Why is it so important to look at the benefits of being overweight? Because its disadvantages are realized, but its advantages are hidden in the unconscious, their denial is an unconscious resistance to harmony.
Abraham Maslow described a psychological phenomenon that, by analogy with Freud's Oedipus complex, he called the Jonah complex - this is an unconscious anxiety before self-improvement and the development of one's abilities, causing a decrease in the level of aspirations, preventing personal growth. In simple words, it is the fear of being good. lucky, successful. Unfortunately, this is not an innate personality trait, but a learned one: that is, a behavioral stereotype that develops from childhood, when those around the child (and then themselves) place increased demands on the child: either do it perfectly, or not do it at all. And if a child is afraid of not doing it “excellently,” then he prefers not to do it at all.
The secondary benefit from the disease, and this is precisely what the advantages of being overweight are, helps to maintain this pattern - a person leads a lifestyle that is directly opposite to the desired one, justifying it by being overweight.
let's consider example with alpine skiing:
I want to ski with my friends - go on vacation with them and glide easily and gracefully down the slopes. Now I can’t afford it because I have a lot of extra pounds, I’m heavy and ungraceful. - this is a conscious belief, minus excess weight.
But my friends have been doing this sport for a long time, and I will be a beginner - I won’t be able to catch up with them in terms of skill, and it’s important for me to be the best. In addition, alpine skiing is a dangerous sport. With the help of kilograms I save myself from injuries. - This is an unconscious motivation.
When conscious desires and unconscious resistance to them pull a person in opposite directions, internal conflict and irritation arise.
What other benefits of being overweight can be:
- Weighting the body is subconsciously associated with a person’s stability, stability, and authority - “This is a person you can rely on”
- Uniqueness - I’m immediately noticeable, I’m memorable, I stand out from the group
- Wide boundaries of the body remove people from people, create psychological distance, and eliminate unnecessary communication.
- Subconsciously, the fat layer is felt by our body as protection from the dangers of the outside world.
- I have many girlfriends and they are friendly to me - compared to me they look slim and are not afraid for their husbands
- If there was ever an episode of even the risk of violence, extra pounds will save me from such “attention”
- I can communicate on special forums - there are people who understand my problems
- What I lack in communication or entertainment I make up for with career growth or excellent studies.
- I suffer from loneliness, but I don’t know how to build relationships well - kilograms “save” me from disappointments
- Fear of changes in life, fear of losing what you have
- There are few pleasures in my life; food takes up a significant part of them
- When you are tired, food is a source of energy
- In our family, abundant meals and hospitality are common - I don’t want to stand out
- We once had a difficult financial situation and the fear of being hungry makes me eat more than I need
- To the house. where it smells like pies, angels flock - I bake pies and gather my family - it brings us closer
- if I weren't fat. I wouldn't pay so much attention to my body. Now I have to do this
- Thanks to the extra pounds, I am busy all the time - I monitor my weight and nutrition. If I don't have this problem, there will be a lot of unused time
- all my thoughts are occupied with weight loss - thanks to them I can leave solving other problems for later
This is not a complete list of possible advantages. I'm not suggesting you choose from a list, these are just examples of other people's unconscious benefits
The secondary benefit of excess weight can be sought not only in the present, but also in the past.
To do this, it is useful to remember (or ask your relatives) how your weight changed throughout your life - when it increased and when it decreased. There is such an exercise - it’s called “Life Line”: draw a graph - put weight values on the vertical axis, and dates or life events on the horizontal axis. Perhaps this work will help reveal hidden patterns of weight fluctuations.
If it's hard to find weight gain, try answering the following questions:
- What character traits are associated with being overweight?
- What good things will disappear from my life after I lose weight?
The approaching summer “spurs” us to pay special attention to ourselves. The desire, especially among women, to be slim, rejuvenated, fresh and beautiful is intensifying. Therefore, it is not surprising that it is in the spring that the fight against excess weight gains momentum.
Some people go on diets and train their bodies hard to feel comfortable on the beach. Others are tormented by remorse, because they are unable to refuse a tasty morsel. True, there are those who live and enjoy life, echoing the popular song: “Love me as I am.”
How can you find that golden mean in order to enjoy life, look attractive, and not “fight” with yourself? Let's try to figure it out.
In your circle of friends, you have probably met people who are constantly struggling with extra pounds and centimeters. At the same time, they resort to various methods of losing weight: fasting, diets, shaping, nutritional supplements, etc. Some achieve the desired result, others, on the contrary, do not change, or even gain weight. Why is this happening?
Psychology explains it this way: extra pounds bring benefits to some people that they don't realize. After all, everything we do in life, we need for some reason... Let's try to determine what kind of positive body excesses give us.
1. Being overweight gives life meaning.
There is a goal and you need to strive for it. This mainly applies to those people who have already raised children and do not have a favorite or stable job. Lack of demand is a powerful stress, the way out of which is at war with the body.
Therefore, he doesn’t want to lose kilograms (just as he doesn’t want to lose his wallet with money, because both are savings). He doesn’t want to lose weight so that it doesn’t feel bad (a synonym for the words “bad, poor, painful, scary”). For the subconscious, complete physically means filled with inner human content, the opposite of frivolity and frivolity. Consequently, to get rid of fullness means to become “empty and superficial.”
3. It has long been known that slightly overweight people have a lower mortality rate than their thin peers.
There was even a saying: “While the fat man dries, the thin man dies.” Currently, scientific data has confirmed that people whose obesity has not reached the level of obesity (no more than 13.5 kg of normal weight) are much less likely than people with normal weight to die from a number of diseases and dangerous conditions, including emphysema, pneumonia, Alzheimer's disease, major surgery, trauma and some infectious diseases. This is explained by large reserves of nutrients in the body and increased muscle mass in obese people.
4. Being overweight helps “explain” disappointments in your personal life.
A person convinces himself that until he loses weight, he will not marry successfully or will not get married…. Low self-esteem, reluctance or inability to build relationships with the opposite sex are hidden under the guise of “excess weight.”
5. Being overweight “helps” you avoid responsibility.
After all, you can blame extra pounds on your failures, unwillingness to solve problems, bad habits and laziness.
6. Being overweight can “hide” from the stress that arises. because of fear of changing your life.
For example, change jobs, get married or divorced, etc. The easiest way to blame your imperfect body for the lack of life prospects.
7. Sometimes excess weight is the result of frequent feasts, which people choose as the only way to socialize.
8. When we consume food, blood rushes to the stomach, and the anxious thoughts that arise in the head calm down.
Unconsciously putting piece after piece into our mouth, we temporarily make a truce with our restless consciousness. Excess weight becomes the result of “psychotherapy” with food.
9. Another reason for excess “fat armor,” especially in women, is psychological protection, especially from fear of violence.
The subconscious seems to say: “No one will pay attention to me, so fat, and therefore no one will offend me. Therefore, as long as I’m fat, I can live in peace.” It is sometimes difficult to determine what episode or life situation triggered such a defensive reaction, since the brain can veil it.
10. Often the weight does not come off due to compensation. any psychological problem.
Weighting of the body and excess appetite are an attempt to cope with excessive anxiety, increased nervousness, vulnerability, a feeling of threat from the outside world... To be full means to center on yourself, to “ground yourself,” to feel supported, to calm down, to be stable, to avoid fuss and chaos in own life.
11. Often, completeness gives greater inner freedom.
There is no worry that every piece you eat will ruin your appearance. Less dependent on other people's opinions and attention - I am who I am, and I am ready to face your negative attitude towards me, because I already know everything negative about myself.
12. Completeness gives a different quality of communication:
In the foreground is not showiness and flashiness, but personal qualities: level of intelligence, education, charm, spiritual development, charisma; priority of internal content over bodily forms. For a woman - protection from excessive attention from men: the absence of a rudely evaluating approach in communication, protection from disappointment.
13. Excess weight is an outward sign that unites people, a way to avoid loneliness.
It’s easier to be fat, there are more fat people in society (only 5% of people meet modern standards of slimness, the remaining 95% are overweight to one degree or another).
14. Excess weight gives women the priority of grooming, elegance, sophistication, inner strength over flashiness and brightness, and men - solidity, authority, strength and status.
And these are not all the hidden benefits that a person “clings on” to, gaining extra pounds. So it turns out that the benefits of excess weight are stronger than the most effective weight loss methods.
Psychologist Dina Nagimova
Almost every week we want to start a new life - go to bed earlier and get up earlier, drink less coffee, eat less sweets, “go on a diet” and get rid of extra pounds, start exercising, etc. And almost every Monday there are reasons why we cannot do this now. And everything is postponed again until next Monday.
Why do you think this happens? No time, no motivation or just lazy? It turns out that this is beneficial for us! But what could be the benefits of extra pounds? What good can come from unhealthy habits? We'll see now.
Every extra kilogram, every unhealthy habit has a positive role that it plays, in other words, a benefit. It can protect us from something, give us something we subconsciously strive for or fear.
Any action that we like or dislike carries with it some kind of pleasure, comfort and protection. For example, when a person has no other pleasures in life, he uses food as the most accessible thing. The benefit is to get pleasure quickly! It is important to find your benefits, then the weight loss process will go much faster and easier!
What are the benefits of being overweight?
1. Having fun
Enjoying food is fun.
2. Excusing your failures
Very often, self-doubt and the inability to build relationships with people and the opposite sex are hidden behind extra pounds. The benefit is to relieve yourself of responsibility and justify yourself in the fact that you cannot find a worthy husband or wife, true friends or a good job.
3. Having a purpose in life
When a person has no other goals in life, then the goal of getting rid of excess weight becomes the only one. The benefit is to have at least one goal that you can constantly work towards.
4. Protection from the outside world
If a person is very vulnerable, has once suffered psychological trauma, lost a loved one or experienced betrayal, excess weight can become a certain protective barrier from pain, disappointment and danger. A person fences himself off, defends himself from everything that hurts, frightens and upsets him.
5. Protection from stress
The easiest way to “cope” with stress is to “eat it”. Very often this is what causes a sweet tooth.
6. Feeling of self-worth
Sometimes behind excess weight there is a desire to give oneself weight in the eyes of others and to feel more important, respectable and authoritative.
7. Manipulation
Excess weight and even illness can be beneficial in order to arouse pity for oneself, achieve some kind of privileges and manipulate people.
Of course, we consciously do not want to be overweight and we sincerely try to get rid of it, but something may interfere with us, and we need to deal with it.
Ask yourself questions: what good do I get from excess weight, from a lot of sweets or coffee, from lack of exercise and any other unhealthy habit? What pleasure do I feel? What I feel?
After answering these questions honestly, find what can help you feel and experience the same. For example, if eating stress brings you peace, find another activity that will also calm you. For me, this is, for example, embroidery.
Remember, being healthy and fit is easier than you think!
To improve your nutrition and sports system, always be healthy and energetic, in great shape and in a great mood, sign up for the “” program!
Excess weight is a common and well-studied phenomenon caused by both physiological and psychological reasons. It’s just a pity that psychology is often ignored, but there are many clues hidden in it.
According to statistics, excess weight in most cases is a consequence of banal overeating. Russian endocrinologist Larisa Savelyeva believes that the increase in obesity is associated with the so-called Westernization of society, which has affected lifestyle changes. But diseases account for only 5% of cases.
PHOTO KAPRIZYLKA.RU
Overeating is when we eat more than we need for good health. It would seem that knowledge about proper nutrition is available to everyone today. How do people still manage to feed themselves incorrectly? Why are even nutritionists overweight?
“Knowing” and “doing”, as you know, are different things, especially in matters of nutrition. Why is that? Precisely because there is a lot of psychology involved in them. This is why it can be so difficult to follow a nutritionist's recommendations. Not only because of laziness or weak willpower, as everyone is accustomed to believe.
The fact is that we need excess weight, and therefore, in order to get rid of it, we need to understand why. It sounds strange: how can someone need excess weight? But we are talking about hidden benefits that are not obvious to consciousness. Once you realize these benefits, you will be able to meet your needs in truly effective ways, rather than by overeating.
It is the subconscious that controls our behavior. You can consciously want anything, but everything will turn out the way it is written in the subconscious. So what are the hidden benefits of being overweight?
Excess weight can act as protective armor. The subconscious logic is this: I’m getting fatter, which means I can cope with stress and stress more effectively. Overweight women may be protecting themselves from their sexuality. For example, in order not to attract other men while married. Or for fear of being underestimated as a person (for example, at work).
PHOTO VLADTIME.RU
The male version of such a benefit is a renunciation of the aggressiveness and ambition characteristic of a real man. In modern society, men are expected to achieve certain achievements: in their careers, relationships with women, etc. Excess weight becomes an excuse not to participate in this fight. He can generally justify inaction in any area of life. After all, it seems to us - thanks to popular culture - that only slim people achieve happiness and success.
The next unconscious benefit of excess weight is gaining weight in the eyes of others. This is important for people in high positions burdened with serious responsibility. In this case, excess weight is a reinforcement of personal qualities (“this way they will definitely take me seriously”).
Often overeating is an attempt to isolate yourself from unpleasant experiences. Especially from feelings of guilt, anger, anxiety and sadness. People do this because they don't know how to deal with their emotions. Others have subconscious beliefs that it is impossible to be bad and imperfect. For example, a woman believes: a good mother cannot be angry. Every time she feels angry at the child, she will experience a strong desire to overeat.
Yes, immersing yourself in negative emotions is scary and uncomfortable. This requires a certain amount of courage and honesty with yourself. But working through emotions is the only right way. Suppression will turn your emotions into evil demons eager to poison your life. Therefore, learn to be aware and acknowledge your emotions. To do this, psychologist Alla Kholmogorova recommends saying them out loud. It is important not only to acknowledge experiences to yourself, but also to communicate them to loved ones. This way they will be able to understand you better and help you if necessary.
The fight against excess weight can become a lifelong endeavor if a person does not have enough other interests and hobbies. Everyone needs activities that bring deep satisfaction and enrich them spiritually. When they are few, constant weight gain and loss is an attempt to fill this void.
The habit of eating when you are not hungry threatens to develop food addiction. It is not easy to recognize, especially in the early stages. Whatever one may say, we need food to survive, unlike, for example, alcohol. As addiction develops, overeating occurs more frequently. Eventually it starts for almost any reason.
The problem is that comforting yourself with something tasty is almost worldly wisdom and a rule of life. Since childhood, we are taught that candy is a reward and support. Giving up such a strategy at a conscious age can be difficult. We all realize that eating half a cake is not a solution to the problem. But the nature of any addiction is cunning, and we find a thousand excuses to do it.
To cope with psychological overeating, first give yourself permission to eat. This is such a trick, because you always want to break the ban. Next, learn to distinguish between real and emotional hunger. Finally, make it a habit to analyze each instance of overeating to look for the real problem. The hunger-satiety scale, techniques for working with emotions and other specific recommendations can be found from adherents of intuitive nutrition. One of the most popular authors in the CIS is Svetlana Bronnikova.
Anastasia PENEVSKAYA, psychologist.
Hidden benefit in psychology is the true reason why a person can indulge in illness, gain excess weight, and constantly find himself in problems. It is worth emphasizing that a person’s conscious motives play a very modest role here. Often unconscious aspirations come into conflict with conscious ones. A person does not want to gain weight, but unconsciously he strives for this. How is this possible?
What are hidden benefits?
Any problem also has a downside - a positive role, or benefit. This problem can serve a protective function, or give a person what he wants or what he fears. It is the fear of a certain thing that attracts that thing and realizes it. Just like the unbridled desire to get rid of something, on the contrary, only contributes to the appearance of this in a person’s life. For this reason, psychologists recommend formulating your personal goals in a positive way: not “get rid of extra pounds,” but “become slim.”
Of course, a person consciously strives for completely different goals. He is convinced that he wants to please the opposite sex and dreams of a good career. Television supports it in every possible way: the main characters of films or characters in commercials are rarely fat or overweight. But after the goal was finally achieved, the arrow on the scale again steadily crawled to the right. And this is not the first time this has happened to someone losing weight.
What could be the hidden benefit of obesity?
- a person may unconsciously strive to avoid arousing sympathy from members of the opposite sex (“if I fall in love with someone, I will ruin the marriage”);
- excess weight can also be a target of aggression in cases where there is no other way to relieve tension;
- sometimes obesity acts as a sufficient reason to justify failures in other fronts of life;
- Those people who would like to save more may unconsciously strive to be fat. After all, when there are so many temptations around to spend your hard earned money on clothes (made mainly for skinny ladies), a desire arises to refrain from such spending.
Technique for identifying hidden benefits
How can we understand what hidden benefits excess weight brings us? To do this, you can do a simple exercise. Its meaning is to imagine a situation - the extra pounds are gone forever. There is no longer any fear that your figure will deteriorate. The new body will remain with you forever. What changes await you? Answer a few questions:
- How did the day start? What is your daily routine now? How are things different from how you spend your day now?
- What new things do you now hear from others, what unusual things do you see for yourself? (perhaps these are compliments from a colleague, or admiring glances from men). How do you feel at the same time (how do you respond, what do you experience at the same time - satisfaction, joy, embarrassment or shame)?
- What do you do during the day? What people do you communicate with most of the time now? What actions do they expect from you? What sensations are present when interacting with them?
- How does the new image affect communication with loved ones? What is their reaction to your newfound slimness? How do you feel?
- What difficulties are currently standing in your way of life? Have new tasks appeared? Is there a desire to work towards these goals? Do you know how to solve problems that arise?
At first, those who answer these questions see only the benefits of losing weight. But if you delve deeper into your feelings, you can see how many new worries a new figure can bring. For example, transformations can provoke disapproval from loved ones. Or it can cause fear that we will now look too attractive, attracting unwanted attention. Or a person may be completely unprepared to achieve new goals - look for a job, build relationships.
Sometimes a person can find these answers for himself; in some cases, you cannot do without a psychologist. Anyone who wants to lose weight must be internally prepared for the upcoming changes. We often convince ourselves that as soon as the excess weight goes away, then the opportunity to travel, look for work, go dancing, and run a business will appear. However, you can try to “rehearse” a new life now. It is unlikely that anyone from our circle of friends will notice the few kilograms we have lost. But a well-groomed appearance and shining eyes will certainly be noted. Don't put off life - allow yourself to live today!
Bye everyone.
Best regards, Vyacheslav.
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