Explanatory Yuri.
I was late for work because of my healthy lifestyle! I went to work early, but due to my lack of cigarettes, I was hit hard with a tambourine. I went to the first aid station, but it was closed. Then I bought a bottle of vodka and began to wash the wound. That’s why I smell like alcohol, my face is broken, and my poor speech and poor coordination are the result of a concussion! I didn't drink, honestly.
Explanatory chief accountant.
I was three hours late because in the morning I had a dream that the balance had finally come together. The consequence of this was a series of powerful uncontrollable orgasms. Please get into the situation.
Explanatory Michael.
I admit that I was 6 hours late for work because yesterday I was late tasting the new line of products from the Crystal plant. In the morning, from 8-00 to 14-00, I remembered where I work, until my mother came and told me.
I can assure you that this will not happen again in the future, because... I wisely scribbled my work address and taxi phone number on the refrigerator door.
Explanatory Sergei.
I was half an hour late for work because I won’t do anything before ten anyway, we drink tea in the morning, but I can’t fit in so much.
Explanatory Anna.
I am systematically late, because I believe that everything related to work needs to be approached systematically.
Explanatory Deniski.
I was not late, but adjusted my today’s working day adequately to the inadequate yesterday and inversely proportional to the normal one.
Explanatory Pavel.
On September 8, 2006, I was late for work because, before taking my child to kindergarten, he had an urge at the most inopportune time for the most inopportune need. The time of delay corresponds to the duration of that same physiological process. This case can be classified as force majeure, i.e. force majeure, since they do not depend on my desire to be on time for work.
Explanatory Victor.
I'm late because you haven't paid your wages on time for months! If you are indignant, I will quit altogether!
Explanatory note by Yuri Yuryevich.
I was late for service. The reasons for this unseemly act are very mysterious and are rooted rather in the realm of the irrational, therefore I am unable to give any acceptable explanation for what happened. As a person of fine mental organization, I cannot help but feel the full depth of my fall, but the same reason will hardly allow me to even think about a possible relapse in the future.
I suggest:
1. Consider what happened as a misunderstanding,
2. Treat me condescendingly, especially since I have already received my share of mental torment (see above).
Explanatory beginner.
I am a newbie, working at your company for the second day. Since today is Monday, a hard day after the weekend, I took the subway and arrived at my old job. And only from the surprised look of my former director did I understand that I had come to the wrong place.
Explanatory Sergo.
I was late because... I drank very, very hot tea, my bladder burst and I scalded my feet.
Explanatory note from the loader
Yesterday my wife was fired from work for drinking! And this is after 10 years of my life spent on this work. We decided to celebrate this. And today I was caught at the factory entrance. That's why I was late.
Explanatory note from the senior warrant officer.
I, guard senior senior warrant officer of special forces Matveev, can explain the following regarding being late for duty. As always, I woke up at 5.30, ran a 10-kilometer cross-country race, did 200 push-ups, 100 pull-ups, and then took an ice-cold shower. Then he had breakfast, cleaned his boots, ironed his camouflage, put it on, put on his unloading gear, equipped it with clips, grenades, took a pistol, a machine gun, put on a helmet, put on war paint, put on gloves, before leaving he looked in the mirror and shit himself with fear.
Explanatory programmer.
In the morning, as usual, I got dressed and got ready to leave the house. I stepped over the bed and got caught on a girl, and in order to unhook I had to undress again. This procedure took some time, as a result of which I was late for work.
Explanatory note from an FSB officer.
On the morning of August 8, 2006, I was late for work because I got stuck in a traffic jam on the subway.
Explanatory note from the system administrator.
I was late for work because I slept on the job and saw how Microsoft went bankrupt. I couldn't help but watch it.
Writing an explanatory note is just a formality. After all, the late employee had already received his share of mental torment - while he was hastily getting ready at home and rushing to catch the bus or metro, inventing an excuse for himself as he went. But formality must be observed. HR managers assure that it is best not to invent anything and tell the truth in the note. However, it seems to us that a bit of humor in the explanatory note can soften the blow of the boss’s punishing right hand raised over the head of the unfortunate employee.
27 funniest explanatory notes
1. Explanatory chief accountant
I was three hours late, because in the morning I had a dream that the balance had finally come together. The consequence of this was a series of powerful uncontrollable orgasms. Please get into the situation.
2. Explanatory Yuri
I was late for work because of my healthy lifestyle! I went to work early, but due to my lack of cigarettes, I was hit hard with a tambourine. I went to the first aid station, but it was closed. Then I bought a bottle of vodka and began to wash the wound. That’s why I smell like alcohol, my face is broken, and my poor speech and poor coordination are the result of a concussion! I didn't drink, honestly.
3. Explanatory Michael
I admit that I was six hours late for work because yesterday I was late tasting a new line of products from the Kristall plant. In the morning, from 8.00 to 14.00, I remembered where I worked, until my mother came and told me. I can assure you that this will not happen again in the future, because... I wisely scribbled my work address and taxi phone number on the refrigerator door.
4. Explanatory note for constantly being late
I'm late for several reasons. I drive a car - the road is unpredictable, and I consider risking my life for ten minutes of working time to be the height of idiocy. Because (see point 2.) I don’t smoke, and this means that, unlike 90% of office employees, instead of taking five smoke breaks for ten minutes, or rather, 50 minutes a day, while the rest are kicking I'm crazy, I'm at my workplace and working!
Further (see point 3), since I am a responsible person, at least twice a month I have to sit at work until 23.00 (then the office closes) and work! Because those who smoke 50 minutes a day accumulate 16 hours in a month and, not coping with their work, let me down. Thus, 16 hours of smoking breaks + 8 hours of overtime = 24 hours per month I work more than anyone else in our office, and I am late by a maximum of two hours per month.
If management does not see any economic benefit in my tardiness, they may fire me and find another, more punctual employee. I wish that he was a smoker and, coming to work on time, “stole” two working days from you every month.
5. Explanatory note for the lost
I arrived today, August 24 of this year, at my workplace at 9.23 due to objective reasons. While spending the night with an unfamiliar girl in Altufyevo (I think), I got up early. But, leaving the entrance, I found myself in a heavy fog. Because of this, I lost orientation in space and time. I got lost for a long time and found the entrance to the entrance again. Concerned for his own safety, he decided not to leave the house until the fog had completely dissipated.
At 8.40 o'clock, sensing something was wrong, I tried to leave the entrance again and discovered that the fog had treacherously transformed into strong smog. Realizing that I was already very late for work, and sincerely worried about the advancement of the Cognos direction entrusted to me by you, I made a courageous decision to make my way to the metro.
Based on the above, I sincerely believe that for the heroism and resourcefulness shown in difficult weather conditions, I deserve not punishment, but encouragement in the form of time off, to restore psychological balance after experiencing severe stress, as well as for the purpose of getting to know someone I don’t know yet more closely. essentially a girl.
6. Explanatory note by Sergei
I was half an hour late for work because I won’t do anything before ten anyway, we drink tea in the morning, but I can’t fit in so much.
7. Explanatory Anna
I am systematically late, because I believe that everything related to work needs to be approached systematically.
8. Explanatory Deniska
I was not late, but adjusted my today’s working day adequately to the inadequate yesterday and inversely proportional to the normal one.
9. Pavel’s Explanatory Note
On September 8, 2006, I was late for work because, before taking my child to kindergarten, he had an urge at the most inopportune time for the most inopportune need. The time of delay corresponds to the duration of that same physiological process. This case can be classified as force majeure, i.e. – force majeure, since they do not depend on my desire to be on time for work.
10. Explanatory Alexey
I was two hours late for work because... in a dream I dreamed that I woke up, washed my face, drank a cup of tea as usual, went to the parking lot, warmed up the car and arrived at the office at 8.30 for a planning meeting. You, your deputy, me and the chief accountant were present at the planning meeting. From my dream, I clearly remember that you came in a gray sweater, you smelled of garlic and fumes, and therefore your deputy, who was sitting closest to you, winced, held his breath and turned his head to the sides.
You raised the issue that the deadline for submitting the budget was over and prepared to listen to my explanations. As usual, I noticed that the chief accountant did not provide me with a tax report, while she was scratching her leg in woolen tights, because, as it turned out later (in the same dream), she had not shaved her legs for more than a month. The deputy director was silent for the most part and sighed a lot.
I quietly moved my chair closer to the exit, and the chief accountant, noticing my movements, began to scratch my leg more energetically. You continued to list the pressing problems of our organization and issue instructions and instructions. At the same time, the air in the office was filled with a persistent, disgusting smell from your mouth.
As my friend, who was sleeping next to me, later told me, at approximately that moment I was tossing and turning violently in my sleep and uttering not very intelligible obscene language. By the time the planning meeting ended, the secretary looked into the office, but after taking a breath, for some reason she forgot why she came, apologized and left, closing the door.
At that moment, my friend, who, as I already emphasized, was sleeping nearby at that moment, heard a loud cry: “Don’t close it!” When the planning meeting ended, the chief accountant and I rushed outside to have a smoke, and as usual, you asked your deputy to “start the Internet,” and he, red with excitement, stayed and looked after us with sad eyes.
As we were going down the stairs to the street, I tripped. At that moment my awakening came. I completely deny my guilt regarding being late, because... firstly, I consider my sleep as honestly worked time, and secondly, all your instructions from my sleep will be completed by the end of the week.
11. Victor’s explanation
I'm late because you haven't paid your wages on time for months! If you are indignant, I will quit altogether!
12. Explanatory speech of a wise man
Dear Director. Yesterday we sat for a long time with friends and thought about the meaning of life. We have come to a clear conclusion! There is definitely no point in showing up to work on time.
13. Explanatory note by Yuri Yuryevich
I suggest:
1. Consider what happened as a misunderstanding.
2. Treat me condescendingly, especially since I have already received my share of mental torment (see above).
14. Explanatory Alexandra
15. Explanatory note by Sergei
I, Sergey Ivanov, was late for work due to the fault of Mosgortrans. An emergency happened in the trolleybus in which I was traveling. The driver was apparently drunk and his horns fell off. For a long time he did not admit that his horns had fallen, and said that we would go now. And since he was drunk, he could not lift them. Then he finally admitted that the horns had fallen, but a lot of time had passed. Then I walked three stops to work, since there were no trolleybuses.
16. Explanatory Nikita
Yesterday, Monday, I was unable to get to my duty station due to fluctuations in the Earth’s gravitational field: despite all the efforts made, I was unable to bring myself to a vertical position.
17. Explanatory beginner
I (full name) was three hours late for work because I didn’t have money for the tram, and I got lost and couldn’t find your street. I didn’t come in work clothes, since I don’t have anything else, but I’ll have one soon!
18. Explanatory note by Alexander Borisovich
I woke up in the morning, went to brush my teeth and accidentally squeezed out the entire tube of toothpaste. While I was putting the paste back in, I didn’t notice how time flew by. I promise to use tooth powder in the future.
19. Explanatory Sergo
I was late because... I drank very, very hot tea, my bladder burst and I scalded my feet.
20. Explanatory note from the loader
Yesterday my wife was fired from work for drinking! And this is after ten years of my life spent on this work. We decided to celebrate this. And today I was caught at the factory entrance. That's why I was late.
21. Explanatory note of the senior warrant officer
I, guard senior warrant officer of special forces Matveev, can explain the following regarding being late for duty. As always, I woke up at 5.30, ran a ten-kilometer cross-country race, did 200 push-ups, 100 pull-ups, and then took an ice-cold shower. Then he had breakfast, cleaned his boots, ironed his camouflage, put it on, put on his unloading gear, equipped it with clips, grenades, took a pistol, a machine gun, put on a helmet, applied war paint to his face, put on gloves, looked in the mirror before leaving... and shit himself!
22. Explanatory note from an FSB officer
23. Explanatory Andryukha
I was 4 hours late for work because in the morning I helped a neighbor take a bottle of vodka from her husband. And then at Kirochnaya they forced me to answer questions for some kind of marketing research for an hour and a half. After these words, Zhorik opened his vest and with the words: “Andryukha, this is for you,” he gave me a half-empty bottle of vodka. And to the question: “Where is the rest?” - answered: “And we pulled it out of our throats.”
24. Explanatory Georges
Explanatory note... I was half an hour late for work because I won’t do anything before ten anyway, we drink tea in the morning, but I can’t fit in so much.
I was late for work because before taking my child to kindergarten, he had an urge at the most inopportune time for the most inopportune need. The time of delay corresponds to the duration of that same physiological process. This case can be classified as force majeure, i.e. “Force majeure”, since they do not depend on my desire to be on time for work.
I'm late because you haven't paid your wages on time for months! If you are indignant, I will quit altogether!
Explanatory beginner's
I am a newbie, working at your company for the second day. Since today is Monday, a hard day after the weekend, I took the subway and arrived at my old job. And only from the surprised look of my former director did I understand that I had come to the wrong place.
I was late because... I drank very, very hot tea, my bladder burst and I scalded my feet.
Today, on such and such a date, Friday, I was 5 hours late for work because I thought it was Saturday.
Explanatory principle
I'm late because I'm always late.
Explanatory note by Alexander Borisovich
I woke up in the morning, went to brush my teeth, and accidentally squeezed out the entire tube of toothpaste. While I was putting the paste back in, I didn’t notice how time flew by. I promise to use tooth powder in the future.
Sincerely, Usenko Alexander Borisovich
Explanatory
I was late for work on purpose. I wanted to see how it would end.
I was three hours late because... after yesterday's corporate holiday, in your honor, by the way, I came to my senses on a bench in a park in Tver.
How I got there, I don’t know.
Waking up in the morning, I heard a song on the radio with the words: “Ay, bells, bells, doo-do, and I won’t go to work today.” That’s how it all happened. From now on, I promise not to listen to radio “Chanson” and come to work on time.
Secretary's explanatory note
Today, September 10, I was late for work because I couldn’t get out of the car on Volgogradsky Prospekt, I had to go to the final station, while on the way back the traffic jam cleared.
Explanatory note by Igor Vladimirovich
I was late for work on May 6, 2005. The delay occurred due to the fact that, due to my psychosomatic anomalies, since approximately 1995, I have been systematically communicating with demons.
Explanatory note by Alexander Yuryevich
I was late for work due to my wife's fault. In the morning, at the appointed time, the alarm clock rang, which woke up my wife. She doesn't like my alarm clock, so she threw it away and hit me in the head, which made me unconscious for another couple of hours.
Explanatory)))
At least once in our lives, each of us had to write an explanatory note; I came across several creative
Explanatory chief accountant
I was three hours late because in the morning I had a dream that the balance had finally come together. The consequence of this was a series of powerful uncontrollable orgasms. Please get into the situation.
Explanatory note for constantly being late
I'm late for several reasons. I travel by car - the road is unpredictable and I consider risking my life for 10 minutes of working time the height of idiocy. Since see point 2 I don’t smoke, and this means that, unlike 90% of office employees, instead of taking 5 smoke breaks of 10 minutes each, or rather 50 minutes a day, while the rest are kicking the bullshit, I’m on my workplace and WORK! Further see point 3 Since I am a responsible person, at least 2 times a month I have to sit at work until 23-00 (then the office closes) and WORK! Because those who smoke 50 minutes a day accumulate 16 hours in a month and fail to cope with their work, let me down. Thus, 16 hours of smoking breaks + 8 hours of overtime = 24 hours a month I WORK more than anyone else in our office, and I’m late by a maximum of 2 hours a month. If management does not see any economic benefit in my tardiness, they may fire me and find another more punctual employee. I wish that he was a smoker and, by coming to work on time, he “stole” 2 working days from you every month.
Explanatory Yuri
I was late for work because of my healthy lifestyle! I went to work early, but due to my lack of cigarettes, I was hit hard with a tambourine. I went to the first aid station, but it was closed. Then I bought a bottle of vodka and began to wash the wound. That's why I smell like alcohol, my face is broken, and poor speech and poor coordination are the result of a concussion! I didn't drink, honestly.
Explanatory Michael
I admit that I was 6 hours late for work because yesterday I was late tasting the new line of products from the Crystal plant. In the morning, from 8-00 to 14-00, I remembered where I work, until my mother came and told me. I can assure you that this will not happen again in the future, because... I wisely scribbled my work address and taxi phone number on the refrigerator door.
Explanatory note by Sergei
I was half an hour late for work because I won’t do anything before ten anyway, we drink tea in the morning, but I can’t fit in so much.
Explanatory Anna
I am systematically late, because I believe that everything related to work needs to be approached systematically.
Explanatory Deniski
I was not late, but adjusted my today’s working day adequately to the inadequate yesterday and inversely proportional to the normal one.
Explanatory Pavel
On September 8, 2006, I was late for work because, before taking my child to kindergarten, he had an urge at the most inopportune time for the most inopportune need. The time of delay corresponds to the duration of that same physiological process. This case can be classified as force majeure, i.e. force majeure, since they do not depend on my desire to be on time for work.
Explanatory note from Victor
I'm late because you haven't paid your wages on time for months! If you are indignant, I will quit altogether!
Explanatory note by Yuri Yurievich
I was late for service. The reasons for this unseemly act are very mysterious and are rooted rather in the realm of the irrational, therefore I am unable to give any acceptable explanation for what happened. As a person of fine mental organization, I cannot help but feel the full depth of my fall, but the same reason will hardly allow me to even think about a possible relapse in the future.
32 Funny quotes from explanatory notes after an accident
1) I wanted to press the brake pedal, but I couldn’t find it.
2) Yes, I hit a pedestrian. But his guilt is confirmed by the fact that this has already happened to him.
3) It was not me who was to blame for the accident, but a young girl in a miniskirt walking along the sidewalk! If you are a man, this explanation is enough for you, but if you are a woman, you still won’t understand anything!
4) I saw that the pedestrian did not know which way to go, and I ran into him.
5) I was driving behind a car. Suddenly, both turn signals started blinking at once. I couldn’t figure out which way he was turning and crashed into him.
6) Your arguments are ridiculous. For such excuses, find someone stupider than me, although you are unlikely to find him.
7) I was driving in the right lane of Mira Avenue towards the center at a speed of about 40 km/h. Suddenly a child jumped out onto the road and I braked. The driver following me decided to take advantage of this and crashed into me.
8) The traffic cop ordered me to stop, and I drove into a pole.
9) Due to severe damage, my motorcycle, as well as me, had to be towed.
10) My son did not run over any woman. He drove past her. And the air flow caused her injuries.
11) My bicycle flew off the footpath, rammed a parked Porsche and moved on without me.
12) I was crossing the street. There was a car coming straight towards me from the left. I thought she would pass by and took a step back. But she turned on me again. When I noticed this, I took two steps forward. The driver did not react at all and continued to drive towards me. Then he shouted, “Stay still, you idiot!” I stood up, and then he ran into me.
13) Yesterday evening, returning home, I drove my car into a fence. I am reporting this only to cover the damage to the car, because... I managed to escape from the scene unnoticed.
14) According to my estimates, the damage ranges from 250 thousand to a quarter of a million euros.
15) At a crossroads I had a sudden attack of color blindness.
16) The participant in the accident crashed into me without first informing me of his intentions.
17) The accident occurred because the insured person’s moped drove into me with irresistible horsepower.
18) The pedestrian rushed at my car and silently disappeared under the wheels.
19) Even before I ran into him, it was clear to me that this old man would not reach the other side of the street.
20) A completely invisible car appeared out of nowhere, crashed into me and disappeared without a trace.
21) After four years of driving, I fell asleep at the wheel.
22) At that moment, when I wanted to kill the fly, I ran into a telegraph pole.
23) I saw the sad face of a pedestrian slowly floating past, and then he hit my windshield.
24) The injured horse crossed the road without making sure there were no obstacles!
25) The victim's car moved left, then right, then left again until I was finally able to crash into it.
26) I was driving backwards and therefore could not see how a car drove up in front and crashed into me from left and right.
27) The deer took his legs in his hands and disappeared into the bushes, not caring about his wounds.
28) A hare jumped out onto the road in a suicidal dash. He managed to commit suicide at the cost of my new bumper
29) The pedestrian was running along the road like crazy. I was forced to actively maneuver to run over him.
30) I was driving along the road. Suddenly a lot of cars appeared on the right and left. I didn't know which way to turn and crashed into cars in front and behind.
31) When entering a left turn, I skidded, I crashed into a vegetable stand (I was showered with a hail of flying bananas and oranges!), after which I demolished a mailbox standing on the side of the road, then I was thrown into oncoming traffic, I rammed two parked cars and fell down the side of the road. After that I unfortunately lost control of the car.
32) My fiancee showed the police officers working at the scene of the accident everything they could want to see.
Explanatory - funny, cheerful and cool March 10th, 2012
Writing explanatory notes is not only an opportunity to justify yourself, but often also a reason to laugh))
Sometimes we come across masterpieces - we are charged with humor and positivity!
Explanatory - funny, cheerful and cool
52 pieces
He showed a fig instead of a travel card because he had mixed up his pockets.
Yes, I loudly told an obscene joke on the tram. The policemen, by the way, also laughed.
I called my neighbor Elton John because he sings loudly in the evenings and prevents me from listening to my wife’s reproaches.
I did not drive a vehicle while intoxicated. It drove itself. So there is nothing to punish me for.
I was late for work because I slept on the job and saw how Microsoft went bankrupt. I couldn't help but watch it.
And I broke the mirror in the store because I saw my hooligan behavior from the outside, and I felt ashamed.
I didn’t put pressure on the victim, I just ran over his car a little with my roller...
jokes from explanatory notes
I didn’t run from the police, but walked at a brisk pace...
It started to rain and I didn't have an umbrella, so I took a fungus out of the sandbox and went with it. But children still don’t play in the rain.
I refuse to participate in the cleanup because I don’t have money for extended nails, hair and stilettos.
I am systematically late, because I believe that everything related to work needs to be approached systematically.
When I was standing at an intersection, I was fucked in the ass.
I was late for math class because I went to the toilet during recess and caught what I was using in my fly.
I didn't want to steal the video camera. It happened. It's nothing you can do. It can happen to anyone.
Loud music did not come from my apartment after 11 pm, but flowed smoothly and beautifully...
I threw rotten tomatoes because I didn't need them. And the fact that they hit a Mercedes car, registration number Y111YU, is Mercedes’ fault.
From the accountant's explanatory note: I was three hours late because in the morning I had a dream that the balance had finally come together. The consequence of this was a series of powerful uncontrollable orgasms. Please get into the situation.
I was not late, but adjusted my today’s working day adequately to the inadequate yesterday and inversely proportional to the normal one.
funny explanatory
Cockroaches live in my head, not brains, so I have nothing to do in my studies, because you don’t know how to teach cockroaches.
Yesterday I varnished the floors in my apartment. In the morning, the cat stuck to them while I was tearing off my legs. While I was tearing the cat off, a neighbor came into the apartment and stuck to it. While I fucked my neighbor, I was late.
Yes, I put a bag of trash on the landing because I've been doing this for five years now. But the neighbor, who had recently moved, simply didn’t know this and started smelling...
I didn’t get minors drunk at all, but on the contrary, I always poured more for myself.
Explanatory note from the biker: I didn’t pay for my motorcycle on the tram as luggage, because it’s not luggage at all, but a motorcycle. And I had to send the conductor away because she grazed next to me all fifteen stops and spoiled my nerve cells. In my place there could be any motorcyclist who is about to run out of gas. In addition, I turned off my motorcycle in the tram. This is a plus for me.
The police themselves gave me fourteen winter tires and five concrete blocks that were found at my house in order to close the “hangings,” but I myself don’t know what to do with them.
I was the only one in the nightclub who behaved appropriately. And he invited the security guard to slow dance because it was fashionable and appropriate.
We approached citizen V. and asked for a cigarette, to which he replied that he knew karate. Upset that we were not allowed to smoke, we began to cry and, wiping our tears, accidentally touched citizen V. in the face. At the same time, citizen V. himself gave us money so that we could wipe our tears with it.
a selection of funny explanatory notes
I jumped off the bridge due to the senselessness of life at that moment. I undertake to pay 110 thousand rubles in compensation for 2 hours of work of the boat and rescuers in full, for which I am very grateful, because now I have something to live for for two years.
As I pulled down the swimming trunks of the swimmers in the pool, I wanted their bodies to breathe.
At an intersection I had a sudden attack of color blindness.
In the morning I went out to the training ground and began working out on the horizontal bar. When I was spinning the sun, my hands slipped and I flew over the fence of the military unit. When I fell, I hit my face hard on the asphalt. Passers-by decided to revive me by pouring cognac into my mouth. So I ended up outside the military base with blue marks on my face and the smell of alcohol on my breath.
Knowing about my bad character from drinking, I decided to fight early, right after the toast to my parents, so as not to overshadow the further course of the wedding for the young people.
I didn’t look into the window of the women’s bathhouse, because in my boiler room there is a specially equipped peephole into the women’s washing compartment, installed without my knowledge by someone unknown.
I spat on the seller’s glasses because I felt sorry for him, and I decided not to break his glasses, but simply spit at them. I broke his glasses because he didn’t appreciate my kindness and started screaming.
I threw my loan payments in the face of the cashier Sidorova so that she would choke! And she choked...
humor and positivity in explanatory notes
When I saw the “No Smoking!” sign, I immediately put out my cigarette butt on it. Who knew that it was made of flammable plastic.
I was kicked out of chemistry class for revealing obvious facts. I told the teacher that the old woman was crazy and stupid, but for some reason she was offended and kicked me out of the office.
I didn’t kill the fish, but rather threw dynamite into the lake to put out the wick that accidentally caught fire. And the huge amount of fish in my boat comes from the Groceries store. And the check for the fish was lost.
To prove to the merchandiser at the Sapozhok store, A. Naboiko, that I was handing over the boots because their tops were too wide, I had to put them on her head and fasten the zipper. I can also state in my defense that I did not zip up the zipper all the way so that merchandiser A. Naboiko could breathe.
Explanatory plumbing: I tore out the toilet in Citizen Sidorova’s apartment not by the roots, but with screws, because toilets never have roots.
A hare jumped out onto the road in a suicidal dash. He managed to commit suicide at the cost of my new bumper.
This is not the first time in my presence that people have killed themselves, and once they even jumped out of the window. Some bad luck...
I have several versions of what happened, but the explanatory format does not allow me to give them in full. I’ll limit myself to a simple one: I didn’t do it, I don’t know why I was detained.
incredible, amazing and amazing explanatory
I was late for work because of my healthy lifestyle! I went to work early, but due to my lack of cigarettes, I was hit hard with a tambourine. I went to the first aid station, but it was closed. Then I bought a bottle of vodka and began to wash the wound. That's why I smell like alcohol, my face is broken, and poor speech and poor coordination are the result of a concussion! I didn't drink, honestly.
I admit that I was 6 hours late for work because yesterday I was late tasting the new line of products from the Crystal plant. In the morning, from 8-00 to 14-00, I remembered where I work, until my mother came and told me. I can assure you that this will not happen again in the future, because... I wisely scribbled my work address and taxi phone number on the refrigerator door.
While soaping the rope, I wanted to show my mother-in-law the advantages of laundry soap over current washing powders.
I didn't go to work because I had the flu...
The neighbor's chicken was dirty, so I decided to wash it. I set the water to heat and accidentally forgot about the chicken in the pan. I demand that the neighbor from now on bathe her chickens herself, and not run to the police.
I didn’t say that the uninvited guest was worse than Abdulla Figadullin, I just didn’t know that he was a Tatar and not a Pole. By the way, the Poles are also shabby guests, which is what I told the district police officer Kobelevsky.
I, guard senior senior warrant officer of special forces Matveev, can explain the following regarding being late for duty. As always, I woke up at 5.30, ran a 10-kilometer cross-country race, did 200 push-ups, 100 pull-ups, and then took an ice-cold shower. Then he had breakfast, cleaned his boots, ironed his camouflage, put it on, put on his unloading gear, equipped it with clips, grenades, took a pistol, a machine gun, put on a helmet, put on war paint, put on gloves, looked in the mirror before leaving... and shit himself!
Explanatory Chuck Norris)): I accidentally overturned five cars parked near my entrance when I was returning home with a trash can in complete darkness (the yard is not illuminated by anything at all). I set fire to a Peugeot 306 belonging to citizen Krutykh specifically to see what I tripped over...
I have absolutely nothing to add to what Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy said in “War and Peace” on pages 34, 36 and 328.
Have a positive weekend!
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