Family constellations according to Bert Hellinger - when it works. Family constellations and laws of the tribal system

I want to tell you a very quick way to get rid of:

• many diseases, including incurable ones such as cancer;
• money problems/business/career problems;
• improve your personal life/get married/have children;
• establish relationships with people/relatives/friends/enemies/neighbors, etc.

Recently I was asked to participate in an event, namely, a Hellinger constellation. Before that, I had no idea about its existence. And what I participated in impressed me so much that now I want everyone to know about this method of getting rid of numerous problems.

For reference:

Systemic constellations according to Hellinger are a phenomenological method of systemic (family) therapy. The author of the method is the German philosopher, theologian, and psychotherapist Bert Hellinger. This method is designed to work with systemic family trauma. The purpose of the method is to correct the consequences of these dynamics. People (“deputies”) are placed in the working field of the group. The placed figures (substitutes) represent what is happening in the family system, based on information from the working field.

Based on his many work with people, Bert Hellinger found that family trauma is the cause of almost any problem: health, work, family relationships, accidents, and so on. The most important root of all problems, as Bert Hellinger explains, is the exclusion (the desire to forget) of the participants in family trauma from the family system (both victims and perpetrators). It is exclusion that causes problems for subsequent generations. As a result of working with this method, hidden system dynamics are discovered, and a solution is offered to the client.

This method of work is a short-term one-time method, which distinguishes it from existing long-term ways of working with psychotherapists with patients.

In his works, Bert Hellinger classifies this method as a spiritual practice.

It’s difficult to explain in words what happened during the arrangement itself—you have to be there, see and feel everything. I can only note that it “works” very well.

The arrangement in which I was invited to participate was staged at the Dar psychological center in Samara. The leader of the arrangement is Tatyana Gennadievna Rokhmestrova.

The person who ordered the arrangement wanted to resolve his relationship with the opposite sex through communication with his family and parents.

There were several people (about 15) in the room where I was invited.

About the arrangement: whoever ordered it had to place deputies in the field. Substitutes had to be chosen from any people present in the room and placed in any place. Do everything intuitively. For example, you need to put someone in place of your dad, mom, grandmother, etc.

Next, the deputy stood in the field and described his state, what he felt in his body, what emotions he felt (if any) for other participants, etc. The presenter smoothly guides all participants and the main “culprit” of the event all the time and helps solve the problem.

What struck me:

1. A single energy field that was created during the arrangement. It was very tangible, alive.
2. Physical condition (pain in certain areas of the body) and emotions that were present while I was a deputy. These were “not my” emotions. And the physical pain went away as soon as the arrangement was over.
3. Many “deputies” voiced very personal information about who they were replacing (what was characteristic of this person, how he treated the other participants in the arrangement, personal habits, etc.). The people who “replaced” dad and mom (who were no longer alive at that point in time), upon entering the field, immediately lay down and crossed their arms over their chests. I mean, let me explain. The person who ordered the arrangement did not tell anyone his story and his problems. At the same time, I know this family very well and, of course, was aware of this fact.

I was very impressed by what was happening and, of course, interviewed the presenter Tatyana Gennadievna. I would like to note that she is one of those few people about whom they say “glows from within.” Such a radiant person. A very friendly and pleasant woman.

Interview with Tatyana Gennadievna Rokhmestrova, psychologist of the highest category, founder of the Samara Psychological Center "Dar"

T: Tatyana Gennadievna, tell us about yourself? What is your occupation?

T.G.: I have been a practicing psychologist for 25 years. I have two higher educations, and the second is psychological. She began her activities in the 90s with professional selection at the Progress plant, then in educational institutions, in the regional center “Family”, and in 2002 my colleagues and I organized the “Dar” center. All the time I practice and look for innovative methods of psychotherapy.

T: What is "Hellinger arrangement"?

T.G.: Since 2002, I have been improving my qualifications at the Moscow Institute of Consulting and System Solutions under the leadership of M.G. Burnyashev, where I also studied constellations. This is one of the officially recognized methods of psychotherapy, which combines several technologies: psychodrama, narrative therapy, gestalt therapy and body therapy. The author of the method is Bert Hellinger, from whom I studied.

T: At his place?

T.G.: Yes. He and his followers. Personally, I attended almost all of his seminars that he conducted in Moscow. This is an elderly man who has been practicing for 50 years. The family constellation method became widely known in 1993 in Germany, and with extraordinary speed it spread throughout the world and won wide recognition. Halls of 500 or more people gather. He works on stage, and the whole audience is involved in such a way that some changes occur for everyone. The method is very strong, very interesting. I am passionate about it and enjoy using it in group and individual work.

T: Have you tried it yourself?

T.G.: Yes. Thanks to him, I solved a lot of my personal problems, which was not achieved by other methods, and the training of specialists to work with constellations takes place primarily through personal experience. It is now considered a short-term therapy. Gives a quick effect. For some, changes already begin “tomorrow”!

T: What problems can it solve?

T.G.: The processes occurring during the constellation allow us to see differently and re-evaluate the family’s past and the impact it has on different areas of a person’s life: partnerships, child-parent relationships, self-realization, business, meeting needs, setting goals and achieving them, identifying with victims , painful separation, illness or symptoms, etc.

T: What are symptom constellations?

T.G.: This is working with a person’s symptom or disease. Typically, a surrogate is selected for the role of the disease and a surrogate for the client. And the client arranges these characters in such a way that it is clear who the symptom replaces or indicates who the client does not want to look at. And when the person excluded from the system takes his systemic place, the symptom begins to subside and the disease goes away.

T: And the person is cured?

T.G.: Often. Constellations according to B. Hellinger have been practiced in our center for more than eight years, every week. It works. People return to the group to solve future problems and provide positive feedback on previous requests. Almost all of them are brought here by word of mouth.

Of course, this method is not a panacea! It doesn't affect everyone much. But thanks to the arrangement, a connection is often established for a person between his illness and a life theme familiar to him, the grief or pain of a loved one. Therefore, in the future, if the disease appears again, he has a different attitude towards the symptoms, an understanding of what it is connected with, and a choice of options for change.

T.: Are there people for whom constellations are contraindicated or undesirable? Or those who don't need to do this? Is there a category of such people?

T.G.: It's too early for children to do this. Although recently there has been such experience when parents came with teenage children. This is a method of personal growth. If parents begin to solve family problems in an adult way, then it becomes easier for the children, and they begin to grow.

T.: At what age does personal growth begin?

T.G.: It's different for everyone. There are people who do not accept this method, are afraid of it, do not understand.

I like it and it helps me a lot personally (as a specialist). And when I feel the client’s strong rational defense, this method allows me to more gently approach the person’s repressed difficult feelings and help release them and restore connection with the resource part of myself.

The method gives a strong impetus, and changes begin to occur in the person. Because there is an image of a good solution. The image is magic! Because if a person has a goal, then his subconscious works day and night to solve the problem. While there is no goal, while there is no picture, there is nothing to decide (the arrangement creates a three-dimensional, sensual picture). And then he saw the problem from the outside and the way to solve it.

T.: Does it matter who leads the arrangement and the people who are present there?

T.G.: People in our groups are always different. There are people who have participated in constellations many times - they have some experience and trust in themselves. They already know the rules. There are also newcomers who also get into the lineup. And only because they participate in it, they develop confidence in the method. You can’t imagine this when you start to feel everything that’s happening there... it’s impossible to imagine “heaviness in your arms,” “ache” in your leg, and so on. And when they get involved, they learn very quickly. And the most important thing is that they begin to trust themselves! And this is already an element of psychotherapy. Because all our troubles come from our minds, when we exclude our own sensations and feelings, when we don’t trust our “inner child.” It always becomes easier and better for us when we meet our primary feelings, which we once abandoned and were unable to express.

T.:“Primary” – what are these feelings?

T.G.:“Primary” are, for example, pain, self-pity, helplessness, etc... We always suppress the bad, we are always distracted from it. For example: A child knocked, it hurts, and they say to him: "Oh, look what a dog ran..."

T.: So it’s normal to feel sorry for yourself, to feel sorry for yourself?

T.G.: To experience yes, but at the same time to understand what you are experiencing. Understand: "Yes, I feel sorry for myself now", what can I do for myself now? It’s already “adult-like” to understand and control yourself. And when we are constantly distracted from ourselves, we become dependent on another person. And then, not having him nearby, we feel helpless, or when he is nearby, but does not behave the way we need, then we are offended. Without realizing our feelings, we transfer them to the person with whom we are in connection. When a person dies, we say: "How sorry for him", but actually feel sorry for yourself. How will I live without him?

T.: Is it true that even by participating in the constellation as a “substitute”, a person is already solving his problems?

T.G.: Yes it is. Because “substitutes” are always chosen according to the principle of resonance. That is, if I have it in me, they will definitely choose me. And when in this arrangement I help another person solve his problems, I help myself. Then, when I find myself in the same situation in my family, I will already have experience in solving this problem. That’s why we recommend that those who do the constellations come 3 more times to participate in other people’s constellations. By participating in the constellations of others, a person strengthens his constellation, maintains the balance of “give and take,” and begins to better see his problems in someone else’s system: "Oh, that's what it was! It's about me!" And the process begins faster...

Therefore, a one-time visit to a psychologist is the beginning... It only actualizes the problem.

T.: What do you need to do to create your own arrangement? Is there any principle of action?

T.G.: First, a person must clearly formulate his request: “What do I want as a result?” He must clearly know his goal. And this is necessary in order to then choose the right deputies.

T.: And who is the “deputy”?

T.G.: A “substitute” is any person who replaces something in me: my parents, my fears, my attitudes, my symptoms, etc. Everything that is in the arrangement is all “I”. These are all parts of "Me". And “I” inside myself, with their help, restore order. "I" complete what was not completed (for various reasons). And now it's possible! And now I can look at it and find new meaning and peace of mind.

T.: Are there rules - how many people should participate in the arrangement (minimum/maximum)?

T.G.: Each arrangement requires a different number of participants. For some, 5 people are enough, and for some, 20 or more. It depends on the request and what we are doing. Therefore, the arrangements are different.

T.: Why?

T.G.: We place everyone in a certain way in the arrangement, but as soon as one starts some kind of movement, everything begins to change. And everyone behaves differently.

T.: How long does the arrangement take?

T.G.: On average one hour. In four hours we manage to make three/four arrangements.

T.: Do I need to prepare for the arrangement in advance? And in general, I decided to make an arrangement - what do I need to do for this?

T.G.: Know what is most important for you now. Because if a person does an arrangement for the sake of curiosity, there are no strong feelings and no energy (emotional energy) in it - then the arrangement turns out to be somewhat sluggish and lasts a very long time. Therefore, not all arrangements work out. When the person who orders the arrangement is worried - for me this is a good indicator - he trusts and is open. He sits down in a circle and just looks at this theater. This effect is also called "magic theater". Because the client, when he arrived, had one picture, but when the arrangement is made, the picture changes and something changes in his mind. He begins to see differently and act differently.

T.: If we talk about the soul and subtle structures, when I participated in the arrangement, I had the feeling that it was something like channeling. Because the people in the constellation voiced very truthful things about those they were replacing that they could not know about. I was amazed by this. How can you comment on this?

T.G.: I can assume that when the deputy gets into the formation, he knows nothing about the problem. He does not know what experience to apply, he only feels and enters an altered state of consciousness - trance. He lets go of control and accepts what comes from him (information). He listens to something from within. At this moment he is like a medium. When the customer of the arrangement chooses a deputy, he takes him by the shoulders and at that moment imagines in front of him the person he is placing, finds a special place for him, i.e. enters into the information field of his system, and the deputy begins to experience special sensations. And the deputy begins to show familiar characteristics of the person in whose role he is. Fantastic! But that's probably true! The phenomenological method!

Some people, after participating in a “deputy” arrangement, say: “I would never do such a thing in my life, but here now I did such a thing,” “I have never spoken like that,” “I don’t swear at all.”

T.: Do people in the arrangement swear? What other reactions are there?

T.G.: Different.

T.: What was the most surprising and unusual thing you saw in the arrangement?

T.G.: It happens that they start killing, strangling themselves or attacking someone in the arrangement. Even men lose consciousness.

T.: So it turns out that you don’t need to have some kind of gift to be a medium?

T.G.: Probably all people can do this. Because at this moment our “sensual child” turns on within us. Children, when they come to an unfamiliar place, begin to behave differently, just like animals. Because at this moment they begin to adopt what is happening there. The same principle works in the arrangement - this is the principle of resonance (resonance with nature, with the place you find yourself in, with the soul of the one you are replacing).

T.: Does it matter who leads the lineup?

T.G.: I have great confidence in this method. At first glance, everything seems easy: in fact, to do an arrangement, you need basic knowledge of psychology and systemic psychotherapy. Because if you start the arrangement the way it is going, you can mess up a lot of things, and then who knows what the person who does it will leave with. Therefore, every constellation leader has a systematic structure (systemic therapy) in his head, rules that were strictly taught in our seminars. Therefore, the presenter must have basic education, the ability to consult, and speak. During the arrangement, you have to select special phrases that correct the patient. Each phrase carries an energetic emotional charge. If one phrase doesn’t work, you need to select another one so that the resource movement begins... I often use those suggested by B. Hellinger.

T.: So these phrases cure the patient?

T.G.: They become affirmations for him, i.e. new thoughts for every day. For example, before the constellation, the wife always condemned her husband, and then she says to him (the person who replaces him) - "You are what I need." And in real life they are experiencing good changes.

Therefore, when the arrangement is taking place, I watch and think all the time. The presenter must have a three-dimensional vision of the situation. I don’t ask everyone in the arrangement. Because there are significant elements and not so significant ones. It is important who and where to add to the arrangement. There is a loss of resources in the arrangement, and you need to be able to catch them in time, as there may be the opposite effect.

Experience is important here. I myself, due to inexperience, had this happen when I interrupted the arrangement in the wrong place. A person may experience severe relapses. I'm sorry, but it comes with practice.

T.: Who else is doing this in Samara?

T.G.: Certified psychologists are listed on the official website of the Moscow Institute of Consulting System Solutions (ICSR) and the Moscow Institute of Integrative Family Therapy, and now St. Petersburg is also preparing.

T.: Do I need to consult a psychologist before constellation?

T.G.: If a person already has the intention and trust in this method, then don’t. If complete beginners come with the intention of doing an arrangement, I always slow them down a little and ask them to watch at least one and get acquainted with the method. It was one thing that he heard about it somewhere, and another thing - he saw it with his own eyes. And very often (almost always), when a person looks at the arrangement, his request is reformulated. That is, he comes with one thing, and then realizes that something else is important to him. And this, as a rule, always has more power.

T.: Everyone has problems, and I am no exception. But the problems that I would like to solve, I am not ready to disclose publicly. Because even if you don’t tell the participants in the arrangement your problems, they will see everything anyway. How to deal with this?

T.G.: And that’s why this method exists. A problem always becomes a problem when a person begins to solve it alone. He packs it and hides it. The arrangements highlight what people hide “in the closets”. They show the hardest. And when a person can get hold of a problem and talk about it, it becomes easy for him, and it ceases to be a problem. And if a person has packed his secret, hidden it, it becomes very difficult for him and then leads to illness (mental and physical). This is what therapy exists for, to endure such difficult moments. When they come to me for a consultation and ask that everything be kept confidential “ear to ear” - this is a direct indication to bring him to the arrangement. All the secrets are revealed in the arrangement - and the secrets of birth (when there is one father, but another person is passed off as the father) - this greatly influences the person.

T.: Can this be revealed in the arrangement?

T.G.: Yes, like adoption, imprisonment, murder, suicide. And here you know how they treat suicides - everyone in the family begins to hide this fact and come up with something else.

T.: If we talk about magic, sometimes a person is haunted by failures, the so-called “black streak”, when bad luck everywhere is like a curse. Is it possible to get rid of this by arrangement?

T.G.: It is possible to look into yourself, because this is a method of knowing yourself.

T.: And when there are problems in your personal life, in business, and with health? How then to set the arrangement?

T.G.: Then all the topics need to be discussed and find out what is more critical? Where is there more suffering? This is where we start.

T.: Is man himself the cause of his troubles?

T.G.: A person is certainly responsible for himself, but he is always in some kind of connection, supporting someone or supporting him. Sometimes a person cannot be successful if everyone in the family is poor. The installation works: “I can’t be happy when everyone in my family is unhappy.” This is called loyalty to the system.

T.: Can a problem on one topic be solved in one arrangement, or do several need to be done?

T.G.: Usually one topic is enough, but at the same time, topics are related to each other.

T.: Thank you for your interview. Your wishes to the readers of the portal...

T.G.: Thank you for the interesting conversation, questions and interest in us.

I would be glad if the readers of the portal take the opportunity to apply this wonderful method in the path of self-knowledge to achieve their goals.

Bert Hellinger and his method

German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger born into a Catholic family on December 16, 1925 in Leimen (Baden, Germany). He became widely known thanks to a therapeutic method called systemic-family constellations. Numerous practicing professionals around the world continue to successfully apply and adapt the constellation method to a range of personal, organizational and political situations.

At the age of ten, Bert Hellinger left his home to attend school at a Catholic monastery. Bert was later ordained and sent to South Africa as a missionary, where he lived for 16 years. He was parish priest, teacher, and finally director of a large school for African students, with administrative responsibility for the entire area of ​​the diocese, which had 150 schools. Hellinger became fluent in the Zulu language, took part in their rituals, and began to understand their special way of looking at the world.

In the early 1960s, Bert Hellinger took part in a series of interracial ecumenical teachings in group dynamics conducted by Anglican clergy. The instructors worked with the direction of phenomenology - they dealt with the issue of identifying what is necessary from all the available diversity, without intention, fear and prejudice, relying only on what is clear. Their methods showed that it was possible to reconcile opposites through mutual respect. One day, one of the instructors asked the group: “What is more important to you, your ideals or people? Which of these would you sacrifice for another? For Hellinger this was not just a philosophical mystery - he keenly felt how the Nazi regime sacrificed human beings for the sake of ideals. “In a way, this question changed my life. Since then, the main direction that has shaped my work has been a people orientation,” said Bert Hellinger.

After he left his job as a priest, he met his future first wife, Hertha. They married soon after his return to Germany. Bert Hellinger studied philosophy, theology and pedagogy.

In the early 1970s, Hellinger completed a classical training course in psychoanalysis at the Vienna Association for Psychoanalysis (Wiener Arbeitskreis für Tiefenpsychologie). He completed his training at the Munich Institute for the Training of Psychoanalysts (Münchner Arbeitsgemeinschaft für Psychoanalyse) and was accepted as a practicing member of their professional association.

In 1973 Bert traveled to the United States to continue his studies with Arthur Yanov in California. He studied group dynamics intensively, became a psychoanalyst, and introduced elements of primal therapy, transactional analysis, Ericksonian hypnosis, and NLP into his work.

By the 1980s, Burt had identified patterns that lead to tragic conflicts between family members. Based on his discoveries, he developed effective methods for overcoming family conflicts, which are becoming increasingly popular, going beyond the scope of family counseling.

Bert Hellinger's insightful vision and actions speak directly to the soul, releasing forces of an intensity rarely seen in psychotherapy. His ideas and discoveries about intergenerational interweavings open up a new dimension to therapeutic work with tragic family histories, and his solutions found through the method of “family constellation” are moving, amazingly simple and very effective.

Bert agreed to record and edit a series of recorded seminar material for the German psychiatrist Gunthard Weber. Weber published the book himself in 1993, entitled Zweierlei Gluck ["Two Kinds of Happiness"]. The book was received enthusiastically and quickly became a national bestseller.

Bert Hellinger and his second wife Maria Sophia Hellinger (Erdody) head the Hellinger School. He travels a lot, gives lectures, conducts training courses and seminars in Europe, the USA, Central and South America, Russia, China and Japan.

Bert Hellinger is a special, iconic figure of modern psychotherapy. His discovery of the nature of adopted feelings, the study of the influence on a person of various types of conscience (children's, personal, family, ancestral), the formulation of the basic laws governing human relationships (orders of love), puts him on a par with such outstanding researchers of the human psyche as 3. Freud, K. Jung, F. Perls, Ya. L. Moreno, K. Rogers, S. Grof, etc. The value of his discoveries has yet to be fully appreciated by future generations of psychologists and psychotherapists.

B. Hellinger's systemic therapy is not just another speculative theory, but is the fruit of his many years of practical work with people. Many patterns of human relations were first noticed and tested in practice and only then generalized. His views do not contradict other therapeutic approaches, such as psychoanalysis, Jungian analysis, Gestalt, psychodrama, NLP, etc., but complement and enrich them. Today, with the help of systematic work according to B. Hellinger, it is possible to solve such human problems that ten years ago baffled even the most experienced specialists.

Method of systemic arrangement according to Helinger.

Family constellation becomes Bert Hellinger's main method of work and he develops this method by combining two basic principles:

1) Phenomenological approach- following what appears in the work, without preliminary concepts and further interpretations

2) Systems approach- consideration of the client and his stated topic for work in the context of the client’s relationships with members of his family (system).

The work of Bert Hellinger's method of family constellations consisted in the fact that participants were selected in the group - substitutes for the client's family members and placed in space using very restrained means of expression - only the direction of gaze, without any gestures or posture.

Hellinger discovered that when the facilitator and group work slowly, seriously, and respectfully, surrogate family members feel the same as their real counterparts, despite the fact that they are unfamiliar and no information about them is available.

This phenomenon has been called “vicarious perception”, and the place from which the information comes is called the field (knowing field or morphic field - Rupert Sheldrake’s term). Scientific lack of evidence and insufficient experience in field research is the main criticism of the family (systemic) method. However, in the practice of recent decades, experience has been accumulated that allows constellations to trust the information of the field and follow it in their work.

In the process of gaining experience and observations, Bert Hellinger finds and formulates several laws operating in systems, the violation of which leads to phenomena (“dynamics”) presented by clients as problems. Following the laws, the first experience of which the client receives in the constellation, allows one to restore order in the system and helps to facilitate system dynamics and resolve the problem presented. These laws are called Orders of Love.

Accumulated observations show that the systemic approach and substitutive (field) perception also manifest themselves in non-family systems (organizations, “internal parts of the personality,” abstract concepts such as “war” or “fate”), and not only with direct substitution in group, but also with other methods of work (working in an individual format without a group, working with figures on the table or with large objects on the floor). Increasingly, the family constellation method is being used to make business and organizational decisions ("organizational constellations" or "business constellations").

What problems does the Hellinger arrangement method work with?

First of all, with adopted feelings - repressed, not fully experienced, blocked or prohibited by society feelings that our ancestors experienced.

The adopted feelings are stored in the family system, as in an “information bank,” and can later manifest themselves in their children, grandchildren, and sometimes even great-grandchildren. A person is not aware of the nature of these feelings; he perceives them as his own, since he often simply grows up in their “field” and absorbs them with his mother’s milk. And only when we become adults do we begin to suspect that something is wrong here. Many people are familiar with such feelings; they visit us as if spontaneously and are not related to the events that are currently happening around us. Sometimes the intensity of the feelings we experience is so great that we realize the inadequacy of our reaction, but often, alas, we cannot do anything “with ourselves.” We tell ourselves that this won’t happen again next time, but as soon as we loosen control, it happens again.

It is also difficult for a psychologist or psychotherapist, if he has not undergone systematic training, to understand the nature of the adopted feelings. And if you don’t understand the cause of the problem, you can work with it for years. Many clients, not seeing the result, leave everything as it is, suppressing the feeling, but it will appear again in one of their children. And it will appear again and again until the source and recipient of the adopted feeling is found in the family system.

For example, due to some circumstances, a woman’s husband died early, and she is sad for him, but does not openly show her sadness, because she thinks that this will upset the children. Subsequently, this feeling may be adopted by one of her children or grandchildren. And this woman’s granddaughter, who from time to time experiences “unreasonable” sadness towards her husband, may not even be aware of its true reason.

Another theme that often appears in systemic work is the contradiction between the individual and the family (system). Bert Hellinger calls this working with the boundaries of conscience. It is generally accepted that conscience is an exclusively individual quality. But it is not so. In fact, conscience is formed by the experience of previous generations (family, clan), and is only felt by a person belonging to a family or clan. Conscience reproduces in subsequent generations those rules that previously helped the family survive or achieve something. However, living conditions are changing rapidly, and modern reality requires a revision of the old rules: what helped before is now becoming a hindrance.

For example, the conscience of many Russian families contains a “recipe for survival” in times of repression. We remember from history what fate befell many bright and extraordinary personalities. In those difficult years, in order to survive, a person had to not stand out, to be like everyone else. Then it was justified and entered into the family’s “memory bank” as a rule. And its implementation is monitored by conscience. Nowadays, the same mechanism continues to operate and leads to the fact that a person does not realize himself as an individual. Conscience blindly controls us with the help of feelings of guilt and innocence, and a person from a family that has experienced the fear of reprisals will experience inexplicable discomfort (feel guilty) if he strives to realize himself. And vice versa, he will feel comfortable if he does not strive for anything. Thus, personal aspirations and the conscience of the family come into conflict. And if you do not take into account the family's past, it is difficult to understand why this happens.

Separately, I would like to say that B. Hellinger points out a path to the spiritual that is accessible to many. After all, liberation from adopted feelings is tantamount to the end of the struggle in a person’s soul, and he begins to live his own life, realize his own goals. And accepting a sense of humility and gratitude to parents, one’s family and clan provides a reliable rear and allows us to use the accumulated family resources and energy to realize these goals, which greatly increases our chances of success. This gives us the opportunity to explore new horizons in life, gain new experiences, and discover new opportunities. And in case of failure, a loving family provides us with a “safe haven” where we can heal our wounds and restore strength to once again set sail across the vast expanses of life.

The family constellation method allows you to return to the past and relive the feelings that our ancestors experienced. It makes it possible to take an impartial look at what happened, return our ancestors to their dignity and see a solution to the problems that we are experiencing now. Constellations will help you understand relationships with loved ones, improve them, avoid mistakes and, perhaps, make your life a little happier.

Mikhail Burnyashev, Ph.D., family therapist

Taking a phenomenological approach, Hellinger points out the various aspects of conscience, which acts as an “organ of balance” with the help of which we are able to feel whether we are living in harmony with our system or not.

The key words in Hellinger's family therapy are conscience and order. Conscience protects the rules of living together within the framework of personal relationships. Having a clear conscience means only one thing: I am sure that I still belong to my system. And a "troubled conscience" means the risk that I may no longer be allowed to belong to this system. Conscience reacts not only to the right of membership in the system, but also to the balance between the amount of what the individual has given to other members in his system and what he has received from them.

Each of these functions of conscience is guided and carried out by different feelings of innocence and guilt. Hellinger highlights an important aspect of conscience - conscious and unconscious, unconscious conscience. When we follow the conscious conscience, we violate the rules of the hidden conscience, and despite the fact that according to the conscious conscience we feel ourselves innocent, the hidden conscience punishes such behavior as if we were still guilty.

The conflict between these two types of conscience is the basis of all family tragedies. Such a conflict leads to tragic interweavings that cause serious illnesses, accidents and suicides in families. The same conflict leads to a number of tragedies in relationships between a man and a woman - for example, when relationships between partners are destroyed, despite the strong mutual love that exists between them.

Hellinger came to these conclusions not only through the use of the phenomenological method, but also thanks to the extensive practical experience gained during family constellations.

An amazing fact obtained by participating in the constellation is the fact that the resulting force field or “controlling knowing Soul” finds solutions that significantly exceed those that we could invent ourselves. Their impact is far greater than what we could achieve through planned action.

From the point of view of systemic family therapy, a person’s feelings, thoughts, and actions are determined by the system. Individual events are determined by the system. Our connections are expanding in ever increasing circles. We are born into a small group - our family of origin - and this determines our relationships. Then other systems come and, in the end, the turn of the universal system comes. In each of these systems, orders operate differently. Some of the conditions we have been given for a good relationship between parents and children include the following: affection, balance between give and take, and order.

Attachment is the first basic condition for a relationship to work out. Primary love, the attachment of a child to his parents.

Balance between giving and taking.

Relationships between partners can develop normally, if I give something to you, you return a little more as a sign of gratitude, in turn I also give you a little more, and so the relationship develops cyclically. If I give too much and you can't give me as much, then the relationship falls apart. If I don’t give anything, then they also fall apart. Or, on the contrary, you give me too much, and I cannot return so much to you, then the relationship also falls apart.

When balance is impossible.

This balancing of “giving” and “taking” is possible only between equals. It looks different between parents and children. Children cannot return anything of equal value to their parents. They would love to, but they can’t. Here there is such a gap between “take” and “give”, which cannot be eliminated. Although parents receive something from their children, and teachers from their students, this does not restore balance, but only softens its absence. Children are always in debt to their parents. The solution is for children to pass on what they receive from their parents, and first of all to their children, that is, to the next generation. At the same time, the child takes care of his parents as much as he sees fit.

As an example, we can cite the Georgian parable:

The mother eagle raised three chicks and is now preparing them for flight. She asks the first chick: “Will you take care of me?” “Yes, mom, you took such good care of me that I will take care of you too,” replies the first chick. She lets him go, and he flies into the abyss. It's the same story with the second chick. The third responds: “Mom, you took care of me so well that I will take care of my children.”

Compensation in the negative.

If someone hurts me and I hurt them just as much, then the relationship ends. Biblical "eye for an eye." If I cause him a little less, then this pays tribute not only to justice, but also to love. Gospel: If you are hit on the cheek, offer the other one. Sometimes getting angry is necessary to save a relationship. But here it means to be angry with love, because these relationships are important to a person.

In order for the relationship to continue, there is a rule: in a positive relationship, out of precaution, a little more is returned, in a negative relationship, out of precaution, a little less. If parents do something bad to their children, then the children cannot return or do harm to them as compensation. The child has no right to this, no matter what the parents do. The gap is too big for that.

However, it is possible to solve the problem at a higher level. We can overcome this blind compulsion to balance through the bad with the help of a higher order, namely one of the orders of love. Not just love, but a higher order of love, within the framework of which we recognize both our own fate and the fate of another, loved one, as two different destinies independent of each other and submit to both of them with humility.

In the process of rearranging the family, Hellinger restores the balance, the order that was disrupted in the system. At the same time, he describes the existing procedures:

1. Accessories. Members of the same genus, regardless of whether they are living or already dead, usually include:

The child and his brothers and sisters;

Parents and their brothers and sisters;

Grandmothers and grandfathers;

Sometimes one of the great-grandparents.

In addition, the parental system may have stillborn children, unborn children due to miscarriage or abortion.

Usually the victims belong to the abuser's system and vice versa.

In order for personal relationships to develop successfully, three conditions must be met: affection, balance between “give” and “take” and order.

Everyone belonging to the same clan has an equal right to belong, and no one can or has the right to deny them this. As soon as someone appears in the system who says: “I have more rights to belong to this system than you,” he disrupts order and brings discord into the system. If, for example, someone forgets an early deceased sister or a stillborn child, and someone, as if by itself, takes the place of the former spouse and naively proceeds from the fact that now he has more rights to belong than the one who made room, then he sins against order. Then this often affects itself in such a way that in one or subsequent generations someone, without noticing it, repeats the fate of the person who was deprived of the right to belong.

Thus, belonging is violated if a person is excluded from the system. How can I do that? You can be sent to a mental hospital, write a waiver of parental rights, divorce, abortion, emigration, missing, lost, died and forgotten.

The main fault of any system is that it excludes someone from the system, although he has the right to belong to the system, and all the above-mentioned members of the clan have the right to belong.

2. Law of Integers. Any individual member of the system feels whole and complete if all those who belong to his system, to his family, have a good and honorable place in his soul and heart, if there they retain all their dignity. Everyone should be here. He who cares only about his "I" and his narrow individual happiness feels incomplete.

A classic example relates to my patients from single-parent families. In Russian culture, it is accepted that after a divorce, children most often remain with their mother. At the same time, the father is, as it were, excluded from the system, and often the mother tries to erase him from the child’s consciousness. As a result, when the child grows up, he knows little about his own father, who has lost the right to belong to his system. The situation may also be aggravated by the fact that the stepfather will try to claim the place of the natural father in the child’s soul. Typically, such children are constrained and unsure of themselves, weak-willed, passive, and have difficulties communicating with people. The feeling from such a patient is that he has little energy to achieve something in life, this energy should have come from his own father and his family, but it is blocked.

Hence the task of psychotherapy: to find a person against whom injustice was committed and restore it, return him to the system.

3. Law of priority of earlier. Existence is determined by time. With the help of time it receives rank and structure. Who appeared in the system earlier has an advantage over those who come later. Therefore, parents go before their children, and the first-born comes before the second-born. The first partner has an advantage over the second.

If a subordinate interferes in the area of ​​a superior, for example, a son tries to atone for his father’s guilt or be a better husband for his mother, then he considers himself entitled to do what he has no right to, and this person often unconsciously reacts to such arrogance with a need for collapse or death. Since this comes mainly from love, we do not recognize it as guilt. Such relationships always play some role where there is a bad ending, when someone, for example, goes crazy, commits suicide or becomes a criminal.

Suppose a man and a woman lost their first partners and both had children, and now they get married and the children remain with them in their new marriage. Then the husband's love for his children cannot go through the new wife, and the wife's love for her children cannot go through this husband. In this case, love for your own child from a previous relationship takes precedence over love for your partner. This is a very important principle. You shouldn’t be attached to this as a dogma, but many violations in relationships, when parents live with children from previous marriages, occur because the partner begins to be jealous of the children, and this is unjustified. Priority for children. If this order is recognized, then in most cases everything turns out well.

Right order is almost intangible and cannot be proclaimed. This is something other than a rule of the game that can be changed. The orders are unchanged. For the sake of order, it doesn’t matter how I behave. He always stays in place. I can't break him, I can only break myself. It is established for a long or short period, and to submit to the order is a very humble performance. This is not a limitation. It's like you step into a river and it carries you along. In this case, there is still a certain freedom of action. This is something different than when order is proclaimed.

4. Hierarchy of family systems. For systems, subordination is the opposite of hierarchical order in developed relationships. The new system takes precedence over the old one. When a person starts a family, his new family has priority over the natural families of the spouses. This is what experience shows.

If a husband or wife has a child with another partner while they are married, he or she should leave that marriage and move in with a new partner, no matter how difficult it may be for everyone. But this same event can also be viewed as an expansion of the existing system. Then, although the new system appears last and the partners must remain in it, this system is lower in rank than the old one. Then, for example, the former wife has priority over the new one. However, the new one replaces the old one.

5. Ancestral conscience. Just as personal conscience ensures that the conditions of attachment, balance and order are observed, so there is also a clan or group conscience, that authority that guards the system, is in the service of the clan as a whole, makes sure that the system remains in order or comes into order, and takes revenge for violations of order in the system. It acts completely differently. While individual conscience manifests itself through feelings of comfort and discomfort, pleasure and displeasure, the ancestral conscience is not felt. Therefore, it is not feelings that help to find a solution here, but only recognition through comprehension.

This tribal conscience takes care of those people whom we have excluded from our soul and our consciousness, either because we want to resist their fate, or because other members of the family or clan have done something wrong to them, and the guilt has not been named and certainly not accepted and not redeemed. Or maybe because they had to pay for what we took and received without thanking them for it or giving them credit for it.

6. Love and order. Many problems arise because we believe that we can overcome the order prevailing in families through internal reflection, effort or love - for example, as the Sermon on the Mount instructs. In fact, order is the principle on which everything is built, and does not allow itself to be replaced by love.

Love is part of order. Order was established before love, and love can only develop within the framework of order. Order is the first principle. Every time a person tries to reverse this order and change the order through love, he fails. It's unavoidable. Love fits into a certain order - a place where it can develop, just as a seed falls into the soil - a place where it can germinate and develop.

7. Intimate sphere. The child should not know any intimate details of the parents’ love affair. This is not his business, nor does it concern third parties. If one of the partners tells someone about the details of his intimate life, then this is a violation of trust, leading to bad consequences. First of all, to the destruction of communication. Intimate details belong only to those involved in this relationship. For example, it is unacceptable for a man to tell his second wife intimate details of his relationship with his first wife. Everything that belongs to the intimate relationship between a man and a woman must remain secret. If parents tell their children everything, it will lead to bad consequences for the children. Thus, in the event of a divorce, the child is presented with a fait accompli, and the reasons do not concern him. You cannot force a child to choose which parent to live with. This is too heavy a load for him. It is better when the child stays with the parent who respects the partner more, since he can pass this love on to the child.

If the mother had an abortion, then the children should not know anything about it. This is part of the intimate bond between parents. As for the therapist, he also needs to tell only what would not undermine the partner’s dignity. Otherwise the connection will be destroyed.

8. Balance. The system strives to equalize the balance: children are the first to strive to equalize it. They seek to protect or begin to get sick. Illness often represents an excluded family member.

When the balance is poorly aligned, we understand where love goes: love leaves, and it is directed towards another object.

9. Incest. For example, the wife did not say goodbye to her first partner in the shower, so the husband is lonely. Then the daughter says: I love you so much that I will replace your mother. Incest occurs. If the patient complains about his father or mother, then first you need to restore the figure of the parent in his eyes.

A family member has three opportunities to balance the balance with love:

1. I love you so much that I'm leaving for you.
For example, a client with bronchial asthma said that she was three years old when her father fell ill first with the flu, then with pneumonia, and finally died of pneumonia. After which she also fell ill with the flu and pneumonia and was admitted to intensive care with an attack of bronchial asthma.

2. I love you so much that I'm leaving in your place. I'm better than you.
For example, a daughter cannot accept the idea that her mother will die soon and dies before her mother.

3. I love you so much that I will atone for your guilt.
The ancestral conscience seeks to restore balance by caring for those who have been excluded from the system, those who are misunderstood and forgotten, those who have not been given their due, and those who are dead.

If someone who belongs to the system, or someone who should belong to it, is for some reason excluded from it, if he is denied the right to belong because others despise him or do not want to admit that he gave a place appeared later or that they still owe him something, then the tribal conscience chooses for itself someone innocent from among those born later, who, under its pressure, imitates this person through identification, and imitates conscientiously. He didn't choose it, he doesn't notice it, and he can't resist. He thus reanimates someone else's fate, the fate of someone who was excluded, and once again plays out this fate with all its guilt, innocence and unhappiness, with all the feelings and everything that relates to it.

Another situation that becomes the main cause of violations at the individual level is “interrupted movement towards...”. This is a situation in which a person as a child was stopped in his movement towards some person (most often his mother). This may be due to hospital stays or separation due to other reasons, or to events that were associated with strong feelings of rejection.

And when, as an adult, this person goes to someone, that is, is in a “movement towards ...”, at some point memories of that situation arise in him, even if just as a bodily memory, but he reacts with those feelings and symptoms as in childhood. For example, bronchial asthma is often a manifestation of an interrupted movement towards the mother, and when an asthmatic is in danger of losing a loved one, often a lover, he reacts with a severe attack of bronchial asthma and ends up in intensive care.

It could also be a headache, cramps, or making important decisions to your detriment (for example: “I will never show weakness again,” or “This won’t help anyway”). Instead of continuing to "move toward..." until it leads to the goal, the person steps back and begins to move in a circle until he returns to the same place. This is the secret of neurosis. When such a person becomes emotional, the voice of a child appears in him, and then one can ask how old this voice is. This is usually early, unconscious trauma.

The solution here is for this person to become that child again, and already, being that child, complete the interrupted “movement towards...”. At this moment, the client acquires a decisively new experience, and it is much easier for him to succeed in subsequent “movements towards...”.

These, and many other topics, are best considered and resolved through practical participation in systemic family constellations according to Helinger.

Literature:

B. Hellinger. Orders of Love. Resolution of family-systemic conflicts and contradictions. M., Publishing House of the Institute of Psychotherapy, 2001.

B. Hellinger. Orders of Love. How life and love work together. Institute of Consulting and System Solutions, 2007.

The article was prepared based on materials found in the public domain on the Internet.

System arrangement. How it works

System arrangement. This concept has recently appeared in our vocabulary. In this article I will try to give a general idea of ​​the methodology that many psychologists are now working with. It is called “Systemic and family constellations.”

This is a very strong and very effective help that works with a person’s individual problems.

What problems can constellations solve?

See and find a solution:

Difficulties in relationships with a partner or spouse,

Interpersonal,

Family parenting problems,

Family,

Professional difficulties,

Health problems,

And also psychological.

What is it and how does it work?

There is a so-called informational generic system field, which has its own structure and three basic laws:

Accessories;

Hierarchy (seniority);

Balance: take - give.

When one or more laws are broken, system dynamics are created that are passed down from generation to generation. The phenomenological effect of a violation, even if it happened far away, affects us or our children deeply in the past. The system itself, the information field, is outside of time and space. Any person, being a member of his family and this system, carries these dynamics within himself and may not fully live his life, transferring fragments of these systemic disorders to the present moment, which is reflected in behavior, character, illnesses, feelings.

The constellation technique allows you to change what interferes with a full life, what could not be corrected in other ways, did not work.

What happens during the placement process?

A mediator or leader has the opportunity to enter the generic field, system, find the cause and level the balance using the knowledge known to him. The system comes into balance and the dynamics disappear, which means the very problem with which the person came to the constellation disappears. Do not forget that the request for a solution to the problem must be very specific and the customer says what he wants to get in the end. If there are several problems, each of them needs a separate arrangement.

Sometimes it happens that, playing the role of a deputy in the constellation process, the person replacing someone can discover and work through his problem, which he had not even thought about before or was looking for other solutions. Miracles don't happen. Therefore, you need to understand that changes may take time, sometimes an hour, sometimes a day, sometimes a year. But the process has already started. A properly trained mediator has the ability to enter the ancestral system, find the cause and, using knowledge, level the balance. As soon as the system reaches equilibrium, the dynamics disappear. And this means that the problem with which the person came to the constellation also disappears. It simply ceases to exist. A person's life changes. He becomes himself.

Here are some problems that the constellation method works with:

Diseases (cancer, asthma, hepatitis)

Spinal diseases

Unreasonable fears

Migraine

Problems with excess weight

Infertility

Miscarriages

Addiction

Alcoholism (as a hidden departure from life)

gambling addiction

Stuttering

Poor relationships with children or parents

Suicidal tendencies

Irresistible negative desires or, on the contrary, lethargy

Passivity

Uncertainty or excessive hyperactivity

Impossibility of self-realization

Bad memory

Depression

Aggression

And a number of others.

It is very difficult to describe in a small article what is really happening.

To date, a sea of ​​articles have already been written about constellations. Professional arrangers, presenters or mediators are people who have been trained in this method for two years, and mostly already have a psychological education. Although the absence of one is not a refusal to study. Those people with whom I cross paths quite often on the topic of constellations study at the “French Institute of Family and Systemic Constellations”, directly from the Master - Idris Laor.

In order not to retell the methodology and not to quote articles by masters and teachers, I will give one abstract and one concrete example to make it clear how the arrangements work.

So, an example of what can happen if one of the family members in the family is undeservedly forgotten, erased from memory, for various reasons.

Many people know such examples when a tragedy occurs in a completely prosperous family, and a child who grew up ordinary and calm suddenly either ends up in bad company, or commits a crime, and ultimately ends up living in a prison cell.

What could be happening in terms of arrangements?

Sometimes a person's actions are not his own actions. He begins to live the life of an ancestor with whom his fate is intertwined, and who, perhaps, went exactly this way and was erased from memory. That is, it is an excluded member of the system. The ancestor was engaged in robbery, committed crimes and went to prison. All his relatives turned away from him, considering him bad, and the mother, in order to protect the child from bad influences, said that the father had died or disappeared in an unknown direction. The child was made to understand that he did not have a father. In ordinary life, this happens quite often. Nobody wants to deal with bad people, especially criminals. But at the level of the system, the species, this is a violation of one of the basic laws. In fact, for the system this is a wound and it begins to heal it, usually choosing the youngest member of the family, and through him it corrects the violation.

What's happening?

A person begins to repeat the actions and behavior of his excluded ancestor, commit robbery, hooliganism or something similar, and eventually ends up in prison.

This is an example that challenges the theme of self-attitude. The feeling that was adopted from the ancestor will also influence self-attitude. By the way, if we talk about self-installations in general, we can say that they simply do not exist. These are someone’s examples and someone’s attitudes that a person adopts in the process of life. But that's about something else.

Returning to systemic violations, we can see that the person is not to blame. He is responsible for the actions of another. He took on this responsibility without even knowing about it.

Using the method of constellations, you can go deeper into the problem, to its roots, which sometimes turn out to be at the level of the ninth generation and even deeper. Those violations that arose once do not belong to us, and we cannot understand them. But, being representatives of the family, these problems are passed on to us, as those currently living, and from us they can be passed on to the next generations.

Second example. Real.

A woman came with a problem. Her youngest son, who is 18, has lost interest in life. He is afraid to go outside, he has no desires or goals. A prosperous family, though not so long ago, moved to live in St. Petersburg from another country.

At first, the parents associated their son’s depression with the move. But time passed and nothing changed. And then the mother turned to the arrangers for help. During the arrangement, it turned out that the woman had two abortions before the birth of her second son. Forgotten children, erased from life as unborn, began to influence the life of the youngest family member. Such situations also occur quite often, when the cause of depression and loss of interest in life cannot be explained. Unborn or aborted children can “force” a person to commit suicide; they show a desire to take their place and receive the love of their parents, which they were deprived of.

What is being done in this case?

It is necessary to recognize the fact that these children are also members of the clan and system and accept them in your heart as full members of the family, give them a place, agreeing with their existence. I will not describe how acceptance occurs. This is a kind of ritual that you can see when you come to the constellation. It is impossible to describe feelings and states in any words.

Once upon a time, when I first read and watched a video about Bert Hellinger’s arrangements, I tried to understand how this could even happen, why and what was happening. Outwardly, it looks like a performance, and it is quite difficult to believe that this is reality until you yourself take part in this action. The presence of the field is felt so strongly that, being a substitute, a person actually for some time becomes the one whom he replaces. He experiences exactly those feelings that were experienced by the one whose role he plays in the arrangement.

In the end, I still want to say one thing. "Better to see once than hear a hundred times".

In this case, the saying is very accurate.

here are some more examples.

Life parallels.

Constellations often reveal stunning life parallels.

The client does not want to work, “looks for herself” in esotericism, and categorically denies the church and Christianity.

Her father did not know his own father; he was raised by his stepfather all his life.

His middle name and last name are from his stepfather.

As they say in her family, “grandmother” had a blast, but no one knew from whom...

Grandma all my life holy kept a secret.

The constellation reveals the excluded family member.

His paternal grandfather is a monk whose spiritual aspirations are directed towards Christianity.

He dedicated his life to service, spiritual quests, and prayers.

The client unknowingly repeats his fate.

Her loyalty to the system is manifested in her denial of the church and Christianity; she excluded it from her life, just like her grandfather.

Her loyalty to her excluded grandfather is manifested in spiritual quests, prayers, service, and in repeating his fate.

Bad relationship with mom.

The client has a poor relationship with her mother. Mom constantly reproaches her: “You took everything from me!”

The root cause of this relationship is revealed in the constellation - a woman who died in childbirth.

The client’s mother carries the feelings of this woman who died in childbirth, for whom her daughter is her death, who took everything from her, took her Life.

We remove identification and for the first time the client can approach her mother and hug her with gratitude.

Money or calling.

The client has a very prestigious specialty and an excellent education.

But all her life she has been faced with the choice of either money and an exhausting, boring job, or a penniless job of her vocation that warms her soul. It’s impossible to combine money and calling.

We place the client’s deputy and two figures – Money and Vocation.

The deputy conveys the client’s feelings: “It’s as if these two figures are tearing me into two parts and I don’t know what to do.”

The figures of Money and Vocation turn into the client’s parents, who divorced when the client was very young. The client had virtually no contact with her father, who drank heavily. Mom did not approve of her daughter's communication with her father.

Usually, with a divorce and such dual messages - mom wants one thing, dad wants something completely different - it is very difficult for the child. In life he may obey one of the parents, but in his soul he will be loyal to the other parent, for example, repeating his fate.

And then in life this child, already as an adult, will constantly be faced with the problem of a tough choice, “Either this, or that.” You will see confrontation in all areas of life.

And he will not be able to combine “Both this and that” in life.

Life will constantly present you with the problem of choice.

And the key point here is the choice “between mom and dad” and when the long-awaited union of parents in the heart occurs, the problem of choice disappears.

It becomes possible to accept and both at the same time, and the calling begins to bring great joy and big money.

Enuresis in a child.

Girl, 11 years old. Mom died, dad is in prison, the girl is being raised by her grandparents.

The child has psoriasis and enuresis.

Enuresis is the unshed tears of a child.

We worked individually using arrangement pictures and metaphorical cards with psoriasis symptoms.

Let's start with a drawing. I ask her to draw psoriasis and the one who is hiding behind this symptom, then the one who was hiding behind the symptom - in the second picture, without the image of psoriasis.

The girl drew a picture of a man and got scared of him, started whining and asked him to throw away the picture.

We continued our work using figures and metaphorical cards.

It is interesting that the girl’s enuresis stopped immediately after the arrangement, although we worked on another symptom.

P.S. The psoriasis went away within a few months.

Bert Hellinger suggests the following to stop enuresis in a child:

… “Some parents encounter a problem when their already relatively large child wets himself in his sleep. For these children, you can tell a story with small scenes, such as turning off a water tap or fixing a gutter.

For example. Little Red Riding Hood came to visit her grandmother. She was about to enter the house when she noticed that the gutter was broken and water was dripping onto the porch of the house. Then Little Red Riding Hood said to herself: “First I will fix the gutter.” She went to the barn and got some resin and a ladder. I set up a ladder, climbed up to the roof, and sealed the hole in the gutter to prevent water from dripping onto the porch. Only after this Little Red Riding Hood entered her grandmother’s house.

Or. One morning one of the seven dwarfs comes to Snow White and complains that the roof has been dripping on him all night and he woke up in a completely wet bed. Snow White said: “Now I will do everything.” When all the gnomes had gone to work, she climbed onto the roof and, finding that one tile had simply slid to the side, straightened it. When the dwarf returned from work in the evening, he was so tired that he even forgot to ask Snow White about the roof. The next morning he didn’t even remember about it, because everything was fine.

One father, whose daughter had this problem, told her these stories, and they immediately had an effect. The next morning the bed was dry. But at the same time he learned something else interesting.

Previously, when he told his daughter stories before bed, she listened very carefully and made sure that he did not miss anything or add anything of his own. But the fairy tale about Little Red Riding Hood, told with changes, did not cause the slightest protest in her; she took these changes for granted. This suggests that the child's knowing soul is uniting with the narrator. The soul wants to find a solution, but it should not be voiced verbatim, then the child, with the help of understanding and courage, will be able to do something new.

Of course, the child understood what his father wanted to say, otherwise nothing would have changed. But without naming the problem itself, the father showed respect for the child’s shame. The child felt deep respect for himself, felt how carefully his father treated him, and was able to react accordingly.

The child himself knows that he wets the bed; there is no need to tell him about it. He also knows not to do this. He doesn't need to talk about it. When he is given advice or reminded of his problem, he feels humiliated. If such a child follows the advice, he loses some of his own dignity, while his parents “gain” dignity. The child defends himself without taking advice. It is precisely because I give him advice that he must act differently in order to maintain his self-esteem. Dignity is the main thing for any person, and it is also important for a child. Only if the child feels that the advice was given to him with love will he follow the advice.”

Life success.

The client is a teenager, 16 years old. Considers himself a failure. My parents divorced several years ago.

The client will soon have to enter a very prestigious military school, with huge competition and difficult exams.

We put the client’s deputy, his mother, his father and the figures “Life Success” and “Military School”.

The “Life Success” figure stands facing away from the client.

We work with the acceptance of both parents, the acceptance of the strength of the masculine gender through the father, with the acceptance of Success.

And although Hellinger says that our success has the face of our mother, this arrangement shows the following - the client’s success has the face of his father. His success comes to him through his father, through his male gender.

After the placement, the boy enters the treasured military school the first time and successfully continues his studies there.

Infertility.

The client came before the wedding - she is entering into a second marriage. Request - infertility.

She is divorced from her first husband, the relationship is still incomplete.

She left her husband, although she loved him very much. He explains his departure by saying that it will be better for him.

In the first marriage there was an unborn child (abortion).

In the constellation, it turns out that the client cannot look at her unborn child, and the child’s substitute is transmitting a lot of aggression to the client.

Property.

The client divorces her husband, and somehow it turns out that her property (2 apartments) remains with him. We put her, her husband and property. The figure of the property immediately sits at the feet of her husband's deputy like a child, and the husband supports him. The client's surrogate is unable to look at the child. It turns out that the client and her husband had an unborn child (miscarriage).

We work with the situation and the client, despite the severe pain, accepts her child into her heart and stands next to her husband, supporting the child.

In this case, the property merely indicated the situation with their child and called them to look at him.

Aimlessness of existence and loss of strength.

The client does not have any goals in her life, does not know what she wants in her life, constantly feels a breakdown, does not live - but exists.

The arrangement shows her identification (the strongest connection of her Soul) with her unborn sister - her mother had an abortion.

And the client carries all the feelings and emotions of this unborn child.

After the arrangement, the client felt the Taste of Life for the first time.

I look for you in all men.

The client has a recurring love scenario. All her men begin to perceive her as a sister. And she forgives her men too much. She had many men, but the relationship with them does not suit the client. She is looking for her one and only.

The arrangement shows that in all her men she is looking for her unborn older brother. Her dad had a first love - and in that relationship there was an unborn child (abortion).

The client confirms that since childhood she dreamed of an older brother. And in her relationships with men, she projected onto them the role of her older brother. Therefore, she forgave them a lot - after all, a brother is forever... And she was disappointed in them - not finding the one whom she was looking for in them...

The same thing happens to men who have an unborn sister. They begin to look for it in all women - and do not find it...

Sometimes there are situations when a man begins to look for his unborn brother in other men. He becomes a homosexual - out of great love for his unborn brother - he needs to feel him next to him - in another man...

Another variant of homosexuality is when a person has a strong identification with a person of the opposite sex from his family. The same can be said about lesbian love.

Love triangle.

The client has a difficult relationship with two men at the same time. One is much older than her, the other is her age. Her father and brother died in the accident.

The arrangement shows that the two men next to her replace her dad and brother.

Her soul thus tries to revive the people dear to her.

Asthma.

The client has a young daughter with asthma.

The arrangement shows the daughter’s deep connection with her great-grandfather, who died of pneumonia during the war.

After the arrangement, a significant improvement in the girl’s health occurs.

Panic fear.

The client has a panicky fear that he will be killed.

We begin individual work on the figures and it turns out that in the client’s family there is a Don Cossack who killed a man.

And the client wants to pay with his life for that sin...

The intertwining of destinies comes to the surface, and the source of this fear becomes clear. And the fear goes away.

Money.

The client's request is money. If you want to earn good money, it doesn’t work out, and when you manage to earn money, the money slips through your fingers.

The arrangement shows the main reasons:

Earning a lot is dangerous - they can be dispossessed and exiled. This is the dispossessed family of her great-grandfather.

And the money slips through her fingers - she spends it on her mother’s abortions.

After the arrangement - six months later - the money situation changes dramatically for the better.

I am also at war, like my grandfather.

The client has tense relationships with people, a lot of “life and death” conflicts... He fights with everyone for no reason or no reason. He needs enemies to fight with and to hate. He needs confrontation.

"The man who strives for war does not think about whether his enemy wants to fight. The man who strives for war is blind. He never looks at the enemy, he simply rushes at him. He does not want to look at the enemy. Essentially, "Any enemy he encounters. He does not need to see the enemy, he himself creates the enemy and rushes at him. When a battle rages inside a person, enemies appear from the outside." Osho.

The client's grandfather died in the War. And the grandson has a strong identification with his grandfather.

He, like his grandfather, remained in the War...

Part of the soul of a person who has been in war remains on the battlefield.

Understanding comes and the situation changes - the client understands that he is the grandson of the Warrior, but he does not need to fight in order to prove his love and belonging to his grandfather in this way.

He may remember his grandfather differently.

Be a Winner in life.

I've had Great Lives. Past life experience.

Sometimes the arrangement reveals karmic experience from the client’s past lives.

The client’s life was going through a series of natural disasters: all the equipment in the house broke down, a brick almost fell on her head, a wheel fell off the car, and a few days later the car was stolen... A state of frozen emotions and body. The Snow Queen. And there are no desires at all.

The arrangement reveals an old hermit saint who achieved samadhi in an abandoned cave. The client’s desires stood near this cave - they strived for the spiritual world, but there were no clues in the material world.

We put the figure of the client’s Life - it seems to her unsightly and small compared to those Great Lives. The client says the phrase: “I had great destinies in my Family.”

And all participants in the arrangement come to understand that the phrase should be different: “I had Great Lives.”

At the same time, the family-tribal layer opens and the client’s unborn older sister appears.

At the end of the arrangement, the client, standing in the flow of energy, embraces her Life and Purpose.

For another client, during the constellation, a soul mate appeared in the form of a beloved man and the mutual desire of these souls for each other through many lives. And the following message went: “We are lucky to meet in this life, we do not meet every life, so appreciate me in this life...”

Motherhood and Demeter.

A pregnant client (3 months pregnant) has a threat of miscarriage and is bleeding.

We begin work at the archetypal level. Out of 70 cards, the client randomly takes out one card - and on it is the Greek Goddess Demeter - the Goddess of Motherhood.

The message of the Goddess is: “There is blood on you - look there”...

There is indeed a small drop of blood on the client's white blouse.

The client had an abortion.

We are working with the situation. The next day, the client felt a strong connection with the child, calmness and discharge completely stopped.

Envy and pride.

The client often encounters other people's envy directed at her.

We put her and the figure of envy. Two murders appear in the family.

The client’s family included wealthy industrialists and philanthropists, whose life motto was to give 80% of profits to charity.

Instead of spiritual tithe (10%) - give 80% of profits.

With the best intentions, her philanthropist ancestor wanted to do good so that everyone around him would be rich and happy. May the hand of the giver not fail...

The figure of envy turned into the figure of a murderer and spoke about justice... The ancestor put himself above other people. He was unusually generous. He considered himself extraordinary, exceptional, generous... Spiritual pride led to envy.

And envy led to murder.

As a result, it becomes clear that pride and envy are two sides of the same coin...

Liberation through generations.

The client's request is relationships with men, hidden hatred of men.

She was married three times, now divorced. She has a child from her first husband; she was unable to get pregnant in subsequent marriages, although her health was fine.

We worked individually.

Also, during the constellation, the client remembers two murders in Roda - her uncle killed his mother, and her aunt killed her husband.

We identify the root/primary cause that led to such consequences.

This is a woman who killed her newborn children.

She gave birth and killed. A lot of killed babies...

We bow to the fate of the murdered babies, not understanding how she could do this, after all, she is their mother!

We look at the situation again - we step into her role - and the understanding comes that she could not have acted differently.

She already had children who needed to be fed, but then there were hungry times and it would not have been possible to feed everyone...

And she had to choose... She was ready to kill herself better, to kill her husband, from whom she had to give birth, but then no one would survive... And she killed her babies, asking God for liberation...

And generations later - this liberation came - her descendants heard the cry of her soul...

The client’s uncle fulfills that woman’s wish to die and at the same time, carrying the feelings of the murdered babies, takes revenge on his innocent mother. He carries the feelings of those babies, he sees that woman in his mother. And this identification leads to murder.

And the client’s aunt carries within herself the feelings of that woman for her husband, her hatred for the husband from whom she had to give birth and kill her children. And the aunt kills her husband, seeing him as the husband of that woman, looking at him through her eyes.

And the client brings the aunt’s figurine to that woman and herself says the following phrase: “Now you are free, I freed you.”

This situation provides a very clear example of strong identification and its consequences.

And Hellinger’s words become clear that behind all even unrealistically cruel events there is Love.

"Slave work"

At a client's place of workdifficultieswith immediate superiors.

They loaded her with everything possible and at the same time treated her like a silent slave. And they don't even give you the opportunity to quit...

The arrangement reveals a repressed great-grandfather who was forced to remain silent in order to save the life of his friend-boss, who betrayed him.

The great-grandfather rebelled against the system, which was walking over corpses, breaking the will and lives of people... “The system crushed him” - these are the client’s words about her great-grandfather.

Great-grandfather's life was broken, but his strong inner core was not broken.

But we see that the situation with my great-grandfather is not initial, that these are the consequences of something deeper and more ancient...

Let's go deeper - this is ancient Egypt - the construction of the pyramids.

And some person is crushed by a huge block of stone, due to the fact that the system for lifting stones has broken/failed.

“The system crushed him,” the client’s words emerge. This is where they belong, where they come from...

Slave labor in the name of the Gods.

The pyramid stands for Eternity, but it was built by people who lost their lives on this work.

Very often the phrases in our speech are not random, they remind us of something from the depths of the Soul, from the depths of the Ages...

Each system arrangement according to Bert Hellinger is individual and is made according to the client’s request.

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Relationships in couples.

"...The attraction of the soul sweeps away the dam of false decency..."

On system constellations there is an amazing opportunity:

feel what your partner feels towards you;

understand why your relationship is developing this way;

understand why he/she is like this;

understand why he/she acted this way;

see the hidden reasons behind this or that attitude;

realize your “love script” and, if necessary, change it.

You will see how the law of successful relationships works in a couple - maintaining a balance between “give” and “take”.

Loneliness and other problems between men and women often go back several generations.

For example, the so-called “crown of celibacy” leads to the fact that from generation to generation, mostly girls are born to single mothers, who, out of loyalty, then repeat the fate of their mother, grandmother, and the fate of women of their kind.

Systemic family constellations allow you to break this chain of repeating events and find your own destiny.

Conflicts can arise if a wife lacks a father and she looks for a father in her husband, puts her husband in her father’s place and expects from him what she did not receive in childhood.

Or the husband transfers the role of his mother to his wife.

Usually, a man who has a bad relationship with his mother is in constant search for “his one and only,” changes women like gloves and does not find satisfaction, because no one can replace his only mother.

Very often a person cannot find happiness in his personal life due to identification with the first love of his mother/father.

For example, a mother unconsciously sees her first love in her son and continues to keep her adult son close to her in every possible way - starting to get sick, etc.

Or the daughter, being intertwined with her father’s first love, does not find contact with her mother, sees her as a rival, does not behave like a daughter, and cannot leave the parental family for her own life.

In already established families, a critical moment may come at the birth of a child, when all the wife’s feelings are directed towards the child, and the husband fades into the background.

From the point of view of the family system, priority should be given to the relationship between husband and wife, and the relationship between parents and child is given second place, since a child is the result of love between husband and wife.

Abortion almost always leads to a break in a couple's relationship.

Why does a love triangle arise? What to do?

The arrangement allows you to unravel the tangle of complex relationships.

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Divorce. What to do?

Parting with a loved one brings enormous pain to one partner and enormous guilt to the other.

“My dreams and feelings come to you for the hundredth time along the path of pilgrims...”

The arrangement helps to complete the relationship so that it is truly completed and the person becomes free for something new.

If there are children in the family, they should know that what happens between parents does not concern them, that it happens that a husband and wife separate, but they still have a mom and dad who love them.

It happens that women prevent the child from meeting his father.

And the child loves both parents - after all, he is half from mom and half from dad.

But he is faced with a difficult choice: “if he is loyal to his father, he will be guilty before his mother,” or “if he is loyal to his mother, he will be guilty before his father.”

In appearance, the child is obedient to the parent who wins, but secretly - to the one who loses.

This is his compromise.

So there can be no triumph here, and it is completely pointless to achieve victory in this.

A child is always like the parent who, for example, loses something in his or her destiny when they separate.

If a child does not obey one parent, then in most cases he follows the value ideas of the other parent.

Such disobedience is again just another kind of obedience and loyalty.

If one of the parents directly or indirectly tells the child: “Don’t become like your mother/your father,” then the child will follow the example of that particular parent.

A woman should respect her ex-husband as the father of her children. The child must feel it.

After a divorce, it is better for a woman to keep her ex-husband’s surname until her next marriage, but under no circumstances return her maiden name. A maiden name is a step back. By leaving the surname of our ex-husband, we express respect for what happened between us, that period and feelings of our lives.

Constellations will help you find a way out of the difficult life situation of divorce with the least loss for you and your children.

Perhaps you will learn to measure the events of your life for joy.

Do you know that there is joy in loss? It's called liberation from the past.

Get the opportunity to communicate with people who are attracted by an invisible magnet, promising the miracle of inner discoveries.

"Something new is knocking on my Life,

It's not even knocking yet

and walks around, rustling mysteriously,

beckons and promises something very good.

He'll be in soon."

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Abortion.

Bert Hellinger's constellation method places great emphasis on post-abortion experiences. Indeed, during the constellation, a lot of problems related specifically to a pregnancy that was terminated in the past are often revealed.

These problems may concern the failed mother herself or children conceived after abortions.

A typical problem for a woman after an abortion is an unconscious desire to be reunited with her aborted children (i.e., to her own death), hence severe and life-threatening diseases such as fibroids and uterine cancer, breast cancer, alcoholism, and trauma.

In addition, simultaneously with abortion in its classical sense, “abortion of relationships” between partners often occurs.

No less serious problems are typical for children conceived after abortions.

These children have a weakened connection with their mother and a suppressed feeling of closeness with her.

But the worst thing is the child’s unconscious feeling of guilt towards unborn brothers and sisters (“I live instead of you”).

Such a child cannot find the right place in life, tries to live a life that is not his own, hence often homosexuality, failures in his personal life, drug addiction, alcoholism, life-threatening hobbies, illness, leaving home.

It is especially worth saying that the benefits of constellations on the topic of aborted children are usually so obvious that they impress even experienced psychotherapists.

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Diseases.

Severe illnesses or recurring painful symptoms in a systemic arrangement are often a consequence of the special role of the sick person within his family.

Often a person unconsciously decides to get sick in memory of some deceased family members, thus demonstrating his love for departed ancestors. In this case, the disease acts as a kind of reminder of these relatives.

In other cases, it may be, for example, a repetition of the difficult fate of a deceased relative, an unconscious atonement for someone’s guilt, etc.

In constellations regarding infertility and miscarriage, difficult events that have occurred in the family are usually identified: repeated loss of children by women in the family, the death of a woman in childbirth, or serious illnesses after childbirth.

Infertility and miscarriage are the result of a woman’s fear and unconscious protection from a situation that threatens her life and health.

The liberating effect of the arrangement neutralizes both fear itself and the cause of recurring tragedies in the family.

Also, using the arrangement, you can see the effect of a particular medicine on your body.

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Arrangement for removing a recurring negative scenario.

Death, illness, loss, accidents, conflicts, divorces, the choice of unsuccessful partners can occur according to the same scenario, or with the same time pattern.

For example, once a year or several years, on certain dates, etc.

In systemic constellations in such cases, an event not accepted by members of the clan in the past is revealed, for example, the birth of a child, death, marriage, divorce.

Resolving the problem during the constellation allows you to free yourself from this scenario.

The difficult fates of ancestors are often reflected in the fate of their descendants. Descendants may unconsciously repeat, to one degree or another, the difficult fate of their ancestors or, conversely, live “not their own lives,” experiencing unconscious fear of such a fate.

Family members excluded even in the distant past, silence about ancestors with a difficult fate often serve as the reason that, for the sake of balance, one of the descendants excludes himself from the family and clan (leaves, lives in difficult conditions, is content with little, is deprived of freedom, strives for death ).

The arrangement allows you to interrupt the repetition of a negative scenario.

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Arrangement for removing dependencies.

Alcohol, smoking, drugs.

The arrangement allows you to identify the causes of addictions and free yourself from them.

Alcoholism is bitter, unshed tears.

Often mothers of children whose fathers suffer from alcohol addiction forbid their children to accept their father even in the shower for fear that the child will repeat his fate.

The arrangement will help the child accept his father and his destiny, but at the same time allow the child to be free from loyalty to the father's destiny and not have problems with alcohol.

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Arrangement to relieve fears, panic attacks.

Sometimes we do not realize that many of our actions are dictated by various unconscious fears that we adopted in our parental family.

Your grandmother’s first husband died in the war, and you cannot start a family for fear of losing a loved one. The fear is so strong that it is better not to have a family at all than to experience this feeling of loss again.

Your grandmother turned out to be an adopted daughter in someone else's family and felt lonely and unloved all her life. You are dating a man who you do not need only because of the fear of loneliness.

A person can feel some fears even on a physical level, when “the body shrinks with fear and the soul sinks into the heels.”

The arrangement allows you to see and eliminate the causes of fears.

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Excess weight.

The arrangement helps to identify your individual reasons that affect your weight and stabilize it through acceptance of these reasons.

It is possible that this weight is not at all excessive, it simply reminds its owner of something.

For example, that you have unborn brothers and sisters, that someone in your family died of hunger, or something else.

Sometimes they say about a person “Eats for two.” Think about it, who is this second one? Perhaps it is your unborn brother or sister.

Nowadays, times are different and people do not die of hunger, but the unconscious, inherited fear of starvation forces a person to eat for future use.

In the case of abortion, a woman, with her enlarged body, seems to carry her unborn children to term.

A man's big belly may mean that he does not accept his mother, but his body, his belly takes the shape of his pregnant mother's belly, remembering the time when he accepted her completely while in the womb.

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Harmonious relationships with parents.

For relationships with parents to become harmonious, it is necessary:

observe the “law of hierarchy in the family”, i.e. “Parents are big, I’m small,” “Parents give, and I take;

do not try to correct what was difficult in the family, which can no longer be corrected (the feeling “if I give up something, then perhaps I will be able to correct something);

do not take on someone else’s guilt (for example, a mother has an abortion, and her children bear the guilt)

get out of family entanglements (for example, when a son is intertwined with the fate of his grandfather, he behaves in his parents’ family as the main one, he is out of place and cannot take resources from his parents).

get out of identifications with previous partners of parents;

restore the movement of love for parents interrupted in childhood.

Bowing to parents is very important. It carries respect, humility and acceptance. Bowing balances some things. The bow is done slowly to see what is happening in the soul.

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Basic arrangement “Me and my place in the parental family.”

A person’s place in Life largely depends on what place he occupies in his parental family.

Find your Place in the Sun!

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Arrangement "Area of ​​influence".

The arrangement will show you in whose sphere of parental influence you are, where your energy is directed (perhaps all your energy is spent on reaching one of the parents who is “in service” - busy with something difficult in the system, and perhaps all your forces are aimed at supporting/keeping the parent in life).

This arrangement will help you bow to the fate of your parent, see the difficult (if any) that separates you and go into your own Life.

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Relationships with friends, colleagues, business partners, neighbors.

Colleagues at work, business partners, neighbors or friends are often forced to play for you the role of some members of your family with whom family relationships are disrupted.

Restoring relationships with these family members during the constellation leads to resolution in relationships at work or in business.

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Decent job.

Often it is not possible to find a job that meets all the wishes: the pay was decent, the work itself was pleasant, the team was good, etc.

The arrangement allows you to find the event in the family that hinders professional success and resolve it safely.

Also, if a person does not accept one of the parents, the place of this parent cannot remain empty, the person puts work or religion, or something else in the parent place. But this place has the qualities of a parent rejected by him and the person soon becomes disillusioned - changes jobs, changes religion - becomes a Buddhist, for example. And his whole life is an eternal search - the search for a parent who is not accepted by him.

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Money.

"Do not attribute human vices to money..."

Very often, money for us is colored by the experiences and life experiences of our ancestors.

For example, the message “Money is dangerous” may be passed down from generation to generation on an unconscious level.

Perhaps this is a message from our great-grandfather, who was dispossessed of kulaks, or from a distant ancestor who was killed for money.

And in our time of peace, their descendant refuses money, consciously not understanding why he cannot earn a normal income...

Messages from ancestors that prevent you from having money can be different:

“In order to earn money, you have to work hard and hard,”

"Your work is worthless"

"Dirty money",

"Your time is worthless"

"There is no such thing as easy money"

"A woman can only get money from a man"

“You have to pay for everything,” and so on...

Then it was a different time/another era/other events and their beliefs about money were appropriate.

The arrangement helps you see and establish your personal relationship with money, with respect for the messages of your ancestors.

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Self-realization.

Everything seems to be fine - the business is thriving, I like the work, and the people around me are wonderful, but something is missing.

I want my soul to sing. And I just can’t understand why at times I feel drawn to something...

The arrangement can help you see what goal it makes sense for you to strive for: main and secondary goals, importance, reality or unnecessaryness.

In general, decide whether this goal is yours or whether it was unknowingly borrowed from some member of your family.

And also remove the obstacles that interfere with your movement towards the goal, help you make a choice in favor of a goal.

The goal itself will tell you whether you need to continue moving towards it or not.

The arrangement allows you to identify the aspirations of your soul and work with obstacles that prevent you from doing what you are drawn to.

In the process of constellation for self-realization, the client receives permission from his ancestors for what he wants to do.

In the process of moving towards a goal, we work with an obstacle that prevents movement towards the goal and its achievement.

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Arrangement of creative ideas.

Designed for creative individuals - writers, screenwriters, directors, actors, artists, musicians, scientists.

This arrangement can become a generator of new ideas, characters, and images for you.

It can show the development of a plot or relationship from the point of view of the writer/writer/musician and how the viewer, reader or audience relates to the script/work.

This arrangement is useful when you are in a state of creative “stupor” or when you want to clarify the characters of some characters, or something else.

It also allows you to try out different options for continuing the work. Authors get the opportunity to see the distribution of roles in a new way.

It is possible to consider not roles and characters, but character traits.

Then, for the main characters, a set of several basic character traits is compiled and the interaction of characters with such sets of qualities is considered.

In the same way, scientists can observe the development of events and see the possible result of introducing into a given situation the four elements they consider in turn: one, the other, one and the other, neither the first nor the second. Recommended for video recording.

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"Bliss of the Chakras"

Yoga teaches you not just to control your body, but to manage your life.

Yoga begins with self-love.

Anyone who practices yoga receives as a gift health, vigor and a special state - a peaceful triumph that reigns deep inside and manifests itself in everything - in the gait, in the smile, in the corners of the eyes.

Yoga fills what you already have with energy and meaning.

This unique arrangement is aimed at harmonizing the client’s energy centers and helps to gain a sense of internal integrity.

Chakras represent the keys to our physical and mental health.

The seven chakras serve as the main distributors of subtle energy within the human body.

The colors of the chakras correspond to the colors of the rainbow: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet.

A constant and unchanging balance of the chakras gives excellent health and a sense of overall well-being.

An imbalance of any chakra can have the most profound impact on our physical and emotional well-being.

There are many ways to influence the energy of the chakras: yoga, pranayama (full breathing), the use of crystals and gemstones, the use of the sounds of Tibetan singing bowls.

The “Bliss of the Chakras” arrangement uses the music of Tibetan singing bowls, and the information “read from the lotus petals” is exclusive and gives a new impetus to increased awareness and understanding of the inner world.

Powerful healing powers, spiritual and moral treasures dormant in everyone are awakened and activated.

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Arrangement "Specks of Dreams".

"Wake up and shake off the sandy dust of dreams,

But the rocks of imagination stand unshakable..."

Sometimes the same dream occurs several times, sinks into the soul, disturbs and calls somewhere...

You can look at it in arrangement and understand something for yourself, because dreams are a manifestation of our unconscious.

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Arrangement "Present-past-future".

In this arrangement you will see where you are now. Are you stuck in the past, are you living in the present, are you looking to the future?

You will be able to acknowledge and let go of your past in order to live happily in the present and look to the future with confidence.

People are accustomed to mechanically separating time from themselves, because it is easier and more common for a person to do just that. And the clock, which seems to us almost a source of time, to a large extent contributes to the feeling that it is something extraneous.

In the same way, thoughtlessly (and even frivolously) we divide a single time into the past - present - future, forgetting that time is not a dial with divisions. In fact, it is very important to understand the coherence and inseparability of the present, past and future.

The present is not a moment, not a boundary of separation, but a time where past and future merge. The past is always the grain, source or root for the present. The past lives in the present, determines it, and there is nothing in the present that does not stem from the past.

It is necessary to understand the second, basic meaning of the expression “present time”. The present means true, genuine, genuine, in which you can act, change something, including influencing the future.

Perhaps someone will want to add another figure to their arrangement - Eternity.

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Arrangement "Pieces of my soul".

It just seems like they pay for everything with money.

For everything truly important, they pay with pieces of the soul.

Shamans have a technique for returning lost pieces of the soul.

This can also be done in arrangement and gain integrity.

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Arrangement "Spirit-Soul-Body".

An individual living on Earth is a unity of three components: Body, Soul and Spirit, each of which has its own program.

From birth, the struggle of programs begins, and this struggle is called Life.

Consequently: a person from birth to natural death is provided with all types of internal contradictions.

Through the Body, an individual receives from parents hereditary diseases, ancestral karma, and often ancestral curses and ancestral debts.

Through the Soul - the karma of reincarnation and the testing of negative qualities through trials.

Through the Spirit - striving forward, the evolution of energy, and perhaps a specific mission.

By mission, we understand a special task (assignment) that is included in the individual’s program, and for the fulfillment of which he is embodied on planet Earth, or rather, sent by certain forces of the Cosmos at the exact time allotted for the completion of this task.

The soul has the greatest power because spirit and body merge in it, turning it into the seat of personality and influence of a person.

The will, intellect and emotions of a person are found in it.

Sometimes the soul itself also takes the reins of government into its own hands through a person’s reason, creating a world of concepts that controls a person.

In order for the spirit to control, it must receive the approval of the soul, otherwise the spirit is helpless in controlling the soul and body. The decision depends on the soul, because the person’s personality lives in it.

In fact, the soul is the axis of man's entire being, because his will belongs to it.

Only if the soul wishes to reconcile itself will the spirit be able to control the whole person.

If it rebels against taking such a position, the spirit is powerless to control.

This explains the importance of free will in man.

Man is not an automaton controlled by God according to His will, but rather he has complete independent power to decide and choose for himself.

He has an organ of manifestation of will, and he can decide to follow God's will or resist it.

God's desire is that the spirit, being the noblest part of the human being, should rule over it completely.

However, the will - the decisive part of individuality - belongs to the soul.

And the will determines whether the spirit, the body, or itself will control.

There is a constant connection and interaction between body and spirit.

Everything that happens in a person’s soul during his life is significant and necessary only because the entire life of our body and soul, all thoughts, feelings, volitional acts that originate in sensory perceptions are closely connected with the life of the spirit.

The spirit is imprinted, it is formed, all acts of soul and body are preserved in it.

Under their formative influence, the life of the spirit and its orientation towards good or evil develops.

The life of the body is needed only for the formation of the spirit and ceases when its formation is completed, or its direction is completely determined.

The life of body and soul can be compared to the life of a bunch of grapes, full of beauty and charm.

Its nutrition with the juices of the vine, with the dew of heaven, sprinkling the delicate fluff of juicy berries, ceases, and only the pomace remains, doomed to rot; but the life of the grape bunches continues in the wine obtained from them.

Everything valuable, beautiful and fragrant that was produced in living berries under the beneficial effects of light and solar heat passes into it.

And just as wine does not spoil, but continues to live its own life after the death of the grape, becoming better and more precious the longer it lives, so in the immortal human spirit eternal life and endless development continue after the death of the body and the cessation of the activity of the soul.

The Spirit-Soul-Body alignment has a healing and inspiring effect in all areas of life.

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Arrangement “He, she and soul” their relationship"

The arrangement helps to understand the relationship with your loved one.

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Arrangement according to the Tarot arcana.

Structural arrangement for combining 4 elements in a person:

Strength - wands, fire, strength, energy.

Abundance/fullness - disks, earth, fullness of Life, wealth, abundance.

Mind/clear consciousness - swords, air, thinking.

Intuition - cups, water, feelings, inner child, heart.

This resource arrangement has a healing effect in all areas of a person’s life.

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Arrangement "Yin and Yang".

The life force Qi arises as a result of the transformations of Yin and Yang.

Yin and Yang are the two fundamental forces that create the universe and bring it into harmony through their interaction.

These two opposing, conflicting forces are present in every action.

They symbolize two opposing energies, which, changing and interacting, represent the dynamics of the world.

This symbol suggests that reality consists of the interaction of opposites and opposing principles.

Yin and Yang depend on each other, create constant movement, rising and falling like waves, and maintain mutual harmony.

Just as a man and a woman are partners in dance, in love and in life, Yin and Yang are not only opposites, but also harmoniously complement each other.

Human nature tends to underestimate the power of Yin, that is, the power of non-manifestation, the power of weakness.

Projection, manifestation, expression are associated with the masculine Yang energy.

But Yin is a force as real as Yang!

The arrangement helps you accept your masculine and feminine parts. harmonize relationships with the opposite sex.

A very strong arrangement.

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Arrangement "My favorite fairy tale".

As children, each of us had our own favorite fairy tale.

A child’s heart is touched by a fairy tale, which reflects either his own fate or the fate of another family member/family with whom he is connected.

This arrangement helps to see the deep generic scenario of a person’s Life.

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Arrangement "Body parts".

Structural arrangement for working with symptoms.

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Arrangement "Blooming tree".

Structural arrangement of the 5 primary elements of man:

air

water

Earth

fire

tree

Yin-Yang and the Five Elements are the basis of the Universe.

Arising from the interaction of Yin and Yang, the Five Basic Elements (Wu Xing) - the five basic types of energy - are the basis of the universe.

Any system that exists in the Universe, be it a person, a company, a country or a planet, represents a stage of dynamic interaction, and, ideally, balance between the five primary elements.

To create harmony, it is necessary to maintain a dynamic balance between the five primary elements in everything.

A person, his body, an organization, a country - absolutely everything - is healthy and in harmony with himself and with the Universe if the five primary elements are balanced in them.

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Constellation "Love, sex and spirituality".

What role do Love, Sex and Spirituality play in your Life?

Is it always possible to combine them?

The arrangement will help bring these areas of your Life into harmony.

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Greek Goddesses. Archetypes of femininity.

Greek goddesses are female images that have lived in the human imagination for more than three millennia. They personify women's aspirations and embody behavioral models.

ARTEMIS:goddess of the hunt and the moon, rival and sister.

ATHENA: goddess of wisdom and crafts, strategist and daughter of her father.

HESTIA: goddess of the hearth and temple, wise woman and spinster aunt.

HERA: goddess of marriage, guardian of duty and wife.

DEMETER: goddess of fertility and agriculture, teacher and mother.

PERSEPHONE: girl and ruler of the underworld,

a receptive woman and a mother's daughter. APHRODITE: goddess of love and beauty, creative woman and lover. HECATE: sorceress, matchmaker, mediator.

Greek goddesses are beautiful and strong. They follow exclusively their own impulses, not knowing the dictates of external circumstances.

These goddesses are different from each other. Each of them has its own positive and potentially negative properties. Mythology shows what is important to them, and in a metaphorical form tells us about the capabilities of women similar to them.

I also came to believe that the Greek goddesses of Olympus, each unique and some even hostile to each other, represent a metaphor for a woman's inner diversity and inner conflicts, thereby demonstrating her complexity and versatility.

Every woman potentially contains All goddesses.

When several goddesses fight for dominance over a woman, she must decide for herself which aspects of her essence will be dominant and at what time, otherwise she will swing from one extreme to another.

In Ancient Greece, women knew well that their place in life and occupation were inextricably linked with the power of one or another goddess, which, accordingly, each of them should have revered.

Goddesses live in the inner world of modern women as archetypes and, claiming complete dominance over their subjects, as in Ancient Greece, they take what is due to them.

A woman can remain in the power of a certain archetype for some time or even her entire life, without even knowing which of the goddesses she serves.

Children from birth have characteristics that are inherent to varying degrees in various goddess archetypes - they are energetic or calm, willful or flexible, curious or not very curious, prone to loneliness or sociable.

By the age of two or three, the girl clearly manifests the qualities inherent in one or another goddess. An obedient little girl, content to carry out her mother's wishes, is as different from a baby who is able to leave home on her own to explore her surroundings, as Persephone is from Artemis.

Having plans for the future of their child, parents support some goddesses and suppress others.

If parents want their daughter to be “sweet, gentle and pretty” or “mother’s little helper,” they welcome the qualities of Persephone and Demeter in her.

A girl who knows what she wants and strives to have the same privileges as her brother might be called "willful," although she is merely an assertive Artemis.

When Athena is discovered in her, she may be advised to “behave like other girls.”

Often the behavior pattern manifested in a child does not find approval from the family.

The child’s inherent image of the goddess interacts in one way or another with family expectations.

If parents condemn a certain goddess, this does not mean that her influence on the girl will cease. A girl can learn suppress natural impulses for her, but at the same time she loses self-respect. Suppression of natural inclinations only leads to the fact that the girl begins to feel her own falsehood.

Parents who encourage and support their daughter's natural development give her the opportunity to do what is important to her; As a result, the girl feels good and confident.

Sometimes a particular archetype is awakened by an unexpected meeting or event, and then the goddess personifying it actively intervenes in a woman’s life.

For example, the helplessness of another person can imperiously demand a woman to give up all her affairs and turn her into a caring Demeter.

Money can force a selfless woman who values ​​truly human relationships to become an Athena, busy looking for contracts that provide a decent income.

Falling in love threatens a woman by changing her life priorities. Habitual schemes are not able to maintain their power at the archetypal level for long.

The awakening of Aphrodite may lead to a fall in Athena's influence, and then love overshadows the importance of professional success.

Marital infidelity devalues ​​Hera's marriage bonds.

Activation of the negative aspects of the goddess under the influence of certain circumstances contributes to the development of psychiatric symptoms.

Arrangement "Karmic path"

The karmic path of the individual, the goal of your karmic path, its Gifts and pitfalls.

For this arrangement, your date of birth is required, since the karmic path of a person is determined with the help of astrologersical computing.

Astrological constellations.

We all live in an ocean of planetary cosmic influences. Despite the fact that the planets seem very distant, their energy fields reach the Earth and influence the structures of earthly life, the bodies and souls of people. The radiations of the planets form continuously changing energy structures from which the fabric of life and all creation is woven.

It is believed that 9 planets act on us, 7 of them have physical bodies, and two are shadow ones.

These seven visible planets are a kind of energy centers of the Universe. They are conductors of the law of karma.

Sun.

The active male energy of the Sun - symbolizes the male Divine aspect, personifies the father. Demands respect for the father. If there is no respect for the father, the sunny aspect in life closes (the same applies to the boss, the government).

Moon.

The Moon represents the feminine Divine. The moon personifies feminine maternal energy and is responsible for childhood, childbirth, feelings and emotions. The important thing is to serve your mother.

Mars.

The nature of Mars is masculine, fiery, warlike. Gives self-confidence, willpower and energy to achieve goals.

The Sun and Moon represent the masculine and feminine in terms of fatherhood and motherhood, while Mars and Venus symbolize love partners.

Venus.

Venus is our ability to love, appreciate beauty, and be harmonious. Venus is an indicator of art - music, singing, dancing, painting, poetry. In a man's natal chart, Venus represents his wife or lover. Venus is an indicator of a marriage partner, a sexual partner.

Mercury.

Mercury symbolizes speech, communication, trade, education, intelligence.

Jupiter.

Jupiter is responsible for a person’s character, the firmness of his principles, the level of his morality and ethics. Jupiter is the planet of creativity, energy of expansion. It is the main indicator of children, their number, their health and our relationship with them.

Jupiter is the planet of luck, mercy, optimism and prosperity, money and prosperity. Jupiter is an indicator of good karma and unexpected gifts of fate; it shows the reserve of piety from past lives.

Saturn.

Saturn is called the arbiter of destinies.

If Jupiter symbolizes creativity and expansion, then Saturn symbolizes compression and destruction. Jupiter is the God of joy, an optimist, Saturn is the God of sorrow, a pessimist. Jupiter is a kind teacher, Saturn is stern and sometimes cruel. Saturn rules illness, old age and death - these harsh teachers of human life, before which everything that exists, subject to time, bows. On the other hand, destruction is the eternal companion of creation, and decay and death are necessary conditions for new life and growth.

Rahu.

Rahu is an indicator of karmic tasks. This is the planet of extremes - it acts either through the lower or through the higher aspect.

Ketu.

Ketu is the planet of wisdom, the spiritual world, responsible for enlightenment and liberation. The sign and house where Ketu is located shows the area in which we worked in a past life and where we have deep realizations.

Resource song.

When we sing our favorite song, our deepest feelings are expressed through it, and these feelings do not always coincide with the lyrics of the song...

The “Resource Song” technique allows you to sing your song through these feelings, living them physically - and the feelings go away, letting the person go.

My feminine gender.

Return of the Power of the Feminine.

Return of Femininity.

Acceptance of Women's Happiness.

Arrangement for women who want to feel the flow of the Power of their feminine Kin and receive the Blessing of the women of their Kin for Feminine Happiness.

My male gender.

Arrangement for men who want to accept the Power of their Masculine Gender and feel the strong shoulder of their father, grandfather, great-grandfather, great-great-grandfather and more...

Family constellations according to Bert Hellinger, which appeared more than 30 years ago, are becoming increasingly popular throughout the world. Those who have experienced the effects of constellations are amazed at their effectiveness and healing power. Many call them a miracle that turned their whole life upside down and changed them for the better. They helped the sick gain health, the lonely find love, and businessmen gain more money. Constellations help determine the true causes of any illnesses and problems, establish peace and joy in families, and harmony in life, restore relationships with others, help find happiness and good luck, eliminate negative programs and the negative influence of other people, help get rid of the evil eye and damage, improve your well-being.

The Hellinger arrangement method is very popular in Russia and in Europe in general, and every year more and more people show keen interest in it. This popularity is no coincidence. Constellations allow you to correct the karma of the clan and family, get rid of ancestral curses, help restore connections with ancestors, and contribute to the expansion of consciousness and the growth of spirituality. In practice, this is ritual work with subtle energies using ancient shamanic, Sufi, yogic and Taoist techniques.

Systemic constellations are a powerful, effective method for solving various problems that we constantly face in life. With their help, you can solve problems in marriage and raising children, at work and in relationships with parents, improve health and cure depression. They help you find love and live a more fulfilling and happy life. This method is subject to a huge range of problems due to the fact that all of them are solved not at the individual level, but at the level of the family and clan.

With the help of constellations, you can improve family relationships, avoid divorces, difficulties and betrayals, find a way out of a difficult life situation, understand the causes of illnesses, accept the death of a loved one, say goodbye to them, get rid of phobias, fears, and anxiety. Establish relationships with loved ones, improve connections with relatives, with children, including adopted ones and especially with the so-called “difficult” teenagers. Constellations help with infertility, alcoholism, and drug addiction. They solve financial problems and issues of professional fulfillment, conflicts in business. They help you make the right choice, free yourself from repeating someone else’s fate, understand yourself, get out of a bad streak in life, and change it for the better.

As a result of many years of research, the German psychiatrist and theologian Bert Hellinger discovered that our ancestors pass on their information to us, pass on our destiny by inheritance, and “code” us in a certain way, so their destinies are often played out in our own lives. During birth, we connect to the collective field of the clan, we find ourselves in a predetermined chain of connections and dependencies that has already developed in the clan. Much that has been accumulated by ancestors, parents, grandparents, can be lost in our destiny.

Moreover, with birth we receive both a good and a bad inheritance. On the one hand, ancestors who lived a righteous life are our guardian spirits, who are called upon to protect us from dangers and help us cope with difficulties. But if among our ancestors there are “anxious”, restless and offended, they pass on to us the burden of their problems, which we carry with us throughout our lives.

The fate of those whose family hides some terrible secret or family secret is especially difficult. For example, the grandmother hides how and where the grandfather died, or everyone remains silent about the fact that the uncle is in prison. The more secrets, the greater the negative impact on the family. Any deeply hidden family secret continues to oppress the family through centuries and decades and has a negative impact on the new, newly born generation.

Almost every newborn is born with a certain “program” and a set of expectations that are associated with his birth. It doesn’t matter whether this program is stated explicitly or remains unspoken, will be implied “by default” or kept in strict confidence - clan, family, parents, family context initially determine both the child’s life and death, marriage or celibacy, profession or vocation, his present and future. It is no coincidence that the Romans said: “The dead seize the living.”

We are used to thinking that many of our fears, personal experiences, illnesses and misfortunes are our personal problem, but in fact we are never alone, our entire family, our entire family is always with us - mom and dad, grandparents, distant and close relatives. This is a whole hierarchical ladder of relatives, a large family tree or a huge energy field that affects our individuality.

This field is systemic, that is, consisting of several parts that are in resonance with each other. Its parts are connected and connected to each other.

What happens to one part of the system necessarily affects another part of the system - no matter whether the effect is strong or weak. If a movement occurs in one part of the energy field, after some time changes follow in another. What affects one member of the system affects everyone in one way or another.

The smallest system here may be a subatomic particle of an atom, molecule or crystal, or a cell of tissue, organ or organism. Or it could be an individual, an individual in the field of a family, a field of a clan, or in the field of a community of nations. Thus, we can conclude that every living organism - from a person to a family and even a clan - can be considered as systems that make up an energy-information field.

Although the discovery of the concepts of Field and System was made at the beginning of the 20th century, this theory was not applied to man or species. The situation began to change in 1956, when all living organisms, starting with the organic cell, began to be considered as systems. Then systems theory included the person himself, his family, and subsequently even the economy of the country and the ecology of the planet.

Hellinger combined all the knowledge about gender, systems and genus and found new practical methods for healing people, which are becoming increasingly popular in the world every year. This amazing man, at the age of 10, left his parents' family and went to college at the Catholic order, and in 1952 he was ordained a priest and was sent to Africa to do missionary work among the Zulus. In 1971, he left the Order, resigned as a priest and returned to Germany, where he immediately entered the Munich Psychoanalytic Institute.

Subsequently, he studies and practices contemporary methods of psychotherapy, such as primary therapy by Arthur Yanov, transactional analysis by Eric Berne, non-directive hypnotherapy by Milton Erickson, provocative therapy by Frank Farrelly, Gestalt therapy by Perls, holding therapy by Irena Prekop, as well as NLP by Gundl Kucera and family therapy by Americans Leslie Cadiz and Ruth McLendon. It was the latter who developed the prototypes of the first family constellations, which later became the calling card of Bert Hellinger and are now firmly associated with his name. Hellinger studied all modern methods of psychotherapy, but settled on the method of family constellations because he considered it the most effective.

Family constellations are a process of influencing the energy-informational family field, which contains all the knowledge about the development of this family and its ancestors. As a result of this process, both the physical state of a person and his emotions, character and events, that is, his destiny, change.

If you influence the field, you can influence a person and all members of his family. As a result of the arrangement, the client has a new idea of ​​his family and a new, more harmonious image of family relationships that will “work” independently of himself. Just as the old image of the family influenced and subconsciously influenced the client, the new one will now act in exactly the same way.

Hellinger discovered that family and origin sometimes influence us so much that we cannot live our own lives. Instead of being a free individual within the family, we repeat the fate of our ancestors and are so strongly connected with our parents that we cannot live normally.

It's like a heavy load that presses us to the ground and doesn't allow us to move on in life. But the right relationship with the family gives strength and energy. To free a person from this heavy burden, it is necessary to conduct a family constellation.

Usually constellations take place in a group. In this case, the client chooses from the assembled substitutes for himself and his relatives and places them relative to each other in the order that seems to him closest to the picture of the family that is present in his mind.

As deputies become comfortable with their roles, they begin to move and act in accordance with the power currents that are present in the family energy system. At this time, the specialist leading the constellation has the opportunity to correct what is happening and help the client solve his problem with the help of certain rituals, words and actions. As a result, the closest to the ideal picture of a family or relationship is built on the site.

And if clients prefer individual sessions, then the work takes place in the imagination. Both group and individual constellations are an incredibly emotionally charged process. Therefore, rather than reading about it, it is better to see it once, and even better - to experience the cleansing and healing effects of constellations for yourself.

Read moreabout family constellations according to Bert Hellinger- Online Guiding star, or practical astropsychology

When situations burst into our lives that make us feel pain, anger, resentment, disappointment - what to do about it?

Are these always our feelings and are we always in control of the situation?

Constellations entered my life in 2007 - and in one day they completely changed my mind. I realized that I really do not control anything, moreover, a lot of things in my world are an illusion. But what impressed me even more were the changes that began to occur both in me and in the world around me.

Have you ever gone through forgiveness and letting go trainings - and then realized that nothing has passed - nothing has been forgiven or let go? I remember Marina Targakova spoke about this phenomenon: “I forgave for Luula Viilma, forgave for Louise Hay, forgave for Sviyash...” I know this very well; it almost happened to me. You forgive and forgive, but for some reason it still doesn’t forgive.

Does this always mean that we are doing a poor job and putting in little effort? Or are we just digging the garden with a fork?

For me, the method of systemic family constellations has become a reliable shovel - with the help of which you can weed out weeds and plant rose bushes much faster and better. With his help, I was finally able to weed a couple of long-overgrown beds.

In what situations can arrangements help:

• Establish relationships with parents - or at least take the first step in this direction

• Build relationships with your partner

• Resolve problems in relationships with children

• Understand why love in life does not happen and does not work out

• Forgive and let go of someone who should have been let go long ago

• See your life through a different glass

• Realize where we are really going and why

What does it look like

Family constellations take place in the form of training, during which solutions are found for the problems and situations of the participants.

The work process is very simple:

• You identify the problem

• You tell a little about the family (general information, preferably only to the presenter, so that this information does not interfere with others’ work)

• Then you choose from among the people present deputies for the main members of your family and for yourself (at first you observe from the side)

And this is where the fun begins. People come into contact with an energy field. And they begin to feel the same as the real people they replace. Moreover, they begin to speak the same way and move the same way as your mother or husband.

The questions that the presenter asks the deputies are usually simple:

• Are you comfortable standing?

• What do you see?

• Where are you looking?

• How do you feel about the others?

And the sensations really exist. Watching from the outside, you can even recognize some of the gestures and habits of your loved ones - for example, someone may start snapping their fingers, like your brother, and someone may suddenly show authority, like your father.

At the same time, when you participate in the arrangement, these sensations come on their own. And sometimes it’s even surprising that I sat on the bench with Vasya - I liked Vasya. And then you just want to hit him so much that you can barely restrain yourself!

Or vice versa - Kolya was like Kolya, you didn’t even notice him, but he became “your husband”, and you feel how you are attracted to him - and you can’t stop - stroke his hand.

After identifying emotions, the cause of the problem comes to light - sometimes immediately, sometimes after some time. And you clearly see that, for example, your resentment towards your husband is not really yours. It’s your grandmother who is offended by your grandfather because he had another woman (by the way, if there is something missing in the system, this is also immediately visible - for example, grandfather’s mistresses, and grandfather feels lost and says that he has someone here there should be).

At the final stage, the deputies tell each other the most important things (“I’m sorry,” “I love you,” etc.) and line up in the correct and comfortable order.

When you look from the outside, sometimes it seems that people have learned the script and say what they are asked. But when you participate, you realize that this is not a game. That information comes from somewhere above.

Very often things come up that are known only to the one doing the arrangement. And even more often - those that are unknown to him. And sometimes there is even an opportunity to check.

For example, one of my friends found out in the constellation that he was not his parents’ natural child. At first it was a huge shock for him, but then he found the strength to ask his mother. For the first few minutes she was silent in a state of shock. And then she asked: “How do you know?”

Another girl at the arrangement found out about her grandfather’s mistress. Fortunately, her grandmother was still alive, and she was able to ask her. At first the grandmother kept silent. And a couple of days later she called and said that no one except her and her grandfather should have known about it.

The third man at the arrangement found out that his son was not his. This was a hard blow. His wife refused to comment, but he took a paternity test - and the information was confirmed. He did not abandon the child, but began to find out who the real father was. The biggest shock for him was that his father was his brother.

Therefore, the most important rules for those participating are:

• Being ready to find out the unpleasant truth about your ancestors is a special courage, and sometimes it’s difficult to decide

• Be willing to accept this truth, although usually the first reaction is shock. Moreover, it is much easier to accept something far from oneself (in the third generation) than something that is close. My great-grandfather's mistress is normal. Dad's mistress is difficult.

• Be prepared not to immediately attack your family with questions. First, wait until the emotions subside. Secondly, construct all questions very delicately - not by asserting (now I know everything about you), but by asking (a very good option is “Mom, you know, I had a dream...” - after a couple of weeks, mom usually calls and says, that this dream is true)

• Be ready to help others with their work. You can, of course, just do your job and leave. But remaining as a deputy for the others is a special courage and special generosity. You can help others so much - why not just do it?

• Be prepared to remain silent about other people's work and forget about your own for a while. There is such a thing as confidentiality - and everyone knows about it. But besides this, you cannot throw away the energy gained in your work left and right - and by talking about it, you spend part of your energy on retellings and speculation.

Of course, it is important to say that:

• Arrangements are not a panacea. Not all problems can be solved this way. Most long-standing problems may require more than one job. In addition to constellations, high-quality psychotherapy is necessary.

• Arrangements are an indication of the path. After this, you need to apply the knowledge in life. Start behaving differently. Tell someone something important. Or vice versa - stop wasting time and energy communicating with someone.

• Sometimes the information obtained from constellations is not confirmed. This means that either something was misinterpreted, or the personal motives of the arranger, deputies, and client interfered with the constellation process. There are many options.

• A lot depends on the arranger. What are his intentions, how open and pure his heart is, how much do you trust him and the group.

Laws of the system

First you need to understand who is part of the generic system. It includes:

• Everyone born in this system (including miscarriages, abortions, those who died in infancy, those sent to orphanages, etc.)

• All partners and strong emotional connections

• All those who helped the system survive

• All those who caused any damage to the system

That is (in simple terms) the average woman’s system will include:

• Husband's children from previous marriages

• Previous partners or significant emotional connections

• Previous partners or significant emotional relationships of the husband,

• Siblings, including those who died early and aborted,

• Parents

• Parents' previous partners

• Grandparents

• Great-grandparents

It is also worth highlighting separately in the genus:

• All those who had a special fate (repressed, dead, disabled, murderers, murdered),

• All those who provided a significant benefit to the system or caused significant damage (For example, a woman who took in an orphan after the war and thereby saved him. Or someone who took part in the dispossession of his great-grandfather)

Quite an impressive list, right?

There are four basic laws of genus. Violation of these laws entails various problems in life.

Law 1. Law of belonging.

Everyone who once logged into the system remains in it forever. That is, we cannot eliminate from our clan those whom we consider unnecessary.

This often happens with ex-husbands (especially if there were no children), with aborted children (especially if they were young and secret), with undesirable elements - criminals, alcoholics, etc.
What to do with them all? Draw and accept them into your family tree.

Law 2. Law of substitution.

If we delete someone from the system, then a new member of the system (usually a child) begins to energetically replace him.

Example: A man has a second marriage. The first wife is reliably erased from life (as if she never existed). Maybe the breakup was too painful, or maybe mom just doesn’t want to hear about the other women in dad’s life.

One way or another, she was crossed out. After this, a daughter (or son) is born into the family. And energetically she begins to replace my father’s first wife. This is expressed in two components:

Mom treats her as a rival - without understanding why. He constantly wants to send her to the camp, to her grandmother, or somewhere else, just away from home. However, the daughter doesn’t feel much sympathy for her mother either. On the contrary, he tries to “build” his mother and feels his advantage. Tells mom what to do, when to brush her teeth, etc.

Dad adores his daughter - and it's mutual. He carries her in his arms, fulfills all her whims. In a word, a typical daddy's girl.

But such behavior of a child and parents is not at all the norm, right?

Moreover, the older the girl is, the more problems there are. Often she cannot find a husband for herself (because energetically there is already a husband - and this is dad). She does not have a good relationship with her mother. And so on.
And if you give a place in the system and your heart to the first wife, give her the respect she deserves - no matter what she is in real life, then the child will begin to behave differently.

Law 3. Law of hierarchy.

The one who logged in earlier has an advantage over those who logged in later.

Therefore, the first wife has a systemic advantage over the second. This does not mean that the first one is BETTER, it just did something in the system so that the second one would enter it.

Also, older children have an advantage over younger ones, and parents over children.

But at the same time, the new family has an advantage over the old one. That is, my current family should have a higher priority for me than my parents’ (In fact, this is not always the case. It happens that we already have children, and sometimes even grandchildren, and we all live with the problems of our parents).

That is, it turns out to be a very interesting balance - my husband logged in later than my mother. So my mom has an advantage. And she should receive respect from me and her husband, as the eldest. But at the same time, my current family should have an advantage for me over my parents. And I have to be more involved with my husband and children than with my mother. While maintaining respect for mom as the eldest.

Law 4. Law of love.

The energy of love flows from ancestors to descendants and never vice versa.

This is not about not loving moms and dads, but about giving energy to children. And dedicate your life to children, not to parents. I can think about my mother all day long, have constant arguments with her (even if just in my head), take care of her like a little girl. And then my children will not receive the energy of maternal love from me. Because all the love begins to flow in the wrong direction, and the children have nothing left.

Parents need to be grateful and treat them with respect. But very often we care about them, but inside ourselves we consider them half-crazy or behind the times, right?

How to detect failures and correct the situation

I encourage you not to self-diagnose. You can invent something that doesn't exist. Moreover, no two systems are alike. Even if it seems to you that someone has a system exactly like yours, I can say one hundred percent that this is not so. You may have similar causes, but different consequences, and vice versa - the same consequences, but different causes.

The best place to start is to draw your family tree. Ask mom and dad about your ancestors, look at trends in the family.

Sometimes it is immediately obvious that women on the maternal side, for example, get married at least three times, and men die early.

Usually the most difficult things are not talked about - abortion, murder, mistresses and everything else - so after the constellation, your tree will most likely be replenished with new members.

After you have created a request and drawn a tree, look for a good specialist. Best of all - by recommendation (the method is very fashionable today, and everyone does the arrangements - but not everyone does them well).

• On the man himself. First, meet in person (at constellations you can often come for free as a substitute) and see if he inspires confidence in you? Has he solved his problems (after all, those who need such help usually go to psychologists)? Does he have a family, children, business? Is it pleasant to communicate with him? Trust your intuition. This criterion very often turns out to be the most important.

• For reviews. If possible, it is better to go by recommendation - when you see the fruits of a person’s work. If this is not possible, maybe there are reviews in writing or contact details of other clients.

• Very often, after quality work, something shifts, changes and is resolved.

Again, I’ll give my example - the method is very close to me.

I did more than 20 works in order to solve my problems in the family. In addition to this, my husband has also done several works.

And I was shocked by the results:

• Firstly, we immediately understood why we started a family - our family dynamics simply needed each other - for my dad’s family I was a lost child (no one knew about me except my dad himself), and in my husband’s dad’s family I was forgotten lost child (by the way, also a girl). And this is just one of the factors.

• Secondly, having done several works on the topic of our son’s illness, some dynamics were identified. And after these works there were real improvements in Danil’s condition. For example, Lesha was the first to come to Marianne Franke-Griksch’s seminar. He did work on the topic of Danil’s illness, and that same evening the child’s temperature rose to 40. We brought it down, but it rose again. There were no other symptoms at all. Two days later I came to Marianna’s seminar and did my work on the same topic. And by the time I returned home, the temperature had subsided. Herself.

• Thirdly, we constantly do work on business topics - when there is no understanding why the client does not pay money, or why something in the development of projects does not work out.

• Fourthly, our relationship with my husband has changed beyond recognition - it has become warmer and more trusting, we have stopped fighting and swearing.

• Fifthly, it is the constellations that help me restore my relationship with my mother - which has never been a source of joy for me.

• In addition, although I did not directly work with these issues, my relationships with my mother-in-law, brother and money have improved.

Of course, I will not describe all the problem areas of our genera - this is not ethical in relation to our ancestors.

It seems to me that this method was sent to us so that we could solve our material problems, see the light at the end of the tunnel and become happy in this life. We can fulfill our responsibilities at home and at work. Because freeing ourselves from shackles, we can move forward.