No matter how wonderful marriage is, it’s like going from an 8-hour work day to a full day.
He and she lived happily ever after until they met and got married.
Why is everyone so persistent in trying to get married? After all, marriage has destroyed more women than all the disasters combined.
Marriage can be compared to a mirage in the desert, when it seems to you that a beautiful palace, greenery and a camel loom in the distance. But as soon as you get a little closer to it, first the greenery will disappear, then the palace, but the camel, bitch, will remain!
Best status:
Since childhood, I thought that marriage was awarded to the happiest couples.
I'm looking for a beautiful blonde with a gorgeous appearance, but smart and thoroughbred. I'm not suggesting marriage.
If a woman wants something, then a man must want it too. It turns out that the man wants to get married, perfume and new shoes?!
Marriage is an event between two educated people who persistently try to re-educate each other.
The more beautiful, smarter and more sophisticated a girl is, the less chance she has of finding a good husband.
Only a married woman has a gorgeous future, which is behind her.
Conquer and submit - this is the formula for marriage.
True love is not between bodies, but between souls.
Girls, make sure that you really want to get into the cage when you get married. One day, the registry office employee thought about it and instead of “Dear spouses,” she said “Dear spouses.”
If you are not happy in your marriage, try living as a family)
My marriage is another confirmation that heaven is a complete mess!
By the 20th anniversary of their marriage, the spouses have already come up with about 20 ways to kill each other.
Marriage is characterized by hatred at the same time as love.
With each new marriage, men and women understand each other better and treat the opposite sex with greater understanding.
About marriage: if you turn right, you’ll immediately want to turn left...)))
I can change my VKontakte status... This is one of the few things that changes so easily...
People, when creating a family, do not create a marriage!
years will pass... and he will remember about you... dial your phone number and call... ask how you are?
“Love cannot be used” - everyone makes their own choice where to put a comma...
She loves one. I like the other one. He's sleeping with the third one... he's settled in well, but it won't last long...
When two young people get married, it seems to them that their entire future life is a continuous continuation of the wedding... in fact, it more often resembles the morning after the celebration: the head is cracking, there is a mess around and the crumpled face of the spouse next to it.
If your marriage is bursting at the seams, don’t resist - scraps can also be useful in the household!
A marriage certificate is a driver's license, which is awarded before the test.
Life itself rejects defective marriages.
It often happens that the marriage has already been annulled, but the relationship has not yet.
Tell me how many years you have been married and I will tell you what you do in the evenings.
If you give everyone too much, the bed will break =)
If a man and a woman at a cafe table kiss and hug each other, look tenderly into each other’s eyes, there is a gorgeous bouquet of roses lying next to them, and they have rings on their ring fingers - you can be sure that they are either newlyweds or married lovers.
Most people will never be able to answer the question: why did they get married?
For most men, marriage is a transition from one mommy to another.
If you are happily married, maybe you should stop lying to yourself???))
Due to the current demographic situation in our country, if I were some girls, I would vote for polygamy!
When you want to make another scandal, think about your children - do you want to? So that they would always live in scandals? After all, they will create their seven in the image of yours!
Girls hope that after marriage their lives will change, but this is exactly what men are afraid of
Guest marriage is heaven on earth, but only with sex.
In fact, a strong marriage can only be called one in which spouses and children want to spend holidays together and do so.
Male logic: Are you cold? Snuggle close to me. You feel hot? Take off your clothes...
If you want your husband to spend time with you, then make sure that he does not find such pleasant pleasure and tenderness in any other place
A woman is happy in her marriage when her children, husband, parents, and everyone who lives with her under the same roof are happy. A man is happy in marriage when he himself is happy.
If all marriages were happy, TV series would not exist!
After being married for several years, at the beginning the husband tells his wife how hysterical she is, and the wife tells her husband what an idiot he is. And then they just become hysterical and idiotic, living peacefully together.
People feel such a need for love that some even love their spouses.
Be friends?! God forbid I be friends with you! I want to marry you.
Marriage is a constant war between two completely different galaxies.
Marriage is an opportunity to learn about all the shortcomings of your loved one at once.
A wedding ring on a man's finger means - carefully - married, but for a woman - bolder, I'm still married)))
Second marriage is a victory of hope over common sense
Those women who live alone envy married women. Those women who live in marriage envy single women.
Marriage is a paradoxical type of community, which includes only two people, but which, nevertheless, consists of two slaves, a mistress and a master. © Beers Ambrose
A woman needs marriage so that she has a reason to bake pies and at the same time eat them herself.
Love is blind - but marriage is a good eye doctor
If you advise everyone at a friendly table not to get married, then you are already married.
The key to family happiness: first – marriage, then – love.
Not for all…
Mom said that when I get married, she will put a sign on the door: “No returns or exchanges!”
I should also look at home, maybe I put that sign on the door too))
In the year of the snake, I will urgently rent a place on a warm, cozy chest for a period of one year. I don’t want to get married... Just to warm myself.
Grab the antidote! And you are welcome!
Single life was simpler. I wanted a dress... and another dress. And now - a bread machine, molds and a flour sifter...
Exactly! But the dress too)
Have you noticed that when you are single, everyone around you asks: “Didn’t you get married”? When you don’t have children, everyone is wondering: “So when is the addition?” And when you already have a child, everyone is worried: “When are you going to have a second one?” Don't people have anything else to talk about?!
There is something to talk about, but when you don’t want to, you just have to respect the boundaries of decency and traditional interest. Therefore such questions))
Why do women like to marry military men? Because they already know how to cook, mend, make the bed, have good health and know how to follow orders!
Ideal men!
I really married for love, and then I envied my friends all my life!
It happens, what can you do?!
Cool statuses about marriage
If you are married and you don’t have a mink coat, diamonds, or drive an expensive car... Congratulations! You married for love))
And I'm very happy about it! I feel so comfortable in a mouton fur coat, with a simple gold wedding band, on our “six” with my beloved husband and one-year-old daughter!
Still, there is a marriage that can make a man happy. This is his daughter's marriage...
This is another way to look at it - who will pay for the wedding expenses?
Marriage is a transition from an 8-hour workday to a 24-hour day!
Yeah, but no one pays overtime ((
Many girls marry men who remind them of their father. Is this why their mothers cry at the wedding ceremony?
Exactly! That's why my mom cried))
Many people told me that there was nothing to do if I was married... They lied!!! There's so much to do, so much to do...
Not that word! I always sleep without my hind legs.
The wife says to her husband in anger:
-It would be better if I married the devil!
-What are you talking about, dear! Marriages between blood relatives are prohibited!
This is about my wife))
Two friends:
– Were you married?
- Certainly!
- So how is it???
– Just like in childhood - either don’t stay out late, or don’t meet other people’s men (uncles)!!!
If, like in childhood, everyone would just get married and run away. 
Statuses about marriage with meaning
You have to get married because you’re young, because you’re stupid, because you’re in love, or because you’re pregnant. Because you will grow up, you will become wiser... and you will understand that there are no ideal people, and you don’t need an imperfect one.
As a rule, those who are regularly invited there do not want to get married, and those who have not received such an offer dream of marriage! For me, a stamp in a passport is just a formality.
Marriage has killed more women than famine, war and natural disaster.
That's for sure...it seems to me that women suffer most in marriage due to misunderstandings on the part of men (((
If there is agreement, there will be happiness! From now on, only “We” is not “I”, and there will be a strong family!
Yes, this is how everything always starts beautifully, and then socks around the apartment and “where-are-you-taking-my-beer?!”
Marriage is like a besieged fortress: those inside would like to get out; those outside would like to break into it.
He speaks the truth!
The older and wiser a girl becomes, the more difficult it is for her to get married.
Right! The older a girl is, the more she understands her attractiveness.
Many women who are not married dream of a man surrounding them with care and attention... However, many married women do too...
A girl is a flower that always requires care!
If you cannot answer the question: “Do I want to continue to be with him?”, just ask yourself: “Do I want to marry him?” And everything will be decided right away)))
Exactly, we tried this... it helps.
Beautiful statuses about marriage
You are pain and light, peace and fear,
you are the taste of heaven on my lips,
The melody that I sing
you are life, and I love it!
This is how every husband should think about his wife!
The happiest morning for a girl is her wedding day. When she wakes up, she knows exactly what to wear.
It is a fact!
The next stop is “getting married.” Let's go, girls, let's go!
What is the number of the bus that took you to this stop? I want to ride it too!
Having a man nearby is not a guarantee of absolute happiness for a woman... You can be married and be sad, or you can be happy while remaining a free woman.
That's right, you shouldn't rush to get married. It's better to always feel happy than just have a stamp in your passport.
Marriage is a very serious step! When we quarrel with our parents, we don’t think that we need to look for new ones. So the husband should become a loved one. One for life! The main thing is not to make a mistake in choosing!
I really can’t imagine how you can live with one person your whole life!
No matter how happily a woman is married, she always notices with pleasure that there are men in the world who would like to see her unmarried.
It's always nice when you are positively assessed by the prying eyes of handsome men 
“I want to get married” status, “I want to get married” statuses are cool
- Mom, I want to get married!
- Enough! Been there twice already!
- Well ma...
– No, don’t ask!!!
- Mom, I’m only going there and back!
This is how my mother responds to my younger sister))
Get married! Oh no!!! We were there! The service does not match the price list...
We've been there, we know))
I don't want to get married! For one simple reason - why make a bad husband out of a good lover?
Not calling?
Pharmacies have received a pregnancy test with two strips called “I want to get married!”
Ha, interesting product... I have to buy it
The most important thing in a girl’s life is university (to get married successfully).
It’s not for nothing that parents instill these goals from childhood))
I want to get married)))) Take me!!!
Straightforward...
I want to get married. It’s so great to have someone nearby whom you can torment for the rest of your life.
Men, be careful!
Marriage proposal status
When she was offered marriage, she fell from her chair, jumped up to the ceiling on the bed, ran around the apartment for about 30 minutes with happiness... And then quietly answered “I’ll think about it...”.
Real woman!!!
To get married successfully - sign a governess employment agreement!
Well, that is if you are unlucky with your husband.
When you proposed marriage to you, did you hope in your heart that I would refuse??? Yeah, dream... I agree, honey!!!
That's right, girl, keep it up!
- When will you stop making me comic proposals to marry you?!
- When you become my wife.
So make her a normal proposal, joker!
This caller is asking you to marry him. Answer: “Dear subscriber! There are not enough funds in your account for this operation."
She knows exactly what she wants
Do you want to get married?
- Stop threatening me.
Yeah))) Right to the point about me) 
Statuses “getting married soon”, “getting married”
Get married, or what? Where is this unfortunate guy hiding?
Run, boy!
Are you married?!
- No.
- When are you going?
- When I finish university. And are you married?!
- No.
- When are you going?
- When you graduate from university.
What a man! Waiting means loving!
Wedding.. the coolest holiday in our lives!
It only seems so! When this day comes, you will wish it would end soon!
We are no one to each other, we always quarrel, swear, almost fight... but everyone is sure that the wedding is coming soon!!!
This is about my fiance and I! Everything is exactly like that!
And I realized with horror that I had been pregnant for a month. There was no time to find out who the child was from - I had to get married urgently...
I did the right thing!
I am pregnant! Marriage is soon! Thanks to the grandmothers at the entrance, otherwise I wouldn’t even know...
The grandmothers at the entrance know everything!
Statuses about a happy marriage
I married for love, not out of spite -
Something I didn’t regret even for a day.
As it turned out, I was magically lucky -
The idiots were dealt with before me.
Lucky, yes. I wish I had at least a little luck in this life.
A happy marriage is when you look at a handsome guy passing by and think: “This jacket is cool, I should buy my husband one!”
This is love!
A happy marriage is a marriage in which the husband understands every word that the wife did not say...
Yes! For example, what to think of giving your wife jewelry on New Year’s Day...
And when I get married, will you call me? No, I’ll shout to you from the next room: “My beloved, put our son to bed already.”
If “darling” screams, then you can fulfill the request))
Those who don't work are happily married!
And I would like that...
There is no need to shout about happiness. You can remain silent about him. Together...
After all, happiness lies in doing everything together
And remember, girls, a good frying pan is the basis of your family happiness!
Well, this is for those who have violent husbands
The key to family happiness is kindness, frankness, responsiveness...
If only all spouses understood this
Statuses about marriage are sad
Marriage is a mirage in the desert with palaces, palm trees and a camel. First the palace disappears, then the palm trees, and you are finally left alone with the camel.
Nice line!
When getting married, a woman dreams of having a wall behind her: reliable, strong and indestructible. A wall that you can hide behind at any time and it will always protect you. Unfortunately, behind many people, instead of a wall, there is a hole with rotten swamp water, from which it is so difficult to get out... Few women succeed. It’s even more difficult to find a new wall, not a new hole...
Exactly! Just recently I told my husband about the same thing... in very similar words
If before marriage you were called a princess, and after marriage - a mare, then you married not a prince, but a groom! You have been framed!
Sadly(((
Hobble along slowly, and forget about me. If you want to get married, someone will pick you up.
About my ex...
Today I dreamed that I was getting married... Only not to the one who brings me happiness every day, but to the one whom I have despised all my life... A paradox.
The main thing is that the dream is not prophetic!
Why are women so eager to get married? Because otherwise they don’t know what to do with themselves.
It's sad if this is actually the case.
Not every woman is destined to live like behind a stone wall - so over time she, too, can become stone.
That's it, men!
Girls, don’t get married...there’s a lot of dishes to wash!!!
Who washes and who hits!
Status “I’ll give my friend in marriage”, “my friend got married”
I'll give my friend in marriage! I'm not healthy enough to walk with her so much!
The main thing is to marry her off successfully, otherwise you’ll have to go out even more later.
Dear men!!! Please marry my friend... Because she’s so busy: she goes everywhere, takes walks... and I’m sitting at home...))))
You are evil))
One friend says to another:
- Darling, it’s time for you to get married...
- Yes, I still can’t find the right one, I keep thinking about your husband...
- About my husband...
- Well, yes, I think, God forbid someone like him gets caught!
Then together you will wash the bones for your husbands!
I will give my friend only to those hands that will love her more than I do.
A real girlfriend!
Girlfriend, you're getting married,
A little sad, but not important.
If only you were happy
And it was like a rose bloomed.
So cute…))
Despite the different situations and relationships of spouses in marriage, people forget about humanity and sincerity. To improve your life together and family relationships, you just need to talk. There is no need to hide dissatisfaction or pleasure. Some people don't take hints - they just need to be told.
I'll give my best friend in good hands. Due to my marriage, I cannot provide her with walking.
When a woman supposedly agrees to friendship, this does not mean that she is not making more serious plans for you.
Be friends with you? Just get married!
Are you being ignored? Are you cold? Can't stand it? Don't have a high opinion of men in general? Just ask her in marriage. See how your hand will relieve all syndromes.
Best status:
No matter what they say about the advantages of a civil marriage, a loving man will not humiliate a woman with half-hearted trust, trial periods, a chance to step back if it doesn’t work out. In fact, a woman does not need this chance. What she needs most is love without a doubt.
If you follow the saying about a woman and about God, then you will not envy all of humanity. Because even God is at a loss as to what a woman really wants.
A man’s desire to sleep with an unapproachable beauty is simply baby talk compared to the desire of a woman who has set out on the path of searching for a candidate for marriage.
I will only get married if I find a cool wedding dress.
I can’t get married because I’m a greedy egoist. Someone will get me, so cool, and what will I get in return?
It’s a pity that there is no such pill that would erase the inscription in the eyes: “I want to get married!”
All mothers cry when their daughter gets married... But my mother says: let the one who takes you cry!:D
He asked me to marry him.. -And you?)) -What the hell kind of husband! My eyes still light up when I see the ice slide...
I don’t care about your plans, I’m marrying you in three years!
You write snotty quotes about love - you are a juvenile fool. Study nerd. If you don't study, go crazy. You sit at home - you're a nerd. When you hang out, you don’t think about the future. She got married early - she's a fool. She got married late - she's a fool. If you don't get married, you're a fool. Listen, go fuck yourself!
I will forget about my marriage, for your sake, my love!
In my time, marriage was a declaration of love. - And in my time - oh, I got pregnant 😀
Still, there is a marriage that can make a man happy. This is his daughter's marriage...
I don't drink alcohol, I have a lifelong marriage with him
The biggest incident is proposing marriage on INDEPENDENCE DAY :)
Have you ever tried to understand the meaning of the word “marriage”? for courage!;) like a medal)
When girls get married, they weigh 45-55 kilograms. It is easier for small ones to enter the husband's house. And after a short time they become 2-3 times heavier, so that it is more difficult to push them out of there.
If you've already married an oil tycoon, bought a house in Nice and won $1,000,000 in the lottery, that means your alarm clock is about to ring.
- How did you hang out? - I’m about to get married...
And yet, everyone has their own ideal.. My ideal is him... he’s the one I want to marry.. it’s him I want children from.. there can’t be anything else!
If you cannot answer the question “Do I want to continue to be with him???” just tell yourself “Do I want to marry him?? And everything will be decided right away)))
Such “princes” said that it’s better to fucking marry a horse...
On the bus: - Girl, are you getting off? - They're getting married! - Girl, are you going? - They're going crazy! - Maybe you’ll come out? - They come out when they are born! A man kicking her out of the bus: “Happy birthday, bitch!”
Every girl should have a friend in her life to whom she can say: “If I don’t get married before I’m 30, I’ll marry you!”
She sent him a text message: “I don’t care about your plans! In 5 years I will marry you!” His answer: “I don’t care about your plans! You will marry me in a year!”
Don't offer friendship! Just get married! Briefly about yourself: Magical - all over your head!
You build a relationship with someone for a very long time, and someone you just marry...
- Darling, will you marry me? - Well, I don’t know, I have to think! - Think and think, it depends on you where you will sit - in the car or in the trunk...
Only a woman can change her life with one act: marry someone else, be offended by her beloved, and then name her son after him.
I don’t want to study, and I don’t want to get married either, I just want to sleep until lunch and walk until the morning.
I want to get married. It’s so great to have someone nearby whom you can torment for the rest of your life.
men's dictionary...Will you marry me? = I want you to not be able to have sex with other guys...
I don’t want to marry a greedy, assed, stingy BEETLE!:)))
I want to marry a millionaire - I like them as people))
but in general, I want to get married... or rather, a beautiful wedding))
I want a glass of white wine, strawberries and... get married)
and I want to marry you. Give you wonderful children, cook delicious food, and most importantly, you will always be there..).
Pharmacies have received a pregnancy test with two strips called “I want to get married!”
The older and wiser a girl becomes, the more difficult it is for her to get married.
Today I dreamed that I was getting married... only not to the one who brings me happiness every day, but to the one whom I have despised all my life... A paradox.
Well, marry me. I can cook!.. soup with meatballs)
Sometimes there are such knights that it is better to marry his horse.
be friends?! God forbid I be friends with you! I want to marry you
Him: Darling, will you marry me? She: Is there nothing else we can do for you?
Some people marry for love, some for money, but there are people who marry their surnames! Well, aren't they fucked?
My final wish to my ex: “And may you get married someday!”
Hobble along slowly, and forget me. If you want to get married, someone will pick you up.
Vasilisa the Beautiful married Alyosha Popovich and she became Vasilisa the Beautiful-Popovich :)))
well, mom, you know, I can’t calmly walk past an idiot, I need to either fight, or make friends, or marry him
Why are women so eager to get married? Because otherwise they don’t know what to do with themselves.
An acquaintance got married and they became a couple - Many Years of Romance and Many Years of Love.
I always marry you in sims-2
- And then they offered me to get married... - Congratulations! Who? - Parents.
If my girlfriend was a boy, I would marry her.
I’ve always dreamed of being a witness at a wedding, consider yourself in the center of the action, but you don’t have to get married)
If you look at a girl for a long time, you can see how she gets married.
I washed the floors, wiped the dust, washed the clothes, sorted out the dishes, cleaned up, cleaned the bath... Fuck! I want to marry myself!
If a guy stops his computer game to respond to your message, marry him.
Women admire handsome men, adore smart men, fall in love with kind men, but willingly marry only strong men.
- They offered to marry me. - Wow! And who? - Parents.
All mothers cry when their daughters are taken in marriage. And only mine says: Let the one who takes away cry)
“Dad, I won’t get married, I will live with you!” - “Don’t you dare threaten your father!”
While you hesitate to say “I need you,” your friend will seriously ask me to marry you...
I really want something... either to get married... or to get some seeds...)))
The next station is “Zamuzh”. Let's go girls, let's go)
The dream of many girls is to marry a rich sapper.
The most important thing in a girl’s life is university. Get married successfully.
Fools get married. Smart people get married.
Marriage is a mirage in the desert with palaces, palm trees and a camel. First the palace disappears, then the palm trees, and you are finally left alone with the camel.
Sooner or later you will still get married - either you get a good person, or you get a bad condom.
You are too good a guy if the number of women who want to marry you is greater than the number who want to sleep with you.
-Are you married yet? - Yes, what, get married! You need to finish university. Make a career. There are so many opportunities ahead! - No name? - They don’t call.
So, I'm getting married! Everyone is getting ready for the wedding, and I went to look for my husband!
If you are married, and you don’t have a mink coat, diamonds, or drive an expensive car... Congratulations! You married for love)
I want to get married)) Take me!!!))
The computer freezes, basically like my marriage.
It seems that I have reached the age when not even grades at the exam, but marriage is the main topic of all conversations with my mother..
Marriage is the transition from an 8-hour working day to a 24-hour one!
– Marriage has killed more women than hunger, war and natural disasters.
I really want something...either marriage...or seeds...
Recently I saw on the street a girl of about 16 years old walking with a child, on the stroller with the child there is an inscription In the stroller it’s my brother, not my son, whoever calls me a young mother again will get it in the eye. Smiled.
Dear Grandfather Frost! Last time on New Year's I asked you for a boyfriend. so, take this goat back and give me better tangerines.
How to make a guy hysterical? Write him a text message: “How about sex without obligations?!”, and then add: “Oops... not for you!”
Everyone thinks that every girl's dream is to find the perfect guy... Yes, of course! Our dream is to eat and not gain weight!!!
Questions stand like hooks. Where did the men go? What kind of fate, motherfucker? Going to bed alone again...
It’s funny when three guys write to you at the same time: “Make sure you don’t cheat on me there!”
For women, men are like pies... for some with cabbage, for others with eggs!!!
Do you think you'll be my boyfriend? Ha! Naive! At least a husband!
I really want to kiss him, but my pride gets in the way. I really want to come up and hug you, but you need to control yourself. But there is one “BUT”, he is such a goat, but you still love only him...
You correspond with a guy you like and at the same time send the correspondence to your friend. and every time you are afraid that you will send correspondence to him by mistake.
Me: - Mom, two guys are asking me to date, I can’t choose, what should I do? Mom looks at me and smiles. Me: - No, mom, this is not an option with both! They know each other. Mom: - Damn!
Guys, you are our defenders! Stop pumping up elves, pump up your muscles!!!))
If a guy looks into your eyes for a long, long time, the girl can be sure that he has already looked at everything else.
So what if I eat a lot of sweets! And this doesn’t mean that I will be plump... I will be sweet! :))
Women's logic - It’s better to say it in a good way, otherwise I’ll think of it myself, it will be worse!
Female omen: If you go out without makeup, you will meet everyone you know!
Honey, I have 2 news for you. One is good, the other is bad. Which one should I start with? - Let's go with the bad... - I crashed your BMW. - Is it good?.. - I won’t do that again.
Marry me already! Urgently! Otherwise, all my married friends complain about how unhappy they are... I’m the only happy one. It's just inconvenient =)
Do you know why MEN used to be more willing to MARRY? Because there WERE NOT, well, NO ready-made cutlets and dumplings on sale... =))
Dear girls, if you hear the phrase: There are no ugly women - there is not enough vodka. Feel free to answer: There are no ugly men - there is not enough money!
Spring will show who pumped the press in winter and who pumped the refrigerator door
The kettle is whistling, the microwave is beeping, the children are screaming, the husband is freaking out, the cat is asking for food, the dog is barking, the phone is ringing...
and all this fucking is called “good morning”???)
And I will leave... Not noticing the insults... Chewing a chocolate candy... And let an evil horse love you, and not a ray of sunshine like me!!!
Girls are like salt: it’s not sweet with them, but without them it’s tasteless...
A girl can drink a bottle of vodka, beat a guy with her purse, walk home on a dark street alone... But she will go to the toilet with a friend.
I’m thinking about deleting the phone numbers of my ex-boyfriends from my mobile phone... and all after my mother screamed from the kitchen, “Go quickly, the fuck is calling you.”
A friend gave me a kitten. I run home, smile from ear to ear, shouting to my boyfriend - “Hurray! We’re having a little one!!” He almost fell off the sofa, poor thing.
A real girl can take off and put on her bra without taking off her T-shirt.
I was often told as a child that I was a very kind and sweet girl... In general, they jinxed me, you bastards...
I went to the store to buy a bag, but I liked the boots and bought a blouse.
There are always two essences fighting in a woman: a cat that wants to walk on its own, and a dog that needs an owner...))
I would like to get married. My wife would cook dinner for me, bustle around the house, bake pies... But my sexual orientation does not allow me to have a wife, since, unfortunately, I am straight.
Every morning I go through 5 stages of waking up: denial, anger, bargaining, awareness, coffee.
A proper handbag should hold at least two one and a half bags.
Every woman has the right to wake up her husband at three in the morning to ask if he loves her. And if he loves, then let him bring him something to drink.
Never send women! They won't get lost even without you!
I would be a good girl if it weren't for these bad boys...
And yet, heels are an extraordinary thing... Put them on by a chic woman, take them off by a happy person.
Only a girl can put her cell phone on silent mode so as not to distract her, and then check every 5 minutes to see if she has received an SMS.
So, I stayed at home with my child until he was three years old. Tomorrow is the first day of work. At least I’ll rest!
A real girl should have 4 animals: a JAGUAR near the entrance, a MINK in the closet, a TIGER in bed and a GOAT who pays for all this..
SMS correspondence. HE: “I was wrong... forgive me...” SHE: “I only have one question! How were you able to type an SMS with your hooves?!”
I'm scratching my heels again! On ice and morning powder! Of course it's tough!!! How did you want it??? What if fate!!??? And I'm wearing galoshes...
How to determine whether you need to lose weight? If a man can carry you to bed in his arms, you are in shape... If not, change this goon for a normal man!
A real woman can make something out of nothing: a hairstyle, a salad and a tragedy.
If a guy stops his computer game to respond to your message, marry him.
Only our women know how to shine like stars, flutter like moths, bloom like roses, and at the same time plow like horses...
Women's wardrobe: nothing to wear, but nowhere to hang it.
Oh, and somewhere in the golden time when I was praised for sleeping and eating well!!!
Katya, pay attention to how you walk... A girl should float as if on the waves. But you don’t swim, and you don’t even walk. You're fucking!
In winter, all the birds fly south, and the hares change their fur coats... Dear, am I a bunny or a bird???
I am always tormented by one question, where do the clothes that I don’t like in my wardrobe come from?
Girls with small breasts are the happiest, because they are sure that they were not loved for their tits!
Honey, you got it. Your mom liked me!!!
A girl will flirt with anyone if the right person is looking at her at the same time.
Every woman is a sorceress... If she is in the mood, she creates. If he's not in the mood, he does something.
For women, childhood ends when they are called not to eat, but to cook...
Well-mannered girls don’t swear, don’t get drunk, don’t dance on tables... In general, their life is boring - very boring!
All women are essentially angels, but when their wings are broken off, they have to fly on a broom.
Yesterday a little boy called me (wrong number) and asked: “Mom, where are you?” The second day I walk around under the impression and think... Maybe this is a call from the future?
When the thought came to me to tell him to fuck off, the cockroaches in my head gave a standing ovation.
I decided to tidy up my purse... I took out the bucket three times.
No need for the labors of Hercules. No need for money, power, rank. Don't make women cry. Then they will call you a Man!
Two blondes: - Olya, tell me, when I copy text with the mouse, where is it saved? - As where? Of course in the mouse!
A woman really has such a place that, if you touch it, you can drive her crazy - this is her soul.
I am very kind, gentle, affectionate, fluffy. The main thing is not to step on the tail.
The fact that a woman didn’t refuse you doesn’t mean anything. Perhaps she did not refuse you, but herself.
Women are resourceful! They will find everything - even socks, even a remote control, even a stash, even another husband!
I think about you every Saturday... when I wash the floor with your shirt...
Girls! If the skirt has become tight, throw it away if it can’t contain so much beauty!)))
I can do anything!!! - Can you be silent? - I can do anything, I can’t be silent...
The myth that women only need money was invented by men who have no money.
Why scare your wife with a divorce? Use your brains, man! You're in only shorts with debts. Only your mother will need you!
The woman is a strange bird. He gets up in the morning like a lark, works like a woodpecker and goes to bed late like an owl. At the same time, she must coo like a dove and shine like a firebird, remaining a pie in the sky for other men, and a bird in the hands for her own.
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