After several years of married life, couples notice that they are mired in the swamp of everyday life and family routine. Their relationship is completely different from what it was before the wedding, although the feelings have not gone away, they have transformed into something more. Some put up with this state of affairs and look for a way out in a career, a hobby, or simply lead a boring life, while others are looking for ways to diversify their family life and revive their faded passion. We offer you 7 ways to help make your family life brighter.
1. Pleasant surprises for your loved one
Your “other half” deserves to make her happy. So please! Do what she likes. It’s not at all necessary to give your wife a hundred and one roses or your husband a set of new fishing rods, just do what he or she likes. Get up fifteen minutes earlier and prepare breakfast in bed. Bring something tasty in the evening, and emphasize that it was bought with your “other half” in mind. Give a small nice gift - just like that, for no reason. Just, I beg you, avoid “everyday” gifts or gifts that hint at your spouse’s shortcomings! No pots and vacuum cleaners, no gym memberships - of course, unless your spouse asked for it himself, and you are absolutely sure of this.
2. Sex
This belongs to the category of well-known truths that everyone forgets about. Sex (ideally) is what distinguishes your friendship from love; it is the concentration of passion and love. So do it more often! Of course, we may get tired of each other over time, but there are many ways to update your relationship in bed: from new places for him to updating your wardrobe. Beautiful erotic lingerie is, no matter how trite, a fairly effective method of restoring lost desire. Try new things: new places, new positions, new ways. A lot of literature has been written on this topic, and you can learn even more by simply talking frankly with each other. Take action! The husband who rushes home from work because his wife told him on the phone what she plans to do with him in the evening, or the wife who rolls her eyes in admiration when her friends ask “how’s the family?” - one of the best guarantees of a lasting marriage.
3. Arrange your life
In general, everyday life should worry you as little as possible. An ideal home is also a home where there are no things that irritate the eyes. Fix everything that is broken, buy all the gadgets that can help you make things easier. Put aside stereotypes about “male” and “female” affairs, the presence of a Y chromosome does not at all bring a bonus of love for fixing plumbing or the ability to drill, and its absence does not at all guarantee that you will definitely like to cook or tinker with children. Do what you do best, leave the rest to the experts. By the way, about shifting: it is quite possible to agree on a redistribution of responsibilities, because what seems unpleasant to you may seem quite acceptable to your partner. Make sure that you have as few reasons as possible to reproach and nag each other.
4. Make claims, but don’t nag.
One of the worst habits in family life, which can turn you from a lover or sweetheart into a bore you don’t want to come home to, is the habit of nagging. Of course, you definitely need to tell your partner about what doesn’t suit you; moreover, this is one of the guarantees of a calm life together and that you won’t explode one day from unspoken anger. But repeating it over and over again if you are not understood is pointless. Think for yourself: you have told him or her so many times that you shouldn’t do this (or, on the contrary, you need to do something), but he (or she) doesn’t seem to hear! Ask yourself: why repeat this again? If you are not heard, it means you are acting incorrectly. Perhaps your spouse does not understand the significance of what you want from him, or for some reason it is easier for him to agree with you than to explain to you why you should not do this (an alarming sign, by the way). Change your tactics. Explain differently, act differently if it's really important to you. And in general, think about it: is this really so important to you? Does not being able to put dishes away in the sink really drive you crazy? Is an empty pot in the refrigerator really worth the scandal? If yes, change tactics and act so that you are finally heard and understood. Endless repetition and sawing will not lead to anything - nothing good, at least.
5. Be alone
Children are the flowers of life, and the parents who raised us, undoubtedly, must be respected. But a married couple sometimes needs to be alone with each other - at least just to pay attention only to their partner, without being distracted by other people.
Children: There's nothing wrong with asking someone to babysit or hiring a babysitter for a quiet evening. From the time of birth, your attention, once divided between two people, is now divided into many more parts, and it is difficult to realize that your love is not divided equally (at least, it should not be). Stay alone, allow yourself “outings” without children or the opportunity to spend an evening just the two of you.
Parents and other relatives: if you have the opportunity to separate, do it! Not because they are bad, treat your spouse badly, treat you badly, or anything like that. It’s just that each of us should have the opportunity to feel independent. Decide for yourself how to build your life, what job to choose and, finally, what to cook for dinner - without other people's advice and other people's opinions. There is a good saying: love for relatives is proportional to the distance to them. Of course, you shouldn’t go to the other side of the world; sometimes it’s enough to live in neighboring apartments - but your family should have its own, personal space, where only you are the masters. This will help you associate your partner only with himself, so that “mom, dad, grandma and their dog” do not subconsciously come into play.
6. Find good traits
Why did you fall in love with your spouse? Let it be even the funniest and stupidest things like “she smiles sweetly” or “he is ticklish.” Remember them often. Make sure that your spouse more often demonstrates the qualities that you like so much in him. Is your husband strong and caring? Let him show it again and again, because both you and he like it. Does your wife laugh very beautifully? Give her reasons to laugh with happiness! Many of the good sides of our “halves” manifest themselves in contact with us - so take advantage of it.
7. Say “I love you” over and over again.
Many people will probably disagree with me, but I believe that there can never be too many words “I love you”. And the fact that a “real man” should show this only in action, but remain silent like a partisan is stupidity, and a “real woman” pretend that she loves less is even greater stupidity. Words have great power. Words repeated often have the power of suggestion and self-hypnosis. Express your feelings in every way you can - both deeds and words. Think for yourself: wouldn’t you be pleased if morning and evening were accompanied by a declaration of love? If your partner convinced you of their love over and over again, as if they were still trying to win you over? As if you haven’t lived together for so many years, but you still go on dates like you did then for the first time? So try to start with yourself, and you will see how your “half” will blossom in response. Show your love – including with words.
If you are bored with your “ordinary” sex life or want to show a man that you are “something else,” here are tips on how you can diversify your relationship.
Let's start with clothes
Often, to change your sex life for the better, you can start small - buy new erotic lingerie, a lace peignoir, for the more advanced - a costume for a nurse, flight attendant, housekeeper, student . These are traditional images of sexual fantasies of the stronger sex, desperately promoted by men's magazines. 99 percent of men are delighted. But wearing one suit is not enough - you also need to behave accordingly, let the game of master and housekeeper or student and teacher become fun for both of you.
Adding "soft and fluffy"
Touching arouses desire and liberates. In sexual life, not only touching with hands and lips is important - other soft and fluffy objects can excite much more, sexologists say. Therefore, if you want to diversify your sex life, stock up on handcuffs, feathers, tassels, and fur braids. When you use them, blindfold your partner, so he can focus on the touch and surrender to pleasure, throwing all problems out of his head. Sexologists also, if possible, advise making love on a fur carpet or animal skin.
We are writing an erotic novel
Sexologists, together with psychologists, unanimously affirm - if you want to know the erotic preferences and fantasies of your partner, offer to write him an erotic novel or at least a short story together . A nuance - you should write on behalf of a man, and your man on behalf of a woman - this way you will show each other how your partner sees his sexual partner. The more details, the better!
You can also draw
If partners are embarrassed to express their desires and preferences in sex in “text” form, offer to draw . This is a great way to relax and tune into the right wave. It’s great, again, if you draw together, each to your own, and then share your fantasies with each other. As sexologists say, while drawing, the imagination runs wild and an irresistible desire appears to try everything in practice. Plus, you can see what kind of women your man fantasizes about.
Find new places to have sex
New places ignite passion much more effectively than a home bed that has been explored far and wide. . Try to spice up your sex life by trying new places. The simplest option is a sauna. Take aromatic candles and massage oils with you, you can arrange and rent a real massage room in some salon and give your partner an erotic massage with aromatic oils. If you don’t know how, read our material. There are many options, use your imagination, new sensations will not keep you waiting. Other options - a car, a secluded beach, a haystack, a boat in the middle of the river, you can think of many.
Dance
Dancing together not only brings people closer together, but also helps in attraction. Choose passionate dances - Latin, tango or salsa. If your partner doesn’t want to dance at all, do it yourself, sign up for belly dancing lessons or stiplastics. Sexually, you will definitely be liberated, you will be able to bring new notes of passion and fire into the relationship, and on occasion, demonstrate your dancing skills to a man.
Fantasize about the man of your dreams
This primarily concerns women. Since our brain and sexual zones work in tandem, why not get creative. Imagine the man of your dreams and the most vivid erotic fantasies that you carefully hid in your subconscious. Naturally, with him. Sexologists claim that after just a month of such “training” you will be in bed and think and act in a new way, which will significantly revive your sex life.
For
Olga Koroleva fantasized All rights reserved
Many married couples, after years of marriage, notice that they have lost interest in each other. In the modern world, unfortunately, this trend is becoming “younger” - it happens that even in the first year of family relationships, spouses do not feel mutual attraction. This does not always mean that partners are not suitable for each other, even more so - in most cases the situation can be corrected in a few simple steps. The main thing is not to be afraid to be frank with each other, as well as with yourself. How can spouses find mutual understanding and find the very button responsible for harmony and passion in the family? What reasons most often cause sexual cooling in a man in marriage? Our expert answers these and other important and frank questions, Irina Volkova, vice-president of the Association of Family Psychotherapists and Psychologists of the Republic of Kazakhstan, doctor, family psychotherapist, sexologist.
Volkova Irina Vladimirovna, vice-president of the Association of Family Psychotherapists and Psychologists of the Republic of Kazakhstan, doctor, family psychotherapist, sexologist, www.b17.ru/volira
About sexual compatibility of spouses
In our society, at least here in Almaty, recently there has been a trend for some unknown reason, when spouses do not consider sexual compatibility as a priority component.
I have a lot of work experience, and it seems to me that earlier, in Soviet times, even when there was “no sex,” this component when creating a family was considered very important, it was even dominant, and the person understood that he wanted to create a family with this particular partner. family. Now, in my opinion, society has become more material, and the compatibility factor is being discarded somewhere. Perhaps this is due to the fact that today everything can be bought or ordered on the Internet, due to which some desired result will be achieved one way or another. And this mentality is so deeply ingrained among our people that they often There are couples who can live in marriage for a year or even five years and still not go through the stage of defloration.
Why? One doesn’t want it, the other doesn’t need it. Others, perhaps, even gave birth to a child, and that’s where it all ended for them, because, as it were, the “result” is already there, and then they are not attracted to each other, or one was attracted, but the other is not attracted, because they are like - they balanced out. And this point, of course, needs to be discussed by young people, and certainly not hidden. Unfortunately, people don’t have “buttons” where this or that emotion or this or that feeling is “turned on.”
You need to look at whether there is libido, whether there is physiological attraction between these two partners who are just approaching some more serious, long-term marriage relationship. I think this is where we need to start.
About the nuances of male physiology
The physiology of men and women is completely different. One cannot discount such a nuance of male psychology and sexual physiology as spermatogenesis. In a man, spermatogenesis occurs every 2-3 days, and by its nature it is capable of fertilizing a lot of women. Some of our deputies rely on this when they advocate the adoption of a law on polygamy. Therefore, a man, in principle, can easily and happily impregnate anyone once. But for the second or third time he may not approach this partner, due to the fact that she will no longer be interesting to him. Therefore, a couple who views each other not as a one-time partner, but as a person with whom they are going to start a family, must listen and hear each other.
About how to simply ignite the “fire of passion” in your husband
Any man looks for understanding and kindness in a woman. Therefore, no one will like an angry girl who communicates with a man in a rude manner and allows swear words in her speech. Of course, there are couples who use such “unprintable” words in sex that excite, but these are rather exceptions, and they do not occur so often. In sex, this is exciting, but in everyday life, for example, when a man comes home from work and a woman greets him with abuse: “Where have you been?!” and so on - this is certainly repulsive. No matter how sexy a woman looks, any man expects adequate treatment. So that she can speak in an even voice, so that she is wise, does not nag, and behaves with dignity.
How else can you keep your passion alive? You can write erotic Internet messages to each other during the week containing some scenarios about your next joint vacation with game moments, descriptions of role-playing games, costumes. Another option is to purchase new sexy outfit. In any lingerie store there is a rack with costumes for role-playing games - it’s not just that, it means they try it, and it works.
There are couples in which the woman complains that nothing works on her husband, no sexy outfits, and so on. And the man says: “Well, at least I should have bought some kind of erotic costume!” It is important to understand that Men and women may have completely different ideas about erotic costumes! For example, a woman buys delicate lingerie with lace - from her point of view it is beautiful. But “these laces” are not interesting to him; he imagines specialized outfits with a more revealing, maybe even “flashy” design.
Couples need to talk more, ask each other, but not like this: “What would turn you on?” - such a question will have no effect, because it is difficult for a loved one to open up. You can show some specialized sites and ask your husband: “What do you think turns men on more?” Of course, he will talk about men using his example. You need to talk about someone using indirect examples, or showing pictures, and not “hit” directly on the forehead.
What to say and not say to your husband?
If this is a conflict situation, the intensity of passions, then you need to be able to realize your anger; under no circumstances should you suppress it. You can express your dissatisfaction, but you just need to do this with humor, for example: “You know, I imagine how I would take a frying pan and ... (say some actions without performing them), and wow!” The couple will laugh together and the atmosphere will lighten. But the man will understand her claims, what feelings he aroused at that moment, if this woman is interesting to him and he wants to hear her. We are talking about couples where there are feelings, there is a place of love, and they got married not because this is an advantageous match, but because they experience sincere feelings for each other, physical attraction, attraction of mind and soul with coinciding life values. Of course, throughout life there may be a weakening of feelings, somewhere a change in relationships, but this situation can be solved.
Any emotions are dulled and transformed. Some admit that when they saw their loved one for the first time, or felt his touch, they felt real trepidation. But now, unfortunately, this is not the case. But this is your loved one, and with him comes empathy, a desire to care, to celebrate holidays, and to spend time with interest. It is important to remember that a woman and a man not only play the role of parents and friends. Sometimes you need to send your children somewhere to stay and consciously think about how you can revive your relationship, or go somewhere for the weekend.
How to get your husband to experiment in bed
Some women admit that they are not satisfied with their sex life. They remember that they tried to buy erotic costumes, they were in different images, like Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, and a flight attendant. Their husbands, in turn, admit the opposite: “I don’t need a flight attendant, I need you!” I’m tired of all this, I miss you, just as you are.”
For mutual understanding, it is very important to ask what your husband wants. There are men who are completely uninterested in such surroundings. For such a husband, the woman herself is much more important; it is more interesting and pleasant for him to fulfill any of her wishes, to find out what excites her, what he can do for her. For example, blindfolding causes completely different feelings. Also, a wife can try to explain her wishes to her husband using indirect examples: “You know, I recently read about something, there are such enchanting emotions, I wonder if this is true? Let's try".
About “films for adults”
Any woman at least once in her life has visited sites with “adult films” and watched them. Some married couples even watch such “movies” together, for the purpose of excitement, or wanting to conduct some kind of educational program, to take note of some new elements.
But how should a wife behave if she “caught” her husband watching “adult films”? Firstly, under no circumstances should you swear or make noise. A woman is not a mother, not a teacher, to teach an adult man and tell him what to watch and what not - this is the prerogative of every adult.
Of course, there are more critical cases. If a man does not get enough sleep because of watching such films, he is late for work, and this type of leisure leads to damage to the entire functioning of the family and sexual life. If, instead of having sex with his wife, he prefers to watch such films, despite the fact that his wife is nearby, always beautiful and well-groomed, then this is definitely a reason to consult a sexologist, because every woman has the right to her own prosperous sex life.
There is a softer version of the impact. If watching XXX films infringes on the wife, then she can tell her husband without reproach: “Darling, I miss you, I want you too, I get excited too. These films excite you, but you excite me. What do i do? I didn’t get married so that you and I could spend the night in different rooms. You understand me, I’m not saying this because I forbid you anything.”
Intimacy and conceiving a child are not synonymous
Every person in a relationship or marriage has their own not only reproductive, but also sexual rights. Even if there are at least 10 children in a family, there are many more moments of sexual intimacy. After all, sex also pursues another goal - emotional satisfaction, physiological, if you like. This affects both life activity and success.
I am deeply convinced that there is a correlation between being in demand in the sexual sphere and a person’s success in life as such. All this is interconnected. Our women do not need to be embarrassed to tell men that they feel and are attracted to them as sexual partners.
Some men believe that if they do not cheat and always want their wives, then this is an indicator of women’s “constant readiness.” However, it is not. After all, there is a special mechanism for arousing a woman, there are different types of orgasms, and it is a certain art to be a good lover. Many educated men do not know or understand this; they are sincerely surprised by such seemingly truisms. And all because from time immemorial the woman was the receiving party and was always in the shadow: the husband came up - good, no - well, what can I do, then next time, I’ll be patient.
About what causes sexual cooling in a man in marriage
There are reasons that cause sexual cooling in a man in marriage. Most often, a woman begins to cultivate a parental position in herself: “You did it wrong, you don’t know how, you can’t,” she tries to re-educate her husband. And this function is non-sexual. No one has sexual feelings for their parents.
Or the wife begins to care excessively about her husband: “Did he put on his hat, did he eat/not eat, bring/serve” - this is all, of course, good, but moderation is needed everywhere. In such a family, the wife ceases to be for her husband a woman who respects herself, who expects signs of attention from him, who maintains the “take-and-give” balance, turning into the image of a mother: she scolds, scolds.
With such a woman, a man becomes uninteresting. Why do men, having been married for 20-30 years, leave for younger people? Not only because the young wife is sexy and attractive, but more often because such girls, first of all, see a successful man in their spouse. They don’t run after them with pills: “You can’t eat fried/spicy/salty, drink the tincture on time,” and so on. Young girls see such husbands as equals with whom they can go to a disco. And even if the husband admits in the depths of his soul that he can “die” there on the dance floor, but he feels like a man. Therefore, there is no need to play the role of mom or sister.
About sex after having children
Our children are not born every year. Therefore, when a child appears in the family, you need to prepare. For example, in terms of everyday life, we prepare like this: we buy a bed, we renovate the apartment. You also need to be psychologically savvy to the upcoming changes. It will be useful to enroll in a school to prepare for childbirth, which you can attend together with your husbands, and ask questions on how to maintain a vibrant sex life after having children. Clarify all the risks associated with childbirth and childbirth. You can also always come to an appointment with a sexologist and ask him all your questions. Everything is easily solvable.
It happens that after the birth of a child, nannies from the wife’s side come running into the house and hurl comments at the husband: “Oh, you didn’t wash your hands, you’re holding him wrong, you’ll drop him, you feed him incorrectly, he’ll suffocate/choke,” etc. One - twice they “beat him on the wrist” like this, the third time the man simply stops approaching the baby, because he was removed from raising the child. And since he was removed, he goes somewhere further, and, naturally, pays less attention to his wife.
Nature is not stupid. It's very well thought out. Many couples who have harmonious relationships feel each other's sexual rhythms and desires. Even when the wife is pregnant, the husband is ready to communicate with her intimately, and when she has toxicosis, he understands everything and does not approach her, sensing her mood thanks to his highly developed empathy. And when the wife gives birth, the husband at that moment wants her less physiologically, but when he sees his child, his protective paternal instinct turns on. This occurs even in animals.
In many European countries, according to the law, parents take turns on maternity leave. Men should be given the opportunity to realize their fatherhood. He is also a parent, he is a father. There is no need to look at traditions that do not fit into modern reality. It is important to allow a man to realize his paternity from the very first days of the child’s birth.
Can flirting be considered cheating?
Flirting is, of course, not cheating.
It is important to understand what the mentality of the relationship is in a couple. There are couples who, from the first day of their life together, “prescribe” a certain family charter, something like: “You and I look only at each other, a step left and right is “execution.”
In such a family, flirting is seen as treason, other men/women are not admired, people do not talk to them, they do not flirt. As a result, it turns out that people seemed to be in prison, in a cell for two. This is contrary to human nature.
Human life consists of communication with men and women, so one way or another we receive certain nourishment from the outside world. If a girl on the way home receives a compliment from a colleague: “How does your new fur coat/hair/makeup suit you?”, she comes home inspired. And all the energy received is subsequently realized with her husband! Therefore, emotional support is very important.
It is also important to be able to give the right compliments yourself, thus lifting the mood of another person, and, of course, you need to be able to accept compliments gracefully. The couple that knows how to admire people from the outside is stronger. After all, aesthetic perception should not be dulled from the moment of marriage. Is it indecent to see beauty? Such a couple, which is not afraid to talk about another person (no matter a man or a woman), appreciate his beauty, intelligence, as a rule, does not go beyond flirting and does not create dangers for family harmony.
Flirting is like a good “vitamin pill” that fuels and gives positive emotions. It lifts your spirits and makes you feel light and pleasant – why not? Of course, this does not apply, for example, to demands from a boss, where a woman feels uncomfortable - this is a completely different “song”.
Not all husbands know how to give their wives the necessary charge of emotions. For example, a wife comes home and easily tells her husband: “Oh, I was very pleased when they said such and such a compliment.” Smart husbands, having heard such phrases, also learn this art over time.
Ask questions - to yourself and others
If a woman understands that she is too carried away by flirting, it means that something does not suit her at home. We urgently need to change something, work on marital relationships.
The family system is not static, it is a dynamically developing scheme that changes every day. The weather has changed, so has the mood, and relationships change. People, like it or not, also change. Therefore, it is very important to set the vector of these changes ourselves, but for those couples who let everything that happens at home take its course, it will be their luck where they go out.
At all, There is no need to hesitate to contact specialists on time. When we need to carry out any action, for example, to buy or sell something large, we turn to lawyers, economists, and ask them to help draw up papers. The same goes for psychologists and sexologists. There are many simple solutions that can radically change the situation.
What to do if you suspect cheating?
If a wife suspects her husband of cheating, then there is no need to create a scandal. She should consult a specialist herself and try to analyze what in the relationship pushed him to cheat. Usually men cheat when they are not satisfied with something in life, when they do not satisfy their sexuality, and the wife turns on the “mom”, “boss”, trying to manage him, or constantly “nags”, expressing her dissatisfaction with her husband. In such a situation, it is important to understand what moment may cause his dissatisfaction, and why he is cheating. Maybe the wife stopped saying kind words? Or is the problem something else?
There are many attractive women who themselves admit that they are not affectionate. Despite the fact that they love to receive affection from men, they themselves do not express love either physically or verbally. They don’t say kind words because they are always in the “vampire” style. But it’s hard for a man next to such a woman, he is also a living person, and he also sometimes needs support. The balance of friendly-loving-mature should always be present.
How to instill sex education in children
You need to learn to talk with your child on this topic from the moment he begins to ask questions himself, for example, a boy is interested in why some parts of his body are different from the girl next door. This can be from 2 years of age and older. Many of our compatriots are afraid to address this issue, and this is wrong. From the moment of pregnancy, you can buy special literature - there is a sexual encyclopedia for the little ones on sale, in which all such nuances are described in accessible language.
There are a lot of cartoons on the Internet on the topic of sex education. And this sensitive topic of “where do children come from” is presented in the most understandable and “cartoon-like” form. Parents should be prepared for such a discussion.
The most important thing is not to evoke a “forbidden” feeling in the child, almost slapping him on the lips, saying: “It’s terrible, how did you know that!”, “When you grow up, you’ll find out!”, “It’s too early for you to know about this,” and so on. This attitude will develop in the child a desire to turn to strangers on the street for answers, and never ask such questions to his family again.
A child with such an upbringing will have it embedded in the subconscious for many years that questions on sexual topics are equal to something dirty, bad, forbidden. Having met his partner in adult life, he begins to have difficulties: after all, before the wedding he was good and free, sexy, and when his companion became his wife, the program “with close people the topic of sex is something dirty, bad, abnormal” immediately turns on. .
If a child asked where children come from around the age of three, parents need to start telling the story with interest: “Oh you know, this is such an interesting story, well done for asking! Uncle Yerzhan and Aunt Saule studied together at school, then at the institute, and so they became friends together...” When you talk with pleasure, after about 5 minutes the child will leave the conversation on his own, because at this age he still doesn’t understand much. The main thing is to show that you don't mind answering different questions and you have nothing to hide. You share information with joy!
The most important thing is to instill in the child the knowledge that feelings, friendship, mutual understanding and care for each other are important between people; they are interested in spending time with each other. And then they are pleased to touch each other, they want to hug and kiss their person, and after all this they think about children. At three years old, the child will not listen to this point. Maybe he’ll listen to the end when he’s seven and ask: “What’s next?” In this case, you continue the dialogue and say that in the process of maturation, each person produces a certain cell, which, connecting with a female cell, creates a child, and further in the text. And then you can watch a cartoon to reinforce the information.
I wish your readers to be sexy, loved, interesting personalities! Don’t lean in one direction in your development, try to be self-sufficient and independent, but at the same time loving! And remember that we cannot be completely independent, therefore, decide for yourself what you can, and delegate what you cannot. Don't be afraid to ask without demanding - this is a very important point. Love to all!
The modern world encourages us not to be shy about telling our partner about our sexual desires. But, unfortunately, most marriages still fall apart due to fading passion and reluctance to diversify their intimate life. If you have ever encountered a similar problem, we do not encourage you to rush to extremes by offering your lover role-playing games in the style of “50 shades of gray”, we are simply reminding you of 69 basic rules that will help you relax and better understand your partner.
1. The main thing in intimate relationships is honesty - before you fake an orgasm for the first time, remember that then you will have to repeat it again and again.
2. Alternate tenderness with rudeness.
3. Do it with music: from classics to the soundtrack from Nymphomaniac.
4. Experiment with the location: let it be the kitchen table or washing machine today.
5. Sex in public places seems wild to many. Until you start with the basics - from a cozy park or from a fitting room.
6. If you want him to do certain things (for example, blindfold you), do it with him first - the hint will be understood.
7. Often your mutual pleasure depends not on the technique of performing actions, but on enthusiasm.
8. Relax and agree that you will take turns behaving the way you like. He rules for 15 minutes, and then you.
9. Periodically arrange body familiarization sessions - smoothly explore each other’s sensitive areas.
10. If you think that the initiative should always come from him, you are mistaken.
11. Lack of sex does affect your emotional state, so don't allow yourself to make it routine.
12. Use lubricants - let them not only be products with different smells, but also with a warming or cooling effect.
13. Even new bedding affects your mood - give preference to thick, plain cotton.
14. Talk during sex: start with innocent, even timid phrases spoken in a whisper. Gradually you will develop your own language.
15. Pay attention to the little things: body language, facial expressions, and your partner’s reactions will guide you in the right direction.
16. Take an example from movie characters: watching an erotic film together will put you in the right mood.
17. It’s not true that men don’t pay attention to hair removal – don’t neglect it.
18. The first step to new sensations is beautiful underwear. Choose less lace and more sheer fabrics. Stockings are also necessary.
19. Men are turned on by sex in the light - do not deny him this pleasure.
20. Let him look at your body.
21. Sex in front of a mirror is the most common male fantasy, and you will like it too.
22. Start unobtrusively seducing him in the restaurant or on the way home - this will guarantee an unforgettable night.
23. Massage is the most harmless, relaxing and effective foreplay.
24. According to statistics, men are more excited in the morning, so the most important thing after waking up is not breakfast.
25. Eye contact is everything.
26. Look into sex shops together – it’s fun and helps you relax.
27. Don't be afraid to use intimate toys during sex - they really give new sensations.
28. Always remember that your secret weapon after a fight, no matter how it ends, is sex. But don't get carried away.
29. You can teach him to do it at your own pace - just ask him to relax and enjoy it.
30. Go to sex training together - you will be surprised how interesting it is to learn the science of sex in theory, and then consolidate it in practice.
31. Be selfish - exactly at the moment when you enjoy every movement, he does it with you in unison.
32. Smells excite. Let him associate sex with the aroma of your perfume or oil, which you apply ten minutes before.
33. Change algorithms. Starting with the sounds you make in bed, ending with the positions in which you reach your peak.
34. Spend a few days without each other - this will increase affection and desire.
35. No one has canceled phone sex - text at work, remembering the details of last night, or send each other sexy photos.
36. Don’t neglect quick, passionate sex – it always causes adrenaline.
37. Wake him up at night - start with light stroking. The effect of surprise enhances emotions.
38. Make a home video - just don’t forget to hide it in a secret folder later.
39. Fulfill a new fantasy for each other every week.
40. Play "Weak" or "Never Have I Ever" - it will be just as fun and exciting as when you were a teenager.
41. Don’t settle for gratuitous pleasure. You for me, I for you.
42. Turn to the Kama Sutra - at first it will be funny and uncomfortable, but then you will definitely find something “yours.”
43. Start a sexual game with food: it may be as old as time, but it always excites and satisfies hunger.
44. And yet let's move on to role-playing games: why not? As cliché as it may sound, start with the nurse and the patient.
45. Handcuffs, whips and masks have never left anyone indifferent.
46. Try a light form of tantric sex - bringing each other to the peak in an atypical way.
47. Learn Kegel exercises - not only you, but he will feel the effect.
48. During caresses, guide his hands yourself - this will turn you on even more.
49. Watch his favorite porn movie with him.
50. Buy vibrating underwear with a remote control. This way he can control your emotions even at a social dinner.
51. Try sex in water. It could be a pool or the sea.
52. Shower together.
53. Tell each other what you want unexpectedly. Even if you are in a supermarket.
54. Run a marathon – try doing this every day for several months, no matter how tired you are and no matter how much time you have.
55. Make a list of what you haven't tried yet and cross off what you have done.
56. Drop by each other's work unexpectedly for a lunchtime pick-me-up.
57. Get a hotel room and have a “typical romantic evening.”
58. Go to a bar together and remember the crazy beginning of your relationship: dance and kiss in front of everyone.
59. Set up a challenge - travel to different cities in order to expand your intimate map. 64. Don’t be afraid of confined spaces - sex in an elevator will be remembered for a long time.
65. Sexy dances in the style of “Nine and a Half Weeks” are always relevant.
66. Try cooking dinner sometime wearing an apron while wearing a naked body. He will not be able to tear himself away from you, and therefore from dinner.
67. Most men dream of sex or at least caresses on an airplane.
68. Give each other an adrenaline rush by skydiving or going on a roller coaster. Fear is exciting.
69. Take a bath together: bubbles, wine and relaxing music are the right way to end the day.
It often happens that in the eyes of strangers a couple looks happy, but the husband and wife do not feel like that. Difficulties at work, everyday affairs, material well-being - all this affects family relationships. Spouses are moving away from each other, so there is a need to add variety to everyday life.
Sex
Some men do not want to share a bed with a single partner, so they are in constant search. They often want to experience something new and unknown, which pushes them towards active sexual relations. Men expect bright and passionate sex from meetings. Intimacy with one woman seems like a routine to them. In order to avoid such an outcome, you need to add variety to the sexual life of your partners.
- No graphs or tables. Intimacy must be desired; sexual intercourse cannot be scheduled. Sex is governed by the feelings of the partners. You shouldn’t set aside a specific time, everything should not go according to plan. Only then will making love definitely bring pleasure to both of you.
- Quick sex is good in its own way. Such sexual intercourse is not only an opportunity for pleasure, but also a way of improvisation, because it happens suddenly. Quick sex will warm up the excitement in a man, and from now on he will have to always be on guard. This type of act is good because it can be done not only in the bedroom.
- Memories of first intimacy. You can warm up the feelings you experienced at the beginning of the relationship, remember your first intimacy and repeat. Perhaps you were in nature or in the back seat of a car. This method is useful if partners are tired of everyday life, as a result of which they want to feel the former attraction.
- Time for pranks. A man and a woman who are in a long-term relationship have already perfectly learned each other’s preferences. Couples are encouraged to experiment by learning new methods of achieving orgasm. Sometimes you can play role-playing games, revealing something new and exciting for yourself. Use your imagination and come up with conditions, for example, undressing or fulfillment of desires. Flip through the Kama Sutra or watch an erotic video.
Bringing your companion to orgasm through simple manipulations is a great way to brighten up everyday life. Ladies should not be ashamed of their own desires, learn to guess the fantasies of your gentleman. By following simple manipulations, your husband will look forward to the evening.
Visiting new places and cities raises morale and gives positive emotions for the six months ahead. Take a three-day tour to Egypt or stroll through the narrow streets of Spain.
It is not necessary to spend exorbitant amounts of money, especially if funds are limited. Go with tents to the banks of a river or lake, go on an excursion to a neighboring city, and see the sights of your native places. There are a lot of opportunities, the main thing is to find time to implement them.
Once a year, try to visit new countries, take a two-week trip and forget about work during this time. Days spent together diversify family relationships. Leave your problems and worries behind and enjoy your vacation. Don’t forget to take a camera with you, take a lot of pictures so that you can look through them later and revive the emotions you received.
If there is no opportunity for the above-described methods of relaxation, have a picnic in your hometown, turn off your phones and get to know each other with every passing minute. Take a soft blanket, a basket of groceries and a bottle of wine.
Family traditions
Eating together. If you eat breakfast separately, fix that. In cases where it is difficult to find time due to differences in work schedules, agree to see each other for lunch or dinner. Delicious food is associated with pleasant memories, communicate, learn each other’s news, spend more time together.
Movie time. Agree with your husband that on a specific day of the week you will go to the cinema or arrange a home viewing. In the first case, buy tickets in advance so that both of you do not have excuses or imaginary fatigue. In the second case, order delivery of pizza, sushi or any other food of your choice. Turn on an interesting movie, buy a bottle of good wine or champagne, and enjoy the evening. Make it a habit to spend time together in this way at least once a week.
Camping. Create a weekend tradition. In warm weather, go to the park more often or go out of town, look for new interesting places, barbecue in nature. In winter, go skiing or skating, spend your weekends usefully, time flies.
Hobby
Common interests bring spouses together, look for common ground. Of course, evening sitting on the couch watching TV is an exciting activity, but it is important to find something more worthwhile.
Summer is coming, but you haven't gotten your body in shape yet? Join a gym and buy a membership for your spouse. Modern fitness clubs offer discounts for married couples, so you can save money and tone your body. It is not necessary to lift dumbbells all day long; three visits a week is enough.
Pay attention to extreme hobbies. Recently, the trend for motorsports has been gaining rapid momentum, go to a trial lesson at a motorcycle school, under the guidance of an experienced instructor you can easily master the basics of riding a two-wheeled vehicle.
Dance studios are recruiting groups to teach salsa and tango. The two directions are inextricably linked with the sensuality of partners, which is why such dances are very popular among married couples.
Not everyone knows how to ski and snowboard. Find out about the ski slopes in your city, and then start learning. You can buy your own equipment, but many companies rent it out.
For calm people, photography courses that last 1.5-2 months are suitable. Now you will have something to discuss at dinner, talking about the direction of the light and the makeup of the models. Also check out the exhibitions of famous photographers, which are held several times a month.
An excellent option would be to study the language. Learn to speak English, French, German or Spanish in just a few months. Practice with your spouse at home, communicate in a foreign language. A useful and necessary skill in modern society.
It is not necessary to give your husband gifts only on holidays; buy gifts for no reason. Visit a spa and find out about couples' treatments. Spend time like king and queen while enjoying aromatherapy or a massage.
For brave couples, an excellent option would be a parachute jump with the assistance of an experienced instructor. There is an alternative to this extreme sport - a wind tunnel. For several minutes you will be floating in zero gravity, holding hands.
Go shopping, buy your husband a couple of new shirts and his favorite perfume. Prepare a delicious dinner, pour a hot bath with foam and rose petals. Turn on romantic music, dim the lights and call your spouse. Give him the gift you bought, which you presented for absolutely no reason. Such a romantic gesture will push your partner to respond.
You probably know your husband’s hobbies, so build on them. If he watches football with friends in the evenings, buy tickets for the match, a scarf and a T-shirt with the logo of his favorite team. In cases where a man is interested in cars, consult with the seller and purchase a navigator, radar detector or good speakers. You can also order a mug with a joint photo from a photo studio, accompanying it with gentle words. Use your imagination!
In summer or spring, you can visit a horse riding school and book a three-hour horseback ride around the area. You will be accompanied by an instructor, so no unforeseen situations should arise. After that, order dinner at your husband’s favorite restaurant and spend time together in a cozy and relaxed atmosphere.
Family life needs variety. Take the initiative in sex, create your own family traditions that will pass on to the next generation. Look for common ground, communicate more, get involved in a common cause. Make time for travel and outings, give your husband gifts, he will definitely reciprocate the gesture.
Video: how to diversify relationships
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