Living together, for all its apparent attractiveness, is fraught with great disappointments. Therefore, wise men are in no hurry to take such a step. Think for yourself: if your boyfriend does not want to live together, this does not mean at all that you mean nothing to him. Quite the opposite - he is afraid of ruining the relationship, dispelling all the charm of first dates and the bouquet and candy period.
If you still want this with all your heart, you need to know how to invite a man to live with him. And the most important thing is that having received such consent, do not spoil everything yourself. Promise yourself that you will take care of yourself in the same way, and do not allow routine into your relationship. If you follow some simple rules, you have every chance to build strong relationships, despite the presence of everyday problems.
Find shared housing
A very good excuse - offer him to rent an apartment together. You can’t handle it alone, but together you can definitely handle it. Tell me that you really liked this apartment, it’s literally the dream of your whole life: the curtains there are just amazing, and the kitchen has tiles in your favorite color, and it’s located in a very convenient place, and the neighbors are good. In a word, make it clear that you definitely want to move in there. In the worst case, he will offer to help with payment, in the best, he will agree to move in together. In both cases, you will only win.
Force majeure
If you already live alone, tell a friend a story about how you are afraid to be home alone at night.. Say this with an embarrassed but excited face, saying that someone is slamming doors all the time at night, there are some strange sounds on the street, in general, play the coward and ask to “watch” for a few nights. Just don’t overdo it, because men are only outwardly strong and calm; many are still afraid of the monster in the closet and under the bed.
Trial life together
You still don't understand why the guy doesn't want to live together? He may have a lot of reasons for this: fear of losing independence, changing his usual daily routine, fear of becoming attached to you, and then suddenly falling out of love and suffering because of this attachment. To quell these fears, show him that you are not imposing anything on him, take more care of him, cook wonderful delicious meals, describe how great it will be to fall asleep and wake up together. Better show him what benefits he will receive from moving in with you.
Well, to consolidate the result, go on a joint vacation with him. There you will be hand in hand every day - it is enough for him to get used to your constant presence nearby, so that later, upon arrival, he will give in and agree to strengthen the relationship by starting to live together.
Living together can easily turn your relationship into hell! Or vice versa – take them to a new level. After living with you for a couple of months, MCH can seriously talk about marriage. Or vice versa - understand that in everyday life you are incompatible.
To successfully pass the test of life together, the main thing is not to force things. You need to move in together when you are really ready for it. Then you both will enjoy living under the same roof. However, how do you know if your relationship has matured to such an important step?
WomanJournal.ru invites you to check our list. If at least 5 signs match, it means that most likely you and your boyfriend will get along well together. And your couple can safely look for an apartment to live together. So, check your readiness!
- Your dream man saw you without makeup/with a hangover/with a cold, etc., but his feelings did not cool down because of this. If, waking up with you in the morning, he happily hugs and kisses you, calls you “his most beautiful girl,” etc. - it means he really loves you for who you are, even without hair styling and makeup! This is a good sign!
- He says that he would like to see you more often and tries to spend every free minute with you. Yes, and you would like to spend as much time as possible with your loved one.
- You have more than once jokingly discussed the prospect of living together and have already decided who will cook and who will take out the trash. If this conversation hasn't happened yet, have one. Even if you jokingly try to discuss the terms of your life together, you will immediately understand whether your views on household responsibilities, earnings, everyday life, etc. coincide. If not, then it is better to resolve differences and find compromises now, before you start living together.
- You like to spend time together and are never bored when alone with each other. Many couples survive only through constant joint entertainment: restaurants, cinema, clubs, companies. And left alone with each other in the apartment, they realize that they have nothing to talk about. Make sure this isn't about you!
- You know the shortcomings of your MCH, but you are quite ready to ignore them. It's worth moving in together only when you accept your loved one for who he is. If, when you move in together, you hope to change it, then your life together will turn into an eternal war.
- The prospect of life together inspires you! You're dreaming about how you'll cook a romantic dinner by candlelight or take a bubble bath together. If you associate life together with a mountain of unwashed dishes, boring routine sex and a faded robe, it’s clear you haven’t matured yet.
- You have already discussed and decided the financial issue for yourself. Who will make money? Who pays the rent? On whose income will you go on vacation? How much will each of you contribute to the overall budget? If you have already discussed the topic of money and come to an agreement, then your love boat is not afraid of the rocks of everyday life.
- MCH has already proposed to you, but you decided to test the relationship by living together. Quite reasonable!
- You have suitable living space. It is advisable, of course, to live together. But if this is not possible, and you live with relatives, then at least live in an apartment where there are fewer problems! Think about it, do you want to live not only with MCH, but also with his mother, grandmother, dog and bitch sister? If not, don’t rush to move in!
- MCH suggested living together, and you were overjoyed and without hesitation, you said “yes”! This is the surest sign of your readiness. It sounds like you want this with all your heart and your mind can't control your feelings. Great! Move in! And may your feelings only grow stronger, and may your romance move towards a happy wedding ending!
Here are the reasons why you shouldn’t move in together:
- All your friends moved in with their boyfriends, and you decided that it was time for you too.
- Your relationship leaves much to be desired, and you hope to improve it by living together.
- You are tired of living with your parents and want to move away from them at any cost.
- You just like your MCH's apartment. And much stronger than the MCH himself!
After all, it is while two lovers live together that they test each other’s strength. Cohabitation is a great way to see, before you are firmly tied by the bonds of marriage, whether you know how to act together when necessary, and whether one of you will try to shirk from everyday life. In addition, it is much easier to hint to a man about a wedding when you already live under the same roof. This means that in order to achieve your goals and accustom a man to the idea that you are always there, you simply need to first live together and look at each other properly. A few simple tips published in this article will help you quickly move in with your man.
Before you ask your loved one to live together, you need to decide where you will live with him. After all, a lot will depend on the choice of location and the situation in which you are now, including your financial well-being and the nature of your relationships.
You both still live with your parents
Perhaps in such a situation it will be easiest for you to persuade a man to move in with you. Surely he himself doesn’t really like living according to his parents’ rules, going to bed at a certain time, hiding his correspondence on social networks from his mother. This means that your chosen one is thinking about renting a separate apartment, perhaps even with you. So propose to him first, there’s nothing wrong with that. Let them know that you are tired of living according to your parents’ rules and being constantly dependent on your loved ones. Explain that you are ready to provide for yourself and be independent and therefore want to start renting housing. So why don't you two rent it together, since renting an apartment together is much easier and safer? If you wish, you can also say that you do not want to look for a roommate because you are not sure whether you will get along with her and whether she will turn out to be a slob, and renting an apartment alone is a little expensive.
If you are the only one who has an apartment
If you already have a place to live and you are happy to let your beloved man into it, it will be more difficult to persuade him to take this step. Not every man will agree to live with his girlfriend because of stupid stereotypes. Many people believe that a man should provide himself with a living space and a car before he has a girlfriend. This means that living with his chosen one can hurt his pride.
In this case, you will have to work hard before you can persuade your chosen one to move in with you. Explain to him that such nonsense as stereotypes should not interfere with your happiness, that living together is much more convenient than just constantly visiting each other. If he puts his feelings for you above other people's opinions, he will definitely agree. The main thing is that you don’t mind letting him into your “territory”. Don’t be afraid, if according to the papers this apartment belongs to you, your man will never get it, even if he marries you.
If he has an apartment
In this case, your main problem is not to seem like an obsessive hunter of other people's housing. Otherwise, your man may decide that you are with him only for his living space. Therefore, you need to encourage your man to invite you to live with him. This can be done in different ways.
A respectful reason. You can come up with a good reason, after which your chosen one, if he loves you, will be ready to invite you to his place. You can tell that you have problems with your apartment: for example, there are cockroaches in your entrance, and you urgently need to move somewhere for a few days. Or that the person you're renting from has asked you to move out. It all depends on your imagination. If your chosen one really loves you, he will definitely imagine himself as a knight who decided to help the lady of his heart. And he will invite you to live at his place at least temporarily, where you will remain.
Gradually conquer territory. Surely you periodically spend the night with your chosen one, and this gives you the right to leave several of your things with him. A toothbrush, slippers, a robe, a nightgown - all these are attributes of every morning, which means they simply must appear in the apartment of the man you love. Over time, pillows without which you don’t sleep well, your favorite type of tea or coffee, and other little things can also migrate there. The more often you spend the night with him, the more things you will need, because you cannot show up at work in the same clothes and without makeup every day. In addition, start taking part in caring for the apartment: help the man you love clean up there, wash the dishes, cook dinner. A man should see that being with you is not only very good, but also beneficial, because now he has someone to share his responsibilities with. This means that in the near future you will receive an offer to transport the rest of your things to him.
Living together is an important and necessary step in any relationship. Psychologists assure that testing each other and your feelings in everyday life before marriage is the path to a happy family life. So don’t be afraid to try on the status of a cohabitant, there’s nothing wrong with that. Moreover, it depends only on you how long you will wear it. Take care of yourself and your relationships, post comments below the text, share your experience. Don’t forget that you can talk about the article on social networks if you click on the appropriate buttons and
What to do, if did the guy propose to live together?
This question often arises among young girls, and they are left with a choice: to agree or not.
How to avoid conflicts in the family? Find out about this from ours.
Psychology and the meaning of living together
People live together as a couple - natural need.
Each of us wants to have a loved one on whom we can rely, with whom it is pleasant to wake up in the morning, and to lead a common life.
intimate side- one of the important ones, but not as strong as the need for emotional intimacy.
Living together can become a testing stage before marriage, so many couples initially live for some time without formalizing the relationship.
Basic meanings of living together:
- satisfaction of sexual needs;
- achieving material wealth; being alone makes it more difficult to regulate your financial condition;
- social status - you are no longer considered single, and living together for several months or years can be equated to marriage;
- receiving support from a partner.
For a woman, living together can be more meaningful since she is initially strives to create a family, and subsequently to the birth of a child.
Man not so clearly aimed at a serious relationship, but for him having a permanent partner is no less important.
Living together is a certain level of comfort, however, it is also associated with obligations and changes in the usual rhythm of life.
Pros and cons of cohabitation
Before you agree to live together, it is worth considering the pros and cons of living together.
This will allow you to evaluate whether it is truly right for you.
Pros of living together:
- you no longer need to look for a time and place to meet, now you see each other every day;
- maintaining a general budget, this will improve your financial condition if there are not enough funds for living;
- your relationship is becoming more serious;
- you can test your feelings and ability to live together, solve everyday issues, plan expenses;
- now sex can happen almost any time. When you lived in different houses, you had to plan it, choose a place and time;
- you get the status of being in a relationship.
Disadvantages of living together:
What is more for you - pros or cons - depends on the specific case and the people who are going to live together.
Living together requires some preparation, including moral. As a rule, it is difficult for any person to change their usual lifestyle.
For guys
How to invite a girl to live together?
You are probably worried whether the girl will agree to live together, how she will react to the proposal.
But you won't know unless you ask.
Organize a romantic atmosphere, let the girl feel comfortable. She must understand what is next to her a reliable guy you can always rely on.
- Try to find out what the girl thinks about the possibility of living together, whether this gives her positive emotions.
- Before you make an offer, think about where you will live, whether you have enough money to rent an apartment, and if necessary, to live together.
- If you plan to rent housing, then it is better to choose it together with your girlfriend. She will appreciate that you value her opinion.
- Voice your proposal. It's better to do this in private, in a romantic setting.
The girl doesn’t want to live together: why and what to do?
It is quite possible that the girl will answer negatively.
Reasons for this:
- she is scared;
- her parents are against it;
- does not feel responsible in you;
- she is not ready for life together;
- she doesn’t want to depend on her partner yet;
- she is not attached enough to you.
What to do in this case? Consider whether it is really worth insisting.
If a girl is not yet ready to live together, it means there is no need to rush things.
If her parents are against it, get to know them better and show your best side.
If a girl does not perceive you as a responsible, serious person with whom you can live together, you will have to try to change her opinion about you. It is not words that speak about a person, but actions, therefore prove your worth with deeds.
Fears can be dispelled by behavior and beliefs. Say kind words to the girl, create the image of a reliable guy you can rely on.
If you have problems with your financial situation, you may need to think about changing jobs or learn how to plan your expenses wisely. Don’t keep silent about the fact that you don’t have enough finances yet.- this should not come as a surprise to the girl after you start living together.
For girls
Guys are not always in a hurry to live together, trying to maintain a certain amount of freedom. We have to find ways to push them towards this.
How to push a man to live together?
To push a man to live together, you need to tie him to you quite strongly.
One of the methods- invite him to sometimes stay overnight with you or come over for the night.
This way the man will get used to the fact that there is a girl in his bed who also cooks breakfast in the morning. Respect his personality. If he is not ready yet, do not rush things - he may have various reasons for this.
The best way to find out a person's opinion is to talk to him. Start a conversation spontaneously, there is no need to demand a “serious conversation”, guys are very afraid of this.
In some cases the support of his parents will help. If you have found a common language with them, they treat you well and see a future in the relationship, then they may well push their son to make you an offer to live together.
How to invite a guy to live together?
The best way- ask directly. But it must be taken into account that men do not like violence against their personality. The desire of the stronger sex is to make decisions independently. Don't insist if he doesn't want to yet.
The conversation should take place in a calm atmosphere.
It is believed that the initiative should come more from the man, so you can lead the conversation to the point that he himself will offer to live together.
If not, ask directly if he wants to try living together. As an alternative, you can offer a trial option - for a couple of weeks.
How does a woman in love behave? you will find on our website.
Why doesn't the guy want to live together?
Eat many reasons why a man may still refuse to live in the same apartment with a girl:
- He's not ready.
- A free life is more attractive to him.
- He is afraid that he will not cope financially.
- I'm not sure that he wants to live with you.
- He has an established life, especially if the guy lives in his own apartment, and he doesn’t want to let another person into his own territory.
- You put too much pressure on him, which causes natural resistance in the male psyche.
- He likes the life he leads now, and he has no plans to change anything about it yet.
- He fears that now he will be under constant control and will not be able to fully manage his time and space - living with a girl means the need to take into account her interests, often to please his desires.
A young guy has freedom, the opportunity to manage his own life and not depend on anyone may be more important than a permanent relationship.
Before offering him a life together, it’s worth thinking about whether he really needs it, and whether it will negatively affect your relationship.
Of course, it is impossible to predict everything down to the smallest detail, which is why many couples prefer to live for some time before marriage, checking your feelings and compatibility.
How to persuade a guy to move in together?
How to convince a guy to move in together? If your desire to move in together is really strong, you will have to be smart and patient.
Perhaps the guy will agree immediately and has been waiting for such an offer for a long time, without risking making it himself.
Another variant- he stubbornly refuses to live together, but you insist on it.
What to do:
Do you want to live together- be patient. It’s not enough to just move in together; some time must pass until you get used to living together, to the fact that there is another person with his own views, attitudes and habits.
Why does a married woman need a lover? find out right now.
About the pros and cons of living together with a guy in this video:
Love and family
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13.01.14 16:28
A modern woman can be so carried away by her hectic activities at work or in business that she sometimes has no idea how to build a relationship with her beloved man. Everything seems to be fine, the relationship is stable and proven, there is mutual respect, understanding, love, and the woman wants to live with the man for the rest of her life, but for some reason the man is in no hurry to legitimize the relationship. How to invite a man to live together?
How to understand whether you need to offer a man to live together
First of all, in order to understand whether you need a long life together, you need to decide whether this is really so important, or whether these are echoes of a woman’s injured pride.
It is important to take into account all the moments that, without living together, seem small and insignificant, and later can irritate or cause resentment.
Are you able to take into account the fact that men are not always strong either, illnesses and troubles at work happen to them: will you be able to provide him with support and help in such cases, or will you run away at the first sign of weakness.
Is a man so dear that you want to always see his face next to you when you wake up? Do you like everything that surrounds him: friends, relatives, work colleagues, hobbies, etc. Or does his usual social circle and preferences sometimes cause negative emotions in you?
What needs to be done to make a man want to live together
First of all, you need to remember that you are an individual and you should always remain that way. The polygamy of men sometimes allows them to perceive a woman as prey that they can boast about, drag her around with them everywhere, she will not go anywhere. You cannot allow yourself to be treated this way. Let your chosen one know that you also have personal interests and your own social circle.
Remember that men love order in everything. This primarily concerns urgent matters. It is quite possible that some business or idea is interfering with his thoughts about your life together: for example, buying a car, building a house, defending a dissertation. In this case, you should wait a little; your turn will definitely come.
One of the reasons that prevents a man from deciding to live together is often the fear of change. Try to help him overcome this fear by imitating family life. For example, go together for a long time to visit relatives in another city, or go on a trip to a resort.
It is important to find a common language with your man’s mother. Find a topic for general conversation. Demonstrate in her presence your qualities as a good housewife, an intelligent, well-groomed woman, or simply a charming and positive person. Let mom see how attentive you are to her son. Her word will play an important role in your chosen one’s decision to live together.
A modern woman with business acumen and knows how to give orders. But here orders will only do harm. There is no need to put pressure on a man by offering to live together; arrange the situation in such a way that the man thinks that the initiative came from him.
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