Death anniversary 1 year when to commemorate. Funeral: essence, rules, mournful words about death

Days of commemoration after death: on the day of the funeral, 9 and 40days, after 1 year.The essence of the wake. What to say at a wake? Funeral words and funeral speech. Lenten menu.

What to say at a wake

The first word at a wake is traditionally given to the head of the family.. In the future, the responsibility to monitor the general conversation and gently guide its flow rests with one of the fairly close or relatives, but still not with the closest relative. It is cruel to expect a mother mourning a child or a spouse bereaved to be able to maintain order while dealing with with your own feelings. Selected for this role a person who knew the deceased well enough and able, in a tense moment, to remember some trait of his character, a nice habit or an event from his life that he can tell those gathered about.

It should be noted that The usual rules of a “social party” do not apply to a wake.: there is no need to try to fill the pause that has arisen in the conversation or break the silence with insignificant remarks - especially on an abstract topic. Silence at a wake is not only normal, but even correct: in silence, everyone remembers the deceased and feels more fully their connection with him.

Funeral speech at a wake

If you want to speak out- stand up, briefly outline how you remember the deceased (naturally, it's only about positive features ), which made him a special person in your eyes. If you remember any case when the deceased did a good deed for you personally or for someone abstract or unfamiliar, tell about it, but do not tell stories in which someone present appears. Everyone can speak at a wake, but try don't drag out your speech too much: After all, it’s already hard for many of those gathered.

You may not know absolutely exactly how to conduct a funeral “correctly”- don't worry too much about it. The main thing in this case is sincere intention and pure thoughts towards the deceased. When you do something in memory of the deceased with an open heart, you can't go wrong. It is important to remember only one thing: the funeral in a secular sense are needed to a greater extent by the living than by the deceased: like any ritual action in our life, designed to ease experiences and accept new reality life. Therefore, when organizing a memorial service, do not forget about the feelings of those who come to honor the memory of the deceased.

As for strictly Orthodox commemoration, then, of course, it is better to do everything in accordance with the canon, so as not to unknowingly do anything unacceptable from the point of view of the Russian Orthodox Church. It is better to learn about these rules in advance in the church - for example, when you order a funeral service.

Of course, we remember all the relatives, loved ones and friends who have left us. But there are specific memorial dates that are usually celebrated according to traditions that have survived even the times of socialism. These also include commemorations a year after the tragic date.

Of course, there are certain rules of conduct based on ancient customs that are not known to everyone. So let's take a quick look at them. In principle, an anniversary differs little from a wake on the ninth day or the fortieth day. But there is one exception. If everyone comes to a memorial meeting, which is held immediately after the funeral or shortly after it, then the anniversary requires the presence of an exclusively narrow circle.

The narrow circle includes the closest friends of the deceased and his relatives, and it depends only on the organizer of the meeting whether to invite specific people at her, is it appropriate? Usually it is recommended to start the memorial day with a visit to church. Here you can order a funeral prayer and light a candle. Then it is worth visiting the grave of the deceased to pay tribute to him and lay flowers.

And only after this, all the invitees gather for a funeral dinner, that is, a special meal with a traditional set of mandatory and secondary dishes, which may vary slightly depending on the region of residence and the culinary preferences of people.

What might a funeral meal menu include?

The main memorial table symbol that has come down to us from our ancestors is the Orthodox kutia. The Slavs cooked kutya from wheat grains, generously anointing the dishes with honey, nuts, poppy seeds, raisins and jam. Today, rice is often used for cooking. Kutya should first be consecrated in church, sprinkled with holy water or read a prayer before the meal. The funeral dinner begins with kutya. You can also put other dishes on the table.

• Favorite dishes of the deceased. This helps to remember more about the deceased, share his tastes, and tune in to a conversation about him.
• As a first, you can offer borscht, cabbage soup, noodle soup, solyanka.
• Any types of pies, such as baked goods with fish, meat and sweet filling very common in traditional Slavic cuisine.
• Meat dishes with a side dish of porridge or mashed potatoes.
• Traditional pickles, preserves, including herring and other pickles.
• Familiar ones are acceptable vegetable salads, Olivier, etc., it is only undesirable to use exotic dishes such as octopus or truffles.
• Most often, fruit drinks, compotes made from fresh berries or dried fruits are served as drinks.

Good funeral table It should not be meager, but an excessive variety of dishes is not encouraged. The main thing is to satiate everyone who came to the meeting and not give rise to the impression that the event organizers are excessively saving. If the funeral is held during Lent, then the meat on the menu can easily be replaced with mushrooms or fish; several varieties of porridge are appropriate so as not to leave guests hungry.

As for the location of the wake, it is best to have special banquet halls with a convenient location and a calm atmosphere. A specially trained master of ceremonies will help you understand the intricacies of the event and its organization.

Funeral speech at a funeral text - farewell words, expressed in memory of the deceased by his family and friends. They are pronounced over the grave of the buried with all their hearts. The speaker talks about important and significant events associated with this person, his achievements, and also speaks on the good side about the character and personality of the deceased. It is advisable if he says this orally, and not reads it from a piece of paper.

Funeral speech

Quite a lot of people attend funerals and wakes. Mostly these are relatives and friends of the deceased, but there are others - colleagues, acquaintances, school friends and others. As a rule, the head of the family or the oldest and closest person is the first to pronounce the funeral words. If he is in a strong emotional state, then others present can speak at the wake.

Funeral speech example:

"My grandmother was wonderful person with a difficult but interesting fate. Her along with three younger brothers and her sister were raised by her mother alone in the difficult post-war years. To say that they lived poorly then would be an understatement. She had to endure many difficulties and hardships, but she never lost her optimism and presence of mind, constantly helping her mother and taking care of the younger members of the family. And later, having married her military grandfather, she steadfastly endured all the hardships of service. In any circumstances, she always maintained exemplary order at home and taught all family members to do so. Grandma was sometimes strict, but fair. I am glad that I managed to learn from her neatness and order, the ability to organize my life. And her famous apple pies were simply incomparable, no one else could do them! I will always remember you, my dear, beloved grandmother! Your warmth, love and care will remain with us forever.”

If others don’t know you well, then at the beginning of your speech you should introduce yourself and explain under what circumstances you met the deceased. The funeral speech should contain words of gratitude towards the deceased and reflect his positive traits. You can mention any significant moment that occurred with the participation of the deceased.

Funeral words for 40 days:

“I’ll introduce myself for those who don’t know me: my name is (name). We have worked together with (name of deceased) for the past few years and I would like to say a few words in memory of him. He was a true professional in his field, a specialist with capital letters. Many of our colleagues, young and not only, learned the basics of their craft from him and often used his advice and help. He was very patient and responsive, he could always listen to everyone who turned to him for support, advise something, help out, and never refused anyone’s requests. He could perfectly lift the spirits of anyone who was upset, confused or depressed about something. The countless stories he tells funny stories, toasts, jokes and anecdotes could amuse anyone. We will all greatly miss him at our dinner gatherings and corporate events, where he invariably shone at the table, lifting our morale. There is no other person like him in our team. And maybe it won’t be in my memory anymore. We will all miss him greatly. Until the end of his life, he will remain in my memory and the memory of all our colleagues as an example of perseverance, sparkling cheerfulness, activity and professionalism! Rest in peace, dear colleague!”

It is advisable if you prepare the words for the wake in advance and memorize them. Because a well-formulated text will sound good and be perceived by others. And sluggish, boring speech with hesitations can be regarded as disrespect for the deceased and his family. If you are afraid that you will forget the words, you can take a piece of paper with you with a sample funeral speech. You need to pronounce words clearly and slowly. You need to speak confidently and so that others can hear you, but not too loudly.

Speech at a wake examples

Funeral words on the anniversary of death (from a colleague):

"Friends! The deceased worked honestly at the (name) enterprise for more than twenty years. We all knew him as a decent, honest and modest person. Valued for skillful hands and reliable character. We will miss his many invisible but irreplaceable contributions to the work! The bright memory of him will remain in our hearts!”

Speech at the wake 1 year (from friends):

“Friends, the best of us has gone to another world. We are all deeply saddened. Our souls are bleeding from untimely loss. The deceased was a support to all of us. He was the first to help and did not wait for requests or complaints. His kind heart and wide soul were always open. He was a clear beacon and guide in the complex and dangerous world for all of us, his friends! May the soul of this magnificent man rest in peace! We will always remember him with a feeling of light sadness mixed with secret melancholy!”

Memorial speech for 40 days (from relatives):

"All his life our father was a worthy example not only to your children, but also to those around you. In everyday life, he demonstrated a wise understanding of true values, kindness and devotion. Any person left him with an enlightened soul. And to us, his children, our father instilled a love for people, a high sense of responsibility and devotion to the Motherland. We consider his departure unfairly early. Eternal to him bright memory!»

“Our grandfather was very kind and a good man. His path was long and difficult. He perceived all the difficulties that befell the country as his own. He worked and raised children without complaining about the lack of benefits, lack of food or amenities. He raised children and was a support for his grandchildren. This magnificent man will be greatly missed by all of us. May his memory be blessed!”

Words of condolences are expressed not only during funerals, but also on days of remembrance of the deceased. Speeches are given at wakes 40 days later, a year after the date of death, as well as during Parents’ Saturdays and others. Orthodox holidays. Speeches can be made both at the cemetery and during funeral dinners.

What do they say at funerals? At this event, all deceased relatives and friends are remembered. They remember what they were like during life, what they were interested in, what they loved. Words of condolences are spoken and the blessed memory of the deceased is honored. It is forbidden to say anything bad about the deceased or to recall old grievances. It’s either good or nothing, says the popular saying.

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Funeral poems

In addition to the funeral speech, condolences can be expressed in poetry or toasts. These options are more suitable for a wake than for the funeral itself. For example, memorial poems are read on the anniversary of death. They can be written with your own hand or taken ready-made. If you do not have the opportunity to personally attend the wake, you can express your condolences by posting memorial poems in the newspaper.

***
Two tears fell into the flowers,
Two big, pink roses!
From my tormented soul
Hopeless tears rolled out!
They see my wet eyes
Something they don't believe in at all
What you can never change
What is measured with pain and tears!
My heart beats stubbornly
And desperately doesn't want to know
That you can no longer see your beloved eyes,
And you can no longer hug your dear ones!!!

***
You have always been an example to us,
As a person with a pure soul.
And the memory of you is alive
In the hearts and souls of your loved ones.

***
People close to us are leaving.
Do not realize that - forever,
Do not exhaust all the pain of separation,
And he hits backhand - never.

We won't see them, we won't hear them,
We won't ask, we won't talk,
Although, as before, we breathe them,
We love them, we wait for them, we adore them.

Ridiculous, strange, impossible,
That dawn has come again,
Call, scream or cry heart-rendingly,
And there are no more loved ones nearby.

***
We cannot understand or comprehend
Can't survive, can't overcome,
That the chariot of life circles,
As it was before, exactly the same.

The sun is shining and the air is so fresh,
What days it is, but it’s very sad.
Gone is the beautiful hope from hopes
And again my heart is sad and empty.
There has been silence in the apartment for six months now,
Everything there is yours and it’s hard to believe in it.
I would drink the cup of grief to the dregs,
But it still cannot be measured.
I really want to come to you again,
Kiss and just be with you.
With hope to resist in the fight,
Argue with illness and disease.
The further you go, the more immeasurable the depth
The abyss that has come between us
Like you now, like in childhood, I need you,
But it is impossible to beg with tears.
I'm strong, you know I can do it
After all, you and I have been through so much.
I am forever in your debt,
You are an eternal piece in my world.
I'll bring you flowers and stand
And the heart will touch with its wound.
And you will feel how much I love you
My beloved, only mother.

***
Memorial verses for 1 year:
You died too early
Words cannot express our pain.
Sleep, dear, you are our pain and wound,
The memory of you is always alive.

***
We come here
To put flowers,
It’s very difficult, dear,
We can live without you.

***
The Great Tribulation cannot be measured,
Tears won't help my grief.
You are not with us, but forever
You will not die in our hearts.

***
Where do all the dreams go?
And why don't they return?
How we experience pain
After all, they were happy once.
Like waking up every day
Understand that this is all reality,
How painful it is to remember that day
When everything in life changed.

***
My soul is worried without you,
You don't need girlfriends or friends.
Why is it possible without millions?
Why is it impossible without one?

***
I don't rock you in your crib
I come again to the cold fence
I will fix the fallen wreath
And I will sing to you, dear son...

***
They usually leave without saying goodbye,
Without whispering yours last words,
Perhaps without going on a long journey,
In that long journey dreams and dreams.
Just yesterday they smiled sweetly at us,
Their eyes emitted a bright light,
And as always, waiting for us to visit,
We dreamed of giving our friendly advice.
They, like all of us, really wanted to live,
And every moment brought them joy,
We didn’t have time to do everything we wanted to do,
They still had so much strength.
At some point, everything broke off,
Someone from above told them their deadline,
The soul rushed about in confusion,
That she didn’t even have time to tell us a few words.
Even if they are not with us, we love them,
And we remember happy days,
And our heart will never forget them,
It’s as if they are somewhere nearby.

***
We are sad and sad
And there are no other feelings.
Let's remember all the parents,
Let's remember all our relatives!

Let's remember all those who have passed away,
In the prime of his life,
Brothers and sisters of the dead,
Friends and strangers!

They once lived
And they made us happy
Laughed and loved
They took care of us.

A long time ago or recently
They are no longer with us
And reverently to the grave
We bring a bouquet!

In fast-flowing time
We don’t remember other things,
But you are family to us
More than alive!

We ask You, Lord,
About mercy alone,
Forgive their sins, Lord,
May their souls rest!
***
Among those who love there is agreement
Among the lonely there is only pain
Among those deceived by love - revenge
And among the dead - memory and separation

***
Death took you away on a path of no return
And brought me beyond the boundaries of existence.
Here I dissolved in the quiet echo of the alarm
A life lived “in Russian” is yours.
And all that was in the heart before was pain and rage,
Dreams, hopes, faith and love -
In the space of space it suddenly invisibly disintegrated,
But maybe it will be reborn in someone again.
And there are white-trunked birches near the grave,
When the moon is silent in the night,
Tears and dew fall before the clear dawns of the earth,
That the mother's eyes did not drain to the bottom.

***
Your watch has stopped. how you didn’t want to leave!!!
But the heart has stopped beating, and we can’t bring you back,
You've been through a lot in your life,
War and famine, but you survived in spite of everyone.
Your clock ticks in your friends' houses, everyone loved you! you've always been lucky!
Giving life to your family’s watches, you poured your breath into them.
You lubricated their hearts and eased the hours of suffering.
But you couldn’t help yourself, and it’s useless to lubricate your heart.
I didn’t win this fight, I gave it all, I gave it all for free.
We gave you the warmth of our hearts, and we were always with you,
Our dear grandfather, father-in-law, father and father-in-law,
You were so afraid to be alone, you were so afraid to be with yourself.
But the black hag came to you, swinging her scythe and hitting you straight in the heart.
The clock has stopped, but the soul
Stayed with us, we are always with you, we are together.
February, frost, trees without leaves, and we haven’t learned to live without you.
You wanted to be with us so much, but alas
Your watch has stopped...

Funeral toasts

Funeral toasts at a wake are usually said at the table. They do not necessarily specify the identity of the deceased. You can express general condolences to all the deceased:

The grandfather sat in heaven and wept bitterly. A boy came up to him and asked why he was grieving. The old man answered him:
- There is a custom on earth - to drink for the repose of our souls. And then we are always full and with a full jug of wine. We are glad that the children remember us. And now I have an empty jug and that’s why I’m sad.
So let's drink to those who are not with us!

Friends, today is a day of sorrow. There was a time when we had fun and rejoiced with someone who left us. But today you and I drink this cup of sorrow ourselves, having spent last way someone close to us. Not everyone in the world was honored with the Dormition, like the Mother of God and other holy people. But we will keep in our hearts the good memory of our friend, having hope for resurrection and a new meeting in a new place. Let's drink to the dregs the wine of sadness!

IN wolf pack the leader died suddenly without leaving a will. The wolves announced a meeting to elect a new leader. For three days they argued and squabbled, because each was afraid that the new leader would begin to take revenge on those who voted against him. When they were already hoarse from screaming, the old wise wolf stood up and said:
- Let's choose someone from outside our pack to be an impartial leader.
Everyone agreed and asked who. Then the wise old wolf suggested choosing a goat as leader. The wolves began to be indignant:
- We just didn’t have enough goats yet!
But the wise old wolf explained:
- Even though he is a goat, he has one advantage: if he starts causing chaos, he can always be bullied.
The wolves agreed with a laugh and called the goat. When they brought the goat trembling with fear, they said to him:
- Listen carefully! We will choose you as our leader if you don’t act like a jerk.
The goat became even more frightened and replied:
- I'm a goat. But I renounce my asshole past. I swear I will never be an asshole again.
The wolves made an approving noise and dedicated the goat to their leader.
“Now you are our leader,” said the old wise wolf. - You can order us whatever you want, and we will obey. Our fate is in your hands.
All the wolves, with their tails between their legs, nodded affirmatively and asked the goat to make a speech. The goat quickly jumped onto the rock, spread his legs wider, fluffed out his beard, stuck out his horns, looked around the silent flock with a slow gaze and bleated sternly:
- Well, which one of us is the goat?
So let's remember our glorious leaders!

Toasts at a wake can also be expressed in poetic form:

Blessed memory of those who have left us,
Let's drink to this now.
Let it be like granite in our hearts,
Preserves the memory of loved ones who have passed away.
Let all the good things that happened to them
A damp grave will not bury you.
No matter how long we keep the memory,
He will live with us for that long.

Funeral notes

You can also honor the memory of the deceased with the help of memorial notes. In churches there is a special table where there is a sample memorial note on which you can write it. A cross is placed at the very top of the sheet and marked “for repose.” Then they write full names deceased in genitive case and in church writing (for example, Ivan - John), neatly and legibly. Usually about ten to fifteen names are written. Moreover, everyone who is written there must be baptized in the Orthodox Church.

In addition to the names, the note indicates which deceased person is: newly deceased - deceased for forty days after death or ever-memorable (worthy of constant remembrance) - deceased who has a memorable date on this day.

When going to a funeral or wake, it is important to remember etiquette. You need to behave delicately and tactfully. It is worth preparing words of condolences, which can be expressed through a funeral speech, memorial poems or toasts. An appropriate and competent speech will be appreciated with gratitude by the family and friends of the deceased.

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The hour comes when the remains of the deceased are buried in the earth, where they will rest until the end of time and the general resurrection. But the love of the Mother of the Church for her child who has departed from this life does not dry out. IN famous days she makes prayers for the deceased and makes a bloodless sacrifice for his repose. Special days of commemoration are the third, ninth and fortieth (in this case, the day of death is considered the first). Commemoration on these days is sanctified by ancient church custom. It is consistent with the teaching of the Church about the state of the soul beyond the grave.

The third day. The commemoration of the deceased on the third day after death is performed in honor of the three-day resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image Holy Trinity.

For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the Angel accompanying it through those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. The soul that loves the body sometimes wanders around the house in which the body is placed, and thus spends two days like a bird looking for a nest. A virtuous soul walks through those places in which it used to do the truth. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him, the God of all. Very timely therefore church commemoration the soul that appeared before the Just One.

Ninth day. The commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine ranks of angels, who, as servants of the King of Heaven and representatives to Him for us, petition for pardon for the deceased.

After the third day, the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their indescribable beauty. She remains in this state for six days. During this time, the soul forgets the sorrow that it felt while in the body and after leaving it. But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the pleasure of the saints she begins to grieve and reproach herself: “Woe is me! How much I have become fussy in this world! I spent most I lived in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, so that I too might be worthy of this grace and glory. Alas for me, poor one!” On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. The soul stands before the throne of the Most High with fear and trembling. But even at this time, the Holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the merciful Judge to place the soul of her child with the saints.

Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparation and acceptance of a special Divine gift gracious help Heavenly Father. The Prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established commemoration on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the deceased would ascend the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, be rewarded with the sight of God, achieve the bliss promised to it and settle in the heavenly villages with the righteous.

After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and it contemplates the cruel torment of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place to stay until Last Judgment. That's why it's so timely church prayers and commemorations on this day. They atone for the sins of the deceased and ask for his soul to be placed in paradise with the saints.

Anniversary. The Church commemorates the deceased on the anniversary of their death. The basis for this establishment is obvious. It is known that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle, after which all the fixed holidays are repeated again. Death anniversary loved one always celebrated with at least a heartfelt remembrance by his loving family and friends. For an Orthodox believer, this is a birthday for a new, eternal life.

UNIVERSAL MEMORIAL SERVICES (PARENTAL SATURDAYS)

In addition to these days, the Church has established special days for the solemn, general, ecumenical commemoration of all fathers and brothers in faith who have passed away from time to time, who have been worthy of Christian death, as well as those who, having been caught by sudden death, were not guided into the afterlife by the prayers of the Church. The memorial services performed at this time, specified by the statutes of the Ecumenical Church, are called ecumenical, and the days on which the commemoration is performed are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. In the circle of the liturgical year, such days of general remembrance are:

Meat Saturday. Dedicating the Meat Week to the remembrance of the Last Last Judgment of Christ, the Church, in view of this judgment, established to intercede not only for its living members, but also for all who have died from time immemorial, who have lived in piety, of all generations, ranks and conditions, especially for those who died a sudden death , and prays to the Lord for mercy on them. The solemn all-church commemoration of the departed on this Saturday (as well as on Trinity Saturday) brings great benefit and help to our deceased fathers and brothers and at the same time serves as an expression of the fullness of the church life that we live. For salvation is possible only in the Church - the community of believers, the members of which are not only those living, but also all those who have died in the faith. And communication with them through prayer, their prayerful remembrance is an expression of our common unity in the Church of Christ.

Saturday Trinity. The commemoration of all dead pious Christians is established on the Saturday before Pentecost due to the fact that the event of the descent of the Holy Spirit completed the economy of human salvation, and the deceased also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending up prayers on Pentecost for the revival of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the holiday that for the departed the grace of the all-holy and all-sanctifying Spirit of the Comforter, which they were granted during their lifetime, would be a source of bliss, since by the Holy Spirit “every soul is given life.” " Therefore, the Church devotes the eve of the holiday, Saturday, to the remembrance of the departed and prayer for them. Saint Basil the Great, who composed the touching prayers of Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord especially on this day deigns to accept prayers for the dead and even for “those kept in hell.”

Parents' Saturdays 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of the Holy Pentecost. On Holy Pentecost - the days of Great Lent, the feat of spirituality, the feat of repentance and charity to others - the Church calls on believers to be in the closest union of Christian love and peace not only with the living, but also with the dead, to perform prayerful commemorations of those who have departed from this life on designated days. In addition, the Saturdays of these weeks are designated by the Church for the remembrance of the dead for another reason that on the weekdays of Great Lent no funeral commemorations are performed (this includes funeral litanies, litias, memorial services, commemorations of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days by death, sorokousty), since there is no full liturgy every day, the celebration of which is associated with the commemoration of the dead. In order not to deprive the dead of the saving intercession of the Church on the days of the Holy Pentecost, the indicated Saturdays are allocated.

Radonitsa. The basis for the general commemoration of the dead, which takes place on Tuesday after St. Thomas Week (Sunday), is, on the one hand, the remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death, connected with St. Thomas Sunday, and on the other hand, the permission of the church charter to perform the usual commemoration of the dead after Passion and Holy Week, starting from Fomin Monday. On this day, believers come to the graves of their relatives and friends with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. Hence the day of remembrance itself is called Radonitsa (or Radunitsa).

Unfortunately, in Soviet time a custom was established to visit cemeteries not on Radonitsa, but on the first day of Easter. It is natural for a believer to visit the graves of his loved ones after fervent prayer for their repose in the church - after a memorial service has been served in the church. During the same Easter week There are no funeral services, for Easter is an all-encompassing joy for believers in the Resurrection of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, during the entire Easter week, funeral litanies are not pronounced (although the usual commemoration is performed at the proskomedia), and memorial services are not served.

CHURCH FUNERAL SERVICES

The deceased must be commemorated in the Church as often as possible, not only on designated special days of remembrance, but also on any other day. The Church performs the main prayer for the repose of deceased Orthodox Christians on Divine Liturgy, making a bloodless sacrifice to God for them. To do this, you should submit notes with their names to the church before the start of the liturgy (or the night before) (only baptized Orthodox Christians can be entered). At the proskomedia, particles will be taken out of the prosphora for their repose, which at the end of the liturgy will be lowered into the holy chalice and washed with the Blood of the Son of God. Let us remember that this is the greatest benefit we can provide to those who are dear to us. This is what the Epistle says about commemoration at the liturgy Eastern Patriarchs: “We believe that the souls of people who fell into mortal sins and did not despair at death, but repented even before separation from real life, only those who did not have time to bear any fruits of repentance (such fruits could be their prayers, tears, kneeling during prayer vigils, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression of love for God and neighbors in their actions) - the souls of such people descend into hell and suffer for what they have committed sins of punishment, without losing, however, hope for relief. They receive relief through the infinite goodness of God through the prayers of priests and charity performed for the dead, and especially through the power of bloodless sacrifice, which, in particular, the priest makes for every Christian for his loved ones, and in general for everyone the Catholic Church makes every day. Apostolic Church».

An eight-pointed symbol is usually placed at the top of the note. Orthodox cross. Then the type of commemoration is indicated - “On repose”, after which the names of those commemorated in the genitive case are written in large, legible handwriting (to answer the question “who?”), and the clergy and monastics are mentioned first, indicating the rank and degree of monasticism (for example, Metropolitan John, schema-abbot Savva, archpriest Alexander, nun Rachel, Andrey, Nina).

All names must be given in church spelling (for example, Tatiana, Alexy) and in full (Mikhail, Lyubov, and not Misha, Lyuba).

The number of names on the note does not matter; you just need to take into account that the priest has the opportunity to read not very long notes more carefully. Therefore, it is better to submit several notes if you want to remember many of your loved ones.

By submitting notes, the parishioner makes a donation for the needs of the monastery or temple. To avoid embarrassment, please remember that the difference in prices (registered or plain notes) only reflects the difference in the amount of the donation. Also, do not be embarrassed if you did not hear the names of your relatives mentioned in the litany. As mentioned above, the main commemoration takes place at the proskomedia when removing particles from the prosphora. During the funeral litany, you can take out your memorial and pray for your loved ones. The prayer will be more effective if the one commemorating himself on that day partakes of the Body and Blood of Christ.

After the liturgy, a memorial service can be celebrated. The memorial service is served before the eve - a special table with an image of the crucifixion and rows of candlesticks. Here you can leave an offering for the needs of the temple in memory of deceased loved ones.

It is very important after death to order the sorokoust in the church - continuous commemoration during the liturgy for forty days. After its completion, the sorokoust can be ordered again. There are also long periods of commemoration - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal (as long as the monastery stands) commemoration or for commemoration during the reading of the Psalter (such is the ancient Orthodox custom). Than in more temples will offer prayer, so much the better for our neighbor!

Very useful in memorable days donate the deceased to the church, give alms to the poor with a request to pray for him. On the eve you can bring sacrificial food. You cannot just bring meat food and alcohol (except for church wine) to the eve. The simplest type of sacrifice for the deceased is a candle that is lit for his repose.

Realizing that the most we can do for our deceased loved ones is to submit a note of remembrance at the liturgy, we should not forget to pray for them at home and perform acts of mercy.

MEMORY OF THE DECEASED AT HOME PRAYER

Prayer for the departed is our main and invaluable help to those who have passed into another world. The deceased, by and large, does not need a coffin, a grave monument, much less a memorial table - all this is just a tribute to traditions, albeit very pious ones. But the eternally living soul of the deceased experiences a great need for constant prayer, for it cannot itself do good deeds with which it would be able to appease the Lord. Home prayer for loved ones, including the dead, is the duty of every Orthodox Christian. St. Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, speaks about prayer for the dead: “If the all-discerning Wisdom of God does not forbid praying for the dead, does this not mean that it is still allowed to throw a rope, although not always reliable enough, but sometimes, and perhaps often, saving for souls who have fallen away from the shores of temporary life, but have not reached eternal refuge? Saving for those souls who hesitate over the abyss between bodily death and the last court Christ, now rising by faith, now immersed in deeds unworthy of it, now elevated by grace, now brought down by the remains of a damaged nature, now ascended by Divine desire, now entangled in the rough, not yet completely stripped off clothing of earthly thoughts...”

Home prayerful commemoration of a deceased Christian is very diverse. You should pray especially diligently for the deceased in the first forty days after his death. As already indicated in the section “Reading the Psalter for the Dead,” during this period it is very useful to read the Psalter about the deceased, at least one kathisma per day. You can also recommend reading an akathist about the repose of the departed. In general, the Church commands us to pray every day for deceased parents, relatives, known people and benefactors. For this purpose, among the daily morning prayers included the following short prayer:

Prayer for the departed

Rest, O Lord, the souls of Your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.

It is more convenient to read names from a commemoration book - a small book where the names of living and deceased relatives are written down. There is a pious custom of keeping family memorials, reading which Orthodox people remember by name many generations of their deceased ancestors.

FUNERAL MEAL

The pious custom of remembering the dead at meals has been known for a very long time. But, unfortunately, many funerals turn into an occasion for relatives to get together, discuss news, eat delicious food, while Orthodox Christians should pray for the deceased at the funeral table.

Before the meal you should perform a lithium - short rank funeral service, which can be performed by a layperson. IN as a last resort you need to at least read Psalm 91 and the Lord’s Prayer. The first dish eaten at a wake is kutia (kolivo). These are boiled cereal grains (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains serve as a symbol of resurrection, and honey - the sweetness that the righteous enjoy in the Kingdom of God. According to the charter, kutia must be blessed with a special rite during a memorial service; if this is not possible, you need to sprinkle it with holy water.

Naturally, the owners want to provide a tasty treat for everyone who came to the funeral. But you must observe the fasts established by the Church and eat permitted foods: on Wednesdays, Fridays, and during long fasts, do not eat fasting foods. If the memory of the deceased occurs on a weekday during Lent, then the commemoration is moved to the Saturday or Sunday closest to it.

You must abstain from wine, especially vodka, at the funeral meal! The dead are not remembered with wine! Wine is a symbol of earthly joy, and a wake is an occasion for intense prayer for a person who may suffer greatly in life. afterlife. You should not drink alcohol, even if the deceased himself liked to drink. It is known that “drunken” wakes often turn into an ugly gathering where the deceased is simply forgotten. At the table you need to remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - wake). The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the table “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed in Orthodox families.

On the contrary, there are pious customs worthy of emulation. In many Orthodox families, the first to sit down at the funeral table are the poor and the poor, children and old women. They can also be given clothes and belongings of the deceased. Orthodox people can tell about numerous cases of identification from the afterlife about great help to the deceased as a result of the creation of alms by their relatives. Moreover, the loss of loved ones prompts many people to take the first step towards God, to start living life Orthodox Christian.

Thus, one living archimandrite tells the following incident from his pastoral practice.

“This happened in the difficult post-war years. A mother, tearful with grief, whose eight-year-old son Misha drowned, comes to me, the rector of the village church. And she says that she dreamed of Misha and complained about the cold - he was completely without clothes. I tell her: “Are any of his clothes left?” - "Yes, sure". - “Give it to your Mishin friends, they’ll probably find it useful.”

A few days later she tells me that she again saw Misha in a dream: he was dressed in exactly the clothes that were given to his friends. He thanked him, but now complained of hunger. I advised to organize a memorial meal for the village children—Misha’s friends and acquaintances. No matter how difficult it is in difficult times, what can you do for your beloved son! And the woman treated the children as best she could.

She came for the third time. She thanked me very much: “Misha said in a dream that now he is warm and nourished, but my prayers are not enough.” I taught her prayers and advised her not to leave acts of mercy for the future. She became a zealous parishioner, always ready to respond to requests for help, and to the best of her ability she helped orphans, the poor and the poor.”

After physical death a person remains in the memory of relatives and close people. Therefore, on the day of his death, they gather to remember him together. At the same time, there are certain rules that have become traditions. This is uttering heartfelt words, reading poems and prayers. This will be discussed in the article.

About some traditions of commemoration

• Commemoration (or commemoration) is a series of ritual actions to maintain the memory of the dead. Mainly by organization memorial days relatives are involved. If there are no such people left, then friends or other close people.
• Usually, funeral traditions are based on certain beliefs - paganism, Islam, Hinduism. Therefore different nations they are different. For Russians, the rules of remembrance are closely related to the Christian faith. Sometimes rituals taken from different religious movements and local customs are mixed. Often, certain rituals are created on this basis.
• In the Russian Christian tradition there are a number of basic rules, deviations from which rarely occur. For example, funeral and other prayers are read in church only if the deceased was baptized according to Orthodox rite. And also in churches they do not pray for those who independently committed suicide or preached heretical beliefs.

Memorial dates

• Orthodox Christians hold a wake immediately after the funeral.
• IN soon after death, the deceased are remembered three times: the first time - on the third day after death; the second time - on the ninth; the third time - on the fortieth.
• Subsequently, a wake is held every year on the day of death.

Funeral service after the funeral and on the year of death

The meaning of memorial days

Commemoration on each of these days has its own special meaning associated with the events Christian history.

The third day

The funeral meal on the third day is celebrated in connection with with the ascension of Jesus Christ into heaven on the third day after his crucifixion. Resurrection from the dead and transition to eternal life is the basic doctrine of Christian teaching. According to church tradition, after death human soul"wanders" before higher powers it will be determined where she will go before the Last Judgment - to heaven or to hell. For the first three days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, visiting the places of his life in the bodily shell and the people with whom the person was connected.

Ninth day

On the ninth day, the wake is celebrated as a celebration of the angels who ask God for mercy on the soul of the deceased. At this time, the soul of a deceased person flies around the heavenly abodes, getting acquainted with the forms of other life. On the ninth day, the closest relatives are invited to the funeral. A photograph of the deceased is placed near the table at which they dine. A glass filled with vodka is placed next to it, and a piece of bread is placed on it. It should be noted that the custom of placing a glass has its roots in pagan beliefs. For true Christians it is unacceptable.

Fortieth day

After nine days, the soul is presented with pictures of the torment of sinners serving their posthumous punishment in hell. This continues until the fortieth day. On this day, the Almighty finally determines where the soul of the deceased will be sent. Everyone is invited to the wake on the fortieth day, as well as those who were absent from the funeral.

How to conduct a memorial on the anniversary of death

Here are some rules observed at funerals on the anniversary of death.

What do they order in church on the anniversary of death?

According to Christian teaching, reading prayers for the souls of the departed is the duty of the living. Thanks to this, the lot of sinners is made easier. It is precisely to raise petitions to the Almighty for the forgiveness of the sins of the dead that the reading of funeral prayers in church is aimed. You can order a memorial service not only on the anniversary of death, but also on other days.

In churches there are special types of services for such prayers:

1. Commemoration of the deceased during the Divine - the main Christian service.
2. Funeral services.
3. Lithium.
4. Reading the Psalter.

How they are remembered during the Liturgy

This type of commemoration is the most significant. The names of the dead are mentioned:

One of the outstanding experts on church charter Saint Athanasius (in the world - Sakharov) notes that the reading of funeral prayers during the proskomedia and after the consecration of the holy gifts is the most important. He says that such prayers, although unspoken, cannot be compared in their strength and effectiveness with any other prayers or even deeds in memory of the departed.

Memorial service

Translated from Greek language literally a memorial service means night service . This name is used for prayer for the dead due to the fact that its structure is similar to one of the parts of the all-night vigil. And also because ancient Christians performed services at night. This was a forced phenomenon, since they were subjected to constant persecution. A memorial service is one of the most common services ordered to remember deceased relatives on the anniversary of death. In addition to the church, funeral services are performed both at home and at the grave. You can pray on it for one or several dead people.

Lithium

The everlasting psalter

• This prayer is read continuously for several days. Usually it is ordered in monasteries, where the monks read it while sitting, replacing each other. The Psalter is a collection of ancient psalms written primarily by the biblical King David. They have great power and are considered a great mercy for departed souls. After reading the Indestructible Psalter, sinful souls are purified, defeat demons and rise from the flames of hell.
• Since ancient times, the Indestructible Psalter, like other prayers, has been read at funerals of relatives and at home. To do this, there are a number of rules that must be followed. In order for prayers to have an effect, the rules must be followed with great precision. The relatives agree in advance on the order in which they will read the Unsleeping Psalter.

How to properly order a memorial in church

Rules for reading prayers at home on the anniversary of death

The rules for reading the psalter on the anniversary of death look like this.

1. Having united in a group, relatives read the Indestructible Psalter in its entirety over the course of one day.
2. Arriving at their home, each of them reads one of the twenty parts of the psalter, called kathisma (which means sitting), mentioning everyone who also participates in the ritual. This creates a feeling of unity among all those praying at this time for the soul of the deceased.
3. The next day, the reading option is repeated by each relative at home, but with the reading of a different part of the psalter.
4. In total, prayers must be repeated at least forty times.

In conclusion, it must be said that before starting the wake at the table, you need to select appropriate words for the anniversary of death so as not to offend relatives and the memory of the deceased. Sometimes those gathered read memorial poems on the anniversary of death. It is better if they contain warm feelings towards the deceased, and not just express the bitterness of loss.