Many people's pre-New Year's days are spoiled by shame - they got drunk and did all sorts of things at the New Year's corporate party. A slight shame, annoying, burning, or even unbearable. I won’t describe why people feel ashamed after a corporate party; I’ll rather focus on shame - one of the most important emotions. And on the paradoxical motives of such a pattern of behavior: wait for the New Year's drinking party with colleagues, purposefully get drunk on it, predictably go beyond various limits and boundaries, and then suffer from it. Perhaps such an analysis will ease the suffering of those who are now doing just that.
To make it easier to bear shame, it would be good to learn about the specific properties of this emotion. Shame is a painful experience of one’s own inconsistency - with social norms, the expectations of significant people, and requirements for oneself. Shame regulates our behavior - it tells us how to behave and how not to behave in order to maintain the respect of others and respect ourselves. Seems like a useful feature. But it has a downside - in a state of shame, a person feels naked, humiliated, and insignificant. This emotion causes regression into the most unpleasant states of childhood. Shame pushes us to learn to behave better, but it also plunges us into a helpless state in which it is difficult to learn anything.
It is advisable to protect yourself from shame so that it does not turn into depression. There are two types of defenses - primitive and highly developed. Primitive means suppression, denial, rationalization. They provide one-time relief from shame. But they don’t allow them to learn anything - after all, if you suppress shame, then there seems to be no need to learn. This means that shameful behavior will be repeated every time. High-level defenses include making sense of a shameful situation, recognizing your pain points, and finding ways to improve your behavior. To do this, you need to get up from the knees that shame has put you on - take an adult position. And live the emotion of shame as an adult. Below I will list some shame traps that make it difficult to comprehend the situation of post-holiday shame.
Trap1.
Feeling ashamed of your behavior in problematic circumstances, as if they were normal circumstances.
A corporate party is a problematic, not a normal situation. The very tradition of corporate parties is ambiguous and insidious. It seems like corporate parties should improve relationships between colleagues and strengthen cohesion. This is most often done with the help of alcohol, one of the most potent drugs. Moreover, we take this substance in such incredible doses as no other drug, with the exception of tobacco. And it’s quite difficult to lead intelligently in such problematic circumstances, so what.
Trap 2.
Feeling ashamed of undesirable behavior that was desired.
The point is not only the cunning of the organizers of corporate events. Many people go to these events with great pleasure and have a blast there. And even those who seem to despise corporate parties also go and have a blast. A corporate event is a situation of violation of social boundaries that is socially approved and desired by the participants. The reasons, in general, are obvious and banal. For a whole year we have carried a heavy burden - the burden of sociality, consciousness, rationality, appropriateness, decency. This means that a lot of things in ourselves were suppressed by this burden - emotionality, openness, spontaneity, desire for intimacy, as well as aggressiveness.
And now, finally, you can throw off this burden, and not at home with your loved ones, and not in the company of friends - with them this burden is lighter, and therefore the uniqueness of the situation is lower. And with colleagues - with people with whom we have dual relationships - formal and informal, social and interpersonal, at the same time. We see them almost more than our loved ones, and we experience a lot of emotions about them - both positive and negative. The situation when we can jointly throw off the burden of social obligations to each other is quite valuable and unique. At the same time, if you sharply and forcibly throw off the burden of consciousness and sociality, then a lot of the unconscious and asocial comes to light - we can open up to each other in a completely different way than we planned. Perhaps this is where this paradoxical combination of desirability and shame comes from.
Trap 3. Feeling ashamed of your behavior in a state of regression as if it were a normal state.
Many people are ashamed not because they drank, but because they behaved like drunks while drunk. Blame the effect, not the cause. Intoxication is the purposeful suppression of controlling mental functions. When we get drunk, we regress into a half-infantile, half-animal state, cutting off the upper floors of our personality. But we are ashamed precisely of our personality. Many people are most worried that their colleagues found out THIS about them, saw them from SUCH a side that it is not clear how to look them in the eye later. And your colleagues just saw you drunk - they saw your condition, not your personality. And the person is responsible for the fact that he made the decision and made the choice - to drink, and to turn himself off by it.
Trap 4. The actor/observer effect, or “this won’t happen to me.”
Most people, seeing a drunk, feel disgust and contempt. But when we ourselves start drinking, we expect that this will not happen to us. But most often this turns out to be an illusion. And it ends with disgust and self-contempt, but not during use, but after.
There is such a theory about alcoholism: a person drinks to fight alcohol - who will defeat whom. A rational way to deal with alcohol is not to drink. Irrational - get drunk and try to defeat him while intoxicated. That is, do not get drunk, do not lose control over your consciousness and behavior. It’s not for nothing that we have so much respect for people who can drink a lot and not get drunk. And here the same scenario develops as with gambling addiction, for example - in order to prove your worth, you need to continue playing until you win. And in the case of alcohol, drink until you prove to yourself that you can be stronger than alcohol.
At a certain stage of alcoholism, such an effect is possible, but not for long. However, I’m not talking about alcoholics - a corporate party is not a problem for them. I'm talking about those who abuse rarely, but accurately. It turns out that they also struggle with alcohol, but not every day, but from corporate party to corporate party. The principle is the same - in one-time corporate drunkenness there is the same element of denial of cause-and-effect relationships and psychophysiological patterns, as in alcoholism.
Trap 5 - egocentric.I behaved worse than everyone else - everyone condemned me and will despise me for the rest of my life.
This is a completely natural trap - it often seems to us that the focus of other people's attention is in the same place as our focus - on ourselves. Which is unlikely - most people are naturally self-focused. And even if you caused an outstanding disgrace, the conclusion will be very one-sided that that’s all you remember. And that you will definitely be condemned for it. Each person reacts differently. Often people, remembering the outrages that their colleagues committed, do not so much condemn them as rejoice that it was not them themselves. The problem is that when we are ashamed of something, we project our self-condemnation onto others, we project our inner parent onto them. And it’s unlikely that your colleagues are in such a hurry to take on the function of your parent - they have their own inner child.
Of course, a caveat is worth making here. There is behavior that will really be difficult for others to forget about - this is aggressive behavior, first of all. If you insulted someone, beat someone, or even worse, then in this case it is important to understand that shame is such a beneficial defense against a more responsible experience - guilt. Children who cannot answer for their behavior are ashamed. If we are talking about guilt, then it stimulates to a greater extent to take responsibility for one’s actions than shame. The most effective way to deal with guilt is to atone for it. Apologize, compensate for damage, bear due responsibility.
Trap 6. Shame blinds the eye.
The problem with shame is that it draws upon itself the entire mental resource - the experience is so strong. Shame impedes cognitive activity - the work of the mind. Shame makes you see the situation very one-sidedly - it is a very self-centered emotion. Sometimes it is inevitable to plunge into shame as a natural reaction to one’s imperfections, to live through this emotion. But it is not necessary to immerse yourself in it completely, headlong - you can remain critical if you understand that at this moment your perception and thinking are working distortedly - this is an objective reality.
But what conclusion can we draw? It turns out that at corporate events people purposefully regress - they plunge into semi-infantile states. But in these states there is a lot of not only bliss, but also shame. These are naturally related experiences, and trying to get the first without the second is not always realistic. Although it is very understandable - this is also so childish, the desire “for us to have everything, but not have anything for it.” With coming)
At New Year's corporate parties, few people sit quietly in the corner; most rock out as if this is the last time in their lives. And as soon as the level of fun reaches the level of alcohol consumed, not everyone is able to take responsibility for themselves. Such “heroes” wait with horror for the end of the January holidays, because at work they will have to look people in the eye.
Having gotten weird at a corporate party, the first thing our people do is run to relieve their souls on forums. Here are a few revelations (the authors' spelling and punctuation have been preserved):
I definitely organized something at the corporate party. The two employees I remember at this disco don’t look me in the eye at all. Maybe I persuaded them to cohabitate?
And I had sex with my boss in front of the whole team. Now I’m going to swing)
I had a blast at my husband’s corporate party. She organized fiery dances, picked up some young guy and started kissing him right in front of everyone, including her husband. True, it was a long time ago, five years ago, but they still remember it. And I forgave myself, I was ashamed at first, but then I calmed down.
When I have had enough to drink, I predict the future... The funny thing is that it comes true. And I don’t remember point-blank when I was sober.
And while I was drunk, I confessed to being gay. I had to quit my job, despite the fact that everything was fine with my orientation.
Our CEO invited his wife to a corporate event. And she, having drunk quite a bit, became jealous of one employee and threw a 3-liter jar of compote at her. She managed to dodge, and the can shattered against the wall. Then she (the wife) attacked her, tearing her hair right out of her skin. This is the first time I’ve seen something like this, hair flying off with bloody pieces.
When the January holidays end, the question becomes more pressing: how to go to work?
Journalist Ekaterina Kruglova recommends first of all understanding why exactly the feeling of shame arose. “If the body cannot cope with alcohol and sends it out, this is an unpleasant situation, but there is nothing to be ashamed of: with age, even the strongest stomach begins to give in. Explicit dance, filmed and posted on the Internet, has already become such a trivial phenomenon that it is hardly worth remembering about it for too long. The worst thing is if, under the influence of alcohol, an employee says a lot of unpleasant things to a colleague, or even to his boss - in this case, it may even lead to dismissal,” she notes.
If everything is not so scary, just pretend that nothing happened and ignore all discussions. “What happened at a corporate party should remain there, and unnecessarily focus attention on the fact that someone was overly relaxed or behaved extravagantly, a sign of bad upbringing and a violation of business ethics,” emphasizes Ekaterina Kruglova.
Practicing psychologist Ilya Shabshin assures that colleagues will really soon forget the events of the corporate party, and he recommends transforming the feeling of shame into a decision not to step on the same rake again.
“A few years ago, a client came to me who said that at a corporate party she drank and had sex with a colleague. She was worried that now everyone would say that she was, as they say now, a woman “with low social responsibility.” But nothing like that happened. After the holidays, everyone went to work and business life began,” adds Ilya Shabshin.
A similar example is given by Natalia Lazareva, a representative of the social network for travelers Enjourney.ru. “At one of my previous jobs, a colleague overindulged and behaved inappropriately. Yes, someone reminded her of this the next day, and there were even chuckles behind her back. But my attitude, like most of the employees, has not changed towards her, because she is a wonderful person,” she said.
When you come to work, try to reduce everything to a joke, if possible. For example, you can say with a smile: “Whoever is without sin can throw a stone at me” or: “It was impossible to become famous without explosive PR.” It all depends on what you've done. If you start a fight, then it’s not jokes that are needed, but apologies.
“Look people calmly in the eyes. In a couple of days, no one will remember your action. “Everyone thinks about his own person more than about others,” adds Natalia Lazareva. – If possible, take at least a couple of days off and leave. Abroad, along the Golden Ring, to a neighboring city - it doesn’t matter. Everyone knows that traveling is the best way to deal with stress. You will have time to come to your senses, and the employees at work will have stopped discussing this news by the time you leave.”
Well, really, draw your own conclusions.
The corporate fun is over, and it's worth considering: what if it jeopardized your reputation and job security in the new year?
What to do in this case and how to avoid negative consequences? Reputation technologist and PR specialist Anna Mirochnik tells the story.
A corporate party is not a vacation, but a part of work. This format allows management to look at employees from a different angle, unite the team and reduce the intensity of relationships in the team. Therefore, it is impossible to refuse to participate in the holiday without objective reasons: otherwise it will look like sabotage of management decisions.
If you are reading this article, most likely you did not sabotage the decision to unite the team, but on the contrary, you supported it too warmly. Now we need to reduce possible negative consequences.
The basics of anti-crisis response for those who distinguished themselves at a corporate event
Almost two thousand years ago, a Roman Stoic philosopher said a beautiful thing: “For Caesar, much is not permissible, because everything is permissible to him.” This fully reflects the downside of high social significance - the higher it is, the more noticeable your mistakes become to others.
Remember the incidents with politicians or stars. For example, the racist blackamoor brooch of the Princess of Kent. She wore the jewelry to a royal dinner, where Prince Harry's fiancée Meghan Markle (whose mother, by the way, is African-American) was present.
Ichef-1.bbci.co.uk / That same brooch
There was a scandal. The Guardian tabloid accused Michelle of Kent of racism and insulting the Markle family. For an ordinary manager, such a brooch would be just a decoration, and no matter where he put it on, no one would pay such attention to the accessory.
The higher you climb the social ladder, the less you can do openly. The more interesting you are as a person and the more contradictory the information received, the more happy they will be to discuss your mistake.
Keep in mind that people love negativity. And, the lower the cultural level of the team, the higher the likelihood of being judged by the public. If you made a mistake at a corporate event, there is no need to blame your colleagues for philistinism. Assess the situation and try to correct it. First of all, pay attention to the following criteria:
- Your level of importance is the easiest place to make a mistake. It seems to some that their importance is small - and they lose control over the situation, to others - that their life is interesting to more people than they actually are.
- To what extent does your case contradict the norms adopted in the company - for example, if the company de jure or de facto prohibits romantic relationships between employees, casual sex with a colleague could cost you your job.
- To what extent does your case contradict social norms - for example, a woman’s drunken behavior will not be forgiven as easily as a man’s. And a crying man will lose the respect of his colleagues for a long time (which would be easily forgiven for a woman).
- How much does the incident resonate with your image and established reputation in the team? If the first coquette of the office is caught red-handed, the public will throw up their hands and say “what else can you expect from her.” But if a modest woman distinguishes herself, they will remember this for a long time.
These moments are necessary to build a competent strategy of behavior. Thus, significance sets risks and room for maneuver. Social and public norms are the context, and your image is the set and type of available tools. Next, we will consider the most common negative situations that a woman may encounter during a corporate event.
What to do if you've had too much alcohol
Women's drunkenness in Belarus is treated more squeamishly than men's. Compare how different will be the attitude towards a male boss who comes in the morning rumpled and on fumes, and how such behavior of a female manager will be assessed. This must be accepted: the situation will remain the same in the coming years for a number of reasons.
Therefore, ladies should be careful with alcohol. The optimal norm for the evening for a woman is 2 glasses of champagne or wine. For those who are especially susceptible, I recommend giving up alcohol altogether.
cdn.eg.ru What to do if you still have too much alcohol?
- You got home yourself, drunk, but without doing anything. If all the participants in the corporate party were in the same condition, plus or minus, great: lie down and come to your senses.
- If you get drunk in the presence of teetotalers, in the morning pretend to be cheerful and vigorously active. Have a hearty breakfast to speed up the breakdown of alcohol products, increase the amount of water (this will speed up the removal of acetic acid, which causes the odor), buy fruit chewing gum (mint, on the contrary, will have the opposite effect). People need to understand that having fun doesn't interfere with your work and you remain business-like and focused in any situation.
- You got home on your own, but you vomited publicly. If a person is “offended”, write to him personally in the morning and offer to pay for the dry cleaning.
- You were solemnly carried home. If no more adventures happen during the delivery of the body, thank the savior in the morning. If your suit or car gets dirty, offer to pay and bring something nice (not a bottle) as an apology.
You don’t remember how you got home. If you distinguished yourself in some way, they will definitely tell you about it. If everything is quiet, in the morning we pretend to be busy and listen to what our colleagues are saying.
Worst thing you can do in the morning:
- Start writing to everyone to find out how the evening ended and who took you home.
- Take the position of “fighting drunkenness” and in the future sharply criticize everyone who drinks alcohol.
- Complain about a hangover and demand concessions because of it.
- Come to work if you “still have it” or during a severe hangover, when you are objectively losing your ability to work. Take time off at your own expense and don’t make the situation worse.
Casual sex
Now we will consider only options with the mutual consent of two adults. Here, from a reputation point of view, it is important how the company treats romantic relationships between employees. If it is officially or unofficially prohibited, you are risking your job, so the first step is to make sure that there is no evidence left to prove the connection.
Additionally, it is important to evaluate the consequences, which will be different depending on what position the man occupies in the team relative to you:
Boss
In case of publicity, he loses much more than you. Especially if he is married. Especially if you decide to quit and finally accuse him of harassment (and there are more and more such precedents in Belarus). The greater the risks, the greater the need for such a boss to maintain secrets. There are two most likely scenarios here: they will leave you as the favorite or in the morning they will begin to pretend that nothing happened. Agreeing to the role of a favorite is a priori a losing proposition, but the decision to close your eyes and move on with your life will be to your advantage.
Colleague, equal in influence and position
The safest option is if the man you come across is quiet and reliable.
Subordinate
There is a very high risk of losing objectivity in assessing his actions as an employee. If you don’t want to get your hands dirty by firing him, distance yourself as much as possible for a while. Once things calm down, it will be much easier to return to a working relationship.
livejournal.com Worst thing you can do:
- Start discussing what happened with one of your colleagues. Such juicy topics are always accompanied by additional details when transmitting information. And it will certainly be passed on, rest assured.
- Ignore the man's desire to discuss. Take the conversation offline, be respectful and correct. What happened is your responsibility, and you should not offend the person by refusing to talk. But, if you don’t plan to continue the relationship, one conversation on neutral territory away from the office will be more than enough.
- Discuss what happened in correspondence. Technical support services and some managers read the correspondence of their employees. And even if you think that this cannot happen in your friendly team, do not tempt fate. Anything can happen and you shouldn’t expose yourself too much.
I had a fight with my boss or one of my colleagues
It is important here how many witnesses there were during the conversation and what place you de facto occupy in the company.
The most painless option would be if you are an ordinary ordinary employee whom the boss does not know by sight. If you are not fired the next day, try to simply avoid getting noticed by your bosses in the near future (you should not apologize or offer to clarify the situation). In the future, make it a rule not to criticize your superiors in front of your colleagues: whiners and dissatisfied people get rid of first of all.
If your position requires frequent communication with your boss, apologize in person the next day. There is no need to sprinkle ashes on your head and conduct a dialogue in the spirit of “you are the best boss of the best company”: they still won’t believe you. Say that yes, there is dissatisfaction, but you regret the chosen intonation and wording. And be sure, when criticizing something in the company, offer options for solving the problem, showing that you are ready to participate and be useful. This will work if there were no witnesses to the scandal. If the conflict had witnesses, the situation becomes more complicated. There are a million options and scenarios that depend on your plans for working in the organization and personal relationships with your superiors and “spectators”.
If you get carried away in a conversation with a peer in the corporate hierarchy, an apology will suffice. Give a gift if you like. Say you'll be happy to continue the relationship and distance yourself. Don't push and don't crowd your friends.
The worst thing you can do in this situation is:
- Fawn, mumble and try to “adapt from below” to the person. This will not help straighten out relationships, but it will lower respect for you. It was in childhood that we could cry in front of our mother, she would feel sorry for us, and the conflict was considered settled. It doesn't work that way for adults.
- Starting to make excuses will further weaken your position. “The word is not a sparrow,” remember?
- Run after a person to give a gift or compensation. Learn to accept rejection and hear “no.”
- If the apology is not accepted, hunt the person to clarify the situation anyway.
- Blame it all on the effects of alcohol. In any case, your words remain yours, do not devalue yourself.
It’s rare that a person has not found himself in situations that are embarrassing to remember later. Anyone can stumble and break things, but because of this the earth does not stop rotating. Draw conclusions and in the future, stay away from people you still have to work with.
Yesterday there was a corporate party and I got terribly drunk and lost control of myself. In front of everyone, I openly hugged and kissed some of the employees, and I don’t remember exactly what happened, only in moments. I was openly groped. I’m terribly ashamed, I didn’t sleep all night because of this, I was tormented. The worst thing is that I don’t really remember, maybe I did something else..... I curse this day and now I’m afraid to go to work. My friends said that everything was very frank and I liked it. In short, she behaved like the last slut. Of course, everyone there was drunk, but I was the only one who had a blast. Help me, what should I do now? After all, you can’t return or fix anything... And I’ve always been a quiet and well-behaved good girl, no one expected this from me, and I didn’t expect this from myself either. There was another man there with whom I was in love and at the last corporate party we slept (we went to see him; at the corporate party I behaved decently then). Then we didn’t communicate for almost a whole year (I avoided him), and I kept hoping that this time we would also be able to get closer, but alas... And after that, he probably thought that I was some kind of f...d, and I This is even more depressing. Although, this is probably true, and I simply proved it to EVERYONE. Tell me, what should I do now, how to communicate with employees, how to forgive myself for what I have done? I'm just shocked by my behavior....
Dear A.! Probably, you are “real” when you reduce control, you just use alcohol for this, or you can... just be more relaxed, less tense (this is difficult if you are accustomed to keeping yourself in check throughout your life (but someone has taught You to this). You contradict yourself (you want one thing, you do so that it doesn’t happen), given an example with a man you like. And the subconscious directs you along the path that is close to you, but... we condemn. Maybe nothing like that it happened, girlfriends can... envy, because they themselves can’t do that! Calling yourself a “slut” and “b-y,” what meaning do you put into these words? If we consider the situation from the point of view of constellations (the method is psychological) - someone forgotten and despised from a family that is not talked about and condemned is “breaking through” to have its existence recognized... through you. It seems strange, but it may be so. Calm down first - yes, I, A., as I am and accept me, colleagues, as I am! If you want to look at your family, come. Happy New Year!
Good answer 4 Bad answer 0Hello, A. I agree with my colleague, as if when you drink alcohol, another A appears, who behaves in a way that is unacceptable for you, a good girl. You are ashamed of yourself, you call yourself all sorts of derogatory names. In my experience, this is not how sluts behave at all. It looks like you let go of your control a little and at that moment it gave you pleasure. It is impossible to cope with the “other” part of you and it will periodically “crawl” out. But you can reconcile these 2 parts with each other, then, perhaps, you will be less of a good girl every day, but there will be no such “breakdowns”. Sincerely, Anastasia Umanskaya.
Good answer 4 Bad answer 0 
Hello! It is quite possible that your behavior was due to the fact that you have an increased level of self-control (perhaps you have some personal boundaries beyond which you do not allow yourself to go - thus limiting yourself!) - and alcohol allows you to reduce self-control and Your consciousness has finally relaxed for all the restrictions that you impose on it! That is why you behaved this way (i.e. in real life you do not allow yourself to relax and do not allow yourself to behave more relaxed and more freely in an intimate way as well - that’s why you avoided further meetings!). To begin with, you should work specifically on your prohibitions (perhaps there are parental prohibitions here - working in the family system, negative experiences of the past are also possible) - You yourself should understand why you prohibit yourself so much. And then work on establishing interpersonal contacts. Now you are concerned about the question of how to behave at work - it is quite natural that you will not be comfortable, but you should not avoid everyone and thereby focus even more attention on yourself - this will depress you even more. Try to act as normal. However, in the future you should allow yourself more - sometimes do what you want (and not forbid yourself everything!)! If you want to work in person, write or call!
Good answer 3 Bad answer 0 
Sometimes something breaks through in us that we surprise ourselves. But this does not mean that what we have allowed into ourselves is ourselves. There is no point in giving up on yourself. However, we are responsible for what we let into ourselves. If there is a problem with self-control, it makes sense to work with a psychologist in person. Well, and your reputation... If everything is that bad, look for a new job. Moscow is a big city, we can start all over again
Good answer 0 Bad answer 2 
AND THIS IS ME! And with the look of a business sassy LADY, bring something new to your image! Well it was, so what now? Well, did you have fun? If you don't like me, you don't have to communicate with me... Good luck, and Happy New Year! With a new look!
Good answer 13 Bad answer 1 
It is clear that under the influence of alcohol, something that you do not recognize in yourself, that you hide, has manifested itself. And you admit it! What's wrong with that? Sexuality, liberation - this is exactly what men go crazy about. The only bad thing here was the intoxication. It's all about the dose. If you are not ashamed, but bring some of this into your usual behavior, then nothing indecent will happen when you are drunk. And then, waiting a whole year for a corporate party to talk to the man you like is stupid. Just stupidity. If he hasn’t explained himself to you for a whole year, then he doesn’t need you. Admit it and move on with your life, calmly and confidently.
Good answer 3 Bad answer 0You are not the only one. But what about those with whom you “openly hugged and kissed in front of everyone...” and who “... openly groped.” You have a lot in common. So ignore the bigots and work calmly. If there are any problems, please contact us.
Good answer 1 Bad answer 1You woke up in the morning after a New Year's corporate party and realized that yesterday it was hot. And there are a million questions in my head: “Why did you hang out on the boss’s table, what kind of person are you?”
One thing is clear: in the office you will be the most discussed and popular character. You probably won't want to go to work because of yesterday's exploits. In this situation, the main thing is to develop a strategy for behavior with colleagues. So, experienced psychotherapist Sergei Gorin and professional business coach and head of the Russian NLP center Mikhail Antonchik will tell you a couple of life hacks.
What not to do:
1. Never apologize for anything specific.
2. Do not ask your colleagues about small details of your behavior so as not to ask for forgiveness.
3. Never be embarrassed about anything.
4. Do not communicate with the group and do not refute the group opinion - only individual ones. For example, if ten people saw you dancing naked on a table, talk to each of them individually to refute what they allegedly saw.
5. Don’t go to work with your head down and looking guilty.
6. Don’t make excuses like, “This is my first time,” “I didn’t eat well,” “I had the flu on my legs, my body is weakened.”
7. Never say “I can’t drink...”.
8. Don’t lament to your colleagues: “How could I,” “don’t remind me of this,” “I don’t want to remember all this.”
Do this:
1. Walk as if nothing had happened. Pretend it's nothing such did not happen and all the events that occurred fit perfectly into the concept of the norm for such a context.
2. Be surprised by your colleagues: “You guys are kind of boring. Why do you drink if you don’t really know how to relax?”
3. Do your colleagues tell you about your adventures? Laugh, ask what else happened, praise yourself: “I’m cool! A sober person would never have come up with this. The alcohol was good yesterday!”
4. Make a joke: “Guys, you are so lawless, I don’t drink with you anymore. Wild people! But why they filmed incriminating evidence on me alone, I don’t know.”
5. Change your appearance. At least dress differently - not like yesterday. Change your hairstyle or hair color. For very fundamental interventions, for example, grow or shave a beard (mustache), shave your head. If yesterday you danced naked on the table, and today you came to work with your hair dyed crimson, then they will discuss your hair.
6. Know how to lie competently, otherwise you will have to use schemes: “No, it didn’t happen,” “It happened, but not what it seems.” That is, after the event, you can present for discussion either the version “I didn’t dance naked on the table, what nonsense!”, or “I went to dance only to divert the public’s attention from you, Ivan Ivanovich, you spilled the wine for yourself on a tie."
8. Ignore the event, remove it from discussions, from the information field. And change the agenda, let people talk about something else.
9. If they still demand some kind of apology from you, then the apology should be the most vague, vague. For example: “This did not happen and could not have happened, but if you think that it happened, then forgive me.” But you must understand that these recommendations work for a large “livestock”. If you managed to aggravate relations with one person, then simply apologize personally.
Finally
Of course, how to behave after a corporate event directly depends on your position and the scale of the disaster. If it was an ordinary drinking session that ended with you falling asleep in a salad, then you shouldn’t behave like a beaten dog the next morning. In a global sense, nothing happened.
If you take the “I am to blame” attitude, you will receive pity and condemnation. If you somehow suffered from your fun, then apologize, compensate for the damage, but do it all without sentimentality, for example, like this: “Katerina, you are undoubtedly beautiful. Forgive me, I’m drunk. Let’s get you a new shirt.” ", explained business coach Mikhail Antonchik.
Remember the main thing: a person remembers for no more than two weeks what does not concern him. People discuss the worst disasters on earth for ten days, no more. Your behavior is not a global catastrophe, or even a local one, so it will be forgotten the very next day, says psychotherapist Sergei Gorin.
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