You can donate a ring to the temple
Divorce is always a tragic event, even if it frees the spouses from an unhappy family life. Before legalizing a repeat relationship, you need to weigh everything and take the issue of getting married again seriously. Despite the fact that the church allows you to get married more than once, you should not use this permission lightly, especially if this is not the first wedding for the newlyweds.
Elena Novikova always considered herself a sane person. She never supported conversations about aliens and brownies, and did not believe in Christmas fortune-telling and other magic. Therefore, I did not pay attention to the words of my friend, who was sincerely indignant that she Wedding Dress she sews herself. No amount of persuasion or intimidation convinced Elena to get rid of the outfit.
And on the most solemn day in her life, minor troubles fell on the girl as if from a cornucopia. She used a stiletto heel to make a significant hole in her skirt, dropped her veil before entering the registration hall, and then could not put the wedding ring on Yura’s finger. Looking back at the guests, she saw the frightened eyes of her friend, who, as if wound up, was whispering: “Oh, all this is not good.”
Contrary to predictions and signs, the newlyweds lived in perfect harmony. The further the wedding day went into the past, the more often Elena recalled with laughter how awkward she had been then. Her main occupation was caring for the Novikov boys, father and son.
Five years ago, the Novikovs decided to get married. “I never blindly follow fashion, especially in such matters,” says Elena. “But over the thirteen years that Yura and I had lived together by that time, we became very close. And his mother, when she came to visit us, kept saying that we needed to unite our souls in church marriage, so that later, after death, we would not be lost. And I thought, why not."
Before the wedding, Yuri bought two candles and wrapped them in handkerchiefs to make it easier to hold. Seeing this, one of the church servants rushed to him and whispered: “You should have wax in your hands, and if it drips, it’s okay, you have to be patient. These candles are like mirrors of your lives; they should be saturated with your warmth, and not suffocate in a rag.” Not quite understanding what the old woman was talking about, Yura nevertheless put the handkerchiefs into his pocket.
But the elderly woman did not let up. Grabbing Elena by the sleeve, she whispered to her that wedding candles cannot be extinguished, they must burn out on their own - by the remains of the candles they judge which of the spouses will outlive whom. In conclusion, the old lady added: “Take care of the candles all your life! And God forbid someone breaks down - not a single doctor can cure him.”
The Novikovs perceived what they heard before the wedding as the meaningless speech of a grandmother who had lost her mind and did not consider it of great importance. Two wedding candles, which, by the way, burned out in exactly the same way, stood for some time in a crystal glass in the sideboard, and then Elena wrapped them in a scarf and put them in the closet.
Life flowed as usual, and it seemed that nothing would disturb its well-established course. But then Elena began to notice that something was happening to her husband. Always energetic, did not know what pills were and sick leave, Yuri increasingly began to return from work to feeling unwell.
One night Elena woke up from her husband's groan. He was writhing from unbearable pain. At the hospital, doctors were unable to make an accurate diagnosis and the man was sent home. But the pain constantly returned, the doctors just shrugged their shoulders, tests showed that Yuri’s body was generally healthy, writes Chronometer.
After a month of suffering, Yuri lost twelve kilograms. Elena studied medical reference books, but to no avail. One night Novikov became very ill. “He was vomiting blood, the scale of the thermometer was not enough to measure his temperature,” Elena recalls. - In just a few hours he became like a shadow. I was tossing around, not knowing what to do, and I felt that my Yurochka was dying.”
Elena was allowed into the intensive care unit, where relatives have no access. Maybe because they were sure: the woman sees her husband alive last hours. She sat next to him, held her lover’s hand and for some reason remembered their wedding. How many troubles were predicted for her then, but for many years everything was fine. And then Elena remembered her grandmother with speeches about wedding candles.
Novikova rushed home, without undressing, she rushed into the room where the closet stood. The candles were found in the far corner of the shelf, stuck in a crack near the wall. When Elena unwrapped the scarf, only one whole candle rolled out onto her palm. The second broke almost in half and was barely held on by a thin thread of wick. According to the mark that Elena made on it with nail polish after the wedding, it was Yura's candle.
The woman still doesn’t understand how she realized what to do. Grabbing the lighter, she very carefully, trying not to melt the wax, heated the halves of the candle and pressed them together. When the woman, exhausted by her experiences, returned to the hospital, she was met at the door of the intensive care unit by the doctor on duty, who, with undisguised surprise, told her that Yuri felt better, his temperature subsided, and, most importantly, he came to his senses.
Now Elena stores her wedding candles in a faience box in a small section that is locked with a key. By protecting them, the woman is sure that she will live happily ever after with her beloved husband.
Marina Chechushkina
Search line: candlesRecords found: 7
Hello. My husband and I got married, but it wasn’t as expected. Firstly, we did not receive communion or confession, and secondly, we were late after the registry office, and our wedding was significantly shortened; the granny who sold candles yelled and scolded us for being late and brought us to tears - but the ceremony was still held. I could describe the situation in detail for a long time - in general, my husband and I expected something completely different from what we received (although I in no way diminish our guilt). Is it possible to get married again in another temple if we really want to?
Alla
Hello, Allah! You cannot get married again. The sacrament was performed, regardless of the setting in which it took place. God's grace pours out on everyone equally, and it depends on us how much we can accommodate. In fact, this an important event like a wedding, it rarely goes without temptation. In your case, this is your lateness, the bad manners of the servant in the temple. And it happens that the priest is an hour late due to traffic jams. Joint confession and communion are a tradition. If you went to church more often, you would do this too. But now there is no need to think that something was done wrong. Take more care that you have a strong Orthodox family, visit church and take communion together. Many spouses do this.
Priest Vladimir Shlykov
Good afternoon What remains from my parents (unfortunately, they are no longer there) are wedding candles, rings and my mother’s wedding dress. Do I need to light these candles or just store them? And is it possible to wash a wedding dress?
Marina
Marina. Wedding candles can be lit or stored – at your discretion. The wedding dress can also be washed.
Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)
Good afternoon Please tell me how to store and how wedding candles can help? Thank you!
Dmitriy
Dmitry, Wedding candles are kept next to icons or in a holy corner. Wedding candles by themselves cannot help. God, the Mother of God and the Saints help us when we turn to Them in prayer, and at the same time our life should be Christian, built according to the Divine commandments. Wedding candles can be lit at home on major church holidays.
Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)
Hello! Please tell me, my husband and I have been married for 10 years and are now expecting a child. We want to get married, can we do it now? If so, how to properly prepare for this sacrament? To our shame, we are not parishioners (baptized), we go to services occasionally. They asked at the church and said to sign up three days before the date, fast for three days the day before, confess and take communion. I thought for this you need to first come to a conversation with the priest? And other questions: what kind of clothing is acceptable, what rings can be purchased for a wedding, how to choose the day according to the calendar on which the wedding takes place (we asked at the reception, they didn’t answer us anything specifically), they wanted October 13, but there is 14 Pokrov, they asked , we were not told whether there would be weddings on this day. So I’m writing here, please excuse me for disturbing you. If you can, please clarify the situation a little for us. Thank you! And another question: can guests at a wedding be unregistered? Thank you all the best!!!
Svetlana
Hello Svetlana! Wedding is a sacrament of the Church in which God gives the future spouses, upon their promise to remain faithful to each other, the grace of pure unanimity for a common Christian life, the birth and raising of children. Through weddings, the Church unites people for their mutual assistance and growth in love for God and each other. So that they learn together to fulfill the commandments of the Gospel and teach this to their children. If spouses approach a wedding with such a goal, then God helps them survive all life’s hardships together and preserve mutual love. Those wishing to get married must be believers, baptized Orthodox Christians. They must deeply understand that the unauthorized dissolution of a marriage approved by God, as well as the violation of the vow of fidelity, is an absolute sin. Weddings are not performed: on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, on the eve of the great twelve and temple holidays, on the eve of and during multi-day fasts, during Christmastide, Cheese and Holy Week, on the holidays of the Exaltation of the Cross and the Beheading of John the Baptist. For the wedding, you must prepare two icons: the Savior and the Mother of God, with which the Church will bless you after the Sacrament, two wedding candles and a long new towel. You can take your wedding rings, but if you wish, buy gold or silver ones, you can buy them in the temple with the words “Save and Preserve.” Clothing should correspond to the solemnity of the event, be strict and not too revealing. A headdress is required for women. Makeup should be modest, without lipstick, as you will be touching sacred objects. Women are not allowed to participate in the Sacrament during critical days. Before the wedding, prepare for confession and communion. You can take communion the day before or on the day of the sacrament, whichever is more convenient for you. But it is still advisable to talk to a priest to find out the nuances. If this cannot be done on a duty day, then you can approach the priest for confession.
Priest Vladimir Shlykov
Good afternoon Please tell me what to do. When I got married, my parents blessed my future husband and I at home with an icon of Kazan Mother of God with a towel. My husband’s parents did not bless him; in their opinion, this is an unnecessary archaism. After some time we got married. We received the towel, the wedding couple, and the candles in the church. Now we have a wedding couple at home (with the image of Jesus Christ and the Kazan Mother of God), and another icon with the image of the Kazan Mother of God, with which my parents blessed us. Would it be correct to place them together (at our house we have one red corner for icons)? And what is the right thing to do in this case?
Evgeniya
Evgenia, it will be very good if all your icons are located together. And don't forget to pray before them.
Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)
Hello, Abbot Nikon (Golovko), Christ is Risen! Please tell me where the wedding icons will be placed in the house? I found information that wedding candles should be carefully preserved throughout your life and lit during prayer in difficult moments of life, is this true? Please explain, what does the service mean and at what moments is it ordered in the Church? About 2 months ago, I said that if the business I started succeeds, I will donate my gold chain to the Church. It worked out, with the help of the Lord, but I don’t know how to do it! Can I just put it in the begging box? Please answer me by email. address, thank you! Thank you for everything! God bless you!
Svetlana
Svetlana, wedding icons should be placed in the red corner, along with all the other icons, maybe even at the head of the corner. As for candles, you were told correctly; they can be lit in prayer during difficult moments in life. Requirements are those services - prayers, memorial services, sacraments of baptism, weddings, confessions and others - that are performed at the request, demand of parishioners. As for your donation, it is best to give it personally to the rector of the temple or the elder.
Hegumen Nikon (Golovko)
Good evening. My husband and I got married. And at the very beginning of the wedding, when the priest led us to the analogue, the candle in my hand went out. I lit it from my husband’s candle and it never went out. I came home, read a lot of unpleasant things and was very upset. A sign of death, and in general, not a very good one. And we are expecting a child and somehow I got very excited. Please tell me how should I feel about this? Thanks in advance for your answer.
Pauline
Hello, Polina! I congratulate you on such a great sacrament. Do not doubt anything and fear only the Lord God. Believing in omens is a sin.
Priest Vladimir Shlykov
The wedding process is a beautiful, memorable event aimed at concluding the union of two lovers before the Lord. It is necessary to consciously approach the decision to get married.
There is no need to pay tribute to fashion; you need to come to this decision on your own without anyone’s pressure. Many people believe that a wedding will help save a marriage for many years, and the family will live prosperously and not know grief.
During the wedding process, special rituals and ceremonies are performed, wedding candles are used, and illuminated rings are placed on the newlyweds’ fingers as a sign of love and fidelity. It’s just that you need to take care of wedding candles for the rest of your life. It is believed that they have supernatural power that will protect the family of all its members from disease and other misfortunes.
Like candles, wedding towels should not be left in the church, they should be kept at home, as a symbol of the one path along which one walks. married couple. The dress the woman wore at the wedding also needs to be stored. It is best to buy a simple dress that is your own, rather than renting it. The clothes we wear are charged with our energy. That's White dress the bride absorbs the energy of the wedding, and then the woman begins to transfer her happiness from hand to hand to each owner of her dress. There is a mixing of energies.
Wedding suits, dresses, icons, candles, rings - all these attributes are carriers powerful energy. It is their help that one should resort to in case of misfortune in the family. If your spouse or children are sick, you need to put on a suit, pray to the wedding icons, light the wedding candles. What to do with them then? After asking for help, they need to be extinguished and put in a safe place. It is believed that in this way a person has the power to change the line of his destiny in the right direction or return to the path of well-being and health. All these wedding things should be carefully stored and no one should be allowed near them; they will come in handy in many difficult life situations.
It is not uncommon for magicians and sorcerers to ask people who have turned to them for help to bring wedding items to a magical session. The bride and groom should not have their outfits tried on by another person. This also applies to wedding rings, which are considered a symbol of marriage consolidation and its well-being. The golden rings of the spouses are talismans, guardians against the evil eye and damage. Therefore, they must be worn without taking them off. Wedding rings cannot be inherited, because this is how a person passes on his destiny.
During the wedding ceremony, candles are lit one after the other above the heads of the newlyweds. Thus, the chakras of the spouses merge together. The candles are then lowered to connect all the other chakras together.
You need to keep the candles until death and then put them in the coffin of the spouse who died last. It is believed that the birth of the first child will be more successful if the wedding candles are lit. It is best to light them in front of icons that also participated in the ritual. And just look at the burning candles and remember the moments when the union of two loving hearts sealed in heaven, very reverently.
There are even wedding love spells using candles. I need to buy two wedding candles on Friday morning. In your head, imagine the image of your chosen one or chosen one. Then tie the candles with red thread and set them on fire. The flame must be one. This should be monitored carefully.
Wedding candles are a talisman for the entire marriage married life. If there has been some kind of discord, conflict, or the husband has left for another, you need to learn how to burn church candles Houses. The flame of fire will make the spouses remember everything happy moments their life together, to feel again that great love for each other.
During the wedding, you can watch the burning of candles. If the flame is calm, then life will be smooth. If you hear a crash, it means trouble cannot be avoided. The candles go out - the imminent breakdown of the marriage or the death of one of the spouses.
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