Morse loved to go to the bathhouse with men. Sometimes he would sit and watch people wash themselves. He created his alphabet like this:
- One long, two short, three short, one long...
Vasily Ivanovich, Anka is a provocateur!
- It can’t be, Petka, where did you get the idea?
“I’m walking past the bathhouse, and Anka leans out and waves her arms. I fly naked into the bathhouse, and they are having a party meeting there...
The husband follows his wife into the women's bathhouse. The bath attendant stops him and turns to the lady:
- Your husband is not allowed here!
- Why?
- Because he is a man.
- He's not a man. He is impotent.
The New Russian began to experience depression. The lads don't know what to do:
- Maybe you want something? There is enough money. We'll organize everything.
New Russian:
- I do not want anything. I'm already fed up with money. Maybe, if only - into nature. Relax.
Brothers:
- Canaries? Maldives? Malta?
New Russian:
- Not really. To a forest village. To the bathhouse. To the lake.
The lads are right in the Moscow region. We found a lake in the forest. The village was built. We bought a bathhouse and delivered it. The area for the beach in the forest was cut down on the southern side of the lake. They covered it with sand. Electric heaters were put into the lake (to maintain the water temperature). The trout were released into the lake. Fighters were hired to disperse the clouds. The New Russian has arrived. I went fishing. I took a steam bath in the bathhouse. I took a swim. He lies down sunbathing and thinks:
- Yes. Nature! No amount of money can buy it.
Putin and Trump argued over who has the better bathhouse. Trump says:
“I have it,” and invites Putin to wash.
Putin comes to the bathhouse and presses the red button. He is washed, steamed and dressed. Then Putin invites Trump to his bathhouse. Trump presses the red button, but nothing works. He washed himself, went out and said offendedly:
- Somehow your red button doesn’t work.
- How does this not work? Yes, you were shown on TV for an hour.
A man goes into the bathhouse and all the blacks are washing there. All blacks have black dicks, and one has white dicks. A man asks one:
- Why do all your blacks have black dicks, but this one has white dicks?
- We are not blacks, we are miners. And that miner got married yesterday.
One man tells a friend:
- I don’t go to the bathhouse anymore. They're not allowed into the women's room, and it's not interesting to go into the men's room.
Five Georgians come to the bathhouse, take out soap and suddenly it falls on the floor. One of them says:
- Well, damn it, we washed ourselves.
A man relaxes in a bathhouse with girls. Suddenly my wife calls.
- Darling, it’s already ten in the evening. Where have you been?
- Yes, I’m stuck in a traffic jam, damn it!
- Yes?.. Come on, beep.
Chukchi marries a Russian. After the wedding, the wife sniffed the air and asked:
-Have you ever gone to the bathhouse?
- Yes! But the first time I went, the war began. The second time he went, Stalin died. The third time I went, I lost my sweatshirt.
- Until you wash yourself, you won’t go to bed with me.
The twisted poor fellow went to the bathhouse with soap and a washcloth. He returns clean and happy. The wife asks:
- Well, did you like it?
- Not in this case! I found the sweatshirt. She was under my shirt!
A father and his little son wash themselves in a bathhouse.
“Dad,” the son points with his finger, “does mom have such a thing?”
- No, son, she uses mine.
If a naked man accidentally ends up in a women's bathhouse, the women squeal and splash boiling water at him. And if a naked girl goes into the men’s room, all the men are very happy, friendly and hospitable! This once again proves the kindness of a man's heart!
Two little boys in the bathhouse saw a man with a huge belly. Suitable for him:
- Uncle, what do you have there?
- Bomb!
“Let’s blow it up,” one boy says to the other.
- Nope. We won’t have time to escape, the wick is too short.
Three men in the bathhouse, two girls came to them:
- Oh, there are three of you, should we call a friend or pay extra?
- Girls, everything is fine, there are two of us, and Lyokhe and his wife are putting up with it today.
Two men came to the bathhouse. One has a shaved groin:
- What, my friend says with sympathy, mandavoshki?
- No, blowjob with chewing gum!
- Vasily Vanych, would you at least start a blog?
- Fleas, Petka, will infest themselves if you don’t go to the bathhouse for a long time...
A Chukchi is walking, leading a cow on a leash and dragging a pipe under his arm. Towards another Chukchi.
- Hello, neighbor!
- Great!
- Where are you going?
- However, geologists invited me to the bathhouse.
- Why a cow? “They told me, however, to come with my heifer.” - And the pipe? “But we’ll be buzzing all night.”
Two friends take a steam bath:
- Oh, Zin, your legs are crooked!
- Well, they’re good to go to work.
- Where are you going?
- Yes, buy eggs. - To the store or what?
- No, to the bathhouse...
- Hey, mine banned...
- Did he get a job as a system administrator for you?
- I went to the bathhouses with the girls!
In ancient China, baths were not divided into women's and men's, but when the population exceeded a billion, everyone realized that this was a mistake.
A man caught a goldfish and made a wish for it to have an orgasm with his wife at the same time. A week later he comes to the fish and says:
- Cancel the wish!
- Why?
- Yes, it’s somehow inconvenient, it turns out: we’re sitting with friends in the bathhouse, drinking beer and suddenly I cum!
— The terminator went to the bathhouse, dropped the soap, and bent over to pick it up. Suddenly the system message: - A new device has been detected.
— Kindergarten teachers forgot two Moldovan children in the sandbox. — By evening they had built a dacha, a bathhouse and a swimming pool.
Girls in the bathhouse:
- Val, why is your ass covered in bruises? Are you working as a prostitute?
- Not really. I go to Zaporozhets.
According to statistics, 70% of bathhouse visitors forget to wash, but 90% of them do not regret it at all.
A man and a woman come to the bathhouse, but the bathhouse attendant does not give them the same number. The man insists:
- But this is my wife!
- Oh, how neat she is! Today is the fourth time he has gone to the bathhouse!
— Three people came to the bathhouse: a hard worker, a director and a deputy. Take off your clothes, they look at each one - up to the knee... - The hard worker has his hands, the director has his belly, the deputy has his tongue...
A man comes into the bathhouse, and there are blacks washing themselves. All blacks have black dicks, and one has white dicks. The man asks:
- Why are all of you black and this one is white?
- We are not blacks, we are miners. And he got married yesterday.
***
One man tells a friend:
— I don’t go to the bathhouse anymore. They’re not allowed into the women’s room, and it’s not interesting to go into the men’s room.
Five Georgians come to the bathhouse, take out soap and suddenly it falls to the floor. One of them says:
- Well, damn it, we washed ourselves.
At three o'clock in the morning the call:
- Is this a bathhouse?
- No?
- Why are you standing there in your shorts?
- Hello, is this a morgue?
- No, this is a bathhouse.
- Damn, I need a morgue.
- Well, you wash yourself first.
In the bathhouse, one Chukchi rubs the back of another:
- Good job, however, the T-shirt has already appeared!
One blonde to another:
— Every year, on December 31, my girlfriends and I go to the bathhouse. What can you do, a few bucks aren't too much...
In the bath:
- Gogi, pick up the soap.
- You better pick up the soap, Givi.
- Okay, let's pick it up once and let's go.
In a rural school, due to the lack of anatomy textbooks... a hole in the wall of the bathhouse was approved by the Ministry of Education!
- Hello, dear, I'm in the sauna...
- And how is it there?
- Everything is as you always say - no women, only men!
Men are sitting in the bathhouse. The mobile phone is ringing. One picks up the phone:
- Yes, dear, what did you want? - A fur coat?
- Of course you can! Do you know where the money is? Fine! More boots! Yes please! And buy a handbag!
Turns off his mobile phone and asks:
— Guys, whose phone number?
- Hello, is this a brothel?
- No, this is a sauna...
- How can I call the brothel?
- Call back in an hour and a half or two.
The guy and the girl decided to go to the bathhouse. They approach, and the guard at the entrance says:
- Sorry, young man, but we can’t have our own!
Petka and Vasily Ivanovich are washing in the bathhouse, and Petka says:
- Vasily Ivanovich, your heels are dirtier than mine.
- So I’m so much older than you!
A Georgian walks through the city, sees a beautiful woman and says to her:
- Girl, girl, come with me to the bathhouse.
- Fool, impudent, idiot!
Well, if you don’t want to wash, go dirty!
Olya and Masha always dreamed of visiting the Tretyakov Gallery, but for some reason they were always taken only to the sauna...
- Just think, my sister went crazy: she pretended to be a man and went to serve in the army.
“But she’ll have to go to the soldier’s bathhouse!” With the men! Someone will definitely give it up!
- Who will give it up?!
Vovochka is washing with her mother in the bathhouse and notices her curly triangle.
- What is this, mommy!?
- This is such a washcloth! - Mom answers.
“You know, dad’s is better,” Vovochka notes in a businesslike manner, “he has a pen!”
Female and male: “A-ah-ah!!!”, when an individual of the opposite sex appears in the bathhouse, they sound differently.
Foreman Petrov can’t finish building his own dacha because he steals his own brick and builds a bathhouse out of it.
Two men enter the sauna and immediately jump out of the steam room, scalded. The temperature is prohibitive. They go to complain to the director, saying it’s impossible to tolerate.
- You will forgive our new bathhouse attendant. He is just mastering the temperature regime. It won’t help at all - a couple of days since I was transferred from the crematorium.
Fire in the women's bathhouse. Firefighters arrive, a man stands near the bathhouse:
- We're late, brothers, we're late!
- How late are you, the bathhouse is on fire?
“The bathhouse is on fire, but the naked women have already run away!”
If you dream that you are in a bathhouse, then the dream foretells you profitable deals and success.
If you accidentally entered a bathhouse in a dream, then you will encounter many difficulties that you did not expect. You will be able to safely cope with all the difficulties and troubles if in a dream you leave the bathhouse “dry”.
If the bathhouse is too hot, then expect trouble through your relatives.
A cold bath in a dream is a bad omen.
Being dressed in a bathhouse is a harbinger of worries and disappointments. See interpretation: clothes, wash, soap.
If in a dream you see a bathhouse and watch what is happening there, then grief, powerlessness, hopelessness, deception and disappointment await you.
Seeing a woman in a bathhouse is a harbinger of grief and worry; seeing a man is a harbinger of imminent financial difficulties.
Undressing in the bathhouse but not washing is a harbinger that someone will be angry with you for a short time.
The blood you see in the bathhouse is a bad omen and warns you of mortal danger.
Seeing people dancing and having fun in a bathhouse in a dream is a harbinger of an imminent and serious illness. The dream warns you that you should take care of your health. See interpretation: water, dance.
Taking a steam bath is a bad company that you will soon get tired of. Sometimes a dream predicts that you will be undeservedly offended.
However, if you felt very comfortable there, then pleasure and good news and profit await you. For a patient, such a dream predicts recovery from an illness.
A dream in which you wash in a bathhouse predicts that you will soon have problems at home or at work caused by rumors and slander that your enemies spread about you.
The dream foretells that shame and disgrace await you if you continue to behave imprudently and tell too much about yourself to everyone you meet. Sometimes such a dream portends you illness or a stop in business.
Washing with hot water is good for sick people. For healthy people, such a dream predicts obstacles in business. See interpretation: bath, swim.
If in a dream you see others washing in a bathhouse, then soon you will learn interesting news about the people you are interested in.
For a poor person to be in a bathhouse and see someone helping him is a sign of an imminent and long-term illness.
Singing songs and having fun in the bathhouse is a dream foreshadowing obstacles, losses, and sometimes imprisonment. See interpretation: music.
Emptying yourself in a bathhouse means shame and dishonor. In addition, you should be wary of the machinations of envious people and beware of taking part in dark and risky matters. See interpretation: shit, urine.
Interpretation of dreams from Family dream bookSubscribe to the Dream Interpretation channel!
Pinocchio, will you go to the sauna?
- Is there a wood-burning or electric stove?
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Kuzmich walks with a bag from which a broom sticks out, a woman sits on a bench.
- Where are you going, Kuzmich?
- Yes, “buy” eggs.
- So you got some money?
- No, I’m going to the bathhouse.
***********************************************************************************************
A man came to the bathhouse. The bathhouse attendant looks at him and marvels: the man’s underpants are made of lead!
- Hey, man, I’m sorry... I’ve seen all sorts of things, but this! Why do you need this armor?
- Yes, you see, radiation, Chernobyl... hooligans, again...
- Why don’t you have toes on your feet?
- Yes... one day the rubber band burst...
Chukchi, why are you going to the bathhouse with a vacuum cleaner?!
- Washing! However…
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In the bathhouse, two kids saw a naked man with a big belly.
They ask him:
- Uncle, what’s in your stomach?
- Bomb.
One speaks quietly to the other.
- Let's blow it up.
- Dangerous. The wick is very short.
A man and his wife came to the bathhouse, and the bath attendant said:
- I won’t let you into the same room!
Man:
- How? This is my wife!
Bath attendant:
- And like this! Out of principle. What a neat guy she is - this is the fourth time today she’s going to take a steam bath.
**************************************************************************************************************
The New Russian talks to the designer of his new dacha:
- In short, listen, I want there to be 5 more pools near my bathhouse: the first pool with hot water, the second with cold water, and the third - so that there is no water at all!
Designer:
- Everything is clear, except for the third pool - why without water???
New Russian:
- Well, you’re an eccentric, what’s not clear here. What if I have guests who don’t know how to swim?
***************************************************************************************************************
The husband says to his wife:
- Honey, in two days I want to go fishing with my friends,
and then go to Lenka’s bathhouse, drink beer, relax,
but don’t worry - there will be only men, not a single woman. You do not mind, do you?
His wife answers him:
- Of course, dear, go, no one will hold you by the horns.
****************************************************************************************************************
A man came to the bathhouse.
He got a high from the steam bath, was so happy, and joyfully leaves the steam room for the dressing room... and suddenly discovers that he forgot the towel at home. He looks around in confusion and then notices a notice on the wall:
“Citizens, please do not wipe yourself with curtains!”
With a satisfied smile he exclaims: -Oh, that’s a thought!!!
**********************************************************************
One new Russian asks another after a bath:
- Hey, you don’t know why we, the new Russians, have red faces after a bath???
- These are all damned jackets, they fade!
**************************************************************************
A man came to the bathhouse, stood at the cash register and asked:
M. -Is the bathhouse functioning?
From the cash register. -What-what?
M. - Well, is the bathhouse working?
From the cash register. A! It works, it works!
M. Does hot water circulate?
From the cash register. - What-what?
M. - Well, is there hot water?
From the cash register. - A! There is water!
M. - Then give me a ticket for ONE PERSON. From the cash register.
- Look what! What, you won’t wash your ass?
****************************************************************************
Sauna. A bunch of guys are lying side by side in different corners after drinking.
The cell phone is ringing. One of the brothers takes the pipe:
- Yes?
- Honey, here’s a Mercedes 600, pearlescent, I’ve always wanted one, can I buy it?
- Take...
Some time passes, the call rings again. The same brother picks up the phone:
- Well?
- Oh, dear, there’s this necklace with shorts, I’ve always dreamed of this, can I buy it?
- Take...
Some time passes, the call rings again. Brother can't stand it:
- Behind...! Bros, WHOSE CELL IS IT?!
*****************************************************************************
Call girls on the phone:
- Good night, tell me, can I order girls?
- Yes, sure.
- Will you give me a ride to the bathhouse?
- Yes, of course, they will be there in half an hour.
- Tell me, are there any boys?
- Yes, are you interested in active or passive?
- Yes, in general, it’s all the same, so we’ll take a steam bath, drink beer, s.... everything - for the logical conclusion, it would be necessary to somehow pi.... stuff your face.
**********************************************************************************************
A phone call woke me up. After yesterday's corporate bath
it was extremely cruel. The slightly roughened voice of our Mashenka:
- Hello, I hope I didn’t wake you?
- No, what are you... I usually don’t sleep at all - I don’t have such a habit.
- Sorry, listen, didn’t you bother me yesterday?
- No, of course, why suddenly?!
- Do you know who could have me... well...
- It seems like no one tried... I don’t know...
- (disappointed) then, probably, the husband...
*************************************************************************************************
A father and his little son wash themselves in a bathhouse.
“Dad,” the son points with his finger, “does mom have such a thing?”
“No, son,” the father sighs, “mom doesn’t have such a thing, she uses mine.”
***************************************************************************************************
Wife to husband:
- I went to the bathhouse with my friends, do you have any wishes?
- No, of course, you won’t take a video camera with you all the time.
****************************************************************************************************
A man comes to the bathhouse, and it’s Women’s Day in the bathhouse.
The man says to the watchman:
- Come on, while no one is there, I’ll quickly wash myself and leave.
The watchman allowed him. The man is happy, soaped up, washes, and steams.
And, as luck would have it, two women came up to wash.
The man from the car wash heard them, stood under the door and listened.
- Man! And I was in a bathhouse in America, there are these statues in the sink, you pull your penis, and she gives you a broom, you pull again and she gives you a basin.
Well, without thinking twice, the man grabs a broom and a basin and stands in the corner like a statue.
- Man, look, they installed the same ones here too!
Then the woman came up, pulled once - the man gave her a broom, pulled a second time - the man gave her a basin. And the second one came up, tugged, tugged and said:
- Lyubka! Look! She also gives you shampoo!
*************************************************************
Sweaty and happy:
- Korean after lunch.
- Frenchman after sex.
- Russian after the bath.
******************************************************************************
Snow White went to the bathhouse, and the seven dwarfs decided to spy... Well, they come to the bathhouse, and there is a window at the very top. We decided this: we stand on each other’s shoulders, and the one at the top will tell everything. Done...
Top says:
- She came in.
(from top to bottom): entered...entered...entered...
- She sat down. Sat down... sat down... sat down.. (7 times)
- Undresses. undresses..(7 times)
- Got up And at me... and at me... and at me... and at me... and at ME
*******************************************************************************
The bathhouse is divided into two parts: Finnish sauna and Russian porn.
=========================================================================================
Putin and Clinton argued over who has the better bathhouse. Clinton says, “I have it,” and invites Putin to take a shower. Putin comes to the bathhouse and presses the red button. He is washed, steamed and dressed. Putin then invites Clinton to his bathhouse. Clinton presses the red button, but nothing works. He washed himself, went out and said offendedly:
- Somehow your red button doesn’t work.
- How does this not work? Yes, you were shown on TV for an hour.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=
The hedgehog asks the hare:
- My left hand itches, what’s this for?
- To the money.
- What if it’s right?
- To the guests.
- What if it’s the right leg?
- You will walk a lot.
- What if it’s the left leg?
- Hedgehog, you washed yourself or something!
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