Love is full of contradictions and disagreements. Very often you can hear that opposites attract, and yet we base love on certain compatible things. We are looking for some kind of nourishment in relationships, which is born on the basis of joint “love stories” and romantic dramas.
But for some of us, love arises in completely different life circumstances. Sometimes we fall in love “not because of it, but in spite of it.” More often than not, this is not a love story from social networks or an affair with a work colleague; it is not uncommon that this love is initially perceived as taboo. For example, this could be a neighbor's husband or a university professor.
Does age matter in a relationship? A big question that many people ask. And it arises when the initial stage of infatuation has passed. In the union of an elderly man and a young woman, as in other matters and vice versa, an additional question of morality arises, which, as a rule, also arises among young parents, complicating the relationship even more. However, if a love relationship with a large age difference develops into a family relationship, then the age barrier disappears.
The age of love is not a barrier
All the time we try to plan our life down to the smallest detail. There are those who even plan when they get married. Fortunately, we still leave a chance for love to come at an unexpected moment. We allow our emotions to take over us and rush with them to where they take us.
Therefore, when the relationship of two people with a large age difference falls into a love whirlpool, they develop. And if a love affair subsequently results in common hobbies and interests, these relationships continue to develop. The opportunity to gain understanding and a new perspective on relationships becomes much more important than the usual arithmetic that calculates the age difference.
Emotional component
Unfortunately, the beauty that is characteristic of a person in youth is a very fragile and not durable thing, and those who have a large age gap in a relationship recognize this truth like no one else. It is this reason that encourages lovers to look for common points of contact that will prevail over physical attraction.
Special trainings, individual communication schemes or a simple heart-to-heart conversation can help most young couples. But the psychology of relationships between those with a significant age difference is sometimes, in order to simply express your point of view, it is important to maintain delicacy in order to prevent confrontation.
Moreover, all couples go through this stage, regardless of how much or little time was spent on courtship. And this is only the first stage of creating an emotional connection. Young couples need a short period of time to move from physical intimacy to spiritual intimacy. The psychology of relationships in which there is a significant age difference differs in that both the emotional and physical aspects of their relationship have to be worked on simultaneously.
The age difference requires connecting the emotional aspect almost immediately, since they can only move on if they are on the same emotional level. It is important for them to realize that their partner, with whom there is a significant age difference, was nearby both in moments of happiness and during difficult moments.
Age is important when setting life priorities
Age is an important factor in relationships also because people’s life goals are different at different times. A young partner may not want to burden himself with obligations and have, for example, children. While the older one, on the contrary, wants to calm down and start a large family. Another significant difference may be the desire to realize oneself in a career.
All these distinctive points need to be known and understood; only when a couple begins to follow the same path, their age difference gradually ceases to affect the relationship. Lovers begin to see themselves as one and move towards their dreams together.
In a relationship with an older person, you will have to reconsider the concept of beauty, you must be prepared to listen to questions and preconceptions about age and achieving certain goals. But in reality, age is really a simple arithmetic number that means nothing other than the number of years spent on earth. Age matters in a relationship only when there is no love, but if there is love, everything else becomes unimportant.
does age matter in a relationship??? and got the best answer
Answer from 2 answers[guru]
Hello! Here is a selection of topics with answers to your question: is age important in a relationship???
Answer from Igor[guru]
No, it's not important! 🙂
After all, all ages are submissive to Love...! And that's golden glory! ! love does not look at age, race, nation, religion, etc. We are all the same people and everyone has the right to love and be loved... Well, people LOVE each other...!))) Well, God bless him - with this age!! ! Everyone can love, but age is NOT THE MAIN THING in LOVE, the main thing in love is feelings... !
Feelings that will become a SUPPORT, a reliable SUPPORT for relationships! When loving, we do not pay attention to the difference in age and can love a person who is 5, 10 or even more than 20 years older! After all, LOVE is a strong feeling that turns a blind eye to many things! :)) My opinion.
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Of course, this is just a general outline. And completely harmonious relationships are possible, because any marriage - regardless of the difference in years - depends only on the desire of the spouses to find a common language, on their desire for mutual understanding. If the aspirations and goals of the partners coincide, their relationship and subsequent marriage can be no less happy (or even more) than the marriage of peers. The main guarantee of a strong union is not the date of birth in the passport, but the psychological compatibility of the partners. And, of course, love. What would it be like without her? As K. D. Ushinsky wrote: “Without work, efficient, serious work, family happiness is nothing more than a romantic chimera.” Psychology.
Best wishes! :))
Answer from *summer*[expert]
As they say, all ages are submissive to love! Age is not the main thing, the most important thing is that there is love and no barriers! And 5 years is absolutely nonsense! GOOD LUCK!
Answer from Evgenia Nikulina[guru]
They say that all ages are submissive to love. but 5 and 4 years old, for me this is the maximum age difference. I heard that if the difference is greater (10 or more years), then little good can happen. one will walk around and cheat. another to wait, to suffer.
Answer from ~JEWEL~[guru]
4-5 years difference is generally ideal, I think. And the main thing is feelings.
Answer from HEAVEN[guru]
Net, glavnoe biologi4eskyi vozrast
Answer from User deleted[newbie]
It depends how old it is! If so 13 and 18... then I think. . this is not compatible! But on 18 and 23 it is possible!
Answer from tiger cub in the sun[guru]
important for children at school...
Answer from User deleted[master]
no.. I speak from my own experience - I’m 24, he’s 20 - and we’ve been living together for 3 years
Answer from Orxus[guru]
Love for all ages!
Answer from Alexandra[guru]
the best difference is 4 years. Tested on myself))
Answer from Star™[guru]
No, absolutely not important. 4-5 years is no difference at all. True, depending on what age. And who is scarier? What about you?
Answer from Yoania[active]
If interests and likes coincide, what age can we talk about?
Answer from Angelina Skorokhodova[guru]
no, of course not, well, I’m starting to understand that if a guy is younger, then there is still a difference, in terms of intelligence in terms of courtship))
Answer from Natalya Moroz[guru]
everything depends on your current age... if you are under 18 years old... and he’s older than you, I think the difference is of great importance.... I don’t think it will be interesting for him and something will come of it.... and when both are already over 20.. and they are mature, accomplished individuals.. . There shouldn’t be any problems with this if people really suit each other... and up to 20 every year sometimes makes a difference...
In a relationship, only one thing is important to me: a mutual feeling of love. Because only love matters, without it everything is meaningless.
It is very important that people, as Exupery wrote, look in one direction. If this exists, what difference does it make how old someone is? If people love each other, what difference does it make how old someone is? Who needs this? People met, the two of them feel good, so much so that they can no longer imagine how to live without each other. If this is a fact, then what does age have to do with it? Imagine: everything is fine, they fell in love, everyone is happy, as they say, life is blooming, and suddenly she looks at his passport: “Yes, you turn out to be 45!” Well, let's assume this, although I have never hidden my age. So it's all over now? Isn't it stupid?
I am a believer. And I know that people meet here for eternity. And if people met here and love each other, they will love there too. And this is stronger than anything in the world.
One priest thought about this this way. I read it on Instagram. He says: people sometimes wait their whole lives for five minutes of happiness. And they live for these five minutes. And even if we assume that we will live not 40-50 years together, but only 20, and then I will leave for another world. But we will live these years in love! And there will be children! In which my beloved will see me too. And this will be happiness for her. And we will still meet later - in another world. So why should we give up our happiness because of stupid prejudices? Moreover, there are a lot of living examples before our eyes.
I admit, I was among those who condemned Alla Pugacheva and Maxim Galkin. Honestly, it seemed like a perversion to me. When the wife is so much older than her husband. But they have a real family, children. And I see that they are happy! So what right do I have to condemn them? Who am i?
And who has the right to condemn Andron Konchalovsky for being 36 years older than Yulia Vysotskaya? They have a happy family and children.
Why do people think about what they have no control over and reject the main thing - love?
How do you know that the guy who is 3 years older than you will live longer than the one who is 40?
How do you know that this guy won't turn out to be a bastard and won't leave you in a month, leaving for someone else?
How do you know maybe this guy will suddenly get sick and die a year later?
How do you know what will happen to the one you preferred just because he is younger? Isn't it stupid?
You will say: but the girl doesn’t know what will happen to you later.
Right! That’s why I say: we shouldn’t reason and make decisions based on what is beyond our control, we should be guided by only one thing: whether there is love or not. And if it exists, then you cannot betray love or, more precisely, sell it for age, skin color, wealth, or what you present as the price of your love. Love has no price. She is the only thing for which people live on this earth. And that’s the only thing they can take with them there.
We have the right to happiness: we, whom God has appointed to be together forever. And we will meet one day, never to part.
Valeria Protasova
Reading time: 4 minutes
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According to statistics, the average age difference between partners is usually 3-5 years. But nowadays, few people are surprised by couples with a larger age difference. After all, it is not age that is important, but mutual understanding in the family. How does age affect relationships? What is the opinion of psychologists on this issue?
It is important to understand that any relationship is individual, and there are no accidents - the conditions for “unequal” relationships with a partner arise in our subconscious. But, regardless of prejudices, unchanged the components of a strong union are trust, mutual understanding and spiritual closeness .
Valeria Protasova
Psychologist with more than three years of practical experience in social psychology and pedagogy. Psychology is my life, my work, my hobby and way of life. I write what I know about. I believe that human relationships are important in all areas of our lives.
Share with your friends and rate the article:As a rule, a small age difference between lovers is the key to a future successful relationship. Common interests, coincidence of tastes, mutual understanding between partners - this is all that serves as the key to further rapprochement, the emergence and strengthening of feelings and the creation of a family. But what if the difference is more than 1-5 years? Is a future possible for such a couple?
Relationship problems with large age gaps
Society nowadays treats couples with age differences with understanding. Often there are difficulties with blending characters, mutual understanding, and other factors necessary for creating a stable relationship.
Difficulties arise as a result of:1. Lack of common interests. Most often, this situation arises if the couple belongs to different generations. They listen to different music, watch different films, and their favorite pastimes also differ. Such relationships arise, as a rule, due to the desire to show off, to prove to the whole world and to oneself that youth has not yet passed. But there are exceptions to every rule.
2. Different views on the development of relationships. Young people don’t often think about marriage, children, or buying real estate. Life is just beginning for them. The older partner wants stability and confidence in the future. This discrepancy can lead to conflicts. But if both lovers are ready to make concessions and put effort into the relationship, then they can create a strong family.
3. Due to aging problems. Over time, wrinkles appear, external attractiveness is lost, and problems with health and potency arise. And for a couple who wants to have a child, it may be difficult to get pregnant or carry it to term. In the case of late pregnancy, many complications can arise; after all, childbirth is a great stress for the body, and even with the current level of development of science, deaths are possible.
4. The need to make concessions. Either raise your level to the knowledge and understanding of the older partner, or accept the hobbies and interests of the younger partner.
5. Parents' attitude. Not every parent can accept this situation. Their anxiety may be caused by fears for the well-being of their beloved child and the preservation of his moral state in a normal manner. You should not rush to take offense at them for this or ignore their opinion. A confidential heart-to-heart conversation will help resolve this situation.
To come to mutual understanding, you need to look away from prejudices and build your own line of relationship. After all, all families are different, and they come to harmony in different ways.
Pros of dating with a large age difference.
A girl who wants to date an older man is looking for reliability, support and expects to see in him an already established person with his own foundations and moral principles who can take care of her. In this case, the man acts as a mentor and can help his lady with self-realization. In addition, an adult man is already well versed in female psychology and knows what a woman wants; he will not make stupid mistakes typical of youth.
You can rely on an adult man not only morally, you shouldn’t worry about your own insolvency next to him, because it won’t be difficult for him to treat him to dinner or lunch, or invite him to the theater or cinema.
In the opposite situation, a woman can count on a round of vivid impressions, because youth is full of spontaneous actions. Going on a trip, walking in the rain, seeing a sunrise or sunset together - all this will give you a taste for life.
Types of relationships
If a man is 10 years or more older, he is already an accomplished person, with certain views on life, who has taken steps up the career ladder, in which case he has the role of a leader, but not a dictator, otherwise such an alliance will not last long, since the girl will feel backed into a corner. Most often, frivolous girls or those who are deprived of fatherly care go into such relationships. In this way, they make up for the lack of attention from their father, which they did not receive in childhood.
If the lady is older than the man, then the young man may be considered a gigolo, but this is not necessarily true. A young man can choose such a union so that next to him there would be a strong, active woman who knows her worth and has certain experience. The woman partly realizes the maternal instinct or tries to show that youth has not yet passed.
According to statistics, the strongest families arise among people with an age difference of 3 to 6 years. This is the optimal union for two people equal in social and psychological development.
In the end, no matter what your real age, your psychological age may differ from it, so you should not pay attention to the numbers in your passport. After all, you can meet your soulmate anywhere and anytime, and age is unlikely to be so important.
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