One of a man's gentlemanly duties is to behave politely and reservedly with every person he meets. And, perhaps, men do not cross paths with anyone in the world more often than with women.
What character traits and skills does a truly worthy man have?
#1: It helps you feel beautiful (both inside and out)
For him, you are always beautiful! Both at an elegant party and at home in your favorite pajamas.
#2: You get inspired when you see it.
Because strong people always have an unshakable character, inner core and confidence. Of course it's inspiring.
#3: He almost always supports you.
This doesn't mean he agrees with everything. This is about internal support, you know that he is always on your side.
#4: It’s always evolving.
Because he understands there are no limits.
No. 5: you feel calm and safe next to him
These are vital experiences for a woman. You should be calm with a man.
#6: He does little things
Holds the door open, pulls out a chair, helps with the children. He's never too busy to stop and offer a small gesture of help.
#7: He's honest
Lying, deception or theft is not about him. He is not afraid to be open and sincere.
#8: He never insults you or anyone else.
Physically, mentally and emotionally. A worthy man does not like these groundless conflicts at all.
#9: He constantly expresses his love for you.
In little things or not at all. But you are always his priority.
#10: Your trust is important to him
He understands that trust, like love, cannot be caused artificially. So a worthy man always values your trust and will never betray it.
#11: He always pays attention to your wishes
This does not mean that a man is ready to satisfy every whim. No. He just enjoys making your life happier.
From: powerofpositivity.com
Remember the famous joke: “there are no fish here, says the director of the skating rink”! For some reason, when it comes to relationships, the principle is somehow forgotten. However, it is unlikely good husbands found in nightclubs and bars, it is also unlikely that they grow out of lovers, . They are not among the heavy drinking crowd, etc. Of course, there are exceptions to any rule, and decent men There are also places like this. However, it is unlikely that they are looking for a serious relationship there.
If you are religious, then a good acquaintance would be meeting in a temple. It’s good to meet people at seminars and trainings. And finally, it’s great if the acquaintance occurs on the basis of a common hobby - a dance school, a parachute club, etc. This also includes meeting people at concerts and other events.
Relatives can introduce you – there is nothing reprehensible about that. By the way, in the times of our mothers, many met this way - on the recommendation of a person they trusted.
Office romance should also not be rejected. Common professional interests can tell a lot about a person and greatly facilitate mutual understanding. This does not apply to romances between subordinates and superiors. .
It may or may not be very successful. In any case, you should approach correspondence dating very carefully. Study information about the person, his friends, interests, groups in which he is a member and what he likes. And don’t be too deluded by emotional communication; it’s better to go to a real meeting as quickly as possible and communicate in person.
You shouldn’t think that a man himself must find, become interested in you and be active. This is an outdated stereotype. Although at all times the fastest and most successful got married those ladies who have perfectly mastered the art of flirting. And you should also learn to flirt, give signs to men, let them know that you are interested in meeting them. Not to be confused with obsession!!!
ERROR:Excessive fixation on finding a husband and a serious relationship can become a real obstacle to happiness. If the smiling guy introduces himself as the father of your five children together, you have a problem! Firstly, such a “husband hunter” seems to have a sign on her forehead, and even if she doesn’t talk about marriage, men feel it and avoid her network. Secondly, being in a similar state that “it’s time”, similar to paranoia, it is impossible to choose a worthy one. It's impossible to choose at all! Rather, it is possible to grab the first one that comes along. And then who should I complain about failure?
Step four
When we choose something important, we tend to consider many options. What’s important, even when choosing a watermelon, we knock on several, checking for ripeness. However, in the situation with choosing a husband, we again behave strangely. Many girls are sure that communicating with several men at the same time is immoral. But the process of choosing a man can be compared to casting! And the more participants, the more likely it is to find a worthy candidate. And we are talking about communication!!! These are going to the movies, concerts, walks, conversations, etc. - this is a completely different level of relationship.
If a woman has time to choose calmly, compare, listen to her own feelings - only then is the right choice likely. And if after three meetings she is already “faithful,” then such behavior is not only stupid, but also fraught with unpleasant consequences, she may begin to directly or indirectly expect or even demand from a man fidelity and serious intentions (immediately, after several meetings) . And a man is unlikely to like it. Even if his intentions are serious, he, just like you, has the right to choose. Dependent women are only attracted to... A free and popular woman will interest a worthy man much faster.
ERROR:Everything is clear here, we have already mentioned that sex is unacceptable during the period of choice. Sexual relationships mean a transition to a qualitatively new relationship. This should be a woman’s conscious choice, and she bears responsibility for it (without any “seduced-dishonored” stuff). You should behave in such a way that both the person you are dating and his competitors cannot doubt your integrity and legibility.
Step five
So, you have made your decision, and you are having an affair. This is a very important stage of a relationship, popularly called the candy-bouquet period. At this stage, you are already starting to build relationships. It is at this time that it is important to talk as much and as frankly as possible, to get to know each other. Do not neglect this period and jump to the next stage. It also makes no sense to delay it. On average, such a romance lasts from six months to 2 years. This time is often enough for feelings to become stronger and confidence to emerge that this is the right choice. If acute discomfort arises at this stage, the chosen one ceases to correspond to the original “portrait” - the romance must be completed beautifully, avoiding mental suffering and love addiction.
Error: It is the candy-bouquet stage that is characterized by the greatest intensity of passions. During this period, quarrels, resentments, and claims may arise. It is important to properly distribute your mental strength - you are not married yet, and, in fact, your relationship is only the first step. Living together at this stage can be a fatal mistake. Keep the beautiful concept of “we’re dating” in your head and maintain a sense of inner comfort, do not let your emotions take over.
It is difficult to find a good man, and even more so, to build a relationship with him. However, they have not yet died out (so they say). We offer you 10 signs of a worthy man that will help you understand what treasure you have found. And if you are so lucky, then try not to spoil anything.
He's your biggest fan
A good man will always be on your side (maybe even sometimes outdo your parents in this). He will not only encourage you to achieve what you want and deserve, but also rejoice at your successes as if they were his own.
He knows how to admit his mistakes
Call it quirk or stubbornness, but no man wants to admit that he was wrong, even if he knows it. But a guy who stands up will put his pride aside and admit his mistakes. Because the relationship between you is more valuable to him than his own ego.
He cares about your friends
A good man understands that your friends are just as important as your family. He will love someone more or less, but he will always make sure that they feel comfortable in his company.
He treats others with respect
If he shows respect, it means his parents raised him well. A decent man treats others with respect and kindness, even if he privately dislikes certain people.
He's trying to please your family
A decent man puts a lot of effort into impressing your family. Because he cares what your closest people think about him.
He considers you his equal
Of course, you don’t have to talk about it, but not a single good man considers himself better than his partner. He perceives you as his equal. This means that he takes on some of the housework, enjoys your career successes, and takes your dreams seriously.
He does things you like - even if he hates them
A good man is willing to step out of his comfort zone to make his partner happy.
He is not jealous, but caring
A little jealousy won't hurt (it shows he really loves you, after all), but too much of it is a bad sign. A decent man will never be aggressive out of jealousy or forbid you to go out alone with friends or family.
A decent guy is caring, not controlling.
He will be on your side even when you are wrong
For example, you quarreled with a colleague and said too much in anger. He will understand and support you, even if deep down he thinks that you are wrong.
He wants you to succeed
If he wants you to succeed, he not only wants the best for you, he also thinks about your future together. He is not afraid of your success because he loves you and is confident in himself.
And now the next step is choice. This step is important, because having made the wrong choice, we ourselves will later have to sort it out.
Step 3. Choose a worthy man or The main mistakes women make when choosing a life partner.
Error 1: Obsessive Search
When we are fixated on marriage, we frantically peer into every man. What if it's him? What kind of children would we have? Will his last name suit me? It's like paranoia.
And this really scares men away - they feel it, even if marriage is not talked about out loud. It's like a red light above my head, indicating that it's time for me to go.
Being in such a state, it is impossible to choose a worthy one. It's actually impossible to choose. You can only grab what you can grab. And then be surprised that what I really wanted was different.
Error two: “Search field”
Everyone knows that in order to catch fish, you need to go to the river. And if we need wild berries, then we need to look for them in the forest. We know for sure that apples and pears need to be looked for on trees, and carrots and potatoes – underground. And we certainly don’t climb fir trees and pine trees for pomegranates.
But for some reason, when we are looking for a husband, this principle is forgotten. Many girls I know are looking for a caring, responsible, sensitive man who could become a good husband and father. And that's great! But where are they looking? At discos, bars, parties.
Do such men go there? Maybe yes. I think there are such people. There are only very few of them there. And many still need time to grow up and mature. People go to discos and bars to relax and have fun. You can also have an easy one-night stand there. Will they grow into a family? The probability is minimal.
If we are looking for a man in a bar among alcoholic drinks, is it then any wonder that he will try to wash down any stress?
I remember the time when I really wanted to meet a nice guy. When my friends and I met in nightclubs, bars, dating sites. And they were very surprised that the guys were not in the mood for a serious relationship.
It is important to understand where it is worth getting acquainted and where not. The most ideal option is to meet people in churches and on spiritual holidays. Moreover, it is better than the confession that you adhere to yourself, because religious differences also do not strengthen the family. Such an acquaintance guarantees that the man believes in God. Which definitely makes him a man by 50%.
In many traditions, there are Sunday schools at churches where young people can meet and communicate. Sometimes such schools exist in communities. So people used to make sure that men and women met in the right place.
It is also good to get acquainted with lectures and seminars on self-awareness. The main thing here is to pay attention to the topics of the seminars. In NLP you can meet a manipulator rather than a responsible man. But if a man is interested in some kind of deep knowledge, this is already an indicator that he will grow and change.
You can meet through mutual acquaintances - if your acquaintances are worthy of respect. It’s good if a married friend, whose husband is responsible and courageous, introduces him to a man. This means that the friend sees worthy men and knows how to weed out those unsuitable for starting a family.
You can meet people at work and on social networks - and here it is very important to see how respected he is, what he is interested in, what they say about him. If his entire VKontakte wall is covered with kisses from different girls, then you should think about whether this is necessary. If he is a member of the “Hot Strawberry” and “Let Others Work” groups, you can also think about it.
A worthy man is like a diamond. Sometimes at first glance it seems like an ordinary stone.
Because he is not trying to pretend to be something unimaginable. But if you look closely at it, it will begin to open up - you will see its iridescent edges.
And very often the opposite happens - the man who clearly demonstrates himself and attracts attention turns out to be a dummy. Just glass shimmering in the sun.
I have many examples where a woman married a nondescript man, and after a year next to her he opened up and became so wonderful. And then many bit their elbows for not noticing such a treasure.
My mother-in-law, for example, more than 35 years ago married an ordinary village guy. And many were twirling their fingers at their temples, why did she, such an educated and intelligent girl, need a simple hard worker. But 35 years have passed - and my beloved father-in-law still carries her in his arms. They raised two children and live in perfect harmony. While all her friends have been divorced for a long time.
Error three: “Early fidelity”
There are recommendations from Ruslan Narushevich, who says that you need to choose from several. Only then can it be called a choice. That is, a woman needs to communicate with several men at the same time, without getting hung up on any one.
But it is important to understand that communicating means communicating, and there is no place for the word “sex” here. That is, a woman can and should accept the advances of several men. She can flirt, communicate, go to the movies, libraries, exhibitions with different men. But at the same time, do not have close relationships with anyone!
Of course, she will still give preference to someone initially. If priorities do not change, then the initial choice was correct. But during communication, she may discover something new in herself.
Perhaps Ivan, with his broad shoulders and sports car, will not be as deep as he wants. And Peter, wearing wide-rimmed glasses, will amaze with the similarity of thoughts and views.
After all, we need to learn to see a person’s soul without focusing on the body. When we see only the body of another person, then true love is impossible. A man is not just 80 kg of muscles and eyes. Just like a woman is not a fourth breast size and long legs.
Each of us is a soul, and we need to see the soul of another person. Sometimes an incredibly deep soul can be revealed in an ordinary-looking body. And it also often happens that in a very beautiful body the soul is somehow wrinkled.
There is another subtlety in communicating with several men. When we date only one man, we become very attached to him. We are immediately thinking about weddings and children. We are trying to immediately behave like a wife - to cook, wash, help, have sex, control, take care.
This syndrome is often called “early fidelity.” We haven’t gone to make vows and promises to each other yet, but I’m already behaving like a wife. And I demand from him as from a husband. At the same time, I don’t cheat on him, I don’t communicate with anyone other than him. And try not to take me to the registry office after all this!
It destroys relationships. This destroys a man’s feelings, because it is important for him to be needed and free at the same time. And he wants to decide for himself at what point he is ready to sacrifice a little freedom for the sake of necessity.
Loyalty becomes necessary when there is someone to be loyal to. When we both already decided that we want to be together. When we both made our choice and agreed that we are a couple or a family. And if we met three times, but I don’t want to see anyone else, and I’m knitting winter mittens for him, that’s stupidity.
It is precisely in order not to get hung up that you need to communicate with several men. This gives us the opportunity not to become attached prematurely. At the same time, the man sees that the woman is popular, and he needs to make a decision. There are a lot of people who want it.
Mistake four: “Rather down the aisle”
You can't rush into marriage. I know very happy marriages that were concluded very quickly. But most hasty unions have a different outcome. We are in no hurry. We are not late for the last train. We are looking for a person with whom we will spend our entire lives together.
When we need to choose a university, we think for many years. When choosing a wedding dress, we try on dozens, if not hundreds. Even when choosing apples, we first stand around looking at the different varieties and prices. So why should marriage be a quick process without much thought?
In order to understand how much this person is my person and whether I’m ready to eat a pound of salt with him in my entire life (and maybe more than one), it takes time. As much as needed.
We will continue to look at errors in the next article.
Olga ValyaevaToday the world is full of good girls: they are well-mannered, educated, travel, look great, play sports and know how to earn a piece of bread and butter and a pair of new shoes. But they are often unlucky in their personal lives: such girls have many friends and acquaintances, but return home alone.
Often such girls had relationships, but the guy was not up to par or did not appreciate his companion, so over time the girl became disillusioned with the guys and became more withdrawn, which led to loneliness. But this does not mean that such girls do not need a guy. The question is, where can you find a guy worthy of a good girl? We'll talk about this today.
Definition of a "decent guy"
The bottom line is that the concepts of a “good girl” and a “decent guy” are completely subjective and depend on the girl. Almost every girl considers herself good and wonders why she comes across unsuitable guys: boors, idiots, gigolos, etc. This may be due to several reasons. The first is incorrect requests, the second is self-dislike and complexes, which leads to incorrect behavior.
Incorrect requests. If you formulate your desire incorrectly and set the bar high, you can get a completely unpleasant result. For example, a girl wants a guy who will take her to restaurants, look cool and travel the world with her. But this requires money, and a lot of it. Therefore, many worthy guys are eliminated through the “filter” in her head. On the other hand, a guy who will take you to restaurants, give flowers and travel around the world with his companion will not necessarily love her, care for her and try to build a long-term relationship.
It’s much better to stop for a while and ask yourself the question: “What is most important to me in a guy? What is the most important thing in a relationship? In most cases, the answer will be “love, support, understanding, mutual assistance.” Of course, money and beautiful courtship are important, but there is something that is much more important - real feelings.
Self-dislike. The girl can be amazing. But, if she doesn’t love herself and constantly harasses her, a worthy guy is not on his way with her. You cannot expect the love of another person if you do not love, value and respect yourself. It often happens that a beautiful girl is ashamed of her bright appearance. The second, very pretty, also scolds herself in front of the mirror, torments herself with diets and is dissatisfied with herself and life. At that time, a girl of the most ordinary appearance is more attractive to guys than the first two. Only because she loves and values herself. Confidence is very attractive, it attracts looks and then people.
You're looking in the wrong place
This phrase can be safely applied to this situation. If a girl decided to have fun, went to a nightclub and met a guy there, it is unlikely that their relationship will last longer than one night. But good girls don’t consider this type of relationship. For them, relationships are not entertainment, but something serious. And most of these girls never go to nightclubs.
Often girls are so busy with work, hobbies and friends that they almost never go out. They also don’t make acquaintances on the Internet. So it turns out: the world is full of decent guys, but how can they know about a good girl if she sits at home and doesn’t appear anywhere? The chances of meeting her are less than zero.
Therefore, it is imperative to live an active life. Decide what kind of guy you want to meet. Think about what places he can visit and go there: exhibitions, concerts, presentations, dance clubs, a gym, language courses - there are a lot of options.
On the Internet, it is not necessary to register on a dating site: find forums or groups on social networks that meet your interests and communicate. If you like someone, you can continue the conversation in private, and then meet in real life.
Change your perspective
Often our happiness (in this case, a worthy guy) is very close, but we don’t see it point blank. This is due to our demands and expectations of what this happiness should look like. This also applies to guys. The more educated and self-sufficient a girl is, the more demands she has on a guy. But it’s not a fact that it gives the correct request, as we talked about at the beginning.
If a girl believes that having a car and a separate apartment are mandatory for a guy with whom she will start a relationship, then guys who do not have a car, an apartment, or neither, simply do not pass through the girl’s “filter”. This automatically nullifies most good relationships in their infancy.
We only discern what we are tuned in to. If you put a person in the middle of a room and ask him to look for red things, he will only look for the color red. And if after this you ask him about things that are blue or green, he will be confused and will not be able to name them. These colors were in the room, but the person was only looking for a certain color - red.
It’s the same in relationships. If a girl is looking for a guy, sifting all the candidates through a certain “filter”, but as a result she does not get the result that she wanted to achieve, it’s worth thinking about: is the filter configured correctly? Maybe if you pay more attention to how a guy behaves with girls, what his goals are, whether he has an interest in you, the result will be different?
After you adjust your “filter,” take a close look at your surroundings. Maybe a worthy guy, every girl's dream, is closer than it seems? Maybe you just didn't notice him?
Look at yourself through the eyes of a worthy guy
Decent guys are handsome, well-groomed, wealthy, with an excellent sense of humor, behind them you feel like behind a stone wall... In a word, every girl’s dream. But often girls forget that there are two sides to a relationship, and a guy (especially a “worthy one”) also has a list of requirements for a girl whom he will carry in his arms and love more than life itself.
It’s not for nothing that they say: “Become the kind of person you want to meet.” Otherwise, you may simply not recognize each other.” Think about what you can give in return to the guy of your dreams? Good looks and an interest in the gym are not enough. The world is full of beautiful girls. Just like the smart and educated. And there are even a lot of smart and beautiful people at the same time. And there won’t be enough for all the worthy guys, since there are more women on Earth than men.
If you need a man next to you, learn to be a woman. Don’t try to do everything yourself, much less decide for both of you. If you want a man next to you, stop suppressing him. If, first of all, you need a partner with whom you will go hand in hand through life, learn to be a support and develop as a person. Study, travel, do your projects, and then sooner or later there will be a worthy guy who will love and support you.
But the most important thing is that a guy should be better off in a relationship with a girl than alone. Therefore, you need to learn feminine wisdom and love yourself. A girl who behaves like a child, is constantly capricious, demands attention and cannot occupy her time with some exciting activity on her own, risks “killing” a promising relationship. A decent guy is a self-sufficient person, and he needs a girl with self-esteem. Which, moreover, knows how to create a feeling of inspiration in him.
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