Feeling anger sometimes is normal, as long as you don’t push it, but live safely. To be in a claim to the world, when you want to control everything and everywhere, and when this does not happen - to be angry all the time - this is already abnormal. How abnormal and not able to control it. Control is to blow off steam in ways that are safe for everyone, leaving nothing in yourself and dumping nothing on others. How to do this?
Emotions are lived only through the body - analysis by the brain does not give anything. Because they live in the body and exit through the body. If you think and analyze, then I understand everything with my head, but it still infuriates me.
For example, you have a difficult relationship with your mother. And if you only let off steam and scream into the pillow, without changing anything in your attitude towards your mother, then this is pointless. This is the same as taking painkillers for a toothache and not going to the doctor. You need to take care of your teeth, right? And relationships need to be healed. This is primary. justify;"> We will talk most of all about anger, because it is not clear what to do with it and where to put it. And one way or another, in any complex interweaving of emotions, there is a lot of anger. The way out of many difficult states, such as feelings of guilt and resentment, occurs through anger. And refusing to live it, we cannot go further.
But I ask you to separate anger as a momentary emotion that comes naturally when things don't go your way (such is the nature of anger) and anger as a character trait, which is anger. Feeling anger sometimes is normal, as long as you don’t push it, but live safely. To be in a claim to the world, when you want to control everything and everywhere, and when this does not happen - to be angry all the time - this is already abnormal. How crazy and not able to control it.
Controlling anger does not mean not feeling it or suppressing it.
Control is to blow off steam in ways that are safe for everyone, leaving nothing in yourself and nothing being dumped on others. Imagine that anger is a natural waste product of the body, like overcooked food. What happens if you consider this case "dirty" and stop going to the toilet? Forbid yourself to do it? What will be the outcome? Maybe our task is to create such a “toilet” for emotions too – a place where we do something calmly and safely, without harming anyone?
And I beg you to avoid premature spirituality in emotions. This is when it boils and hurts inside, and from above we crush it all with the word “no” and delve into the reasons. Most often, this is how we treat other people's feelings, they say, I'll tell you now why you flew by karma! Causes are sought after the emotion is released. It will be much easier for you to see all this with a sober head. First, live. Or let a person live, help him in this.
And now let's get started. I want to divide the ways of experiencing emotions into constructive and destructive. Those that are harmless and those that hurt someone.
Destructive ways:
Pour on other people, especially those who "passed by."
At work, the boss got it, but you can’t say it in his face, so we come home - and it hits the cat, which turned up under the arm, that is, under the leg, or the child who again brought the “troika”. Familiar? And it seems that you will yell and it will become easier, but then comes the feeling of guilt - after all, a cat or a child has nothing to do with it.
Rudeness.
In the same situation, when the boss drove him into a rage, but the anger remained inside, you can not deliver this bomb to the house, knowing that it will explode there. And pour out your anger on the saleswoman who works slowly and makes a mistake, on those who stepped on your foot or crossed the road, and at the same time on those who are very annoying with a happy face. And also of little use. Even if there is no feeling of guilt, the negative emotions of another person, on whom all this is poured out, will definitely return to us one day. Again. And so they go back and forth, while we are rude to each other.
Trolling on the Internet
This method seems to be safer and more unpunished. An anonymous page without an avatar, even if with an avatar, will not be found and beaten for sure. The boss brought it out - you can go to someone's page and write disgusting - they say, what an ugly thing! Or write nonsense! Or provoke some kind of dispute on a difficult topic, pouring mud on opponents, poking them with a needle in different places to hurt. But the law of karma works here, even if the laws of the state are not yet everywhere.
eat sweets
Another way, which, by the way, we often see in films. When a heroine is abandoned by a loved one or cheats on her, what does she do? I have this picture in front of my eyes: a crying girl in bed is watching a movie and eating a huge can of ice cream. The harm of such an event, I think, is clear to many.
Swear
Another way may look like this: you get rude, and you are rude in return. The husband came to yell at you - and you yell at him too. You seem to be honest. The person is the cause of your negative feelings, you need to urgently express them. But by doing so, you only fan the fire, intensify the conflict, and nothing good comes from it. A quarrel always takes out all our strength, including all hidden reserves, and we remain devastated and unhappy after it. Even if the dispute is won.
beat someone
Again - children, dogs, husband, boss (well, you never know). Any person who is the cause of your anger or just came to hand. Corporal punishment for children, during the emotional breakdown of parents, is very traumatic. They provoke in the child both a feeling of humiliation and a reciprocal hatred that he cannot express in any way. If you hit your husband, then you can get change, which, unfortunately, is not uncommon. And I've seen statistics that about half of women who have experienced domestic violence are the first to start a fight, not expecting a man to fight back. This does not justify men, but it does not honor women either.
Suppress
There is a belief that anger is bad. The more religious a woman is, the more she suppresses anger. He pretends not to piss her off, smiles stiffly at everyone, and so on. Further, anger has two ways out - to explode in a safe place (again at home, on loved ones) - and she will not be able to control this. And the second option is to hit her health and body. It seems to me that it is no coincidence that today so many people die precisely from cancer, this is a disease of unlived emotions, which many psychologists have repeatedly written about.
Break dishes and break things
On the one hand, the method is constructive. It's better to break a plate than hit a child. And of course sometimes you can use it. But if we destroy some things on our way, then we need to understand that then all this will need to be restored. My husband once destroyed his laptop in a rage. It was a terrible sight, and then I had to buy a new computer. This is costly, and therefore less constructive than we would like.
Slam the door
It seems to me that this method is dear to many teenagers. And I remember myself like that, and in places I already see children like that. In principle, not the worst way. Only once I slammed the door so hard that the glass broke in it. And so nothing special.
Beat with words
You don't always need hands to hit a person. We women are good at doing it with words. Poke at pain points, sting, tease - and then pretend that we are not to blame and nothing to do with it. The more dirt we have inside us, the sharper and more caustic our tongue is. I remember myself, before, when I didn’t know where to put my feelings, I constantly teased everyone. Many called me an "ulcer", I could not help myself. I thought it was funny.
The more I learn to feel the feelings, the softer my speech becomes. And the less any kind of "studs" in it. Because it does not give anything good to anyone. For a couple of minutes, you can feed your ego and at the same time destroy relationships and earn karmic reactions.
Revenge
Often in a fit of anger it seems that if we take revenge and wash away the shame with the blood of the enemy, we will feel better. I know that some women during a quarrel with their husband, to spite him, have sex with someone, for example. A blessed option, which many consider acceptable, especially if the husband has cheated. But what's the bottom line? Revenge only exacerbates the conflict and increases the distance between us. Revenge is different - subtle and rough. But none of them are useful. Nobody.
Sex
Not the best way to discharge, although it is physical. Because sex is still an opportunity to show love for each other, and not use each other as exercise equipment. Our mood during intimacy greatly affects our relationship in general. And casual connections with just anyone, for relaxation, are not only not useful, but also harmful.
shopping
Women often go to the store in upset feelings. And they buy a lot of unnecessary things there. Sometimes they even deliberately spend more money than necessary in order to take revenge, for example, on their husband. But it turns out that at this time we are using the resources that are given to us for good deeds - that is, money - at random and trying to harm others with their help. What will be the result? Resources will run out. And what they were spent on will not be useful. The dress you bought in anger will soak up your condition and make it difficult for you to wear it.
The list turned out to be impressive, not entirely joyful, but nevertheless, most often this is exactly what we do. Because we do not have a culture of dealing with feelings. We were not taught this, they never talk about it anywhere - they only ask us to put our feelings out of sight. And that's all.
Constructive ways of experiencing emotions:
Let the feelings be.
Sometimes - and by the way, very often, to experience a feeling, it is enough to see it, call it by its name and accept it. That is, in a moment of anger, say to yourself: “Yes, I am very angry now. And that's okay." This is very difficult for all those who have been told that this is not normal (because it is inconvenient for others). It’s hard to admit that you are angry now, although it is written on your face. It is difficult to say that this also happens. Sometimes it's hard to understand, but what is this feeling? I remember in constellations a girl whose jaws were trembling, her hands tensed into fists, and she called her feelings “sadness”. Learning to understand what it feels like is a matter of practice and time. For example, you can watch yourself. At critical moments, look in the mirror to understand what is on your face, follow the signs of the body, observe the tension in the body and the signals in it.
Stomp.
In traditional Indian dances, a woman stomps a lot, it is not so noticeable, because she dances barefoot. But in this way, through energetic movements, all tension leaves the body and goes into the ground. We often laugh at Indian films, where from any events - good or bad - they dance, but there is a special truth to this. Live any feelings through the body. Allow anger to run through you as you vigorously vent it through energetic stomps. By the way, there are many such movements in Russian folk dances.
It is not necessary to go to the dance section right now (although why not?) Try to close your eyes and, having felt an emotion in your body, “give” it to the ground with the help of stompers. Of course, it is best to stomp while standing on the ground, and not on the tenth floor of a high-rise building. Even better if you can do it barefoot on grass or sand. You will physically feel how much easier it becomes.
And don't think about how it looks. Ideally, of course, if no one sees you and does not distract you. But if there is no such place, close your eyes and stomp.
Scream.
In some trainings, a form of purification such as screaming is practiced. When we scream into the floor, with a partner who helps us, we can also scream into a pillow in any other way. Some important word is usually shouted. For example, "Yes" or "No" - if it suits your emotion. You can just shout "Aaaaaa!". Take a deep breath and then open your mouth and empty your heart that way. So several times, until you feel empty inside.
Sometimes before that they do some kind of “pumping” - at first they breathe very, very quickly, exclusively through the nose.
There are weaknesses in this technique. For example, neighbors and households. The scream is very loud. And if you cannot relax and not worry, then it will not heal. The scream must come from a relaxed throat, otherwise you can seriously break your voice. It is better to try this for the first time somewhere with experienced people, then the effect will be greater.
Speak out.
Women's way. To live any feelings, we really need to talk about it, tell someone. About how the boss offended, and someone on the bus called. Not so much even to get support (which is also nice), but to pour it out of yourself. Approximately because of these people go to psychologists to get everything that corrodes their heart from there. A friend who has been working as a psychologist for a very long time once shared that most of her clients are helped by one simple way. She listens to them, asks questions so that they describe the situation as voluminously as possible, and that’s it. Doesn't give any recipes or advice. Just listening. And often at the end of the conversation, a person has a solution. Of course. It was as if the veil of anger that had been covering his eyes had been removed, and he saw the way.
Women do the same with each other, speaking out. There are only two points here. You can not tell anyone about your family life - about the problems in it. Otherwise, these problems can be exacerbated. And if they tell you something, you should not give advice. Just listen. By the way, you can organize a circle in which women share all their emotions - and then somehow symbolically say goodbye to them (which is often done in women's groups).
Be careful not to dump all your emotions on your husband. He just can't take it. If you talk to your friends, get their consent first. And don't forget to share the good things too (otherwise a friend may feel like a "toilet", which is only needed to drain negative emotions). It's great if you can cry to mom or dad if you have a mentor who listens to you, or a husband who is ready to do this.
Any of our blocks and clamps in the body are unlived emotions. Of course, I'm not talking about light strokes, but about deep work with the body, with force. A high-quality massage that kneads these points helps us cope with emotions. In this place, the main thing - as in childbirth - is to open up to pain. They press you somewhere, you feel pain - breathe and relax towards the pain. Tears may also come out of your eyes - this is normal.
A good massage therapist will immediately see your weak points - and he knows exactly where and how to press in order to remove the clamp. But often it hurts so much that we stop it - and do not move on. Then the massage becomes a pleasant relaxation procedure, but does not contribute to the removal of emotions.
When you are up to date, sometimes you want to hit someone. Husband, for example, or spank a child. Try at this moment to switch to the pillow - and beat it with all your heart. The main thing is not to sleep on such a pillow - let it be your sports equipment, which lies separately. You can cry into it. Or you can get yourself a punching bag and gloves. Also an option, however, it requires free space at home.
Beat the couch with a rolled up towel.
Many people face the problem of increased emotionality, which greatly complicates their lives.
Help to cope simple psychological tricks.
How dangerous is the state of emotional deprivation? Learn about it from ours.
Causes of increased emotionality
Heightened emotionality- this is a warehouse of the psyche, which is characterized by easily arising excitability in response to weak and moderate stimuli.
People in this case are characterized by tearfulness, a demonstrative manifestation of joy, anxiety, frequent outbursts of anger and irritability.
In such individuals, the ability to self-control during experiences is instantly lost. Under the influence of their emotions, they cease to objectively assess the situation.
The main reasons for the instability of the emotional sphere:
Can you learn to suppress it?
Is it possible to become an unemotional person?
Suppression of emotions- this is an active influence on strong experiences, the purpose of which is the destruction of these experiences.
It is important not to confuse the suppression of emotions with controlling them, with managing them.
Control is understood as the impact on emotions of medium strength, and management - coordination of calm emotions. In the case of suppression, we are talking only about strong, pronounced experiences.
It is possible to learn to suppress the external manifestations of feelings, but this is recommended to be done only in isolated cases. For example, when the demonstration of experiences is unacceptable in a particular place.
To suppress an emotion, it is necessary at the moment of its occurrence set up an internal barrier, which categorically prohibits any external action. This can be done only if you have a strong will and the ability to control yourself.
Constant, systematic suppression of emotions will lead to serious health and mental problems, so this is not recommended.
The best way out of a crisis situation is not to fight your feelings, but to change the situation itself (as much as possible).
For example, when negative emotions are manifested while communicating with a specific person you can just stop this communication. In this case, it will not be necessary to suppress inner experiences, since the source of their occurrence will be eliminated.
Often people do not make any efforts to correct their own behavior.
This position is erroneous because from his excitability, a person first of all suffers himself.
By learning to manage your emotions, you can significantly improve the quality of your life.
How to get rid of excessive excitability?
You can get rid of increased excitability in the following ways:
- Elimination of health problems. If the cause of increased excitability lies in neurological, endocrine, mental, vascular diseases, then it is necessary to initially solve health problems.
- Proper breathing, meditation. Meditative techniques used by yogis have long been widely used around the world.
The ability to breathe correctly, to concentrate on the internal sensations of your body helps not only to improve your health in general, but also to learn how to control yourself.
Feeling the approach of irritation, you need to concentrate on your own breathing. Usually a person during arousal begins to breathe quickly and shallowly. The development at such moments of deep, slow breathing will automatically lead to relaxation of the muscles, the appearance of a sense of calm.
- Liberation from the past. Often the cause of nervousness lies in the "ghosts" of the past that do not let a person go. Unsuccessful relationships, difficult breaks, betrayals - all this becomes a heavy baggage of life, which greatly undermines the internal resources of the body. Receptive, impressionable people do not know how to let go of their past and think only in the present. For this reason, experiences accumulated throughout life, sad memories gradually greatly change the level of emotionality and the ability to self-control for the worse.
- Awareness of one's own value. The ease of occurrence of emotional reactions may be due to low levels of self-esteem. Other people's opinions, gossip, remarks can easily unsettle a person and lead him into a state of increased excitability.
Realizing your own value as a person, you can easily come to the understanding that the assessments of other people do not matter.
Getting rid of this will significantly reduce the level of emotional anxiety.
- The ability to admit mistakes. Often the cause of irritation or anger lies in the realization of one's own wrong and unwillingness to admit the obvious state of affairs. For example, the constant irritability of a person in the workplace may be caused by an inability to perform the duties assigned to him.
Experiencing constant stress due to failures and condemnation of others, a person begins to demonstrate affective behavior. Changing the situation (in this case, changing the type of activity) allows you to restore peace of mind. - Appeal to nature. Nature is a source of positive emotions. It allows you to achieve peace of mind, escape from the daily hustle and bustle. This is especially useful for residents of metropolitan areas that constantly exist in an annoying atmosphere. Hiking, campfire gatherings, active outdoor games, cycling - all this helps to calm the nervous system, restore vital energy.
- Proper rest. Often people spend their free time from professional activities on shopping trips, meeting friends in cafes, solving many household issues.
These ways of spending the weekend are quite natural, but in case of emotional overexcitation they are not desirable.
In the presence of obvious psychological problems, it is important to try to spend your rest as calmly as possible: get enough sleep, read, walk in the fresh air. It is these actions that will help to truly relax and calm down.
- Positive thinking. In almost any critical situation, you can find positive moments. It is important to constantly work on the formation of a positive mindset. In a bad mood, you should start thinking about something good that lies ahead, or remember funny moments from the past. Psychologists claim that an elementary mechanical smile on the face automatically leads to an improvement in mood, since the brain receives the appropriate signal.
How to turn off emotions?
To learn how to turn off emotions, you need to do the following:
Effects
The main consequences to which can lead to systematic forced suppression of emotions:
The above conditions can eventually lead to a range of physiological health problems: headaches, indigestion, insomnia, etc.
Get rid of excessive emotionality within the power of any person. You can achieve positive results by following the recommendations of psychologists.
Can emotions be turned off? Scientific approach to the problem:
How to humiliate a person with clever words is a question that interests many. After all, I really want to put the impudent man in his place so that he himself becomes the subject of ridicule.
How and with what words can a person be humiliated?
In no case should you be like your opponent. Therefore, you should not use rude words and curses.
Categorically unacceptable and mat. A witty answer will help a woman emerge victorious from a verbal skirmish. And if nothing comes up right away, then it makes sense to memorize a couple of dozen phrases especially for such cases.
How to competently humiliate and crush a person with words?
However, it is not only what you say that matters, but also how you do it. A voice breaking into a scream, a snarling intonation are unacceptable for a self-confident woman. Namely, this is how you should look in front of your offender. Those who do not know how to morally humiliate a person with smart words should keep in mind that they should speak calmly, derogatoryly. It would also be appropriate to connect irony or even bright sarcasm.
How to humiliate a person with smart words: phrases for example
To learn how to humiliate a person morally with words, it is worth replenishing your personal vocabulary with a few smart and well-aimed phrases. For example, like this:
- Oh, are you all in the same position? Well, 35 (40.45) years is not an age, you can still plow and plow;
- have you read this book? Blimey! It must have been hard, with your intellect;
- and I would like to offend you, but nature has already done everything for me;
- it seems to me, you want to offend me? Well, you are unlikely to succeed, because for this you need to say something really smart;
- you remind me of the sea - you also make me sick;
- your wit is pretty dull;
- ah, so you were joking or what? Well go on, go on...
- you need to seriously reconsider your diet, for the intellect, for example, fish is useful, but you clearly lack it.
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Good day. Today I want to talk about how to get a person who bothers you or makes you uncomfortable out of yourself. Very often it happens when someone strongly clings to you with their own words, tries to “butt” you, hook you. The only thing, I don’t understand, honestly, I put myself in the place of such people and don’t understand why this needs to be done, why, for example, you need to tell a girl that she has an ugly style of clothing, because she won’t correct anything from their opinion, it’s her not interested, and perhaps she does not have the opportunity to dress differently. Putting myself in the place of such people "chains" :) I realize that I especially hate those people who, in my opinion, are superior to me in something, I look for their shortcomings in order to put myself on a higher level in my own eyes and thereby myself I go lower.
In general, the topic is not about this, but it also concerns her.
I would like to help people who do not conflict, who listen to criticism in silence and then torture themselves with thoughts about what the "chains" told them. The first thing to understand is that the person who makes a remark to you with malice or clings to you is a person who is not indifferent to you. An indifferent person is not necessarily a person who likes you, no, it is most often the other way around.
This person feels that you are higher than him on the stage of development, and he is nothing. This is the pure truth, not self-belief. Think about it and laugh at such people. Secondly, for sure a certain “chain” clings to you not for the first time. Calculate its shortcomings, because it's easy, watch. EVERYONE has flaws! Look for what he can never fix in himself. It hurts a lot. And the third is if communication drags on into a long conflict. Do not shout and do not call names, do not insult, agree, it is very infuriating when a person does not resist, but at the moment when you agree, try to offend more offensively so as not to speak directly, but with light hints. I promise the effect will be amazing ;)
Sincerely, Anna Zavodnaya (s)
Morphological analysis of the word online
Enter a word or sentence and get a morphological analysis indicating the part of speech, case, gender, tense, etc.
initial form: FURIOUS
Part of speech: noun
Grammar: singular, nominative, masculine, animate, surname
Forms: mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad
initial form: RAGE
Part of speech: participle
Grammar: singular, nominative, masculine, inanimate, imperfective, animate, intransitive, past tense, passive voice
Forms: furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious , maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening, maddening mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad
Part of speech: noun
Grammar: singular, nominative, masculine, animate
Forms: man, man, man, man, man, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people
Love is sudden, bright, strong! I was flooded with inspiring happiness. Love changes lives, and how! But after a while, a thought appears: something is wrong.
Feeling like it shouldn't be. Instead of happiness for two, a trap is obtained, in which it is tense, and it is impossible to get rid of it. When it’s good only with him, but nothing without him - what is it? Emotional dependence on a man or love for him? And if this is not love, then where do such feelings come from?
Without knowledge of the psyche, it is difficult to figure out where true love is and where emotional dependence on a man is. A woman in love in the heat of feelings is sure that she loves with all her heart. I want to shout to the whole world: "I want to be with you, I can't live without you!"
If you can't be together, it's a tragedy. When it works, the relationship doesn't work out. There are more and more quarrels. The woman begins to suffer from a lack of attention. And demand it more and more. She waits and does not wait. "Why don't you love me the way I love you?" How emotional dependence on a man arises and how to get rid of it, read in this article.
Which women are emotionally dependent on a man
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan defines such women as owners of a visual vector. Each vector has an innate psychic desire and only its inherent properties. The visual woman has the largest emotional volume. Not knowing how to manage it, she brings down all the power of her feelings on the adored object. And gets into emotional dependence on a man, and then does not know how to overcome it. You can’t just take it and fall out of love, because a visual woman needs feelings like air. The binding holds it - its visual vector feeds from this source.
Why there is an emotional dependence on a man
Not every woman with a visual vector finds herself in such a situation. But for everyone who is emotionally dependent on a man, the visual vector is not sufficiently realized.
The visual vector suffers when a woman lacks connections with other people. Many will say that there are girlfriends, friends, close people - but there is also an emotional dependence on a man! However, one should distinguish between the concepts of receiving and giving love. A typical situation is when a woman lives with the feeling that no one loves her, that no one needs her. Tantrums begin, statements of reproaches and discontent. Also, the chosen one is not behaving in the best way. Relationships are bursting at the seams, but she continues to cling to them.
A woman with a visual vector is the first to have emotions, and they arise from a sense of empathy. Love comes from compassion for other people. A woman with a visual vector, realizing herself through the creation of emotional connections and giving love to other people, gets out of the fetters of dependence. She no longer needs to draw emotions from one source when she understands the role of the visual vector.
Emotional dependence on a man is a sensuality that turned the wrong way.
The reasons for the inability to realize oneself can be:
- Visual vector injuries in childhood
If a girl suffers a traumatic break in an emotional connection in childhood, then as an adult, she may be in fear. She does not learn to express her feelings in the right way, and as an adult, it is more difficult for her to do this productively. When a visual woman experiences the background emotion of anxiety, she unconsciously hides from it in a relationship with a man, and develops an emotional dependence on him. If he does not give her constant confirmation of love, a wave of fear rolls over her that he has stopped loving.
Such a woman is terribly afraid of being alone. After parting with the man, she soon runs back to him, not knowing why. Unconscious reaction does not allow her to get rid of emotional dependence on a man.
- Negative life scenarios
Women can have a scenario of unsuccessful relationships with men. Situations are repeated where she unconsciously receives pain and humiliation instead of pleasure. Or she can experience love, only pitying the man. This is due to the peculiarities of the development of vectors in childhood. The woman herself may not be aware of this. So her husband becomes a loser, an alcoholic, a couch potato and even a sadist. Or she enters into a relationship with a married man, content with the role of a mistress. Relationships with others simply do not arise. She suffers and cannot escape from the emotional slavery of dependence on a man, because she has no power over her psyche.
- False installs
For a woman with a visual vector, beliefs in the spirit of “ love yourself, then you will be loved" and a ban on feelings are extremely destructive. Following them, she closes emotionality on herself. A woman does not understand how to remove emotional dependence on a man, does not distinguish her true needs from those imposed from the outside. He continues to “love himself” and is embarrassed to express his feelings, but this is not what should be done at all.
Getting rid of emotional dependence on a man is easy
Every woman in a dependent relationship feels drawn to it. In my head are constant thoughts about him, fantasies, conversations with him and dreams of a future that will never come true. Realizing this is very painful! Therefore, she often does not notice the obvious facts. The brain does not like to analyze pleasant illusions. She continues to fight for her "happiness", although in such conditions only short-term satisfaction can be achieved. And never a strong relationship. There is a kind of swing from euphoria (when receiving feelings) into melancholy (when depriving a source of joy). How to get out of emotional dependence on a man, because you can’t cancel your very essence ?!
Escape from emotional dependence on a man: simple steps
- Understanding your true psychic nature
- Finding ways to implement
- Working out psychotraumas and negative scenarios
- Learn what healthy relationships are and how to build them
- Understanding the psyche of a man will help answer the question “Does he love? »
Think about whether you want to leave everything as it is. Are you in a relationship that doesn't lead anywhere but you keep hoping? Not one hour of your life is worth continuing to suffer. There is an opportunity not only to get rid of emotional dependence on a man, but to become happy to the fullest! Do not chop off the shoulder without a safety net, but do like these women:
“... understanding step by step, brick by brick, began to take shape in my head. I felt on the part of this man and felt how much I was unloved and not needed by him in fact, and how much I fantasized the opposite!!! Understanding was heavy, sad, but necessary for me.
It became obvious that this man never wanted a relationship. He never felt for me the feelings that I attributed to him ...
…How could I not see that I was trying to build a relationship on my own? How could I think that my feelings are mutual? I thought it was impossible to be so blind! After all, what could be simpler than seeing desire or its absence, action or rationalization versus inaction, the power of bestowal or the absence of bestowal at the root? It's so tangible, so obvious! But, alas….
I was incredibly blind! I tried to build a relationship with the wall and took active steps, trying to melt this wall, until I reached a complete dead end, from which I was looking for a way out for a long time, collecting myself piece by piece back ...
For some reason, nowhere, in any source, I did not find these seemingly banal truths then. A man who wants to fly even to Mars. Otherwise, there will be a lot of rationalizations instead of the simple truth "I don't want, I don't need it." Rationalizations, which, of course, cannot be trusted! And after the SVP training, it is simply impossible to believe such excuses! So Yuri clearly shows the nature of the relationship between a man and a woman ... " 30 Aug, 2018
It can occur in a person suddenly, after a situation that is very traumatic for the psyche. How to get a person out of depression is the main thing that relatives and specialists need to work on so that the emotional sphere does not suffer even more.
To win, you need to study the habits of the enemy - says one ancient proverb. The situation is the same with depression. To overcome it, you need to know what this condition is and what causes it.
The psychological definition of depression is as follows:
Depression is a condition related to affective disorders, in which a person is in the grip of negative emotions, while his motivational sphere, cognitive representations change, and general passivity in behavior is noted.
In a state of depression, a person constantly experiences difficult emotions, he is overcome by feelings of longing, depression and despair. Volitional acts are no longer so intense, motives are suppressed, drives are reduced. In this state, people are characterized by "self-flagellation", they do not see the prospect of the future, as they constantly oppress themselves for the mistakes of the past. They are burdened by real life difficulties - they do not feel the strength to cope with them.
And there are many such situations. They are next to us, many people suffer from an annoying feeling of loneliness, tearing melancholy. Help in such situations is necessary, but very carefully so as not to harm. Where to start?
Important: if depression is suspected, a person must without fail!
Tune yourself
A person who wants to help a loved one get out of a depressive state must, first of all, tune in to hard and productive work. For this it is important:
Set up a person suffering from depression
When talking to a person suffering from loneliness and longing, it is important to let him know that you are confident that he will cope with this situation. But it is also not worth entertaining rosy hopes. As, for example, some inexperienced "helpers" try to assure a person that after leaving this state, he will begin a heavenly life: there will be no problems, everyone will love and help him. Unfortunately, such help only worsens the manifestation of the disorder, and the person becomes depressed not from the previous situation, but from unjustified hopes.
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