The answer to the question why not all attractive women are happy in their personal lives.
Sexual attractiveness, of course, depends on external data. It would be absurd to deny this. A man loves with his eyes. Of course, everyone’s tastes are different: some people like fit, athletic girls, some like fragile and delicate princesses, some like cheerful, plump ladies. But there are things that no one likes. Even if you look exactly like he imagined in his dreams, these 20 little things can cool his ardor.
Photo by Getty Images
1. Vulgar behavior
Vulgar women can be seen from afar, sometimes even heard. They speak loudly, laugh loudly and are not shy in their expressions. Bright makeup, provocative clothing and frank flirting aimed at all males at the same time. All this can be described in one word – “too much”. Such women certainly attract attention, but more like a talking cockatoo than an attractive woman.
2. Insincerity
Insincerity is always felt by the interlocutor. Even if a man is not sure that they are telling lies on his ears, he subconsciously feels the falsehood. Trying to impress a man when meeting him, girls sometimes go too far. Thus, a fan of Olga Buzova’s work becomes a connoisseur of rock music of the eighties, and a homebody to the core tells tall tales about mountain hikes and incredible adventures.
3. Excessive frankness
Being open and sincere is great, but at least some mystery should be left. There are things that a man, especially a stranger, simply does not need to know. The list of stop topics includes the pros and cons of ex-men, women's diseases, any gossip and rumors, family secrets. A frank story in great detail about a trip to the gynecologist looks ridiculous and repulsive on a date with a man.
4. Mental emptiness
You can attribute errors in punctuation to a lack of education, you can forgive ignorance of Ohm’s law, but you cannot ignore the spiritual emptiness. A woman without her own interests and hobbies, who does not read books and does not consider it necessary to somehow educate herself and develop herself, will cool the ardor of any worthy man.
Photo by Getty Images
5. Commercialism
Money is important. There is a material component in any relationship, even the highest. But judging, let alone condemning a person for his appearance is not expensive enough for you, laughing at his insufficiently prestigious job and openly extorting gifts is definitely not about female attractiveness. Men, even wealthy and generous ones, are scared off by this manner of behavior.
6. Coldness
Inaccessibility is of interest, but within reasonable limits. Men need at least small signs that you are interested in their company. Why beat yourself to pieces for the sake of a cold and inaccessible rock? We are all looking for love, warmth, affection, so in a relationship no one needs an incredibly beautiful, but emotionless “snow queen”.
7. Availability
A woman who agrees to everything, is ready for anything, forgives everything and never refuses – is a very convenient and simple option that gets boring for men very quickly. A man will not be able to appreciate a woman if he has not spent any effort to conquer her. He invests his soul, time, imagination, money, emotions into a woman dear to his heart. This is the only way a woman becomes special, important, loved for him.
8. Lacks pride
If a man refuses, doubts or is not active towards you, then the worst solution would be to try to convince him and prove how wonderful you are. In such cases, you need to call on all your feminine pride to the rescue and walk beautifully into the sunset. If a man is at least a little interested in you, then your disappearance will hurt him, and he will become more active. If not, then this is not your man. In any situation, remember your self-esteem and do not allow anyone to belittle your importance.
Photo by Getty Images
9. Excessive emotionality
It's okay to be honest about your emotions. Men love sincere laughter, genuine surprise, and even appreciate it when women directly say that they are upset or dissatisfied with something. But, again, a sense of proportion is very important, because scandalous ladies, hysterics and crybabies are very difficult to love.
10. Bad manners
There are different situations in life, but self-control, politeness and respect should always be with you. Let a man who is unpleasant to you show attention to you, let a waiter be rude to you, let a work colleague dump all the dirty work on you - it doesn’t matter, control yourself. In order to put a person in his place, it is not necessary to stoop to a disrespectful tone or rudeness.
11. Bad habits
Most men really have a negative attitude towards the bad habits of girls. But let's be realistic: men are ready to forgive some habits of beautiful women with a light heart. Monica Bellucci, for example, has not lost a single fan because she eats a lot of pasta and can afford a glass of wine. Of course, if they do not go beyond the bounds of reason. It is unlikely that anyone will like a woman who has problems with alcohol or a heavy smoker.
12. Unhealthy feminism
Feminism is wonderful. This is a movement that defends women's rights. Fighting for the right to work and equal pay, the right to property, education and equal marriage rights is a good cause. But sometimes feminism takes on an unhealthy appearance. Women do have the right not to shave their armpits or try to lose weight. Just as they have the right to keep their body perfectly smooth and pumped up. But for some reason, ardent, incorrect feminists consider a well-groomed body a betrayal of their ideology. Men don’t like such ardent and incorrect people.
13. Complexes
The complexes do not depend on external data. Even a very attractive woman can be insecure. But without inner harmony and respectful attitude towards yourself, it is impossible to build a happy relationship. Men always feel insecure and on a subconscious level do not take such women seriously.
As a wife or life partner, any man dreams of having a woman who is a little less intelligent, a little less educated, a little less focused on professional success and a little more focused on housekeeping.
I was 19-20 years old and I studied not just anywhere, but at a university at a terribly ideological philosophy department. With all the ensuing consequences, such as spiritual quests, wanderings and the construction of various kinds of social theories.
According to one of them, which, by the way, in some respects I still adhere to, all humanity is divided into the following categories: stupid, not stupid, smart and very smart. There were two more extremes - idiots and geniuses, but I deliberately discard them, because both are pathologies that do not fit into any framework.
Life is easier for fools.
Of course, I assigned myself, my beloved, the third step in this hierarchy: smart. Which greatly offended her friend, putting her in the category of not stupid. But, oddly enough, I didn’t feel any satisfaction from the arrogant recognition of my own intelligence (as, incidentally, I don’t feel it now). Even then, at the age of twenty, I began to understand that intelligence does not bring happiness to a woman. The smarter a woman is, the more difficult it is for her to arrange her personal life. I remember that during another quarrel with my father (according to my gradation - a very smart man), I reproached him with the phrase: I wish I was a fool!
Why is this? - the father was taken aback.
Yes, because fools have an easier life!
Let's start with the fact that boys from our faculty, of whom there was no shortage, despite the humanitarian orientation of their studies, girls from our faculty were bypassed - they had more than enough female boiling and gushing minds at the seminars. Personal life should not be confused with scientific discussion. So marriages, although they happened, were not as frequent as they could have been.
I didn’t make friends on the streets, I didn’t go to discos - in a word, I led a rather reclusive lifestyle. Rare casual acquaintances ended in nothing, as soon as I uttered the name of the faculty.
Woohoo! - the boy said politely and walked away.
It got to the point of absurdity. One day my friend, the smart one, accused me of ruining her personal life! Do you know why? Yes, because thanks to me she became a little wiser, which immediately affected her relationships with young people. For some reason they wanted to see her as just a pretty fool. You will say - nonsense! And you'll be right. This state of affairs is truly nonsense! But the fact nevertheless remains a fact.
Since then... I won’t say how many years have passed. Over the years I - alas! - I didn’t become stupid. Quite the contrary. They say that you can drink your mind away, but a person who doesn’t drink, and without a shadow of a doubt I can classify myself in this category of citizens, is clearly not in danger of losing his mental abilities in this way. So, over the years I have not become stupid. Senile insanity is still a long way off. And one day I was surprised to discover that I was surrounded entirely by smart, but at the same time completely unsettled women in family terms. Some, like me, have been married, others have never been. And everything is lonely! No, I’m lying, there is one who is married. Smart woman. For which she is subjected to endless, seemingly playful, but still insults from her husband. And he endures. I would have sent such a husband long ago.
Let it be a little stupider.
Now the men will be indignant: slander, slander, vile insinuations! We love smart women!
Love who is arguing. But at the same time, you prefer that they be somewhat stupider than you, or at least pretend to be so. Remember Raikin’s “tova-arove-eda” monologue: let us have everything, but at the same time let us not have at least something! That's how it is here. She may be smart, but still a little dumber than me! After all, it’s such a pleasure for a man to say to a woman with admiration (surprise, regret, censure: what a fool you are! Or - in another version, affectionately: you’re my stupid one!
Many women, trying to save their family, follow the path of pretense. But to pretend that you are stupider than a man... Oooh, you have to be a very smart and very patient woman! Otherwise, the man will instantly see through the pretender, and then the situation will develop in strict accordance with the famous aphorism of Viktor Stepanych Chernomyrdin: they wanted the best, but it turned out as always.
But the main thing is that a man must be worthy of a woman pretending. But this is already a big rarity! As a rule, a man wants to be smarter simply by birthright. Alas! When I was a teacher at one of the Tyumen universities, I made one small discovery: the most modest and seemingly most inconspicuous students, who did not stand out in terms of intelligence or appearance, got married before the long-legged beauties of their fellow students. Does this mean that for men, beauty and intelligence are not the main thing? Probably, it’s not about them, but about the girl’s adequate assessment of her capabilities: gray mice “don’t dig” into suitors. They take what life sends them, rightly believing that if they are given the chance to live with their spouse for many years, so it will be, but if not, beauty and intelligence will not save them.
And this position, it must be admitted, is much more advantageous than that of those girls who seem to happily combine intelligence and appearance, but remain unclaimed by men. The problem is that smart and beautiful women want a lot from this life: a good education, an interesting job, a decent income. They achieve all this, but at the same time they are faced with the harsh reality: a man does not need a woman with high
social status.
Because such a woman must correspond. You need to reach out to her. But a man either does not want to do this due to his character, or cannot - due to a lack of intelligence. Which results in wild complexes, scandals in the family and often divorce. And therefore, as a wife, a life partner, any man dreams of having a woman who is a little less intelligent, a little less educated, a little less focused on professional success and a little more focused on housekeeping.
Would you say it's not so? And I'll tell you a story.
Story one.
Natalya S. is a higher school teacher. Graduated from Moscow State University. Great smart girl. Iron logic. Irrepressible fantasy. Computer memory. A wonderful housewife, mother and wife. But... divorced. Interestingly, her husband left her for a primary school teacher. "You need a fool who will look into your mouth!" - Natalya said to her husband in anger. "Maybe you're right!" - he easily agreed. After some time, Natalya met Alexander. She has a PhD thesis and twenty years of teaching experience, he has 25 years of service and the rank of colonel. “You’re good,” he once told her, “but I won’t marry you. You’re too smart for a wife.” But a woman's presence of mind is not all that a man fears. He also cannot stand it if the social status of a woman is higher than his, smart, beautiful and incredibly talented!
The second story.
Irina Z., 39 years old, deputy director of the Tyumen branch of a Moscow trading company. Divorced. Daughter is 19 years old. Irina met V. - a very interesting man, in her opinion. At the very first meetings, I realized that he was, if not an ideal, then at least something close to the ideal: smart, educated, with a sense of humor and tact (a rarity these days!). They spent some time together. But for some reason, completely intuitively, Irina hid from her new acquaintance where and who she worked for. And for good reason. One day, beaming with joy, V. told her that he had purchased a “Zaporozhets” and promised that he would pick her up at work. “I won’t go on the Zaporozhets,” Irina said quietly but firmly. “For me, this is undignified. It does not correspond to my status.” V. disappeared for a while, and then called and said with regret that they would not meet again - they were too different people.
Remember the favorite melodrama of all women of the Soviet Union, “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears” - it’s exactly about this. Which of the three heroines of the film do you think is Vladimir Menshov’s ideal? Tonya, of course! Although the director himself is unlikely to admit this. A pretty village simpleton, Limita, grabbed herself a tasty morsel - nothing but nondescript, with a bald spot, without manners or gloss, but with a Moscow residence permit, from a completely respectable bourgeois family, whose ideal of family happiness is a cozy house outside the city, beds with onions and strawberries, jars of cucumbers and tomatoes and evening tea on the veranda. Idyll!
The complete opposite is Lyudmila. Here she is, a lonely woman, as a man perceives her - as they say, without embellishment: a bitch, a predator, whose meaning of life is only to snag a richer, more respectable, more grounded peasant - a professor or a general. But excuse me, why condemn her if the main idea of the film is: a woman should be with her husband. So she is looking for him in every way available to her. And even the main character Katya does not stand out from this series: she needs a husband! For what?!! Smart, beautiful, she has achieved everything in life, she raised her daughter, which means she fulfilled her natural destiny, director of the plant, deputy! But there is no husband, only a weak-willed lover.
And then Gosha, aka Goga, aka Zhora, comes across her hand: a mysterious superman. He's so great! A typical first-generation intellectual, stuffed to the brim with male complexes, openly suffering from misogyny and striving to overcome his fears by suppressing the personality of the opposite sex.
Having barely met a woman, he drags her to a picnic, where friends vied with each other to sing his praises, and he, spreading his tail like a peacock, flaunts himself, basking in the rays of their eloquence: that’s what I am! At the same time, he lives like a biryuk in a hole, completely alone in his little room in a communal apartment, mind you. And this despite the fact that he works at a research institute, where, as you understand, young girls and women are, excuse me, like dirt. But: with all his talents and positive qualities, a mechanic is not interested in a woman - a researcher who is focused on a partner from her circle.
This is how the most important complex develops: a woman should not have a higher social status. And even more so receive a higher salary. Remember that feeling of superiority that sounds in Gosha’s answer to Alexandra’s question about his salary: “Yes, it’s more than your mother’s!”
And what is the value of the statement “I will decide everything myself on the simple basis that I am a man”? Whether it’s bad or good, it’s the way he wants... Remember the scene at dinner, where Katya finds out that Gosha and his friends taught Alexandra’s would-be suitors a lesson. Katya has an iron note in her voice: “I’ll ask that next time, without my permission...” She doesn’t have time to finish: Gosha is about to get up and leave, and, catching herself, scared, Katya retreats: “Sorry...” But what a slap in the face to a man: a woman allows herself to dictate the rules of the game to him!
Meanwhile, Katya is losing one position after another. Just think, a stranger comes to her house - with his charter to a strange monastery! Please note: it is he who comes to Katya’s two-room director’s apartment, and not she to his communal apartment, where the furniture consists of a table, chair and bed. She takes responsibility for her daughter’s life, and Katerina agrees to anything just to belong to a man! Just some kind of apologetics for house-building. And more than one generation of our girls has been brought up on this!
The most dramatic moment of the film is the scene where Gosha finds out that his chosen one is the director, and even hid this fact from him! Gosha cannot survive such a blow to male pride. In the movies, of course, he returns to Katya, but, rest assured, in life he would recoup the humiliation he experienced a hundred times over.
But this is a movie. In life, you say, everything is wrong. If! Once I had a chance to talk with the head of the administration of one of the districts of the Tyumen region. “I am the needle, my wife is the thread,” he said about his life partner. “Everything is as it should be with us: I am a man, a breadwinner, she is a woman, she takes care of the family and me.”
And finally, one more simple “Life Story”
At first glance, this is a completely ordinary and prosperous Tyumen family: she graduated from art school and showed great promise. He is a geologist, in the summer he wandered through the taiga, in the winter he sat in his office. Their destinies crossed, and she was the first to notice his ability to draw. She taught me how to hold a brush and pencil, dilute paints, and prime canvases. She helped take the first steps and hold the first exhibitions. He “went uphill,” and meanwhile she raised the children, cooked dinners, and washed his socks and shirts. Today he is a recognized master, and she hasn’t picked up a brush for many years. When I once tried to express my critical remarks about one of his paintings, I received a wonderful slap in the face: “Who are you to judge my work?!”
This is our Russian mentality: an intelligent woman puts her life on the altar of serving a man. Without any hope of recognition or gratitude.
You admire your friend's ring again - she has been dating her lover for only six months, and he has already proposed to her. But your relationship never reaches even the third date, not to mention the fact that no one offers you marriage. And you constantly ask yourself: “why don’t men love me?” Why do men carry some women in their arms, but do not pay attention to others?
I want to get married, but the relationship ends quickly
The obsessive desire to get married can scare men away. Even if he completely shares your views on life, he prefers to make decisions himself. In addition, men often worry that their partner wants to get married because it’s supposed to be so, all their friends are already married, and their parents demand grandchildren, and not for the sake of living together with him.
A man should take care of a woman, but he shows no interest in me
Forget about the word should. Men value their independence very much. If he feels that his freedom in the relationship will be limited, your romance will never continue. One of the main problems of many women is that they place too many demands on a potential candidate.
I try to dress brighter, but men are in no hurry to get acquainted
There is an opinion that men like beautiful women. So it is, but with a small caveat - beautiful and well-groomed, and not beautiful and provocative. When dressing up for men, the main thing is not to overdo it - an overly bright and vulgar outfit will only lead a man to have ambiguous thoughts about where you work. Such women scare men away, and they try to stay away from them.
The men I talk to don't want relationships
In fact, of course, they are needed. A normal, accomplished man wants a relationship - they value comfort in the home, regular sex and having a close and understanding person nearby. But in order for a man to decide on a relationship, you need to meet his criteria. Learn to be an interesting conversationalist and a promising partner in the eyes of men.
Men pay attention to other women, but not to me
Have you noticed that other women around you are literally basking in attention from men, but you hardly get any of it. Most likely, the fact is that they consider themselves attractive and sexy - it is this confidence in themselves and in their merits that attracts men like a magnet.
I can't get a man interested on the first date
Pay attention to what you say in a meeting with him and how well you listen. Tell him about what you like, about your hobbies and work - let him know that you are a serious and interesting woman. Do not ask a man how much he earns and how - this will establish you as a mercantile person who wants to ensure a comfortable existence for himself.
Men like stupid women, but trying to act like a fool leads nowhere
Stupid women are liked only by insecure men, or those who only want to satisfy their sexual desires. If you want a serious man, you need to interest him. Men love women who strive to achieve something in life and are interested not only in themselves.
I don't know where to meet an interesting man
Today you can meet a decent man almost anywhere. If you are hesitant to approach a man at a party, find places where your potential partners hang out - for example, enroll in a programming course, a motorcycle school, or take up any extreme sport. Finding a common language in a relaxed atmosphere is much easier.
Ask your friends to introduce you to their acquaintances who may be a suitable match for you - there will probably be many interesting men among them.
And finally, the Internet provides enormous opportunities - today the easiest way to meet someone is online. If you are not confident in yourself and are embarrassed to talk to a man “live”, try starting a dialogue with the man you like online.
I can't meet a man on my own
If you lack self-confidence and you don’t dare approach the man you’re interested in yourself, arrange for him to approach you himself. Try to attract his attention - straighten your back, make sure your movements are graceful, and carry yourself with dignity. Smile at him, hold your gaze on him - this way he will understand that you are interested in him, and it will be easier for him to decide on specific actions. Remember that men can be insecure too.
I don't find myself attractive enough
To attract an interesting man, you need to love yourself. Treat yourself with love and respect, stand up for your principles in life and don’t settle for less than you deserve. Engage in self-improvement - acquiring new skills, expanding your horizons and working on yourself will help you feel more confident in your own abilities and attractive - men will definitely feel and appreciate this.
The article talks about the use of women. Well, let's honestly paraphrase the main idea of the article. Do women love men or do they love stability, financing and the opportunity to live with someone as a couple or have a family? Sometimes many people mean by “love” the same thing as men “have and I’m sleeping.” What did you mean when you spoke about the difference between men and women? Their relationship with the opposite sex? Well, there is absolutely no difference here. Ask those who say “I love” what they mean in relation to their partner in this concept. And again, you will end up with something that I don’t like, but certain interests, as you defined “I like to eat”; well, for women, I would expand cooking somewhat, and add one more concept: “I like for everyone to see what I eat.”
Because what can we call those families in which husbands run away from home to friends and to places where, in their opinion, there is a community of interests and understanding. There are very few families where people have a community of interests and a community of views and who are not bored with each other. Why is there a flurry of divorces in the period when children grow up? Yes, because people lived and pulled the burden of obligations. And when the need for them disappears and they remain with each other, it turns out that they are completely different and strangers. With different interests, with essentially different lives.
did you want to say that men and women have different interests and views on life? Where did you get the idea. I agree that an educated woman has nothing to talk about with a tram boor. All that can unite them is physiology, that is, sex. In fact, there are no more points of contact. The same goes for everything else. When I talk about the circle of friends, I meant community of goals, community of views, community of interests, community of tastes, preferences. From this position, we choose friends better than life partners, and this applies to both men and women.
.Where people have something to talk about and what to discuss. If this is not the case, but there is a “community of consumers of each other”, then it’s clear that some are “chicks”, others are “goats”.
To love to feel and understand this, and also to feel the need for a person not only at the level of animal instincts. Because even in this matter you can try to get fire. that is, having banal sex. But you can make love, that is, feel your partner the same way he feels you. And these are very different things, sex and love. A man who knows how and is capable of making love will never say a bad thing about a woman, even if she deserves it. Believe me, I’ve worked only with men for too long. And I know how a “rabbit” is all “stupid women”, like a standing man, the definitions are completely different. It’s not without reason that they say that an ordinary man gives you a headache, but a real one makes you dizzy.
Therefore, before asking the question of men’s consumption of women and the difference in perception, you need to ask whether women either love or cover up their consumption and their interests with a common phrase.
90% of people on the planet want to love and be loved, but only 10% know how to do this and are able to love. The rest simply pass off anything as this feeling, most often an elementary interest in someone. Hence, in families there are quarrels, scandals, resentments, and “goats with bastards,” “with goats and heifers.”
if the example in the article about a new dress is given to demonstrate that a man is not able to understand and appreciate a woman’s updates. You are wrong here too. The problem is that when purchasing a new thing, a woman does not take into account the tastes and views of a man. Not all, but the majority. She takes upon herself the right to think for him, and count on his behalf. Therefore, she often ends up in exactly the position that the man not only doesn’t notice the dress, but is indifferent, because he doesn’t think that it emphasizes something in a woman or suits her.
Just for fun, if you have a good relationship with your husband, go shopping and offer to choose something new for you and then choose at your own discretion. And I think you will be very surprised how different things you and your husband will choose for you. The same applies to shoes. When choosing shoe woman looks at model. spins around in front of the mirror. But if she had ever seen how beautifully she walks in these shoes, how attractive she is or not through the eyes of another person. She would also be extremely surprised.
A man will notice a new thing, and a woman is wearing shoes only when she wears it beautifully, and when what she has chosen will be impeccable on her.
It just seems that men don’t see anything. They perfectly notice how we crawl like spiders and herons with a martyr’s face on our shoes. How our necklines and incisions open up, places that we would like to hide if a woman saw herself from the outside, how she looks. For many, it’s sexy , things look beautiful, impressive when they hang or stand. But when we put them on and start walking, all our shortcomings and the calculation that “you can’t see from behind” are very noticeable to men. Watch them how they look at women. And if you’re lucky, a man will tell you what he thinks. You will hear a lot of interesting things from him. You didn’t even know about them. Men notice our mistakes very well. They generally notice everything. But they prefer not to discuss it with us.
If a man doesn’t appreciate your dress, conclude that you made a mistake with your choice. He won’t criticize so as not to offend you, but there won’t be any enthusiasm either.
So all the questions about the difference between men and women are more made up. If you don’t want to hear the rude opinions of men, just choose a different circle of friends. A man who allows himself to insult women even behind their backs first of all says that he himself has huge problems in this regard. The same goes for the woman speaking about her companion that he is a “goat” and a “bastard”, first of all, it says that she is an unhappy woman.
Loading...
